Chapter 15: Pretty much right where chapter 13 left off

"You son of a bitch!" Sanji struggled in his handcuffs. "Call him back! Get him to turn around!" He demanded uselessly.

Gin shook his head, chill as hell compared to the other three. "Not doing that. Even if I wanted to, he wouldn't turn around just because I asked. Besides, I don't want to. I am so looking forward to sleeping in a bed instead of a car."

Sanji just glared at him. "Oh, I'm sorry, was the Baratie just not to your taste? Is that why you ditched it after you took it from us?! Pillows not fluffy enough for your shitbag leader?!"

Gin shuddered. "Nah, man… We'd still be there if we could… But we got slaughtered. Like a year after… We didn't even see it coming, it was just… These two guys. I guess they were friends of the old man or something, because when they saw he wasn't in charge, they went berserk. This guy with red hair and one arm and this… Other guy with just a bigass sword. They tore us apart, man. Only a few of us got out and we've been on the road ever since."

When he looked up to the other three, the room dropped 20 degrees. Not an ounce of sympathy to be found on any of their faces. "So, uh…"

"Isn't that exactly what you did to Sanji?" Luffy asked.

"... Yeah, uh.. N-no, you know what? I don't know why you're all acting like that, I'm keeping you alive! You three are going to be fine after all this, nothing's gonna change for you!"

"Except for all of our friends being dead! My girlfriend's in there!" Luffy shouted.

Gin swallowed hard. "Well, uh… Maybe that'll teach you not to form attachments like that. They tend to end in disaster these days…"

If Luffy weren't bound up, he would've sprung off the bed and beat Gin senseless. He was, though, and he forgot, so he only ended up flopping forward onto his face. He laid there and grumbled incoherently, so Gin disregarded him and looked at Baby instead.

She had her legs crossed and was bouncing one knee impatiently. She huffed, muttered to herself. She briefly made eye contact with Gin, and then immediately looked away, bouncing on the bed. She was fidgeting like crazy. "What the hell's gotten into you?" He asked.

"OH! Do you mean besides zhe fact zhat all of my friends may be killed?" She grumbled, huffed again, and continued her little fidget dance. "I am going zhrough… how you say, wizhdrawal. It has been too long since my last cigarette and I am feeling zhe cravings and it is very annoying not being able to light up."

"... That's a shame," Gin said.

"Well, if you truly are interested in doing right by us, zhe least you could do is retrieve my pack and light one for me?"

He leaned on his chair's back legs. "I think you can just deal. We don't need the place reeking of cigarette smoke."

Baby put on a face that looked like… angry seduction. Aggressive flirting. "Are you sure? Perhaps I should tell you zhat I keep my cigarettes tucked away inside my bra~" She even stuck out her chest for emphasis.

That got him to drop all four legs of the chair onto the floor. He carefully considered his options here and decided there was no downside to getting up and walking toward her. He was smart enough to keep the gun half raised, sort of aimed somewhere in their general area. His free hand reached out, but before he could arrive at Grope City, Baby's hands flew out from behind her back, grabbing both his wrists and latching on with cobra-like strength.

"Wh-" he managed to gasp out before Baby brought her head back, and then slammed her forehead directly into his nose, breaking it instantly. He recoiled back, and before he could react, she wrenched the gun from his hand and pointed it at his face.

Gin threw his hands up in surrender, blood pouring from his nose. "Turn around. Hands behind your back," Baby commanded. He did as she told and soon found himself cuffed with the same cuffs that used to be on her. Then, for good measure, she kicked him in the back of the knee and brought his ass to the floor face-first.

"Hoooooooly shit…" Sanji said, impressed and more than a little turned on.

"That was so cool!" Luffy cheered.

Baby just shrugged. "Oh, zhe number of times I have been handcuffed on a bed, of course I would learn how to pick zhem! Especially zhese ones. Zhey are clearly not police cuffs. Zhey probably got zhem from a sex shop or somezhing."

Before long, all three of them were free and Gin was still on the ground, groaning. Sanji had the gun trained on him while Baby and Luffy tore the RV apart looking for the key to the ignition. "It's not here!" Luffy groaned, slamming one of the cupboard doors shut.

Sanji kicked Gin in the ribs. "Where's the keys, asshole?"

"Well I'm not telling you NOW!" Gin groaned. "And would you stop pointing that thing at me?! It's not even loaded!"

