"I hate Mondays," I grumbled as I sat down at the table. I looked for some food. Bloody waffles! I swear to Merlin, I am going to make a waffle petition.
"Who doesn't?" Regulus agreed as he ate his waffles. God I hated them so much. Probably more than Voldemort hates muggleborns.
"Last night was so exhausting," I had my first occlumency lesson last night, and it was awful. It was so hard and tiring. Do you know how hard it is to keep someone out of your mind? Probably not. But let me tell you, it's way harder than you think.
"You can say that ag-" Regulus was cut off as our table disappeared. That's right, it just disappeared. And so did the benches, so we all landed to floor with a thud. But the worse was that the food disappeared too! All the delicious (minus the waffles of course, I'm glad those revolting things were? gone) food was gone!
"Food!" I pouted, looking towards to Gryffindor table, glaring daggers. I saw the whole Gryffindor table (along with the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw) was laughing at us. I whipped out my wand and muttered the incantation. "Lipiga biksites." and the spell hit all four of the marauders. Lacy, girly, bras were now attached to the front of their robes, and let me tell you, they weren't going to come off anytime soon. I sent a semi-permanent sticking charm at them again, so they couldn't take their robes off either. Mwahahaha. Revenge is a bitch. Regulus let out a loud wolf whistle and they whole great hall started laughing at their precious marauders. The Slytherin house just sat there on the floor, laughing. I love how the teachers just ignore these things.
"James! What are you and your friends doing wearing Lily's bras? I thought you were all you know…guys," I shouted across the hall, grinning cockily. The four glared at me and Evans's face turned beet red.
"Oh hey look, James is coming over here." Regulus said, raising his eyebrow.
"This will be interesting. Initiate smart ass powers." I laughed as James stormed over to Slytherin territory.
"Fix this!" He demeaned, motioning to the knickers that were residing on his robes. It was even funnier up close.
"Nah, I'm good. Though James, I don't even know why you're wearing a bra, you've always been kind of flat-chested."
"Jade I'm serious!" He yelled. I couldn't resist saying what came out of my mouth next.
"No! He is!" I said pointing to Sirius. I burst out laughing and Reg just shook his head.
"That is the worst pun. Ever." Regulus stated.
"Yeah but lousy Gryffindors, like James here, don't deserve my good puns. Speaking of you," I looked back up to James (yes I was still sitting on the floor). "You need to go, you don't belong in Snake territory. So get your sorry arse out of here," I sneered and he stormed off. That's right James. I never lose an argument. Ever. I think that's why teachers hated me so much. Our conversations would usually go like this:
"Where's your homework Jade?"
"There was homework? I don't remember you assigning homework."
"Miss. Potter, the rest of the class did it. There was an assignment, now where is it?"
"Well if I do remember correctly, you said we would go over it in class yesterday, but seeing as I missed the beginning of class, I must not of heard you assign it as homework if you didn't finish it."
"And where were you at the beginning of class?"
"In the loo. So really, I was unaware of this assignment and it would be unfair to lose points on it. "
"Fine! Hand it in tomorrow!" And then the teacher would walk off frustrated. Life is great sometimes.
"Just focus on one thing in the room, and think about just that object. Don't think about anything else." Regulus instructed. "Legilimens" I heard Reg whisper and I could feel him push into my mind. I tried to focus on the quill that was sitting on the desk in the empty classroom. Honestly, I was intently focusing on the many colors of it, but the force of the spell was too much. I could see him looking at the memories of mine and James childhood. Of the bathroom incident. Ha, that was hilarious.
"Focus!" He commanded.
"I'm trying!" I cried and tried to push him out of my mind. I saw the memory of that detention I had with Sirius. Yes that one. I was putting away a jar of frogs eyes. "That's-private…!" I cried and pushed him out of my mind. I felt the pressure that had settled on my brain be lifted. I breathed heavily and sat down, pressing my palms to my forehead.
"You're getting better," Regulus stated, sitting on a desk. I looked up at him, his face unreadable. Damn it, I hate when I can't read him.
