I know this chapter, and the last one or so, may feel a bit like filler, but I need to get some things out while still moving things along, so bear with me folks. We're over halfway through the story now :)
Sam had to admit it felt good to get out of the motel room and stretch his legs out. Hours in the car and then a few more hours in the motel room digging up information on their ghost had left him a bit stiff and a bit, well, bored. However, now that they had all the information that they needed, all they had to do was wait for nightfall so they could go and take care of things. That was why he was out now fetching them something to eat. It gave him the opportunity to stretch while also getting them food before their night plans caught up with them.
He'd expected to walk to the diner, get some food, and enjoy a nice walk back. What he hadn't expected was to find an archangel sitting in a booth in the diner sipping on a chocolate milkshake.
The first thing that Sam noticed on Gabriel's face was that he looked – tired. It was barely there, just a hint around the eyes as Sam got close to him, but it was there, just enough for Sam to catch a glimpse of it. Then Gabriel was smiling at him and Sam was caught off guard by just how open and honest that smile was. It was like Gabriel was actually happy to see him. Sam deliberately ignored the little warm feeling in his stomach that that thought gave him.
He made his way through the diner and over to Gabriel's table. There was no doubt that the archangel wasn't here just by chance. If he was here, there was a purpose, and avoiding him would do no good. Besides, a small part of Sam whispered, did you really want to avoid him anyways?
"Hey, Samoose." Gabriel greeted him brightly as Sam slipped down into the booth with him. "Fancy seeing you here."
Sam resisted the urge to roll his eyes, though a corner of his mouth tried to twitch up. "Yes, fancy that. Amazing coincidence." He said dryly.
Mischievousness twinkled in amber eyes as Gabriel took another drink off his milkshake. It was a bit distracting and Sam found himself trying not to shift in his seat as he watched Gabriel wrap his lips around the straw in a way that was a bit too obscene to be accidental. He knew the affect he was having, too, the little shit. When he pulled off the straw, he arched one eyebrow and didn't even bother pretending innocence. "Problems, Sammy boy?"
"It's Sam." Not the most eloquent of responses but it was the best he could manage at the moment. This really wasn't a road he should be even thinking about going down here. Any attraction he'd ever felt for this short, snarky little bundle of sass, well, it would only get him in trouble now. This was the apocalypse! It wasn't time to think about things like that. Especially not with someone who had tortured him plenty of times in his past, no matter that it'd been for a good cause. Besides, there was no point in someone like him attempting to ever even pretend to flirt a little with someone like Gabriel.
The flirty look faded off Gabriel's face and his expression shifted into a scowl. "You're way too self-deprecating for your own good, has anyone ever told you that?" Without giving Sam time to answer, he pushed his milkshake to the side and folded his arms on the table, leaning forward on them in a way that put him in Sam's space a lot more than his small frame would suggest he was capable of. "I won't sit here and tell you that you didn't make mistakes, Sammy—Sam. You did. Not just little ones, either. You screwed up in epic proportions. I mean, Ruby." He put a wealth of scorn into just that single name.
Sam winced. "Gee, thanks..."
"Not done yet." Gabriel interrupted him firmly. His eyes were locked on Sam and something in them seemed to spark a little, a hint of power behind them that wasn't quite angelic, but wasn't fully pagan, either. It was enough to have Sam's jaw snapping shut. "You screwed up, kiddo – but you're fixing it. We're all fixing it. And you're not the only one that made mistakes here. In some ways, you get a little more leeway on your mistakes than the rest of us, because you've been manipulated from the start. Ever since Azazel fed you that little bit of go-juice, your life's been mapped out and you've had Heaven and Hell both in their own way trying to help shove you forward. They've turned you and your brother into pawns in their giant chess game." He paused, tilting his head in that odd angelic move that showed thought. "Not pawns." He corrected. "More like the Queens. Most important pieces on the board. The fact that you've resisted as much as you have is testament to just how strong a person you really are."
