A/N: Thank you to all of my reviewers! You guys have really made me happy during a trying time. Now for the bad news. This is the last update you may be getting for a while. My foster dog had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, at only 2 years old, and given anywhere from 2-6 weeks to live. He will be taking up a lot of my time now, and I will not have as much time to write. There is one chapter with my beta now, but beyond that I don't know how long it will be until I can update again. I will finish this story, so don't worry if the updates drop off.

Alice's POV

"That's Bella. She and Edward are in looovve." I drew out the word as long as I could, fluttering my eyelashes and laughing. Jasper smiled back at me, studying the photograph intensely.

'Intense' was actually a pretty good word for Jasper. Once he learned something, he never forgot it. At the moment, I was taking him through last year's yearbook, pointing out various people. I wanted him to have the best start possible next year, so I was helping him figure out who might be a friend, whom he needed to avoid, and who was going to look down on him because he was a foster kid.

I knew that Jasper considered these lessons worthless, as he wasn't going to be here in the fall, but I knew better. He would stay because he needed us; it was as simple as that. Now I just had to convince him of it.

We were sitting together in the overstuffed armchair in the den. Well, more accurately, I was sitting in the armchair, and Jasper was perched on the arm. It was about as close as Jasper was comfortable getting to any of us. Since he had an escape route, I was allowed to touch his side or shoulder. If he were penned in, I wasn't even allowed to do that. He was leaning against me now, seemingly content.

Jasper gave me a puzzled look, apparently wondering why I had stopped. I looked at Bella's picture again. I couldn't help but be a little jealous of her. Ever since she had started dating Edward, I felt like I was losing my best friend.

It was a terrible thing to think, especially since Bella had never been anything but nice to me. It was just that . . . well, Edward was moving on, and leaving me behind. What man would want me, once he found out I was spoiled goods? I lightly touched Bella's face, unable to prevent a sigh. "She's beautiful."

He gave a noncommittal grunt, barely glancing at the photo. "Nah, you're prettier." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he turned bright red. "I mean . . . well, yeah." He ducked his head, face still flaming.

Aw, he was so cute when he was embarrassed. A complete liar, but cute. Actually, he was all-around pretty cute. He was tall and muscular, but not quite as much as Emmett. I thought his size was perfect. He seemed more capable of protecting me than Edward, but not quite as threatening as Emmett. Sure, he was a little messed up, but so were most of us in this house. Even with his problems, I thought he was close to perfect.

Which was another reason for me to leave him alone. I knew all about his problems, but he didn't know anything about mine. How was I going to explain to him about my little memory lapses, or how often I just knew things before they happened? He was going to think I was a freak. Better to just ignore what I was starting to feel for him. "You're sweet."

He shrugged, apparently not knowing how to take the compliment. I flipped the page, preparing to drill him on whom to avoid. "Okay, that's Jessica, she's a real — "

"Alice, I need Jasper for a little while." Even when he spoke softly, Emmett could shake the walls.

No, he didn't. For the past few days, Emmett had been taking every opportunity to keep Jasper and me apart. He hadn't actually given him the "if you touch my baby sister, I'll rip your dick off" speech, thank God, but it had been close. I think Emmett has really come to like Jasper, a feeling that seems to be mutual. If I had to rank the family in Jasper's eyes, it would probably go me, Emmett, Rose, Dad, Mom, Edward. Not that he seemed to actively dislike any of us; he was just more wary with some of us than others.

Jasper gave me a questioning look, obviously torn about leaving. He seemed to be getting pretty attached to Emmett, and I didn't want to do anything to ruin that, so I gestured for him to go. He did, still trying to avoid eye contact.

As soon as they were gone, I put the yearbook down and ran upstairs. I locked myself in the bathroom and twisted in front of the full length mirror. I wanted to see just what it was that made Jasper think I was beautiful. No matter how I turned, all I saw was a girl who was too short and skinny, with pale skin and too-big eyes. My shoulders slumped as I sighed. Jasper was just being nice. There was nothing special about me.

I gave myself a mental shake for my selfish thoughts. Jasper was brought into this family to give him the best chance at a normal life, not to act as my object of lust. So he lied a little to preserve my feelings. It was kind of sweet, in a way.

