Spencer did eventually end up falling asleep in the rather opulent bedroom that he'd woken up in earlier. He'd spent a while lying in bed first with his brain running in circles as he tried to process everything that had happened and everything he'd been told. Finding out about angels had been hard enough. Finding out that he was part angel had been even harder. But this? Everything that Gabriel had told him? It was too much. Add in that he was hearing it all from the mouth of the Messenger and Spencer just needed time to think. He just needed time to relax and let it all settle in somewhere inside of his brain. Spencer had always thought he'd done his best work under extreme pressure, but these past few days had truly put him to the test on that.
He hadn't planned on actually sleeping but his body was still very much recovering and it gave him no choice.
However, sleep seemed to help. When Spencer woke up again he found himself just a bit more relaxed than before. All of his thoughts didn't seem to be fighting against one another to be noticed and they weren't banging around against the inside of his skull. They were still there, the sheer amount of information that he'd been given still slightly overloaded, but there was a bit more room now. Room to think rationally and logically.
Lying in the large, opulent bed, which felt amazingly better than any bed he'd ever been in, Spencer stared up at the skylight and let his thoughts try to finally put themselves in some sort of order.
Putting the idea of the 'apocalypse' into perspective wasn't easy, but it was the easiest by far out of everything he'd discovered. Which, really, was rather strange considering he'd never been the religious type. He knew demons existed, though. Didn't it make sense that there was an opposite to them? Besides, it was hard to deny what he'd seen with his own eyes. Castiel, Gabriel – their wings. Their grace. He'd seen them both. How could he deny their existence?
Once Spencer reconciled those, coming to terms with the idea that the apocalypse was coming was much easier and at the same time much more terrifying.
For the moment, he pushed that little revelation to the back of his head. He didn't know if he could think about that. Not right now. Not when there was nothing he could currently do.
The hardest part was coming to terms with discovering who he was. For so long Spencer had lived without a name for what he was. He'd just known that he was different. That he was something other. Never once had it occurred to him that he'd be the child of an angel. Or, if Gabriel were really to be believed, two angels. Two angels in human vessels. That meant...that meant his mother had been possessed at some point. That thought had Spencer's whole body going tense. Sam and Dean's brief explanations had made it sound like angelic possession could be harder on a vessel than demonic possession in some ways. Had they damaged her? Whoever had been inside his mother, had they hurt her? Could they…were they the reason she was so ill?
Spencer brought his hands up and pressed them in against his eyes. Dammit, he didn't need to think like this. That kind of thought was going to get him nowhere except for more upset or more angry. Neither emotion was going to do any good. What he needed to do was stop lying here and moping. What did it matter if the apocalypse was going on, if he was some weird angel-fledgling thing? So long as he was trapped here with a brand new captor, what did any of it matter? He could think about it all once he was free. Until then, he needed to push everything else back. He could deal with it later.
With that firm resolve in mind, Spencer finally pushed himself up out of bed and focused on the world around him. He tried to ignore the weakness he still felt in his body. It was already less than it had been, and nothing compared to the way he'd felt in that prison.
A shiver ran down Spencer's spine. He didn't want to think about that room—ever. It was something he knew was going to give him nightmares for a long, long time.
His careful search of the room yielded no weapons of any sort hidden away. However, he did find a dresser full of clothes that looked to be about his size. He wasn't quite sure if he found that disturbing or not.
The other door, the one that didn't lead out of the room, he discovered led him to a bathroom that was just as opulent as the bedroom. It had a big Jacuzzi tub raised up on one far side of it, with windows and a skylight that would allow him to look outside while at a level that would keep people from looking inside. Near that was a stall with a shower inside that looked beyond wonderful. Spencer had to fight back the urge to climb right in and scrub himself clean. Right now he needed to focus.
Nothing on any of Spencer's senses told him that there was anyone nearby. Not that he was going to rely on that. Gabriel had kept his wings and grace hidden from him before. What's to say he couldn't mask his presence entirely? With that in mind, Spencer was very careful and as quiet as he could be as he crept from his room.
