Chapter 4 – Preparations part 1 (Jane)

Title: Rizzles – a 100 short ones :)

Author: Smilis

Disclaimer: No infringement intended. I own nothing I'm just borrowing the characters for my own amusement. These stories may depict two women in a sexual context and if that's not your cup of tea feel free to not read.

Summary: At the end of the game, decisions still needs to be made no matter how hard it may seem.

Rating: M

Pairing: It's going to be Rizzles (obviously) but it may take some time to actually get there. Keep in mind that Jane's only just told one person and Maura isn't there yet.

AN: A day late but hopefully this chapter, a tad bit longer than usual, will make up for that. And again, thanks for all the reviews and for the ones following my story, get new email alerts like every day. It makes me very happy and this chapter is therefore for all of you lovely readers.

Oh… I did promise that this chapter would be Family dinner but I had an epiphany while trying to keep my eyes open at a seminar this weekend so that will have to keep for a chapter or two. And also, it's not realistic to think that Jane's not been with a woman since she's known forever, so there will be some flashbacks in this chapter or the next. Just keep in mind that endgame is always, always Rizzles! And, it's been a long time since I was a teenager fumbling about for the first time so forgive me if it's not perfect.

How you enjoy this…

"Three hours before dinner, just time to make it perfect" Angela made quick work of parking the car before getting all the groceries out of the Prius and skipping across the yard to the front door.

"I'm home" she yelled as she opened the door not wanting to interrupt another argument. She crossed the room and put her bags on the counter before she turned around and hugged her daughter not able to contain her happiness.

"I love you Janie"

Jane looked horrified at her mother's declaration. She was not a hugger and she had trouble expressing her feelings out in the opened. "Ma, please"

"I'm just happy Jane. Like real happy about you finally coming clean." Angela said as she began sorting out the bags.

"You don't have to shout it out tonight, maybe just a small announcement? It's not like we didn't suspect it?

Jane stared at her mother, dumbfounded beginning to work up a sweat. "Whaa? What do you mean you know? How long? When? How? What?" Jane's hands shook as she began backtracking towards the stairs.

"Oh, Janie, I've always known. You didn't hide it very well. Okay, I didn't understand Agent Dean but I guess it makes sense know. Besides, I overheard you when I grabbed the keys." She paused before she picked up again, "Frankie asked me about you when he was in high school. He was so cute."

Angela smiled fondly when she remembered Frankie asking if you always stayed with you first love, if Jane and Casey would be together forever. He liked Casey and hoped he could always play with him. Yes Frankie she had answered him. They belong together. And now some odd years later it came true, of course Frankie wouldn't really play with Casey any longer but she could see a strong friendship between them.

"He asked about first loves; if you always stayed with them. I had to tell him no of course, that sometimes accidents happen, things we can't prevent. But sometimes you could, sometimes you ended up with your first love." She looked over at Maura wanting to include her in their conversation and as she continued she blinked at Maura.

"Of course he falls in love quickly but maybe a strong woman could help him settle down."

Jane was hyperventilating and felt the walls close in on her. Her entire life and for nothing.

"Why? Why didn't you tell me you knew?" she asked upset as she took a step up having reached the stairs. She looked over at Maura trying to get some strength but Maura was staring at Angela with wide eyes. She didn't wait for the answer as she turned around and dashed up the stairs.

Five minutes later she was back and the only things changed was the fact that Angela was trying to chat up a rather stunned blonde ME.

"I'm heading out. Running. Need to clear my head. Yes. Be back for dinner." She mumbled as she half ran half walked to the front door. "Maybe" she added as an afterthought.

Ma knows. My mother knows I'm gay and she didn't flip out. Jane sat on the porch tying her shoes. Her body was full of adrenaline and she couldn't shake the feeling that she had wasted her entire life on nothing. Keeping something inside because of her mother and she knew. She knew!

She took off at full speed and almost instantly her eyes began to water. Did her brother really suspect anything that early on? She continued her furious pace as she recalled her first sexual encounter. Her very first and then she knew.

