By the time the boys got back from their salt-and-burn that night, Spencer was quite sure he never wanted to be a hunter. Angelic strength or not, climbing down into a grave and digging up bodies was not exactly his idea of a good time. He'd done the job, alternated with the boys to dig things up despite Dean's attempts to make him and Sam do all the work, and it hadn't exactly been hard or anything like that. But his already aching back was extremely displeased with all the work he'd done and he was pretty damn filthy from the shovelful of dirt Dean had seen fit to 'accidentally' toss his way.
Though that was kind of worth the grimace and mutters when Dean realized that Spencer was going to have to get into his car like that. He'd heard Dean clearly mutter about coming out to clean it up in the morning.
Just to make his night even better, when he dragged himself back into his motel room, it was to find that he wasn't the only one in there. And it wasn't just Gabriel, either. He could've handled that. No, Michael was standing right by Gabriel's side in front of the map. The two of them turned to look at him as soon as he came in and there was a sparkle of mirth in Gabriel's eyes that pushed Spencer's already strained patience. He lifted a finger and pointed it at the trickster. "Not a word, Gabriel. Not a single word."
That just made Gabriel's grin grow wider.
Spencer let out a disgusted sigh and snapped the door shut behind him. Then he ignored the two archangels completely. Let them hang out in his room and stare at the map. Who cared? Right now the only thing that Spencer cared about was the shower. He was tired, his back hurt, and there was dirt in places it shouldn't ever be. He just wanted clean.
He waited only until he was inside the bathroom before he started stripping off layers. At the same time, he got the water on and adjusted to the right temperature and then turned the shower on. It wasn't the best – motel showers never were – but when he stepped underneath the spray he couldn't help the happy little sigh that slid out. Oh, much better. Much, much better. He dunked himself a few times and let the water wash over his face. He was dunking himself again when he heard the bathroom door open. The only thing that kept him from scrambling to try and hide, as if there were anywhere in a shower a person could actually hide, was that he knew the grace that was coming in. "Gabriel, what are you doing?"
"Came to check on you and see how you're feeling. You looked a little grumpy."
A peek out the corner of the curtain showed that his guardian had perched himself on the sink. Spencer rolled his eyes and ducked back under the spray while trying very hard not to be embarrassed here. He wasn't the type to be comfortable naked around anyone. Having someone in here while he was showering… "We really need to have a talk about boundaries."
He heard Gabriel's low chuckle and felt the amusement that echoed in his grace. "I'm not Cassie, kiddo, I know what boundaries are. This is just a stupid one. You're behind a curtain, I can't see you, and even if I could it's not like I'm gonna be thinking dirty thoughts anyways. You're practically my kid here. What kind of pervert do you take me for?" He paused and then quickly added "Don't answer that."
The grace inside of Spencer gave a happy little flutter at Gabriel saying he was practically his kid. He chose to ignore it, pushing that feeling down as something to analyze later.
"Besides," Gabriel said, drawing his attention again. "I wanted to talk to you before you came in and passed out, and I wanted to do it somewhere you couldn't run away."
That washed away any happy feeling and had Spencer going immediately tense. It didn't take a genius to figure out what it was that Gabriel wanted to talk about. The fact that he'd chosen to ambush Spencer in here where he 'couldn't run away' made it clear that he wasn't going to be easily deterred either. "And where's Michael?" Spencer asked, stalling for time.
"Off to go try and talk to Raffy again. He's not all that pleased with our whole 'stop the Apocalypse' plan right now." Gabriel answered. "So, no excuse there, kiddo. You gonna tell me what's up or should I try and drag it out of you?"
The idea of keeping this from Gabriel was one that Spencer hadn't been all that fond of to begin with. He understood Dean's reasoning for keeping it from Sam, at least a little, and seeing as how the two were brothers he was willing to let them handle that on their own for now. But…strange as it felt to admit it, Gabriel was Spencer's family. Even if he still felt so very strange saying that it didn't make it any less true. He was family and he was someone that, right now, Spencer found himself trusting more than anyone else. It seemed insane to admit just how important the archangel had become to him or how much he really did trust him. But he did. He trusted Gabriel with his life, his health – and his grace. Nothing the archangel had done had betrayed that trust so far. Maybe this would all come back to bite him in the ass later. Maybe Gabriel would teach him, just like most people in his life had, that trusting someone was foolish. Maybe. But here, now, he did trust him, and keeping things from him just wasn't something that he wanted to do.
He didn't want to take the time to put it all in words, though. So, Spencer decided to test a theory.
