By the time Clint returned from the bathroom, damp-haired and wearing pyjamas, Natalia had, for the most part, managed to pull herself together. Sort of.
"I'm gonna go to bed now, okay?" She glanced up at the blonde archer, watching him walk over to the sofa.
"You're not afraid I'll slit your throat while you sleep?" What? She was curious, she wouldn't have wanted to sleep in a room with someone like her. Clint just shrugged.
"Should I be?" It was slightly weird, how little she had to think about her answer.
"No." He threw her a cheeky smile.
"You sure?" Natalia rolled her eyes as he pulled his duvet over himself.
"Quite sure, Barton."
"Good to know. Goodnight, Natasha." She nodded, but didn't return the pleasantry.
Sliding under the duvet and settling her head on the pillow, Natalia hated how she could immediately match the way the fabric under her cheek smelt to the way he did. It was useless to try not to associate herself with him (he'd save her life twice, for crying out loud), but it was how she'd been trained.
Sighing, Natalia raised her right hand and placed it above her head, hating that she found it so hard to fall asleep in any position other than the one she'd spent every night in the the Red Room in. Handcuffed to the headboard.
Strange, the things a person can get used to.
She should have been used to the nightmares. To the memories that trapped her mind and held her tight, binding her securely to her past. Natalia wished she could train herself to block them out, the way she could while awake, but she still woke up, less than two hours after finally drifting off, sitting bolt upright and breathing heavily, trying not to cry out. She didn't want him to wake up, but obviously wasn't as heavy a sleeper as she'd hoped.
"Natasha? Are you okay over there?" The voice from the sofa sounded concerned, but her own didn't seem to be working.
"Sorry," He continued, "Stupid question." He was closer now. Natalia heard the soft 'click' of a switch and the small room was bathed in weak light. She hugged her knees to her chest. He began to speak again.
"Did...um... did you have a nightmare?" Natalia turned away and stared at the off-white of the wall, wishing he didn't sound so much like he genuinely cared. She didn't want him to care about her. She didn't want anybody to care about her.
"I'll...I'll just go, then, okay?" Yes. Go back to sleep and please forget this ever happened.
She heard him pad back to the sofa, heard the light switch again, the room draped back in darkness.
It look a long time for her to close her eyes again but, when she did, she fell asleep to the sound of his soft breathing.
-
"So, we gotta work on your attitude." Clint said, pointing his cereal spoon at Natalia. Neither of them had mentioned the events of the previous night.
"There's nothing wrong with my attitude." He laughed. She congratulated herself on not punching him. It took serious restraint.
"Sure, but I wouldn't want to give you a job in my secret agency. I'd want to run the fuck away."
"So why didn't you?" Clint gave her a look.
"Don't change the subject, Tasha." Natalia sighed, letting the nickname slide.
"Fine, what's wrong with my attitude?" Clint grinned and started to check points off on his fingers.
"Well, there's the eye-rolling, the glaring, the threats, the sarcasm..." She cut him off with a deadly glare, before realising that she was only proving him right and making him laugh again.
"You see?" Clint continued, taking both of their bowls to the sink and starting to wash up. "You're kind of intimidating, Red." Natalia managed to stop herself from rolling her eyes, just to show him she could.
"I'm supposed to be intimidating, it's part of the job description. You're meant to put the fear of god into someone, not offer them tea. Scaring people is sort of the point, Barton."
"Is that supposed to be a dig at me?" She smirked.
"Yes. You're too goddamn nice, Clint."
"And I'm the SHEILD agent in the room. Clearly, being nice got me somewhere."
Fine. He had a point. Look, she admitted it!
"So I should just pretend to be a completely different person and I'll be fine?" Clint shrugged.
"I was trying to put it less bluntly but, sure. That might do it."
She wished his stupid handler would activate the communications system Barton had been fiddling with all morning already. She was ready to leave San Paulo, ready to pretend leaving would stop her from seeing the flames consuming the hospital every time she closed her eyes.
Clint was writing up his mission report, hunched over a laptop with the SHEILD eagle symbol on the cover (which was kind of dumb because, if anybody tried to kidnap Barton, they'd know who he worked for by looking in his bag. The notion that she might have signed on to the most egotistical government agency in the world had crossed her mind.) Natalia doubted that he was having a party over there, but at least he had something to do. He wouldn't let her help him with the bloody thing, something to do with 'level seven or above protocol' or some other bullshit.
To put it shortly, Natalia was bored. Then Barton's comms unit started squawking from it's place next to him on the table. Clint grinned and reached for the devise.
"Do you want me to put it on speaker?" Natalia shrugged, but he did it anyway.
"Come in, Hawkeye." The voice crackled over the line. Natalia turned to Clint.
"Hawkeye? Seriously?" Clint smiled and pressed a finger to his lips. The voice took on an impatient
tone.
"Clint, answer me." Thank god. She wasn't the only one to find him infuriating, and this poor soul had probably been dealing with Clint for a whole lot longer.
"Hey, Coulson! Reading you loud and clear." Natalia could hear the sigh over the line.
"Good. Was the mission successful? Are you ready for pick up?"
Clint turned to Natalia. She raised her eyebrows at him.
"Yeah, about that, Coulson..."
"Clint..."
"So, maybe I didn't do exactly what it said in the dossier, but I found a new agent and she's promised to be good!" Natalia glared at him.
"I said nothing of the kind."
Coulson groaned.
"Don't go anywhere. I'm coming over with the pick up team, then we'll sort out your shit."