AAAH I NEED HELP! Author block is kicking in and oh my god, the school stuff. Oh my god. Oh god. Someone please kill me.

Just kidding, don't fuss about it. Karma finally got better (or at least that's what everyone thinks)! Initially I didn't want to write from Karma's P.O.V. but eh, I did. And I think I like it.

Hope you guys enjoy it, see you soon! (Though I am afraid I will take longer to update this time )

Karma's P.O.V.

I told him almost everything.

What had happened when I was a kid.

What had happened after dad leaving.

How we lived alone.

How mom killed herself.

Sensei's face looked like the time Okuda-san gave him the poition. Blank.

I started talking about the bitch.

About her behaviour, her wicked hobbies and the way she treated me.

I described her pleasure as she broke me, put me together and then torn me into shreds. Again and again. And every time did that 'put together' part, she would forget some pieces or destroy them beyond repair so that in the end, what was left of me was nothing but a shattered image of something that used to be a human.

His expression darkened, veins popped and face turned red. Then black. Furious.

What however scared me much more was the way I was speaking. Calm. Distant. As if it meant nothing to me, as if I was just a narrator of some story, from different time and place. Shivers ran down my spine when I mentioned a nasty story, but I felt like smiling. Laughing as though it was the funniest joke I have ever heard. Indeed, my whole existance was a joke.

Was this the automatic defense I have built up after all those years? To pretend cheerfullness when feeling threatened? In danger? Haha, how pathetic.

But I didn't tell him more. He asked for the past. And that's what I gave him, no more.

Don't get me wrong, I trusted him. I always had, him and the whole class. It was just that in the hurricane and chaos that was taking place in my head, I lost sight of the important things. Of what was truth and what wasn't. And when people don't know, when they are confused, they get into a defensive mode - they don't trust, they don't risk. They drive others away in order not to get hurt and the words like 'trust' or 'family' - they mean nothing.

Just ask those who lived their whole lives in a war. Would you expect them to suddenly believe in others if they grew up being taught that everyone is an enemy?

Of course not.

But even though the tempest has calmed down a little, even though I knew they were the ones who would accept me no matter what, I didn't tell him any more. I didn't mention that she was coming back. That this living hell was going to return. And in four days.

I really wanted to laugh. I wanted to crack up into a mad laughter and then cry my eyes out and then punch the fuck out of me and I don't know what else. I was scared. But I didn't want to tell them. Call me an arrogant bastard, a coward, but I didn't want to lose any dignity left. Not before them. I said before, didn't I? They meant the whole world to me.

Ah, really, where was the smartass from before? The Karma who had answers to all questions, solutions to all problems? Why couldn't I get any sense to my actions?

"Sensei, I don't want anyone... to know." It was a plea. For him to give me chance to become the one they knew, to keep myself from breaking. If I had a reason to live, if I had them, then maybe I could pull through.

His face was still red. But he nodded, understanding my intention.

I sent him a warm smile and with that, Koro-sensei calmed down, exhaling. It seemed that every time I snapped out of the depressing state, his mood would improve. Maybe I could make use of that if I needed to convince him that I was fine.

What am I thinking? Lying to them again?

I should stop with those thoughts.

"Now then, Karma-kun! Let's read a book together!" He suggested out of blue, taking out four strange books which I have never seen before.

"I wrote these when you were sleeping! Which one do you want? This one?" He opened the red one and I froze at the sight of a certain yellow octopus in a armor with class E like his army.

The very fact that he made the book like for kids, drawing pictures and having so little text there pissed me off. I was no kid. The room temperature dropped ten degreeses but I was the only one aware.

"Or this one?" Yellow paperback with a picture similar to that of Alice in wonderland. Except for there was no Alice but my stupid teacher. He drew Nagisa-kun as white rabbit and me as a naughty Cheshire cat.

Wasn't it quite cold?

"Ah this one sure is interesting! I was inspired by the time Nagisa-kun had to crossdress! Our class with everyone's gender switched! Don't you think they all look so beautiful!"

Seeing Terasaka in girl version and Nakamura in boy's was fun. But as soon as I saw myself - was that a miniskirt?! And why was I flat?!

I was about to kill him.

"And the last one! You know, I like this one the most, it's about-"

It was his porn.

"AAAA, NONONO- THAT'S NOT- THIS IS JUST A- SOMEONE SET THIS UP I MEAN, SENSEI WOULD NEVER-"

Before he could even convey the message, I took those books and threw them into his face. I got a stronger urge to kill him when he avoided them as if he was completly innocent and didn't deserve it.

"DIRTY OCTOPUS! DIE! DIE! DIE!" shouting, I took every single thing I had by hand - books, pillow, pencils - and threw them at him.

My throat hurt and so did my brain. I had enough for today. My attemt to kill myself. The octopus and the three idiots finding out. Me being saved despite having resolved to end it all. And then being talked out of it. I was a weak ass. And this much gave me a headache.

Though I must admit that this little incindent made me feel less horrible.

Exhausted, I laid down and covered myself with blanket, ready to sleep. It was still so early but my mind was hazy. Unable to work or think up of anything useful. Like how to survive four days from now. That's why I needed to dive into the nothingness - at least for a little while, if not forever. To forget.

A soft sensation on my head. It was Koro-sensei's tentacle, he was standing at my side. Looking into his eyes, for a moment, I had a feeling that he could see right into me, through all of the barriers and masks. As though he knew of it all. Of my fears. Of my being tired and powerless.

And without knowing it, tears started falling down and wetting my pillow.

He didn't panic. He didn't utter a word. He just stood there, carresing my cheek so softly and lovingly, wiping away the ugly fat drops and guarding me like a parent. He didn't stop or go away even after I got drownsy and ceased crying.

The last thing I remember is that he tucked the blanket up to my chin and never left my side.