He needn't have bothered. When he reached the downstairs, he found a note sitting on the bar where he'd eaten breakfast earlier. He picked it up and found a message from Gabriel written in a fancy, scrawling script that, oddly enough, seemed to suit the being…man…whatever he was.
Went to go check a few things. Make yourself at home – G
So apparently his senses were right – he was alone here. Spencer wasn't stupid enough to waste that opportunity. Though the light inside of him seemed to almost protest to that, twisting in a way that was nauseating, the young genius ignored the part of him that was telling him to stay and he quickly made his way over to the door. No matter that Gabriel had saved him from the last place he'd been. Spencer wasn't going to stay with anyone. He wanted to go home.
Two hours later it was a much more subdued Spencer that returned to the only house he'd been able to find on this entire island.
There'd been nothing else out there. Spencer was still stunned even as he dragged himself, aching and sweaty, up to his bedroom. Nothing but water and sand and a small forest that, really, wasn't all that large. It mostly worked as a backdrop for the home here. The island itself was barely anything at all. Just enough for this grand house here, the forest behind it, and the beaches. There was nothing and no one else for miles that Spencer had been able to see or feel. There hadn't even been a boat! Nothing. Just, this. He was trapped here.
He took a quick shower, after making sure that the bathroom door was locked shut. Not that he thought a lock would keep out an archangel.
When he was clean and dressed once more, wearing a simple pair of khaki colored linen pants and the matching white linen shirt that he'd found in one of the drawers, he slipped on clean socks and his shoes and then made his way back downstairs. The clothes felt sort of strange, loose and kind of breezy, but they were suited to the warm climate around him and they were cleaner than what he'd been wearing.
Spencer hadn't taken the time to look around downstairs once he'd found that note earlier. He did now and he discovered a tray sitting on the counter. On the tray was a covered dish that he found, on closer inspection, hid a plate of somehow still perfectly chilled fruits. Spencer stared at it for a long moment and debated whether or not he wanted it. His stomach rumbled, voicing an opinion, and his traitorous light still seemed way to creepily fond of Gabriel and pretty much anything he said or did. It made him want to be contrary. He wanted to ignore the food, ignore any signs of kindness from this being. He didn't want to become dependent on him. He didn't want to like him. Gabriel might've saved him from that iron prison, and for that Spencer could only be grateful, and he might've even brought him here and started giving him answers, but that didn't take away from the fact that he'd brought him to what was essentially a remote, deserted island with no other life here and absolutely no way out. Spencer was just as trapped here as he'd been in that room, only here he got the illusion of safety to go with it.
But Spencer had made his decision earlier when he'd eaten a bit with Gabriel. Denying himself food wasn't the smart idea here. Especially not with him still recovering – a recovery that hadn't been made better by his wandering around the island. Reluctantly, Spencer helped himself to some of the fruit.
Of course, it had to be some of the most delicious fruit he'd ever eaten.
As he munched on a bit of the food, Spencer decided that it was time to do a better inspection downstairs, before Gabriel returned from wherever and whatever he was doing. Looking around down here provided him with the same lack of weapons, though. Not that he really thought he'd stand a chance with any kind of weapon against an angel. Archangel, his mind corrected. Most supernatural things could only be hurt with something specific. Spencer had a feeling that held true for archangels as well.
He did find other interesting things here, though. Nothing personal. No photos, no signs of anything like that. The place was rather simplistic in its designs. Something made more for a relaxed getaway than a home. But against one wall he found a bookshelf full of books he'd never even seen before. Fantasy books, historical books, classics, and books on the supernatural.
It was those last ones that Spencer settled on. With the tray of food set onto a small table, and a stack of books ready to go, Spencer sank down onto an extremely comfortable chaise lounge and pulled the first book off the stack. If he was going to be trapped here, he might as well entertain himself and gather information.
