There's four different stories being told here, so please make sure you read the notes at the change of every section as the POV changes, as does the year. If you really want to feel this one, playing the song (Tangled up in you by Staind) while reading it will probably do it. And if that doesn't work, try the Bing Crosby song at the end! hehe I was so sad writing this, the closer we get to the end of the one-year deal the harder it is to write. But ... fortunately a lot of the endgame stuff is already written!
You're my world
The shelter from the rain
You're the pills
That take away my pain
You're the light
That helps me find my way
You're the words
When I have nothing to say
And in this world
Where nothing else is true
Here I am
Still tangled up in you
I'm still tangled up in you
Still tangled up in you
A VERY SUPERNATURAL CHRISTMAS
Ypsilanti, Michigan
-Present Day-
Dean's POV
I was taking notes in my book, listening intently to the woman in front of me. We were standing on the steps of a regular house, in a regular suburb, surrounded by other regular houses all decked out and ready for Christmas. The woman in front of me was looking strained and tired, she probably hadn't slept in days. Beth and I were questioning her, while Sam took a look around inside.
"Um, my daughter and I were in our beds. Mike was downstairs decorating the tree. I heard a thump on the roof and then I heard Mike scream... and now I'm talking to the FBI," she said with her arms crossed over her chest.
"And you didn't see any of it?" I asked, looking up at her. She shook her head at me.
"No, he was... he was just gone," she answered, tears forming in her eyes.
"The doors were locked?" Beth asked from beside me, turning her compassionate eyes toward Mrs Walsh. "There was no forced entry?" It was a complicated case this one, there was no sign of any foul play other than the fact that her husband was missing.
"That's right," Mrs Walsh said with a nod.
"Does anybody else have a key?" I asked, gazing over at the little girl who was staring out the window at us. It was a tough time of year to have a parent missing, I really felt for the kid.
"My parents," Mrs Walsh answered.
"Where do they live?" I asked curiously.
"Florida," she said. Well that was a bust then. Sam walked out of the door as we were talking. He shook his head at us almost imperceptibly, moving to stand beside us on the porch.
"Thanks for letting me have a look around Mrs. Walsh. I think we, uh, got just about everything we need. We're all set," he said, pulling at the tie around his neck.
"We'll be in touch," I said to her and she nodded, sniffing back a few tears. We turned and walked down the stairs, my mind already skipping ahead to what we needed to do next; there were people to question, police to check in with, and research to be done, and sometime during all this I had to get to the shops because I had a special present for Beth in mind.
"Agents..." she called out after us, interrupting my thought process. We turned to look back at her, standing on the pavement leading down to the road.
"The police said my husband might have been kidnapped?" She said, barely holding it together.
"Could be," I answered, the truth was, we didn't know what had happened to him, nor was she ever likely to find out.
"Then why haven't the kidnappers called? O-or – or demanded a ransom?" She asked, shaking her head at us. "It's three days till Christmas. What am I supposed to tell our daughter?"
I looked over at Beth, catching a glance she shared with Sam. She turned sad eyes to Mrs Walsh and her lip turned up slightly in a sympathetic look. "We're very sorry," she said, leaving it at that. There really wasn't much more you could say.
Taking Beth's arm, I led us down the stairs away from the house, Sam following.
"Did you find anything?" I asked him, tossing a glance back in his direction. Sam sighed and shrugged.
"Stockings, mistletoe... this," he pulled a hand out of his jacket pocket and put a tiny little white item in my hand. I looked at it and scrunched up my nose.
"A tooth?" I asked, passing it to Beth to have a look at. "Where was this?"
"In the chimney," Sam answered, looking nonchalant.
"Chimney?" I asked incredulously. "No way a man fits up a chimney, it's too narrow."
"No way he fits up in one piece," Beth commented with a grimace.
"All right, so if dad went up the chimney..." I trailed off, shuddering at the thought. There could be any number of things that might be responsible for taking humans and eating them, or worse. But I'd never heard of any creature that dragged their victims out of the house via the chimney.
"We need to find out what dragged him up there," Sam said. I glanced over at Beth who was shaking her head, our lives seriously couldn't get any stranger.
Motel Room
I came through the motel room door carrying a paper bag full of supplies. The room was in full research mode. Pictures of demons were pinned over the wall, Beth was adding to them as Sam sat at the computer reading articles on a website. I glanced around thinking there was something wrong with this picture. It was three days until Christmas, normally Beth would be decorating the room with mistletoe and Christmas lights in our preparation for the annual pilgrimage to South Dakota where we spent the holidays at Bobby's and went to midnight mass. She hadn't even mentioned it yet, and it was starting to concern me.
"So was I right?" I asked, dumping the bag on the small table by the window. "Is it the serial-killing chimney sweep?" I smirked at the pair of them but they turned serious eyes in my direction.
"Yep," Sam answered. "It's, uh, it's actually Dick Van Dyke," he said.
"Who?" I asked, having no idea what he was talking about, who the hell was Dick Van Dyke? Wasn't he an actor on TV?
"Mary Poppins," Beth supplied, smiling in my direction. I looked at her wondering what the hell she and Sam had been smoking.
"Who's that?" I asked, frowning.
"Oh come on …" Sam spluttered at me, incredulous. I raised my eyebrow, almost daring him to call me stupid. "Never mind," he said, waving his hand in resignation.
I shrugged and walked further into the room, shrugging out of my leather jacket. "It turns out Walsh is the second guy in town grabbed out of his house this month," I said.
"Oh yeah?" Beth asked, moving to intercept me, slipping her arms around my waist with a smile.
"Yeah," I said seriously, licking my lips as I stared down into her eyes. Three days to Christmas and not a sprig of mistletoe in sight. At least that gave me an excuse to kiss her when we were on the job. Not that I needed an excuse. I decided I'd have to remedy that.
"The other guy get dragged up the chimney too?" She asked, watching me.
"Don't know," I said, shrugging and resting my arms over her shoulders. "Witnesses said they heard a thump on the roof, but that's about it." I finished before looking over at Sam. "So, what the hell do you think we're dealing with?"
"Actually, I have an idea," Sam answered, ignoring us as I pulled Beth up against my body, kissing the top of her head.
"Yeah?" I asked, looking at him curiously.
"Uh, it's gonna sound crazy," Sam said with a raised eyebrow.
I chuckled and shook my head. "What could you possibly say that sounds crazy to me?" I asked. Sam smirked, looking down at the floor and then back at us.
"Um... evil Santa," he answered, pursing his lips. I paused, a little taken aback. Yeah ok, maybe there was something he could say that sounded crazy after all.
"Yeah, that's crazy," Beth murmured from where she had her head resting against my chest, cuddled in close.
"Yeah... I mean, I'm just saying that there's some version of the anti-Claus in every culture," Sam said, handing me a stack of printed out pictures of different demonic looking creatures. I took the pictures in one hand, still holding on to Beth as she refused to move.
"You got Belsnickel, Krampus, Black Peter," Sam explained, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees. "Whatever you want to call it, there's all sorts of lore."
"Saying what?" I asked, glancing over at him and flipping through the photos as I held them out behind Beth's back so I could keep my arms around her.
"Saying back in the day, Santa's brother went rogue and now he shows up around Christmas time, but instead of bringing presents, he punishes the wicked." Sam said.
"So much for leaving a lump of coal in your stocking," Beth muttered, frowning as she turned to look at the pictures.
"So he punishes them by pulling their asses up chimneys?" I questioned.
"For starters, yeah," Sam said with a nod.
I frowned, looking at the pictures in front of me. "So this is your theory huh? Santa's shady brother?" I asked asked, holding one of the pictures up to Sam.
"Well, I'm just saying that's what the lore says," Sam answered.
"Santa doesn't have a brother," I said with another frown. "There is no Santa."
"Yeah, I know," Sam snapped, sighing at me. "You're the one who told me that in the first place, remember?" He looked straight at me, the disappointment in his eyes clear. I looked down, breaking the gaze: Christmas had for many years as children been a major disappointment for us. It hadn't been until Beth joined the family that things had started to look up in that area: we'd started enjoying it like a real family.
"You know what, I could be wrong," Sam said to us, sighing, and closing the laptop, he sat back on the couch with a resigned shrug of his shoulders. "I could be wrong..." he muttered. I gazed around at all the pictures on the walls and grimaced.
"Maybe, maybe not," I said, looking from him down to Beth who had turned around again and was currently running her hands up and down my back sending all manner of thought into my mind.
"What?" Beth asked, seeing the twinkle in my eye that I always got when I was on to something.
"I did a little digging. Turns out both victims visited the same place before they got snatched," I said, proud of my discovery.
"Where?" Sam and Beth asked together, looking at me curiously. I smirked. They weren't going to believe this. But maybe it was just what the doctor ordered for the pair of Grinches.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
-Christmas 1996 -
Dean's POV
"I already told you, young lady, that we don't do Christmas," Dad's stubbornness had once again shattered whatever fantasy world we managed to live in sometimes – whatever glimpse we got of a normal life. Beth huffed and stormed up the steps to Bobby's house, slamming the door as she went inside. I turned and raised an eyebrow at Dad, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Well that went well," I commented wryly, and Dad tossed me a frustrated look, running a hand through his hair. He and Beth had been arguing for the last fifty miles about Christmas. It was three days away and true to Dad's nature, it hadn't even been mentioned. I couldn't recall when he'd just stopped making even half an effort, but it had to have been in the last four or so years, once Sam hit puberty and stopped believing in Santa.
When Beth had brought up midnight mass on Christmas Eve, Dad had dismissed it, not giving any thought whatsoever to the fact that he now had a daughter that had been raised by a minister. Any normal person would have taken that into account before outright dismissing Beth's wishes to celebrate the season, but not Dad: where he was concerned, his word was final, and we were to fall into line.
I sighed, shaking my head. It wasn't my place to question Dad, I'd learned that the hard way. But at the same time I had to wonder sometimes why he was so determined not to allow us any sort of semblance of a normal life, even for short moments like at Christmas – instead the constant denials lay heavily in the heart, kept us wanting more.
Dad stormed off into the junk-yard and I trudged up the stairs to Bobby's house. The sounds of Beth sobbing as I walked in the door were enough to make me reconsider not questioning Dad's orders. She was in the library, crying in Cole's arms, Sam sitting nearby looking angry. When I walked in she looked up, scrubbing at her eyes and sniffing back tears. If it had been Dad she'd have been reprimanded for letting her emotions get the better of her.
"It's only me," I said with an apologetic smile. Beth burst into fresh tears and crossed the room, wrapping her arms around my waist. I sighed again and put my arms around her, shushing her as I ran a hand up and down her back. Cole glared over at me and started to pace the room.
"Where is he? I'm going to rip him a new one!" She snapped, clearly referring to Dad.
"Out in the yard, but don't go causing any more issues Cole, things are bad enough as they are," I said, frowning at her and looking down at Beth to make my point. Cole sucked in a breath and sighed, stuffing her hands in her jeans pockets.
"Well I for one think we should get to have a Christmas," Sam stated, standing up and joining Cole. They looked at each other conspiratorially and nodded. I swallowed: Oh boy, things could get nasty with these two on the loose.
"Come on guys, I know it's not easy, but this is Dad you're talking about. This is the life we live." I tried to reason with them even though my heart wasn't really in it. Beth had stopped crying, but she hadn't pulled back either, still resting her head against my chest and holding on. She felt good in my arms, and I noticed that I hadn't made any effort to let her go either. I groaned internally: I was so going to Hell one day and Dad was going to put me there; this really wouldn't do.
"Well I can't see the problem with having a little family celebration for Christmas," Cole snapped, starting to pace the room. "We're not talking a road trip ala Chevy Chase style here. We're talking Christmas Eve Mass..." she grimaced behind Beth's back at that comment. "...and maybe a nice dinner and some presents. It's not freaking rocket science! Dad's as bad as John, we don't do anything either!"
"And we should," Sam said, crossing his arms and looking at me pointedly. "Beth's Dad had a midnight mass every year, we should go to the one here in Sioux Falls."
Beth nodded against my chest and I looked down at her with a sigh. "Yeah I know," I said with a groan. Dad was going to kill me, I was siding with the natives again. It was worth it just to see her smile. "We'll figure it out, all right?" I said softly to Beth, earning me another smile and slight nod.
"Thank you," she said quietly, pulling me tight again.
Santa's Village
Ypsilanti, Michigan
-Present Day-
Beth's POV
Dean had been watching me like a hawk for the last day, and I know he thought it was odd that I hadn't brought up Christmas Eve yet. It wasn't a coincidence that we were in Michigan: a twelve hour drive to Sioux Falls. He was waiting for me to get the bug; but no matter how I tried, I just wasn't feeling it this year, my heart was heavy and ached with the knowledge that this time next year, he'd be gone. I'd be alone: the thought terrified me.
Santa's Village, which is where Dean had brought us, was a little lack lustre. The day was dreary, Christmas music played over the speakers, and old wooden decorations were scattered around the property. The old worn sign invited us in, but I felt anything except welcome, cut trees lined the walls of a building for purchase, while children ran away from their parents. I watched an employee dressed as a reindeer wander past looking unimpressed and bored as he exchanged a greeting with another employee dressed as an elf. Yeah, this place was rocking the Christmas spirit.
"If does kind of lend credence to the theory, don't it?" Dean commented, obviously noticing the same things I was.
