I pretty much wrote this in my sleep last night, because I couldn't sleep and kept thinking about this story. This means you're getting a new chapter, because I needed to get this stuff out of my head and on to paper.
A special thank you to everyone reading this at AO3, especially to Ereina, Sleepy mouse & KitOfYaoi, for your kind supportive comments. I write for myself, but I rewrite and post this stuff for wonderful people like you!
Chapter 2: This is Thomas?!
My hands are shaking faintly as I slide Craig's gift back into my pocket. I know I'm acting childish, but I can't stand the thought of my present to Craig sharing a table with Thomas' gift.
On the other hand, his mother has already seen the gift, so won't she think it's weird if I don't leave it on the gift table? 'Crap!'
I pull the present out of my pocket and place it on the table, but when I do I accidentally knock Thomas' gift to the floor, and my foot accidentally kicks it under the table. Whoops!
With a heavy sigh I trudge upstairs to Craig's bedroom.
I can hear Craig's rowdy laughter coming from behind his closed door the moment that I step into the upstairs hallway, and it's embarrassing to admit, but it fucking hurts to know that Craig can laugh like that. That's not to say that he never laughs around me, because he does, a lot in fact, but this is different. This is the way that Craig laughs when he isn't with me. I don't like it at all!
I don't bother to knock, I just turn the knob on Craig's bedroom door. If this was a normal day, I would certainly knock first, because knocking is polite, and my mother has trained me well. However, today I feel the need to assert a little bit of dominance, so I go ahead and push the door open.
"COCK-ASS!" I step back as a scream of obscenities assaults my ears, and I stare wide eyed and awkwardly into Craig's bedroom.
"Fuck, I love it when you talk dirty, Thomas!" Craig declares through another bout of laughter.
Craig's sitting on the floor with his back against his bed, and another teen sits next to him with a lit joint in one hand. Even though he looks nothing like his picture I am certain this is Thomas, since the only other person in the room is Kyle who is laying upon Craig's bed with a surfing magazine in one hand.
Thomas' shoulder length hair is so blond it appears almost white, he's very tan with a strong jaw, and pale brown eyes that compliment a ruggedly handsome face. He's dressed casually in a pair of well worn dark jeans, a light brown and black striped sweater, and a pair of black Vans tennis shoes. He's fucking gorgeous!
What is this? I honestly could not be more shocked! Craig has spoken about Thomas in a way that made me assume he'd be more... frail... skinny... insomniac... mentally ill... someone like me!
'This is Thomas?! Jesus Christ, if this is my competition I am fucking screwed!'
As I stand in the doorway sizing up my adversary, Thomas leans over and whispers something into Craig's ear. His voice is too low for me to hear, but it causes Craig's eyes to open in surprise, and then Craig reaches one arm around Thomas' neck, and he whispers something back, causing Thomas to burst into laughter.
But then Kyle sees me. "Hey Dude!" Kyle greets me happily, but I don't acknowledge him, because I am too busy glaring at my boyfriend.
"Hey Tweek." Craig's seen me now too, and I can't help but notice how quickly he pulls his arm away from Thomas. He seems a little nervous too, and Craig rarely gets nervous. "Get in here quickly, and close the door."
It has been years since I've had a panic attack, but I can feel one coming on right now! All the anxiety is working its way throughout my body, leaving little tremors in its wake.
Crap, I can't spaz out right now, not in front of such a formidable rival. Fortunately, I can fix this! My anxiety cure is sitting right in front of me.
"Gah-move it!" I mumble at Thomas, and toss in a hostile glare. I scurry into Craig's room, and drop down to the floor, and I suppose Thomas must have some sense in that bleached head, since he quickly pushes over to allow me to squeeze myself in next to my boyfriend.
'Damn straight, I'm cutting in, Blondie!' I continue to glare at Thomas silently and grab Craig's hand possessively. Feeling instantly comforted, I close my eyes and focus my breathing.
"Tweek, what the fuck, I told you to shut the door." Craig complains, and pulls his hand away, so that he can lean over and slide the door closed with his foot. "My mom will kill us if she catches us with a joint."
"S-sorry." I pull his hand back inside mine, and hide my face against his shoulder, shaking uncontrollably. I close my eyes and start breathing slowly, taking comfort in his familiar scent. I know that I'm not making the best impression on my rival right now, but I need what I need, and right now I need Craig.
"Hey, are you alright?" Craig's voice is gentler now, filled with concern. He moves his free hand under my chin and tries to make me look up, but I shake my head and keep my face pressed into his shoulder, because I don't want him to know how badly I'm freaking out.
"Shit Dude, is he having a panic attack?" Fuckboy Thomas blows my cover, so I pull my face from the comfort of Craig's arm in order to glare at his stupidly perfect face some more.
"Here, take a hit of this. It'll calm you right down." Thomas holds out the joint to me, but Craig uses his free hand to grab it away quickly.
"No!" Craig says sternly.
"Wait" I cry out, just as Craig is about to put the joint to his own lips.
"I want to try it." I tell him, and reach for the joint. This isn't true. I have no interest in smoking pot. I simply don't want Craig to get an indirect kiss from Thomas, so I don't want Craig's lips touching that joint.
"No!" Craig repeats firmly, and holds the joint out of my reach.
"Why not?" I pout, because Craig is a sucker for my pout, and I'm not afraid to use it.
Thomas starts snickering, which only makes me hate him more, and causes my body to tremble with anger... or panic, at this point I really can't tell the difference, and neither can Craig.
