"You're so lucky!" Bellatrix droned on, an edge of jealousy present in her tone. Despite her being such a neurotic psychopath, Bellatrix is probably my favorite cousin. Oh, I like Andromeda, don't get me wrong. She was a lot of fun when we were younger, but then she went and got hitched with that muggle, Tonks something or other. Well, she got blasted off the family tree, and now she assumes everyone in the family (save for Sirius, of course) hates her. I have to pretend I hate her too, so in turn, I don't talk to her anymore. Sometimes, I really hate myself. Why can't I be my own person for once?

"It's such an honor," I said with just a slight hint of enthusiasm, just to keep things convincing. Bella was in love with the fact that her very own cousin was joining the ranks of the Dark Lord. Hell, almost everyone in the family was in love with that idea. Oh, wait! They're forgetting about one persons opinion. Mine. When I was younger, I thought the Dark Arts were cool. I told Jade I stopped liking the Dark Arts back in third year. I lied to her (which is something I do very seldom). If we're being honest, I only really stopped enjoying the Dark Arts only this year. What changed my mind? This summer I had to torture an innocent muggle (I never told Jade this, but I've had meetings with Voldemort before. That's how I could torture the aforementioned muggle and not get caught by the ministry. He had them break the trace on my wand. He has people inside the ministry. Scary, I know. Those poor unsuspecting people out there have no idea their government has been infiltrated by the Dark Lord). Hearing that little seven year old scream really got to me. Even now, there's still something slightly appealing about the Dark Arts. There's a lot of power within them, it's just the matter of being able to control them.

But in my opinion, I don't think too many people that join Voldemort are evil. I firmly believe that the reason many Slytherins are easily convinced to join Voldemort is because we are treated like shit by the rest of the houses while we are growing up. Imagine spending seven of the most important years of your life being told that you are part of the bad house and therefore bad yourself. Everyone boos your quidditch team. All the houses will hang out with everyone except you. You grow up being hated by your fellow students and many of your teachers.

Now imagine someone comes along and tells you that you're not worthless and bad. That you're invited to join a family where you will right the wrongs committed against you. You have the opportunity to be wanted and powerful instead of a hated outcast. Several of your former classmates are telling you how great it is. How you're welcomed and needed. These are the kids you grew up with. The classmates who went through all the same things you did. Being a Death Eater sounds pretty good now, doesn't it? Well, that's how I see it. Maybe that's why I'm not too phased by the idea of become a Death Eater.

"Regulus? You keep staring off into space," Bellatrix waved a hand in front of my face, cackling in that Bellatrix like laugh. I have come to believe she has been cackling so menacingly since she was born. Maybe I'll ask Aunt Druella if she's always laughed like that.

"I'm sorry, I was thinking."

"About what, your girlfriend?" Bellatrix said saucily, exaggerating the word girlfriend. I rolled my eyes at her insolence.

"I do not have a girlfriend, Bella," I pointed out. "If you're referring to Jade, then you are sadly mistaken. We're just friends." Just friends.

"Okay then, Reggie-" I shot Bella the look of death. Only Jade can call me Reggie. God, I really hated that nickname. "Whatever you say," She cackled and walked off, probably to go harass some other innocent soul. I shook my head. I don't even know if Jade is coming tonight or not. I know that her parents told her no. There is no way in hell they told her yes. But, knowing Jade, she'll find someway to get here tonight. I sighed and sank deeper into the couch cushions. Hey, Aunt Druella, the 1800's called. They want their furniture back! Like most people in my family, my Aunt and Uncle's house is stuffy, formal, and ancient.

"Cissy, let me do your hair for you!" I could hear Bellatrix screech from upstairs. Females, and their need to spend hours getting ready for one stupid night. It was ridiculous. They don't need to do their hair, they should just leave it how it naturally is. It looks better that way anyway.

"No! I am perfectly capable of doing it myself! Get that away from me!" Narcissa shrieked back. Narcissa was probably the fakest person I know. She pretends to like the dark arts, when really, you can tell she could give two hippogriffs about it. She pretends to be in love with Lucius Malfoy, when you can tell she would leave him in a heartbeat if James Potter were to ask her to be his girlfriend. (Not that he ever would. It doesn't take a Ravenclaw to figure out he has a strong disliking of Slytherins.) Cissy pretends and fakes it through the day. She's not the selfish sort of fake either. She does it all to make others happy. I don't think anyone knows the real her. I'll have to get around to talking to her about my observations, (maybe not the James one? Girls always get so pissy when you bring up the boy they like) maybe she'll open up to me.