"Oh really? Then why'd you flinch when Baby pulled it on you?" Sanji raised the gun at a window and pulled the trigger. A shot rang out and shattered the glass. "Hah! You little shit, thought you could lie to me!"

"YO! GIN! YOU ALRIGHT IN THERE?! WE HEARD A GUNSHOT!" Came a voice from outside. "I'M COMIN' IN!"

Baby and Luffy both glared at Sanji for a second and then focused back on the door. "I'll handle this," Luffy said, rolling up his sleeves. He stepped in front of the RV's door and waited for it to swing in. The guy patrolling outside was not expecting to be greeted by one of their prisoners, so he didn't react quick enough to just blow Luffy away. Because the guy was on the ground, he was a few feet lower than Luffy, which meant he was at prime headkicking position. Luffy brought up his foot like a soccer player and practically punted a grown-ass man in the head, sending him flying backwards and landing flat on his back.

Luffy dove out of the RV and pounced on the guy. He grabbed him by the collar and shook him, yelling "TALK! WHERE DO YOU KEEP THE CAR KEYS?!"

"Luffy!" Baby called from the RV. "Zhat is not how you get answers!" She walked off the steps, scooped up the guy's dropped assault rifle, and aimed it at him. "You have to really intimidate zhem! TELL US WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW!"

The guy stammered and fumbled for words, which made both of them groan. "This guy's useless!" Luffy said. Frustrated, the two of them scanned the area for anything they could use. With one RV and the jeep gone, the circle of vehicles that made up their camp now consisted of two RVs, a station wagon, and Krieg's Eldorado. What it was really missing… was people. "Wait, where is everyone? Why aren't we being attacked?" Luffy asked.

"K-Krieg brought most of his guys… with him! W-we stayed behind to watch the camp…" the guy beneath Luffy choked out.

Luffy frowned. "You mean, we got stuck being guarded by the stragglers! That sucks!"

Baby bit her thumbnail. "Well, we were captured quite easily. Zhey must not zhink much of us… So. It is just you and Gin, zhen, hm?" She pointed the rifle at him to draw an answer out.

"N-no… No, it's not just the two of us… HELMEPPO, GET 'EM!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

Both Luffy and Baby lifted their heads, scanning all around for any sign of attack. Nothing came after them, though. The guy called again, "H-... HELMEPPO, GET 'EM!" This time, something happened. A guy, presumably Helmeppo, poked his head out from behind the RV oppostite of the one they were held in.

"Oh! Caribou! W-were you calling me?"

Caribou glared at Helmeppo from his spot on the ground. "Y-! You idiot! Why'd you reveal yourself?! You could've taken them by surprise!"

Helmeppo stepped out into the open. "D-Don't call me an idiot! You're the one who let himself get captured!"

"I wouldn't have gotten caught if you were doing your Goddamn job and watching my back!"

"I had to go! You don't expect me to risk severe bladder damage for your sake, do you?!"

Baby and Luffy exchanged exasperated looks and Baby ended their little argument by opening fire on Helmeppo, so bullets would fly past his head. He squealed like a toddler and Baby yelled out "Enough of zhis buffoonery! You! Tell us where zhe keys are kept!"

"K-K-Krieg keeps a hold of 'em! W-We don't know where they are, th-that way no one can try to steal his- his car!" Helmeppo stammered.

At that moment, Sanji leaned out the RV door. His gun was still trained on Gin, but he looked to Luffy and Baby. "We all okay out here? I heard gunshots."

"Physically? We are fine. But in zhe long run? We are… ah, what is zhe expression? Up shit creek."

Luffy kicked at the guy he was standing over. "These idiots don't have any of the car keys! They're all with that Krieg guy! So he can protect his big stupid car!"

"Shit…" Sanji pondered for a second. "Wait. Hold on, I have an idea."

Three rifles went up at Law and Perona, and Krieg chuckled. "Looks like you two are first… All I gotta do is-"

That's when his walkie-talkie suddenly chirped to life. "Uh… Hey, Boss? You got a sec?"

Rolling his eyes dramatically, Krieg reached into his back pocket and pulled it out. "Gin! Now I am in the middle of some business here, so you had better have a DAMN good reason for interruptin' me! Now what can I do for you?"

"Hey, shitdick!" That wasn't Gin's voice. That was Sanji's. And boy did he sound chipper. "How's it going? Remember me?"

