Chapter 3

Patamon

TK stared at the ground the whole way home. He smiled at me when I landed on his head, but it seemed forced.

"TK, what's wrong?" I asked once we were far enough away from the school.

He sighed. "How could I have just let Kari leave with that guy? We know nothing about him."

"Then why didn't you walk her home?"

He didn't answer right away, and when he did, I barely heard him, "I'm just going to end up hurting her."

"TK, what are you talking about? You'd never hurt her."

A distant look took over his eyes. "I already am."

I flew in front of him, forcing him to look at me. "Then, you need to do something about it rather than make the situation worse."

He nodded. "I guess you're right."

I smiled. "Good. Gatomon and I don't like seeing you guys like this."

He didn't say anything else on the way home, but he had picked up his pace. A new look of determination took over his features. Finally, maybe things would go back to normal.

Kari

Walking home with Malik seemed a bit weird, at first, but it wasn't long before we became immersed in conversation and the weird feeling started to go away. He talked about his old school and his old friends, and I smiled and laughed at the stories he told. The pain I felt earlier lingered, but it was getting better.

"So, do you have to be home right away?" Malik had stopped walking in front of a little café.

I shook my head. "No, why?"

"Want to grab a drink or something? I haven't been here before."

I nodded. "Ok. Sure."

We went inside, and I hung my bag on the back of a chair. "I'll be right back. Take your time."

I went to the bathroom, using that time to freshen up. Part of me wished I was here with TK, but that part wasn't as big as I thought it would've been. He made his decision, and now I made mine. I wasn't going to let his indifference get to me. When he was ready to talk, I would listen, but until then, I wouldn't let him ruin anything else for me.

I left the bathroom and found Malik waiting for me. "Know what you want? I'll order."

I nodded. "Just lemonade." I rooted through my bag and pulled out some money.

He shook his head. "It's on me."

"Are you sure?" I wasn't used to people paying for me, except for Tai and my parents.

He nodded. "What kind of guy wouldn't pay for a pretty girl's drink?"

A light blush crept across my face. For the last couple years, I had had several guys who found me attractive, but of course it was always the guys I didn't want. Maybe Malik would be different. Maybe I could fall for him and stop obsessing over TK.

He came back to the table with our drinks and sat down. He handed me mine and I thanked him.

"My pleasure," he said. He placed his hand over mine, and something stirred inside me. TK was the only one who had ever gotten this intimate with me as far as the opposite sex was concerned. "You know, I'd kill to have someone as good as you in my life. TK's an idiot for treating you like he does."

I cracked a smile. "We can be friends, and you won't have to kill anyone for me."

He continued holding my hand, but I pulled it away after a few seconds as a nauseous feeling took over me and TK's face filled my mind. We weren't a couple, but somehow I felt like I was doing something wrong.

We finished our drinks and then Malik walked me home. He continued to tell me about where he was from, and I forced myself to pay attention to him and not my inner turmoil. When we reached my house, we lingered in the doorway. I looked in his eyes, and he was looking at me, too, like he wanted to do more than just talk. Then, he leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. I closed my eyes. The negative thoughts stopped, at least for a moment. Like the waves crashing against the shore had subsided. The ocean . . .

I took a step back. "I need to get inside. Thank you again, Malik."

I closed the door behind me before he could say anything. Gatomon had snuck in through my window and was waiting for me. She looked at me curiously.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I shook my head. "It's nothing."

TK

On the way home, I had sent Kari a message saying to call me when she got home, but she didn't. I called her house later on and Tai answered, saying she had gone to bed early. I was at least glad she made it home okay, but now it seemed she was ignoring me. I deserved that.

I lay awake all night. Patamon slept quietly beside me, leaving me alone with my thoughts. What if my apology was too late? What if she already replaced me with that Malik guy? Could someone she had known for years be replaced by someone she just met today?

But, maybe she should replace me, to some degree. Like Malik had said, she deserves someone who won't hurt her, and that's all I seem to be able to do lately, and probably all I'd do in the future.

Since I didn't get any sleep, I got up early and headed out before sunrise, hoping to catch Kari before she got to school. I was careful not to wake Patamon. This was between Kari and me, and I didn't want to drag him and Gatomon into this more than I had to. I knocked on the door, and Tai answered.

He was still in pajamas, which wasn't a surprise, and he didn't seem too happy to see me. Had Kari told him something?

"Hey, Tai, is Kari here?"

He nodded. "She's here, but she doesn't want to talk to you."

Soft footsteps came from behind him, and a slender hand rested on Tai's shoulder. "Relax. It's okay."

With some reluctance, he stepped aside. Kari stood before me, already looking like she was ready to go to school.

I spent all night thinking about what I was going to say, but it all seemed stupid now that I was face to face with her. She didn't seem mad at me, but I couldn't read her expression at all.

"TK, what is it?"

I stepped back and she stepped forward, closing the door behind her.

I shouldn't have come here. I should've just met her at school. Why did I come here?

The memory of her walking home with Malik entered my mind. That was why.

She just kept looking at me with those big, brown eyes. They used to be a comfort for me, but lately . . .

I turned away. "Kari, what I wanted to say is . . . I don't know what to say." Smooth, really smooth, TK.

"You could start by explaining why you barely talked to me all summer, or why you kept avoiding me yesterday."

I sighed. "I'm sorry if anything I said or did hurt you. I never thought I would do that. I just don't know what to do anymore."