He reached out with his grace and felt Gabriel respond to it immediately. Spencer wasn't sure he had the words to describe what it felt like to touch graces this way. Small like this, just that little bit reaching out, it was kind of like a handshake, only a thousand times more intimate. Gabriel's grace wrapping around his was like being held by sunlight and joy and something that Spencer's mind wanted to label only the rest of him was too scared to do so.
Once they were connected, Spencer knew that Gabriel could read his thoughts even easier than before – and he wasn't unaware of just how often Gabriel was able to see inside his head, even if he tried not to do it constantly – so he figured it shouldn't be all that hard to deliberately send thoughts his way. As he poured a bit of shampoo into his palm and began to lather up his hair, he focused on the memory of his conversation with Dean and let it flow over the connection between them.
"Ah." Gabriel answered out loud. His grace stroked over Spencer's, like a hand running over his hair or over his back, and then drew away. "I see why Dean wasn't all too keen on sharing that."
"He'll have to talk to Sam at one point. It's a valid worry and one he should be aware of."
"Yeah. Well, where Sammy boy's concerned, Dean doesn't always think the clearest." There was a pause and then Gabriel sighed. "It'll piss him off, but if he doesn't tell Sam before we go up against Famine, I will. The kid's got a right to know. I'm half tempted to just lock him up when we do, so we can go and handle him, but…"
"But Sam's had too many people making his decisions for him." Spencer said lowly. "He's had people directing his life from day one. He deserves having all the information given to him for once and being allowed to make his own decisions based off of that information. And if you ever expect him to care about you the way you do him, you have to be able to do that for him. Respect him enough to give him that choice."
The bathroom went quiet for a moment and Spencer ducked under the water to rinse his hair out. When he finally pulled back out again, he heard a soft sound, not quite a snort, come from Gabriel's direction. "You see a lot more than people realize."
Spencer smiled a little to himself. "I study human behavior, Gabriel. Angel though you may be, there are still similarities. It wasn't hard to pick up certain things when I was reading the gospels. Or when I watch the two of you together."
"Let me pretend for a little while longer that you're sweet and innocent, kiddo. You're ruining my image here."
Chuckling, Spencer shook his head and set about washing all the dirt off his body. He reached up to wash at his face only to freeze as the muscles in his back seized up and gave a very painful protest to his movements. He had to clench his eyes shut and take a few deep breaths before the pain and the cramp slowly faded away. Once it did, he sighed and turned himself so that the water was beating down on his aching muscles.
It was a little too much to hope that Gabriel hadn't noticed that. He heard the archangel shift a little and snap up something or other. Only a few seconds passed before he was speaking again. "I'm thinking it's about time for you and I to head out for a weekend and see about finally getting those puppies free, little bird. I thought you'd have longer but they're pushing too much against you and soon I don't think you're gonna be able to move without hurting. The last thing we want is for them to try bursting out on their own."
Spencer grimaced and rubbed at the dirt on his neck. He'd known this was coming, had resigned himself to it. "Okay."
"I know you just left with the boys, but if we can convince them to wait in the next town they go to, hopefully I'll get you back to them quick enough. I'm not sure how long it'll take. But I don't want to risk waiting any longer. I'm worried enough about this as it is. Spencer…"
He trailed off and Spencer furrowed his brows, worried. This abruptly seemed like a much more important conversation than it had been moments before. With his body now clean, he shut off the water, wanting to be able to look at his guardian for this. His worry and curiosity was enough to burn away some of his nerves and self-consciousness at being in the bathroom with another person. He grabbed the towel off the rack right outside the shower and pulled it in, wrapping it firmly around himself and drying most of his body off before simply snapping and making boxers, sweat pants and a loose t-shirt from his go-bag appear on his body. Clothed, he stepped out, eyes immediately going to the being perched on the sink.
Gabriel looked at him and there was a hint of caution on his face. "C'mere, kiddo."
Worried and a bit nervous, Spencer came forward and stepped right up when Gabriel parted his knees, making room for him. The sink gave Gabriel just enough height that when he straightened up, he was taller than Spencer. He snapped his fingers and a comb appeared in his hand. One twirl of his finger let Spencer know that he wanted him to turn around.
Only when Spencer had his back to Gabriel and the comb was going through his hair did Gabriel finally speak again. "I know how uncomfortable other angels make you, but this thing with your wings … we can't have you angel out of your vessel here without risking the whole of the Host finding out about you, Lucifer included, and right now I don't think that's something any of us want."
