[AN: There is the longest chapter thus far, I hope you all enjoy it. There is still a bit more to come in our story of our favorite black haired potions genius. Reviews would be very much appreciated, especially if you notice any weird punctuation marks, example : "she' ll " for some reason when I uploaded this it put like five spaces between any apostrophe's and the next two letters. Also for the elipsis' (plurals?) " ..." 's I mean, they turned out like for some weird technical reason. I've done my best to edit these out. But yes, Enjoy the tale!
Chapter IX: Our Secret World
The ominous building awaited them at the end of the winding lane. The wind whistled in greeting as Severus and Amaline approached. Nearly rotten fence posts stood as overworked guards, stationed before the ghastly building.
Portions of the building, shingles especially, seemed to have attempted to break away from the Shrieking Shack, as they were barely attatched to the building now. Wooden boards that were strapped across the windows, attempted to hold ghosts and creatures within the house. A crumbling chimney stood bravely, daring to be struck by lightning.
Severus opened the gate and he walked through with Amaline. They came to a stop as they reached the door step of the decrepit building. Severus knew, from experience, that you could get in by one of two ways ; the tunnel under the willow, or apparition.
"Amaline" he whispered to her, focusing on her wide hazel eyes to search his face. "We shall apparate in. Hold on to me tightly." He felt her wrap herself around him, eager for closeness. He set his mind to the inside of the house and felt himself compressing into nothingness.
He knew it had worked before he opened his eyes: for the musty smell had filled is nose. They stood in the hallway, just past the front door. Amaline looked around and Severus felt excitement rush in at him. The floor bore track marks in a thick layer of dust...'signs of the werewolf' Severus thought.
Severus drew his wand and with a flick, uttered "Homenum Revelio." After watching carefully for signs of life he lowered his wand.
Amalines' voice broke the silence. "We're alone, then?" Severus nodded solemnly but said nothing. He grabbed her hand and together they walkd through the dismal place. They passed several rooms, fairly large, but Severus led Amaline down to the cool basement.
Severus nodded as they entered the big room. "This will work, beautifully." He raised his wand and said "Locomotor furniture!" and quickly the chairs and tables fled to the walls, leaving a large space open on the main floor. Severus set about the room, inspecting every bit of space.
"Amaline, could you help me clean up the floor, before our ...guests arrive?"
She nodded and started using "Tergeo" all about the dusty floor. While she was distracted Severus raised his Ash wand and looked at her, with a hint of a tear in his eye. "Goodbye, Amaline Higgs, thank you. Please, escape this madness and live a full, happy life." He whispered and she turned, clearly about to inquire as to what Severus meant.
She looked confused as Severus leveled his wand at her face and spoke loudly, "Imperio!" He felt the familiar sensation of warmth and control as her face became blank. Severus felt grim satisfaction grip him, he held the wand close to Amaline now.
"Amaline Higgs, you shall listen to me now." She nodded vacantly. "You are falling in love with Sirius Black, of the Gryffindor House. You love his laugh and his good nature. He feels the same towards you. You feel no love when thinking of me. You and I dated, but I could not give you the happiness you deserve." She nodded now and her mouth was slack. "Your parents filled your head with Pure-Blood propaganda. You will examine what you KNOW to be true and reshape your life based off your findings. You will try to find more worthy friends, than Slytherins, after you examine your life. When I signal you to do so, stun James Potter and go to Sirius Black, your crush. Once the duel is over today, you mustn't let Potter become revived until Sirius starts to shake his head several times. Then, you will modify your mind, along with James Potters' and Sirius Blacks' . You and Black spent the day at Madame Puddifoots tea shop. He consoled you and asked you out there. Potter went to the Hogs Head and got into a fight, and he will go back to Hogwarts to recover. This is what you must do today."
She nodded and Severus breathed heavily now that the curse was in effect. 'Let's hope Lucius was right about this...' He thought before scolding himself. 'Lucius has never led me wrong, relax!'
Severus simply waited now, waited until Potter and Black arrived. Amaline's face was normal looking now, though the curse still had a hold of her.
Severus felt his muscles tighten up as he heard movement in the house, that came from neither he, nor Amaline. Severus walked to the center of the room and motioned for Amaline to join him. Severus once again felt the bottle resting safely in his pocket. He made no effort to signal Potter- they would be discovered in the basement soon enough, after all, there were footprints.
