Even more Explanation!

'Magic Mates,' Arthur read. 'A rare form of potent magic that binds two magical adversaries together, to create peace. The magic creates a strong attachment which brings the two people together, binding them physically, mentally and magically.'

I sighed we had been at this now for hours, reading everything we could about the bond that was now between me and Morgana, I was surprised at the willingness of Arthur to help, of all of them, somewhere through the night the rest of the round table knights, Percival, Leon, and Elyan had turned up and I had had to explain the whole situation all over again. But at least I was happy that finally everything was out in the open, and they weren't mocking me, on the other hand they seemed extremely sympathetic.

'Tell me something I don't know,' I said.

'How about this?' Gwen said. 'When the bond grows and the two adversaries reach a common ground the two people can receive empathic gifts as to how the other is feeling.'

'So you're saying that I'll be able to feel her emotions?' I asked.

'Seems so.'

'I don't think Merlin wants to be feeling evil and hatred towards any of us,' Gwaine said.

'She's not evil,' I said back at him, although I knew that part of her was revelling in hatred and anger I also had to believe that deep down the Morgana we all knew and loved was in there.

'Forgive us if we don't agree Merlin' Leon said.

'I can bring her back I know I can,' I said.

'And what if you can't?' Leon asked again.

'What do you mean? I asked.

'Well what happens if she doesn't see things our way, you're going to be bonded to an evil sorceress for the rest of your life, and you're not going to be able to do anything,' Leon said.

'And we can't do anything about it either,' Elyan joined in.

'What do you mean?'

'Well it says that, Magic Mates have a strong urge to protect, how are we going to stop her when we have the most powerful Warlock ever against us?' Elyan said.

'Exactly,' Leon said.

I stared at all of them even Arthur was looking at me as if I could be a potential enemy. I was bonded to Morgana I could feel it in my entire body, but I wouldn't join her side because of that bond as I'm sure she wouldn't join ours either. No we had to talk, alone with no one to influence us until we found common ground. I was so looking forward to the point when we did, well if we did I should say.

'Do you think that just because I'm bonded to her I'm going to become her?' I asked, 'Do you really think so low of me?' I took pleasure in the fact that they all looked fully chastened.

'Of course not Merlin,' Gaius said.

I stared at the rest of them, Arthur had lowered his eyes but the rest of them except Gwaine who was glaring at them, all still looked doubtful it frustrated me to no limits.

'My destiny, my sole purpose in life is to serve Arthur and to help bring about peace, if you think that's going to change because of my new feelings for Morgana which I didn't ask for by the way, well then you don't know me very well.'

'Well, no we don't know you very well do we Merlin, you've kept a lot of things from us.' Arthur said.

I could tell as soon as he had said it he regretted it but I couldn't forgive him for that one so easily. I had given my life to Arthur, my magic belonged to him, it was his to command, I would do anything to keep him safe and happy, hell I loved him like my brother and it broke me to hear those words. I thought we had talked this through.

'How dare you?' I whispered to him in a quiet voice, 'You have no idea what I've gone through for you Arthur, what I'm still going through, how dare you question me?' I stood up sharply out my seat and made towards the door.

'Merlin, I'm sorry I didn't mean it,' Arthur said.

'Oh but you did Arthur you don't trust me, and my new found feelings for Morgana are making it even worse, admit it,' I said turning back to him.

'Well forgive me for being doubtful Merlin, from what these books are describing you can't live without her, you'll die without her, so how are you going to sort this out?' Arthur said.

'I DON'T KNOW!' I was yelling again but I couldn't help it, and with my loss of control and my stress levels rising the pain from my separation with Morgana began to increase again.

It filled my body and rose to my head swirling my thoughts. Before I hadn't had my magic to feel its reaction but now I could feel its confusion it's want to help, but not finding any spell that could help. Only Morgana could help, it was a throbbing ache that just kept building like a muscle cramp only ten times worse. I fell to my knees gasping for breath Gwaine was instantly by my side.

'Merlin mate, are you okay?' I shook my head in response. He turned to Arthur in anger 'look at what you've done; you've made him loose focus!'

Arthur was by my side now brushing my hair back with a cooling hand and Gaius was dishing out instructions.

'Gwen go get some cold water and some cloths,' Gaius said and watched as she hastened to obey.

