Only a few more hours until my session with Sabé, Leia reminded herself while Celly, Rouge, and Tia continued their work on her dress. Only a few more hours until I get to leave. And maybe I'll catch Han again. The thought was enough to help Leia fight back another protesting utterance as she fancied all that the two would discuss in eachother's company. After the air had been cleared, Han had started making a point of visiting her, really talking with her, listening. Of course, he always had, but, somehow, things had become serious in a way. Their meetings weren't so much as a joke and they valued the time they got together. However, as if they had somehow found out, Leia's aunts had started to "borrow" Leia more often for preparing for dates, party plans, and other tedious tasks Leia had wanted to run away from. And with her birthday fast approaching, plans for her ball had come in full swing and the Organa sisters had themselves shoulder-deep, pulling Leia with them. When Rouge had come to realize that she often couldn't get done all that she wanted to each day, she'd brought the matter to Bail who had, in response, limited Leia's training time with Sabé. Every minute she got with her mother-figure was a precious moment not to be wasted. There was only so much time in a day, Leia realized, and she couldn't afford to waste the time she got with Sabé and Han.
Standing before the tall vanity in Aunt Tia's room, Leia was dressed in a long scarlet red gown with the top tight-fitting while the skirt was bigger, dragging behind her when she walked. Leia couldn't deny that the dress was very gorgeous, but the intentions behind her birthday look weren't so pretty. At least not to Leia. She'd already known it would be this day that Alderaan's citizens, her suitors, and the media expected her to announce her marriage selection, but it was a month away and Leia had no idea what she would tell everyone when she got up on the stage and approached the microphone. That terrified her, preparing to address an expecting crowd and only having words to say that would please noone. Again, she silently whispered to herself, You don't belong here, Leia. You don't belong on a throne. You don't belong anywhere near here. Why are you still here?
She shook the thought away, returning her gaze to the vanity to take in her aunts' work even as they continued. Tia stood from pinning up her skirt to take out a lipstick from her makeup clutch and paint over Leia's thin lips with its vibrant red color. Red, to match her dress, Leia supposed. Then, she ran over her eyes with an eyeliner while Celly finished pulling her hair back into a sloppy yet composed mess of curls. They stepped back to admire their own work and smiled, absolutely delighted with their art. Leia stood straighter, squared her shoulders, and formed a pleasant smile as though she were at the party. Tia smiled, her shoulders shrugging with the expression. "Oh, Lelila!" she squealed, reaching out to simply pull a strand of hair loose from the rest. "There. You look absolutely darling! Just wait until your father sees."
Rouge snickered and took her niece's hand while Leia stepped off the small podium and into a pair of black slippers. "I don't think Daddy will approve, but he'll cry with pride. We'll have our little girl married the night of the party!"
Leia tried to forget Rouge's last comment and held up her skirt while she made her way down to the main, ground level of the palace. Her aunts followed, still giggling and beaming at her. Standing in the center of the mess were Bail and Breha, surrounded by party coordinators and other specialists. But when Leia came, they all stopped to watch the elegant princess. "Oh, Lelila," Bail muttered, taking in the image of his daughter, all grown up, dressing for her own party at which she'd become engaged. Had that much time really gone by that Leia was no longer the baby girl he'd adopted all those years ago. It made the viceroy feel old, but there she was again and pride bloomed in Bail's chest as he watched her approach. "You look wonderful," he managed, taking his daughter into his arms once she was close enough. "You always do, but today . . ."
Leia smiled up at him, her arms still holding his. "Yes, Papa?"
"Today, you look extravagant; older than I thought you were. Where's my little girl?"
Leia blushed, giving her father another hug as she answered, "She's right here, Papa. Just . . . a little taller."
"So it may seem. Ah, well. I suppose you have much work to do with your aunts. How's it all going?"
"Just splendid," Tia said with a nod. "We just thought we'd show you our work."
"Yes, she's beautiful. As she always is. Breha and I are just going over a few small things here. Leia, if you want to go speak with Memily, I think she said she is finished with the menu and would like your 'okay'."
"Alright. Tell her I'll be right down after I've changed."
"Of course. You go. I'll tell her you'll be down soon." Leia left back for her aunts' room and left her parents with the Organa sisters.
"Isn't she a sight?" Celly practically exploded.
"She's something," Breha agreed. "But she's wearing so much makeup! She's a doll without!"
"Breha, it's just a little eyeliner and lipstick. Sister, it's not like she's five anymore. It's fine."
The queen shook her head and turned to Bail. "I still don't like it. Bail, she seems so uncomfortable somehow."
