War is delicate. There is a thin balance within the rise and fall of those who die and those who survive. Neither side ahead, both behind. Fighting, killing, praying, and hoping. Sometimes, just enough to make one side more dangerous. Then there is the hating, the burn of rage and rashness of anger. Sometimes, this makes one side more dangerous. The moon and the sun, the stars and the black holes, the hope and the hate; all converging into a cycle of life that goes back and forth infinitely.
Resistance and hope, First Order and hate….could one side really be more deadly, more dangerous, more ready for sacrifice? Was there none ready to just exist? Ah, the beauty and rareness of life so freely given.
Finn found the constellation that was Poe Dameron the most beautiful of all. The stardust that fell in his eyes and stood there, the gold in his brown hair caught from a sun he flew too close to. The greatness in his voice caught from the sighs between stars. Finn wished he had written down all the things he loved about Poe, all the moments that snapshotted into the universe, the things he said that would help him navigate the solar system of his fragmented mind.
It was like every time he went to write these things down, there wasn't anything to write with. He'd give anything to hear Poe's voice telling him those things over again. Things like "I love you" and "I'll never leave you". Those were his favorite.
"I hope you remember me, Finn. You're a great man. I love you-" he was cut off by the pain of the wound given to him by the last attempt Kylo Ren took to kill them. He was dead now, thanks to a crushing blow from Rey.
"You gave me the courage of the stars, Poe. I love you too." Finn said to a dead Poe. He bent over, ignoring the pain from war and got to his knees, and then rested against one of the few remaining trees on the battlefield, holding Poe's body to his barely alive one.
"Oh Poe," he coughed up blood, "you loved me so much, and helped me gather all parts of myself, the stars that made up my soul. And through you I connected the dots of my constellation and created myself the way I wanted to be." He spoke haltingly through silent tears now falling. He looked up at the sky and saw it began to rain. He was jealous of the rain, how pure and simple it seemed.
"At least, you helped me know who I'm not." A sad smile. "I made my chaos count. I made my messes matter." He let the tears flow freely now, every piece of his shattered heart and body calling out loud.
What Poe didn't know was that even though he jumped between Finn and Ren, his lightsaber still mortally wounded Finn. His final act of love and selflessness was not a loss or for nothing. The universe accepted two new masses of stardust, one the color caramel and warmth, the other the color of evening sunsets and misty mornings, twisting and meshing together.
Oh how rare and beautiful it truly is to exist.