"I'm really not." Sam said softly. He knew he wasn't strong. How could Gabriel say that, knowing the things he'd done? How could he think anything about Sam was strong? He'd screwed up so many times. This whole thing, all of it, wouldn't be happening if he hadn't messed up. This was on his head. His shoulders. And it was one hell of a heavy burden. But it was a burden that he had to bear.
He heard a soft sigh from the being across the table. Then, to his complete surprise, Gabriel slid a hand across the table and caught hold of one of Sam's before he could even think to move. "Not alone." He told him gently. "You don't have to do this alone. That was part of your problem before, kiddo. Trusting the wrong people, trying to take everything on yourself and take care of it all. Let people in this time. Let us help. You don't have to carry all of this alone."
Sam wanted so badly to take what was being offered here. He wanted to curl his hand around Gabriel's and take the help that the archangel was extending to him. Because, oh, it sounded perfect. But he just, he didn't know. He didn't know if he could and he didn't know how. How do you share something like that?
"Easy." Gabriel said, and Sam finally became aware of the fact that Gabriel wasn't just responding to his words or his expressions, but to his thoughts, and he had only a second to feel truly horrified by the idea that Gabriel was reading his mind before he continued to speak. "You stop holding it all inside. I get that you gotta do it in front of your brother. Trust me, I get it. You worry about what Deano's gonna say or do an how little he trusts you and just, yeah. I get it. But you don't have to pull that shit in front of me. I may tease you, I'll definitely tell you loud and clear if I think you're being an idiot, but I'll listen." His mouth curved up into a grin. "If your thoughts haven't scared me off so far, trust me, it aint gonna happen."
"You've been reading my mind." Sam said slowly, almost numbly.
"Kind of hard not to, kiddo." Gabriel gave his hand one last squeeze and then drew his touch back and sat back in his seat once more. "Humans, you think so damn loud all the time, and you've still got enough mojo in you that it makes your thoughts a little bit louder than normal. You should probably work on that, actually. Unless you want everyone you come across able to see in that noggin of yours."
The thought of that left Sam feeling a little sick and a whole lot exposed. How much had been heard already? How many things did the angels know just because they'd been able to pluck it out of his or Dean's head?
Gabriel snorted and jerked Sam out of his dark spiral of thoughts. "Oh, quit angsting." He told the hunter, pulling his milkshake back over in front of him and taking another drink. With one hand he gestured up towards Sam's head. "You've got this big cloud of emo angst hanging over your head and it's ruining my chocolate buzz. I came down here to escape from Mikey and politics for a bit, not to watch you hate on yourself. If you're so worried about your thoughts, I'll show you how to shield them on your own. For now…" Before Sam could do anything, Gabriel reached out and flicked a finger dead center on Sam's forehead. "There. Shielded, courtesy of yours truly, against everything except me." He winked. "I'm not about to take away my own fun."
For a moment Sam just sat and stared at him. He could say a few different things here. He could growl at Gabriel for messing with his head without asking, or for shielding him from everyone but Gabriel. He could demand to know what on earth prompted all of this from a being who only seemed to have joined their side because the fledgling he was looking after had wanted to. He could question just how much of this was honest conversation between them and how much was done simply to keep him on the straight and narrow so their side had a better chance of winning. But, looking at him, Sam found that he didn't want to. He didn't want to question all of it. He didn't want to worry constantly that he was making yet another friend who was going to screw him over in the end. More than that, he didn't want to have yet another person that he had to put on some act in front of. So he ignored all the worries and warnings in his head and just let himself relax in what felt like the first time in a long time. "Thank you."
The grin he got in return was blinding. "Anytime."
As if she'd just been waiting this whole time until it was safe to come up – which, considering who he was sitting with, was a distinct possibility, Sam wouldn't put it past Gabriel to use his powers to keep people away while they talked – a waitress came over to their table then carrying two paper bags that she set down. "Here you go, boys." She said with a bright smile. "You have a good day, now!"
