Journal of Nyssa al Ghul

2009/5/12

Father and I have had another disagreement. He refuses to acknowledge my relationship with Layla. I know he thinks me foolish for even considering a romance with anyone but she is so kind and beautiful. She reminds me of mother before she was gone. She even looks something like her... Maybe she invokes memories he'd rather forget. But I need her, I need something other than this bare existence. Sometimes it feels as if this life he's created for us will surely drown me.

2009/5/16

Something strange happened today. I was out on a walk by the ocean and I saw this odd splash of yellow among the rocks. A woman was there, barely breathing. Her skin was almost blue, it was obvious she had been there awhile. I didn't know what to do so I called to Akil and he helped me bring her to shore. I knew what father would say, to leave her and not make it my problem. For a man intent on saving the world by the means he sees fit he has surprisingly little empathy but maybe the means to his goal leave no room for it.

Akil and I brought her back to the compound and to my room. Despite the cuts and bruises her body was surprisingly intact for the abuses she must have suffered at sea. I had Fatima check her out and she said nothing was wrong so far as she could see. Amazing that she could survive the elements and sea without damage. Who is this woman? Fatima jokingly called her a water nymph, perhaps she is not far off.

2009/5/18

I've spent the last two days trying to convince father that letting in our new ward was not a stupid move. He seems to think someone must be looking for her, young women don't just wash ashore for no reason. I agree but I promised him that she would be my responsibility alone. Despite his feelings father is nothing if not pragmatic when it comes to helping others. He says she may stay but that upon awakening she would need to be submitted for candidacy as a member of the league. I have no idea if she is capable but I told him that after our kindness I was sure she would say yes. I can tell she is strong, it's evident in her build. She is slender but there is a strength I can sense underneath it. I hope she awakens soon.

2009/5/25

Her hair has taken on this glowing shade of blonde unlike anything I've ever seen. Probably from exposure to the sun and the salty ocean water but it fits her. I have taken to calling her Ta-er al Sahfer. I tend to her when I can but I have Fatima clean her and take care of her nutritional needs intravenously. It doesn't feel right to be privy to her intimately without her permission. Is that odd? I don't know her but I feel like I was meant to find her, like there was a reason I was on that beach that day.

Laylais furious with me. We barely see each other as it is but now I'm even more unavailable. I don't know why but it feels wrong to go see her when Ta-er is here alone. All of my free time is spent reading to her and recounting my daily activities. I think it's helping her, the human contact. I see her eyes flutter and I'm sure soon they will open. I need to be here. I want to be the first thing she sees when she wakes.

2009/6/2

Ta-er has begun to talk in her sleep. I gave her my bed and I sleep on a cot nearby but I hear the murmurings. Some of it is peaceful, pleasant memories I think about someone named Oliver. Also the name Laurel comes up often, a friend perhaps or a sister? Then there are the dreams that aren't so pleasant, the name Slade comes up most during those. I think her mind is trying to work through whatever happened. I hope she is finding some semblance of peace in her dream world.

Layla broke up with me. I knew it was coming. She deserves better anyway. I have so little to give to anyone. Everything I am is wrapped up in being the heir to my father's legacy. It is meant to be a lonely existence but I often wonder if I will be able to accept that? I always thought I could but now I'm starting to know what it might feel like to have someone other than my father and servants. It's nice to feel like your heart serves a purpose other than simply keeping you alive.

2009/6/6

Today was not good for me. I find myself distracted, always wondering when Ta-er will wake up. I was beaten in a fight I should have easily won during a sparring session. My father saw fit to punish me for my carelessness and embarrassing him in front of the members of the league. He's so concerned with appearances sometimes. It seems he thinks he needs to punish me twice as hard as the others , to prove my being his daughter means nothing. My back now bears the evidence of his wrath. Usually his cruelty does not bother me but lately I've been so emotional. Her presence is changing something in me. Before I felt like impenetrable steel, now it's like I feel everything. How can this be when she isn't even aware that I exist? Her mind is still somewhere with Oliver and Laurel. I entered my chambers and fell in tears beside her, laying my head on her lap. For a moment her hand caressed my hair as if to comfort me. Was that reflex or could she hear me? I've been helping her but I am starting to think I need her more than she does me.

2009/6/9

Perhaps prayers can be answered although my belief long ceased. And yet I asked to be saved from drowning and my savior appears from the sea. Ta-er woke today with the dawn. Light slowly creeping across my room when I rose to see a pair of curious blue eyes watching me from my bed. There was no fear there but a level of familiarity that surprised me. I realized then that all those one sided conversations might have been heard after all. She attempted to talk but I stopped her. The raspiness in her voice not a surprise since it had probably been awhile since she spoke. I quickly called for Fatima and she helped me sit her up. Her rehabilitation is probably going to be arduous but I was right about her strength. As she sat up she squeezed my hand so hard I felt myself wince. Aside from the pain I felt proud, she is most likely the warrior I imagined her to be.

2009/6/17

Ta-er is starting to walk on her own. At first she had to use a chair then a stick but lately she will only walk if someone is assisting her, usually me. In only a weeks time she's managed to become almost fully independent. I knew someone who could survive what she did had to be special. I feed her and help with some other basic things but she is already showing signs of recovery in every way. What would have become of her had I not found her? What would have become of me? I'm glad that I will never know. She can speak as well, her story is a fascinating one. She's a survivor in every sense of the word. Today I found out her name, Sara. It, like her, will forever be engraved on my soul.