I could feel myself growing bored, just sitting. Jade thinks she has the attention span of a moth (which is very true in loads of situations) but she has no idea. I can't sit in the quiet for extended amounts of time, or I'll start to think. I'll think the thoughts I have worked so hard to drive out of my head. The you'll never be good enough thoughts. They'll just creep up on me and infect the rest of my conscious and then I end up doing nothing productive that day. I don't tell anyone I have these thoughts of self doubt and what not, because one, everyone will think I'm crazy (which I don't doubt I am. I'm messed up in the head. You could probably say I'm clinically depressed. Honestly, the only time I am actually, possibly happy is when I'm doing something incredibly juvenilely stupid with Jade) and two, it will make my parents look bad. You know, I have an image to maintain. I am their poster child, remember?

Screw this. Self pity is for the weak.

I picked myself off of the damn couch and walked up to the guest room where my things were. I've been stuck at Aunt and Uncle Cygnus' house for the past two days. I get to go home on the 27th. Joy. Becoming a Death Eater is what every sixteen year old wants for Christmas! I grabbed my broom off the top of my trunk. Yes, it's kind of cold to go for a fly, but I could use the numbing cold.

Mother of Merlin, it was cold. I flew through the icy wind that nipped at my exposed skin. I started to plummet to the ground via a steep dive but pulled out of it with the grace that all respectable seekers should have. I love being seeker, my brother once kindly told me in my fourth year that I liked being seeker so six other players could work their arses off while I take all the credit for winning. But the real reason I like being seeker is because it sets me apart from my family. As old and large as my family is, I'm the first Black to be a seeker. Can you believe that? They've all either been chasers, keepers, or beaters. What are the chances of that? It's sort of like my tiny way of rebelling against family tradition. It's stupid, I know, but still. Jade would make a fair seeker herself. She's built like one; small, thin and wiry. But, she's a beater, and a damn good one at that. I don't understand how such a small person can hit those bludgers so hard. I remember exactly how I convinced her to try out for quidditch.

"I will consider trying out if you get down on one knee, proclaim your undying love for me, ask for my hand in marriage, and say that I am the best quidditch player ever," Jade giggled at her request. I rolled my eyes at the sheer ridiculousness of it, but my breath caught in my throat.

"Jade Opal Potter, you are the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world, and you kick ass at quidditch. Which is why I've been in love with you, ever since I laid eyes on you. My heart beats for you and I hope you feel the same way about me, because I love you and want to take your dainty hand in marriage," I found myself on one knee, saying all the things I've wanted to say to her for the longest time.

"Get up, you're causing a scene," Her hand connecting with the back of my head.

"Stand here and greet the guests, Regulus," Mother said sharply, straightening my bow tie once again, even though it wasn't going to get any neater.

"Of course." This felt like a job a five year old would be appointed, but here I was, sixteen (almost seventeen) years old, greeting guests, as I was expected to. Remember, I'm Mummy and Daddy's golden boy, I have to make them look good. My own happiness aside, of course. As always. Family members and family friends trickled in, I used the same greeting every time. It was dull and boring. Every time the door opened, a small part of me would be filled with hope, thinking it was Jade, and every time that small part of me died when it was some distant relative wearing something horrendous.

"Hello, Aunt Dorea. Happy holidays," I said with fake cheer. Oh, how much I wanted to retreat back to the room I was staying in and finish that potions essay. This is why I'm so good at school. Because I use work as an excuse to escape being with my family.

"Where is your brother…er, Samuel?" She narrowed her eyes and glanced around, as if he would magically appear out of thin. Actually, I wouldn't put it past him to do something like that.

"Sirius," I corrected her. I gritted my teeth and bit my tongue. Did I really have to go on about how my brother ran away? Really? It's been what, two years? Yeah, two years. He ran away at the end of my fourth year. You would think everyone in the family would know that he had been incinerated off of the family tree. My family loves to gossip about those things.