"Breha, why wouldn't she? It's a huge milestone in her life. It's understandable for her to be nervous. In fact, I'd be a little scared if she wasn't."
With a slight pitiful smile, Raal asked her, "That's the big question, isn't it?" He stood with Leia just outside the meeting room while they were still in the middle of a break. The other senators and nobles were scattered just outside the door while they discussed random topics of big news in politics; mostly that of which concerning Leia, the youngest senator, let alone person, attending the meeting. "Whose name are you going to say?" Raal finished.
"I don't know what I'm going to do," Leia told him, filling up her caf cup and downing a quarter of it in a single, large gulp. "Maybe I'll get lucky and miss my own party."
"And just how do you plan on doing that?"
"Please get me sick! I'll pay you in Hapan dowry gifts!"
Raal dismissed her comical suggestion and remained the realist in the conversation. "You know you can't get out of this one, Leia. We aren't kids anymore and everything we do now affects the well-being of Alderaan."
"Yeah, no pressure."
"I'm sorry, Leia, but we both know that it's true. You have to choose someone before you take the throne. The big question is who?"
"Do you really have to be talking realistically with me? Raal, I don't need that!"
"Yes," Raal objected, quick to point a finger in her face. "Yes, you do, Leia. Remember our friend agreement? We're friends again. That means that when you get stuck in your own delusions and fantasies, I'm going to pull you out."
Leia turned back to him with a pout, bottom lip stuck out. "Oh, come on, Raal! You're not any fun. Please, just another minute?"
Raal stopped her, gently pulling her aside to be sure the other politicians wouldn't be able to hear them. He leaned in close to Leia and told her in a stern, but patient voice, "Leia, I get that you aren't happy about the marriage market, but you have to be real! What do you expect, for your parents to let you throw this tradition just for you? No, no. It isn't a tradition, though it is. It's a necessity, Leia. Alderaan needs you to do this for them. They need you to marry and take up the throne. Alderaan can't wait until you're ready or your perfect prince comes along."
"You know, I was really glad when you withdrew you proposal, but you're starting to sound like everyone else again. You make it sound like I'm being selfish-"
"What else could anyone call it It's obvious you're stalling? It's clear you have no interest in any of your suitors and there are a lot of them."
"Tell me right now that wouldn't be bothered if this weight was on you. Tell me you would be able to choose one princess of a thousand suitors and marry her before the Emperor could threaten Alderaan. Tell me, Raal, and do it for me because I can't. Maybe it it selfish. It probably is, isn't it. I guess I'd rather marry for actual love than for politics. And if I can't find real love within all the vain princes I'm offered, then I'd rather die alone."
"You don't mean that," Raal said with a light snort. Striding back to the meeting room, caf cup in hand, Leia persistently shook her head and assured her friend, "You'd be surprised."
"And what exactly are you hoping your defiance will accomplish? What good will it do anyone? What good will it do you to try and run this planet by yourself? Hmph. The solo queen. Is that what you're going for?"
Solo queen. The word choice irked Leia and she stopped for a moment, letting that really sink in. Solo queen. Solo. Queen. "Don't worry," she told Raal, about to enter back into the meeting room. "I've never wanted to be Queen, anyway."
"What do you think?" Winter asked, holding up the first dress before her body again. "One or two?"
"How about three?" Leia suggested, her eyes glued to her datapad's screen.
Turning a glare on her friend, Winter dropped the dresses and crossed her arms. "Just because you think your life's a dump right now doesn't mean you need to try and ruin everyone else's day. You're being a brat and it's really annoying."
With a sigh, Leia shut off her screen and looked back to Winter who remained standing, scowling at her. Why did it seem like, to Leia, that they had this very same argument every day? Leia dropped the device into her drawer and stood to meet Winter's glare and told her in a firm voice, "If you can't stand being around me, then leave. You still have friends. Go back to them and tell them what a horrible friend you have. She's always complaining, always acting spoiled, selfish. She won't even marry the Hapan prince already! She won't listen to everyone else! She won't obey! She doesn't give bantha fodder about anyone but herself! She's rude, obnoxious, selfish-"
"You are!" Winter screamed at Leia, towering over her with a heavy, focused glare. "You are the most selfish, vain person I have ever met! I don't understand why Bail and Breha put up with you. They're trying to do something nice for you and all you can do is sit here and complain! You have princes and other noblemen begging for your hand, offering you riches, weapons, planets, anything so you'll marry them. You have all these men head over heels in love with you, but no! None of it is good enough for Alderaan's own Ice Princess, now is it? No! Let noone rest until she has the galaxy in her hands. How much is enough, huh, Leia? How much more do you need?"
