It was almost comical.

My family treated me as if I was a baby left on their doorstep; they wanted to love me and what not, but they weren't sure how I would react.

Mum had attempted to talk to me about…it, and I give her credit for that. It was unbearably awkward and uncomfortable for the both of us. We really haven't had a mother-to-daughter since I was eleven. She really did try and get me to talk about what happened, but in all honesty, I didn't want to talk about it. I don't want to remember or even think about it. It's one of those things that I need to deal with on my own. I'm an independent person; I don't need anyone except for Regulus.

I've been home for three days, and I have accomplished absolutely nothing. I've been in my room most of the time. It's a nice place to be, to be honest. The walls are painted yellow, with multi-colored polka dots. Photographs are all over my room. On the walls, on my desk, the nightstand, I even hung some from the ceiling with string. Some of the photos moved, some of them didn't. Two years ago, I received a muggle camera for my birthday from my parents. It's one of my favorite things I own. I smiled at a picture of Regulus, who was wiping cake off of his face. That one was from his birthday last year, when I smashed that cake in his face after I sang to him…oh good times. Speaking of him…

I wrote Regulus the second day of break, I received his letter late last night. That makes me think he's not supposed to be writing anyone…

Dear Itty-Bitty Jade,

Couldn't go two days without talking to me? Ah, I don't blame you, I'm just so fabulous; no one can resist talking to me.

Anyway, enough of me being as egotistical as my brother, how are you holding up? I swear to Merlin, Pacheco is going to be a dead man.

Everything here is just great. Mother is fussing all about, since the Dark Lord will be here over the holidays. Bellatrix is probably more excited than her. I think Bella is jealous because of this "wonderful" opportunity that has been forced upon me. She probably can't wait for her turn.

Speaking of my neurotic cousin, what are you doing Christmas Eve? Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Druella are throwing a ball, and I'm sure I could take you along. I am the pureblood prince after all. Just look at me! I'll be a Death Eater by the end of Christmas break. Hopefully you can come, you'd finally get to see my Mother wear that dress from the fifteenth century.

Love,

Regulus Aquarius

No one knows this except for me, the teachers, and possibly his parents, but Regulus has extremely feminine handwriting. Lucius is to his hair as Regulus is to his handwriting. It's that girly. I will admit, I am jealous. I have piss poor handwriting, I had to rewrite an essay for McGonagall once because my handwriting was so bad.

I glanced at his letter, which was sitting on my desk. I suppose I should write him back, since I have nothing else to do. I fished around my desk drawer for a quill and ink. I found a quill and pulled the stopper off of the ink bottle. I reached over and turned on my radio, I didn't like sitting in the quiet. A hummed along to the song that was currently playing, scratching my quill across the parchment.

Dear Regulus Aquarius,

I'm pretty sure that you're eventually going to forget that your middle name is, in fact, Arcturus.

And of course I couldn't go two days without talking to you!

You could never be as big headed as Sirius. I would tell you if your ego was inflating too much before you reach Sirius' level of egotistical-ness.

Yeah, I'm doing alright…Mum tried to talk to me about what happened. She's awful at trying to get me to open up, but I'll give her brownie points for trying. Mmmm, brownie points…I could go for a brownie right now. I wonder if you can eat brownies for breakfast? Well I suppose you could eat anything you wanted for breakfast….and you don't need to kill Derek. Karma will get that scrotum. If it doesn't, then you can murder him. I honestly don't care what happens to him. I want him out of my life. I hope you plan to kick him off of the team, I couldn't handle being on the same team as him.

Bellatrix scares the shit out of me, that's all I'm going to say about her. Have you heard her laugh? I'm sure you have. It's not even a laugh; it's a cackle. Speaking of that. I hope you do know I still plan to join the Dark Lord as soon as I can. I won't let you go through this alone.

I don't know if I can come to your family's Christmas Eve ball. I would love to, anything to be away from my family. Everything is so awkward around them. They think I'm just going to break down in tears and cry my little heart about because of what happened. Honestly, they don't know me at all. If my family really knew me, they would know I'm stronger than that. Anywho, I really don't know if my parents would let me. I would have to convince my parents to let me leave the house, and that would be a challenge. Don't take this the wrong way, but my parents aren't very fond of you. It's alright though, I'm pretty sure they aren't fond of me either. Maybe I could guilt them into letting me come….

Owl me later?

Love,

Jade xoxo

P.S. I can't wait to see that dress. I might be more excited about that than seeing your beautiful face.

I folded the letter neatly and shoved it into an envelope. I scrawled Reg's name across the letter and set it back down on my desk. I'll owl it to him later, I can guarantee that he's still sleeping. Despite being best friends with an early riser like myself, Regulus loves sleep more than anything.

"I didn't meant to fall in love, but I did. And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did…" I sang along to the chorus. I just noticed how loudly I was singing..