Severus and Amaline didn't have to wait long before James and Sirius came down the stairs, wands already drawn. James was looking smug as he came into the basement. Sirius was looking around in a bored way. "You actually showed Snivvelus!" James exclaimed after he came to a stop before Amaline and Severus.
"James." Severus spoke politely. "We face each other as adults. Let us not think, or act, as children." Severus spoke clearly, rising to his full height.
Sirius whispered to James as he folded his arms defiantly. "Talkin' like a big boy, eh Prongs? Isn't he?" James did not smile, but instead, shook his head.
"He makes a fair request, Padfoot. Let us honour it, after all, we all know whom shall be victorious today."
Severus was almost as visibly shocked as Sirius was. 'Where was the pompous Potter?' Severus wondered.
Sirius, not looking abashed in the slightest, cleared his throat and clapped his hands together eagerly. "Alright then, the pleasantries should be observed. I take it we're all ready?" Sirius declared as he stared at Amaline, who stared intently at him.
Severus and James nodded, as was expected, and stood in line and faced each other. Sirius was to James' right, and Amaline to Severus'.
Severus' mouth was a bit dry as he stealthily uncorked the Metamoura in his pocket. Severus raised his wand to his face and James mirrored him. Severus sent a thought to Amaline's controlled mind- 'When I jump back, stun Potter!'
James arced his wand away from his face and it fell to his side. Sirius looked ready to leap as he drew back his own wand. 'Finally alive, it seems.' As Black waited eagerly.
Severus, James and Sirius moved to attack formations, and then the world blazed with danger. James, for all his haughty talk, was not as prepared as he claimed, Severus thought happily. That or he hadn't expected a direct attack from Amaline. James sent an orange spell, which Severus easily deflected with a quickly shouted "Protego!" Severus spun into darkness and apparated behind Black.
"Stupefy!" Amaline shouted harshly, causing James to fall helplessly backwards, as the spell hit him in his chest. Severus saw Black turn to attack Amaline, but Severus moved too quickly for him.
Time seemed to slow down as Severus pulled Metamoura from his robes and then Severus heard himself say "Incarcerous!" and watched happily as black robes wrapped all around Black, like a giant snake. Black shouted and cursed at Severus, who merely scowled and screamed "Langlock!" Black spoke no more.
Severus placed a well aimed kick to Blacks' calves and watched as he fell to the ground. Severus went to Potter to make sure he was totally out , pausing to take James' wand as well, before returning to Black. Black had rolled over now and stared up at Severus, eyes full of hatred.
"Oh quit Black. You and I both knew who would win this. You and Potter underestimated Amaline, convinced I would carry her. All due to your overconfidence! And now you've fallen faster than rain." Severus used his feet to knock away Sirius' wand. "You will thank me, Black. Today I give you a gift unworthy of you." Severus took the Metamoura and magicked Blacks' mouth open. His eyes were full of fear now, Severus smiled appreciatively.
"Not fun, eh Black. Being scared?" The gold liquid poured from the vial and Sirius unwillingly swallowed every drop. Severus watched sadly, as Sirius' eyes found Amaline. "Amaline." Severus spoke. "Go to him."
As Amaline rushed to Black, Severus came to stand above James. Severus spoke "Mobilicorpus" and made Potter to stand before him. "Reenervate!"
Potter's eyes opened slowly and he spat at Severus, coming back to consciousness. Severus disregarded this and held up a hand to stop Potter from speaking.
"You and I now, James. Now, we duel." Severus spoke.
"Thought this was supposed to be a fair duel?" James spoke curiously, as he watched Amaline and Sirius.
"What isn't fair? One on one..." Severus said. "And you may also have your wand." He handed James his wand. James looked troubled and sighed as he retrieved his wand from the hands of Severus.
"And them?" James motioned to the seconds.
"It is us now, Potter. I duel you for love." Severus said, circling Potter, eyes now full of fire.
"That's sweet Severus, but my heart belongs to another." James said, laughing at his own humour, and circling Snape, just as Snape circled him.
"I speak and fight for the love that was severed because of your endless taunts!" Severus was sweating now, a dark shadow came across his face, and he bared his teeth – waiting for the chance to strike out.
