CHAPTER EIGHT

A few days pass.

Rock goes on vacation (a cruise, I think) and promises to be back a couple of days before the marathon. When Melissa hears about that, she laughs. "Five bucks he meets a girl, falls in love and comes back with her number, but never calls her."

I grin. "Ten bucks there are two girls and it all ends tragically."

Tanya still seems a little upset at me for letting her get creamed by Jared and, for the most part, ignores me...snorting and facing the other way whenever I enter a room.

I go to the gym a couple of times and drive around the marathon course with Amelia. I've seen it before, even run some of it, but for some reason, it seems bigger now. Longer, more intimidating...I swallow nervously.

Amelia notices. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I run a hand through my hair. "Just...twenty six miles." I let out a low whistle.

"Twenty six miles and three hundred yards." She corrects with a little smile.

I roll my eyes. "Oh wow, thanks. I feel a lot better now."

I don't say much after that. I know I'm prepared and everything, but...I don't know...I want to do better than finish. It is my first marathon and it's unreasonable for me to think I'll win, whatever I tell myself. I just don't want to be beaten by Jared again. I'd settle for fiftieth place as long as he comes in fifty-first.

It takes us a while to get home. Joto is the next county over, about a half hour away, and the trip back gives me more than enough time to look out the window and think.

"You know," I break the silence. "I think I want another Nonextant."

"Mm?" Amelia lifts an eyebrow, but I can tell she's not really paying attention. "Why?"

"Well...there are different kinds of them with different, like, skills and stuff, and since mine are both fire, they can get hurt by ones who are water. So if I got one that hurt water instead, it could...be more balanced, kinda."

She glances at me this time, more interested. "I thought you don't like them fighting."

I squirm. "...No...but at least it's better when I'm there. That way I don't push them too hard and they don't get hurt."

She faces the road again. "Well, Tanya sure seems mad at you for something."

I feel embarrassed. I didn't think she had noticed. "That's because...there was a water Nonextant. That's why I want a different one so - "

"Where was there a water Nonextant?" Her voice is becoming harder.

"I...battled a friend. For fun." I lie. Kind of.

She lets it go, to my relief. "I would talk to Wood about it. A different one might be nice...at least it wouldn't leave singe prints on the rug."

I smile to myself and turn back to the window.

(-o-)

When we get home, I go for a jog before going in. It's only a short one, but it's so hot, I'm exhausted by the time I get back. It didn't calm my nerves either, which is disappointing. Usually running focuses the energy that would otherwise be spent worrying, but this time, my stomach was in knots the whole time. Damn, I'm nervous for this race.

I can hear raised voices as I come up the steps and I pause outside the door to listen.

"...why can't you just take this all more seriously?" That's Amelia.

"I am taking it seriously!" Woods voice cracks a little. "What, I can't make a fucking joke? Okay, fine! I won't make jokes anymore!"

Amelia sighs angrily. "You know what, let's not do this now. Dash is going to be back soon and - "

"And what? He's a big boy, we don't have to keep hiding from him. I'm sick of tiptoeing around him like he's a little kid."

"He's your nephew!"

"Yeah! Thanks!" He snaps. "I had no idea how to raise a fucking kid until you got here. Thanks for the insight."

Yikes. He's cursing a lot. Something must have pushed him over the edge, he's a pretty patient guy. But if there's one thing I don't want them fighting about, it's me. I'm don't want an argument to be my fault. I turn the knob and walk in, trying to make it seem like I just got here by panting and wiping sweat from my head.

They stop talking when they see me enter and both shoot me looks. Amelia's is general annoyance mingled with sympathy, apologizing to me for shouting and angry that Wood made her shout. Wood's is more direct, daring me to defy anything he said about me being able to handle it.

Even after a second, the tension is too much and I make up an excuse, trying to escape to my room.

"No," Wood stands up, blocking my way, but looking at Amelia. "You don't have to leave just because someone thinks you're not mature enough."

"Wood, don't drag me into this..." I mutter under my breath.

Amelia's nostrils flare. "That's not what I said and you know it. I just thought it would be nice if you didn't act like an asshole around your nephew."

"Oh," A cold little smile plays across Wood's lips. "So now I'm an asshole."

"Wood, it's okay, I don't mind, I really do have things to do…" I try to plead with him.

He doesn't even listen to me. "So being honest makes me an asshole?"

Amelia narrows her eyes. "No, acting like an asshole makes you an asshole. Being stupid in public. Not taking anything seriously."

Wood's smile evaporates and he slams a fist against the wall, making us wince. "I AM taking this seriously!" He shouts. "Just because you can't take a fucking joke, this is all my fault."

She stands up too. "Well, maybe your fucking jokes aren't fucking funny!"

"And that makes me an asshole?!"

"Yes!"

Wood smiles again, faking calm and speaking in a much quieter voice. "Okay, fine. I just won't make any jokes from now on. I won't act happy in public, I won't have fun with you, we'll just have nice, serious discussions. Is that better?"

"You know what I mean!" Tears are streaming down her cheeks, but she's still yelling. "Don't act like that."

"Like what?" He's still using the quiet, pseudo-calm voice. "I'm just trying to be serious."

She throws up her hands. "You're not even taking this seriously! You're acting like an idiot!"

He stops smiling. "Well, what the hell do you want me to do?!"

"Stop acting like this!"

"Like what?"

"That!" She gestures at him. "Jesus, act your age!"

His face has gone completely red and veins are popping out on his neck. "Why the hell should I?!"

She closes her eyes and screams "BECAUSE I'M FUCKING PREGNANT, YOU ASS!"

