Title: Rizzles – a 100 short ones :)

Author: Smilis

Disclaimer: No infringement intended. I own nothing I'm just borrowing the characters for my own amusement. These stories may depict two women in a sexual context and if that's not your cup of tea feel free to not read.

Summary: At the end of the game, decisions still needs to be made no matter how hard it may seem.

Rating: M

Feedback: Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate the fact that you take the time to write a sentence or two about this fic.

Chapter 2 - Talk? What talk?

Maura lay awake long after she had got Jane back to sleep thinking about her admission. On some level she had suspected that Jane wasn't entirely truthful about her love affairs but to think that a grown woman neglected to be true to herself because she wanted to please her mother was foreign to her. Of course she always saw to it that her mother was pleased whenever she visited, but that wasn't the same, she saw her mother two, three times a year, whenever she had time for a visit, so it wasn't really a sacrifice on her part. But Jane, she saw her mother daily and Angela was always coming down on her about marriage and children. You're not getting any younger Jane. I want grandkids before I'm dead. She loved Angela, she really did but sometimes she was a bit overbearing and liked telling her children what to do.

As the sun started to rise she climbed off the bed, careful not to wake Jane, and stepped into her shower thinking about how she could help. Was she really going to play the amnesia card? She didn't really think so, if Jane hadn't wanted to, well in essence come out, she would have kept quiet, even when drunk. But why had Jane kept quiet all these years? She had to have known that Maura herself had dangled into the Sapphic world. She was the first to say that sexuality was fluid so why hadn't Jane talked to her. Was she that scared?

As she rinsed her hair and finished her shower a frightening thought grabbed her. Would Jane really sacrifice her entire life just to please her mother?

Jane slowly opened her eyes but immediately closed then again, the sun light feeling like tiny daggers trying to pry her brain out. What the hell did I drink last night? She swayed a bit as she sat up trying to get her baring before she glanced over at her night stand where a glass of water and two suspicious looking pills were laying alongside a brief note.

I'm sure you're feeling a bit hung over right now. Take the pills, the full glass of water and try to shower before coming down for breakfast. Your Maura.

She swallowed the pills and then emptied the water before stumbling towards the bathroom, a towel and some clothes were already on the hanger waiting for her. She undressed what little she had on before entering the shower. What happened last night? I came over, we had dinner and talked about Cas… Oh shit, dinner. She suddenly remembered her fish and how she played with it. Oh God, what did I do? As the water cascaded down on her skin her thought became clearer and clearer and she remembered every word she said until suddenly she drew a blank. The game was finished and they were heading to bed then blank.

She dried herself quickly before she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror, really looked at herself. She was rather pleased with her body; maybe her breasts could be a bit fuller but her slender figure and long legs more than made up for that. She continued to stare at herself while she brushed her teeth needing to get that foul taste out. Casey wasn't really a foreplay-kinda-man, sure he fondled her a bit but he never really took the time to feel her and play with her. Maybe that had something to do with him always being in a hurry but she missed it. Her nipples pebbled as she continued to stare at them, she wasn't turned on, not really, she just wished that the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with showed her that he loved her body.

She finished brushing her teeth and rinsed a couple of times before looking up to see that she was presentable when it suddenly dawned on her; I told Maura I was gay.

"Jane, just in time for breakfast, a greasy non-nourishing breakfast", she looked away as she finished, "which I'm sure you'll like."

"Oh, Maura", she stared at the room, "you cleaned."

She remembered the many bottles that she had drank and hadn't put away.

"I'm so so sorry for yesterday. I like fish. I really do, I was just not myself," she smiled at Maura before she finished, "clearly."

Maura didn't really know how to answer so instead she sat down and began pouring coffee in two cups.

"Or maybe you were? Jane, I don't really…"

"No, let's eat."

Jane pushed forward and gingerly sat down opposite Maura and began shoveling food into her mouth. She was embarrassed and didn't know what to say.

"It's okay if…" she tried again, "if you ask I'll answer, maybe, I just can't talk, like telling, you know. But if you ask then I'll answer. Okay?" She gazed at Maura.

"I'm okay, you know I'm not messed up or depressed. I'm good, fine really. I shouldn't have said anything, really. I'm all good."

"Are you really going to marry Casey?" She bit her lip. That was not what she was going to say, absolutely not, but her mouth didn't seem to agree with her.

"You can't marry him if you don't love him… Which you don't. It's not fair to you. You can't spend the rest of your life with him only to be miserable. And, and, it's not fair to him. Statistically speaking you'll get a divorce within a year. Do you really want that?"

Jane stared down at her plate.

"I don't know. No, not really."

"Talk to me Jane," Maura sighed, "please. Why didn't you tell me?"

Jane took a mouthful of bacon and a sip of coffee pondering the question. Why hadn't she told Maura?

"I don't know. It's just; I've hidden this for so long that I didn't consciously decide not to tell you. It has never come up and there has been no need. Casey's always been away so I didn't really have an active relationship with him. And, I've never been that clingy or sexual active so I didn't feel the need to talk to anybody about it. Casey's proposal", she couldn't help a mirthful laugh, "ultimatum really, put everything out there. Of course he told ma he'd asked me. She is ecstatic, not really believing I might say no."

Maura could believe that. Angela probably wouldn't even consider that Jane might not want to marry.

"Are you going to?"

"No." She watched Maura almost drop the cup. "I mean I don't think so. I'm over thirty now, time to settle down. I could do worse."

"You told me you're gay, Jane. Gay. You cannot marry Casey."

Jane stood up and paced.

"It's not that easy to just declare. I'm not out and proud. No one, no one knows. I don't want to be that stereotype that chose law enforcement because she was a dyke. You've never been drawn to another woman, never felt that shame of not being normal, never grown up in a somewhat religious home. You don't know."

Maura stood up as well making her way towards Jane.

"Of course I've been drawn to females. I've told you. I fall in love with a person not a sex. And Jane, stereotype, really? Would you really allow all those Crowes out there to get you? Are you going to hide because you are afraid of how you're perceived? And Angela? She's a lot more modern then you give her credit for."

Mauro drank the last of her coffee before she finished off.

"It's the twenty-first century. Who cares about sexual orientation, Jane?"

Jane watched Maura watch her. Was it really that simple?

"I guess that's why I didn't feel a relief when I told you. People always say that once you admit it you feel lighter. I feel the same, not really different from yesterday."

"You wouldn't have told me if you didn't want to come out Jane. No matter how much you've had to drink. The question is, what do you want to do with it now?"