"Lily?" He laughed derisively and pointed his finger at his opponent. "She finally found a good man and you want to ruin it? I wont have it!"
"A good man!?" Severus spat as he turned a nearby chair to dust, his anger was so strong now that his magic flowed out of him without intention. "Tell me! Would a good man force another man to become a monster?! Do you even realize what I've become since that day at the lake?"
James smirked and Severus felt a fresh wave of fury wrap itself around him.
"Well one thing you haven't become is better looking. I can still remember your awful underpants Snivelpuss! They were so perfect for you, second hand, I daresay! But to hear such dirty words from you, that was inexcusable!"
Severus paled and his curtains of hair fell over his face. "You made me do that POTTER!" Severus screamed, almost hysterical now.
James actually faltered in his pacing and looked at Severus with a frown on his face. "Explain yourself, Snivvly!"
"NO!" Severus flicked his wand and sent a jet of red sparks at Potter, which James deflected with a shielding charm. "You explain, yourself! You basically imperiused me that day! You made me lash out, the hatred that came from you! You made me call Lily a mudblood! It was you! Admit it!" Severus breathed heavily now, feeling the need to hurt James- to procure truth.
"Are you barking?" James shouted, clearly disturbed.
"Depends Potter! Are you a tree? If so I might just hike my like and take a piss up your stump! You obviously see me as nothing more than a dog anyway!"
"You are on something!" James voice shook as he spoke now, continuing to circle Severus.
"Explain yourself! Damn you!" Severus howled, casting "Tarantallalegra" towards James, who stumbled slightly.
"You really do think I'm capable of making a spell to force out hatred? You mistake me with yourself Snape! You're the little spell maker!" James sputtered as he heaved a red jet of light towards Severus.
"You were capable of stealing Lilys' affection! You ruin her! Filling her head with ideas! Well I put a stop to that, didn't I?!" He raged and deflected an oncoming disarming spell.
"You are outside of your mind! I never did anything like that to her!"
"LIES!" Severus reached inside himself and released his anger and cursed James. "Insectivora Infestare!" He cried hoarsely, as the spell arced and hit James on the face.
James' skin rippled and he cried out in revulsion as the insects crawled beneath his skin. "The hell did you do! For the love of Merlin! Stop this you foul bigot bastard!" James scratched at himself, drawing blood, as his skin quickly turned red and purple.
"Why should I! You never once have shown me mercy! You stole the most important person in the world from me! Why have you always hated me so!?"
James was unable to speak as he cried out in pain, his eyes pleading for an end to the curse, which Severus reluctantly removed with a flash of silver light.
"Now! Answer me!"
James collapsed and his hair had become matted to his forehead, by the sweat and blood. He was clearly drained from the nasty curse.
"Fine Snape! You want to know why? You were proud to be in Slytherin! A vile and tainted house! Full of future dark wizards!? What else? You simply exist! You're a foul hooked nosed bastard! You have never deserved Lily! She is a creature that never should have graced your despicable life! Parasite! You are a waste of flesh!" James howled as Sirius and Amaline kissed, oblivious to everything else.
Severus sneered and lowred his wand, and magicked James' away.
"I don't believe you Potter." He tried to speak the hatred he felt inside. James frowned and lunged at Severus, Severus sidestepped him and stared at the beaten Seeker.
"Do you want to know why you hate me Potter? I won't deny you my knowledge of this! After all, you think youself so brilliant! You have perfectly conveyed your reasoning over the last seven years! You hate me because Lily was in love with me! A weak, poor, skinny boy that was a rock in your shoe! I had the attention of a girl who was repulsed by you! You! The rich and powerful James effing Potter! She hated you, was embarrassed by your presence! You were spoiled and you couldn't have what you wanted! She is a trophy to you now! You can never truly value her as a person!" Severus grabbed the neck of Potters robes and pulled him to his feet, savoring the smell of fear dripping off of Potter now.
"Is that not so!?" Snape bellowed as he dropped James to the floor.
Neither Severus, nor James spoke for a long while, and though Severus held his wand at James, he used no spell. James' eyes seemed hollow as Severus stared through him. Severus huffed and stomped his way close to James.
"Get up!" Snape yelled as he kicked James.