Tears threatening to fall down her cheeks, Leia quickly turned away, trying to calm herself, trying to keep from anger. It wasn't going to do her good to pick a fight with Winter and defend herself. No, Winter was probably right, anyway. "Where are Mama and Papa?" she asked instead, folding her arms around herself.
"They're gone to do some shopping with our aunts. Why? You think they disagree with me?"
Tightly, she closed her eyes against the tears, tried to keep them at bay, but her feelings were stronger than her body was and they fell rapidly down her red face. "I want to talk to them."
"Forget it, Leia. If this is what we get when we try to do something for you-"
"Winter, please!" Leia spun back around to face the other young woman. "I just want you to understand. I want to be able to talk to you like we used to. I don't want to fight with you anymore."
"I never said I wanted to fight," Winter held out her arms and laughed. "See, you make the simplest things into a brawl. I din't want to fight. You just have to get people's attention, don't you? Don't you, you selfish brat?"
"People aren't listeni-"
"Are you kidding? People are all over you right now. Your suitors, Mama, Papa, our aunts. Who isn't listening to you, engrossed in every little detail of your life right now."
"I don't want it to be like that-"
"Of course you don't. Because nothing is near perfect enough for you. I came in here, trying on dresses for your party. I asked you which one you liked . . . and you had to turn it into a fight. Forget it, Leia. I'm done. I don't want to fight anymore."
Winter stormed out, leaving Leia to sit on the edge of her bed, drowning in her own misery. She thought about it a moment, considering Winter's words very carefully. Selfish, she'd called her. A spoiled, self-absorbed brat. She probably was. The past several months, all she'd been doing was begging for attention, practically screaming to get people to notice, throwing public tantrums, all in the mane of her own frustration. Winter was right. Her parents didn't deserve this. Sabé didn't deserve this. Winter and Raal didn't deserve this.
Considering her best options and running the benefits through her head, Leia took her datapad back from her drawer and opened a new document. And with the thought of Alderaan's well-being in mind, she began preparing her big, long-awaited speech she would give at the party.
"I haven't gotten an hour with her this week," Sabé followed Bail across his study, remaining only a step behind him as she tried to keep his gaze. "You can't expect her to do nothing but plan all week! The poor girl needs a break!"
"And that is why I thought I'd stop her lessons for now. Sabé, it's only until after the party. Her aunts have much work to do and Leia is needed for that work as well. I assure you she's getting plenty of rest. Now, you let me worry about my own daughter."
"I'm sorry," the woman stopped, turning away from her boss as she planted her hands on her hips and considered his words. "It's hard not to worry about her. I don't think you realize just how hard these long months have been for her. It may be a sort of coming-of-age thing to you, but Leia isn't even twenty yet. She can't make such a huge decision in so little time. That's what she needs! Time!"
"Twenty is plenty of time. Plenty old enough, too. Usually, the families start this process at a younger age Don't you dare think I'm rushing her, not concerned for her."
"Then, consider again. A lot's happened since this started and I think it would do some good to give her a little more time. I can't see anything good coming out of this sudden, rushed mess."
The food unit freshly stocked, Han smiled at his accomplishment and headed back for his room. The last couple weeks had been hard for him. He'd tried visiting Leia more often, but her schedule was always packed and Han couldn't seem to catch a moment with her. And he really wanted to see her again. He always looked forward to their talks, to turning the worry, exhaust, and frown on Leia's face to a carefree smile filled with relief and a brightness nobody saw much of anymore. He missed her smile, her joyous laugh, the way the light from her window shined on her head when she tilted it to the side. When she smiled at him. Those dark, deep brown eyes would be his death, Han was sure. That everlasting pool of joy and compassion and love, Han longed to wade in its waters again, to bring the light back to it.
He knew it was rash of him to think these things, to let himself dream about Leia all day, but he missed her, missed the warmth she brought to his life. And he'd quickly developed a care for her that had him worried for the princess at all hours. Worried that the light had vanished from her smile and her eyes.
Trying to ignore his longings, Han lied down for a nap, closed his eyes and imagined how their next meeting would go . . .
A/N: Alright, few things. First, sorry for the short chapter. To be honest, this was kind of written just for the sake of being sure my next chapter isn't completely rushed. So, yes this was just a filler chapter. Second, wow! Boy, did I turn Winter into an evil step-sister. Lastly, some really big stuff is coming up! I'm so excited! I am interested in knowing what everyone's favorite little parts are or quotes, scenes, etc. I'm hoping that once we get to the big stuff, we'll have some new favorite chapters . . .