Planning to hunt down the Horsemen wasn't exactly something one could call 'easy'. Nor was it something that was going to happen overnight. First and foremost they had to research them and learn everything they could about them. Or, more accurately, how to stand a chance against them. Because Gabriel wasn't shy about warning them, "They're gonna be powerful. What you boys saw with War? That sounds more like he was in the mood to play. The others aren't gonna be as easy. Especially since you killed their brother."
"Great." Dean grumbled, eyeing the stack of books Bobby was pulling out. The way he looked at them made it clear he'd rather be anywhere but here.
Spencer, however, was perfectly content to seat himself on the chair that Gabriel snapped into existence for him. The archangel snapped him up a little table as well, which he then proceeded to help stack books onto. Spencer settled in without hesitation and pulled the first book off the stack. He only paused once, just long enough to look up at the archangel who was perching on his armrest. There was a question in his look that he knew Gabriel understood. Smiling, Gabriel reached out and ruffled his hair, chuckling as Spencer ducked away. "It's fine, kid. Geek out and read your books. I'll keep myself entertained."
The way that everyone suddenly looked a little cautious had Spencer smothering a chuckle. He apparently didn't know Gabriel as well as these people here did, it would seem, but even he knew him well enough to know that Gabriel keeping himself entertained wasn't exactly the safest thing.
Sam, who was sitting on the end of the couch closest to Spencer's conjured chair, looked up almost hesitantly at them. "Maybe…I could pick your brain a bit? See what kind of facts you have and compare it to what we know. I mean, you're probably our best resource here for the Horsemen."
"I can't say I know a ton about them, kiddo." Gabriel warned him. He shrugged one shoulder and shifted himself until he could lean against the back of the chair, one leg drawn up with his knee pointing in towards Spencer. Why he didn't just pull up his own seat, Spencer had no idea, and he didn't bother worrying about it. He just dove down into the book he held while Gabriel continued to talk. "I wasn't really involved with the Horsemen. Talked a bit with Death a time or two. Those kinds of things, they were more Mike and Luce's area, not mine. Though, Raffy…Raffy might know a bit about Pestilence. He was our healer, so it'd make sense. If things work out with Mike the way I hope, we could ask him for help."
Even though Spencer was looking at his book, he swore he could feel the wince that went around the room. It was enough to have him looking up curiously. Sam and Dean were on the couch, neither one looking at them, and Castiel was by the desk turned away. Even Bobby looked a bit cautious.
"What?" Gabriel asked, his wings tensing a little behind him though his body stayed relaxed. "What is it?"
"Raphael…may not be that pleased with your plans, nor with us, brother." Castiel said slowly.
Dean snorted. "That's putting it lightly. Pretty sure he'll wanna smite us all on sight."
"It's like you guys draw shit to you. What happened?" Gabriel demanded.
Spencer watched, eyes wide, as Dean explained how Castiel had been killed by Raphael when he was trying to stop a seal from being broken – who knew angels could be killed and come back? – and how they'd had a confrontation with him in a circle of holy fire that hadn't ended all that well, either. When Dean got to the part where apparently Raphael believed that God was dead, Spencer felt the shock jolt through his guardian. "He thinks Dad's dead?" Gabriel sounded stunned. "You're kidding me! Dad's not home, but that doesn't mean He's dead."
"Then why isn't He helping?" Castiel asked, voicing the question all of them were wondering. "If He is alive, Gabriel, why does He not help us?"
There was something sad in the way that Gabriel looked over at Castiel. It was a look that Spencer wasn't quite sure about; one that was sad and yet full of affection. "I don't know, kiddo. I'm not Him an I don't claim to understand Him."
"Does it really matter why?" Bobby said. He shrugged one shoulder when everyone looked at him. "What? The point is, He aint helping. The why don't really change anything. All we can do is work with what we got."
"Gramps is right. The best we can do is keep on going an quit hoping for Dad to come in and save the day. So why don't we try getting to work? I'll figure out how to deal with Raf later."
With that clear dismissal – and the tone to Gabriel's voice couldn't be labeled as anything but that – the group dove into their research. It was interesting, Spencer thought, to see people who were so insistent that they didn't really like Gabriel, who didn't trust him and weren't even sure in some ways that they wanted him to be a part of the team, follow what he said like they were orders. Was it just that they knew and understood that Gabriel had the most knowledge here, the most experience, and therefore it was smartest to actually listen to him? Or was it that they just needed someone to step up and speak with authority and shoulder some of the responsibility that had been theirs for too long? Tilting his head, the fledgling looked up at Gabriel through shaggy hair that sheltered his curious gaze.
Gabriel looked down at Spencer and flashed a smirk, though he never broke in his conversation with Sam about Famine. He tipped him a wink out of sight of the others and then gave his hair a small tug before tapping Spencer's book.