She placed her hand on my shoulder, and a wave of warmth washed over me the way only her touch could.

"It's okay. Just promise me it won't happen again."

She made it sound easy, like I could just say "okay" and everything would go back to the way it used to be, but I knew better.

"I can't. I wish I could, but I can't."

I turned back to her and she dropped her hand. "Oh. Then, why did you come here if you didn't want things to go back to normal? Why did you want to apologize for something you're going to continue doing?"

Because I'm an idiot. That's why. "I don't want to keep doing it." I raked my hand through my hair. "Something's going on with me, Kari. I can't think straight. I just need space to get my head together. Only then can I trust myself not to hurt you anymore."

"TK, let me help you. You know I'm here for you," she pleaded. "You don't have to do this by yourself."

"I need to do this myself, Kari. You can't help me with this." I took a deep breath. "I just need some time to myself. When I'm ready, I'll come to you."

I thought I had worded it well. I thought maybe she would understand.

She took a step back. "You're not the only one dealing with things right now, TK, but I'd never shut you out, and what hurts the most is that you apparently don't trust me as much as I trust you."

"It's not that." Without thinking, I touched her cheek. She looked at me with tear-filled brown eyes, and a pang of guilt shot through me. The whole point in me coming here was so she would stop crying. I really shouldn't have come.

She pushed my hand off her face. "I just . . . want you to know that, in spite of everything, I could never shut you out. I'll always be here for you, even if you're not here for me."

"Kari, that's not what I meant." I groaned. "You're not understanding this at all."

"What's not to understand?" she asked. "I get it. You're going to continue not talking to me and hiding things from me. But, tell me something. Was it your new girlfriend who changed you?"

I tensed. "How did you find out?"

"People talk." She looked away from me. "It's okay. She must mean a lot to you if you let her change you this much."

"No one changed me," I said. "And she's not my girlfriend. We went on a few dates, but that was it. It didn't work out."

She looked up at me again. "So, this is all you?"

Pain shot through my chest, but I managed a nod. "Kari, I just can't be a good friend to you right now. Please, understand that."

She turned around. "Thank you for finally talking to me instead of continuing to avoid me. You saved me some grief."

She went back inside before I could respond, closing the door behind her. I stood there, dumbstruck for a moment, and then something hit the back of my head. I winced, grabbing my head, as Gatomon landed in front of me.

"That was for Kari who is too nice to slap you," she said. "Kari has done nothing but worry about you and think about you since you left, and this is how you treat her? Every day, I had to listen to her talk about how much she missed you and that she couldn't wait until you returned. She doesn't deserve this."

I looked off to the side. "I know she doesn't. Take care of her, Gatomon. Don't let anyone else hurt her."

I walked away, ignoring Gatomon as she yelled for me to come back. I couldn't stay here, though.

Kari wasn't in school that day. I'd never seen her ditch school before, and I felt even guiltier.

This whole thing started because I couldn't kiss another girl without thinking about her. I couldn't see that problem going away anytime soon regardless of how much I talked to her, or how much I didn't talk to her. But, I wasn't lying. I did need time to figure out how I actually felt about her, and I had to do that on my own.

I stared at her empty seat in last period, trying to imagine she was there. I missed her. I missed talking to her. Did I do the right thing? I really didn't know anymore.

After school, I didn't go straight home. I wandered onto the soccer field where Tai's team was practicing. As soon as he saw me, he ran toward me.

"What did you say to Kari?" he demanded. "She just went straight to her room this morning and started crying and she wouldn't come out."

"I know. I'm sorry, Tai." I stared at the ground. Looking into his eyes was impossible when he was like this. "I'll try to talk to her. I don't want to leave her like that."

"I wouldn't, TK. You did enough damage."

I didn't listen to him. Instead, I headed straight for her house, only stopping long enough to pick up her favorite ice cream from the convenience store. Even if I couldn't make her feel better, maybe this would.

When I got closer to her house, I thought about what I was walking into. Would she still be upset? Would she answer the door? Would she send me away? Or, would she be happy to see me? A million possibilities floated through my head, but I did my best to push them away.

I took a deep breath then knocked on her door. Seconds felt like hours before the door finally opened. To my surprise, Kari wasn't on the other side.

I blinked, sure I had to be seeing things, but I wasn't. "Malik? What are you doing here?"

"Dropping off Kari's schoolwork that she missed," he answered. "She doesn't want to see you."

My hands clenched at my side. This guy was really starting to bug me. "I'd rather hear that from her."

He stepped forward, closing the door behind him. "You broke her heart. She can't stand you. Can't say I blame her. So, why don't you get out of here and admit that you missed your one and only chance with her?"

My hands curled into fists. "You're wrong. She'd never say that. Now let me talk to her."

I tried to get around him, but he shoved me. I stumbled back a few steps and glared at him. "Let me see her!"

"Take a hint and admit it, TK. If she wanted to talk to you, she would have been out here already."

I glared at him. One day. He had known her for one day. Did Kari know he was doing this? She couldn't have.

"Kari!" I yelled her name, hoping she would hear me.

Malik slammed the door in my face. I stood there for a minute, anxiously waiting for Kari to re-open it. A few minutes passed, and she never did.

Patamon came out of my bag, looking as perplexed as I felt.

"It'll be alright, TK. She's not going to replace you that easily."

I didn't say anything, refusing to give a voice to my thoughts. Instead, I stuffed my hands into my pockets and walked away.

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