"I'm too different." Spencer said lowly, the words bringing up an all too familiar pang inside. "They won't understand."
One of Gabriel's arms slipped around him and banded across his chest, his hand grabbing Spencer's shoulder. He gave the fledgling a small squeeze, his cheek pressing against Spencer's hair. "You're amazing." One last squeeze and then he drew back and started to comb Spencer's hair once more. "The point is, getting your wings out, it's gonna be something new here. Something I've never done before. And I don't want to put you at risk, baby bird. I want to do this as safe as possible." He paused and Spencer swore he could feel him tense. "I want Raphael to be there."
Now it was Spencer's turn to tense. His whole body went completely still and his eyes widened. Wait, what? He wanted Raphael to be there? Raphael? The same angel that, according to Gabriel, wasn't all that happy with their apocalypse ending plans?
"Raf has a problem with us stopping the apocalypse, not with you, sparrow." Gabriel said, either reading Spencer's thoughts or just understanding his silence. "You're a fledgling. To him, you're family, and that's all that's gonna matter. He'll take care of you the same as he would any of us. I trust him in that. His problems with the apocalypse, those… those are his own Daddy issues coming to life. He wouldn't let it hurt you, though." The comb was set down and this time both of Gabriel's arms came around Spencer's shoulders to hug him. Gabriel rested his cheek on his arm, his chin lightly brushing against the side of Spencer's head. "I want you safe, Spencer, and this is the best way I know to get that. Raphael's our healer. There's no one who knows healing better than him."
"You'll be there?" Spencer asked. He hated how small his voice sounded, hated the way it quavered just the slightest bit. Just the idea of another angel touching him, maybe even touching his grace, left him feeling nauseous.
Gabriel gave him a squeeze and his grace sent a wave of affection to him. "Dad Himself couldn't drag me away."
Did he have any other choice here? Spencer closed his eyes and blew out a breath. "Okay."
He was surprised to feel a kiss pressed up against the side of his head. There was a moment of quiet as the two stayed there together, one giving comfort and one taking it. Then Gabriel gave him one last squeeze. "C'mon, little bird. Let's get you to bed. In the morning we'll let the Hardy Boys know what we're up to and then we'll head out. Till then, you need some sleep."
It was on the tip of Spencer's tongue to ask him if he would stay. Sleep hadn't been easy lately, his nightmares coming a bit too frequently. But he had far too much pride and too many years of coping on his own to be able to break down enough to actually ask Gabriel to stay with him. He wasn't a child; he could handle sleeping on his own! Whining over a few bad dreams was something little kids did. Just because he'd broken down once and let Gabriel hold him after a dream didn't mean that he could start asking for him to stick around while he slept. The archangel would have much better things to do with his time.
He wasn't facing Gabriel, so he wasn't able to see the sad look that crossed the archangel's face when he heard Spencer's thoughts.
A snap of the fingers and the two appeared in Spencer's bed – a bed that was suddenly much nicer than it had been before. The sheets were softer and the mattress was as well. Spencer wasn't able to keep in his happy sigh when he snuggled down into them. He'd always had a pleasure for soft things. It felt amazing to sink down into this sinfully comfortable bed. Caught up in it, he didn't notice right away that Gabriel hadn't snapped just him into the bed. It wasn't until he felt the mattress shift a little in front of him that he snapped his eyes open and saw that Gabriel was right there, sitting propped up against the headboard with a mound of pillows behind him and a book in hand.
Gabriel smiled down at him. "You don't mind, do you?" He asked, holding up his book.
Really, it was kind of scary how little he minded. "Don't you have things to do?" He felt compelled to ask. Better things, his brain supplied unhelpfully.
"Nope. My big meeting is done, Mikey's busy talking to Raf without me around – the kid's still a bit peeved at me for running off – and my eye candy's sleeping. Besides," Dropping his hand from his book, Gabriel tucked a bit of Spencer's hair behind his ear and then tapped the tip of his nose. "I like spending time with you."
"Even though I'll be asleep?"
"Just gives me some quiet time to plot." Gabriel said easily. His wings drew out from his back where they'd been hidden and Spencer felt one reach out and curl around him, actually lifting him and drawing him in against Gabriel in a way that had him both embarrassed and amused. Gabriel grinned unrepentantly down at the fledgling who was now curled up by his hip.
Then he surprised Spencer completely. Once he was sure that Spencer was close, cradled in his wing, he lifted the book in his hand and began to read – out loud.