Sam looked at the bags and then up at Gabriel, who was grinning at him. The archangel didn't say anything, didn't comment on the fact that he'd apparently ordered the food that Sam was going to get – a quick look in the back showed exactly what he would've ordered for himself and for Dean – just wiggled his eyebrows and pushed up from the table. "C'mon, Samosa. I'm sure our boys are hungry."
What else could he do? Shaking his head, Sam pushed up from the booth as well and grabbed the bags. Then he followed Gabriel out of the diner.
Their walk back to the motel was filled with conversation and laugher. More laughter than Sam remembered having for quite a while. It was as if Gabriel had decided that they were free to be friends now and he threw himself into it wholeheartedly. He entertained Sam the whole way back with a story about a prank war between him and his son, Fenrir, that had Sam almost wheezing from laughing so hard. It was the most animated and open that Sam could ever remember seeing Gabriel be. He was grinning and he seemed to honestly enjoy getting Sam to laugh, like it was all he wanted to do. The feeling that gave the hunter was, nice.
But when they got back to the motel, Sam watched as a change came over the trickster. Nothing huge – not even all that noticeable. If he hadn't been looking he might not have seen it. Gabriel straightened himself up a little, squaring his shoulders ever so slightly, and the hint of openness in his gaze faded away to something else. It wasn't any less warm or happy, but it was sheltered. Sam recognized it because it was the same thing he'd seen his brother do plenty of times before when he hadn't known that Sam was looking. Gabriel was putting his usual masks back into place. The ones that he could hide behind if needed, to keep everyone else from seeing any weakness, any signs of worry or tiredness.
In a way, it kind of made Sam feel good. It felt good to know that Gabriel felt comfortable letting his guard down around Sam. He didn't feel the need to pretend to be strong for him like he was doing now for the others. The only person he could think of so far that he'd seen Gabriel relax around was Spencer, and even then that was different. Around Spencer he was soft and warm in a way, but he also held himself back some. Kind of like…kind of like a father protecting their child. Or how Dean tried to protect Sam.
All of that control and ease in both of them changed when they finally reached the motel room and the door opened. All of it changed and faded away when they caught sight of the look on Spencer's face. It looked like someone had slapped him. Dean stood just beyond him in the room and the look on his face wasn't any better. What the hell had happened here? What was going on?
Sam didn't have to ask – Gabriel did that for him. "What is it?" he demanded, shouldering his way past Sam and going directly to Spencer. "What's wrong?"
While Gabriel focused on Spencer, Sam focused on Dean. "Dean?" He knew his brother would understand everything he was asking with that single use of his name. They'd built up years of experience at reading one another. They knew almost all the ways that the other could say their name and all the various meanings that could sit behind it. Just like they knew one another's reactions. That was why Sam knew that whatever this was, it was bad, because Dean actually flinched at the sound of his name. Then, to make matters worse, his eyes darted over to Spencer and he gave him a glare that Sam knew far too well. A glare that clearly said Shut up and don't say a word. It was a glare Dean had given Sam many times when they were kids and he'd taken the punishment for something with John or with the schools or anyone so that Sam wouldn't have to. The glare that told him to keep his mouth shut and let Dean handle it. But why was he giving Spencer that glare?
"It's nothing." Dean said, refusing to look directly at Sam. There was something about him, this sort of energy that made it clear just how little he wanted to be in here right now.
"Nothing?" Sam repeated slowly. Did he really think that Sam was going to buy that?
His brother glared and snapped right back at him. "Nothing. Just a private conversation, if that's all right with you." Then, in true Dean fashion, he retreated to the closest exit – the bathroom.