"Jade! It's seven in the bloody morning, shut the hell up!" I heard my brother scream from the room across the hall. Ah, it's good to be home.

"Can I go over to Regulus' Aunt and Uncle's house?" I asked, chewing my lower lip. I was currently sitting at the breakfast table with James and Sirius. I picked at my half of grapefruit nervously.

"Why would you want to go there?" Sirius muttered darkly, barking a bitter laugh. I glared at him, but didn't say anything.

"I don't know, Jade….When do you plan on going?" Mum said evasively, turning the waffle iron over. Ew. Waffles. The Devil's food.

"Today…" I said quietly. I know she's going to say no. I already plan on begging and possibly even crying. James and Sirius snorted into their pumpkin juice. Wankers.

"Absolutely not. Christmas is time for family," She said firmly, turning to face me.

"Regulus is my family," I thought to myself. "Please? Regulus is my only friend! You let James and Sirius see Remus and Peter over the holidays!"

"Not on Christmas Eve!"

"But you always let them come to the New Year's Eve party!"

"You could invite Regulus to New Year's Eve!" Her voice was rising, along with her temper. Oh, an angry mum is a such a fun mum.

"I ask every year, and every year you say 'I don't think so, Jade. Maybe next year'."

"Then he can come this year!" My mum said angrily. If only I could take her up on that offer. Sadly, I can't.

"He has to be home on New Years," I argued.

"And you have to be with your family today!" Mum narrowed her eyes slightly. James and Sirius sat at the table quietly, probably trying not to laugh.

"Why? All I'm going to do is sulk around in my room. There's no way in hell I'm going to Aunt Gertrude's. Every time I go over there, everyone gives me dirty looks and sometimes they even tell me I'm a dirty Slytherin. I'd have a much better time with Regulus! His family likes me better than my own!" I shouted hotly, standing up from my seat. It's funny, for awhile my parents were nice to me, and actually acknowledged my presence and what not. Now we're back to square one, where we can't stand each other.

"Jade!" She screamed, exasperated. "You do not belong with his family, you are a Potter. We love you more than they ever could."

"Like I belong anymore here," I laughed bitterly. "Don't you get it? I fit in with my family as much as Sirius fits in with his. It's like I have the infectious disease called Slytherin. Why does it even matter what bloody house I'm in? It shouldn't even matter. It doesn't make me a bad person because I wear a green and silver tie at school. It's a stupid house! Obviously, you never even cared that much about me in the first place, because if you did, then being in Slytherin wouldn't change how you see me. So can I go with Reg on Christmas Eve? Can I at least have that?" I pressed my lips together tightly. I looked like I was about to explode, as was my Mum.

"How can you say that? We try to show you that we care about you, but you just push away! So the answer is no. You're not going over there."

"So you're saying you give up on caring about me? Thanks Mum." I said coldly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Jade!"

"Look, mother. I'm going with Regulus today. I'll walk if I have to."

"No! I don't want you to even see Regulus anymore! You want your family to accept you? Fine. We can start today, by going to Aunt Gertrude's," She stepped closer to me, so only the table separated us. My jaw went slack, my eyes bulged out..

"Excuse me?" I cocked an eyebrow at her. "I'm not even happy here! Why do you want to deprive me of one the person that actually likes me and doesn't have to pretend to put up with me?"

"I don't think he's good for you. He's a bad influence," Mother kept talking, telling me how Regulus is just hurting me, but I stopped listening.

"Fuck this shit," I muttered under my breath darkly. I stepped away from my mother, looking at her in disgust. I didn't say anything, I just walked away.

"Where are you going?" My mother called after me. I didn't answer, I just ran to my room. I skipped up the stairs two at a time and threw open my bedroom door. I found a knapsack and put my wand, some gold, my mirror and my dress in it. The dress I planned to wear tonight. I'm going to that damn ball. I'll come back for my trunk later. I opened my window and planned to slip out onto the roof.

"Jade?" I craned my neck to look over my shoulder, to see Sirius standing there.

"What do you want? Can't you see I'm trying to leave?" I motioned to my one leg that was currently sticking out of my window.

"I can see that," Sirius closed the door softly behind him.

"Well, I'll be on my way." I started to swing my other leg out the window when I felt a hand grab my wrist. I felt myself tense up. I wiggled my wrist out of Sirius' grasp.

"Don't touch me." I said quietly.

"I'm sorry. Can we talk?" He said equally as quiet. Slowly, I swung my legs back inside my room, and looked at Sirius. He didn't look mad like my mother had, he only looked concerned.

"Not for long." I sat down on my bed, and motioned for him to sit next to me. He sat down across from me, at the foot of my bed. I watched him take in my room. The bright colors. The plethora of photographs. That hot pink bra on the floor next to the dresser. Shit. I should probably put that away.

"So I suppose you plan on leaving?" He asked, his voice still low, but not quite as quiet as before.