"He is no longer a respectable member of our family, we do not associate with the likes of him," I mimicked the response my mother always told people when they asked about Sirius. Interest and curiosity filled the face of Aunt Dorea.

"Ohh, what happened?" Her voice dripping with nosiness. It made me sick. I refrained from rolling my eyes and telling her to sod the hell off.

"He ran away from home to go be with the blood traitors," I said blankly, not showing emotion. I don't let my family see how much I miss my brother.

"Then leave!" Mother screamed pointing to the door. She stormed off to who knows where. Probably going to go cry in the drawing room. Sirius thinks Mum has no emotions at all, but he has no idea. She's one of the most emotional people I know. He has no idea how much he makes her cry. She thinks no one can hear her sniffling in there, but walls are thin. I can hear her. I opened my bedroom door a little bit more, and saw Sirius standing there stony-faced, in the doorway of his room. His eyes flickered to my face that was peering from behind my door.

"What do you want?" He growled. I'm pretty sure I flinched visibly at his words.

"Nothing…" I muttered and closed my door, but not all the way. Just a crack was left open, so I could see if he left. I could hear him storming around his room. My bedroom door flew open, knocking me back. I stumbled and saw Sirius. I looked at him with questioning eyes.

"I need to use your window, it's the only one that leads out to the garden," He jerked his head towards my open window. I already knew why he was leaving via window. Because if he tried to use the front door, someone would stop him. He's tried and failed to leave through the front door many times, and it hasn't worked any of the times. I stared at him blankly. Sirius didn't wait for my response and walked over to the window. He probably was going to scale down the trellis that was filled with ugly puke-yellow roses. It would be the easiest way out. So he was actually going to leave? For good? I remember when I was four and Sirius was five, and it was storming out, he would always come over to me room, where I would be scared out of my mind from the thunder. He would always lay with me until I fell asleep. Sometimes I would stay up, just to talk to him about whatever my little four year old mind could come up with. After the storm would pass over and I would still be awake, Sirius would try and leave and I would beg him not to go.

"Don't go," I heard myself say, even though I don't remember thinking those words. Those two words stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Why should I stay?" He narrowed his eyes at me. Why should he stay? He should stay because I'm his little brother, I love him. I need him. But, he's not happy here. He hates it here. He probably hates me. It would be selfish of me to make him stay where he least wants to be. He deserves to be happy.

"Never mind…"

"He ran away did he? Who is he living with now?" Aunt Dorea's face washed over with a look of complete nosiness and interest. I may look calm on the outside, but on the inside I have beaten her with a bludger bat about seven times.

"The Potter's," I spat, just like Mother would of. She would be so proud.

"Oh. Right foul lot he's with. Although, if he's a blood traitor himself, then he deserves it." Aunt Dorea droned on and eventually left, probably to go bother someone else. I stood in the foyer for what felt like forever. How did I get stuck doing this again? I contemplated leaving to go attend the party. Mother couldn't get too mad at me; I've been here longer than any human should have to endure.

"Regulus!" A girly screech filled my ear drums as I was smothered in a hug. I swear to God, I couldn't breath.

"Can't…breathe…." I gasped out. She just hugged and squeezed me harder. This isn't going well.

"Regulus, I've missed you so much! How've you been?"

"Autumn, I can't breathe!" It felt like my lungs were going to explode. I peeled my second cousin twice removed (something along those lines, I don't know) off of me and inhaled fresh oxygen. Ah. Relief.

"Regulus, you're too funny!" She slapped my shoulder a little too flirtatiously for a family member. Although, it's probably been ingrained into her head that me and her are going to get married and have lots of inbred death eater babies that will rule the world. Our parents' have been trying to set me up with her for ages.

"Haha, yeah…" I trailed off and listened to her talk a mile a minute. I don't even know what she was talking about. Something about bananas?

"Jade," A small gasp left my mouth as my best friend walked through the front door. She looked absolutely stunning. It was a breath of fresh air, seeing someone wearing something from this century. Her dress was emerald green (I remember buying that dress with her. I picked it out, actually. She told me she wanted something as Slytherin as possible) with clusters of silver gems here and there. Her dark brown curls (still with faint hints of green. I never undid those highlights for her because I liked them. I think they suit her) were just loose and wild. No makeup was found on her face. It was perfect.