What the hell was going on here? Sam turned towards Spencer even as the bathroom door slammed shut. What he saw there didn't really ease his worries any. Spencer's face was a calm and composed mask that gave away almost nothing. When Sam had first met him, he'd noted Spencer's uncanny ability to lie to their face. He was far too practiced at putting on a mask and at using things around him to hide it when he couldn't. His face was composed now and a bit of hair helped to hide the eyes that Sam knew would've given away something .Spencer always seemed to give things away in his eyes. When he spoke, his voice was as calm as if they were discussing the weather, not something that had had both Spencer and Dean looking stunned and horrified only moments ago. "If he wants to talk about it, he'll tell you."
"We're supposed to be a team." Sam said slowly, watching Spencer's face the whole time. "That means we share information. We don't keep secrets. If there's something going on, I need to know about it. I deserve to know about it."
If he hadn't been staring so closely he wouldn't have seen the miniscule flinch his words caused. However, even if he hadn't seen that, he still would've seen the way that Gabriel straightened up and how he leaned forward like he wanted to go over to Spencer. Watching Gabriel seemed to be a good way to gauge Spencer's mood sometimes. Better than watching the kid, that was for sure. Spencer may keep things under a mask but Gabriel didn't seem to see a need to hide his own worry for Spencer. Judging by the way he was looking at the fledgling right then, the emotions Spencer was feeling couldn't be very positive.
Sam was surprised when Spencer turned to look at him without hiding behind anything. Big brown eyes met his and they carried an apology in them. "I'm not trying to be deceptive or facetious, Sam. But this is a conversation you need to have with your brother. Please."
What other answer could Sam give here? In the face of Spencer's earnest request he couldn't bring himself to push. How on earth did the kid manage to do that? One look with that face and Sam was beginning to understand what people meant when they grumbled at him about his 'puppy dog look'. "Okay."
The relief on Spencer's face was obvious. "Thank you."
Spencer turned back to the map and behind his back Gabriel and Sam exchanged a look. Whatever was going on here it was something Sam planned on getting to the bottom of, but not right now. It'd have to wait for later. He'd talk with Dean, just like Spencer suggested - the look that Gabriel had said he'd talk to Spencer later as well.
They let Spencer have a moment of quiet while Sam divvied up the food. Then Gabriel gave a low whistle to catch the fledgling's attention. As soon as Spencer spun around, the trickster pointed towards the table. "Take a break and eat, baby bird. You look like you've been going at it for hours. When you're done you can walk us through whatever you've found. But eat first."
It was kind of funny to watch the way that Spencer opened his mouth as if he was going to protest only to snap it shut at a raised eyebrow and a look from Gabriel. The kid - and in that moment, wow, did he ever look like a kid - shot a mulish look down towards the floor that lasted only a second before it was smothered under the usual mask he wore. Spencer straightened his shoulders and walked over to join Sam, who was now sitting at the table. Gabriel gave a pleased little smile and then moved over to drop himself down on the couch. He snapped up a candy bar and started to unwrap it while the boys began to open their food. Sam opened up the salad container, pleased and a bit surprised to see the quality of his food. This couldn't be diner fare.
"It is." Gabriel said, grinning over at him. "Just with a few…extras. My own special touch."
Sam eyed his food and then eyed the trickster. "Yeah, because that's not at all disturbing."
Briefly looking up from his own taco salad, Spencer eyed Sam's bowl and then looked back down at his own food. "It's fine. There's nothing abnormal or out of place in your salad. Though I'm sure if you doubt him enough he may feel the need to add something simply out of spite."
"Traitor!" Gabriel called out.
The angle Spencer sat at prevented Gabriel from seeing the smirk that flash there and gone again on Spencer's face. Sam saw it, though, and smothered a laugh. Either this was a side of Spencer that they hadn't seen so far, a very distinct possibility, or he was spending a bit too much time with a known trickster. He seemed to be showing more and more of a playful side as time went on.
