You were supposed to be a hero.

You were going to break the barrier and save everyone. You certainly had the strength; so much that it bordered on godhood. Although your body had perished, the essence of your being – your soul – had lived on. Entrusted with your brother, your human soul and his monster form had combined into unfathomable power.

Wasn't that what defined god? Something that formed reality according to its will, something that even death had no power over?

There was only one thing that held you back. You had to share this power equally with your brother.

He was too scared to become something greater than mortal.

So why... how was that after coming this far, he refused to take the next step? All you needed was six human souls. Just six! The humans had even attacked you first. Humans were stupid creatures, always quick to jump to the worst possible conclusion. They were the ones who had attacked first. You needed their deaths to save all the monsters.

Asriel struggled, his body covered in blood. Your physical form was already a corpse, gripped tightly in his hands. Still, he refused to let you go, because he had some silly notion that you needed a proper burial. He also refused to lift his hands against the rampaging humans. He was going to die at this rate. And if he died, the soul that was you within him would inevitably die too.

FIGHT. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT-

Your whole life, you had wanted to die a hero.

You could die and save so many people.

It was supposed to ensure that the rest of your life had ever held a purpose.

You were already dead. So to be denied this one act... to have your sacrifice thrown away at the last possible moment, when you could no longer go back...

Don't do this, you begged within his mind.

If youcouldn't be a hero, no one deserves that chance. If you couldn't get the death you desired, why should anyone else?

They should all just DIE, worthless, meaningless deaths!

You were used to betrayal. But you'd thought that Asriel had meant something to you. You thought you'd meant something to him. You were siblings and best friends. But now he was just in the way; he was the reason you couldn't be a hero...

You're USELESS. You're getting in the way of everything we planned!

"I'm sorry," he said, tears streaming down his face. "Please don't hate me forever for this."

I'll hate you forever!

He gasped. A hole had appeared in his chest. Blood dripped everywhere. He staggered back to the barrier, barely managing to make it to the golden flower bed, before collapsing...

It's YOUR FAULT that it's ending this way!
Don't die here! I shouldn't die for your mistakes!
I'll hate you forever!

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I'm... sorry..."

"I'm... s...o...r..."

Garbled air escapes his mouth. My fist has wrapped around his stem, squeezing as hard as humanly possible. Can plants breath? His eyes bulge with strangled noises still escaping his mouth. That's fine, it doesn't matter if he can breathe or not, I'll rip his head off instead.

"Ch...ah..." He tries to form the sounds into a word, but pressure builds until it cracks, the glass casing in my other hand breaking in half.

The door opens so suddenly that it bangs against the other side of the wall. Hands roughly grab my shoulders, and I'm pulled back in more ways than one. The physical force nearly sends me to the floor; would have if I hadn't hit the wall instead. My breath hitches and my mind snaps from a trance born of the past; you take it as a sign of weakness and throw me back behind the looking-glass of your body.

Sans has an amazing talent of looking really pissed off even while smiling. You're pinned down by his strong hands that definitely won't let you go, no matter what, even though you haven't tried to struggle. Look how brave he is when you're not holding a knife.

Alphys has taken point by the flower, who's half choking and half sobbing. "Th-there, there..." She hesitantly pets his the petals on his head, but is clearly at a loss on what to do. Her claws are shaking and she's biting her lip.

"whoa. where do we even start with the questions," he half glares between you and Asriel.

"H-how about... are you okay?" Alphys smiles faintly at the flower.

Asriel sniffles and manages to stem some of the tears. He bobs his head weakly. "I can't... feel my legs... or arms..."

A few seconds tick by.

"alphs. why is the flower talking? i thought you said there wasn't any soul involved in this."

"U-um, I-I, u-um..." She's lost any sort of coherency.

"you're a flower, buddy. flowers don't have legs or arms," he says, and the flower's eyes go wide again. "and that's kind of, heh, a weird thing for a flower to ask, ya know? especially for first words. so, does that mean you weren't always a flower?"

Dammit, the more they learn about Asriel, the more likely they are to learn about me. He's going to ruin everything. They can't find out that I'm still here!

If only I could wrap my fingers around his neck one more time, if I had just finished the job in the first place-!

Your body lurches, momentarily blinded by my desire. Sans slams you back into the wall so hard that you hit your head, stars momentarily blossoming in your vision. You flinch and would recoil, if you had anywhere left to go.

"ok. what's going on?!" Sans is a decibel away from a scream.