"Yeah, but anti-Claus?" I asked sceptically. "Couldn't be."
"Eh, it's a Christmas miracle," Dean said, continuing to walk into the village as we followed. He turned to look back at Sam and me as we walked. "Hey, speaking of which, we're going to Sioux Falls after we're done here right? Midnight Mass?"
I hesitated, looking up at Sam, the same expression was on his face. Sam scoffed and shook his head. "Yeah, I don't know Dean," he said hesitantly.
"What? Come on, we do it every year!" Dean insisted and I looked at him.
"Yeah, and you complain about having to go to Mass every year." I pointed out, stuffing my hands into my jacket, I knew he liked it even with the complaints, but he'd never threatened to drag us there before.
"What are you talking about?" Dean asked, brushing it off. "I love it."
Sam laughed wryly and looked over at Dean. "What Christmas are you talking about?"
"Oh, come on, Sam. Beth." He was looking at us with his big, sad, hopeful eyes. I couldn't not indulge him, it was his last Christmas. Regardless of how I was feeling, what right did I have to take that away from him? I put a smile on my face and nodded, patting Sam gently on the back before I walked over to Dean and kissed him softly.
"Okay, if that's what you want to do, we'll do it." I said, and the relief in his eyes was worth having to fake my way through this season. I'd do anything for him to be happy.
"Sam?" He asked, looking over at our little brother. Sam sighed and shook his head.
"No, just... no," he said quietly, his shoulders slumping. He gave me a look that pretty much said he thought I was being irresponsible again, indulging in Dean's delusions that everything was going to be okay.
Dean scowled and sighed at his brother. "All right, Grinch," he said, starting to walk away. I threw Sam a sad smile, wrapping my arm around Dean's waist and slipping under his shoulder to walk cuddled up to him. Sam sighed and stared after us.
Blue Earth, Minnesota
A few days before Christmas, 1991
Beth's POV
"I don't want you to go!" I whined at Dad, who sighed and crouched down in front of me.
"I know Beth, but I have a job to do, you don't want me to neglect my duties to help people who need it, do you?" He asked.
I stared into his brown eyes. "No..." I muttered, pouting at him as that feeling of guilt washed into me. There were other people out there who needed Dad's help more than I needed to have him with me, even if it was Christmas.
"You'll have fun with Pastor Jim, you won't even miss me," Dad said, looking up at the kindly man who was listening in next to us.
"That's right Beth, you can help me decorate the tree in the church, and we need to set up the nativity, you remember how much you like doing that?" He said with a smile. I nodded silently, I did love setting up the nativity, it was my favourite part of Christmas.
Looking back at my Dad I kissed him on the cheek, he smiled at me and ruffled a hand through my hair, to which I groaned. "Dad! Don't mess up my hair!" I said, patting at it and smoothing it out again. Dad chuckled, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"Sorry baby girl," he said.
I sighed again, and Dad looked at me, concern in his eyes. "What is it?"
"I miss Mom," I said, biting my lip. This would be our third Christmas without her and I was starting to realise that no matter how much I prayed for a miracle, she wasn't coming back.
Dad's eyes flooded with tears and he pulled me in for a hug. "I know you do Beth, I do too, every day," he said sadly, squeezing me tight.
Pastor Jim patted him on the shoulder as he pulled away and stood up. "Well, miracles can happen at this time of year." Pastor Jim said. Dad nodded quietly and then tossed a look back at a man who was waiting in the doorway behind us.
"Yeah, you never know, right Jim?" Dad said, a small smile coming to his face. "Wish us luck." Pastor Jim nodded and waved to the man in the door. I turned to stare at him, he looked familiar, but I couldn't remember where I'd seen him before. He had scruffy dark hair and kind eyes. I instantly liked him, and I had no idea why.
"You be good," Dad said to me and I huffed, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms.
"I'm always good, Dad," I answered, shaking my head. He chuckled and hugged me one more time. He walked down the aisle of the church and I panicked, chasing after him, grabbing him around the leg and holding on tight.
"Don't go Dad, pleeease! I don't want to be on my own for Christmas!" I begged. Dad stopped and picked me up, holding me up to his height effortlessly.
"Beth, we've been over this..." he said, looking at me sternly. I pouted again, and felt the hot sting of tears threatening to start.
"Mom would never leave me alone for Christmas!" I said, shoulders starting to shake with silent sobs.
Dad stood me on one of the pews, so I could look into his eyes without him leaning over. He smoothed out my hair and kissed my eyes. "I promise to be back for Christmas Eve, okay?" He said, looking over at the man who was waiting by the door. "What do you think?"
The man nodded and smiled, "Oh I think we can manage that," he answered in a deep voice.
I beamed a smile at both of them and clapped my hands, hugging Dad again. "I love you Daddy," I said as he pulled away.
"I love you too baby girl, I'll see you in a few days." Then he was gone, walking out the door of the church with the mystery man, and I turned to find Pastor Jim next to me, looking thoughtful.
"One day, I hope you'll understand how important it is that your Dad is going away right now," he said quietly to me. I gazed curiously at him, not understanding. "Come on, let's go make some Christmas cookies!" Pastor Jim said, holding his hand out to me. I smiled and took it, jumping down from the seat I was standing on.
"Shortbread?" I asked, hopeful.
"Is there any other kind of Christmas cookie?" He asked with a chuckle, I shook my head and skipped ahead of him, giggling. I always enjoyed Christmases with Pastor Jim, even if I did miss my Dad.
Motel Room
Broken Bow, Nebraska
Christmas Eve (Morning), 1991
Sam's POV
I took the necklace and started to wrap it up in old newspaper while I watched the Christmas show on TV. I was really happy to have something that I could give Dad when he got back to see us.
"What is that?" Dean asked from his spot by the window. He'd been standing there on and off for the last day, watching as people came and went from the motel. It was snowing, and he'd been staring out the window for the last hour, lost in thought.
"A present for Dad," I answered, sticking the edges of the paper down with tape.
"Yeah, right," Dean scoffed. "Where'd you get the money? Steal it?" He looked over at me, raising an eyebrow.
"No. Uncle Bobby gave it to me to give to him. Said it was real special," I answered. We'd been on the road a few weeks since seeing Uncle Bobby and Cole, but even in the middle of December I'd been conscious of the fact that Christmas was coming, and I'd wanted something special to give to Dad.
"What is it?" Dean asked, looking over curiously.
"A pony," I quipped with a smile, sometimes I liked to deliberately irritate Dean when he was annoying me.
Dean rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Yeah, right." He walked around the end of the couch and fell down on the cushion with a sigh. I turned to him as he took up a magazine and started to flip through it.
"Dad's gonna be here, right?" I asked.
"He'll be here," Dean answered, looking at me. He was always so confident, but I didn't believe him. This was Dad we were talking about.
"It's Christmas," I pointed out. It was Christmas Eve and there had been no sign of Dad for a good three days since he'd left. Instead we were stuck in this dingy little motel room on our own, not a bit of Christmas cheer around other than the snow outside, and the movie on the TV.
"He knows and he'll be here. Promise," Dean said to me before turning back to his magazine.
"Where is he anyway?" I asked. Dean never told me where Dad went, they were both so secretive. I wasn't stupid, I knew something was going on.
"On business," Dean answered non-committally.
"What kind of business?" I asked, pressing for more information.
"You know that," Dean said with a frustrated sigh. "He sells stuff."
"What kind of stuff?" I asked, knowing deep down that the answer to these questions was always the same from Dean. I don't know why I bothered, but there was a stubborn streak in me that just had to know, had to keep pushing for the truth.
"Stuff!" Dean huffed at me.
"Nobody ever tells me anything," I complained, looking down at the package I had just wrapped. Dean rolled his eyes at me.
"Then quit asking!" He said, standing up and walking over to the bed which was covered in old fast food containers and other junk. Dean pushed it off the bed on to the floor, opening his magazine and trying to ignore me. I wasn't about to let it go that easily.
"Is Dad a spy?" I asked, kneeling on the couch and looking over at Dean.
"Mm-hmm. He's James Bond." Dean said, nodding and looking up at me as he pursed his lips.
"Why do we move around so much?" I asked. It always confused me, we weren't in any trouble, that I knew of, I didn't understand any of it.
"'Cause everywhere we go, they get sick of your face," Dean snapped at me. I sighed, and jumped over the back of the couch to face Dean.
"I'm old enough Dean. You can tell me the truth," I said, hoping that today might be the day he gave in.
"You don't wanna know the truth, believe me," Dean said, looking straight at me.
I paused, watching him and thinking. Taking a breath, I asked what was really on my mind. "Is that why we never talk about... Mom?"
Dean tossed the magazine away, standing up and looking angrily at me. "Shut up! Don't you ever talk about Mom. Ever!" Dean yelled at me. I flinched, and looked at him confused. I never got to talk about Mom, I never got to do anything. I might as well have been a mushroom because that's how I was treated, kept in the dark and fed bullshit all day long. Dean stepped back, a conflicted look on his face. Then he grit his teeth, sighing and heading for the door.
"Wait, where are you going?" I asked as he opened it.
"Out!" Dean answered, shutting the door behind him and leaving me alone in the room. Great. Typical Christmas, alone. Even Dean was mad at me, and he was the one constant in my life. He was always there for me.
Santa's Village
Ypsilanti, Michigan
-Present Day-
Sam's POV
I hadn't moved since Dean and Beth walked away, I was still stuck in the memories of old Christmases that had been disappointing and sad. I felt a hand grab my arm and looked down to find Beth had come back to get me.
"Hey," she said with a smile. I smiled back at her and put my arm around her shoulders, tucking her under me. She fit really easily, I was so much taller than her. It hadn't always been this way. When she'd first joined us we'd been similar heights, but I'd grown taller, she hadn't.
Dean wandered back to us frowning. "You'd think with the ten bucks it cost to get into this place, Santa could scrounge up a little snow," he complained, looking around at the barren ground. He wasn't wrong there, for Michigan, it was incredibly lacking in the white Christmas department.
"What are we looking for again?" Dean asked, his green eyes looking around at our surroundings. He was fidgety and clearly wanting to get into the hunt.
"Um... lore says that the anti-Claus will walk with a limp and smell like sweets," I answered, looking around.
"Great. So we're looking for a pimp Santa," Dean said. "Why the sweets?"
"Think about it Dean," Beth said from beside me. "If you smell like candy, the kids will come closer, you know?" He looked at her and shuddered.
"That's...creepy," he said. Beth snorted and pulled away, taking us both by an arm and starting to walk again.
"Works on you," she said to Dean, grinning. Dean tossed her a wicked smile back and leaned in to kiss her neck. It was tender and lingering, I'd noticed them doing it a lot, constant touches and kisses as they went about their daily grind. They were never too far from each other and it broke my heart knowing that I was reason for it, it was my death that had brought us all to this.
"True," he said with a chuckle, his eyes soft and loving as he looked at her.
I shook my head at them, they were incorrigible. "So, how does this thing know who's been naughty and nice?" Beth asked, looking around and pulling us back to the job at hand.
"I don't know," I answered, frowning. We'd stopped in front of Santa's House, and a creepy old man in a Santa suit was sitting out the front, mothers were dragging their helpless kids up to sit on his lap. A woman and a young boy walked up to him and Santa spoke to him in a sleazy mumbling voice.
"So, Ronny, come sit on Santa's knee," he said and the boy perched on the man's lap. "Ah, there you go. You been a good boy this year?" He asked, looking at the kid.
"Yeah," the boy replied with a nod.
"Good. Santa's got a special gift for you," he said, chuckling away as he pinched the boy's cheek. Beth grimaced, looking at the scene, the mother of the boy seemed to feel the same way because she reached out and took her son by the arm, leading him away from Santa.
"Maybe we do," Dean said thoughtfully, his mind on the job, and noting the same thing I had noticed. Santa was making a list and checking it twice.
A woman in an elf suit walked up and looked at Dean and Beth expectantly. Dean raised an eyebrow at her questioningly.
"Welcome to Santa's Court. Can I escort your child to Santa?" She asked. Beth froze, her hand on my arm tightening as she battled with that statement. It was a reminder that we'd all lost too much this year, and we stood to lose even more very soon. I didn't know how Beth was still moving right now.
"Uh..." I didn't know how to respond to that, acutely aware at Beth's discomfort.
"No, no," Dean said, jumping right in, pushing through the moment. "Uh, but actually my brother here... it's been a lifelong dream of his," he added, and I threw him a glare.
The Elf lady looked at me like I was some kind of a freak, hesitating. "Uh, sorry. No kids over... twelve..." she said.
"No, he's just kidding," I said, glaring at Dean again. "We only came here to watch." It sounded all kinds of wrong as soon as it came out. The girl looked over at Dean and then Beth, taking a step back. Dean had his face in his hand, shaking his head.
"Eww!" She said and starting to walk away. I urgently called after her.
"I – I didn't mean that we can here to w... You..." I sighed. I was stupidly trying to fix the statement and digging myself deeper. Dean looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Thanks a lot Dean!" I snapped.
Dean laughed, shaking his head before looking down at Beth who had fallen silent. He put his arm silently around her and then nodded as Santa got up from his chair, walking away with a bad limp. "Check it out."
"Are you seeing this?" Dean asked. Santa limped right past us and we turned to watch as he followed the path through the village.
"A lot of people walk with limps, right?" Beth asked suddenly, showing that even though she'd been lost in her own thoughts, she'd been paying attention.