"Yes. As I said before, I don't belong here. I think you of all people would know what it's like to not belong with your family. Don't you understand why I want to go?" I made direct eye contact with Sirius for the first time since that fatal day in the empty classroom. No, I have not forgotten about that. In fact, I think about that a lot, although I would never admit to, even under wand point.

"I can understand where you are coming from. You feel like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole, yeah? But, Jade, you have it so much easier than I did. Your family is at least on the good side. My family, they're up to their necks in dark arts. Jade, if you left here, I know the only place you really have to go is my parent's house. If you went there, I know they would try and get you into the dark arts as well. My family isn't good. Maybe Regulus is, but the rest of them aren't. They're evil, Jade."

"Why do you care so much?" I couldn't help but think Mum had sent him in here to talk to me.

"Because I care about you. I've grown pretty fond of you this year. I'll be honest, before this year, I didn't particularly like you. I just assumed that you were just as bad as the other Slytherins."

"You know, despite popular belief, there are a lot of decent Slytherins. Not all of us are that bad. We've all got light and dark inside of us, what matters is what part we choose to act on."

"That was deep, Jade. I'll probably quote that at some point in my life. Who do you think you are Dumbledore?" Sirius smirked, and I felt a small smile form on my face.

"So why now? Why didn't you try and be nice to me all those years before?"

"I don't have an answer for why I didn't try sooner. I'm not even sure why I started being nice to you this year. I suppose somewhere in-between when you told to 'get the fuck out of your compartment', when we had those detentions together, when I kissed you in the hospital wing, those times when I stumbled upon you drunk as all hell, to when we snogged in that classroom…I…I…" Sirius trailed off.

"You what?" I said in a barely audible whisper.

"I…I fell for you." Sirius' words rang in my ears. I just stared at him, not knowing what to say. My head was screaming "No!" My heart was screaming "Yes!"

"Me too." I uttered so quietly, I'm not even sure Sirius heard me. I didn't even think about saying it, it just spilled out of my mouth. For a while, no words were said, we just sat there on my bed, looking at each other.

"Where does this leave us?" I finally spoke, breaking the silence.

"I...I don't know. We just have this weird connection, and I can't shake it. I want to be with you, but I don't even know if we can. I just can't let you go, Jade. We could have something on the down low, or I don't know...something."

"Reg would hate me…." I thought out loud.

"Jade, I know you love Regulus, but stop trying to make him happy and make yourself happy."

"But if Regulus is happy, I'm happy."

"Really? So if Regulus stopped being friends with you and it made him happy, you would be happy as well?" Sirius raised an eyebrow into his hairline.

"Well, when you put it like that…"

"Exactly. Stop trying to make everyone else happy and let yourself win for once."

I blinked slowly at Sirius. Let yourself win for once. Those words stuck in my thoughts, echoing throughout my conscious. I closed the distance between the two of us, my lips brushing softly against his. It wasn't quick and one-sided like when he kissed me in the hospital wing. It wasn't unnatural and wild like the empty classroom snog. It was a sweet and innocent kiss. All too soon, we broke apart, our breathing slow, our gazes hazy. During the all too brief time our lips were one, I forget about everything. All thoughts of Derek left my head, along with the memories of the fight with Mum. Even thoughts of Regulus evacuated my head. The only thing that occupied my thoughts was how Sirius smelled. He smelled like pine needles, coffee, and cigarettes.

I just realized how much I like the way pine needles, coffee and cigarettes smell.

-x-

Author's Ramblings

How's that for an update? Originally this was going to be a dull, boring, filler chapter but then the idea for all of this came to me and I ran with it. Not too much humor in this one, but I think the cute kiss at the end makes up for it, yeah? Looking back, I wish I hadn't written the empty classroom scene. It was awkward, not timed right, and just didn't make sense. This would have been a better first Jade/Sirius real kiss scene, don'tcha think? I think so anyway. Well, I'm sorry this took so long to write, and that this chapter is kind of short. I thought it was a good place to end. Anyway, it took so long because I wrote this chapter about four times until I was finally satisfied with this one. Hopefully (no promises, but there is a good chance) that Chapter 20 will be up relatively soon. I'm really excited to write Chapter 20, I think my lovely readers will really enjoy it. It'll be a good chapter for all you Reggie-Lovers. Speaking of that cutie, not a lot of Regulus in this chapter! ): The lack Regulus made this not as funny as other updates, I believe. Thank you so much to all my reviewers, you guys don't get enough credit. Your little reviews of wonderfulness remind me to start writing the next update! Oh, and I found the perfect song for Sirius. It's Mama by My Chemical Romance (I could talk about MCR forever, legit. But I can't believe it took my this long to figure out 'hey this sounds like Sirius and his Mama!'). It reminds me of him. Or of Jade's fight with her mom in this update! Alright, I stop boring you with my nonsense! Love you all!

xoxo

Author's Note 2.0:

Cleaned that Sirius/Jade scene the fuck up. It's so much better now, thank God.