Still, it would be nice if, just for once, a guy would look at me the way they all look at Rosalie. I mean, I know that she's out-of-this-world gorgeous and everything, but just once. Besides, she already has Emmett, so it's not like she needs all those other boys who insist on chasing after her.

Unsatisfied, I left the bathroom. Usually, I was fine with the thought of not having a boyfriend, but suddenly it seemed like the end of the world. Still, I wasn't given to fits of depression, and by the time I went back down the stairs, I was already planning what to do next.

So I couldn't have Jasper like I wanted. I was still his favorite person in the house, and that meant a lot. I was the one he always looked to first, no matter what the situation. I was the only one who could hug him, and he actively sought my company. Okay, so it wasn't love. But it was a bond, and could well be all Jasper was capable of giving at the moment.

The dilemma solved, at least for the moment, I bounced down the stairs. Mom would probably like some help with dinner, and it would give me a chance to be alone with her. Ever since Jasper came, she'd been spending a lot of time with him, trying to socialize him and convince him that we weren't a family of ax murderers, and it would be nice to have her to myself for a change.

She was stirring a pot of boiling noodles. "Hi, baby."

I wrapped my arms around her. "Can I help?"

"Of course. Why don't you start on the sauce?" Mom smiled gently at me as she spoke. She knew I was here for a reason, even if I didn't know what that reason was.

We worked in silence for a few minutes before she looked up at me. "So, where's your little shadow?"

I hadn't realized anyone else had noticed how closely Jasper was following me around. Through an extreme act of will, I kept my voice from squeaking. "Who, Jasper?"

"No, that other guy who's been following you around like a lost puppy. Yes, Jasper." Her words were teasing, her smile bright.

"He went outside with Emmett." Hopefully telling her that wouldn't get Emmett in trouble. You could never tell what my big brother might be up to, only that it usually resulted in something being broken or blown up.

She nodded. "Did you kick him out so we could have a little girl talk?" Her tone suggested that she thought that was exactly it.

I could feel my pale skin taking on the hue of an overripe tomato. "Why would we need to have a girl talk?" Please, God, don't let her know.

Her secretive smile suggested that she saw right through me, but she had enough grace not to mention Jasper by name. "You're a beautiful girl, Alice, and I'm sure that boys notice that."

Hardly. Boys noticed tall blondes with knockout boobs. Girls like Rosalie. They didn't notice short girls with flat chests and timid demeanors. They certainly didn't notice girls who wouldn't even let them get to second base. "Not really."

"Jasper does."

So much for hoping she didn't know. "He doesn't." I hated the small hope that rose in my stomach at her words. "He doesn't see me like a boy should see a girl. He sees me like a living security blanket."

"Do you really think so?" Much as I loved my mother, sometimes she could be annoyingly cryptic. "I think he likes you a lot."

The certainty in her voice threw me, and I thought a little harder. True, Jasper did like me a lot, but that didn't mean he liked me like a man should. He called you beautiful.

Why would he do that? With a normal person, I would have assumed it was to make me feel better. But with Jasper . . . well, I wasn't sure if he knew how to give false compliments. Which meant he really did think I was pretty. "He thinks I'm pretty."

As soon as I said the words, I knew they were true. Finally, someone who thought I was the most wonderful, beautiful person in the house. It was a heady feeling. "He does." I couldn't help but repeat myself.

Mom smiled. "Yes, he does. Jasper likes you, Alice, more than he likes the rest of us." She stopped, busying her hands with a dishtowel. "Honey, I know what a wonderful feeling it is when a boy notices you for the first time. The first time your father saw me like that . . . oh, Alice, it was magic. We had been dating for just a few weeks, not exclusively, but when I saw him sitting there in his broken-down old car, with a little bouquet of flowers he had picked for me . . . he was a student then, and couldn't afford to get me a professional arrangement . . ." Her eyes were distant, caught up in the memories.

"He worried so much that he was too poor for me, so he had the flowers tied up with a ribbon, just like a florist would have done. I never told the poor man that I knew he had picked them out of the neighbor's garden. But when I saw the way he looked at me, I didn't care if we were living underneath a bridge together. He was mine, and that was all that mattered."

"What do I do?" I was a little embarrassed to have to be asking my mother about this. Maybe I should be talking to Rose instead? She certainly knew how to get exactly what she wanted. Men worshipped the very ground she walked on, even after they found out that she was with Emmett.