Hours later he'd worked through quite a few of the books. There was a stack beside him still waiting to be read, but he'd also accumulated a stack of finished ones. He was halfway through his current book when he heard a low chuckle and then a warm voice saying "Well I see someone's been busy."
Brown eyes shot up quickly to find Gabriel standing a few feet away, leaning against the wall and watching him with a smirk on his lips. Spencer couldn't quite hide his surprise. How on earth had Gabriel arrived without him knowing about it? It had to have something to do with some shields he had over him. Once more his wings and grace were hidden from sight as well.
Almost the instant he had that thought, he saw Gabriel give a little shrug, like he was shrugging something off, and then his shields just fell away and Spencer could see the grace packed inside the vessel, and those beautiful wings came arching up from his back once more. It was a beautiful sight to see. Even with everything going on, all the conflicting emotions he felt towards his current captor, he couldn't deny the beauty of him. Like this, it was easier to believe that he was an archangel. Spencer could see it.
Gabriel's smirk grew into a grin. "Been a long time since someone looked at me like that." He said teasingly. Immediately, Spencer dropped his gaze, a blush warming his cheeks. Seeing it, Gabriel laughed low and warm. He strolled forward and sat himself down in a chair opposite Spencer. Well, more like sprawled. He had one leg thrown over the armrest and let it dangle there, kicking lightly, as he pulled a bag of what looked to be Skittles from his pocket. It was startling and kind of creepy for Spencer to see as Gabriel's wings just sort of…went through the chair. It was like, even though Spencer could see them, they somehow weren't all the way there, passing through the solid object like it was nothing.
With the hand holding the bag, Gabriel gestured towards the stack of books near Spencer's feet. "I'm guessing those are the ones you've already read?"
Spencer nodded, his blush deepening at the appraising look Gabriel gave him. "I like to read." There was a hint of defensiveness in his voice that he couldn't quite help there.
"I can tell." Gabriel said dryly. He opened up the bag and poured a few Skittles into his hand.
Watching him, Spencer closed the book that he held. "There wasn't much else to do, anyways."
"Yeah. Sorry about that, kiddo. I had a bit of business to take care of."
"Spencer." The young genius blurted out. When Gabriel lifted his eyebrows in a surprised look, Spencer shuffled a bit in his seat and looked away briefly before gathering his courage and looking back. He met Gabriel's eyes and sat up straighter in his seat. "SSA Dr. Spencer Reid. But, um, most people just call me Reid." His training had kicked in enough to remind him that humanizing himself to his captor was always a good thing. Make them see you as human, as a person, not as a thing or as whatever fantasized creation they'd come up with. Sometimes it could make it harder for them to do whatever it was they wanted to do. And here, where there was no one around to stop anything from happening, the possibilities of what Gabriel could do were endless and terrifying.
Something briefly passed over Gabriel's face. His wings, which still sort of creeped him out to see how they were entirely unaffected by the solid objects that should've constrained them, drew in for just a moment before spreading back out almost lazily. "You're a federal agent?"
"I am. I'm part of the Behavioral Analysis Unit." There was only a moment's hesitation before he tacked on, "I was on leave when I ran into the Winchesters, but my team will be expecting me to return soon." Not entirely true, of course. They wouldn't be expecting him yet. But eventually they would. And when he didn't return, they'd look for him. He knew that. They'd look everywhere. They just wouldn't have any idea that they should be looking out in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle.
Gabriel didn't comment on that. They both knew that there was no way Spencer would be found here. Instead, he focused on something else. "And you're a doctor, too? What kind of doctor?"
That was a surprising question. Spencer couldn't recall the last time someone had asked what kind of doctor he was and not just assumed that it was something to do with medicine. "Does it matter?"
"I'm curious. Humor me."
What harm could come from the small bit of information? He knew Spencer's name now. It wouldn't be hard to look him up. "I have three doctorates. Mathematics, chemistry and engineering. I also have B.A.'s in psychology, sociology and philosophy."
"Wow." Gabriel let out a low whistle and his expression was dutifully impressed. "That's quite a collection of degrees there, kiddo."