"Tell me you didn't smell that. That was candy, man." Dean said, looking up at me.
"That was ripple, I think. Had to be." I commented, recalling the smell.
"Maybe," Dean said, looking at both Beth and me. "We're willing to take that chance?"
I sighed, of course we weren't. I just didn't like the idea of us stalking Santa. This was Santa we were talking about! Sure, it was a guy playing Santa, but something just seemed off about going after the man. But then, odd was what we did.
Many hours later we were parked out the front of a trailer house decorated in Christmas lights. Dean groaned and rubbed at his eyes.
"What time is it?" He asked, I sighed and looked over at him.
"Same as the last time you asked," I answered, glancing at Beth asleep on the back seat. "Here, caffeinate," I said, handing him the thermos.
Dean took the thermos and tried to pour a cup of coffee from it, but it was empty. He sighed and rolled his eyes at me. I shrugged, hadn't been me who emptied it.
"Wonderful," Dean grumbled, tossing it on the floor behind the front seat. "Hey, Sam?" He asked.
"Yeah?" I asked, looking over at him.
"Why are you the boy that hates Christmas all of a sudden?" He asked, as if he didn't really know. Dean was always in denial. What was there to celebrate?
"Dean..." I said, sure to put that warning tone into my voice. I didn't want to talk about it.
Dean jumped in with his usual string of reasons to try and sway me. "I mean, I admit it. You know, we had a few bumpy holidays when we were kids..."
"Bumpy?" I asked, scoffing at the word.
"That was then. You know we've done all right since that first Christmas with Beth. This one will be good too." Dean said. He was right, things had gotten a lot better once Beth had been adopted into the family unit, she'd made Dad celebrate it because she'd done that with her father. But last year, this year, they all seemed a little fake with all the death that surrounded us. I was kind of feeling more in line of finding a dive of a bar and drinking myself stupid for Christmas in the hopes that I could forget what was coming.
"Look, Dean," I said carefully, sighing at him. "If you and Beth want to have Christmas, knock yourselves out. Just don't involve me."
Dean shook his head and sighed in frustration. "Yeah... great... we'll just dump you somewhere on the way to South Dakota and pick you up after New Years, that's just... great," he said, frowning and crossing his arms.
There was movement in the house as Santa stood up and looked outside before drawing the curtains closed.
"What's up with Saint Nicotine?" Dean asked, leaning forward.
"Oh my God!" A woman suddenly screamed from the open window of the trailer. We didn't even check to see if Beth woke up, jumping out of the car and running to the house, pulling our guns out as we moved. Dean looked in the window of the door and I was suddenly struck with the humour of the situation.
"Huh..." I said with a chuckle.
"What?" Dean asked, looking down at me.
"Nothing. It's just that, uh... well you know, Mr Gung-Ho Christmas might have to blow away Santa," I said with a smirk. Dean looked perplexed at me and shook his head before taking a deep breath.
He reached out, opening the door and we both walked into the trailer. Santa startled when he saw us, nearly dropping his bong and bottle of whiskey. He stood up, turning blood-shot and bleary eyes toward us as we hid our guns.
"What the hell are you doing here?!" He demanded to know.
The TV beside him blared at us, obviously the source of the screams we'd heard while he looked at us, a man and woman were having a loud conversation where she was hitting on him, trying to convince the man to sleep with her. "Mistle my toe. Roast my chestnut. Jingle my bells?" She said with a smile.
Dean looked at me and I shrugged, there was no good explanation I could think of to have just broken into the man's house. Suddenly Dean burst into an out-of-tune Christmas carol.
"S-silent night...Holy..." He looked at me and I fell into line with the song. At least we knew some of them from all the years Beth had been dragging us to Mass.
Santa smiled at us and sat down, watching us as we pretended to be carol singers, able to pull it off because he was so completely plastered we could have been Rudolph himself singing and he'd have been perfectly fine with that. "...all is dry..." he sung along with us. I was pretty sure we were getting the words wrong too, apparently Beth's efforts hadn't been entirely successful.
I grabbed Dean and pulled him back outside, leaving Santa to get on with his night. Beth was standing outside, arms crossed with a smile on her face as we stepped down to the ground.
"Nice guys... real smooth," she commented with a smirk.
"Yeah, well, you could have come in and helped us out," Dean said raising an eyebrow at her and starting back to the car.
"I thought about it, but you were doing such a good job without me," she quipped, chuckling as she walked next to Dean. He grinned and put his arm around her neck, while she wrapped her arm around his waist. I sighed. I wanted to join them in the Christmas cheer, I really did, but my heart wasn't in it.
Motel Room
Ypsilanti, Michigan
-Present Day-
Beth's POV
Hot hands were massaging their way along my legs as I rolled over to cuddle up to Dean, only to find a pillow and nothing more. In my sleep-addled state it took me a moment to realise he'd moved down the bed under the covers and was currently kneading my calf muscles with his hands, placing kisses along the skin as he went.
I moaned softly, drawing his attention to the fact that I was now awake. "What are you doing?" I whispered with a smile. He paused and I heard a little chuckle as the covers started moving again, and Dean's head bobbed its way along the bed until green eyes were peeking at me from under the edge of the blanket.
"Isn't it obvious?" He asked with a grin. I groaned and rolled my eyes in the direction of Sam who was asleep in the bed next to us.
"Eh, he's way out of it, we're fine," he said, leaning down to suck softly on my abdomen, nuzzling along to my breast where his hands ran up and under the t-shirt I was wearing. He knelt over the top of me and I realised that somewhere along the line he'd divested himself of all his clothing, and was in the process of doing the same to me. I grinned, sitting up slightly and letting him pull the t-shirt over my head.
Dean tossed it beside the bed, and then pushed me back against the pillows. "You're still going to have to keep it down," he said quietly with a grin. I chuckled and shook my head.
"You should talk!" I whispered back at him. He smiled and claimed my lips in answer, starting out slow and then increasing in urgency as he started to grind against my thigh, his obvious arousal strong and prominent. I slipped my hands down his back to knead his buttocks, pulling him against me as he continued to circle my tongue with his own, drawing me deep into the kiss.
These moments were often some of the most intimate with us, because in our need to be quiet, we moved slow, drawing out the sensations which were tantalising in their simplicity. I trailed my fingers along Dean's back, tracing circles over his lower back and then tickling them along his spine until I reached the back of his neck. I held him, pulling his forehead to mine as he grazed his entire body along mine.
It was hot, our body heat coursing through each other as he moved against me. The weight pressing into me was comforting, and I moaned softly as his knee slipped between my thighs, pushing my legs open and giving him access to me. I gasped, biting my lip to keep from crying out louder as one of his hands smoothed down my side, pausing at my groin and stroking inward along my bikini line.
I arched as the touch sent shivers down my body. I was already turned on just from the sheer volume of skin touching mine, the heat from his kisses, the alluring fingertips as they moved slowly inward, finding me open and ready. Dean repositioned only slightly, just enough to slide his finger between my folds, dragging it across my clitoris and causing me to bite down on his shoulder as I fought to be quiet.
With a quiet groan, I arched into him, kissing along his shoulder and up to his ear where I nipped at his earlobe. "Roll over," I whispered and he moaned softly in response, shifting on to his back so I could take control. I grinned and slid down to take his tip in my mouth, drawing him further in as I circled my tongue around his shaft. I was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath as he buried his hands in my hair.
I dragged it out for a little while, delighting in the soft thrust of his hips as I traced along the V of his groin, cupping his testicles with one hand and softly massaging them as he breathed heavily in response. Warm hands grasped either side of my face, pulling me away to look up. He inclined his head, indicating I should come up to join him. I smiled, sliding my breasts along his chest as I lay atop his body, resting my forearms across his chest and peering at his face.
Dean grabbed me either side of my hips as he sat up, bringing me to a sitting position in his lap. "I want to feel you against me," he whispered, kissing along my neck. I sighed happily and shifted until he was rubbing along me, then I inched my way down, taking him inside me. I pushed him back against the pillows with a smile, riding him slowly and then leaning down until I was almost sliding along his body, his arousal thrusting deeply and slowly.
It was agonisingly slow, our mouths hovered over each other's as I ground against him, loving the feel of his bare skin pressed against mine, the tickle of his leg hair brushing along my smooth calves, his hands running up and down my back as I stroked his forehead and cheekbones.
I felt my peak coming before his, my legs starting to tremble beneath me as I tried to sit up and change the angle, hoping to prolong the inevitable. The building rush was almost too intense as I brushed along his body. Dean's hands held me firmly against me, preventing me from pulling away; he stared up at me as my breathing came in short, shallow gasps, quivering at every movement.
"Dean..." I whimpered, convulsing and closing my eyes. I bit down hard on my lip, holding to his shoulders as I rocked and shuddered on top, feeling my entire centre burst into wave after wave of ecstasy. I gasped, trying to keep from crying out, my breathing fast and hard as I buried my face into his shoulder, trembling like a leaf. Finally the orgasm subsided and I relaxed, sinking against him.
Dean groaned and rolled me over, keeping himself sheathed as he thrust deeply. I wound my legs around his waist and rose to meet his long and intimate strokes. His breathing was fast, and he kissed up along my neck as he ground deeper into me, holding for a few seconds after every entry before pulling back out and pushing back in. It was slow and torturous, sending tremors of euphoria down our bodies. Finally with a short gasp of breath, Dean sank hard into me, jerking with the sheer intensity of his ejaculation as he moaned softly. We lay tangled in each other's arms for a handful of moments before moving again.
Kissing me, Dean smoothed the hair out of my face, and then pulled back to smile at me. "I have something for you," he said quietly, I chuckled at the twinkle in his eye.
"Baby you just gave me something pretty incredible, I'm not sure you can top it," I said. He grinned and leaned over to the bedside drawer, reaching in and pulling out a tiny little jeweller's box, velvet and black; I looked up at him, raising my eyebrow.
He chuckled at my curious expression and rolled his eyes. "Just open it," he said quietly, kissing me quickly, watching my every move. I paused, looking at the little box in my hands, questioning. This wasn't Dean's style, not really, was it? Nah, couldn't be. He grumbled at me impatiently and I grinned, flipping the lid open and smiling at the silver medallion glinting back at me. I felt a little relieved and disappointed all at the same time because a proposal was the last thing I'd ever expect out of Dean, but let's face it, every girl wanted one.
"Had me going there for a minute," I said with a giggle, looking up at him.
Dean laughed softly. "This is more important," he said, pulling the medallion out and sliding the silver chain it was attached to over my head. "This is St. Anthony..." he said softly.
I looked up sharply at him, my mouth dropping open. "Patron saint of the lost..." I said softly, tears coming to my eyes. Dean nodded, moving in beside my body and pulling me into his arms. I couldn't do anything more than gaze at him, watching as his eyes revealed all his love and adoration.
"If anyone can find a way to bring me back, it's you," he said softly. I swallowed hard; it was the first time I could recall that he'd shown any sort of vulnerability over going to Hell, until now it had all been false bravado and denial.
"No pressure," I said with a sad smile. Dean shook his head, the faith he had in me was terrifying.
"Do you like it?" He asked, kissing my shoulder and watching me.
I smiled, fingering the medallion on its long chain, watching the silver glint in the moonlight streaming through the window. "I love it," I said with a kiss. "It's perfect, thank you." Dean looked pleased and settled in against the pillow. I relaxed into his arms, allowing myself to forget about anything other than the moment, listening to his steady heartbeat under my ear as it lulled me back to sleep.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
-Christmas 1996 -
Dean's POV
Beth was staring at an evergreen tree in the Christmas tree lot. She wandered past it several times, chin in her hand, thinking hard.
"Are we getting it or not?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
"I'm thinking!" The sixteen-year-old said to me, flashing me a warning glance. Apparently Christmas tree selection was very important, you had to get the right one or it might not last out the season, instead you ended up with a dead tree, pine needles everywhere, and a disaster on your hands.
"Beth, it's two days to Christmas, I think you can relax on the rules a little bit this year, huh?" I reasoned with her, shaking my head.
"Yeah, I guess," she agreed with a nod. She turned to the yard owner and pointed at the same tree we'd been looking at for the last half hour. "We'll take that one!"
Cole was running around with the credit card somewhere, chucking like a hyena. It was slightly disturbing to me that she'd managed to con Dad out of his credit card so easily, but by the time we'd all in our own way reprimanded him for not giving Beth the Christmas she was so desperately seeking, he would have agreed to a lobotomy if it had meant stopping the nagging.
"Happy?" I asked Beth as she slipped her arm through mine, holding on as we tread carefully around some ice on the ground.
"Almost," she said with a nod and smile.
"Man, what else could you possibly want? We have lights, tree ornaments, tinsel, a nativity set, a good dozen angel statues..." I mentally ran down the list and chuckled. Dad was going to freak when we got home with all this stuff. Beth grinned cheekily at me and skipped down toward the back of the tree lot.
"You missed the most important thing!" She called out as she got ahead of me. I gazed at her curiously and followed, not exactly sure what was more important than the Christmas tree. I said as much as I rounded the corner, and found her in a little area set aside, lots of herbs hanging from wooden railings. She was standing under an arch that led into the area where you could pick your own out.
With a look above her head, she pointed and raised her eyebrow. "Mistletoe," she responded to my earlier comment. I swallowed, looking at her big fluffy coat trimmed in fake fur, the hood thrown back and her cheeks all flushed in the cold air.