"Frankie, what are you hiding?" Jane teased her kid brother when he made a mad run from the front door up to his room. He was just a kid and it was her job to keep him from bad things. Her mother said so and she took that very seriously, at least when it suited her and right now she was bored. She ran up after him and nailed him to the wall easily picking out what he had hid.

"Frankie, Frankie, a magazine?" She looked him over before she became serious and walked him towards his bed. "Why?"

"The other boys at school said I had to. That I had to become a man, a real man that I had to try it so they gave me this." He looked scared that his big sister had caught him; he knew he had done something wrong he just didn't know exactly what, but he trusted her. "Jane, what is it that I have to try?"

If he hadn't been so serious Jane would have laughed but even if she knew what he was refereeing to she was almost just about as clueless as him. Being raised in a somewhat religious household had its downside she thought.

"Nothing. Did you look? Never mind. Frankie, you're just too young for this. If ma and pa ever find out they'll kill us." She looked her brother in the eyes. "In a couple of years, you'll figure it out but it's too soon now. Okay?"

"Okay" Frankie gazed at Jane clearly not understanding, "but if I don't figure it out? Can I ask you then?"

Jane sighed, "I know you'll regret ever asking me this but okay, yes, I'll explain it. Then, not now"

She grabbed the magazine intent on throwing it away but her curiosity got the better of her and she closed her own door before jumping on top of her bed and opened it. The first page was filled with a fully naked blonde and she couldn't keep her eyes away. She knew she should close it and be done with it but that blonde was beautiful and her breasts were gorgeous. The next page was a close up on the blonde's breasts and she felt a tingling feeling and not knowing where it came from she tightened her thighs feeling it both growing and disappearing. She reached up and caressed the blonde's breasts.

"Wow, so beautiful."

She took off her top and went to stand in front of the full mirror her mother had insisted every girl should have. She watched the woman's breasts again, zeroing in on her hard nipples and then she slowly touched her left nipple. The sensations were overwhelming and it pebbled instantly. The tingling feeling was back and before she thought twice about it she squeezed her nipple harder only to hear herself gasp. She put the magazine down and stared at herself in the mirror watching both her nipples harden. She carefully caressed them and as the sensation grew she tightened her hold even more. When she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore she took a breath suddenly having felt dizzy before she picked up the magazine, locked her door and went over to her bed again.

She turned another page and this had her gasp at its content; the same blonde spread wide open on a table and she just had to touch. She reached up with her trembling fingers very gently caressing the blonde's center. The sensation, which she now had located, was threatening to overtake her and her hips rose up on their own accord. She was afraid to touch herself "there" but she needed something so she turned over grabbed her pillow and stuffed it between her legs to try and quell the sudden throbbing she felt. Her jeans seemed to melt perfectly into the pillow and she rolled her hips in a desperate attempt to free herself of this ache that was consuming her. She turned another paged and her eyes budged out as she looked at the same blonde sitting on a chair with a brunette on top of her licking her nipples. She could no longer control her hips and she felt as she was swimming trying to reach the surface but never finding it. Her breath was growing thin and she begged for something she didn't understand. "Please, help me."

She managed to turn another page and when she saw the brunette's tongue on the blonde's center she rose up fully on her arms as her hips surged down and she collapsed breathing heavy feeling as she was drowning.

Some time later she heard the door opening downstairs and she hurried to hide the magazine and put her top back on. Later that night as she looked through it she was positive she was never going to allow a man to put "that thing" in her, not when she could have such a beautiful blond to look at.

Jane was sweating as she was nearing her apartment. That recollection along with her running had her breathing hard. I definitely need to get laid she thought as she run up the stairs and opened her door. A moment later she opened her memory box staring at the same magazine she had masturbated to for the very first time. It was a precious memory and she had been about to throw it away many times but something always stopped her. As she looked at the magazine another paper caught her attention. The letter. Oh God, it's still here. The letter.

"Ma, can Sandy stay over tonight?" An almost seventeen year old Jane was happy. Her girlfriend of almost two years had said she wanted to do something special tonight and Jane was ecstatic. She wasn't exactly sure what that meant since they already had made love and she couldn't think of anything that could beat that. She had to be careful of course her parents could never find out and Casey acted as a buffer for her, not that he knew that but she couldn't begin to think about his feelings, not when her own were threatening to spill right out of her chest.