"No, not really. Let's try again." I stood up shakily.
"You sure? You look whipped. You stubborn little child," He smirked. It's not fair. He can read my thoughts so easily, but yet I'm exhausted at just the thought of blocking him out of my mind.
"Yes, let's go. I'm going to get this Reg. And I will be the bloody master of it!" I said determinedly.
"Okay…here we go. Focus Bitty!" He pushed into my thoughts without even saying the spell. I hate when he does that, it catches me off guard. I closed my mind as best as I could, focusing on the doorknob. Even though I was trying hard, I could still feel him reading my mind. Watching me get my syringa tattoo, kissing Derek in Hogsmeade. Then I thought of something.
"Legilimens!" I said, pushing into his mind. I watched, like it was one of those muggle films, at his memories. I saw me and him in sitting in the bathroom making Lesley. The memory changed to when Regulus was reading his letter that told him he was going to be a death eater. The memory broke and I was sucked back into reality.
"Interesting tactic there…though I wouldn't advise using it on him, he will kill you." Regulus said, sitting on a desk. I walked over to him and sat down. I was completely out of breath, this was hard work! You try getting your thoughts read!
"Couldn't you just do this to me all the time? If you wanted to get information out of me?" I asked. Because really, he could just read my thoughts all the time if he wanted.
"I could, but I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't take advantage of you like that." He said as I sat down next to him on the desk. I was exhausted, I just want to go to sleep now. We just sat there in comfortable silence, for all of, oh I don't know…five seconds.
"What the bloody hell is going on in here!" The door flew open and I nearly jumped out of my skin. In walked Sirius, and he looked murderous. Why does he keep appearing in my life? Why did he look so mad? He's not even prefect, it's like he was out looking for us.
"Well you know…stuff." I panted out. I was too tired to think of a snarky response. I wasn't going to go about telling him that I was learning occlumency so I could become a death eater so I can destroy Voldemort either. Sirius eyes narrowed.
"Why do you care so much?" Regulus asked, looking bored.
"I-well-I-just…" He stumbled through words to come up with an excuse. Oh shit, well I'm guessing that he only heard part of our conversation and we probably sounded like we were having the time of our lives in this classroom here shagging, and it probably didn't help that I was all out of breath. I have learned that sex is a great cover for when you're making vicious potions and or learning occlumency. I started to laugh at this. This has just been one hell of a school year and it's not even Christmas yet. Reg and Sirius both gave me weird looks.
"Well Sirius, pet, what does it look like we were doing? And it looks like you got that bra off. Shame, I thought leopard print suited you well," I asked raising an eyebrow. Regulus caught my drift and let out a low laugh as well.
"Oh brother, don't get your knickers in a twist. It was just a bit of fun. Come on Bitty, let's go. I'll tell the guys to stay out of the dorm tonight," Regulus said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. I just completely lost it. I laughed my arse off and fell off the desk.
"Oh fuck that hurt," I muttered, still laughing. Regulus laughing too, and well Sirius, he just looked pissed off.
"Come Regulus! Off to go kill mudbloods and dirty blood traitors and then have celebratory sex for all the good we're doing for the world," I stood up and pulled him off the desk, laughing. I ran to the doorway but I ran into this big wall of Sirius.
"Excuse me? What did you just say?" Sirius said darkly, glaring at me. Oops, I must watch my mouth around his little ears, I guess.
"You heard me. Now can we get back to our common room? We have important things to do." I tried to walk past Sirius again but he wasn't moving.
"Did you just say dirty blood traitors and mudbloods?" He asked, disgust filled his voice. Personally, I wasn't very fond of those words either, but hey, I've got to keep up an act here.
"Yes, you heard her. Or are you daft?" Regulus snapped. "Since we're going to kill them all, I believe we should start with this blood traitor right here," A small hint of sarcasm in his words.
