Author: Smilis

Disclaimer: No infringement intended. I own nothing I'm just borrowing the characters for my own amusement. These stories may depict two women in a sexual context and if that's not your cup of tea feel free to not read.

Summary: Jane finally admits the truth about herself to Maura – what happens then?

Rating: M

AN: Really really late with this update but I spent most of my week in mourning due to a funeral this wednesday. But, I'm hoping I'm all cried out now and up for updating every day again. My workload is also a bit easier this week so I'll try to catch up a bit since I'm like 10 chapter or so behind.

Anyway, hope you enjoy this and please review saying it sucked or that you liked it. Thanks.

A big thank you to those who have PM'd and reviewed before. Love you!

Chapter 5 – Preparations part 2 (Maura's house)

"Looks like it's just you and me now", Angela smiled at Maura, "as it should be when it comes to family dinner." Angela loved these special times she had with Maura, not just because it gave her a perfect opportunity to question her about Jane but because she genuinely loved Maura as her own daughter.

Maura stared at the door where Jane had disappeared out and felt her heart ache for her friend. She turned towards Angela and watched her as she first poured them both a glass of red before starting dinner. She enjoyed spending time with Angela even if she sometimes had a habit of questioning her about Jane but right now she felt trapped and felt the urge to flee even as she smiled back at Angela and grabbed her glass.

"Could you spend your life with a detective Maura? With the uncertainty of not knowing? Long nights?"

Maura gasped. Was Angela asking her if she could spend her life with Jane? She sipped her wine as she thought about it. They did have a relationship in all aspects of the word except physically. It wouldn't be that much of a leap to cross but Jane was straight; at least she had thought so. How on earth had Angela known?

"I'm an ME, Angela, chances are I'll get called to the same crime scenes and I do know something about living with a detective. Jane spends more time here with me than she does at home," she took another sip, "Jo already has her basket here and she doesn't think twice about sleeping on the bed so I'd say I'm already living with a detective."

"Good, good." Angela was a bit giddy. The more she thought about it the more she knew that Maura and Frankie would be perfect for each other.

"You'd be perfect for each other. You're already family Maura but I'd love to have you as a daughter-in-law." She picked up her own glass and took a small sip of her wine before she continued slicing the onions she had grabbed.

"Daughter-in-law?" Maura managed to keep her wine from spilling but her head was suddenly filled with images of weddings. She shook her, she had entertained a thought or two about Jane during the years but she never thought it would actually happen and now Angela was talking about the two of them getting married. This was too much too soon. And neither of them was out yet.

"I know it's too soon but I'm just so happy. Finally everything is coming together. And I just know you'd be great with each other."

Maura felt dizzy, something she normally didn't. She always had an answer to every question but now she felt dizzy. Everything had happened so fast and yet nothing had happened. And how did Angela know?

"How did you know?"

"Know what? Oh, you mean Jane? It all started when we came home late one night. Jane had her best friend Sandy over and we overheard an argument between them." Angela put the final touch to the lasagna before she put it in the oven and set the timer. All she had left to do was salad, set the plates and arrange the seating, after all this was a special occasion.

"Sandy?" Jane had never told her anything about a Sandy, lots of things about her youth but never about a Sandy.

"Yes. Her best friend. Sad thing really. Frank and I came home early one night and caught them arguing over Casey. I thought it was just the normal teenage quarrel about who gets the boy but apparently it went deeper than that.

"Jane, it's not going to get easier. I don't want you to hide this any longer. Casey is all over you at school. How do you think that makes me feel? And then your parents?" Sandy was getting louder and louder trying to get her point across.

Their evening had started out so sweet with dinner and lovemaking and now it had turned into a full blown argument.

"I can't tell them, not yet. You know that. I just can't. I'm sorry. I want to, I really do but I'm scared. Your parents are liberal; they love you just the same but mine? They're Catholics. Catholics Sandy! They'll send me to church. And I know I should have told Casey off but how without telling him the truth? And ma really likes Casey."

"Well then maybe you should be with Casey then," Sandy gathered her things, "you know then you don't have to hide it all. Easy, right?"

"Sandy wait, I'll talk to them, I will, soon just give me some time. Telling them will be like saying I'm dropping school and immigrating to, I don't know, India? Jane smiled at Sandy to lighten the mood.

"Please, I'll really think about it but I need some more time. We've kept it quiet for so long now and it's not like its showing."

Sandy dropped her things and sighed. "Jane, we've known each other four years. You know everything about my family and me. My parents love you. Is it really too much to ask that you at least talk to Casey. We can't keep coming back to him every time we argue. Please talk to him, tell him the truth. And talk to your parents. I want you to talk to them, tell them the truth."

"Three weeks later Sandy was found dead in her room having committed suicide. Had I known when I went to get the mail that day that she had done that, I never would have given Jane that letter. I still don't know what it said but it took a long time for Jane to get over Sandy's death."