Krieg looked to his captives, and then to his henchmen. "... Would y'all pardon me for a moment? I think I need to take this." He stepped away and faced the wall, preventing the others from hearing him. "Now, I am to assume the reason I'm hearin' your voice is because y'all have decided to join us?"

Sanji laughed over the walkie-talkie. "Not exactly. See, I've got a gun pointed at the head of someone precious to you. I think you and I should talk about that."

It was Krieg's turn to laugh. He rubbed the tears from his eyes. "Boy, there ain't no one in that camp I'd qualify as 'precious to me'. Y'all are gonna have to try a little harder than that."

"Did I say someone? My bad. I meant something. Luffy, thump the hood, would ya?" There was a sudden banging, like someone pounding on the hood of a car, and Krieg felt his heart drop into his stomach.

"Alright, now, let's all be calm, son. Aheheh, let's uh… Not do somethin' some of us might regret, eh?"

"You might have already crossed that line, Krieg. I don't know what you've been up to, so here's how this is going to work. If any of my friends are dead, I am going to dismantle this car and there is not a damn thing you and your three flunkies can do about it." Sanji's tone was ice cold.

"Son, that car is worth more than a dozen men's lives. Scratching the paint on it is a capital offense-"

"So is gunning down a bunch of people just trying to make it! So what's it gonna be, Krieg?"

Krieg muttered and grumbled to himself. As far as he knew, there was just a lot of blind cover fire being exchanged… The only casualties he saw were his own men, which he thought was quite unfair.

He pulled away from the walkie-talkie. "HEY! YOU TWO!" He turned his head back toward Law and Perona. "COULD Y'ALL CONFIRM TO YOUR FRIEND HERE THAT Y'AIN'T HURT?"

"... Whhhaat?" Law said.

"Your friend! Sanji! He's ah, he's callin' to make sure y'all are okay!"

Something had Krieg nervous. Neither Law nor Perona knew what it could be, but Perona knew how to make it worse. She sucked in a breath, bit her lower lip, and wailed out "OH IT HURTS! IT HUUUURTS! LAW, I'M DYING! I-I CAN'T BREATHE, IT HURTS SO BADLY! I TH-THINK HE PIERCED MY LUNG! I-I'm ch-choking on blood… Blech… Ech… I-I always… Loved… y-you… Law… Bleeggghhh…"

Krieg swallowed so hard it was audible and he laughed into the walkie-talkie. "Ah, th-that there was just a joke, son. Just a bit a' humor, th-that's all it was! R-right? A good laugh!"

Perona let out another dramatic death rattle and Krieg felt the sweat drip from his brow down to his chin.

"That's one of them. What about the others?" Sanji asked.

"W-... Well, shoot, boy, do you want me to round up everyone and get 'em to sound off?!"

Sanji shrugged and said, as nonchalantly as possible, "If that's too much work, then my friend here will be happy to go to town on the car with a crowbar."

"I'LL DO IT MAN, I'M CRAZY!" Luffy shouted. He had a crowbar raised above his head, ready to bring it down on a headlight.

"N-now now now, let's ah, let's not do anything hasty, eh… Give me a moment to discuss this situation with my ah… Companions here."

The radio went silent and Luffy looked to Sanji with the crowbar still raised. "Is it working?"

"I have no idea. This is such a long shot, I don't know what to expect next. I'm mostly just stalling." Sanji had sent Baby on the walk to retrieve the van they drove all this way in. The keys to that were at least still on the front seat, but she still had to walk all that way. Right now, Sanji's entire hopes rested on A) the idea that his friends were still okay, and B) that Krieg cared about his car as much as he claimed to. If either of those things ended up being false, then the three of them were screwed in multiple ways.

So while Sanji was cool on the outside, he was glad Krieg couldn't see him sweating. He spoke into the walkie-talkie again. "So what's the verdict?"

"N-now hold your horses, boy!" Krieg snapped. "We are still deliberatin'!" He was huddled in with Monet and Vergo, whispering back and forth about the situation.

With their backs turned to Law and Perona, no one was really watching them. This came in handy when they heard a soft tapping on the doorwall and turned around to see Robin on the other side of the glass. She quietly slid the door open and let the duo in, leaving the three of them outside to deliberate further.

"What's going on? What are they doing?" Robin whispered.