James rose quickly, and tried valiantly to throttle Severus.
"NO POTTER!" Severus cried. He drew back his fist, felt the alluring power that resided within, and punched James one glorious time.
James fell heavily and Severus felt victory dispel the previous feelings of guilt and fear. A smile broke on his face and he finally felt free, for the first time in seven years. Snape took one looks at the defeated James and lowered his wand.
"Legilimens!" He said, as a flood of ideas came into his mind- images of lavish dinners, smiling elderly people, and finally ; Lily. Severus discovered that Lily was in Gryffindor tower today, studying for her NEWT's. Severus released himself from the mind of James and came to reality. He took one last look at Amaline and Black, then left the room.
"In a few hours, she'll never think of me again." He said happily, "Lily, here I come."
He raced up the stairs which creaked threateningly as he bounded up them. He felt the usual feel of compressing darkness envelop him as he disapparated out of the building and right outside the gates of Hogwarts.
He stepped through the open gates and his feet couldn't carry him fast enough. 'Lily has been restored! Her mind is clear now! My Clarity spell will have seen to that! James is unconscious! Amaline will take care of me for the time being! Victory is mine now! HAHA!" He laughed merrily as he made his way around those blocking his path. He nearly tripped over a very disgruntled Professor Flitwick and he shouted apologies as he rushed into the castle.
He leapt up the staircase that led to the seventh floor corridor. He cursed as the staircase he was on swept him off in the direction of the fifth floor. He scowled as some younger students came onto the stairs with him. Mercifully, both for him and the younger students, the stairs next came to rest on the landing of the seventh floor.
Severus ran towards the portrait of the Fat Lady and faltered when he remembered their password policy.
"Password?" The Fat Lady asked him.
"Umm..." He couldn't think of a time when he felt more stupid. "...Bubo...tuber...puss?" He said, with a half smile on his hopeful face.
"Severus Snape, I wouldn't let you through even if you did know the correct password. Do you take me for a fool?"
"Please, I must speak with Lily!" He pleaded, coming close to her, he felt his eyes start to water. 'To come this close, I can't lose now!'
"Miss Evans has expressed no desire to see you." She said and without warning, she swung open and Severus felt elated. He recognized the pudgy boy coming from the common room as Peter Pettigrew, the cowardly friend of James and Sirius.
"Peter!" Snape cried out. "Peter! Fetch Lily for me! It's important!"
Pettigrew looked intimidated and habitually looked over his shoulder. 'He's actually looking for Potter! He's such a fool!'
"Wh,..wh...why should I? Suh, suh, Snivvy?" Pettigrew stuttered. "You can't make me do anything." Pettigrew said, braver now.
Severus brandished his wand and Pettigrew blanched. "Oh please Severus! I'll go get her, please! ...Don't hurt me!"
"You disgust me! Just go get her!" He bellowed as Peter returned inside.
Severus paced outside the Gryffindor common room- doubting if Pettigrew would return.
"I should never have let him go." Severus yelled at himself as time continued to slowly pass him by. After a quarter of an hour, the portrait swung open , and the miserable form of Pettigrew returned.
He didn't speak, but simply held out his hand, which was clutching a piece of parchment, which Severus grabbed happily. Pettigrew, taking advantage of the silence, retreated to the stairs, and out of view.
Severus unrolled the letter and saw the beautiful script he knew so well.
Severus,
I will meet you, at our spot, give me half an hour. Make sure you do it correctly.
-Lily
Severus jumped in the air with joy: she was meeting him! Severus knew right away where he was to go, and he ran along the corridor until he came to the statue of Barnabas the Barmy. The naked wall seemed so normal, but he knew how to reveal it's secret.
"Show me the spot that is special to Lily Evans and myself." He repeated over and over as he paced the corridor. Slowly a dot of steel blossomed on the surface of the naked wall, and within minutes, a door came into existence. The door swung open for him, and Severus stepped inside the torch lit room.
Severus looked along the walls of the room once the door had closed. He saw his finely decorated dress robes resting beside Lilys' emerald green dress. He walked to them and breathed in the scents of the Yule Ball from their fourth year. Butterbeer was present, along with the smell of excitement, and Lilys' perfume.