"The palace still shook occasionally as the earth rumbled in memory, groaned as if it would deny what had happened." Gabriel began. His voice was low, a perfect match to the easy, sleepy atmosphere. Without even a snap, the lights were doused. It would seem he didn't even need light to read because he continued to do so in the dark. "Bars of sunlight cast through rents in the walls made motes of dust glitter where they yet hung in the air. Scorch-marks marred the walls, the floors, the ceilings. Broad black smears crossed the blistered paints and gilt of once-bright murals, soot overlaying crumbling friezes of men and animals which seemed to have attempt to walk before the madness grew quiet."
In the dark of the room Gabriel's voice wove him a tale of Lews Therin Telamon and Spencer lay there for a long time simply enjoying the sounds of the story and relaxing into memories of doing this very thing with his mother many times over.
When he finally drifted off to sleep, his dreams were quiet and full of peace.
Gabriel met up with the hunters the next morning in the same diner where Sam had gotten dinner last night. Spencer wasn't with him. He'd already packed up the kid's room and flown him and his things to the island to get comfortable and wait. Then he'd flown himself here, easily able to feel his baby brother even if the Winchesters were still hidden by those sigils on their ribs. Really, he'd have to do something about that at some point. He couldn't rely on Castiel being around to be able to find them. The seraph was frequently gone on his fruitless endeavor to find Dad. Even with Gabriel on their side, even with Michael stopping his war plans, even after Gabriel had told Castiel that Dad wasn't gone, He just didn't want to be found, still the little seraph was looking for him, sure that he would find him and convince him to help. The kind of faith Castiel held was amazing, insane – and a little humbling.
For now Gabriel chose not to think about it. He hadn't snapped himself into the booth next to Sam to come discuss Dad or Castiel's attempts to find him. He had something much more pressing to deal with right now. And, if he were honest, more important. That might get him in trouble, not just with his brothers and sisters but with Dad as well, but he couldn't really bring himself to care. He dared anyone to be a parent and not put their children first. Any good parent would. And he'd Claimed Spencer in as many ways as he could. The kid was as good as his even if he didn't ever admit to it.
Snapping himself into the diner had the added bonus of making Dean and Sam jump. Castiel looked at him without any real surprise, though his wings showed a pleased greeting in their lift and twist. "Brother."
"Hey, bozos." Gabriel greeted them, easy grin in place. He'd snapped himself up a plate of pancakes when he landed, to better fit in of course, and he cut himself a piece of the syrup drenched mess and wiggled his eyebrows. "What's up! Early morning pow-wow?"
Dean chose to ignore that and instead looked pointedly around. "Where's the Doc? I thought you and him were going to join us?"
When Spencer had still been asleep earlier, Gabriel had reached out to Castiel and told him to go ahead and have everyone head off to breakfast without them, that they'd join them later. Well… "Technically, I said I'd join you guys. I never said anything about Spencer. He's off at my place right now waiting for me to get back. Or wandering the beach." Gabriel shrugged. It could be either one. "He likes doing that."
"Is he all right?" Castiel asked. There was concern in his tone and in the way his wings drew in. The poor seraph hated so much the tension that was between him and Spencer and he wanted nothing more than to fix it, he just didn't seem to know how and so he kept falling back on his search for Dad as a way to avoid the fledgling. Gabriel understood it, but he was going to have to do something to fix it soon. They all needed to figure out a way to get alone.
That was something else that was for a different day. Right now, he cut himself another bite and popped it in his mouth. "He's good. Well, good as can be. I thought we'd have longer but it's looking like his wings need to come out now. So, you guys get to go on without us for a bit and we'll catch up after a few days at Chez Gabriel."
"You're taking him away to do it?" Dean asked, setting his fork down to fix Gabriel with a hard look. "Why can't you do it here?"
It was touching in its own way to see how protective the older Winchester was becoming over Spencer. Really, it was. Except in an instance like this where it got in the way of his logic – something that happened frequently when Dean got overprotective of Sam. Something about that mood just shut off some of his common sense. Gabriel rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Boy, you really are a special one, aren't you?" The mocking curl to Gabriel's lip had the older Winchester scowling even harder. Cutting up another bite, Gabriel resigned himself to explaining a bit more. He'd already figured he was going to have to do so. "Let me give you a little angel lesson, boys. An angel's true form is made up entirely of grace. You guys know that. It's why we have to take vessels when we come here. Upstairs, we're just straight grace shaped into the form we're supposed to be. We just compact that when we pour ourselves inside a vessel."
"Disturbing imagery." Sam said, speaking up for the first time. His words were dry but his expression was the curious one he got when he was presented with potentially new information. The little geek. Gabriel smiled over that.