'Can anything be done?' Arthur asked, he was sitting behind me now his arms around me supporting me as I shook in his arms, if I wasn't so weak I would have mocked him about this girly pose, but refrained. Arthur cared about me, he was just scared, we all were.

'I'm sorry Merlin, I'm just nervous', Arthur said trying to soothe me with a rocking motion.

'Don't worry…about it' I said stuttering again. 'I…forgive…you.'

'He's entirely too forgiving if you ask me,' Gwaine said, and the rest of the knights laughed. Gwen returned with water and helped to bathe my forehead.

'Gaius?' Arthur asked.

'Morgana is the only cure,' he responded.

'Do you think she'll come?' Arthur asked.

'She'll feel the… need, but she… might be in…. no state to teleport,' I said.

'Well we'll have to bring her kicking and screaming to you,' Arthur said and went to move.

At that exact moment I felt her, she was in pain so much pain like me, I felt a rush of desire and longing along with betrayal and frustration. She was coming; she had managed to teleport, even now in the midst of a spell my magic called to hers.

'She's here!' I said.

'Guards!' Arthur yelled and guards burst into the room preparing for an attack.

'No…you'll scare her,' I said. But before he could respond she exploded into the room in a cloud of wind.

My eyes found hers as she fell to the floor in pain, her pain brought me to action and I was on my feet running towards her. Her appearance startled me, she had never looked more wilder and feral, her eyes were roaming backwards and forwards from the knights to me, but always back to me I noticed with pleasure.

I reached for her with open arms but watched in dismay from her place on the floor as she pushed back from me. Her beautiful green eyes wanted nothing more than to leap into my arms but her nature and emotions were screaming that I was the enemy.

'Morgana?' I whispered.

'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?' She screamed her voice hoarse with pain and desperation.

'Nothing,' I said in a claiming voice desperate to have her in my arms 'no one is going to hurt you, I feel this connection as well as you, let me help.'

She stared at me for the longest time my heart aching before a cry of anger had her up and running. She collided with me and a rush of energy filled me, it was like lightening, strong and sharp flooding my senses allowing me to breathe. An overwhelming feeling of relief filled me. I was touching her, the pain was residing and we slid to the floor in each other's arms in relief. I noticed she was shaking and pounding her fists onto my chest and then wincing as she hurt me.

'What have you done to me?' she repeated now in a quieter voice.

I slid my arms around her blocking her punches and gently began to rock her, with one hand I stroked her hair and I nestled my face into her neck loving her scent. She kept repeating the same words over and over again at me, gradually getting quieter as I rocked her into a steady calmness.

Guards stepped forward as if to help with her and I snapped at them, angry that they were going to try and take her from me before I had even talked to her.

'GET AWAY FROM HER!' and my magic responded creating a thin harmless shield to flash up between us.

I turned my attention back to her, always back to her and started stroking her hair again.

'I'll explain everything to you I promise, but you're exhausted we both are, and the guards and Arthur won't rest till we've sorted this out.'

She had no response and just clung to me crying softly repeating the same words as her flesh sort mine.

'Morgana?' I said forcing her chin up to look me in the eyes 'trust me, let me help,' she stared at me for the longest time and then with a sigh nodded.

'Swefe nu,' I whispered lovingly and gently kissed her forehead as he eyes closed in sleep.

I sighed and rested my head on top of hers letting her warmth and closeness give me energy, her magic too was rejoicing with mine to I could feel it like they were long lost friends who had missed each other.

I turned to look back at my friends, tears now coursing down my face as I begged them to understand that I couldn't help this. Arthur stepped forwards and I couldn't help it, I tensed and my shield brightened. He held up his hands placating.

'I'm not going to take her from you Merlin, or put her in the dungeons I just want to check if you're okay,' It was the most soothing I had ever heard his voice and it calmed me and I let down my shield.

He and Gaius came towards me then, Gaius checked both Morgana and mines condition although I wouldn't let her out of my arms and Arthur just studied my face.

'I need to talk to her alone,' I said.

'What about her old chambers?' Arthur asked 'they're unused and no one goes there any more,' Arthur said and I nodded, it was a good plan, I lightened her weight with magic and then lifted her into my arms, Arthur looked impressed.

