Iggy's History Lessons
Chapter 2: The Industrial Revolution
Iggy had entered the room and proceeded to show a power presentation, the image showed a picture of bacon, fried to perfection.
"As you all know, bacon, has been battled over, killed over, even divorced over. Bacon, my friends, is the most unutilized weapon of war. That's why, George Washington was an epic person of bacon. He understood it's power."
Iggy walked around the room, distributing bacon. They ate it, Iggy might be blind, (and insane) but he could still cook.
"Now, as you should know, George Washington went every Saturday to get bacon from the French Canadians. But how did this all start? The Industrial Revolution my friends! This was when Canada started distributing bacon at a very fast pace. The countries of the world enjoyed this delicacy. However, it was not discovered until the time of President George Lucas, that Canadian bacon is in fact just fancy sliced ham."
Iggy waited for a collective gasp that never came.
"Wasn't George Lucas the guy made Star Wars?"
"Of course he was! That's why he became the president! He was the guy who replaced George W. Bush, he was president for exactly 28 minutes. And in those minutes he was still a better president than George W. Bush."
"Where do you get this information from?" Gazzy asked.
"Iggy-pedia of course!"
"Does that even exist?"
"It does if you believe! Believe in the fairies!"
"I thought you told us they were pixies!"
"Your mother was a pixie! I am your father! And I'm wearing intergalactic pants!" Gazzy stared at Iggy, "No you're not."
"Yeah, I know." Iggy said. Angel sighed with relief she was terrified for moment that in fact Iggy was her father.
"Yeah, these aren't my intergalactic pants, they're my Friday pants." Angel passed out from confusion. Nudge dragged her out of the room by her feet. Leaving Gazzy alone with Iggy. Iggy stared at Gazzy, "Well, my job's done Gazzy. See you tomorrow." Iggy jumped out the window. Leaving Gazzy in utter confusion.
Author's Note: Iggy drinks Red Bull, mixed with Monster, and pixie sticks. I do not recommend this to anyone. Ever. Have a lovely day.