"Not always pleasant feeling either. Kinda cramped." Just to make Dean squirm, he wiggled his shoulders like someone trying to settle on a cheap suit. The scowl it earned him only made him grin. "Anywho! Spencer's the same as we are, only with the addition of a hint of soul inside. But he could leave his meatsuit just like the rest of us. He'd just be a bit more, physical. A bit less bright, I guess you'd say."
Surprise lit up the older Winchester's face. "That body he's wearing is a meatsuit?"
"So to speak. It's all his, though. No previous owners."
Before Dean could say whatever was on his lips, Sam cut in and brought the conversation back under control. "What does this have to do with his wings?"
Answering Sam was much more fun for Gabriel than answering Dean. He tilted himself just enough to be able to look at Sam while still being able to continue eating. Not the best manners, but, hey, what did they expect? "Okay, think of it like this. Imagine the whole inside of that body full of light. Not the guts and the bones and all that. Just, picture it full of light with no room for anything else. Now, the kid's wings have been growing this whole time, the light of his getting bigger and bigger, while the body he's inside of stays the same size."
Castiel winced and his own wings fluttered in what was probably a sympathetic gesture at the idea of being confined that tightly. "That would be extremely…restricting."
"Geeze, no wonder he's always aching." Dean murmured.
Gabriel snapped his finger and pointed at Dean, exclaiming "Exactly!" and it was amusing to watch him jump and look around as if in preparation for whatever Gabriel had snapped into existence. Gabriel let his grin grow just a bit before he continued on. "His body's running out of room. That's not a problem we have with fledglings back home cause they don't have a physical body to push through. Their wings just grow right from the start out in the open. But Spencer here, he's in that body and he can't angel out for these suckers to get free cause doing that would bring down way more angels than any of us wanna deal with. Even with Mikey on our side we're still trying to keep news of the little human fledgling under wraps for now."
He watched as they all went quiet to think about what he said. Gabriel got most of his food done before Sam spoke up again. "So what do we do?"
Sweet boy. He always wanted to find the way to help, first and foremost. Gabriel smiled at him just a bit softer than he had at the others. "Nice offer, kiddo, but you don't do anything. I do. That's why I took him back to the beach house. We're gonna have a weekend of wing birthing and Angel Anatomy 101."
"Can't we help?" Sam asked. Almost immediately after he did, his brother loudly exclaimed "Sam!" and looked at him like he was an idiot. Gabriel kind of understood it; they were in the middle of something big and important right now and they couldn't be taking an entire weekend off to do things. Still, there was a part of him that was annoyed that Dean would protest the idea of helping.
Sam seemed a bit annoyed, too. He gave Dean one of those bitch faces that said 'you're annoying and immature and I'm disappointed in you'. "What, Dean? He's our friend, all right, and you know damn well he'd be right here demanding to help if it were something with us."
Sam missed the way that Gabriel softened at his words; the soft little smile that was fond and so many other things. But Dean didn't. He glared at the Trickster, who only startled for a second when he realized he was caught out, and who quickly covered it up with a grin and a wink. Then he was turning his focus back to Sam. "It's a sweet thought, Samalam, but there's not really anything you can do. It's not gonna be a pleasant experience for the kid and I don't know that he'd really want anyone there." This time there was no covering up Gabriel's grimace. As much of a calm and sassy act as he was putting on for them here, or as confident as he was showing himself to be to Spencer, he was nervous about this. Really, really nervous. "Nephilim don't get wings; it's one of the things that marked them as different. So this is sort of new territory. And best as I can tell, either he's gonna have to force them out and hope for the best, or we're gonna have to cut them out. Either way, it's gonna be bloody and potentially blinding, at least to mortal eyes. I'm not sure how it'll go. Once I'm done with you boys, my next stop is to Raf to see if I can get him to come down and help. I think he's Spencer's best bet."
"Raphael?" Dean spat out at the same time that Castiel tensed. Sam, however, said nothing. But one of his hands dropped down between him and Gabriel and brushed lightly against Gabriel's arm.
Surprised, and then pleased, by the gesture, Gabriel moved his own hand just enough to catch Sam's pinky finger with his own. It wasn't much but the connection felt…nice. Some of Gabriel's tension eased and it was a bit easier to speak. "He's our best choice. No matter what he thinks about anything else, he won't let a fledgling hurt." He had to believe that. He had to believe that his brother wasn't so far gone as to let a child be hurt.