"Mistletoe?" I asked with a grin, shaking my head.
"Well yeah, it's tradition!" She insisted with a smile.
"I see," I said, taking a step toward her until I was standing in front, looking down at her. "Well... since it's tradition..." I grabbed her, raising her lips up to mine and drinking from her, my tongue tracing along her lips as I told myself this was bad. I tried to convince myself I shouldn't be kissing her like this, we'd promised Dad we wouldn't go here, and I'd been determined not to.
The thought of Dad was enough to make me pull back, breaking the contact. Beth stared up at me breathless, and then tilted her head with a grin. "Okay," she said nonchalantly. "I think we can determine that mistletoe works," she said with a giggle. I laughed, shaking my head at her.
"Goofball," I laughed at her, wrestling her under my arm as I threatened to mess up her hair to her screams of protest. When she broke free, I reached up and pulled down the piece of mistletoe she'd been standing under, holding it up for her to see and she nodded with a pleased smile.
"One more thing!" She said, turning and skipping ahead of me again.
"Another thing?!" I asked, inwardly grimacing at what Dad was going to say when we got all this stuff home.
"Yeah, we need something for the front door!" She called back to me, gasping in delight when she spotted what she was looking for. She grabbed it and turned to show me with another smile. "We need a wreath!" I looked at the evergreen wreath in her hands and shook my head. Forget Dad, what the hell was Bobby going to say when we started decorating his house in all this stuff? For once in my life, I was thankful to have Cole on our side, because she was going to be the one we used to convince Bobby that this was a good idea.
"Okay then angelpie, let's get this all paid for and in the truck." I said, giving in to the extravagance. Truthfully, I was kind of looking forward to doing a real Christmas celebration; I thought it would be good for everyone. I still wasn't sold on the Christmas Eve Mass but there was a first time for everything, and it was important to Beth, so that made it important to me. Funny how that worked – between her and Sam, I was lucky to have an opinion of my own, but I loved it that way too.
Caldwell House
Ypsilanti, Michigan
-Present Day
Dean's POV
Mrs Caldwell led us into the living room of the house. She was walking slowly and had a bruise across her face. She stared ahead of her in shock, still processing everything that had happened overnight.
"So that's how your son described the attack? 'Santa took Daddy up the chimney'?" I asked, grimacing at the thought. She turned to face us and nodded.
"That's what he says, yes," Mrs Caldwell answered.
"And where were you?" I asked, looking around the house at all the decorations.
"I was asleep, and all of a sudden... I was being dragged out of bed, screaming," she said, catching her breath and looking around the room urgently, tears in her eyes.
"Did you see the attacker?" Sam asked gently.
She shook her head in response. "It was dark, and he hit me. He knocked me out."
I nodded at her, she was trembling and I suddenly felt sorry for her. "I'm sorry. I know this is hard," I said, to which she nodded.
Beth cleared her throat from where she was standing by the fireplace, staring up at the wall.
"Um... Mrs Caldwell, where did you get this wreath?" She asked, pointing at a wreath that was covered in Christmas lights. I raised my eyebrow at her indicating that I hardly thought it was the time to be shopping for Christmas decorations.
"Excuse me?" Mrs Caldwell asked, looking at Beth confused.
Beth shrugged and looked back at us. "Just curious, you know," she offered with an apologetic smile.
Mrs Caldwell gave Beth an odd look, but supplied us with the information needed before showing us to the door. I shook my head as we walked around the corner back toward the car.
"Wreaths, huh? Sure you didn't want to ask her about her shoes? I saw some nice handbags in the foyer," I said to Beth with a raised eyebrow.
She snorted and rolled her eyes at me. "We've seen that wreath before Dean," she said.
"Where?" I asked, noticing Sam start to get excited.
"Yesterday! At the Walshes'," he said and Beth nodded, smiling at him. I felt a little silly all of a sudden, but wasn't about to let them see that.
"I knew that," I said, reaching the car and getting in the driver's seat. Beth sat next to me in the front and looked like she didn't quite believe me. "I was just testing you," I added with a grin.
Motel Room
Sam was on the phone to Bobby while Beth set about making us coffee. She was looking tired and weary, I chuckled a little thinking my own body was feeling like it hadn't slept in days. Just the same, last night had been worth the lack of sleep.
"Yeah, all right. Well, keep looking, would you? Thanks Bobby," Sam said, hanging up the phone. He watched as Beth put a cup of coffee in front of me and then sat on the couch with a groan. "Geez guys, you look like you barely got any sleep last night!" he commented, looking at us both.
"We had... interrupted...sleep," Beth supplied, taking a sip from her cup and providing Sam with an elusive answer.
"Huh," Sam said thoughtfully, raising an eyebrow at me and then shaking his head. "Well...we're not dealing with the anti-Claus," he said, moving on to the topic at hand. I looked up at that statement.
"What did Bobby say?" I asked.
"Uh, that we're morons," he answered and Beth laughed, shrugging. "He also said that it was probably meadowsweet in those wreaths," he added, looking down at his laptop.
"Wow! Amazing," I said sarcastically, "What the hell is meadowsweet?"
"It's rare," Beth chimed in, looking up from her coffee. "I've never seen it before now. But it's probably the most powerful plant in pagan lore," she added.
"Pagan lore?" I asked, confused.
"Yeah. See, they used meadowsweet for human sacrifices," Sam answered, reading from the screen. "It was kind of like a … chum, for their gods. Gods were drawn to it and they'd stop by and snack on whatever was the nearest human."
I grimaced at the thought. "Why would somebody be using that for Christmas wreaths?" I asked, glancing over at Beth as I stood up and walked around the room, drinking my coffee as I moved.
"It's not as crazy as it sounds, Dean. I mean, pretty much every Christmas tradition is pagan," Sam said, sitting back in his chair, Beth was nodding at his comment.
"Christmas is Jesus' birthday," I pointed out to them, rolling my eyes.
"No, Jesus' birthday was probably in the Fall," Beth said, leaning forward. "It was actually the winter solstice festival that was co-opted by the church and renamed 'Christmas'. The yule log, the tree, even Santa's red suit – they're all remnants of pagan worship," she said.
I stared at her, my little walking encyclopaedia of weird information.
"How do you know that? Wait, why do you celebrate Christmas then? Uh, no, never mind, I don't want to know. What are you going to tell me next? The Easter Bunny is Jewish?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
Beth shared an amused expression with Sam, and then looked back at me with a slight shrug of her shoulders as she brought her coffee up for a sip.
"So you think we're dealing with a pagan God?" I asked finally when they didn't answer me.
"Yeah," Sam said. "Probably Hold Nickar, God of the winter solstice."
"And all these Martha Stewart wannabes, buying their fancy wreaths..." Beth said, shaking her head in disbelief. "Kind of like putting a neon sign on your front door saying 'Come kill us'."
I sighed, looking down at my cup. "Great," I muttered.
Sam was reading something on the laptop again. I moved over to the couch, taking a seat next to Beth. She smiled and laid her head against my shoulder, taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh.
"Huh..." Sam said, "When you sacrifice to Hold Nickar, guess what he gives you in return?" He asked, turning to look at us.
"Lap dances, hopefully," I said with a chuckle.
Sam rolled his eyes. "Mild weather," he said. I frowned, and stood up, going to the window. It was something that had been bugging me, all the years we'd spent in this part of the country at Christmas, and one thing was missing this year.
"Like no snow in the middle of December in the middle of Michigan," I commented, looking out at the bare ground.
"For instance," Sam said in agreement.
I looked over at him. "Do we know how to kill it yet?" I asked, getting straight to the point. We had to get on to this, not only were people dying, we had places we needed to be.
"No," Sam answered with a shake of his head. "Bobby's working on that right now. We have to figure out where they're selling those wreaths.
"You think they're selling them on purpose?" I asked. "Feeding the victims to this thing?"
Sam sighed, standing up. "Let's find out."
Christmas Shop
Beth's eyes looked all bright and cheerful as she looked at the display window of the shop. She grinned as she pushed open the door, moving eagerly inside. I shook my head, taking her here was like taking a kid to a candy store, good thing we had the credit card.
The shopkeeper greeted us as we entered. "Help you folks?" He asked, looking unenthusiastically at us.
"Yeah, I hope so," I said, pulling Beth into me and holding her under my arm with a smile. "We were playing Jenga over at the Walshes' the other night, and, uh... well, she hasn't shut up since about this Christmas wreath, and..." I looked down at Beth, who was smiling up at me. "I don't know honey, you tell him," I said.
Beth turned and nodded enthusiastically at the shopkeeper. "Mhmmm, sure. It was yummy!" She said with a smile.
"I sell a lot of wreaths, guys," the shopkeeper said curiously.
"Right, right, but – you see, this one would have been real special. It had, uh, green leaves, um, white buds on it. It might have been made of, uh... meadowsweet?" Beth said, looking at him, unfazed.
"Well, aren't you a fussy one?" The shopkeeper said, raising his eyebrow at Beth.
I smiled and squeezed her tightly against me. "She is... but you know..." I leaned in conspiratorially to the guy, winking. "If you could help a guy out..." I inclined my head toward Beth who had moved off to look at an angel display, feigning offence. "She really, really wants one of those wreaths."
Beth smiled back at me adoringly and I shook my head, man she was a good actress sometimes.
"Well, I know the one you're talking about, and I'd love to help you, but I'm all out," the shopkeeper said.
"Huh. Seems like this meadowsweet stuff's pretty rare and expensive. Why make wreaths out of it?" I asked him, prompting for information.
"Beats me. I didn't make them," he answered with a shrug.
"Who did?" Beth asked, calling out her question from where she was standing, looking at a wooden carving of an angel.
"Madge Carrigan, a local lady. She said the wreaths were so special, she gave them to me for free," the shopkeeper said.
"She didn't charge you?" Sam asked, crossing his arms and looking pensive.
"Nope," the man answered.
"Did you sell them for free?" I asked, curious.
"Hell no! It's Christmas. People pay a buttload for this crap," he said with a snort. Beth came over and plonked the statue she'd been eyeing off on the counter, I grimaced, and then reminded myself that getting her in the Christmas spirit had been my idea.
"That's the spirit," I said to him, shaking my head. "We'll take that instead," I handed him my credit card while I looked down at Beth. "Sorry honey, guess you missed out on the wreath." Beth managed to look disappointed.
Motel Room
Ypsilanti, Michigan
-Present Day-
Sam's POV
Dean opened the door to the motel and turned on the light while we all trudged into the room, quiet and sullen.
"How much do you think a meadowsweet wreath would cost?" Dean asked, tossing his jacket on his bed.
"A couple of hundred dollars at least," Beth commented, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling off her boots.
"This lady's giving them away for free? What do you think about that?" Dean asked as he sat down next to her.
"Well it sounds pretty suspicious," I said, taking a seat on the other bed. A broad smile crossed Dean's face and he got that far away look in his eye whenever he was recalling something from our childhood.
"Remember that wreath Dad brought home that one year?" He asked, looking over at me.
"You mean the one he stole, from like, a liquor store?" I asked hesitantly. Beth raised her eyebrow, looking at Dean curiously.
"Yeah," Dean said, nodding and smiling. "It was a bunch of empty beer cans. That thing was great. I bet if I looked around hard enough, I could probably find one just like it." He looked at me expectantly like I was supposed to jump on the Christmas bandwagon with one stupid little Christmas memory that wasn't even that special to me.
I sighed and looked him straight in the eye. "All right. Dude.. what's going on with you?" I asked, and Beth looked over, tossing me a warning glance that I promptly ignored.
"What?" Dean asked, confused.
"I mean, since when are you Bing Crosby all of a sudden? Why are you pushing Christmas so bad?" I asked. Usually it was Beth dragging the rest of us along, albeit we secretly all enjoyed her enthusiasm and love of the season, but it was like looking at Beth in Dean's body the last few days, when she'd actually been the more sullen one.
"Why are you so against it?" Dean asked. "I mean, were your childhood memories that traumatic?" He continued to look confused, not understanding what either of us were going through.
"No, that has nothing to do with it," I said.
"Then what?" Dean asked.
"Sam..." Beth said warningly, her eyes flashing frustratedly at me from beside Dean.
"I... I mean...I just don't get it. Usually your Christmas celebration consists of letting Beth do all the Christmas shopping while you sit on your ass in front of the fire at Bobby's drinking rum and eggnog, then making a lot of noise about being dragged to Midnight Mass... suddenly you're all gung-ho?" I stopped, shrugging.
"Well, yeah. This is my last year," Dean said simply, looking at me. Beth covered her face with a hand and shook her head. I sighed and looked away from him, staring at my hands.
"I know... that's why I can't," I said to him quietly.
"What do you mean?" Dean asked. Beth looked at me sadly, and I saw the first evidence of the dam starting to break in her, the glitter of tears in her eyes. I suddenly felt bad for pushing them, but I couldn't lie, I couldn't pretend everything was all right when it wasn't.
"I mean I can't just sit around, drinking eggnog, pretending everything's okay... when I know next Christmas you'll be dead," I answered, and Dean nodded at me, starting to finally hear what I was trying to say. "I just can't Dean."
We all fell silent, lost in our own thoughts.
"Okay..." Dean said finally, standing up and nodding. He looked down at Beth and she reached out to squeeze his hand with a smile. I sighed, she was much better at this game than me. "I'm gonna take a shower," Dean said, brushing his hand along her cheek.