"Oooo! And then we can go kill that mudblood Evans, that should be some good fun. Then you know, we can make everyone else be our slaves, and they could make us cookies and all that good stuff," I said, sarcasm oozing from my voice. Before I could even high five Reg, I felt a spell hit me in the chest and I flew backwards and hit a desk and flipped over. Ow! That fucking hurt! I took in short breaths and slowly opened my eyes. I heard cursing and yelling and I think a few hexes and curses were casted. I saw Sirius and Reg in pretty much a full out duel.
"You're just as bad as the rest of the Slytherins and you've brainwashed her now," Sirius yelled as he sent a hex towards Reg.
"There was a reason I was sorted into Slytherin you know. I have a name I have to live up to," Reg said coldly. When Regulus got mad, he wasn't all blow-up-in-your-face, he got quiet. When Reggie got quiet, you better run for your life.
"Still taking orders from our lovely parents? When are you going to start standing up for yourself?"
"At least I'm facing my problems, unlike you. You just ran away and left everything up to me. Did you think I wanted that, Sirius? No, you were only thinking of yourself. You were being a coward." Regulus said through gritted teeth. I don't even know how they were dueling while carrying on such an intense conversation. I slowly started to sit up, rubbing my head.
"Me, a coward? I'm in Gryffindor you dolt. At least I can stand up for what I believe in and don't take orders from a bitch like our mother." Sirius sneered. "And now you've ruined Jade too. I thought there was some hope for her, but she just as bad as you now!"
"Enough!" I snapped at him, standing up. "Don't you blame Regulus for my actions. It's my choice okay? I was sorted into Slytherin because you know what! That's who I am! So you need to stay the fuck out my way and stay out of Reg's too. I'm sick of you just popping up into my life all of a sudden! You need to get the fuck out of it! Same with James. You've never cared before, so why all of a sudden now? I don't need him anymore, and I sure as hell don't need you either. I'm done trying to make other people happy. I'm making myself happy now. I don't need you or James or mum or dad. I just need myself and my best friend." I yelled at Sirius. The duel had stopped and both Black brothers were staring at me. I walked out of the classroom, leaving both of them behind.
I walked through the corridors, not really sure where I was going. It was late, well after curfew, but honestly, I could give a shit about rules at the moment. After I had stormed out of my secret occlumency lesson (which Sirius had so rudely interrupted) I had went to my dorm and practiced some particularly violent violin pieces. I padded through the dark hallways, the cold stone feeling good on my bare feet. I wonder what Reg and Sirius did after I left. I hadn't blown up like that in a long time. It felt good to let off some steam, to tell someone exactly how I felt. Though I couldn't really tell anyone about the whole death eater thing. Besides Regulus that is. Ever since I had proposed my plan of me and Regulus joining Voldemort, and then destroying him, my life has gotten a lot harder. I have to learn occlumency, learn about a bunch of dark arts and magic and stuff, and I have to pretend to hate muggles and muggleborns (otherwise known as mudbloods) and be all into the things my fellow Slytherins enjoy. Throw quidditch (and Regulus, the captain/dictator/tyrant) and school work on top of all that. I just wish I could apparate to somewhere far away, like America, or the Bahamas, and just go there and start over. Where no one knows my name. It would be fantastic.
"So Regulus, are the rumors I hear true? Will you be a death eater by the end of your sixth year?" I heard to voice of Bellatrix Black. I stopped and hid behind a statue listening. I peered around the statue and saw Bellatrix, Rosier, Snape, and Regulus all standing there, talking.
"If that is what the Dark Lord wishes, then I shall do so. Possibly even over the holidays I may join." Regulus said evenly, his voice not wavering with any doubt. I wish I could see their faces.
"You will make a great servant to the master, Regulus. You will make the Black family proud." Bellatrix said, a small hint of happiness, in her voice. Bellatrix rarely got happy, only when discussing the Dark Lord.
"What about the Potter girl?" Rosier said, a small hint of disgust present in his tone.
"Yes, you can't go about associating with blood traitors like her, Regulus. It goes against everything the Dark Lord stands for." The drawl of Severus Snape commented.