For a moment Spencer stared at the being across from him. Gabriel wasn't…he didn't quite make sense. He wasn't what Spencer expected him to be. It was startlingly easy to sit here and talk to him and just, talk. Spencer had to remind himself that this man was holding him here. That he was, essentially, yet another captor. No matter how nice he was or how prettily it was all dressed up, that's what he was.
Something must've shown on his face because Gabriel was looking at him now with something that seemed to be a cross between worry and resignation, all covered with a mask of amusement. "You don't trust me." He said bluntly.
There was no way Spencer could answer that except honestly. "No."
"I'm trying to help you."
Spencer shrugged his shoulder and carefully set his closed book down on the stack, avoiding looking over at the archangel. "Funny enough, that's what I keep hearing. Yet somehow I keep ending up a prisoner."
"You're not a prisoner here."
"A cage is still a cage, no matter how fancy the bars." Spencer folded his hands in his lap and drew his knees up a bit more towards his chest. "Yours is nicer than the last one that I was in, but no less restrictive. I'm trapped on this island the same as I was locked in that room."
Some of the amusement was gone from Gabriel's face now. He sat up a little more in his chair, a bit more serious as his amber eyes met Spencer's. "Spencer, I meant it when I said you're not a prisoner here. I brought you here to heal and to learn how to control your grace, not to keep you hostage."
"They said the same thing." Fighting back the nausea in his stomach, Spencer clenched his hands tightly where Gabriel couldn't see them and tried to keep as calm as possible. "They said they wanted to help, that they were going to put some sigils on my ribs to hide me, and I was stupid enough to trust them. To trust an angel to keep his word. The next thing I know I'm being knocked out and waking up in that, place." A shiver ran down his spine. "And they kept me in there for days while their angel tried to find a way to leash the dangerous nephilim, all the while telling me it was to keep me safe so Lucifer couldn't use me." Never mind that he would've stayed of his own free will if they'd just given him the choice.
"Spencer…" Gabriel looked like his heart was breaking as he watched Spencer. His wings were curling forward, almost like they were trying to reach out to him, and Spencer could feel the ache coming off him. "I'm sorry your first experience with angels had to be such a damn bad thing and I know you've got no reason to trust a damn thing I've got to say. I get that. Trust takes time, and I swear to Dad I'll find a way to earn it. But I really did bring you here to help you, not to hurt you. You need help learning control and way out here, there's no one that can be bothered by our practice and there's the right kind of wards to keep you hidden without taking your grace from you."
"You really want to teach me?" Spencer asked him. "Not just…just control me. But actually teach me to use what I have."
"Yes." Gabriel answered immediately. "And I can do some of it without ever having to touch you, either. I can keep my grace to myself until you're comfortable with it. For now, I'll show you the things that I can teach you with just my words." His look turned to something just a little sad and a little soft. "Maybe once we do those, you'll feel a little more comfortable."
For some reason Spencer found himself dropping his gaze down and away from Gabriel at that remark. It took him a second to realize that he was embarrassed. Embarrassed! Because he didn't trust his captor! Why on earth should he feel embarrassed about that? Pushing that down, he tried to lift his chin and pretend like he was more confident and in control than he actually was. If Gabriel was willing to teach him then Spencer wasn't going to be stupid enough to turn it down. "Please." He said, meeting Gabriel's eyes and not flinching back. "Teach me."
The Skittles bag vanished from Gabriel's hand and the archangel pushed himself up from the chair with one easy move. He smiled down at Spencer and held out a hand. "C'mon, kid. Let's go somewhere a bit more open for this."
Spencer stared at his hand for a long moment. Then, drawing in a careful breath, he firmed his resolve. Learning didn't mean that he had to actively trust this being. He would take what he taught him and pay close attention to each lesson. As for trust – whether he'd earn that would remain to be seen. Spencer uncurled himself and placed his hand in Gabriel's smaller one.
He tried to ignore how happily his grace leapt at the contact.
