Sorry for not up dating in a while. Please read and review, even if you don't like it. Thank you all so much!

Wondersland

The chair positioned across from Kurt's therapist was very uncomfortable and I shifted, trying to get comfortable.

"Mr. Anderson, I'm Dr. Poise."

"Call me Blaine," I say, putting on my best smile. "It's nice to meet you."

"No it's not," Mr. Poise says. "You don't want to be here. You don't want to be in this whole situation."

"But I am."

"Yes," Mr. Poise smiles. "So, let's try to make the best of it."

I nod. I think I'm going to like him, he doesn't try to sugar-coat anything. Which is good. I can take the hard hits, I have been taking them for a while now.

"Part of why I wanted you to meet with me in particular was so that I could update you on Kurt's condition and treatment."

"How is he?" I say, my eagerness being betrayed in my tone.

"He had a setback in our session this morning."

"What do you mean? Is he okay?"

"We were able to stop him before he was able to do too much damage to himself."

"Was he scratching again?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Yes. He couldn't remember that we had decided, in his previous session, that he should do some of his therapy without contact from you."

I sigh and nod. "So, this happened because of me?"

"I would not say that. I seem to miss judged his dependence. He is not yet capable of handling the idea of going through this without you."

"But he isn't without me," I shift in my seat, uncomfortable with both the idea and this stupid seat. "I don't want him to think that he is in this alone."

"I agree," he smiles warmly. "We are in this together. We both want the same thing."

"For Kurt to get better."

"There is no 'get better' when his condition. This is something that Kurt will deal with for the rest of his life."

I knew this, of course. I've heard this before, multiple times, but hearing it again brings me to a stand still. I know that I will always have to help Kurt with this, for the rest of our lives, but the reality of it is still daunting.

"So...what do we do?"

He gives me a confused look.

"What is the end goal here?" I bite my lip. Please let there be an end goal. Even if this won't go away, there has to be something better than this.

"Coping mechanisms. That is the goal. To help Kurt, and you, be able to cope with this. It is never going to go away, but with proper medication and coping mechanisms, Kurt will be able to function in society."

"So...what about me in all of this?"

"For you we focus on how to deal with Kurt when he is having both good and bad days."

"Why do I need help dealing with his good days?"

"His good days will not be the same as before he got sick."

"I don't expect him to be the same."

"Good. On his good days he may still have hallucinations, he may still want to hurt himself, but he may be able to be around people, to hold a conversation. We won't know until he has been in treatment for a while longer."

"It's been three weeks. How long do you expect this to take?"

"Kurt is sick, Blaine. This isn't something that can be fixed or changed overnight."

I sigh. "Yeah...I was just a hope that he could come home soon."

"We will get him in the condition to come home to you."

I nod, and Dr. Poise smiles.

"That seems to be like a good place to stop for now."

I nod and stand.

"I ask that you still keep the no contact. We will see how this week goes, and reassess next week when you come."

I nod and walk out. I know it's rude to leave without thanking him, but I was so mentally done with everything. My head was pounding thinking about everything that I had to do for the rest of my life. Would I have to constantly watch Kurt, and make sure that he is taking his medication? Would I have to have the knives locked away? Would I have to deal with weeks on end where Kurt can't be around people or doesn't want to talk to me?

It was these thoughts and worried that plagued me the whole ride back to my apartment.

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There were bandages on my left forearm again.

I didn't know why.

Again.

So, I asked Oliver.

He smirked from his seat in the corner of my room. "I wrote a secret there, and you aren't able to see what it is until I say so."

I didn't believe him. I tried to move my right hand to take the bandages away, and it won't move.

I looked at my wrists and see that they are fastened to the bed by padded straps.

Again.

I was getting really sick of Oliver doing this to me. I just wanted to go home to my Blaine.

"Kurt...you know Blaine is never going to come see you again."

He will come and see me. He loves me.

At least I think he does.

He will come see me.

He is the one that bring me my color. He has to come back.

He has to.