'Magic,' I said.

'Ah.'

'I think someone should come with you,' Arthur said.

'No,' I snapped. 'I'm not going to start planning your destruction Arthur,' I said.

'I know, it's just I'm not sure it would be proper', I almost laughed he was worried about image, class and gossip at a time like this.

'There's nothing proper about this relationship Arthur,' I said raising my eyebrows.

'Maybe I should come Merlin,' Gwen said and I turned to look at her.

'She's needs changing and washing I'm sure it will help having me around, seeing as I'm used to it,' Gwen said and my love for her shot up, Morgana had done so much wrong to her but her kindness wouldn't let her ignore someone in need.

I nodded in response 'then you leave us,' I said and she nodded in reply. 'Let's go then.'

I carried her all the way to her old chambers thanking god for magic; they were on the other side of the castle! I rested her on the bed as Gwen went to fill the bath. I studied her face, her skin was pale and sickly she had been suffering too, probably cursing my very name. I shuddered. Her hair which I had loved so much was matted and dirt clung to its once shiny lengths.

Gwen finished the bath and helped me undress her, she had tried to protest at my help but I ignored her and kept my eyes on her face. It's not like I was going to start lusting over her when she was unconscious and emotional and hating me, I mean what kind of man did she think I was? I told her as much, and watched as she blushed in reply.

Once she was undressed I lifted her with magic into the bath, I supported her head above the water whilst Gwen rinsed her body. I took a comb and lovingly began work through the tangles of her hair, restoring it to its former glory; I caught Gwen looking at me.

'What?' I asked.

'I'm jealous,' she said

'Of what?' I said incredulous.

'The bond, you love her so completely,' it wasn't a question.

'I will never see another girl in the same light, I thought you pretty once Gwen, now you're just a face I'm friends with.'

'Makes me wonder,' she said and I turned to stare at her now.

'About?'

'If Arthur's the one,' Gwen said and I raised my eyebrows in shock

'Lancelot?' I asked wondering if she still had feelings for the dead knight.

'I loved both of them Merlin, but how is that true love, true love should encompass your whole body and mind like yours does,' she said her eyes turning back towards Morgana.

'But you do love Arthur Gwen, I've seen it.'

'Yes but I still look at other guys and think they're handsome just as I'm sure he will look at other's,' Gwen said.

'That's normal Gwen,' I replied 'everyone has hormones they can't control, there's nothing wrong with appreciating someone else.'

'No but I loved Lancelot, Merlin, I don't know what I would have done had he been alive now,' Gwen said. 'I can't help but think that neither of them were or are my soul mates….did you believe in soul mates Merlin, even before all of this?'

I paused to consider gently rubbing soap through Morgana's her.

'Yes,' I replied 'And I think you're right that Arthur's not your soul mate Gwen but your soul mate could be on the other side of the world, he could be dead, do you really want to wait around when he probably won't show, that's pretty lonely existence Gwen. Especially when Arthur is there, someone you do love, how many couples do you know that you could put the label soul mates on?'

'I know, but looking at you and Morgana… I can't help but wish.'

'Don't wish for this Gwen, this between me and her isn't normal or something I can control, she makes me weak and strong and she is bonded to me so completely…it's not normal and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.'

'No?' she asked.

'Imagine you were forced into an arranged marriage Gwen that you were completely against and then fell in love with them, it would be like you didn't get to choose, like all your options were taken away, now magnify that by about ten and that's what you get'

'I suppose I'm just being selfish,' Gwen said and I smiled pleased she was coming round.

'Everyone's selfish every once in a while Gwen,' I said.

We finished washing Morgana and then I lifted her out of the bath with magic and let Gwen dry her and dress her in one of her old nightgowns, seeing her in her previous clothes brought a smile to my face. Her hair was clean, long and shining and her skin had a healthy tone she looked like the Morgana I once knew.

'I'll leave you alone, call me if you need anything,' Gwen said and left the room, my eyes never moving from her sleeping form.

I couldn't help myself, I climbed onto the bed with her despite her being asleep and laid next to her taking her hand in mine. I knew the coming conversations would be rough but I allowed myself to relax for one minute as I took in the feel of her skin on mine. My eyes closed and I allowed myself to fall asleep my thoughts on her as always.

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