"She is unlike the rest of her family. Do you honestly think I would be friends with a filthy blood traitor? What do you take me for?" Regulus said coldly to Rosier and Snape, disgust and anger in his tone. Fake disgust and anger. At least I hope it is fake.
"She's a Potter, and she's never showed interest in the Dark Lord. You must not be friends with her Regulus, if you wish to become a faithful servant." I heard Bellatrix say.
"She was just unfortunately born into a family of traitors. She was sorted into Slytherin for a reason. She is a pureblood after all. She has in fact shown interest in the Dark Lord and his practices. I can assure you that she is a respectable pureblood. My mother approves of her. And you know my mother is hard to please," Regulus said calmly. That's right Reggie, defend your best friend!
"I suppose if your mother approves, she is alright," Bellatrix said, still a little bit of disdain in her voice. Oh well, screw her. Not that anyone would ever really want to physically screw her. But don't tell her I said that. I'd rather not be dead.
"Have you told her about your plans to join the Dark Lord?" Snape asked.
"No, not yet. I will eventually. She can be a tad bit unpredictable at times. Though she has been asking a lot of questions about the Dark Lord and his practices, and she seems truly interested. I think she would make a fair servant herself."
"A Potter? As a Death Eater! You're kidding me Regulus." Bellatrix laughed.
"What if she's just pretending to take interest, so she can spy on the Dark Lord?" Rosier asked suspiciously.
"I know Jade better than anyone else. She's most definitely not a spy. I honestly think she would make a great Death Eater. Well hell, we could even have her be a spy for us," Regulus stated.
"Goodnight then cousin, we'll discuss this later." Bellatrix said as all four of them started walking away. Sometimes I regret telling Regulus that I would be a death eater, but then I remember that if he did it alone, I would probably never talk to him again, because like Bellatrix said, I'm a blood traitor. So I'm glad I'm doing it, that I'm going to be a death eater. Regulus is the only person I have left. I stepped out from behind the statue and started walking towards the common room.
"What are you doing, breaking curfew?" James' accusing voice entered my ears. Ugh.
"James, please, I don't want argue. I've had a shitty day and I don't want to yell at anyone again. Give me a detention or something and just call it a night?" I pleaded. Wow, I'm trying to bargain with my brother.
"Whoa…are you sick or something?" He asked, lowering his wand. Me not fighting back with him must have come as a shock.
"No, James, I just don't want to argue. I'm exhausted." I said blankly. I just want to go to bed right now.
"Are you okay? Usually you would have some sarcastic reply or something." James sounded kind of…concerned.
"James, I'm fine. I've just had a shit ass day. Why do you care so much? What are you planning?" I narrowed my eyes.
"I'm not planning anything. I've been thinking about what Regulus said in the bathroom in the other day. He's right." James said quietly. I believe this could pretty much count as an apology. Someone call the Daily Prophet.
"I'm not going to disagree with you there," I pointed out. "Sometimes I wish me and you would just sit down and talk and figure out where we stand with each other," I sat down against a wall and he joined me
"Jade…I….I'm…" James sputtered.
"Spit it out," I said, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm…sorry. For pushing you away and everything. I'm sorry." He breathed out. For the first time in a long time James has used the S-word. Sorry.
"We'll that's a start. But don't expect me just to think that will fix everything, because it won't. I'm not going to just let you back into my life, when you spent so long pushing me out of yours. But like I said, it's a start." I've never had such a heart to heart conversation with James. Wow.
"I guess so….but, how come you're so different? From everyone in the family?" James asked. I rolled my eyes. I've answered this question so many times.
"James, I just am. Everyone needs to accept that I'm not the little perfect, Jamsette they want me to be. I'm different from all the Potters'. I just don't belong in our family."
"Jamsette?" James asked, a trace of a smile on his face, but it didn't show.
"Yeah. I'm expected to live up to you. To be just like you. To be fantastic at quidditch-"
"But you are good at quidditch! You're a good beater." James cut me off.