"He is angry." Castiel said, drawing eyes to him. He stared at Gabriel, though, and his wings stretched out a little. "Very much so. The days after you were gone found him often quiet and alone. He was angry and hurt and that has only grown stronger as time passed by."
Gabriel held in the grimace that wanted to slip free and hide it behind the smirk of the trickster. Yeah, like he really needed reminded of that. He knew how upset and angry some of their siblings had been after he'd left. He'd already had to explain himself to Michael and he'd dealt with Raphael's temper a little bit, too, as well as Castiel's stunned disbelief and the hurt that kept echoing through his grace. Over and over he'd had to deal with angels who weren't happy with him for walking away – none of them understood why he'd done it. And that was fine. Whatever. Screw them if they couldn't. But this?
Laying his fork down, Gabriel leaned forward and he knew his eyes were sparking with not just grace but power, pagan magic that was as much a part of him anymore as his grace was. If his wings had been out, they would've been displaying in threat and temper. "Let him throw his little bitch fit all he wants. But if he thinks he'll make my fledgling pay for it, he's got another thing coming. This isn't about his issues with me – it's about the kid. And he'll realize that, or I'll help him realize that." In whatever what it took. No one messed with what was his. No one.
A few hours spent wandering the beach had eased Spencer of a little of his stress. None of it took it away completely, though. He felt it simmering under his skin – skin that was beginning to feel just a little too small, too tight. It was a sensation he'd been feeling for a while now but it seemed to be getting worse since Gabriel had drawn his attention to it. Almost like now that he knew he was going to be releasing his wings sometime soon his grace was pushing for it more and more. Like it was eager to get free.
Spencer's thoughts raced with what was coming here. What would his wings look like? Would they start out small and grow bigger? Or would they be large to start off with? Castiel's were big but they were nowhere near as big as Gabriel's. Not to mention that he only had two compared to Gabriel's six. And Gabriel's were huge, but Michael's were even bigger. Was it a rank thing? The higher on the proverbial food chain, the bigger they were and the more of them there were? And what determined the color?
He had so many questions. Gabriel had tried to answer some of them in all their discussions together. He'd explained to Spencer the difference of his wings while in a vessel compared to the wings on his true form. Apparently folding their body into a vessel also worked some sort of 'mojo' to fold their wings somewhat as well. "It's hard to explain, little bird." Gabriel had told him. "They just seem to shrink down when we're in our vessels. If they were their regular size, we'd be way overbalanced."
There seemed to be a lot about angels that Spencer was coming to realize fell under the category of 'hard to explain'. He was also coming to realize that he fell under that category as well.
Spencer was just making his way back inside of the house when he felt Gabriel coming with the presence of not just one other angel, but two. The feeling had him freezing in the doorway, one hand on the doorframe and one foot still out the door. Not like he could actually run away. There was nowhere to run and nowhere he could hide from them.
Gabriel landed first, with Michael a half second behind him, and then a tall black man landed between them looking stern and serious. He had very short dark hair and a wide mouth that was set in serious lines. Behind him six wings of electric blue were settling calmly against his back. They were so startlingly different from his brothers. To Spencer, Gabriel's wings had always been powerful but they carried a hint of softness to them, of lightness and speed and warmth. Michael's wings, they looked a bit soft, yes, but there was something to them that was power, something that left you in awe. This man – and it had to be Raphael, the six wings gave that away – his wings were energy. There was nothing 'good' or 'bad' about energy, it could be harnessed either way. A threat or a promise. Pain or healing.
The feel of that much grace around him caused a little shudder to run down Spencer's grace and the muscles in his back clenched up in response so tight it was only his hand on the doorframe that kept him upright. He didn't notice as the wood groaned and dented under his fingers.
In the blink of an eye Gabriel was across the room and catching him up with one of his wings. It curled around him and Spencer tried not to sigh into it. He couldn't resist rubbing his cheek against one of the feathers that was right there, though. See? Soft.
"Woah there, sparrow." Gabriel said, using his wing to draw Spencer in towards him while his hands came up to cup his face. "You're all right. I gotcha. Looks like I got here just in time, hm? Your wings really don't seem to want to wait."
Spencer snuck a glance over at the other two and then focused back on Gabriel. "They were doing fine before."
A new voice spoke up, deeper and heavier than the others. "Your grace is reacting to ours." Raphael told him. He took a step away from Michael and made as if to move towards Spencer, only to have Spencer push himself back against Gabriel. It was the same reaction he'd had to Michael, this need to get back, to pull away from grace that he knew could do some serious damage if they wanted to. Castiel had been able to overpower him, to trick him, and he was just a seraph. What chance would he have against archangels?
