Ah, I'm sorry for another dealy but -aaaaaaaaaghh author block?!- I thank you for forgiving my horrible previous chapter and am sorry for this one. It feels so cheesy and stupid and it makes no sense and aaaaaaaaaghh seriously!

Please forgive me.

Will you do as I say?" Her voice cut through the air, paralyzing and ridding me of any willpower left.

"Leave them be." I said with tears streaming down my face. It felt so disgusting, to cry, to give in to this bitch. "Do whatever you want, humiliate me, kill me, but for the love of God, don't hurt them." I choked out.

How could I sink so low? To bow my head down to this woman? To an enemy I despised and swore to destroy? I was supposed to be the one nagging her, the one who would have power over her. How come it was me being destroyed in the end?

"That would be no fun." she stated with a face as if she was talking to a dumb kid.

And exactly at that time, Hirame and Komuto-kun started coming to. The slut looked at me with a smug face, reminding me of her order. Fight them. Hurt them. Or I kill them. That's what her expression said.

So I listened. I bit my lip until the only thing I felt was blood in my mouth and started the calamity. They screamed, begged, asked me what the hell I was doing.

Indeed, what the was I doing?

My mind went blank. All that I did, everything I saw, it was so empty and so unrealistic that it felt like I was just a spectator watching a boring film. Something I had nothing to do with and something I didn't even care much about.

She was smiling. So satisfied, hungry to see more of the gore. She didn't want me to stop yet. So I didn't.

Snap. Snap. Snap.

The sound of bones breaking, the forming bruises on their body. And yet I felt no emotion at all.

My head hurt. I was sick, injured, tired. The taste of my blood, the blood of my friends on my clothes and skin, nothing seemed to matter anymore. My vision got black for a while and I hit the ground, hardly consciouss. I didn't percieve anything. The fact that they already fled, the fact that the woman was now taking me into her arms or that I was crying. I didn't realize any of that until she wrapped her cruel arms around my body and whispered: "It's all for your own sake,"

The sound of her voice seemed so distant. I wanted to fight it, to break away from the ropes, but my body was about to shut down.

"You deserved this. And they did too."

And that was the last thing I remembered from that day.

Later on, my life got worse and worse. Komuto-kun and Hirame-kun got into hospital with broken arm and leg, concussion and lots of bruises. They, the other classmates, even my neighbours looked at me like at a wild animal, unforgiving and judging. They were right to do so, I was the one to beat my friends into a gulp, wasn't I?

As if the bullying and gossips weren't enough, I got suspended for violence and had to spend with two weeks that horrible woman.

Her attitude changed completly. She acted so sweet and kind that I became paranoid of the time she snaps and does something as psychotic as before. The way she acted was much more worse than the cold, violent bitch from before. I didn't know why though. However, the abuse didn't cease. I got reminded of my worthlessness every single moment and slowly, I started believing it.

"Why do you still hope? There is noone who would love you. You are nothing but a misfortune. You killed your mother, hurt your friends. All you bring is hurt and death. Why do you expect anyone to love something like you?"

It hurt so much to be told that. Kids always want attention, they crave for affection and do whatever it takes to become acknowledged by people. I was like that too. That's why I still stupidly hoped for better times or for someone that I could believe in. How silly.

I thought I could endure it, that I could hold on. But her ways to break me were getting worse. She gave me the "love" which I wished for so much but subsequently crushed it by cruel words. Everytime. And everytime, I would fall for it. No matter how many times she did it and how much of experience I had, I just couldn't learn and still gave in to her snake-like embraces that would choke me afterwards.

"Why did you eat that? Such a waste. You aren't worth even having a dinner," she declared with a lovely smile and voice though that loveliness was nothing but bloodlust and sheer hatred. Every day. Every time I dared touch something, she would remind me that.

What's even worse, I listened to her. I realized that there was no ambition left for me and believed her. What was the point in living even? I was worthless after all, useless, cursed.

I just had to take the pills. Twenty of them in my palm and in a minute, they would be in my stomach, hopefully killing me instantly.

Smiling, I swallowed.

(present) Karma's P.O.V.

I was suffocating. Even though my breathing was rapid, it was rather shallow and in no way sufficient enough. My chest burned and cold sweat ran down my spine, completly ridding me of the heat from fever.

"Karma-kun?!" A voice asked and I felt two soft things rubbing my back, another patting my head and some more holding me in the sitting position, securing me.

It was just a dream. Another nightmare, though this time more vivid. I remembered all the bad things which surpressed hoping that they would disappear. I thought they did, but now they were back, more powerful than ever.

Koro-sensei looked quite worried but gave me some time to calm down before asking questions while rubbing my back. The shock didn't go away though. No matter how much I tried to catch my breath and control it, it was getting harder and harder to stay consciouss and I felt lighthearted. The octopus did its best to calm me down and sure enough, in two minutes I was back to earth again.

"Are you okay?" He asked, apparent concern in his voice but reassuring face.

I nodded, not wanting to talk about anything. The teacher knew that so he asked nothing. Instead, he took out a tray of food from before.

"You promised," he said with a smile, taking a spoonfull. "now say 'aah'."

I didn't feel up to arguing at all so I just opened the damn mouth and started chewing.

"Your friends are having Home Ec. with Karasuma-sensei right now! I wonder how it will end up?" He said to distract me. Also, the food tasted good so ate it without complaining. Koro-sensei seemed happy by as he fed me one spoon after another.

"There is only one period left to lunch. Should I make you something more?" Really, what was I, a pig? How could I take in so much in such a short time? The plate wasn't even empty yet.

You aren't worth it, suddenly something in my head whispered.

I stopped for a while, looking down on my lap.

Such a waste. You aren't worth anything.

It was getting difficult to properly think again.

Someone like you doesn't have the right to eat.

Sick.

It made me sick. The smell of meat, the taste in my mouth and weight in my stomach.

That's right. You should feel sick. Guilty for touching clinging to life.

"Karma-kun?" Koro-sensei asked as I put a hand over my mouth.

You should have never been born. Raised. Never.

Why don't you die?

The voice reverberated in my head, filling it with nothing but self-hatred and guilt. She was right. I should have never been here. I was just a mistake, an unwanted existance. No need to waste time or things on me. No need for me to cling to life, right? How could I forget?

And before I knew, I started vomitting.

Ah seriously, I know what I want to write but don't know how? It feels so stupid I'M SO SOWWYY

I think this part is going to take a lot of time...

Sorry.