They ended up outside on the beach together. Gabriel claimed that it was easier for what they were going to do if they were outside and closer to nature. "A lot of this is going to come a whole lot easier once we can get you squared away with that part of yourself." He told Spencer as they settled down on a patch of sand. "Right now, it's reacting to your wants and needs and causing little minor miracles here and there."
"So what do I do?" Spencer asked. He crossed his legs, facing the ocean like Gabriel had directed, while the archangel settled in beside him.
"If we were home, it wouldn't be a problem. Most fledglings don't have to learn how to rein themselves in because there's nothing they can do up there to cause damage, and there's always an angel watching."
"Like you've been doing for me." He'd noticed how calm his grace was in Gabriel's presence and had figured it was something the archangel was doing.
"Exactly." Gabriel beamed brightly at him. "Now, I'm assuming you'd like to see the mainland some time this century and not just be stuck here, with me, so we're gonna have to do things a bit differently than normal."
What came next was one of the strangest lessons that Spencer had ever been through in his life. It was almost like an exercise in meditation. True to his word, Gabriel never once reached out for Spencer with his grace. He kept space between them as well so that they weren't touching. Not even with his wings did he touch Spencer, though the young genius could feel them up behind them like some sort of protective shield that actually left him feeling a bit more relaxed. He chose not to think about why that was.
It was amazingly easy for Spencer to meditate down and find that place inside of himself where his grace and soul were centered. He'd always been aware of his light on some level or another. Having a name for it and words to put to what he did only made the whole process a little easier. Nothing in Spencer's life had ever felt as good as when he stopped trying to hold back his grace and just let himself bask in it. Later, he would admit to himself that the only thing that kept him grounded in his body, that kept him from just letting his grace go however it wanted, was the anchor of Gabriel's smooth voice talking him through it all.
The archangel didn't teach him to just find his grace, though. He told him about how it worked. How using it could deplete it, just like any other energy source. "Grace is simply another form of energy, if you really boil it down. That's such a simplistic description but it works right now for our purposes. And like any energy, it can get drained if you use it too much. Usually, you'd be plugged into the home office and that would help you get all the juice you need, and you'd only have to tap into your soul power as a last resort or to bolster what you're doing. But right now, touching home isn't the smartest plan. So, I'm gonna teach you how to recharge yourself using the glory of Dad in the things around us." Pausing, Gabriel huffed out a laugh and shook his head. "Wow, I sound like an ass."
There on that beach, Spencer learned not only how to connect with who he really was, but how to always keep that light burning brightly no matter where he was or what was going on around him. In just a few short hours Gabriel gave Spencer access and a sense of control over himself in a way he never had before. Facts and information had always been important to Spencer and there'd been a part of him that was just a bit scared of this part of himself over the years because he'd never known how it worked, what it could do or what might happen. Gabriel gave him that understanding. He talked Spencer through it all and never once hesitated to answer any question that Spencer put to him.
By the time the sun was setting on the horizon, Spencer felt both rejuvenated and yet utterly exhausted. It must've showed because Gabriel smiled at him and called a halt to their lessons for the day. "That's plenty enough for one day, squirt. Let's give some of it time to sink in a bit and let your body rest. For now, why don't we go inside and get something to eat? I'm sure you're starving by now."
He was, actually. His stomach rumbled it's agreement, making Spencer blush and Gabriel laugh.
The two were halfway back to the house before Spencer spoke again. "Thank you." He said softly, not looking over at the man beside him. Gabriel had kept his word today. He'd helped Spencer, taught him, walked him through it all without ever touching him or trying to force him to do anything. He'd done exactly what he'd said he would, he'd helped Spencer, and the young genius felt himself softening just the slightest bit.
He could feel the way Gabriel's grace warmed at his words. "You're more than welcome, kiddo. It's my pleasure."
Together, the two made their way inside. Maybe, just maybe, things were looking up. Maybe. Only time would tell. But for now, Spencer felt a small bit of hope that things might really be okay.