"I could become intoxicated by the mere fragrance of these clothes." Severus spoke as his voice echoed in the empty room.
It was here that bore so much importance to Severus and his love. Severus remembered that day when he and Lily shared their first kiss. He had asked her to be his that day, she was quick to answer, with a jubilant "Yes!"
"The Yule Ball." He said , though he sounded far away. It was here that he and Lily came, when the crowds became too much for them. They had pledged undying love in this room, he remembered vividly.
They had come in here laughing, almost giddy from excitement. Severus had his shoes tied together, and they were hung around his shoulder. Lily was carrying her sparkling shoes in her hands. They collapsed on a comfortable couch. Both looked at each other and then broke out into laughter again.
"I swear..." Lily said, clapping in glee. "I think Potter shat himself when he saw us kiss!"
Severus had a big smile on his face as he pulled Lily in for a hug. "Maybe we'll get lucky now, and he'll finally leave us alone." He said hopefully.
"Mmm...now I don't think that could ever happen, but we know now; he has to be so jealous of you!"
"That would..be...possible!" He laughed and rested his head on her shoulder, and breathed in her scent. He was trying to savor this moment, maybe one day he could use it for a Patronus.
"Severus," She spoke softly, running her fingers over his back.
"Mhmm?" he acknowledged dreamily.
"I am, I believe, falling for you." Lily said, lifting his head with her hand, looking deeply into his eyes.
"Lily!" He said, his lips forming a smile. "Lily, do you mean that?"
She looked angelic as a few whisps of red hair fell onto her face.
"With every ounce of life I posess. You have cared for me more than I ever could have thought possible."
He felt himself grow warm and liked how wonderful it felt. His heart lifted up and he felt weightless, as he kissed her.
"I have always loved you Lily. I could no sooner stop loving you, than I could stop breathing."
"Love me always, Severus?" She pushed back his hair, so better to see him.
"Always you, Lily. Always you..."
Severus felt himself become more aware of the door as it opened behind him in the current reality. He felt anxious as the very real and present Lily Evans walked through the doorway.
"Hello, Severus," She said. He felt hopeful, her voice was kind and not at all impatient.
"Hello, Lily." He stepped closer to her, and offered her a chair that had come from nothingness. She took the seat, and he sat close beside her on another chair. "Thank you for coming. I appreciate your time..." He felt so unsure of himself, it was like he was the young boy all over again, spying on her in the playground.
Her smile was understanding, yet she seemed to be guarding herself from him. "Severus, I want to say first of all," She inclined her head and breathed deeply.
"That your assistance was also appreciated , in regards to Sarah Neller. That counter-curse was a step in the right direction." She looked at him and saw the sorrow on her face clearly. "I really miss you, Severus." She spoke bravely.
'Such words of encouragement!' He rejoiced, and then his thoughts flooded through him.
"Lily." I wanted to get over my disease, my problem. It isn't healthy, I know this now."
She frowned slightly and spoke carefully, obviously examining every word before she spoke it.
"You have done great evil Severus, how can you atone for your wicked deeds?"
"I've done many things! I've hated myself for what I've done to people! For all that I did to hurt you. But I am making a difference, I am persuading others to explore their ideas of truth!"
"And is it working?"
He felt like he was before the Wizengamot. "A few, really! But it is more than just that. I want to help rid the world of the coming evil! I want to destroy the evil that Slytherin house breeds."
Lily seemed almost scared to speak next, but managed to gracefully.
"What do you mean?" She did seemed scared now. "Do you mean..." She whispered. "Voldemort?"
He nodded vigorously and he was never more aware of the Dark Mark. She walked over and sat down beside him.
"Severus, ...please?"
"I can prove it!" He offered but she placed her hand on his mouth.
"Severus, I don't need proof. It would worry me more if you presented proof. It would worry me until the day I die! But surely you realize how dangerous it is to oppose him. If you are serious about this, why not join the right people?"
"I will Lily, but tell me, you believe me?"
"Of course I do! But Severus, how can you hope to fool him? Occlumency aside, he is gaining power so quickly!"
"I can fool him! I have fooled him!" He stopped dead, for never had his mouth betrayed him so completely. She placed both her hands on her white face, and she shook her head.
"No..." She asked almost pleading. "No Sev,...please no."