She sighed. "I don't know. The circumstances here are strange at best, a disaster at worst. I love both of you, but . . ."

I knew what she was trying to avoid saying. She wanted to say that neither one of us was normal, and our chances of creating a normal relationship were slim to none. Our chances of developing the sort of relationship that would end up with all of our children removed by the state, however, were excellent. "But we're both freaks."

"That isn't what I was trying to say." Her arms came around me, and I hugged her almost desperately, smearing sauce across her shirt and not caring. "What I meant was, you have both suffered in ways you shouldn't have had to. Sometimes, that makes it hard to see things or people clearly. If you want to pursue something with him, I won't stop you, but I want both of you to be safe."

"I already know about birth control." She and I had had that conversation when I was thirteen, and it had been embarrassing enough then, when I couldn't imagine ever wanting a boy to touch me like that. Did I want Jasper to do it? I thought I might. That thought made me blush even harder, and I was thankful my face was still hidden.

Mom laughed. "There's more to being safe then knowing about birth control, especially in a case like this. I think you know what I'm talking about."

Yes. She meant we both needed to be mentally safe, as well as physically. I had exactly zero experience with men. I had had boyfriends when I was younger, back when 'dating' meant he took you to the movies and, if he were especially brave, dared to hold your hand. I was fine with that. But then we started getting older, and suddenly they wanted to touch my chest, or even worse, down below, and I couldn't allow that. Why would Jasper want a girl he couldn't even touch? He had probably been with lots of girls. Sexy, flirty, giggly girls. Jealousy overwhelmed me at the thought of their perfectly manicured hands touching his body.

She kept going, unable to read my roving thoughts. "I'm not saying don't do it. But he's only been here for a little while. He doesn't even know how to be part of a family yet, much less have a normal relationship with a girl. Give him a chance to settle in first. Be his friend. Then, if it's meant to be, it will happen. Don't rush him." Her voice dropped, and she met my eyes. "Don't let him rush you, either."

In other words, don't act like a whore. She was right, though. Jasper might be just like all the other boys who had tried stuff with me. Be sweet, tell her she's beautiful, and try and stick your hand under her skirt.

Only I knew he wasn't. There was something about Jasper, something my heart understood even if my brain couldn't. Something that told me that he was different, and he was willing to be patient. But his being patient with me was probably going to require me being honest with him, and I wasn't sure if I could do that. How much damage was too much? "I won't let him push me."

Unless it's the only way to keep him. Mom would have been horrified if she had any idea that I had just thought that, but I couldn't help it. I was flattered that Jasper was showing any attraction to me at all, and if I had to do a few things to keep that, it was still worth it.

The phone rang, dragging me from my terrible thoughts. I picked it up, glad for the excuse to get out of this conversation. "Hello?"

For a second, I thought they had hung up, but a soft voice finally came on the line. "Is this the Cullen residence?"

Normally I would have assumed it was a telemarketer and hung up, but this voice was too young, more like a teenager. "It is."

There was another long pause. "May I speak to Jasper, please?"

My curiosity spiked. "He's outside. I'll have to go find him. May I ask who's calling?"

"Uh, this is his friend Peter."

"Hang on one minute, Peter. I'm going to yell for him." I wanted nothing more than to keep Peter on the line forever, asking him all the questions that no one else could answer. Questions like, who was Jasper really? And my personal worry: how did he get that way?

Mom raised her eyebrow at my, so I whispered, "It's for Jasper," and set the phone down. Emmett had probably taken Jasper out back, and sure enough, there they were. Even though I knew Peter was waiting, I took a second to just look at them. Emmett was holding a baseball in one had, patiently explaining something, then letting it fly. Jasper caught it, then tossed it back. He was intently focused on the ball, just like he was with everything else. I could have watched him forever, the way he rolled the ball from hand to hand before throwing (he was a lefty — I had never noticed before), or the way his hair fell into his eyes, but I forced myself back to the matter at hand. "Jasper?"

His demeanor changed in an instant, seeming paradoxically to both relax and become more intense. Even through the curtain of his bangs, his blue eyes found mine and I looked down, blushing. My mother's words rang in my years. When a boy notices you for the first time . . . Jasper was definitely noticing, but what did I do about it?

I took the coward's way out. "You have a phone call. Someone named Peter?"