Angela had tears in her eyes. It was a long time ago since she thought about those tragic events but it felt good to talk about it. She had never mentioned the full story to Frank and despite it being years ago she still felt sad when she thought about it. Jane really had gone through too much in her life.

Maura slowly sat down and sipped her wine. She wanted to know what had happened and she knew Jane would never tell her but asking Angela about it was betraying her trust. Oh Jane, Sandy was your first, wasn't she?

"What happened, Angela? I need to know, please."

Angela put her hand over Maura's and sat down all her energy suddenly leaving her. Maybe it was time to tell someone else, to ease the burden she still felt when she thought about those times.

"After Sandy's death Jane spent a lot of time away from home. I tried to help her but she refused to even talk to me. Three months later, Jane came home drunk one night and when I yelled at her she simply said she'd had an abortion made and could I please shut up because her head hurt."

Jane was on a roll. Nothing could take away the pain, except a bottle of beer or five. And good old Casey was always there to help her home. She had to give him credit; he had been patient with her, understanding that she was mourning her best friend. She wanted to scream at him that Sandy was so much more but what was the point anyway. And he bought her beers and there really was only one way to thank him. So over the course of the three months she had slept with him on a numerous occasions. It hurt every time but that hurt helped ease the ache she felt. He got what he wanted and she got what she wanted.

She hadn't thought about protection, she didn't need that with Sandy so it came as a surprise when the school nurse told her she was pregnant after her fainting spell in English class.

"Pregnant? I can't be pregnant? I've only slept with S…" Jane stopped abruptly and turned around to leave not bothering to check if the nurse was finished with her or not. She ran outside, out from the school grounds and continued on until she saw the cemetery. She hadn't been back since after the funeral feeling like she didn't have that right but now she entered and in a mad dash made her way over to Sandy's final resting place. She stared at the stone before she sat down next to it. She couldn't keep her tears at bay and they slowly made their way down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She rocked back and forth trying to console herself but the more she rocked the louder her sobs were.

"I didn't mean it, Sandy. I'll tell my parents just please come back. I'll tell everybody. Come back." She leaned back at the headstone trying to catch her breath.

"I slept with Casey," she put her hand on the ground grasping the small stones and dirt she found making her hand almost hurt," I didn't mean to I just needed to not feel anymore." Her sobs lessened but the tears were still trekking down her checks.

"He got me beer. I didn't think twice about drinking it and then he said he could get me more if I needed, and I did, I do. It doesn't hurt when I drink. You left me Sandy. You left me and I'm drinking and sleeping with Casey just to try and get by every day." Her hands rasped harder in the dirt beneath her.

"He didn't force me or anything, just hinted, you know like telling me he got beer for me and what did I do for him? But he was kind and patient. She continued to dig deeper into the ground with her bare hands.

"But it hurt Sandy. So much. I never wanted to do it again but then he got more beer and I thought what the heck, it doesn't mean anything." She looked up to make sure she was still alone. "I'm pregnant Sandy." She let out a sound, half laughing, half sobbing.

"My parents… I couldn't tell them I'm gay. How am I gonna tell them I'm pregnant and that I won't keep it? What is worse? Gay or pregnant? Pregnant or gay? I'm such a screw up."

Some time later she stood up and dried her hands on her trousers. "I'll get better Sandy. No more drinking and no more Casey. And I'll tell them," she stood watching the headstone silently, "even if it's too late now."

"When I asked about the pregnancy she told me she'd found a local doctor who made it happened with no questions asked and then she told me that she'd been drinking a lot but that this was it. It was time to move on." Angela was emotional tired and in just over an hour the family would show up.

"I thought for sure that was it between Casey and her but six months later they became official and late one night when they thought we were sleeping I overheard Casey telling Jane that he was gonna marry her one day and that if she wanted, they could even name one of their kids Sandy. I didn't hear Jane's reply just her crying." She stood up and made her way to the cupboards to get the plates down. "And that's when I knew that love conquers everything and that Casey really was Jane's soul mate."

Maura stared in disbelief at Angela, she too had tears running down her face but all she thought about was Jane.

"Casey? Soul mate?"

"Yes of course. I've told him to propose tonight at family dinner so we all can congratulate them after. Strawberries and champagne for dessert. I even invited Sean so he can start plan for her to be on maternity leave soon." Angela grabbed the plates and started to set the table not noticing Maura's horrified look.

"And once you and Frankie get know each other a little bit better the entire family is set. You and Frankie will be a perfect match. Here…", she gave Maura the final plates as she started to write names on small papers, "we'll have seating arrangements tonight so Casey and Jane are in the center and you and Frankie next to each other.

Maura didn't have time to object because the door suddenly opened and Frankie, Tommy and Jane entered with two cases of beer between them.

"Ma, Jane told me so we brought beer. It's gonna be needed right?

AN: So what did you think? Up next got to be the conversation during dinner and maybe a proposal or a coming out scene. Haven't really made up my mind yet.