As they started to eat, it clicked for Sam that his brother hadn't come out of the bathroom yet. He cast a curious and just slightly worried look over in the bathroom's direction. Then he sighed. Not a whole lot he could do there, really. Nothing short of going over and banging on the door and that was pretty much an express ticket to dealing with one pissed off brother. He was just going to have to wait him out for now. Resigned to that, Sam turned his attention back to the table. As he forked up his first bite and put it in his mouth he happened to be glancing up just enough to catch it as Spencer grimaced and shifted his shoulders in a way Sam had noticed him doing a few times.
It was a move that Sam had seen plenty of times on Dean. Hell, he'd done it himself often enough after one of the million times that he'd been thrown up against a wall or had his back slammed into something. Spencer seemed to move like that a lot, though, despite the fact that Sam hadn't seen or heard of anything happening to him that might cause that.
He wasn't the only one to see it. Even though Sam could've swore the archangel wasn't paying any of them the least bit of attention, too lost in his candy bar and his own thoughts, he was suddenly pushing his way up off the motel couch and strolling over towards Spencer. "Back bugging you again, kiddo?"
Spencer's eyes flashed up towards the archangel with just a bit of surprise. Then Sam watched as whatever he felt was concealed behind long lashes. It hid those expressive eyes of his without being too obvious about it, fitting in perfectly with the shy look that Spencer usually had. "I'm okay."
"Mm hm." Gabriel rolled his eyes and moved to stand right behind Spencer. From this angle Sam couldn't quite see what it was that Gabriel did, only that his hands were on Spencer's back, but whatever it was effectively cut off what Spencer had been about to say and practically had his eyes rolling up in his head. Behind him, Gabriel looked smug. "That's what I thought." Lightly, he thumped the back of Spencer's head. "What did I tell you before?"
"To let you know when it gets bad." Spencer recited dutifully. A hint of color filled his cheeks and Sam caught just a small glimpse of nervous eyes as they looked up at him and then quickly away. "It didn't seem that bad, though. I just, I don't really notice it. It always aches anymore."
"Yeah, I'm thinking it's about time to let these bad boys out."
That, of course, had to be right about the time that Dean came walking out of the bathroom. Because he always seemed to have the absolute worst timing ever. Sam had feeling it was just something that big brothers had built into them. This strange ability to come into a room at the most inopportune time. Dean had done it plenty of time over the years, resulting in quite a bit of embarrassment for Sam and amusement for Dean. Now, it provided him with a view that he clearly didn't want to see, if the little twist to his mouth was any indicator. "You two mind saving that for later?" He asked as he came over to take the only other open seat on the end of the bed nearest them. "I don't need to watch a couple angels bad touching each other."
"Jealous?" Gabriel shot back. His hands moved up off Spencer's back to his shoulders to start rubbing there and Sam had a feeling it wasn't just because they were sore. The way Spencer had flinched at Dean's words and hunched forward made it clear he was embarrassed and trying to move away. Gabriel just wasn't allowing it. He kept rubbing at Spencer's shoulders while he gave Dean his best smirk.
Dean didn't get a chance to make any remark. Spencer abruptly pulled himself away from Gabriel's hands and hunched forward over his food, his hair coming down to perfectly shelter his face. At the same time, he spoke in a voice so dry in made more than just Sam wince. "If you two insist on bickering, kindly find someone else to place in the middle, please."
His low words were enough to cut off any argument that might've progressed between Gabriel and Dean. The way they were with one another left Sam to think that they wouldn't ever truly get along without bickering of some kind. It just seemed to be how they spoke to one another. Sarcastic remarks, rude tones, the potential for a fight brewing just underneath it all. But neither one of them was willing to put Spencer in the middle of it. Especially not after he made it clear with every tense inch of his body just how uncomfortable it made him. Sam just hoped that didn't mean that they'd try to use him next. He wouldn't be as polite about it as Spencer had just been.
Wincing a little, Gabriel reached out and smoothed the flat of his hand over Spencer's back. "Sorry, little bird."