Hours later, after Dean had fallen asleep, and I was supposed to be sleeping too, I heard Beth slip on boots and her jacket, leaving the room. She often did this, if she'd forgotten to do her prayers, or if she had some thinking to do. I frowned, and let her go, but after half an hour I decided I should go and look for her.
I got dressed hurriedly and walked out, looking around for her. There was a chapel a block down, and at this time of year it was open twenty-four hours a day – I knew instantly that this was where I would find her. I eased my way through the door and saw Beth kneeling in a pew about half way down the chapel, head bowed.
As I got closer, she climbed off her knees and sat back in the chair, looking at me in consternation. "Sam, are you okay?"
"I should be asking you that," I said, sitting down next to her with a sigh.
"What do you mean?" She asked, frowning at me and turning to face me, crossing one leg over her knee.
"I don't know how you do it, Beth," I said, drawing our attention to how she'd been putting on the big act for Dean these last few days.
"I have to," Beth said quietly, looking up at the stained glass window that was dark against the night sky.
"No, you don't," I replied, looking at her with a frown. "You're not responsible for Dean's feelings or anyone else's Beth, and if you keep shoving all this down, it's going to break you."
"Just, drop it Sam," she said warningly to me.
I shook my head and pushed a little harder. "No, no I won't Beth, you're my sister and I love you, and you're going to lose Dean in a matter of months, and you won't talk about it! Neither of you will! You think you're dealing with this? You're not! You're both running away, as fast as your legs will take you."
Beth stood up and brushed past me, turning in the aisle to flash angry eyes at me. "What do you want me to do Sam? Spend my days crying? Begging Dean not to leave me like I want to do every damn minute of the day? How is that going to help?!" She crossed her arms over her chest as tears welled in her eyes and started to run down her cheeks.
"My heart is breaking, Sam. It's breaking. I have been with him every day for the last twelve years and I'm losing him. In no time at all he's going to be in Hell, because of me, and I am going to have to live with that knowledge for the rest of my life, knowing that it was all my fault, that he is suffering because of me." She stopped, shaking her head and swiping at her tears with her hand.
"I can't do that to Dean. It's not fair. He deserves to deal with this however he wants to, and if he wants to have Christmas then I will do everything I can to support that, no matter how hard," the last part was barely a whisper upon her lips.
I stood up and pulled her into a comforting embrace. Her head was heavy as she laid it against my chest with a deep sigh.
"How am I supposed to live without him Sam?" She asked me softly, her voice breaking with tears.
"I don't know," I said, rubbing her back. "I don't know."
"He's counting on me to get him out of there; I don't even know where to start Sam! We can't get him out of this deal now; do you know how hard it's going to be once he's down there?" She pulled back, holding my hands and looking up at me. "Sometimes I think that's the only thing keeping him holding on, this complete faith in me to save him, what if I fail Sam? How am I supposed to live with that?"
"You don't have to do this alone Beth, he's my brother too, you know I'm not going to stop until I get him out of there either." She nodded and bit down on her bottom lip.
"I'm scared Sam," she whispered.
"I know, me too," I said to her, hugging her to me again. "But you're not alone, I'm not the little kid that needs you to protect him anymore Beth, let me help you."
She pulled away and nodded, sniffing back a few tears. "That's fine Sam, but you have to stop giving Dean a hard time over this Christmas stuff. He wants this, and if it's going to help him then he deserves our support. He'd do it for us, you know he would." I nodded. I didn't like it, but she was right. Dean had done an awful lot for me over the years, trying to protect me from harm. I just wanted to do that for him now, but there was no way to help, at the very least there was none that I could see.
I grinned at her, deciding to change the subject. I gestured to the silver medallion that was hanging around her neck. "Nice medallion by the way, that was sweet of Dean," I said with a smirk. Beth's eyes widened and a red flush spread across her cheeks as the implications of what I'd just said sunk in.
"Uh, how much did you hear…exactly?" She asked, finding it hard to meet my gaze.
I chuckled and shook my head. "Enough! Seriously, you guys need to get your own room when you're feeling frisky," I said, scrunching up my nose.
"Well it was kind of spur of the moment…" Beth said, her voice trailing off. She smiled at the memory and I laughed, wrapping my arm around her neck and pulling her down the aisle of the church with me. "I'm surprised you didn't run out of the room screaming," she added.
"I'm scarred enough as it is after that last incident, at least I don't have a visual to go with it this time!" I said. Beth laughed and wrapped her arm around my waist. "Besides, Dean was kind of in the middle of… yeah… sometimes you gotta take one for the team. He is on death's door and all," I reasoned, shuddering at the mental image it was bringing up. "Feel free to wake me up and kick me out next time though," I said with a short laugh.
"Deal," she said with a grin, shaking her head. "Oh I'm completely mortified."
Blue Earth, Minnesota
Christmas Eve (Day) 1991
Beth's POV
I sighed, looking out the window at the snow falling down. I'd been standing here for a long time. Earlier Pastor Jim was fussing about the house preparing for tonight's service, and he'd been in a meeting with a young couple for the last hour. I leaned on the window sill, my chin in my hands, waiting.
There was a clatter as the door opened and Pastor Jim came through from the chapel office.
"He's not home yet," I said, stating the obvious and looking out the window again.
"He will be, he made a promise," Pastor Jim said to me. I sighed and shrugged.
"Look, I know sometimes adults have to break their promises if things don't go according to plan, but I have a good feeling about this, all right?" He said with an encouraging smile.
"Okay, if you say so," I agreed, tossing him a smile. "What are we going to do now?"
"Well, I think you should wrap the present for your Dad, what do you think?" He asked.
I nodded enthusiastically, running out into the living room where I had put the little box he'd given me earlier, bringing it back into the kitchen.
I took the rosary out of the box and held it up to mine. "It's just like the one Daddy got me for my birthday!" I declared as he watched me from across the kitchen island bench.
"That's right," Pastor Jim said with a grin, "they were both made at the same time."
"I'm glad Daddy and I will have the same rosaries, that makes it special, something just for us." I declared, smiling. Pastor Jim smiled and nodded, reaching out to help me with the tape as I reached for the silver Christmas paper on the bench.
"Your Dad is going to love it Beth," he said to me. I beamed and picked up the scissors cutting a piece of the paper from the roll. I couldn't have been more excited about giving Dad this Christmas present.
Motel Room
Broken Bow, Nebraska
Christmas Eve (Night), 1991
Sam's POV
Dean had been furious with me for hours, he'd come back once, and then he went out again, barely even speaking to me. I had made good use of the time deciding it was time that I got a little truth instead of all the lies. Now I was sitting on the couch reading a comic book, the room was dark and dreary and I just wished Dean would come back.
As if he read my mind, the door opened, and Dean walked in carrying a bag of groceries.
"Thought you went out," I said to him, and he rolled his eyes at me.
"Yeah, to get you dinner," Dean said. He tossed me something wrapped in a package, and then walked past the back of the couch, handing me a bag of fried onions. "Don't forget your vegetables," he said.
I watched him shrug out of his jacket and sit on his bed. He reached out and opened a can of drink, taking a long sip. I jumped over the back of the couch and sat on the edge of the other bed, looking at him, hoping he wasn't about to explode at me again.
"I know why you keep a gun under your pillow," I said to him quietly. Dean looked under his pillow, just to check that the gun was still there, and then he looked back at me.
"No, you don't. Stay out of my stuff," Dean said quietly.
"And I know why we lay salt down everywhere we go," I pushed on with my findings.
"No, you don't. Shut up!" Dean snapped.
I smirked, turning and grabbing Dad's journal from under the mattress of my bed. I waved it in the air for a moment before laying it on the night stand between the beds.
Dean stood up, looking panicked. "Where'd you get that? That's Dad's! He's gonna kick your ass for reading that," he said, sounding frantic. I ignored what he'd said, going straight to the questions I wanted answered.
"Are monsters real?" I asked, peering at him, looking for some kind of tell.
"What?" Dean scoffed. "You're crazy."
"Tell me," I said, staring at him, serious.
Dean looked over at the journal, hesitating as he chewed on his bottom lip. When he looked back at me, I could tell he was going to spill the beans, and I fought to contain my excitement.
"I swear, if you ever tell Dad I told you any of this, I will end you," Dean threatened, frowning at me.
"Promise," I said sincerely.
Dean sat down on the bed again, looking at Dad's journal once more. "Well, the first thing you have to know is we have the coolest dad in the world," Dean said. "He's a superhero."
"He is?" I asked sceptically, Dad sure didn't seem like a superhero to me.
"Yeah," Dean said, looking at me. "Monsters are real. Dad fights them. He's fighting them right now." I looked around, all manner of thoughts running through my head.
"But Dad said the monsters under my bed weren't real," I said to Dean, who nodded and smiled.
"That's 'cause he had already checked under there," Dean said with a smile. "But yeah, they're real. Almost everything's real," Dean said.
"Is Santa real?" I asked, hopefully. Dean scoffed and shook his head.
"No," he said. Well that was disappointing, I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised though, it seemed the other kids were always getting a better deal from Santa than we ever did.
"If the monsters are real, then they could get us," I said, starting to feel anxious. "They could get me."
"Dad's not gonna let them get you," Dean said to me, a certainty in his eyes.
"But what if they get him?" I asked, the very thought was terrifying!
"They aren't gonna get Dad. Dad's, like, the best," Dean said, but I wasn't convinced, I'd read so much in the journal, too much to set my mind at ease with a simple promise.
"I read in Dad's book that they got Mom," I said quietly, and Dean sighed.
"It's complicated, Sam," he said, but I couldn't see how – it seemed pretty simple to me.
"If they got Mom, they can get Dad, and if they can get Dad, they can get us," I said, drawing the only logical conclusion.
"It's not like that," Dean said, moving to sit next to me. "Okay? Dad's fine. We're fine. Trust me," he said. I looked away, suddenly feeling very alone and sad, I was worried about Dad, why wasn't he back yet?
"You okay?" Dean asked, still watching me.
"Yeah," I said, looking away. I had to be strong, Dad expected it, we weren't allowed to get upset.
"Hey, Dad's gonna be here for Christmas. Just like he always is," Dean said to me.
I didn't believe him. "I just want to go to sleep, okay?" I said, hoping that maybe the black nothingness of sleep would help ease my troubled mind. Maybe I'd wake up in the morning and Dad would be here, and everything would be okay.
"Yeah, okay," Dean said quietly. I lay down on the bed and sniffed back a few tears. Dean sat next to me, watching over me like he always did. "It'll be all better when you wake up. You'll see. Promise."
Carrigan House
Ypsilanti, Michigan
-Present Day -
Sam's POV
The three of us decided to check out the Carrigan's house. They lived in a big white house in a quiet suburb, the front yard was covered in a happy Christmas scene of a sleigh, Santa, elves, and of course Frosty the Snowman, who looked a little out of place on the perfectly manicured green lawn, not an inch of snow to be seen.
"This is where Mrs Wreath lives, huh?" Dean asked, looking around at the decorations sceptically. "Can't you just feel the evil pagan vibe?" He asked.
Beth rolled her eyes and knocked on the door. A middle-aged woman with shoulder-length salt and pepper hair and bright rosy cheeks opened the door. She looked like any ordinary housewife, dressed in a pink dress with white cardigan, topped off with a string of pearls around her neck.
"Yes?" She asked curiously, looking at us all standing on her front porch. Dean smiled and caught her eye.
"Please tell me you're the Madge Carrigan who makes the meadowsweet wreaths," he said.
"Why, yes I am," Madge said with a beaming smile.
"Ha! Bingo, there you go honey!" Dean said to Beth, looking pleased.
Beth turned a sugary sweet smile to the woman. "We were just admiring your wreaths in Mr Sylar's place the other day," she said nicely. I peeked behind Mrs Carrigan at the house beyond, Christmas decorations we set up everywhere. If anything, it was Christmas overkill.
"You were?! Well, isn't that meadowsweet just the finest smelling thing you ever smelled?" She asked in a sweet voice.
"It sure is, it sure is," Beth said, wrapping her arm around Dean's waist. "But, the problem is, all your wreaths had sold out before we got a chance to buy one."
"Oh fudge!" Madge said and I chuckled. She couldn't seem more white bread suburban than that, but then, that's probably what she wanted us to think.
"You wouldn't happen to have another one that we could buy from you, would you?" Dean asked, looking disappointedly at Beth.
"Oh, no, I'm afraid those were the only ones I had for this season," she said.
"Awwww," Beth said sadly.
"What a shame sis," I said, looking at Beth who nodded. "Tell me, why did you decide to make them out of meadowsweet?"
Mr Carrigan had made his way down the stairs while we were talking, he was dressed in an honest to goodness smoking jacket and had a pipe hanging out of his mouth.
"Why the smell of course!" Madge said with a smile in answer to my question. "I don't think I've ever smelled anything finer."
"Yeah... um, you mentioned that," I said, nodding.
"What's going on honey?" Mr Carrigan asked, stepping up to look at us all.
"Well, just a lovely young couple and her brother asking about my wreaths, dear," Madge said with a smile.
"Oh, the wreaths are fine," Mr Carrigan agreed with a nod. "Fine wreaths. Oh, care for some peanut brittle?" He asked, offering us a tin of small bits broken up.