His secret was out now, how he hated himself as he drew up his sleeve and exposed the writhing skull and snake, tattooed on his forearm. She threw her arms around him and sobbed loudly, he felt like a monster for making her feel like this. He placed his arms around her awkwardly, as she continued to weep.
"Lily, Lily, it will be alright."
She pulled her head up, and he was shamed by her red, puffy eyes.
"How can you be sure though, God Severus! What made you do it?"
He considered telling her something that would hurt her less, but knew he couldn't. It would be the truth with her; just like it had always been.
"You. Your bravery made me want to destroy the Death Eaters from the inside out."
"Sev," she returned to her old pet name for him. "Severus, they are too great for you to take on your own! Please." She begged. "Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled you are on the opposing side of Voldemort now, but you'll need help!"
He grabbed her hand boldly and began to shake uncontrollably.
"Will I have you, Lily?" He feared her reply worse than he had Voldemorts', on his night of dedication.
She laughed but it held no joy.
"Of course, I will be fighting alongside you, Sev. I'm grateful beyond words that you've seen reason."
"It is bold,...possibly foolish to ask, but will all be forgiven?"
Her eyes reflected too much understanding, he feared, as she shok her head.
"I cannot forget what you called me, Severus. Hell, we'd been dating for a year. Yet you took your anger out on me, instead of James."
He made the tiniest attempt to speak but she held up her hand.
"But, I will forgive you Severus. I can look in your eyes and see the sincerity. I believe you when you say you've changed...it's everyone else you'll have to convince." Her words burned into his brain and it was a bittersweet victory. She was his friend again, his ally at least, but his work had only just started.
"And earlier, Sev… I didn't dance around your questions true meaning. We can't be together- Voldemort would never..." She grabbed his face and stared into it, her face full of fear and desire, "...ever let you and I live if we were involved Severus. I am a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and it is known by his side. The fact that we are talking right now can get you killed!
"When we graduate this spring this is where my life is leading me ; to the Order. But you and I, we can work together. We just cannot be together. I don't know what the future holds for James and I, but you and I cannot be... at least not while Voldemort lives."
Severus felt thunderstruck as her words actually sank in.
"But...you're saying...Lily, you're saying...you mean to say?"
But she said nothing more, she quickly wrapped her arms around him and her lips met his. He kissed her in return and was washed up in the violent waves of deepest love. They breathed and existed as one- all barriers of flesh and status dashed to pieces.
Red and black swirled and boiled in a steaming cauldron of spontaneity and satisfactions. Streams of omniscient consciousness flowed throughout, interrupted by spurts of blissful oblivion, and thoughts of right and wrong slipped away.
In the time following their escape from innocence, Severus found himself holding Lily Evans, tightly in his arms, both resting on a magically provided bed. Severus was certain the day had nearly been spent. Lily stared up at him and smiled, somewhat reluctantly it seemed.
They both decided to get up and redress, neither acknowledging each others grin. They faced each other now and Severus couldn't keep his eyes from hers. How he wanted to ask her now.
"Lily..."
"Yes Sev... assuming we both live, assuming Voldemort does fall...assuming everything turns out well...there is hope for us."
"But how did you know I would ask?" He pleaded, captivated by her shrewdness.
"I seem to remember a certain someone saying a sweet something to me once. You can't hide your feelings from me. Isn't that what was said, all those years ago?"
He couldn't stop a few tears now, he was burning with pleasure. 'She remembers just as vividly as I do!' He thought joyously. "It is Lily, you know me better than anyone else."
She kissed him finally, once more, and he breathed her in, so that some of her essence might reside within him.
"Severus, until Voldemort falls," She took his hand and kissed it. "Let this be our farewell."
He held himself together and he hugged her and kissed her forehead. " I shall long for that day Lily. And eagerly await the day until I can see your eyes, as clearly as I do now."
Lily gave one last smile to him, before she turned from him and closed the door. Severus felt himself long for her already, it was a physically painful for her to be away from him.
He pressed his fingers to his lips and felt assured. "One day, that's all that matters. One day we'll be together again."
He left the Room of Requirement, joyous that once again, he and Lily were part of a secret world. In the coming darkness both knew they could retreat to that room where they had shared tso much. There would always be the gleam of hope in the eye of the storm.