Amusement curved Spencer's lips with the ghost of a smile. Right, right. Mind-reading trickster archangels who carried a surprisingly strong parental instinct.
That earned him a nudge of Gabriel's elbow against his head. Spencer chuckled lowly and didn't bother looking back up again. He drew his feet up into the chair and spread the book out over his thighs, unconsciously twisting himself to lean towards Gabriel instead of away from him. His shoulder fit neatly under Gabriel's arm and his own elbow came up to rest on the archangel's curled up leg. He didn't even really pay attention to how physical he was getting with him as he turned his full attention to the first of many books.
Gabriel, however, did notice. He looked down at the kid up against him and his grace gave a happy little hum inside of him. The more that Spencer grew to trust himself, the more he was opening up to his grace and the instincts with it. Those instincts were what had him seeking out physical contact with the archangel. It was why Gabriel kept wrapping his wings around the kid instead of tucking them away like he usually kept them.
Right now, his grace was happy to have Spencer so close, and Spencer was the most relaxed he'd been since they arrived here. Content with that, Gabriel focused back on his conversation with Sam and tried to help brainstorm ways to track down Famine.
It was hours later before Spencer finally unfolded himself from the chair to take a break. He'd been through quite a stack of books by then – the amount of which seemed to amuse and impress the humans in the room. However, he eventually worked through the stack he had, and he wanted a moment to rest his eyes and let some of it sink in. One thing he'd learned through years at college and then at the Bureau was that sometimes you had to step away and let the information you gathered sink in and process. It needed to run through his head and get filed away in the appropriate places before he'd really be able to start making use of it.
Though he'd noticed lately that his body didn't really seem to crave the food and drink it used to, a fact he was damn sure going to remember to bring up with Gabriel ones of these days, that didn't mean that he didn't enjoy them. With that in mind he pushed up from his chair and moved towards the kitchen where he'd left his coffee earlier. This wasn't his home, he wasn't going to just make himself at home here. But the coffee carafe he'd snapped up earlier at breakfast was still sitting in at the table and a touch of his hand told him that it was still amazingly the perfect temperature. Huh. Must be something about conjured up coffee. Or Gabriel had to have done something.
That second thought was confirmed when he looked over and saw Gabriel wink at him.
Spencer was still pouring himself a fresh mug when the phone in his pocket started to vibrate. A quick look at the screen showed him it was Derek who was calling. Spencer looked up, catching Gabriel's eye and gesturing with the phone, letting him know he was going to go take the call outside. He got a nod in return. Satisfied with that, he ignored the others and answered his call while making his way out towards what he'd seen had to be the front door. "Dr. Reid."
"About damn time you answered your phone." Derek said in lieu of greeting. "What on earth is going on, Reid? We just got done meeting and Gideon told us you're taking an indefinite leave of absence? You're quitting the Bureau and you didn't bother calling me up and telling me? Are you okay? Are you sick?"
Spencer held in his sigh as he pushed out Bobby's front door and onto the porch there. He'd known this call was coming and he should've prepared for it. When he'd called to deal with work the other day, it had been a call to Jason and no one else. His mentor had promised him that he'd handle everyone else and Spencer had been cowardly enough to agree to it. He should've known better. "Hello to you too, Morgan. I'm fine, thanks for asking. How're you?"
"Don't try and get cute with me, kid. You've got everyone here worried. I had to promise to report back to the girls just to keep them all from calling you or trying to track you down somehow. What's going on?"
This time there was no stopping his sigh. Spencer sat down on the front steps and looked out over the scrap yard in front of him. He lifted one hand and wiped it over his face, taking a moment to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I really am all right, Morgan." Dropping his hand back down to his lap, he tried to think of what to say, of how to do this. How was he going to calm his friend down? Derek had a reason to be panicked. In his shoes, Spencer would've felt the same way. Sadly, there was no way that Spencer could think of that would completely ease his friend's fears. "I'm sorry I worried all of you. I just, I need some time right now."
"Reid, is this cause of…?"
Spencer knew exactly what he was referring to – the one thing they all knew and none of them spoke about. His hands clenched and he had to force them to relax. "No." Though it would be easy to let him believe it, to let this be an easy excuse, he just couldn't. He couldn't let his best friend believe that. "I haven't…that's done with, Morgan. I swear it is. This is something else entirely. This…it's, ah, it's family stuff."
He heard Derek suck in a sharp breath. "Your Mom?"
"She's okay. This is, different family."
"I didn't know you had any other family."
"I didn't simply spring from the earth fully formed." Spencer said dryly.
He was rewarded with a low, easy laugh. One that told him that he'd succeeded in at least relaxing Derek a little bit. "Listen to you, cracking jokes. I'm almost proud here, Reid. You so much snarkier long distance."
