How are you guys doing? Today was quite good for me XD

Kat: I guess it's both, I sometimes write to vent out my feelings but I'm a sadist too so... it's both XD

Monoka-lover: I will do my best to update as regulary as possible though I'm not very sure whether I will be capable of doing that XD

Thank you guys for voicing your opinion, I mean - writing a review actually takes some time and you don't always have it to think about what you want write so I want you guys to know that I really appreciate it and as you guys enjoy this story, I enjoy reading your opinions

Nagisa's P.O.V.

"How stupid," he said, face full of despair. It was is if those two words were to exactly describe his feelings. Bitter. Sad. Disappointed. Was I right? Probably. And yet I had the feeling it was more of a cry for help than an explanation.

Standing up, I answered: "Stupid or not, I am still here for you."

But Karma-kun snickered, covering his eyes with an elbow: "Liar."

"I'm not lying," I stood my ground, showing all of the determination burning inside me. For some reason, he gave off the impression of a hurt animal - unable to put trust into anything or anyone, not daring to rely on anything else than himself. I needed him to open his eyes and acknowledge the fact that he could trust me. But he wasn't looking. He didn't want to see it, accept it. He was... scared?

As I realized that, I ordered him gently: "Karma-kun, look at me." But that made my friend stiffen even more.

"See for yourself that I'm saying the truth. Look into my eyes and say again that I'm lying." But he didn't. "You are not alone, you have me, Koro-sensei, class E! Everyone here is a fami-"

"DON'T SAY THAT WORD!" He suddenly shouted out sharply which made me flinch.

"But-"

"There's no such thing... as family."

All of my strenght to convince him suddenly disappeared. As for why... indeed, why?

"There is." But it came unsure.

"No, there isn't. It's a lie. It's a gross, awful lie. You know that well too, Nagisa-kun." And finally he looked into my eyes. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't hide the mixed feelings I had right now. I wanted to show him my confidence. My will. However, what he saw wasn't the resolution of his friend that strived for help him. He saw a friend lost in his own words.

I was aware of what Karma-kun meant by that 'you know that well too'. Family, my parents. They never lived a happy life. Mom was obsessed with her wish of having a daughter. I never was enough. I wasn't a girl.

Did Karma-kun also have a problem like me? Did his parents force him to be something he wasn't?

Was I a hypocrite for saying all that? Could it be that he knew so he thought I was lying? Such a bad friend I was... he knew things about me. He knew when something troubled me. But when it came to me, I never noticed. And I would probably never comprehend that he was struggling with something unless he would collapse like this.

But I meant it. He, Kayano, Koro-sensei, class E. They were my important family. Was it not like that with him?

"What's wrong?" I repeated, sounding more desperate than ever. I had to know it. For my own sake, for his sake, I needed to understand what made the redhead become like this. It was driving me crazy, not knowing, being oblivous. It hurt. Him. Me. "What's wrong?"

For a while, he said nothing. He let his arm fall, eyes shut as if he wanted everything to fade away. As if he wanted to run away from this whole world painted by agony. I spotted a small, stray tear fall down from his cheeks as he whispered: "Everything."

Everything.

I stood there, not knowing what to say.

Everything.

What was that everything he was talking about?

I didn't know. I had no idea. And yet, I wanted to support him. Hah... how?

Suddenly, a loud voice yelled: "OOII! KARMA, YOU UP?!" It was Okajima-kun. He, Okuda-san, Nakamura-san and many others, probably our whole class, forced their way into the room. Their faces were tense until the redhead got into their view. That's when they smiled a little, relieved.

"Hey, Nagisa, Karma," Nakamura-san greeted, calmly walking towards us. "Koro-sensei told us you were awake." she bend down to see Karma-kun who however hid under a blanket.

Kayano was standing next to me, her face worried. But then she looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile. As if she knew that I too was feeling bad. It couldn't compare to Karma-kun though.

Meanwhile, Nakamura-san was trying to get Karma-kun out of the blanket: "C'mooon, just one photo!" And surprisingly, he lost the battle, failing to remain under the cover. Seems like the fever really did a number on him with the way he was puffing.

"Wow, you look horrible." The blond girl said, shocked, as she got a full view on her friend. Everyone gathered around Karma-kun and nodded in agreement.

"Your fever is still so high," Okuda-san mentioned as she touched his cheek. "We should get you more ice," and with a smile, she went for it.

"Hey, hey, idiots can get colds too?" Terasaka-kun asked sarcastically but even he couldn't completly wipe away the concern from his voice.

"Shut up, you mega idiot." The redhead retorted, his eyes remaining closed. What was it that he wanted them not to see?

Or was it that there was something he didn't want to see?

"Don't worry about it, Karma. That just means you are not an idiot, unlike a certain Terasaka here." Itona backed him up, saying it with straight face. The one they were insulting complained.

"Does anything hurt?" Kurahashi-san asked as she put a towel at the boy's forhead. He nodded, answering: "Head."

And after saying that, Okuda-san who returned a little while ago, whispered: "Everyone! Please be quiet, Karma-kun's head hurts!"

They did quieten a little but it didn't last long. After three minutes, they talked about manga, sports, tests, they probably tried to cheer Karma-kun up. I wanted to too. But there was something that didn't let me. A barrier created back then when the two of us talked.

Really, this class of ours indeed brightened the mood. Kanzaki-san was washing the towel for Karma-kun, Isogai-kun, Maehara-kun and other boys were nagging the poor sick boy and girls scolding them for bothering him. It made me smile.

Karma-kun fit here. All of his responses, faces, words, they were completly the same as always. Sarcastic, lively.

Was it all just a pretense?

I didn't want to believe it. This class, our teachers. Our conversations, our feelings. All the days that we spent together. This was what a family felt like, right? People who made you smile. People who made you feel safe.

Isn't that what you think too, Karma-kun?