Downstairs and Dead

Chapter 3

Things Better Left Unsaid, Said

The bedroom, hell, the bed, was unsettlingly large. And that was coming from him, a man who made even king-size beds comfortable for one-person-only. This thing would fit a group of six.

Orgies, Laxus decided. That was the only answer; the bed was made with orgies in mind.

The size of it made Laxus feel small, and when coupled with the last two months of alternating guilt, panic, determination, loss, fear – he hated that one – it was like his asshole of a grandfather had exiled him all over again.

All of them. He saw the emptiness in Lucy. The disconnect. That searching, reaching need for something that was gone. He'd felt that the first time he was sent away from the only home he'd ever known. Liked or not, it was his home. And now he'd lost it again. They'd all lost it again.

The first time, difference was, the first time, he'd deserved it. She didn't. None of them did. Fuck, it pissed him off. Stupid old man. Then, just to go and disappear like that. It was crap, and Laxus had spent months caught up in a void of trying to make himself better, to turn himself into a man better capable of protecting the people he loved all the while wondering what could have happened to the old man who did that one thing better than anyone.

Gramps was the best at protecting them. He'd do anything to protect them.

Fuck. He just didn't know. And now, in this gigantic bed, after months of emotional hell, he felt like a child. And when he was a child, he too often felt scared and abandoned.

Fucking bed.

Fucking old man.

He listened to Lucy clatter around in the bathroom. Then clatter around her assigned bedroom. There was a silence that should have been her sleeping, but he heard her stand. He heard her pacing.

Lucy was going through an emotional hell of her own. He got that. That fact that he felt glad she was unhappy, that she was also unhappy, was bad. Really bad. But true.

When he heard her door open, he thought she might try the bathroom again. Or maybe sit in front of the fireplace and brood. If she did that, he might join her. Not like he was sleeping. He wondered if she'd sneak downstairs for a midnight snack, stealing food from the palace kitchens. That would be a ballsy thing to do.

She did none of those things.

Her entry was cautious, but she didn't bother to knock, which amused him. Such a Fairy Tail thing to do, break into his room. Not many other people had the balls to do something like enter his room after midnight without permission.

"I was wondering," she said without preamble. Being that he was what he was, she would know he could hear her coming, but then Natsu could sleep through the apocalypse. There was no guarantee he would be awake enough to respond to her softly spoken statement.

But the words were without any hesitation. She knew he'd be awake. She knew he'd listen.

"Spit it out."

"Can I sleep in here?"

That was unexpected.

"I'm not asking to sleep sleep with you-"

"Yeah, I didn't get that please fuck me vibe."

She glared and then rolled her eyes, which he again chose to find amusing. He expected a little more anger, to be honest.

"Ugh. Well, it won't even be close to the same," she muttered, "but... I got used to... back when... before... I didn't sleep alone very often. Then, for months since... Now you're here, and I thought I'd ask. But that's all I'm doing. Asking. You don't have to say yes."

He looked at her, her features shadowed and her body outlined by the light coming from outside the room. She was a dark silhouette still standing straight and uncertain in his doorway. He looked at her, at the things he'd noticed, but had not acknowledged.

Her hair was longer. Longer than it should be for only a few month's growth. Trying to distance herself. With the princess she had been professional. Determination was the only emotion he recognized in her as natural. The rest of her was false. A few small smiles. But nothing like the girl he knew, or somewhat knew. Not that they had been close, but he knew that she had a smile that made her a twin of her flame-headed partner. A smile that had vanished with him, taken away when the stupid bastard ran out on her.

Here, in this room, she looked like a hunter, tired and lost. The determination was there, she just didn't know what to do with it, and it was edged in grief.

How the hell could he turn her down? Turn her away. Back. Back through that door into the shadows and the pacing and the obvious sleep-deprived discomfort.

Shit.

"Don't kick. I've seen you kick. Don't do it. Bring your own pillow."

"Thanks," she nodded as she left with a quick skip.

What the fuck had he gotten himself into?

"I appreciate it," she climbed, literally climbed, into the bed and stretched out beside him, but not close enough to touch.

"It's fine. Not like there isn't room."

That actually called out a laugh from her. Bitter. Breathy. But it jumped in her diaphragm and warmed her skin. "I know, right? Made it even worse. Who needs a bed this big, anyway?"

He considered, but chose not to tell her his orgy theory. Sex was off the table, and it would just make the situation uncomfortable. Even if it was funny.

"Laxus?"

"Who knows. Something to spend money on. Fucking rich people."

"Mmm. Could very well be. Father didn't have them. Not sure if it's just the royal house, or if they're in vogue right now. I guess we'll find out next week."

"Guess so."

"Mmm. Thanks 'gain, Laxus."