Dean reached out to take some but Beth grabbed his hand and pulled it down, throwing him a warning glance. "Oh, we're okay, but thank you," she said, turning to Dean. "Remember honey, you have that peanut sensitivity that's only just cropped up." Dean raised an eyebrow and then nodded sadly at Madge.
"She's right, I forgot. Oh lucky I have her or who knows where I'd be!" He said with a smile.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
-Christmas Eve 1996 -
Dean's POV
There was snow all over the ground as we piled out of the two cars it had taken to get the entire family unit to the chapel. Bobby and Sam had taken his truck, while Dad, Cole, Beth and I had taken the Impala. I kept glancing over at Beth, recalling the kiss from earlier and telling myself over and over, never again. I had to remember this was my sister, and that was it. She and Cole were chatting in the back seat about boys.
Cole was still getting used to having another girl in the mix of things. She hadn't really taken to Beth right away, I figured it was because maybe she had a little competition, and Cole was always about defeating the competition. It kind of made it hard to make friends with someone you were always trying to one-up.
The last couple of days they'd started to bond, I think the whole Christmas thing had done it. Cole had taken on this whole protective big sister thing with Beth when Dad refused to do any kind of Christmas celebration. I practically had to steal her away to get any time alone with her, which, now I thought about it was probably a good thing, but I'd gotten used to having her hanging around with me. It was lonely when she was off doing things with Cole, and hanging out with Sam wasn't the same.
Beth always made time for me though, just like she was now. She skipped around the side of the car in a hurry, and came into contact with a patch of ice, her feet slipping out from under her as she let out a little shriek. It was a good thing I'd been behind her, or she'd have had a very sore, wet rump. Instead, I caught her, just like I had at the start of the year, and she stared up at me with her big brown eyes.
"Phew! That was close!" She said with a laugh, struggling to stand up again. I helped her back to an upright position with a chuckle.
"Yep, you need to be more careful," I said with a raised eyebrow. She giggled and then tucked her arm in mine.
"Probably I should, but either way I'll be okay, I'll always have you around to catch me," she said with a grin. Her eyes turned to the chapel, there were huge stained glass windows over the entry and they were lit up in all the colours of the rainbow from the lights within. She giggled with delight.
"Happy?" I asked, and she nodded profusely.
"Come on!" She said with a smile, pulling me with her, taking Sam's hand in her other. Dad laughed at her enthusiasm while I exchanged a bored look with Cole. Neither of us thought this was all that exciting, but Beth's joy was contagious, it was hard to say no to her.
Beth broke away, skipping up the stairs and I hoped that someone had properly salted the steps so that any ice had melted. She made it to the top of the ten or so steps and looked down at us, her hair framed in the light from the doorway, eyes sparkling.
"Come on!" She said again, waving at us and then leading the way inside.
"You kids have really done it this time," Dad said with a shake of his head, looking over at Bobby.
"Bunch of flamin' galahs if you ask me," Bobby said, rolling his eyes. "Fancy leaving a perfectly warm house to come out in the snow and sit in a freezing cold chapel just because it's Christmas!"
"Come on Dad, you'll survive. Just bite your tongue and tell yourself what we're all saying. We're doing it for Beth." Cole said, taking his arm and leading him up the steps.
Dad looked thoughtfully at them as Sam went up to take Cole's other arm in his, flashing her a smile. I saw a new expression on Dad's face, one I hadn't seen in a long time. He was softer, and more patient, which was in stark contrast to the lecture we'd received a month ago from him, but something had changed in him this Christmas. He looked happy.
"For Beth," he said quietly, looking down at his hands. "And Patrick." The last was barely a whisper, but I heard it. I nodded, taking the steps two at a time as I hurried to catch up with them. Beth had picked out a pew near the front, and she turned around looking for me as I reached the back of the chapel. I chuckled as she threw me a big smile and waved us both down to where she was.
It had been a crazy year, starting with getting a new sister just after my birthday. And now we ended it with a family celebration. We'd never done anything like it, and I think I liked it. We needed this, something to remind us about the good things out in the world, instead of all the bad that went bump in the night. It was a night for hoping and dreaming, thinking of a world of love and promise. It was exactly what the doctor ordered.
Motel Room
Ypsilanti, Michigan
-Present Day -
Beth's POV
Dean was looking excited as we entered the motel room. Sam ignored him, going straight to the laptop. I was on the phone to Bobby, getting the latest information about how to kill these pagan gods. Dean wasn't convinced that Madge and Mr Carrigan were the culprits, but Sam had other ideas. I watched as he clicked open the web browser and started looking into their background. Half an hour later Sam was smiling triumphantly at the screen while Dean and I sharpened some evergreen stakes out of branches we'd found at the Christmas tree lot.
"I knew it!" Sam said, clapping his hands once. "Something was way off with those two."
Dean looked up from where he was seated, pausing with knife in hand. "What did you find?" He asked.
"The Carrigans lived in Seattle last year, where two abductions took place right around Christmas. They moved here in January." Sam took another look at the screen in front of him before continuing. "All that Christmas crap in their house. That wasn't boughs of holly, that was vervain and mint."
"Wait, wait," Dean said, standing up. "Christmas crap?" He asked incredulously at Sam. "Just because you're not in the mood to celebrate Christmas doesn't mean you have to take it out on the Carrigans. I'm not even sure it is them!"
"Dean, what are you talking about? They're a prime candidate! If you're going to start getting all Christmas fluffy on us, the least you can do is keep your head in the hunt!" Sam snapped.
"I am in the hunt! My mind is clear!" Dean snapped back and I grimaced, covering my face with my hands.
"Hardly Dean! You haven't been clear for months! You're reckless, you're inconsiderate, you're an ass!" Sam said. I sighed and sat down on the couch, staying quiet. Sam looked at me and frowned and I tossed him a look that was akin to asking him when he'd decided to renege on the whole 'placate Dean by faking Christmas deal'.
"You know, you go and get Beth that medallion and stick the responsibility of bringing you back on her shoulders, how is that fair?" Sam said, and I looked up at him sharply.
"Now, hold on a minute," I said, standing up.
"No Beth, he needs to know. Tell him!" Sam said, not slowing down for a moment on his self-righteous tirade. "Tell him how it's breaking your heart to do this, to pretend to be into something you're not."
I gaped at him, and Dean turned to look at me, a frown on his face. "You know what, I'm not getting into this, I will handle my own feelings and actions myself, thank you very much. I don't share with you so that you can go and further your own agenda Sam!"
Sam huffed and shot me a look as if to say he was only doing it because I wouldn't. What he didn't understand was he was right, I wouldn't do it, I didn't have the right, I wasn't going to put Dean through that kind of anguish, having to listen to everything I was going through. Sam just didn't get it, but then, he'd always been like that – speak first, and with no regard for what it was going to do to those around him.
"Is this true?" Dean asked me, turning hurt eyes to me. I sighed, crossing to him and putting a hand on his chest.
"No," I said, glaring at Sam. "Not the way he's saying it," I said honestly. He looked troubled at me, and I gave him a brave smile. "I will tell you everything, okay? I promise, just... it's nothing you don't already know Dean, it's nothing you aren't feeling either."
Dean looked at me thoughtfully, chewing on his bottom lip. "Can we maybe focus on this hunt right now?" I asked, looking over at Sam who threw his hands in the air.
"Whatever!" Sam said, rolling his eyes. "You guys keep going on like nothing has changed, I'm going out!" He turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
"That used to be me storming out," Dean said with a grin, I chuckled at how the roles seemed to have reversed. He looked at me, checking me over as if trying to see something that would tell him I wasn't coping. I stuffed it all behind a mask, letting him see that I was all right, and I just wanted to get on with this hunt.
"If we take care of these gods quickly, we can be in Sioux Falls by midnight mass," I said and Dean smiled.
"Yeah?" Dean asked, looking at me hopefully. I nodded.
"Well okay, let's do it then," Dean said, casting a look at the closed door. "We can get a start without Sam, he can catch up later."
I nodded, and picked up a stake, twisting it in my grip.
"So what do you think? Ozzie and Harriet are keeping a pagan god hidden underneath their plastic-covered couch?" Dean asked, thinking about the possibilities.
"I don't know. But I think it's worth checking out," I said.
"And Bobby's sure evergreen stakes will kill this thing, right?" Dean asked. I nodded, pausing to toss a couple into the weapons bag.
"Yeah, he's sure," I said as I hoisted the bag over my shoulder. Dean grinned and opened the door for me, holding it so I could squeeze past. I smiled and headed for the car, it was getting late, and I wanted this thing over with.
Fifteen minutes later I was picking the lock to the home of the friendliest couple on the street. The door swung open and we crept into the darkened house. Dean handed me a carved stake from the weapons bag, and then snickered when he looked at the couch. I shone my flashlight over to reveal that it was covered in plastic. "See? Plastic," Dean said quietly and I smiled, shaking my head.
We split up, Dean going into the living room and I took the hallway. It was decorated with ornaments and snow globes, no surface left without some kind of Christmas item. At the end of the hallway was the kitchen and I entered to find a table covered in Christmas cookies and cakes. I shone my light around, coming to a locked door. Curious.
"Dean!" I whispered quietly, getting his attention from the living room. He crossed quickly to me and nodded when he saw the lock. The door was unlocked when I tried the handle. We shone our lights down the stairs and started to move down them, Dean taking the lead.
The smell hit me first as we descended into the basement. It was rancid, like old spilled blood and meat that had been left to rot. Dean pointed his flashlight around, the light hitting upon a large bowl with bones in it, covered in blood. I grimaced, and a shudder passed down my spine. Looked like we were definitely in the right place.
Everywhere I looked there were bones littered on the floor with flesh and muscle. I shuddered, looking at a leather bag hanging on the wall. It looked like Dean's coat almost, the same colour brown, only it was covered in blood. I fought back my urge to gag and step away in disgust. I didn't want to think about the poor souls that had been inside that bag.
I came across another bag hanging from the ceiling, this one was more red in colour, and I poked it with my flashlight. The bag jumped into motion scaring the daylights out of me, I spun around, instinctively moving for Dean but instead coming face to face with Madge who grabbed me around the neck, lifting me off my feet straight into the air as I choked.
"Beth!" Dean called out when he saw me suspended in the air. Madge pushed me against the wall as I fought against her hold, struggling to breathe. Dean ran toward us, stake in hand, but was intercepted by Mr Carrigan who effortlessly grabbed Dean by the back of his shirt, and rammed his head into the wall. I flinched, all breath leaving my body as my vision started to swim. Dean fell to the floor unconscious and I couldn't get away from the grip holding me, she was much too strong.
"Gosh, I wish you pair hadn't come down here," Madge said. I shone my flashlight into her face, and saw her true face show in the light, it was hideous and decaying. Marge lifted me up once more and then smashed me back against the wall, everything going black around me.
Carrigan House
- Present Day-
Dean's POV
The sound of Christmas music playing woke me up and I looked around to see candles burning, Christmas theme in full swing. I looked at my hands and found them bound to the arms of a dining chair, we were sitting in the kitchen next to a table full of cookies and cake.
"Beth?" I asked, twisting my head and looking for her.
"Yeah, I'm here," she answered, leaning back and I felt her head against the back of mine. I sighed in relief.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, I think so," she said with a sigh. "So I guess we're dealing with Mr and Mrs God?" She paused before continuing. "Nice to know." I nodded even though she couldn't see me.
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, struggling against the ropes that held me. I had a moment to wonder how we were going to get out of this mess when the Carrigans walked into the kitchen dressed in full Christmas regalia.
"Oooh, and here we thought you two lazybones were gonna sleep straight through all the fun stuff," Madge said with a giggle when she found us awake.
"Miss all this?" I said smartly. "Nah, we're partyers."
Mr Carrigan was smoking his pipe, he pulled it out of his mouth and smiled. "Isn't he a kick in the pants honey?" He asked, circling us. He stopped, looking down at us. "You're hunters, is what you are," he stated, looking from Beth to me.
"And you're pagan gods. So, why don't we just call it even and go our separate ways?" I said cockily.
"What, so you can bring more hunters and kill us?" Mr Carrigan said with a laugh. "I don't think so."
"Maybe you should have thought about that before you went snacking on humans," Beth said from behind me, the venom clearly dripping from her voice.
"Oh now, don't get all wet," he said and I twisted my head, trying to get a look at him. What the hell was he talking about, getting Beth wet? I felt a rage boiling in my stomach, and I struggled against the ropes once more.
"Oh, why, we used to take over a hundred tributes a year, and that's a fact," Madge said, putting a napkin across my lap. "Now what do we take? What, two? Three?" She moved and put a napkin across Beth's lap, her breathing was calm as she assessed our two captors.
"Nancy Drew and Ned here make five," Mr Carrigan said. Madge looked up in delight before glancing down at us again.
"Now, that's not so bad, is it?" She asked.
"Well, you say it like that – I guess you guys are the Cunninghams," I said sarcastically, trying to draw their attention off Beth and on to me.
"You, mister, better show us a little respect," Carrigan said to me, pointing his pipe in my direction.
Beth snorted. "Or what? You'll eat us?" She asked. I snickered, proud of my girl for back chatting.
"Not so fast," Carrigan said, looking at Madge. "There's rituals to be followed first." Madge nodded furiously, turning crazy eyes to me.
"Oh, we're just sticklers for ritual," she said, looking excited.
"And you know what kicks off the whole shebang?" Carrigan said while Madge smiled adoringly at him.