That proved to be the right thing to say, because his entire face lit up in the biggest smile I had ever seen. Much to my surprise, I found myself getting jealous. How come I couldn't make him smile like that? Out of my entire family, Jasper liked me best, but I was a poor substitute for his friend.

I swallowed bitterly as he bounded up to my side, that grin still etched onto his face. For a second, I was transfixed by the dimples that appeared like magic. Jasper remained at my side, waiting for me to walk next to him, though I could tell he was extremely eager to get inside.

I gave him a smile of my own. "Okay, let's go." I might be second best, but he still obviously cared. Side by side, we walked back towards the house. Jasper was so excited he bounced in circles around me, his long legs allowing him to take two steps for my every one.

Once we hit the kitchen, he leapt for the phone, holding it like it was a lifeline. "Pete?" The absolute happiness in his voice nearly brought tears to my eyes. How could I blame him for wanting to hold onto a piece of his old life?

"Alice." My mother's voice startled me. She was standing in the doorway, beckoning me into the living room. "Jasper needs some privacy." Her tone left no room for argument, no matter how much I wanted to eavesdrop.

"Fine." I knew I sounded like a petulant child, but I couldn't help it. How was I supposed to help Jasper if I knew nothing about him? Even a snippet of conversation from him would help.

"Now." She didn't yell, but it was pretty clear that she meant business. I heaved an exaggerated sigh, just to let her know how mean I thought she was, and followed her outside. We sat together on the swinging bench, both feigning disinterest in what was going on inside. "Do you want to find out about him that way?"

The part of me that wanted to be good said no. That Jasper would share his secrets or not share his secrets, but it needed to be his choice. He had so little of himself left that it wasn't fair to take away his last few bits of mystery. The rest of me said fuck it, it's for his own good. We were working on a limited timeline here, and I only had ninety-seven days to convince him to stay for good. Considering that Jasper had had six years to develop and hoard his memories, it didn't seem nearly long enough to convince him to give them up. "I don't care."

"He will." She rocked us both, her legs stretched out, while mine remained tucked under my body. "He'll see it as a betrayal, Alice, and you're the one person he doesn't expect that from. If you do this, it'll just kill him. I think you know that."

I did. I wasn't quite sure how I had ended up with the responsibility for Jasper's sanity and well-being, considering I could barely support my own, but somehow, I had.

"Yeah. I just don't know how to help him."

She opened her mouth to reply, but we were interrupted by the sound of someone moving. I recognized Jasper's tread in an instant, knowing the slight drag in his step as well as I knew my own. He slid the door open, trembling with nervous anticipation. "Peter wants to know if he can visit with me." His eyes were pleading, but his tone sounded defeated already. "His foster mom is willing to drive him halfway, if you'll take me the rest."

There was no hesitation. "Of course, honey. Whatever day he can come, we'll make sure you get there."

The quick smile he gave us made it worth any amount of inconvenience. "Cool. Uh, I'll let you know, okay?"

We both gave the affirmative, causing him to smile again. God, he was sexy when he smiled. I managed to repress a squeal until he was out of earshot, but just barely. Mom smiled. "He is really cute when he actually smiles."

Before I could say anything, Jasper reappeared. "Is next Saturday okay? Alicia — that's his foster mom — said we could meet up in Port Angeles."

"That's fine. Maybe Alice and Rose would like to take their old mother shopping so you boys can have some privacy?"

I nodded enthusiastically. Rose and I were always up for shopping, and anyway, I was dying to get a look at Jasper's friend. He relayed Esme's agreement, nodding as his friend spoke. "Saturday, then?" He sounded like he was getting ready to hang up.

Mom and I both rolled our eyes. He might be pretty, but Jasper was a guy, and he made plans like one. She spoke before he could disconnect the call. "Jasper? Time and place, we need that."

From the look on his face, I could tell that those things had never occurred to him. She laughed. "Boys are so helpless sometimes. Why don't you say goodbye and let me talk to his foster mother?"

He nodded. "Listen, Pete, my foster mom wants to talk to yours . . . Yeah . . . I miss you, too . . . No, really? Cool . . . Okay, I'll see you next Saturday . . . Yeah, here she is." He held the phone out. "She wants to talk to you, too."

Mom took the phone with one hand while gesturing us back into the house with the other. "Jasper, please set the table. Just four places; it's only going to be us and Edward tonight. Alice, why don't you give him a hand?"