"Yeah. No big deal."

"Goodnight."

"Night."

OOO

"You're very, um... heavy..." a female voice mumbled from under him when he finally woke the next morning.

It took him a second – more than a second – to remember he was on a mission with Lucy and that she had begged her way into his bed, non-sexually, the night before. He was surprised that she'd woken up before him, but then again, that couldn't be comfortable.

"S'rry," he grunted, flexing his shoulders as he pushed himself up, trying to work the odd knots out of his body that came from sleeping in such a weird position. He scrunched up his face, waking up slowly. He was never at his best in the morning. "Not use'to sleepin' with other people," he grunted as a muscle in his thigh tightened uncomfortably, "'specially not women."

She was straightening her top and running her fingers through her tangled hair when she paused to look at him. A grin touched her lips and spread wide. There was a crease in her cheek from her pillow case or the sheet. It stretched as she smiled, making her look silly.

He rubbed his eyes. "What?"

"Especially not women?"

"Huh?"

She made air quotes with her small, so-easily-breakable fingers, "I'm not used to sleeping with people, especially not women." The grin grew somehow wider. "Oh, Mr. Dreyer, I never knew! But it makes so much sense! And I feel like I understand you so much better, now!"

"Wait, what?" he rubbed sleep from his eyes and tried to catch up with what she was sayi- "Oh hell no. That is not what I meant. I meant I'm not used to... making... for small people like...they don't... stay...over..." he sighed. "Shit."

"No need to get defensive, Laxus. Perfectly natural! I accept you no matter what." Then that grin went curvy and sly, much like her hips and eyes, "And I think you and Freed are adorable together."

"Oldest insult in the book."

"Who was insulting anyone? I want to be your maid of honor, and the godmother of your first kid. I love it."

He growled, unsure of how to respond. One one hand … oh fuck it. He'd heard the Freed thing a hundred times already. It was an old taunt, like he said, and used by more assholes than he could put names to. But she was right, this time it wasn't being thrown as an insult. Sure, she was teasing, but...

I accept you no matter what, were not words he'd ever heard. Not given to him, at least. Even if it was teasing. And he did, he would admit to himself, start it. That was something... that was...

He didn't know. But it was something.

"Only our first kid?" he decided to embrace it while he stretched, shifting under the covers, allowing himself to admire the humor in the face of the woman who had seemed so lost the night before.

"Well, I figure some of the others need a chance at god-motherdom. Don't want to be too greedy. But I call first."

"I'll keep it in mind."

"See that you do."

After a moment of silence he asked, "I do that all night? I know I said no kicking, but fuck, if I'm smothering you to death, you know, self defense..."

She laughed, "I didn't want to be a bother. And it's not like you were doing it on purpose. People sleep how they sleep. Not that you couldn't maybe try to..."

"Well," he grumbled, "I guess you'll either deal with being squished, or you can find a new bed."

"Oh no!" she said, quickly throwing up her hands and dismissing the mocking expression. "You're heavy, yeah, but … but it was nice. I liked it."

It was his turn to grin as he slid off the bed, freeing himself from the tangle of the body-warm blankets. "Mmm, that's good to know, then. Likes the bottom, not bothered by size differences. Got it filed away for future reference."

Fists on hips, she huffed and followed him off the bed into the shared area of the suite where the bathing facilities were. "What, are you an archive mage, now?"

"Only with the really important stuff."

"Well, that's interesting. Can remembering to wear underwear to bed tonight become important?"

He grinned, happy she finally broke and mentioned it. Actually, he was more impressed she hadn't freaked the hell out way sooner. Like when she first got into bed. Or just a moment before when he languidly stretched himself out of that same bed.

"Can't remember something that's never happened."

"That's understandable," she nodded.

He blinked. Turned. Looked at her. Blinked, again.

"I mean, Gray didn't sleep over a lot," ahhh, "especially after Juvia joined, but, you know been there, done that. If you sleep that way, it's fine."

He crossed his arms. He took a step closer. Towering over her. Staring. Staring at her until she looked away. Until those slightly embarrassed, still lost, somewhat guilty eyes looked away from him.

"Used to Gray stripping? Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. I get that. Sharing your bed with your team? Fuck, I know Natsu and Erza, I get that, too. Now, you, I don't know. Not much. Was away most of the time you've been around. But I watch folks, and I noticed some shit about you."

"Such as?"

Defenseive.

"You're hot enough to land any man and no few of the women in Fiore, and yet I've never caught a wiff of sex on you."

"I'm not a virgin," she challenged him.

"Never said you were, just said you didn't go around smellin' like it. Still not done with my point. You may've come to accept Gray's craziness, but only cuz you see it as part of him. You, at least before Tartarus, still gave a shit about being naked in front of men and men being naked in front of women. I heard you screaming about that fire idiot being in the women's baths once."