"I don't know, I think Sanji's on the other end of their walkie-talkie. He's trying to get them to let us go, I think." Law said.

Robin let out a sigh of relief. "Well, at least they're okay… I think we might be doomed, though."

"... Why's that?" Perona asked.

Robin gestured to the front of the house with her head.

Back outside, Krieg was ready to break the huddle. "Alright! So here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna play along with the brat. We're gonna go round up all his little friends, make nice, tell them we're sorry, all the works. Then, once they've all sounded off… We open fire. Kill 'em all. Then we drive back to the camp, kill those three… And maybe kill Gin for screwin' up so bad. There, easy!"

"And this'll work?" Monet asked. "Because we haven't had much luck so far."

"That's because they're all hidin'! Once we draw 'em out, they'll be in the open! Nowhere to run! All we gotta do is disarm 'em. Charm 'em into comin' out!"

Monet nodded, understanding. "Charm them. Got it." She crossed her arms and gripped the bottom of her tank top, starting to lift it over her head.

Krieg grabbed her hands before she could pull her top off. "I was gonna suggest we just get ol' Sanji to call 'em out, but uh… Y'know what, keep that idea on standby." He lifted his head up and saw the back porch was completely empty now. "Wh- Aw son of a bitch! They gave us the slip!" He muttered some profanity under his breath. "Ahh well, we'll get 'em soon enough. C'mon, let's go round up the boys an' tell 'em the new plan."

He clicked the walkie-talkie as the trio ambled across the backyard. "Alright, Sanji, you win. I'm gonna get all your little friends to sound off and then we'll be square. Now you just make sure that there car ain't sufferin'!"

"You got it," Sanji said. Luffy's eyes widened in surprise.

"Whoa, did it work!? We pulled it off!"

"Nope. I don't trust him one bit. I'm just playing along until…" at that moment, the van appeared on the road and Baby waved out the window.

"ALLO!"

"She shows up. Let's roll."

As Krieg rounded the corner, he clicked into the walkie-talkie again. "Now, to make this easier on us all, why don't you give me a list of everyone's name? That way I can… show them that I mean… uh…" he trailed off as the cul-de-sac's street came into view. There had to be hundreds of them. Bouncing off each other like marbles being poured into a bathtub, rotted walking corpses pouring through the opened gate. The RV and jeep were surrounded, and it was pretty clear that any of Krieg's men that were left out there were now zombie chow.

Krieg let out a dark chuckle, running his hand through his hair. "Well, ain't that a fine mess? Aahhh, it figures, don't it? Just my fuckin' luck." He brought the walkie-talkie to his mouth. "Well, son, I got some good news and some bad news. The ah, good news is you don't gotta worry about my men shootin' yours up. The bad news, well… Just take a listen for yerself." He held out the device, pointing it toward the snarling horde that were flooding the street.

Sanji, Baby, and Luffy all felt their blood freeze.

"So at this point, I don't even want yer damn town! Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta figure out a way to get my ass outta here. So long, Sanji! Better luck next time…"

"Krieg! KRIEG!" Sanji yelled into the device.

"Oh no…" Baby felt the tears welling up and her face burned hot with dread. "Oh no… Z-zhere were so many of zhem…"

"We gotta hurry. This place has to have weapons and junk, right?! Come on! We gotta get over there and save 'em for real!" Luffy shouted. Before the others could agree, he was already bursting into the RV. He pointed at the trio sitting on the floor. Not only were they all handcuffed, their cuffs were looped through one another, making it even harder to escape. "HEY! WHERE ARE THE GUNS!?"

"Fuck you, I'm not telling you-" Gin started before Helmeppo cut him off.

"In the other RV, in the cabinets!"

"Awesome! Thanks!" Luffy bounded back out and shouted for Sanji and Baby to follow him.

"Dude! What the hell?!" Gin said.

Helmeppo shrugged, "H-hey, I'm not putting up a fight anymore! Those guys are nuts!"

The van was haphazardly loaded up with anything they could grab in one armful. No time for multiple trips, just a bunch of pistols, hunting rifles, boxes of ammo, even two flare guns. Luffy kept a hold of the crowbar he was threatening the Eldorado with and Baby strapped herself with as many hunting knives with as many holsters as she could find. Sanji hopped behind the steering wheel of the van and floored it.

As they tore down the highway, he realized he'd rather be facing the zombies than Krieg anyway.