"Less chance of a rubber band to the head." That was Derek's way of retaliating to things. He'd wait until his target wasn't looking and launch a rubber band at the back of their head. The man had uncanny aim. He'd tried to show Spencer once, only to have the young genius end up somehow smacking himself in the face with it. He hadn't tried again.
The teasing relaxed both of them. It eased Spencer enough that he found himself opening up a little more than he'd intended. "I didn't know I had any other family either. This is…it's new. My family, they aren't…" A frustrated breath slipped from him and he pushed up off the steps, suddenly not wanting to be close to this house. He didn't want the chance of anyone inside overhearing him. Because Spencer found himself wanting to talk about this. Even if he couldn't give all the details, he wanted to talk about this to someone who was outside the situation. Someone who knew him. The person that he was, not the one he felt like he was becoming. "My parents, they aren't, they aren't who I thought they were. I found out the truth. I've got all this other family now. Morgan, I've got…I've got siblings."
Gabriel had explained it as best as he could, though Spencer still felt a little confused by it. Logically, he would've thought that the angels would've been considered Uncles or Aunts or whatever since he had two angels as parents. But according to Gabriel, it didn't work that way. Angels didn't have family the way that humans did. By human terms, sure, he could use Aunt or Uncle if he wanted for angels. But in angelic terms, in Heaven, he'd be considered just another brother.
"Damn." Derek said lowly. There was a pause as he processed this. Then, in a move Spencer hadn't expected but really should have, the first thing his friend said was "You need some backup? I'm sure Gideon would give me even just a few days. I could come out for a weekend or something."
A lump formed in Spencer's throat. He'd walked past three cars before he managed to clear it enough to speak. "There's nothing you can do, really."
"I could be there for you. There's no shame in needing a friend when things get shitty. Just say the word and I'll be on the first plane out there."
There was a part of Spencer that wanted to say yes. The idea of having a friend here with him, someone who would be here for him, who knew his past and knew who he was, at least better than anyone else here, it was tempting. Very, very tempting. But at the same time he knew there was no way he could bring anyone out here. How could he even begin to think of bringing anyone into this mess here? how could he think of dragging Derek into this? It wasn't like he was really just stuck with a whole new family that he was trying to come to terms with. He was in the middle of the Apocalypse! Bringing in a friend who was not only human but who he doubted had any experience whatsoever with the supernatural was just asking for him to be hurt. There was no way that Spencer could let his friend get hurt because of him.
"I'll be fine, Morgan." He made himself say. He didn't know if the words were true but he'd always been good at selling that particular lie. It was one he'd become an expert at telling. "I guess I just, I needed to vent a little."
"That's what friends are for, man. You can call me up anytime to talk, you know that. I'll always answer if I can. An if I'm busy, you know I'll call back as quick as I can."
"I know. Thanks." Biting his lip, Spencer looked back towards the house, back towards the mess that waited inside. He almost didn't want to go back there. Was there really any choice, though? He couldn't walk away from this; he'd already decided that. He was committed. That meant he needed to do what had to be done and quit standing out here whining about it. "I hate to cut this short but I really should get back inside. They're all probably wondering where I am."
"All right. But don't let so damn long go between calls this time, kid. I'll be wondering about you and so will everyone else, so you call and check in and let us know how you're doing."
"I will."
Spencer felt a little bit lighter as he made his way back in towards the house. Maybe he hadn't been able to tell Derek the whole truth, but talking about even that little bit was helpful. It was better than nothing.
When he got back inside, he found that most of the others were still chatting away inside of hte living room. Sam, however, was in the kitchen preparing a fresh pot of coffee. Spencer contemplated just trying to skirt past him and slip back into the living room without saying anything to him. He might have agreed to work whit everyone - that didn't mean that he'd forgiven them all. Especially not htis man. Spencer knew it wasn't reasonable and it didn't make sense, considering that Sam had been the nicest one through that whole crappy situation. But he couldn't stop it. He was angrier with Sam than anyone else. Maybe it was because he'd been the nicest. He'd made Spencer feel like he could trust him. Him and his bright, open mind and that earnest sensation that he now knew had been a hint of the human's soul reaching out. Sam had made him want to trust them. Then they'd all betrayed that trust.
The choice of staying or going was taken out of his hands only seconds after he got in the room. His brief pause was just enough time for Sam to turn around and see him standing there. An almost instant smile touched the hunter's lips. "Spencer, hey."
"Hey." Spencer said lowly. He inched, ever so slightly, towards the door that would lead to the living room and back towards the safety of the group.