"You won't be able to handle it." Craig explains while examining me with a worried frown. With a deep sigh, he pulls his hand away from mine and wraps his arm protectively around my shoulder, pulling me closer, and softly whispering in my ear.
"I'm here with you, Tweek. Breath slowly, and count with me... 1... 2...3..."
The last time he used this method to calm me down, was back in middle school, when I freaked about those rumors that he was cheating on me with Thomas. That was also the last time I had a serious attack.
'Fuck you, Thomas, if I die today it's all your fault!' I recommence my silent glare attack against my infuriating nemesis.
"You really should let him try the joint, it'll chill him right out." Thomas reasons, and has the nerve to smile at me all friendly like.
"Dude, I know you're practically the poster child for the medical marijuana business, and all that, but just because it helps with your tics, doesn't mean it's right for Tweek." Craig tells him frankly.
"It calms me down too, Dude! Let Tweek try a taste, it will be good for him!" Kyle mellowly tosses in his two cents, and goes back to reading his magazine.
"Fine." Craig gives in with another heavy sigh, but instead of handing me the joint he puts it to his lips, takes a deep drag, leans down, and presses his lips to mine.
'No way!' Is all I have time to think, before Craig's lips are moving against mine, his tongue pokes out against my bottom lip, causing me to slacken my jaw, and my mouth is filled with thick gross smoke. I inhale, and Craig pulls his lips away, much to my deep regret.
Of course, since I am a total loser, I start coughing, and I can't stop, because shit, I've never even tried a cigarette before.
"See Thomas, this is why Tweek can't have nice things." Craig says sarcastically, and I am officially humiliated.
Craig grabs a bottle of water from the top of his end table, pops off the lid and hands it to me. I take it quickly, put it to my lips and take a large drink, which causes me to choke.
"Sip it slowly." Craig tells me too late, but I get myself under control, and take another slower drink.
"You okay?" Craig asks, and I nod, because I am too overwhelmed to speak. My mind is still processing the fact that Craig 'sort of' kissed me, but I do feel much calmer now.
"See I told you it would calm him." Thomas boasts, while standing up and moving to sit on the foot of Craig's bed. Craig holds his joint hand up toward Kyle, and Kyle snatches the joint from his fingers.
"Shit Thomas, I can't believe you spend your days surfing in Malibu, while Craig are I are stuck in fucking South Park!" Kyle complains, and tosses the magazine he has been reading at Thomas, before taking a puff off the joint and exclaiming through the smoke. "Teach me to surf, Dude, I want to learn!"
"No you don't." Thomas flashes a toothy grin at the stoned redhead. "Hey Craig, did you hear that? Kyle wants to learn to surf again."
Craig's leaning back with his eyes closed now, and his only response is to raise his hand to flip everyone off. I have my head leaning against his chest now, taking this rare chance to cuddle with him, and listening to his gentle heartbeat.
"Remember last summer when the three of us went to Elitch Gardens? Kyle refused to get anywhere near the water." Thomas reminisces, and I wonder why Craig never mentioned this little trip to an amusement park.
"Dudes, shut the fuck up, I'm trying to relax!" Craig warns, but it's too late. I've already heard what Craig probably didn't want me to hear, because when I glance up at him he looks away uncomfortably.
"Of course I wouldn't go in that water!" Kyle cringes, and turns a little green. "Do you know how many people pee in that water. Trust me, Dude, that shit can kill you! It was lucky you and Craig made it out alive."
"Whatever, but I think you've had enough of this." Thomas tells him and takes the last of the joint from his hand. "Hey Tweek, do you want to take the last hit with me? My shotgun is better than Craigs."
"Bigger too!" Kyle says stupidly, and starts laughing like he just told the funniest joke in the world.
I shake my head in annoyance. Suddenly, I am not feeling so well, and it has nothing to do with anxiety. I'm just really pissed off! Craig is keeping secrets from me again, just like he did in middle school, why is it whenever this Thomas guy comes around Craig starts telling lies?
"Elitch Gardens, Craig? Sounds like fun" I say bitterly, while gazing harshly into his eyes.
"I don't want to deal with this right now." He says disinterestedly, pulling away and standing up quickly. He flips off Thomas, or is he flipping off Kyle? I don't know, since they are both behind me, and all my attention is focused on his face, because I rarely see him like this. He's obviously trying to appear normal, but I know that he's actually quite upset. That's how Craig is, he rarely shows anger, but that doesn't mean he doesn't get angry. Right now he is very angry and heading towards the door.
Just as Craig is about to open his bedroom door, someone knocks on it loudly, and the door is pushed open.
"Happy Birthday, Craig!" A group of guys - Stan, Kenny, Cartman and Clyde - bust in, and Craig is covered in confetti and streamers as party favors are blown noisily.
He doesn't react, he just keeps walking, and the newcomers all stare at us in confusion.
"He's pissed." Kyle says worriedly.
"No he's really pissed." Thomas says with a smirk. "Hey Tweek, you sure you don't need a hit?"
I don't answer, because I'm wondering how I managed to forget what day today is, and I feel guilty, because I haven't even wished Craig happy birthday, yet.
'Oh, Jesus, that's not the way a friend is supposed to act, and apparently that's all I am to Craig... a friend, a fake boyfriend, someone who it's okay to lie to... but not somebody Craig loves, because even I know that you don't lie to the people you love!'
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End of Chapter 2