"Let me guess..." I said with a raised eyebrow. "Meadowsweet." Madge looked happily at her husband and giggled, skipping out of the room.
"Oh shucks," I said, goading them. "You're all out of wreathes. I guess we'll just have to cancel the sacrifice, huh?"
"Oh, don't be such a gloomy Gus," Madge said, coming back into the kitchen. She took a small spray of meadowsweet and placed it around both mine and Beth's neck. "There," she said. "Oh don't they just look darling?" She asked Carrigan, looking at him happily.
"Good enough to eat," he said with a grin, smacking his lips together. I sneered at him, my mind starting to race with all my options. "All righty-roo... step number two." Carrigan said, taking a knife and bowl and walking around to Beth.
"Beth?" I asked, twisting to try and get a view of what was happening. "Beth?!" I felt my heart start to race as I struggled with the ropes at my wrist. Beth struggled against her ropes too, and he leaned over her, putting the bowl near her arm.
"Don't..." Beth said, and then she cried out in pain as he sliced her arm open.
"Leave her alone you son of a bitch!" I yelled at him while he collected blood in the bowl.
"Hear how they talk to us? To Gods?" Carrigan said as Madge took the bowl and knife from him. "Listen pal, back in the day, we were worshipped by millions."
"Times have changed!" I snapped at him.
"Tell me about it! All of a sudden this Jesus character is the hot new thing in town. All of a sudden, our – our altars are being burned down, and we're being hunted down like common monsters." Madge walked off and started swirling the blood they'd collected from Beth around in bowl at the end of the table, I glared at her.
"But did we say a peep?" Madge asked as she worked at the table. "Oh... no, no, no, we did not." Carrigan added something to the blood. "Two millennium," Madge said as Carrigan picked up a pair of fence pliers and looked at them, I felt my mouth go dry imagining all the things he could do with those.
"We kept a low profile; we got jobs, a mortgage. Wh-what was that word, dear?" Madge asked, looking at her husband.
"We assimilated," he said, and she nodded.
"Yeah, we assimilated. Why, we play bridge on Tuesday and Fridays," she said, picking up a large knife. "We're just like everybody else," she said sweetly, smiling at me.
"You're not blending in as smooth as your think, lady," I growled at her.
Madge moved back over to me. "This might pinch a bit, dear," she said, slicing at my arm.
The metal sliced into my arm and I groaned with the pain. "You Bitch!" I snapped at her.
"Oh my goodness me! Somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar," she said, looking offended. "Oh, do you know what I say when I feel like swearing?" I turned a steely gaze toward her, raising an eyebrow. "Fudge," she supplied.
"I'll try and remember that," I said, hearing Beth snicker behind me.
Carrigan started waving the fence pliers around and walked over to Beth. "You kids have no idea how lucky you are. There was a time when kids came from miles around just to be sitting where you are," he said, standing in front of Beth.
I heard a sharp intake of breath and twisted in my seat to look around. "What do you think you're doing with those?" Beth asked, her voice sounding a little panicked.
Carrigan smiled and I looked urgently back at Madge, glaring at her as she hovered over me with her knife. "You fudging touch me again and I'll fudging kill you!" I snapped, fighting against the ropes again, they were tight.
"Very good!" She said with a smile. I rolled my eyes and she reached out, slicing my other arm. Beth was starting to struggle and I twisted in time to see Carrigan grab her hand.
"Leave her alone Carrigan!" I yelled as he took a nail in the pliers. I felt my skin pale.
"Don't," Beth said. "You don't want to do this." He just chuckled and I heard her suck in a breath and then scream as he pulled the nail out at the root.
"We have a winner!" Carrigan announced, holding the nail up in the air and then putting it in the bowl with the blood. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest, completely helpless to do anything about our situation. Beth's breathing was coming fast and hard as she struggled to get her composure. I didn't even want to think about it, my blood was boiling, I couldn't help us, we were completely at the mercy of these crazy gods.
"I'll kill you all!" I said again, as Beth whimpered. Forget the stakes, I was going to rip their hearts clean out of their chest with my bare hands when I got a hold of them.
"Beth, you okay?" I asked as the Carrigans gathered around their little bowl again. She groaned and laughed at the same time.
"What do you think?" She asked. I grimaced, she didn't want to know what I was thinking.
The Carrigans stirred all their ingredients together, looking thoughtful.
"What else dear?" Madge asked, looking over at Carrigan.
He stopped to think. "Well, let's see. Uh, fingernail, blood. Oh..." he slapped his forehead and laughed. "Sweet Peter on a popsicle stick... I forgot the tooth!"
The tooth?! I felt myself starting to go green around the gills.
"Oh dear!" Madge said.
"Merry Christmas Beth," I said sarcastically, my breathing speeding up, she groaned in response.
Carrigan picked up a pair of channellock pliers and grabbed my chin.
"Open wide... and say, 'Aaah'," he instructed. I tried to lock my jaw together, but he had too firm a grip. With a grunt he forced the pliers into my mouth as Madge watched, and then mercifully, the doorbell rang. Everybody froze.
"Somebody gonna get that?" I asked around the set of pliers shoved in my mouth. The gods looked at each other and I nodded encouragingly. "You should get that," I said.
Carrigan sighed and put down the pliers. "Come on," he said to Madge. I ran my tongue over my still-intact teeth while Beth breathed a sigh of relief as they walked out of the room.
"We have to get out of here," she said, struggling at her bonds.
"Yeah, any ideas?" I asked. She was twisting around in her seat and then she laughed, sighing in relief. I looked around to see Sam creeping in from the living room, right toward her. He hurried and grabbed the knife that had been used on us earlier, slicing at the ropes holding me.
"Are you guys okay?" He asked urgently. Beth whimpered and I shook my head at him, moving to look at her.
"We've been better," I muttered as he cut Beth's ropes.
"You okay?" I asked, grabbing at her face, she nodded and sucked in a breath. "Come on," I said when she was loose. "We gotta move." I cast a look around, planning as we moved. "When they come in, we shut the doors and lock them in..." I said to Sam and Beth, indicating the two doors leading into the kitchen. I pulled Beth with me, out of the kitchen and into a little alcove where we hid, Sam taking the other doorway into the living room.
The Carrigans came back to the kitchen, walking right past our hiding place, chatting to each other. They stopped in their tracks when they saw us gone, and at that moment I slammed the door shut, hearing the echo of the other door slam as Sam followed my lead. Beth and I held the door, the gods attempted to batter them down.
"Here," she said, sliding a drawer open beside me and pulling it out over the edge of the door. It blocked the door shut, effectively locking it. I smiled and we raced through the house to the living room where Sam was still holding his door shut.
I held my hand up against the door, helping him hold it, and looked over at Beth. "What do we do now? The evergreen stakes are in the basement!" I said. And the entrance to the basement was in the kitchen, where we'd just locked the Carrigans.
Beth looked around, shrugging. Sam's eyes hit upon the Christmas tree in the corner and he smirked.
"Well, we need more evergreen, and I think I just found us some more!" Sam said as Beth moved to the cabinet next to the door.
"Dean, help me with this," she said and I moved to lean against the heavy piece of furniture. Sam pulled on the cabinet while we pushed, closing the door, and then we attacked the Christmas tree, pulling it to the ground and ripping off branches.
The beating against the door stopped and Beth looked panicked as we moved back toward the kitchen. It was too quiet. Suddenly I was hit from the side, Carrigan jumping me and tackling me to the ground.
Madge had walked up to Sam, and she looked venomous. "You little thing. I loved that tree!" She said before throwing herself at him. Sam raised his stake but she hit him, sending him crashing into the fireplace.
Carrigan punched me a few times while Madge walked closer to Sam, she'd completely missed Beth standing nearby. Beth moved quickly, hitting her a few times with the branches, trying to get her attention, and when Madge turned to snarl in her direction Sam acted, taking the branch he was holding and shoving it deep into Madge's chest.
The man holding me down turned and screamed. "Madge!"
Sam pushed the stake deeper and the woman groaned. I barely had time to think before Beth took the branch she was holding and came around the front of Carrigan, using his distraction to her advantage. I'd dropped my branch but I took the one she was holding and hit him; Carrigan fell to the ground, I moved off the floor, using the momentum of my downward swing to stab him twice in the chest, a sickly squelching sound coming as the branch rammed into his heart.
We were all breathing heavily, trying to catch our breaths as we looked down at the gods on the floor.
"Merry Christmas," Sam said with a smirk, Beth chuckled and shook her head, wrapping her arm around his waist and leaning heavily into him. I sighed in relief, thankful we'd gotten out of that alive.
Blue Earth, Minnesota
Christmas Eve 1991
Beth's POV
It was Christmas Eve, and we were coming to the end of the service. I looked sadly at all the people sitting in the chapel, families together and happy. The music to Hark! The Herald Angels Sing started and I took my place with the other children in front of the adults in the choir, opening my book even though I already knew the words by heart: I'd been practising for weeks.
"Hark! The herald angels sing, glory to the newborn king, peace on earth and mercy mild..." I kept singing, the words coming effortlessly, but my eyes had fallen to the door at the back of the chapel. It was opening and I had to hold back my excitement when I saw my Dad's head peek around the door, then slide in to the chapel. The other man was with him too, supporting him with an arm around his back.
Dad was walking with a limp, and he smiled at the man while they took a seat at the back of the chapel and were lost to my view because everyone else was standing.
"Hark! The herald angels sing... glory tooooo... the newborn King." The song finished and I didn't even wait for the next one, I ran. I ran straight down the aisle into my father's waiting arms, and he picked me up in a big hug, sitting me in his lap with a laugh.
"You came! You came!" I said excitedly as he kissed me on the cheek. The people around us burst into another round of song, we spoke over the singing.
"Of course I did baby girl, we promised, didn't we?" He asked, looking over at the man with him. I nodded, smiling at the man. A sad look passed between them, something I didn't understand, I just hoped it wasn't because of me.
"Sweetheart, this is John, a friend of mine. John, this is my little girl Elizabeth," Dad said and the man turned smiling brown eyes to me, reaching out a hand to me. I took it, and laughed at how big it was compared to mine.
"Pleased to meet you," I said, smiling. "Thank you for bringing my Daddy home."
"You're welcome little lady," John said to me, nodding at Dad.
"Won't your family be wondering where you are for Christmas?" I asked, biting my lip. Everyone had to be with their family for Christmas!
"Well, I'm about to head there now, but my boys have each other, they'll be all right." John said to me. "It was more important that we get your Dad home to you."
I smiled at him and cuddled into my father's arms, listening to his steady beating heart. "Thank you," I whispered.
"Thank you John," Dad said quietly to him as everyone sat down, the hymns now over.
"Merry Christmas everybody!" Pastor Jim said, taking his place at the front of the chapel. "We're about to start the nativity, but first a few short announcements..." John stood up, nodding at Pastor Jim, who smiled as he talked, giving him a little wave, and then he was gone, as if he'd never really been here at all.
"I missed you," I said to Dad, burrowing further into his arms.
"I missed you too baby girl," he said quietly.
With a sigh I pulled out of his arms, and looked excitedly up at the front of the chapel, it was almost time to do the live nativity, and I was going to be the angel. I was happy Dad had gotten home in time to see it. All the other kids in the nativity were walking down the aisle to the little room at the back, and I joined them as we got our costumes ready. Now I could celebrate Christmas.
Broken Bow, Nebraska
Christmas Morning, 1991
Sam's POV
I woke up to Dean shaking me.
"Sam, wake up!" He said and I looked at him sleepily. "Dad was here. Look what he brought," Dean said, gesturing to a little Christmas tree with lights on it, and presents underneath it. I glanced out the window, it was still dark but I could see the snow falling down like it was never going to stop: what time was it?
"Dad was here?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.
"Yeah. Look at this, we mad a killing," Dean said with a smile.
I yawned and looked appreciatively at all the presents. "Why didn't he try to wake me up?" I asked, wondering why it was that Dad hadn't even stayed until sunrise.
"He tried to, like a thousand times," Dean said.
"He did?" I asked sceptically.
Dean nodded. "Yeah. Did I tell you he would give us a Christmas, or what?" I looked around. "Come on, dive in!" Dean said excitedly.
I jumped out of bed with a smile and hurried over to the Christmas tree. I picked out a couple of presents from under the tree and brought them around to the couch. Dean sat next to me, watching expectantly as I ripped the paper off.
"What is it?" He asked as I held up the gift.
"Sapphire Barbie?" I asked, showing him. Dean chuckled and shook his head.
"Dad probably thinks you're a girl," he joked.
"Shut up!" I snapped, throwing the barbie on the floor.
"Open that one," Dean said, pointing to the other present. I did and I held it up with a raised eyebrow, it was a cheerleading baton.
"Dad never showed, did he?" I asked, looking at Dean.
"Yeah, he did, I swear," Dean said, but I could tell he was lying, he was getting that panicked look in his eye.
"Dean...where'd you get all this stuff?" I asked, leaning back on the couch. Dean sighed and looked at me before looking down at his hands.
"Nice house up the block," he confessed. I looked away, sighing. "I swear I didn't know they were chick presents," Dean added. I nodded at him, I knew he had just been trying to give me a better Christmas, at least he'd tried, Dad wasn't even here.
"Look, I'm sure Dad would have been here if he could," Dean said.
"If he's alive," I said.