"It's fine." Spencer shrugged one shoulder like it was nothing, brushing off whatever he'd been feeling and pushing it away. When he looked up at Gabriel there were no signs of discomfort on his face anymore. He had a small smile and a curious look for the archangel. "I almost didn't think to ask. How did things go with Michael? I thought you two were off to do your ritual."
That transformed Gabriel's expression to one of immense glee and smug satisfaction. "Done, done, and done. Did you doubt me?" He brought a hand up and laid it over his heart while faking a shocked look. "Sparrow, I'm hurt!"
Spencer snorted and rolled his eyes. "Pardon me for wondering if perchance raising Death and speaking with him might not exactly be easy."
"You're forgiven." Gabriel said, as if Spencer's remark had been entirely serious. Then he reached out and tapped his nose. "Just don't let it happen again. You can't doubt my awesomeness, kiddo. It's too great."
That drew a laugh from Sam, an eye roll from Spencer, and a loud "Oh, please!" from Dean.
Just like that, the little bit of tension in the group was broken. That was quite a skill Gabriel had. Something told Sam a lot of his behavior there had been solely for the purpose of relaxing everyone. He seemed to be pretty good at doing that.
So now they had Death's ring to go with War's. All they needed now was to track down Famine and Pestilence. With that hope in mind, Sam looked up to the map on the wall.
He wasn't the only one. Spencer was looking up at it again and there was a little furrow between his brows that said that he was thinking once more. He was only absently paying attention to the food that he kept forking up into his mouth. It was like he was eating on autopilot. "I think I might have a way to track down Famine." He said between bites. "I just... would you mind checking a few of these things for me, Gabriel? I need to know if some of them could be Famine's work or not. Once I weed out what is and isn't him, I might be able to better track him."
"No problem." Gabriel moved over to the map and glanced at the things that Spencer had pinned up there. "I'll check some of them out while you three go grave-digging tonight. I'll be able to feel if he was at one of these places."
Spencer was suddenly sitting up much straighter in his seat and he looked slightly alarmed. "The three of us? Now, wait a second." His eyes darted back and forth between Sam and Dean. "I thought I was coming along simply for research purposes."
A gleeful grin tugged at Dean's lips. The man never could resist teasing anyone. "What, you got a little problem with digging graves, Doc?"
"After having someone hold a gun on you and force you to dig your own, you tend to shy away from such acts." Spencer snapped out. Judging by the way he blanched afterwards, he hadn't exactly meant to blurt that out. Sam filed away the little bit of information with all the other tidbits he was picking up here and there about their newest companion. He didn't ask any questions, though. Not when he could see how uncomfortable Spencer was.
In true Dean form, the older Winchester shrugged one shoulder and picked up the burger that Sam had brought for him. "Try digging your way out of your own grave. By hand."
Just thinking about that was enough to make Sam feel a little sick. He lowered the bite he'd been just about to take. Spencer, however, only faltered for a short second. Then he shook his head. "No, thank you. I doubt I'd get far. Have you looked at me?" Spencer gestured towards himself. "Do I look like the type to manage that? I'd be more hindrance than help in any sort of grave-digging endeavors."
"Says the dude who broke my hand." Dean shot back. "I'd say you're stronger than you think, Doc."
That had Gabriel turning around towards them again. He looked far too pleased, Sam thought, at the idea that Spencer had broken Dean's hand. "You broke his hand?"
Red stained Spencer's cheeks. "Accidentally!" he hurried to explain. "He wanted to see how I fought and when he hit me, it broke his hand. I didn't mean for it to happen!"
Gabriel laughed, warm and bright, and reached out to ruffle Spencer's hair. The grin he shot Dean's way was more a smirk than anything else. It was a pure trickster look. "Haven't you learned not to fight with the angels yet, Deano? I keep telling you guys he's a fledgling. You gotta learn to start thinking of him like that or you'll end up with a lot more than a broken hand." With one last grin and a wink, the archangel focused back on the maps again. "All right, kiddo, before it gets dark and you guys head out, come show me which ones I need to go check out."