"Thank you," I watched her look over her shoulder and mouth those words. The faint pop of apparition could be heard. She turned her head back towards me and a grin broke out across her face.

"Happy Christmas," I said to her as she came over and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her small waist and I honestly didn't want to let go. Her hair smelled like oranges…and cigarettes? But she doesn't smoke…unless she picked up that habit without telling me..

"I've missed you," She broke the hug and looked up at me. God, was she short. I looked over at Autumn, who was giving Jade the look of death. Jade most of noticed this too, because she started laughing.

"I promise, I won't steal your man," Jade looked over at Autumn, giving her the most serious face she could manage. Autumn gave her an indifferent sniff and walked into the parlor, where the party was being held.

"Thank Merlin you came, I would have been stuck with my psychotic family all by myself, and I couldn't handle that."

"It was a struggle to get here, to be honest." Jade launched into detail about her journey here, and the big argument she had with her mum.

"You didn't have to go all that trouble for little ol' me," I put my hand against my heart and smiled at her. It was good to talk to my best friend in the flesh, rather than through owl. Besides, I shouldn't even be owling her in the first place. Mum doesn't want any of those "ruddy birds flying in and out of my home while we are expecting the Dark Lord." Ridiculous, I tell you.

"I'd do anything for you, Reggie."

"Does that include a drunken one night stand?" I waggled my eyebrows suggestively at her.

"Oh hot damn, of course it does," She laughed and started walking towards the parlor. Well. I guess my job of greeting people is over.

"I have to go introduce you to Mum first, then you can mingle with the others," I grabbed Jade's elbow and tugged her gently towards my parents.

"What? I've already met them how many times?"

"I'm surprised you haven't caught on yet. Haven't you noticed that I introduce you every time you're with me?" I shook my head.

"I suppose you're right about that…" Jade looked around the parlor with wide eyes, taking in all of the ancient dresses and antique furnishings. The furniture was pushed against the walls, so there was room to dance. Honestly, no one was really dancing and Jade stuck out like a sore thumb, in her modern clothing.

"Mother, this is Jade Potter. You've met her before," I motioned a hand towards Jade.

"Hello, Mrs. Black. Happy Christmas," Jade smiled and shook my mothers hand. She's so cute when she tries to be formal. Mum looked Jade over, even though we've gone through this routine six thousand times in the past.

"You're the Potter girl, correct?"

"Yes Ma'am," Jade bit her lip nervously. She looks like a puppy that is about to be kicked off of a bridge into a pool of fire.

"Regulus talks very highly of you, you can drop the Ma'am." I think something just hit the floor…my jaw. I still have to call my Mum ma'am! Eh, maybe it's because Jade is a female and Mum has always favored girls. She always wanted a daughter. The doctor told my parents I was going to be a girl. They painted my nursery pink and everything. Turned out I wasn't the little girl they always wanted. See, I've been disappointing people since they day I was born. Jade looked as taken back as I did. Mother left to go talk to other people, leaving Jade and I alone.

"Want to dance and get this party going? It's dead in here," Jade asked, looking around at the lack of excitement this gathering had.

"Sure why no-" Jade pulled me out onto the dance floor, which was completely empty, and the only sounds were the string quartet that was playing and the small conversations my family members were holding. I felt the eyes of curious onlookers watch us. I held Jade's tiny waist as she wrapped her arms around my neck, lacing her finger behind it. We swayed back and forth to the music. Slow dancing is so easy, I don't understand why I was made to take dancing lessons as a child. A hippogriff could do it, it's that easy.

"So how's your holiday going?" I asked. Other pairs of people trickled onto the dance floor. I pulled Jade closer to me, just a little bit. Not enough that she would think anything of it, but enough that I could pretend that we were more than friends. Why is it that some people can't see a good thing when it's standing right in front of them? Honestly, I think I would treat her better than any of her past romantic interests. Better than that Ravenclaw in second year. Better than Jonas did last year. A hell of a lot better than Derek friggin' Pacheco did. I know all of her favorite things. I listen to her and laugh at her dirty jokes. I wouldn't dump her on Christmas Eve (cough, Ravenclaw guy, cough). I wouldn't leave her for some girl I met at the bar (cough, Jonas, cough). I wouldn't manipulate her and use her (cough, Derek, cough). But alas, here I am. Just friends. That's okay though. I know I'm lucky to just be able to call her my friend.

