The nurses tucked his hands into padded restraints tied to his bed frame. He didn't fight them this time, it's like he knew this was going to happen.

I stopped one of the nurses as they exited Kurt's room, "can I still stay for my visit?"

She bites her lip.

"Please ma'am. I've waited two weeks…"

"Fine, but do not untie him. And the door stays open."

"Thank you!" I flash her a warm smile and walk slowly to sit next to Kurt on his bed.

I place my hand on his shoulder gently, causing him to open his eyes.

"Blaine?"

I smile warmly. "Yes, beautiful. It's me."

"You came?" His voice is airy and light, like if I were to blow hard enough it would make his words disappear.

"Of course I came, baby," I run my fingers across his pale cheek gently. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"What if there was a flood?"

"I would swim the oceans to come see you."

"What if your car broke?"

I smile weakly. This was a game that Kurt wanted to play at my last visit too. I believe that he wants to be flattered, and reminded that he is loved and this is the only way he knows how to go about it. I don't mind.

So, that's how we spend the rest of our visit, Kurt coming up with impossible situations that he believes could keep me away from him, and me reassuring him that I will be here for him as often as allowed.

Then I make a mistake.

My fingers drift up the side of his face and into his hair. He tenses immediately and I remove my hand from his hair, but the damage is done.

He pulls at his restraints franticly and shakes his head back and forth, eyes squeezed shut.

I jump back in shock, this isn't the first time I've seen this, but it takes me by surprise every time.

"K-Kurt...it's okay baby...I didn't mean to."

"GO AWAY! I MADE THIS NICE FOR BLAINE AND YOU MESSED IT UP!"

His screaming attracts the attention of the nurses and I am pulled out of the room and separated by a closed door. I can still hear him screaming, then it stops suddenly and the nurses leave the room.

I walk up to the little window in the door, wanting to catch one last glance of Kurt before I know I will be forced to leave. He looks like he is sleeping, and for a moment I can fool myself to this he really is just asleep. Then I see the red of his wrists, and the tight restraints, and I remember that Kurt, the love of my life, just had a full blown panic attack. All because I touched his hair, which was already messy to begin with.

Sitting in my car in the hospital parking lot I let tears fall. I'm losing him, and there is nothing I can do about it.