"Of course sweetie but I thought you were spending the night with Casey?

"No, ma, tonight's Sandy's night."

"Okay that's find but remember that we won't be home until late so don't forget to eat something."

"Okay ma. Thanks."

Later that night, after they had dinner, Sandy stood up and indicated for Jane to follow her to her room.

"I wanted us to be here since I hope this leads to some special time" Sandy giggled a bit with every word. "Jane, I love you. I know everything is not perfect and we'll have a hard time but I want you to know that I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know we're young I just want you to know how I feel."

Jane stared openmouthed at Sandy. "I love you too, Sandy. So much"

Jane kissed Sandy as she caressed her backside trying to get more skin.

"Jane, please," Sandy said as she backed away. "I want to, you know."

Jane laughed. "Of course, I want that to."

"No, I mean yes but I want to touch you." Sandy took a deep breath. "Like feel you inside, be inside of you."

"Oh" They hadn't done that before. "Okay"

Sandy stepped forward and kissed Jane hard. In no time at all they had both undressed and lay on the bed breathing hard. Jane slowly ran her tongue over Sandy's nipples, playing and nipping. She loved Sandy's breasts.

"I love your breasts" she squeezed out in between licks. She would be happy just licking these perfect breasts forever and as she continued to do so she let her hand creep downward until she felt a small thatch of fine hairs. Sandy was wet, really wet. So was she.

Sandy, together, okay?"

She felt Sandy's fingers ease inside her folds gently caressing her sensitive skin before circling over her entrance. She couldn't help but feel a bit apprehensive but she wanted this to so she did the same, slowly circling Sandy's opening until she felt she would burst.

"I'm ready" she whispered to Sandy and she felt her nod against her neck.

Together the slowly entered each other a little bit at a time. When Jane was fully inside Sandy she paused wanting her to get comfortable with the feeling of her fingers inside her. If Sandy felt anything like she did right now all she wanted to do was hump the fingers to try and get that release. But she wanted to go slow.

"Jane, don't move. I won't last then." Sandy piped out as she also came to a standstill with her fingers deep inside Jane.

"This feels amazing. I can feel you all around my fingers. Kiss me, Jane."

Jane shifted so she was almost fully on top of Sandy before she kissed her. She raised her knees slightly to leave better room for movement. As she did so Sandy's fingers slipped out of her as her own fingers went even deeper and she couldn't contain a load moan.

"Again" she breathed, "inside again". She slowly eased her fingers out of Sandy before sliding them in again in an agonizing slow pace at the same time feeling Sandy doing the same to her.

"Sandy I'm gonna come real soon. I'm not gonna be able to last." Jane whispered before she kissed her again and again and again.

"Me too Jane, me too."

Jane felt Sandy quickening her pace and she did the same almost instantly feeling the orgasm welling up upon her. She rolled her hips a bit to help with the pace and she felt Sandy doing the same under her.

"Are you ready?" Jane whispered, her hair clinging to her face as her movements were getting heavier and she was on the brink.

"Yes" Sandy whispered back. "Thumbs okay? Together?"

"Okay" Jane breathed out as she moved her thumb over to Sandy's clit and gently massaged it while easing her finger in and out. She rolled her hips even more as she felt Sandy's thumb on her and a second later when she heard Sandy voice her name and felt her squeezing her fingers she spiraled into her own orgasm feeling more complete that ever before.

A few minutes later when they had calmed down Sandy uttered the words that eventually lead to a letter.

"I want you to tell your parents."

Jane was crying as she looked at the letter. Why hadn't she been able to stand up and tell her parents who she was? She was a coward. She was a coward then and she was a coward now. And no matter how much her mother knew, it was still too late, Sandy was still dead. Even now, years later she still felt responsible for her death.

AN: Thanks for reading. Hope it was to your satisfaction.

Tomorrow – Let's have a look at how the preparations for family dinner go at Maura's. Will Maura find out in time to stop Jane from making the announcement?