"Back up, Raf." Gabriel snapped.
The other archangel stopped and froze in place. Something that looked like temper snapped in his eyes and his wings shuffled a little before they were pulled in against his back in a pose that was a lot less relaxed than before. He lifted both eyebrows. "I thought I was coming here to help, Gabriel?" His lips twitched into a small, barely there smirk. "Or, would you prefer Loki? I can't quite really tell."
There was something sharp to those words and a meaning to them that Spencer had a feeling he wasn't privy to. Whatever it was, it had Gabriel flinching ever so slightly and Michael standing up a bit straighter, wings lifting up. "Brothers." Michael said firmly, a warning easy to hear in his tone.
"Be mad at me all you want, bro." Gabriel cut in, venom dripping from his tone. His wing tightened around Spencer and his hands dropped from his face to rub over his biceps in a casually comforting gesture he probably didn't even realize he was doing. "Just keep in mind it's not me you're here for."
Raphael's lip curled up slightly. "Trust me, brother – that is the only reason I'm here. I won't let a fledgling suffer because of you. There's been plenty of that already, wouldn't you say?"
This time it was much easier to read the pain on Gabriel. Spencer could feel it; in his grace, in the twitch of his wings, in the way he straightened himself up and slipping on the mask that would get him through this, a move that Spencer had done himself plenty of times before. Gabriel was doing it now, pretending that this didn't hurt, biting his tongue – for him. And Spencer couldn't let him do it.
"No."
Spencer's voice rang out before anyone else's could. All eyes turned to him and he squared his shoulders, keeping himself up straighter than ever. They wouldn't cow him. He wouldn't stand here and shake and quiver in front of them and let them hurt Gabriel. The only weakness he allowed himself was the twist of his fingers through Gabriel's feathers. It reminded him that he had this archangel on his side and that Gabriel would support him and stand with him. Drawing on that, Spencer lifted his chin and forced on the calm that he'd learned to fake so long ago. "We don't need your help."
"Spencer," Gabriel tried to cut in, only to be silenced by a headshake from the fledgling. "No." Spencer said again. "We don't. We'll be fine without him."
He saw the surprised way that Raphael was looking at him now. "This is something new. From what I understand, even with my assistance there is a risk it is going to be painful. Without, it will be exceedingly so."
"The fact that you think that would deter me shows how little you know about me." Spencer shot back. "Almost as little as you appear to know your own brother. Or about manners."
He heard Gabriel make a choked sound beside him, though he missed the amused look that cross Michael's features. His attention was on Raphael. The youngest archangel was looking at Spencer with something that the young fledgling couldn't quite name. "You're a bold one." He said.
Spencer lifted one eyebrow in a look he hadn't even realized he'd picked up from the trickster at his side. "I've learned to be around bullies."
"You're not in the least bit scared of me, are you? You hold no fear, no awe, of who I am."
"On the contrary. I'm terrified." Spencer let out a laugh that didn't really hold any actual mirth to it. He felt Gabriel's wing push against his hand and took the comfort being offered, twisting his fingers in a little more to the soft touch. He never took his eyes from Raphael, though. "However, 'one of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.'" That was one of his favorite quotes, said by Henry Ford. "Being afraid of you doesn't mean that I'm not willing to stand up for what I believe or for what's important to me. I may be afraid of what you'll do, but I won't let it dictate my actions. I won't let it keep me from standing up for the one being who has showed me more respect and kindness than anyone ever has before. He humbled himself and went to you, knowing how you would treat him, and he stands here taking it from you solely for my benefit. What kind of person would it make me if I stood by and let you hurt him?"
The house seemed to echo with the silence that followed Spencer's words. Gabriel turned himself in towards Spencer a little more and pressed his forehead down to Spencer's shoulder. "Little bird." He reached out with his grace and Spencer willingly took the touch. He let it curl around him even more than ever before, not just a touch but an embrace, and emotion passed back and forth between the two. In that moment Spencer couldn't deny the word that he'd hidden from so far, the one he'd known but had refused to think. He felt Gabriel's love fill him and curl around him and he sent his own back in return. It was a strong love, like what he shared with his mother, only slightly different, almost more in its own way. It was on a level that Spencer would never be able to share with his mother; she didn't have the grace for it.
Their moment was cut short when Spencer's grace, caught up in the emotion that he was feeling and so eager – almost starving – for the affection that Gabriel was giving him, started to push out once more. His wings shoved against his back and a hoarse cry tore free before Spencer could stop it. This time there was no keeping his feet. The muscles clenched and spasmed and his body dropped.