For a second, he looks shocked, completely taken aback. Then his face clouds over and becomes angry again. "Well, gee, thanks for telling me before!"

"Don't you think I've been trying to?!" Her sentence ends in a high-pitched shriek.

I take a step back. Then another. Then I turn and do the only thing I know how to do.

I run.

(-o-)

I don't cry.

Maybe because I don't want people on the street to see me sobbing or maybe because I'm not upset enough. But my throat is all closed up and my chest is tight and it's really hard to breathe, especially as I'm running. Somehow, my feet lead me to the park and I flop down under a tree, struggling to take in ragged breaths.

Why did I run? I drag a hand through my hair. It was a stupid thing to do, like a little kid running away from home and it probably only made their argument worse - I could practically hear them blaming each other for scaring me away.

Still...I couldn't stay there.

After a couple of minutes I get up and walk around, trying to breathe more normally. I don't want to run into any wild animals and I don't really want to stay here anyway, so I jog all the way down to the lake. It's closed now, but I skip a few rocks and watch the ladybugs buzz around, seeming to almost light up in the dying sunset.

"I don't want them to break up." I say out loud. Again, I feel like a little kid for saying it and glance around, making sure no one heard me.

I really don't though. Want them to break up, that is. Amelia's been really nice to me and she and Wood really love each other. And Wood...well, he's been on dates before, when I was too young to understand what was really going on, but none of them ever stayed. Amelia was the first real relationship I ever remember him being in.

...It's also the happiest I ever remember him being.

And if they break up...well, what will happen to him? He'd probably break down. And now there's a baby in the picture…

I curse under my breath and kick some sand.

I stay there until the sun sets, a couple of hours maybe, throwing rocks and breaking twigs and trying to get rid of the little buzz of nerves in my chest. I think a lot too, about Wood and Amelia, about Tanya, about me and Melissa, trying to sort out every confusing thing in my mind at once. It's really pretty out here and after a while, I can feel the pressure on my chest slowly dissolve.

I head back at a walk, speeding up towards the end as it starts to get darker. I take a deep breath when I get to my building and the buzzing in my chest starts again as I go up the stairs. What if they're still at it? What if they're mad at me now? What if…

What if she left?

When I open the door, it's dark inside. Wood's alone on the couch, but I can see Amelia's sweater on the kitchen counter, so at least she's not gone for good.

I close the door quietly and move towards my room. Wood looks like he's asleep, so maybe I can just sneak off without being -

"Dan?"

- noticed.

I sigh and turn around. "Yeah?"

"Why am I such an idiot?"

The words are slurred and the air smells stale and I catch on. I reach to turn on a lamp behind him.

In the dim light, I can see the cans scattered around him, his messed up hair, his disheveled clothes. He squints and brings his hand up to shield his eyes from the light. I didn't know I was gone long enough for him to get drunk, but apparently I was. It's nothing new to me...as a little kid, I just thought he was sick and the beer was medicine. I'd usually put a blanket on him and he'd fall asleep pretty much right away. He hasn't done it recently though...this is the first time in like five years.

"You okay?" I try to make eye contact, but he keeps looking down.

"Why am I such a friggin' moron…" He puts a hand over his face.

I start to pick up the cans, noticing a couple are almost completely flattened. I hope they're the only thing he took his anger out on. "Where's Amelia?"

He waves a hand clumsily. "She wen' out. I dunno."

I dump the cans in the trash. No sense recycling ones with knuckle indentations. "Is she okay?"

"No..."

My blood runs cold for a second. "You didn't hit her, did you?"

He looks up, eyes wide. "What? No! I wouldn'!"

My heart starts beating again. "I know. Sorry."

He puts his head in his hands again. "But I jus' kept screamin' at her…" He lets out a muffled sob.

I shift uneasily from one foot to the other, feeling uncomfortable as I hear him cry - not little sobs either, loud, drunken, snot-filled moans. After a couple of minutes, I get a tissue box and offer it to him, hoping he's sober enough to wipe his nose himself.

He doesn't take it, but looks at me with red-rimmed eyes. "What kind of father would I be?" The words come out in a hoarse whisper.

"You raised me," I sit down next to him, putting the tissue box on his lap. "I turned out pretty good."

He half-smiles. "You raised yourself. I didn' do anything."

This is kind of true, but I don't say anything, concentrating on not making a disgusted face. His breath smells terrible.

He stares into space. "She didn' tell me. 's not fair." He sniffs loudly and wipes his nose on his sleeve, completely ignoring the tissues. "And now she's gone and 's all my fault…" His voice cracks and his lips tremble.

"She's not gone," I break in hurriedly, hoping he won't burst into tears again. "She's coming back, you know that."

"An' wha's she gonna find? Me completely shitfaced," He tries to smooth down his hair, but only makes it worse. "She's gonna leave me an' she's so right…"

"She's not going to leave you," I use my firm voice and hoist him into a standing position. "She has to come back at some point. And when she does, what are you going to do?"

He stumbles a couple of steps before regaining his balance and looking at me. "Tell her I'm sorry. That I'm gonna change," He breaks into a silly grin. "That we're not namin' the baby after me."

I smile a little, mostly to humor him. "Good. Woodrow is a terrible name for anybody."

He makes a face at me.

I fold my arms. "Now go brush your teeth and take a shower so you don't smell like booze and try to sleep this thing off. I'll wait up for Amelia and talk to her."

"Mmkay, Sam."

He wanders off towards the bathroom and I start cleaning up the couch, trying to conceal my shock.

He called me by my father's name.