"Wow, that's the first time you've ever complimented me without it being sarcastic. And thank you, but I'm not that great. I'm not as good as you, you could go pro, you're a fantastic chaser. Besides being beater is not hard. All you do is smack lethal balls at peoples faces," I said. James just nodded. "And it's hard to live up to you. I have to be good at school and get good grades. I'm expected to be great at transfiguration because you're the bloody genius of that class. I'm rotten at it. So no one noticed I got an O in charms, they were too busy scolding me for getting T in transfiguration." Man, I hated transfiguration, and McGonagall isn't very fond of me either.
"You got an O in charms? I only knew about the T in transfiguration." James asked, in awe.
"Well figuring you've missed a majority of my life, I'm not surprised you didn't know. And I could give a crap about transfiguration. I didn't study for that exam at all. I ended up setting my examiner on fire because I got bored." This was very true. I did set my examiner on fire, because I couldn't turn the damn rat into a teacup. I told you I was horrid at transfiguration. So anyway, I decided to erm…spice up the exam by setting my examiner on fire. Hehe.
"I heard about that…what are you going to do when you get out of school?" James asked. Why do people keep asking this question?
"I don't know. Musician probably," I lied quickly.
"You're still playing your violin? I want to be an aurora, and stop Voldemort," James said with confidence, like it was the thing he was the most sure off. It was the same voice he used when he says he's going to marry Lily Evans.
"I know you want to be an aurora. The whole school knows. And yes, of course I'm still playing my violin!" I couldn't get over the fact that James and I are being….nice…to each other.
"Why were you out so late?" James asked softly.
"Remember when you said you couldn't tell me why you were all beat up that morning? I told you, we all have our secrets. I respected yours, you need to respect mine," I replied. I wasn't going to tell him I was learning occlumency.
"Hey, have you seen Sirius lately? He disappeared after dinner?" James asked. Oh shit…I left those two alone in a room.
"I kind of maybe left him and Reg alone in the same room…" I mumbled.
"Why would you do that! One of them is probably dead now...what happened?" James sounded worried. He should be.
"Well Sirius walked in on me and Regulus…doing something. And I kind of maybe offended Sirius. And then Reg and him got in a duel and then I freaked out on Sirius and went on one of my neurotic rants. Then I left the room. I just saw Regulus a little while ago, which either means him and Sirius talked things out, or Sirius got his arse handed to him…"
"Oh shit….I'll ask questions later. Where did you leave them?" James sounded a little irritated.
"I dunno. Some classroom." I said shrugging.
"Come on, let's go find him," James said, standing up.
"Nah, I think I'm gonna go back to my dorm and go to bed. You can go try and find him if you want." I stood up and started walking towards the Slytherin common room.
"You're impossible." James said rolling his eyes.
"I know. And this was nice, us being tolerable to each other." I said as I walked away. It was nice, having James kind of some what accept me. But I don't trust him. He might think I do, but I don't. I don't know if I'll ever trust him again. Also, I can guarantee you that by tomorrow, James will have forgotten about this chat we had, and he will go back to hating me. I can guarantee it. Before he was out of earshot, I told him "James, I'm sorry too."
-x-
Author's Note!
You know this is your favorite part ;) I might be discontinuing The Shipped Gold Standard.I've tried, really I have, to keep writing that story, but I keep drawing blanks. So as of now, I guess it's on hiatus? I dunno. Maybe I'll try writing it again, but as of now, I'd rather be writing this story. I can't believe January is almost over D: It went by super fast, probably because our school had it's musical this month. So glad it's over, I was sick of staying after school to 6:00. Hope you liked the chapter, a nice little Jade/James moment. Hope you liked the Marauders lovely bras. No reviewers, I did not forget you, I love you all and your words of amazingness(: I stayed up to 4:08 a.m. to finish writing/proofread/upload this chapter for you, so you best be grateful, you little prats(:
Author's Note 2.0:
Over halfway done with revisions. Underneath all the awful punctuation and poor grammar, there's actually a decent story here. Would you look at that?