He'd barely fallen before Gabriel caught him up, wings and arms. "Spencer!"
"Bring him outside." Raphael said, and his voice sounded different than before, ringing with something that Spencer thought vaguely felt like worry. He didn't have long to think on it. Another spasm had him arching and crying out.
The world around Spencer moved. He didn't care; could barely think about it beyond this painful feeling that was ripping through his back.
"What's happening?" Another voice demanded. Michael – that was Michael.
"Gabriel said he's been fighting his grace. My guess, he stopped." Raphael answered him sharply. "Without him fighting it, it's growing and pushing to get free. We need to do this, now."
Things shifted and Spencer felt himself being drawn down and cradled against a body that had become familiar. He knew it was Gabriel who was holding him. Gabriel who had twisted him until Spencer was straddling his lap like a child, a leg on either side of the trickster's hips, his arms pinned between them and his hands clenched into fists in Gabriel's jacket. One of Gabriel's hands settled against the back of Spencer's head and drew it in until the fledgling could hide his face against Gabriel's neck, while his other hand slid down Spencer's back until it was under his bottom, lifting and pulling him in even closer. It was embarrassing and Spencer would've protested at any other moment. He would've argued that he wasn't the toddler he was suddenly being treated as. But right then he didn't give a damn about any of it. It hurt, it freaking hurt, and all he wanted was closer. He whimpered and tried not to scream at the pain, pushing his face in against Gabriel's neck.
Something shifted and then Spencer felt the cool breeze blowing against his skin as his shirt was vanished away. "Dear Father." He heard a voice say behind him and he had no idea who it came from.
Hands settled onto his shoulders and they weren't Gabriel's, weren't safe, and Spencer tightened himself against the trickster and tried to yank away from that touch. Immediately Gabriel started to stroke at his hair and murmur soothingly to him. "Shh, shh, it's okay, baby bird. It's just Raf. Let him help you, kiddo. He won't hurt you, I promise. Just let him help you."
Another spasm shot through him and Spencer squeezed his eyes shut tight. "G'br'l." His attempt at Gabriel's name came out thick and garbled through his clenched teeth.
"I know, I know." There was a pained sound to Gabriel's voice. His fingers threaded into Spencer's hair and he held on tight. "You trust me, right Spencer?"
"Yes."
"Then trust me now. Hold on tight, kiddo." Over Spencer's shoulder, he raised his voice and firmly said "Do it."
What came next was more pain than Spencer had ever known .He felt a hand press flat against his back and then something sharp was sliding through his skin leaving fiery trails behind that burned straight through to the core of him. His grace recoiled from hit and momentarily relieved him of the pressure, only to swarm back up when the cutting stopped. It pushed against his back and Spencer cried out hoarsely. Over the sound of his own cries he heard a voice saying "Hold him!" and then something was reaching beyond his skin, inside him, and the pressure built higher and higher. He heard something else, too distant to reach him beyond the pounding in his ears and the sounds he was making. Then Gabriel's voice was at his ear, so close Spencer could feel his lips moving. "He needs you to help, sparrow. You've got to push them. Push, little bird. Push!"
Spencer gathered up whatever strength he could and, with every last bit of it, he pushed. The pressure grew and grew until Spencer swore he was going to split apart at the seams.
All of a sudden he felt as something shoved its way out of his back and into the wide open air of the beach. Multiple 'something', shoving out and lifting high.
The pain was still there but it was a distant thing. The release of the pressure was so great Spencer slumped down against Gabriel's body. He didn't care about the little bit of pain that was still there. Little by little that was fading away with the trace of fingers over the broken skin of his back. Exhaustion like he'd never known pushed at him now and he couldn't even bring himself to lift his head from Gabriel's shoulder. He could sort of feel something different about himself, something that hadn't been there before, but it was distant. Kind of removed from him in a way. He was too tired to care about it. Too tired to even open his eyes.
"Oh, little bird." Gabriel's voice was still near his ear. He felt the trickster turn and press a kiss against his hair. "They're beautiful, Spencer. You're beautiful."
Some sound that utterly failed at being a word slipped past Spencer's lips.
He felt Gabriel chuckle and then the arms around him tightened. "Go to sleep, kiddo. This took a lot out of you. Just go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."
That sounded like a good idea. Spencer didn't even bother trying to move. Between one breath and the next, he was asleep, his body passing out in sheer exhaustion.