He should've known it wouldn't be that easy. "Do you have a second?" Sam asked before he could get more than a step or two. He put the coffee pot into the maker and flipped the switch to on and then his full attention was focused right on Spencer. "I just, I wanted to speak with you for a minute.
Spencer hated how the need to run twisted through him. He hated how cowardly it made him feel. It made him hate himself just the slightest bit. That, more than anything else, had him planting his feet. His shoulders went back and his chin tipped up ever so slightly. "What do you need, Sam?" Even to him, his voice sounded cool and flat, a tone not at all like his usual one. There was no shyness present. Just a flat, emotionless tone that gave nothing away.
It made Sam wince. He recovered quickly. "I know that you're angry with us and I know you're hurt, Spencer. You've got every right in the world to be. And I know that nothing I can say to you is going to make it better. What we did, it was wrong. It was beyond wrong. We held you captive here and put you in a place that was torturing you. Even if we didn't know the sigils would do that, it's still, it's no excuse." He spread his hands out on either side of him and the earnest puppy look on his face really should've been illegal. "I'm sorry doesn't seem like enough, but it's all I've got. I am so sorry for what you went through, what we put you through. I don't expect me saying that to change anything. I just, I needed to say it, and I think you needed to hear it. I'm sorry, Spencer."
Dammit. Spencer could feel the guilt and regret coming off of him no matter how much he wished he couldn't. These extra senses of his told him just how honest Sam was being right then. It made it hard to hold on to his anger. Yet self-preservation demanded that he not let it go. Letting himself care and trust could mean letting himself get hurt. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't afford to have that happen.
But holding a grudge had never been something that Spencer was good at.
His arms came up to wrap around his waist in an outward sign of the distress inside of him. "I trusted you." His voice was low, pitched for Sam alone. The living room had gone somewhat quiet and Spencer wasn't stupid enough to think that the others weren't listening in on them. He didn't let himself think on that. He just looked at Sam and tried to get out what he needed to say here. "I trusted the three of you, despite the fact that you trapped me in what I now know was holy fire - something that could've killed me. I trusted you enough to let your angel come up in what was supposed to be an attempt to help. And in return you locked me up like, like I was an animal. A monster. I was so...angry with you all."
"I know." Sam said softly. Achingly. "You have every right to be."
Spencer shook his head. His hands tightened against his sides. "No, not anymore. This, what happened between us all? It's not important. Not in the scheme of things. What you guys did, you did because you thought it was right. Because you were trying to save the world. In the face of that, what's the anger of one person? I don't like being angry and I just, I don't want to waste the energy it would take to maintain it. I'm not going to exhaust myself being angry with you guys anymore. But... I don't trust you." On this, his voice was steady, and he made sure it was clear enough that the others would hear. "I don't trust you and I don't know how long it'll be before I will. I know I should, because if we're going to work together we're going to have to trust each other. But I don't."
"We'll earn that trust, if you'll let us."
"I trust Gabriel, and he trusts you. That'll have to be enough for now."
"It's enough." Sam said. "It's plenty enough. We can work with that."
Spencer gave a small nod and then turned and headed towards the living room. No one in there even bothered to try and pretend they hadn't been listening in. Dean was watching him with something cautious on his face. He'd angled himself in front of Castiel a little like he was trying to protect him. Like he thought that maybe since Spencer had said his piece to Sam he was going to come in here now and say it to them – to Castiel. That wasn't what Spencer planned, though. He knew they'd all heard him. Why bother saying it all again? Still, he found it kind of sweet that Dean thought an angel needed protection.
Being the center of attention wasn't exactly Spencer's favorite thing in the world and all the eyes currently on him were only making him uncomfortable. Thankfully, there was one person in the room who was fully on his side and who had no problems standing up and pulling the attention directly to him. "Well, now that we've got that out of the way – you ready to go, squirt?"
"Go?" Spencer furrowed his brows. Where were they going?
Gabriel walked over to him and smiled at him. "Yep. We got some things to take care of, you and I." That said, he looked to the others. Sam had come in right after Spencer and he joined his brother on the couch now, looking up at them. Gabriel put his hand on Spencer's shoulder in a gesture that was probably meant to look casual but only looked possessive. "All righty then. You kiddos have fun doing your research. I'm gonna take Spencer on home and get in a few hours of grace training before I go see about setting up a safe place to call up my big bro."
"A safe place?" Dean asked.
That had the archangel raising his eyebrow. "Well I'm not stupid enough to just call him down with nothing to cover my ass." The way Gabriel looked at him showed clearly just how stupid he found that idea. "Have you seen it? It's a nice ass; I'd hate to damage it. I'm making damn sure I'm walking away from this, one way or another. To do that takes time and a bit of prep. Two days, minimum. So! We'll go get started on that and we'll come find you guys in the morning."
With no more warning than that, the two of them were gone.