Way to be subtle, Mom. I put a hand on Jasper's back, nudging him forward. "The slave driver says go."

He was tense, but I couldn't tell if I were making him nervous or if he was just overexcited about getting to see his friend again. When I fell into my usual place beside him, though, I could see he was still grinning. Definitely overexcited. "I'll get the plates, you do the silverware."

I heard him rattling different utensils, counting softly to himself. Then abruptly, he got quiet. When I glanced over, he had both hands braced against the counter, head hanging down between them. I couldn't see his face, but something told me there was a serious problem. "Jasper? Are you all right?"

He didn't so much as twitch. "Jasper? You're scaring me." The last plate slid from my hands to shatter on the floor, but I paid it no mind. I crossed the kitchen quickly, sliding a hand under his chin and turning his face to mine. His eyes were open, but staring blankly into nothingness. "Jasper!" My tone became sharp, a command to come back from wherever he had gone.

A few seconds passed, probably far fewer than it felt like, before he blinked and shook his head slightly. "Alice? What are you doing?" His tone was genuinely puzzled, as if I were the one who was losing my mind instead of him.

"What were you doing?" Worry made the words come out sharper than I intended them to, and he flinched, pulling away from me. I forced myself to calm down. "You just froze up on me."

His eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out what was going on. "No, I didn't. I was getting the silverware, see?" He held up his right hand, and I could see the four sets of forks, spoon and knives held within it.

We stared at each other, each confused and looking for any sign of a joke or deception from the other. He seemed so certain of his version of events that it made me doubt mine. After all, my memory had proven to be rather shaky in the past.

He broke our staring contest, looking past me. "What happened to the plate?"

The broken shards gave proof to my version of events. "I dropped it when I saw you choke up like that. Did you hear it fall?"

I didn't need him to say anything; I could see in his eyes that he hadn't. I brought my free hand up to lay it against his forehead. You had to move slowly with Jasper, especially if you were trying to touch his face, but he had stopped flinching. Mostly. At least when I was doing the touching. He wasn't running a fever, so he probably wasn't sick. "Did you feel nauseous?"

"No. I was getting the silverware." Only he didn't sound quite as sure as he had a few minutes ago.

"I'm getting Mom." She would know what to do. She always did.

"No! I mean, I just got a little dizzy, that's all. It happens sometimes, because of my concussion. I'm all right. Don't tell Esme." He was pleading now, his eyes wide.

I wasn't sure what to do. What had just happened had been frightening, but he seemed fine now. He sensed that I was wavering, and pushed the advantage. "It's all right; I've had fainting spells before. I guess I just fainted without falling down."

That didn't quite seem possible, but he was so earnest that I couldn't tell on him. After all, it had probably just been a minor thing. "You're sure you don't want me to at least say something to Dad? He's a doctor; maybe he'll be able to stop it."

"Nah, it's cool." Jasper laid the silverware out, taking care to keep the utensils lined up perfectly. "I'm already better than I was. Besides, I don't want to worry him."

It was more likely that he didn't want to get sent back to the hospital, or worse, out of our home, but I knew better than to bring those worries up. Deny, deny, deny — that was my Jasper. But we were making progress. For the first time, he had referred to Mom as 'Esme' instead of 'Mrs. Cullen.' I made a quick decision, one I might come to regret. "Fine, I won't say anything this time, but if it happens again, I will."

"It probably won't." His words were confident, but I was used to men and their false bravado.

Mom came through the doorway, and for a spiteful second, I hoped that Jasper would have another spell in front of her. That way I wouldn't be the bad guy for telling on him, but the adults could deal with the problem. But he remained stubbornly fine, confirming the plans to meet his friend.

As if he sensed my thoughts, Jasper turned to look me in the eyes. He was totally expressionless, but his stare was enough to remind me of my promise. I tried smiling at him, and was rewarded with a small grin back. We were on the same page. As wrong as I knew it was, it felt good to have a secret with Jasper. And really, who was it hurting? So he had had a little dizzy spell, no big deal. I flashed him a quick thumbs-up, and was gratified when he returned it.

Slowly but surely, Jasper and I were getting there. Where 'there' was remained a bit of a mystery, but at least we were getting somewhere. Whether he became my boyfriend or just another brother, I was now sure that I would still have him in six months' time. He could try and deny it all he wanted, but we would be a family, one way or another. It was a good feeling.