"Hello?" She hadn't answered me. "Jade? Bitty? Hellllllloooooooooooooooooooo?"

"What?" Jade looked up at me and blinked. She had not a vacant look, more of a I was thinking about other things and you interrupted my train of thought look. She looked distant.

"Are you alright? Are you feeling okay?" I put a hand to her forehead. She didn't feel like she was running a fever.

"Yeah...I just," Jade bit her lip nervously. Oh shit. "Can we talk?" She averted my gaze and took interest in the floor. Shit shit shit.

"Of course, what's wrong?"

"Come with me," She pulled me towards the French doors that opened up to the back patio. A million thoughts flooded my head as we walked towards those doors.

"Regulus, I hate your guts and I've only pretended to be your friend because I feel sorry for you," I shook that thought away. No. That's not it.

"Regulus, I'm pregnant." Motherfuck, that would be a nightmare.

"Regulus, Sirius and I are madly in love with each other and we actually have been all year, but we just came to terms with our feelings." That is just ridiculous. Jade and Sirius barely even talk, they could never fancy each other. They never interact with each other, and when they do, it's when they are arguing or yelling at each other or when she's drunk. I mean, there was that kiss in the Hospital wing, but she said that didn't mean anything.

"Regulus, I have a confession. I've fancied you for awhile, but I never wanted to ruin our friendship, but I'm willing to risk that for a relationship with you because I care about you. As more than friends." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I wish.

"Regulus. I know you fancy the pants off of me." Shit. That's probably what this is about.

"Jade?" I took a shaky breath.

"Regulus," She looked up at me, her blue eyes dancing with the threat of tears. Oh God, don't cry. "You know that I love you. You're my best friend."

"Don't beat around the bush." I said grimly.

"Reg…I…Sirius and I. We have feelings for each other."

Each word rang in my ears. And the award for Most Pathetic Life goes to Regulus Black.

"What?" I said dumbly, even though I knew exactly what she said.

"Sirius and I…we like each other, Regulus."

It hurt just to look at her. Tears stung my eyes, but I choked them back. No, I will not cry. I don't care if the girl I love just told me that her and my casa nova brother fancy each other. I don't care that he is better than me in every single way, and now that she likes him, I stand no chance. Sirius always wins. Always. Before he went all Gryffindor, he was Mum and Dad's favorite son. Hard to believe I know. And now he has Jade too. My Jade. My best friend. I shouldn't be this hurt. I shouldn't feel like my heart is lodged in my throat. I'm that person who everyone replaces after a while. I should of known it was only a matter of time before Jade replaced me too. My thoughts were racing, but I couldn't say anything.

"Regulus, don't be mad…." Jade chewed her lip, like she always did when she was nervous.

"You…just told me you fancy the person who you know put me through a lot of pain. The person who you know left me and replaced me with another brother. The person who you know likes to make my life living hell. You're telling me to not be mad? Of course I'm going to be upset. I'm sure right now, all you want is for me to tell you everything is going to be okay. Well guess what, Jade. It's not. It's not going to be okay."

-x-

Author's Note!

HOLY SHIT. AN UPDATE! Can you believe it? I can't. This took *forever* to write. Oh and incase any of you were completely lost this chapter, it's told from Regulus' point of view. I hope you all would of figured that one out. So yeah, about the lack of update…real life got in the way. I can't be on the computer past 9 (bullshit, I know. That puts an end to my late night blogging…) and I can only be on the computer for like 2 hours a day. I'm kind of dying right now, from internet withdrawal. So yeah, I don't know when the next chapter will be up\: And thank you too all my readers and a special thank you to all my reviewers, I love when I get your little emails :D Alright, I'll wrap this up. Oh, and sorry for the cliff hanger. I'm such a stupid bitch, aren't I? :D

xoxox

AUTHOR'S NOTE 2.0

REVISIONS ARE DONE. NEW CHAPTER WILL BE ADDED WITHIN THE NEXT COUPLE DAYS I PINKY PROMISE.