"You heard that?!"her defensive stance, strained muscles and stiff posture went loose and shocked.

"Not the point, Lucy... well, maybe... yeah, that is the point. Four months ago, you might have allowed a dumbass and his stupid cat to crawl in your bed, but you still bitched at 'em about it. I heard you. You might've stood speaking with an butt-ass nude Gray, but you still told him to put on his damn clothes. But not standing here, not with a terrifying man three times your size."

"Terrifying? I'm not terrified of you," she snapped. Posture ridged. But no longer on defense. Offense. Her temper blazed in her flashing cheeks and clenched fists. "Smell. You said I never smelled like sex, well, if you think back, you'll realize I've never smelled like response fear, either. Hearing. My heart would never beat like one afraid. You're not a dumb man. You can figure this out for yourself, if you try."

He noticed that her fists were flexing. If she were taller, he was pretty sure she would have punched him. She was pissed off. Really fucking pissed off.

"You never attacked me directly, so I never felt that. Anger? Yes. Lots of that. Pissed as heck that you insulted us, looked down on us, your family. To think we'd crumble under that. Please. Anger? Yes. But not fear. I know response fear. I'd flinch away from my own father. Come on, Laxus," she was looking him in the eyes now. She'd even taken a step of her own, forward, closer, "What do I smell like? Sound like? What do you see in me?"

"Anger."

"And?"

He clinched his hands so as not to squirm. That little bit of teasing had turned on him fast. Fuck, this had gotten awkward. "Sadness."

"You were a winy little entitled shit who never spent a moment of his life without his guild or his worshipful followers, and then you were tossed on your ass. Exiled. You know. What. Do. I. Smell. Like."

"Loneliness."

"So, stand there naked," she growled, "I don't care. As long as you're there. Here. Sleep naked. I don't care. Just..." and the anger faded, wilted, leaving that loneliness behind as the only emotion to fill her, "please, let me sleep next to you. I know it sounds terrible, but, but, I miss them. And in a separate room, I'll miss you."

He sighed, wanting to run from the room. From the castle and capital and very continent if he could. "The whole trip?"

"I...I would like that."

"Housekeepers, servants will talk if you do, and those widowers you want to cozy up to likely won't take well to you spending your nights in my bed."

"Yes," she agreed while smoothing out her hair. "I'll make sure to properly rumple my bed sheets, or maybe spend an hour in it at night before sneaking over to yours?"

"Sneaking?" He swallowed, thankful as hell that the tension was draining from her and the air around them. Thankful that their fight, or whatever it was, was over. Fucking hell. He was not good at shit like this.

While she answered him, he started his morning routine. Only difference being that, as he brushed his teeth, she did the same at his side. It was odd. He didn't particularly like it. How did this feel more intimate than waking up naked on top of her had?

"Oh yes. We won't always have nice suites like here. Sneaking will be necessary. No need to worry, though. I'll hardly be the only one."

"No shit? Lots of bed hopping even when the whole parents are hoping for contracts crap is going on?"

"Simple cause and effect; it's because of the contracts that the bed hopping occurs. That aside, I was more referring to our killer. He'll also be sneaking around. Might as well do it, too."

"But not alone."

He heard her heart speed up and saw her cheeks flush. There eyes met for a brief moment in the mirror. Just as she said, he wasn't stupid. This wasn't fear. But it wasn't sadness or anger, either.

And it wasn't loneliness.

"You're right. Not alone."

OOOOXOOOO

AN: I've read the Freed thing a billion times... so I wanted to make my own little statement about it, I guess. Though if I were going to pair Laxus with a dude, it would be Natsu. Naxus is my male pair, without question. As I have said so many times before, Natsu has a serious hard on for Laxus.

Not an especially complex chapter, but trying to add to their relationship. To enforce the idea that Lucy's just nearly overwhelmed to be with someone again. I'm excited for her. And excited for Laxus. Sure, his normal fan club pushes the idea that he's the center of their universe, but in this case, he's truly something of a gift for her. And knowing that is a bit of a gift for him. Not that I think he takes Freed and the others for granted, especially post 416, but I think knowing someone else really needed him would be a powerful force for good in him. Or pain in him, depending on the outcome of that need.

Though this chapter was already written at the time, I'd like to do a brief shout out to Grin Like The Cheshire Cat for the convo we had on the issue of optimism and anger and fear and responsibility. It helped to solidify my positions in this chapter, even if we didn't agree on everything!

Chapter 4 gets them out of the castle and into plot, a swear. (Sorry I didn't get this out sooner... Daredevil really got to me... omg SOOOO good!)