"Don't say that. Of course he's alive. He's Dad," Dean countered, completely sure of himself.
I nodded and looked at Dean sadly, not completely convinced. I thought about everything Dean was always doing for me to help me be more of a normal kid, what he'd done to give me a Christmas. I made a decision. Reaching into my jacket that was lying on the couch, I pulled out the present I'd wrapped for Dad earlier, handing it to Dean.
"Here, take this," I said.
"No. No, that's for Dad," Dean said, shaking his head.
"Dad lied to me. I want you to have it," I insisted, still holding it out between us.
"You sure?" Dean asked hesitantly.
He took the little present in his hands, opening it up to reveal a gold amulet on a black string. He stared at it, a small smile coming to his face.
"Thank you Sam. I love it," he said, putting it around his neck. I smiled, glad I could give him something that hopefully was a start to making up for all the hard times.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
- Christmas Eve – Present Day -
Sam's POV
I was staring at the gold amulet I'd given Dean all those years ago, the one he rarely took off. Currently Beth was holding it, dangling it about JJ as he batted away at it, his little giggle brightening up the room as he lay in her lap.
Beth smiled, looking happy for the first time in a long time. Dean and Cole came into the room carrying a big pitcher of eggnog and some glasses, he smiled brightly when he saw Beth and the baby, coming to sit next to them, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
"Don't you go getting any ideas there JJ, that's my necklace!" Dean said with a chuckle, brushing his fingers along the brow of the little one year old.
"He's gotten so big Cole!" Beth said, smiling up at his mother. Cole nodded and rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, he's growing like a weed!" She said, pouring a glass of eggnog and handing it to me.
"That's just good genes," Bobby said from his spot by the fire, smiling as Cole handed him some eggnog. "Though I'm not too sure about the Winchester side... Dean's a little on the short side."
I snorted, and Dean looked offended.
"Hey now, just because I'm not Sasquatch over there, I hold my own thank you very much!" Dean retorted, and it was true, he was still very tall for a man.
Bobby chuckled and went back to the book he was reading.
"So guys! Are we ready?" Cole asked, handing out the last of the eggnog. She had been laughing away at our themed gift tradition for the last hour. It had started the second year we had Christmas here at Bobby's and continued every year after. We drew a theme out of a hat, something silly, and had to get inexpensive presents under ten dollars.
This year we'd been a little slack, because Beth and I hadn't really wanted to celebrate and it wasn't until Cole had rung when we were on our way to South Dakota that we'd realised no one was prepared for our little Christmas Eve tradition.
Dean had jumped right in with a solution, the call having come when we were stopped for gas. This year's theme was something from a gas station.
I took a sip of the eggnog and grimaced. "Man Cole, how much rum did you put in here?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
"A lot!" She answered with a laugh. I shook my at her, but it didn't stop me from taking another sip.
Cole handed me a couple of presents from under the tree and chuckled. As usual, everything was wrapped in newspaper, and no names were on as to who had purchased what, just the name of the recipient written on in big black marker.
I opened the first one up, rolling my eyes and chuckling at the porn magazines I was holding. Beth burst into laughter as I held them up. "Yeah! Skin mags!" I said, shaking my head. "And..." I opened the other package … "shaving cream!" I laughed.
"Don't forget mine!" Cole said, tossing me a package. I grinned and opened it. "Shampoo and Conditioner?" I asked, looking up at her. She laughed.
"Well if you're going to have that great mess of hair, you need to start looking after it!" She said with a laugh. I nodded and chuckled.
"You like?" Dean asked, looking over with a smirk.
I nodded. "Yeah, yeah," I said chuckling to myself.
Beth was next, and she giggled away at the St Christopher car bobble head accessory Cole had managed to find her, and actually liked the sunglasses I'd picked out for her. Dean had grabbed her car detailing polish and she laughed at the sight of it.
"You trying to give me a hint here?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well... you know... you gotta look after my baby now. Especially if you're going to put that thing in her!" He said, pointing at the bobblehead with a grimace. We all laughed, shaking our heads.
Cole's gifts were just as well received. A CD of Road Trip Music, a coffee travel mug, and Dean's choice, a copy of Playgirl. Cole rolled her eyes holding it up. "You trying to tell me something?" She asked, and Dean looked at her innocently, holding his hands in the air. It was pretty clear who had chosen the skin mags for me.
"Okay, Dean's turn," I said with a chuckle.
Dean looked excitedly at his presents, heaping them on his lap and tearing into the paper. The first was a couple of candy bars that Cole had picked out, Beth had grabbed him Twinkies which he chuckled at, apparently this was an inside joke with them. He licked his lips in anticipation. The third gift was a bottle of car oil, which he held up with a grin.
"Look at this," he said with a smile. "Fuel for me, and fuel for my baby. These are awesome guys, thanks!" He nodded and Bobby shook his head in the background.
"What a bunch of idjits, the lot of you!" He said.
"Oh wait! We got something for JJ too!" Beth said, grinning over at Bobby. He threw his hands in the air and shook his head.
"Corrupting the youth!" He muttered, taking a long drink from his eggnog.
"Damn straight," Dean said with a chuckle.
I got up and looked around under the tree, finding our gas station toy for JJ. It was crudely put together, but Dean had loved it. I handed it to Cole who looked curiously at the shape and then ripped open the paper.
We'd managed to tie two wire hangers together to form the shape of a baby mobile, and hanging from each corner was a car freshener, all in different colours and shaped like Christmas trees. Cole laughed and held it over JJ's head, his eyes lit up at all the different colours and he batted at it, cooing away.
"It's awesome guys, thanks!" Cole said with a chuckle.
"All right, now that's over let's put on the game," Bobby said, reaching for the TV remote. Cole took a seat on the other side of Dean squishing him between her and Beth as we all settled down to watch the game while waiting for midnight to roll around. I looked over at Dean, and he looked happy, his arms stretched out along the back of the couch around the girls, a beer resting between his legs as he stared at the TV. Maybe Beth was right, it was worth the pretending, just to give him this.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
- Christmas Eve – Present Day -
Beth's POV
Midnight Mass had been a lot of fun; I always enjoyed watching the children, who were hyperactive over the fact that they were allowed to stay up so late, running around the chapel playing. We'd all come home an hour later, tired but happy.
Cole came trudging down the steps after having put JJ to bed in her room, and smiled at me.
"How you holding up girl?" She asked, reaching for the pot of coffee she'd just brewed.
"Yeah, okay," I said, looking down at my hands.
"Where's Dean?" She asked, looking around, the house was pretty much empty. Bobby had gone up to bed, Sam was crashing on the couch, fast asleep in front of the fireplace.
"He's gone up to bed," I said, nodding toward the stairs and the spare room we were sleeping in.
She nodded. "How is he holding up?" I shrugged, I honestly didn't have any idea.
"Hard to say, he's a closed book right now. We just don't talk about it, you know?" I said, fingering the medallion he'd given me a few days ago. It was the closest we'd come to talking about what was going to happen, and even then, we hadn't really talked about how we were feeling.
I looked up at Cole. She looked tired, worn out. She had been on the move for a while now, and we hadn't really talked about why, she was elusive about the reasons and kept saying I had enough on my plate without dealing with her stuff too.
I sighed, and picked at the bandage around my finger, grimacing at the pain that still shot through my hand whenever I forgot the nail was missing.
"What?" Cole asked, watching me like a hawk.
"If you could go back, and make a different choice..." I started, looking up at her. "Would you keep JJ? Knowing what was going to happen to Dad?"
She sucked in a breath and sadness flicked across her face. I watched her keep it together, well practised at keeping things under the surface.
"I'm not going to lie to you Beth, it's not easy, especially knowing what we know. The world is scary enough without having to contend with monsters and demons..." she said, trailing off.
I nodded, I knew what she meant, but holding JJ in my arms tonight had triggered something inside of me. Maybe I should think about what I was going to be left with once Dean was gone.
"Don't do it out of fear of being alone Beth, you'll never be alone," Cole said to me, taking a sip of her coffee.
I sighed and wrapped my arms around my chest, hugging myself. "I don't know what I want!" I said. "I am going to have to somehow come up with a way to get him out of there, which means, I can't have a baby to look after, God knows what lengths we'll have to go to in order to accomplish that. But then I tell myself, 'what if I fail?' What then? I will have squandered any chance to at least have a piece of him with me."
Cole sighed and hugged me to her. "I know baby girl," she said, using the family nickname for me. "You just gotta follow your gut," she said.
"Does it make it easier? Having JJ?" I asked, pulling back from her embrace. "Tell me the truth."
She looked at me, and I could tell that she thought about lying to me when she bit her lip. Then suddenly she took in a short breath, looked me in the eyes and stared at me, steadfast.
"No," she said quietly. "No it doesn't. It makes it harder."
I nodded, tears in my eyes. "Thank you," I whispered to her, wrapping my arms around her tightly.
"I've always got your back Beth, you know that," Cole said, squeezing me tight. "Now get up there, go spend some time with Dean. Try and make the most of what time you've got left."
Attempting a smile, I brushed the tears out of my eyes and sniffed, nodding at her. She was right, I didn't want to think about the future tonight. I just wanted to be with Dean.
When I reached the bedroom I could hear the soulful strains of Bing Crosby crooning from inside, I raised my eyebrow and opened the door wondering what was going on. Dean was standing by the window, looking out to the night beyond. The snow was really coming down now, a crisp white blanket covering everything outside, but my eyes were on the room.
Christmas lights were strung from the ceiling, lighting it up and a small Christmas tree stood proudly in the corner next to a table with a small CD player on it – the current source for Bing's Christmas cheer. Dean had been busy up here before we'd left for mass, it was cheerful, bright and depressing in its beauty, all at the same time.
"Hey," Dean said, reaching out to take my hand and pull me over to the window. "Well, looks like we got our white Christmas after all," he said, kissing the back of my neck. I sighed and leaned back into him, allowing his arms to circle around me and hold me close.
"Yeah..." I said with a smile watching the snow fall silently to the ground. I glanced around the room again. "So what's all this?" My query saw me turn in his arms to face those loving hazel eyes.
Dean shrugged and repositioned his hands on my hips. "Just our own private Christmas, that's all," he said. "Don't you like it?"
I smiled and slid my hands up his chest until they were resting on his shoulders. Raising up on tip toes I laid the softest kiss across his lips and then pulled back. "I love it," I answered, returning to claim his mouth again. It was bitter-sweet, standing here like this, enjoying what could possibly – would most likely – be our last Christmas together. It felt like we'd finally gotten something right, and now it was too late.
My lip started to tremble and I felt the hot sting of tears building beneath my eyelids. I pushed them back under nine months of denial and bravado. Not tonight, I couldn't look at that tonight. I focused only on the moment, the man in my arms right now, in front of me. In this moment everything was perfect.
With a small moan, Dean deepened the kiss, his hand brushing under my chin and sending shivers of arousal straight down my spine. How a single touch from this man could nearly bring me to my knees was beyond me, but I loved it. I wound my arms around his neck as he pulled me close, rocking us to the beat of Winter Wonderland on the CD player.
'I'll be home for Christmas, you can plan on me..." My breath caught as the song changed into one of the more popular of Bing's Christmas melodies. I tensed and felt Dean's arms tighten around me, not letting me pull away. I let out the breath that I'd held upon hearing that line and relaxed, burying my face in his neck, smelling him. It was Christmas, and Dean always smelled like the sweet pine I associated with this time of year. I breathed him in, covering his neck with soft, feathery kisses.
I laid my head against his chest, winding my arms tightly around his waist as we swayed slowly to the music. I had to remember this, I forced myself to take it all in. The lights, the tree, the sound of him breathing and alive, humming to the song. I burned to memory the feel of his hands at my lower back, and the tingling sensation as he ran them up along my spine, holding me firmly against him as he stroked his fingers through my hair.
Songs like this were particularly hurtful when you knew that such a promise may not be kept. I forced down my tears again, running my hands along his back, feeling the curve of his spine, and the small rise of his butt as I rested my hands at his lower back. We danced like this, neither wanting to let go, silently hurting from the knowledge that from this point onward, moments like this were our last.
AUTHOR'S NOTES
The song for this chapter is: Tangled up in you by Staind.
I was going to go with a Christmas song, but the only one that stood out to me was Mariah Carey's version of All I want for Christmas and that is really, really cliché – as much as I love it. Haha. This song is so beautiful, and to me captures the little moments they've had throughout this story, especially the end. Definitely go check it if you don't know it.
Wow, this has been a long one to get out, hope you enjoyed it – leave a review and let me know what you thought :)
QUESTION FOR READERS: Some people have suggested I remove all smut from the main stories and contain it to the X-Files storyline. I could do this, wouldn't be a problem, that way you can recommend the story to people who perhaps aren't into the smut. Feel free to send me a PM or put in a review your preference. Basically I'd just skip over the really smutty parts (kisses and teasing would probably stay in) and put them in X-Files and a note at the bottom saying "read more here". ;)
As always, thanks to EarthhAngel for her constant friendship and support, her feedback and beta reading. Makes it a lot more fun having someone as obsessed with SPN as I am to share the writing journey with. Xoxo
Be sure to go check out her new chapter over at How To Save A Life – it's a lovely series of flashbacks chronicling John and Cole's relationship over time, and of course there are a few Dean & Beth snippets in there too :)
Welcome to the new followers, hope you're enjoying the story!
Please review :) You all know how much I thrive on it!