Asriel hiccups, tears starting to form in his eyes again. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Sans's screaming has probably only heightened his fear.

Sans watches for a moment, before turning his glare at you. "look, if this kid is bothering you, we won't let it happen again. you're safe. don't worry about them, ok?"

"Bothering me?" Asriel's voice is freakishly high-pitched. "No way. We're friends. R-right? We're great friends!" He's not even speaking to them; he's looking at you for confirmation.

Please don't hate me forever, were his last words.

You try to smile encouragingly and nod vigorously. You're such a sucker. He doesn't deserve to feel mercy even for a second. Asriel smiles back nervously. Sans's grip remains tight on you; his glare even harsher. Yeah, there's no way he took that as sincere.

"ok, well, so are you gonna tell us-"

"Sans, s-stop," Alphys interrupts. "We don't need to treat this like an interrogation. Look, can't you see he's scared?"

Sans's smile remains grim. But he's back to staring at you. "I get the feeling you're hiding something from us," he says, his eye sockets completely black. "If it was just from fear? I might get it. But you wouldn't be willing to strangle a flower to hide the truth if you were really such a blank slate, would you. The doc's already reviewing footage since you woke up. If you haven't made a mistake yet, you will, someday."

He doesn't trust you. He doesn't trust you because of me. All that time you spent sobbing into his shoulder? He must really think you're some kind of manipulative fiend.

"Sans," Alphys bristles.

"heh." He backs down, but only by closing his eyes so he's no longer trying to stare into my soul. "ok, you're right. it's enough for today. i'll take this one back, and you take care of the flower. we'll figure out everything soon."

He grabs your hand so tightly it feels like he's cutting off your circulation. He doesn't drag you but it's dangerously close to that, and you stumble the first time before you catch your feet and manage to keep step. You look back one last time before you get to the door, and you can see Asriel staring after you. Then the door shuts.

You lay in your room, hands folded neatly on your chest. From here, you can still see the unblinking lens of the camera. It's staring at you, so you stare back. They've left you here for a long time. Definitely been a few hours.

They're finally reviewing the footage, huh. That stupid test you agreed to do with Gaster must have made them suspicious of us. They already think you're different, that you can feel but you're not feeling the 'right things.' What happens when you fall into a category they consider dangerous? What would they do then?

It's great, isn't it? They made you. If they even start to doubt you, they'll probably just kill you off, quietly. They'll shut you down like a malfunctioning machine.

If they think that you're me, they're really going to hate you.

"Chara?"

You hear a familiar voice, slightly muffled. Sounds like it's coming from behind the door. You sit up.

There's a click. A pause. And then the door slowly creaks open. Asriel pops up from the ground, as if he's some kind of mole. Maybe he is. Is that how sentient plants move? Well, they have no legs, so...

He smiles. Still looks nervous. "H-howdy. It, it took me a while to figure out how to move. But I think I got it now. Easier than I thought. U-um... so. No hard feelings about earlier, right? Did you mean what you said? About us still being friends."

You smile gently again. And nod. God, you're going to make me sick.

"Y-yeah!" He giggles nervously. "It's a little scary, being a flower. But, um, you don't have your body either, and you're already... well, you're really strong, still..."

He still just doesn't know when to shut up.

"Hey, let's find a way out of this creepy basement, okay? I don't like it much here."

You think for a moment. You don't like the most recent turn of events. Even if you try to hold onto what normalcy you've found here... everything is unraveling. You don't like Gaster. You don't trust Alphys. You aren't trusted by Sans. Like an idiot, you want things to go back to how they were in the break room, when they just spent time with you.

You shake your head.

"Huh? Why not?" Asriel frowns at your refusal. "You... have some kind of other plan?"

You nod. You're going to go back. You think that this is all my fault; that none of it would have happened if Sans hadn't seen you strangle the flower. So. You think that if you can prove that you feel more than just sadness and anger, they won't hate you as much.

You're so naïve. They're going to kill you soon unless you escape.

You'll meet this reality no matter how many times you reset.

Notes: This poor chapter's been through hell and back. The beginning was rewritten multiple times. The ending got altered as I rolled around a few days deciding on specific plot things in the future. Special thanks to Nym for beta-ing for me.

On another note, I made a geno/no mercy community on the site a while back, but I haven't had the time to fill it out with stories as much as I wanted. If you've read/been reading/ writing something that would fit into that category, maybe PM me the title or author and I'll add it to the list? It would be really helpful even if it's only like one story (heart).