Chapter 15

~Chimera~

After that night the rest of our days seemed to fall together, certainly not nicely, but… bearable. The chip in Malfoy's armour from that night made me realize that try as I might to hate him, in his perverted way, Malfoy had saved me. somehow it didn't matter that the very thing he'd rescued me from was brought on by him and his incessant need to humiliate me. the only thing that registered in my mind was that were I to find myself in need of saving, I could to some degree put some trust in him.

In the end though, there were a lot of "some"s in that notion, too many to make me budge. But too little to keep me from noticing things.

Like the fact that for all the control he wanted over me and over the whole nation, Malfoy didn't have full control over his own body. It took me more than a week to understand that his tics weren't in fact that. No, his incessant tapping of his feet when in bed wasn't because he was bored or anxious or insomniac. It was because when he didn't move them they moved by themselves. His whole body twitched at times. He was very good at hiding it, and were I to see him in his day to day life I wouldn't have noticed, he seemed to have them only when he was trying to relax.

Not once but twice I saw him get up and go for a run when he had a particularly bad day.

It frightened me that I knew such intimate things about him. It frightened me that I cared. Because I did. I'd have to be made of stone not to care. He barely slept, he was always agitated, he couldn't concentrate. his life wasn't perfect. He wasn't perfect, not even in this fucked up life he and his kind had created.

A month into this arrangement he started calling me in earlier. I'd sometimes go with him to his study where he'd make ma wait on his couch, naked while he'd take care of documents, answer invites and plan the destruction of what was left of my kind.

He didn't let me read anything. I'd smothered my pried and asked him for a book, but he'd denied me access to any. The night would usually end with him fucking me over his desk or having me ride him on the couch. He was still intent on making me enjoy it, while I was still determined not to.

It was another week later that I was gifted a book. It was short and lacking in any real intellectual substance, but it was a book nonetheless. I looked at it for over an hour, knowing that were I to read it, I'd give him reign. Because it wasn't by chance that I'd been given a book on that day. No, the book was reward for my orgasm the night before. A fact that I was desperately trying to forget, but couldn't.

He'd had a small party at the Manor, only a few select friends were invited. And I of course was asked to entertain. To his defence he hadn't made me wear any skimpy little maid's outfit, but a sensible cocktail dress. It seemed the objective of the dinner wasn't to humiliate me. or better yet not to humiliate himself, I however did have to go through the night with no knickers, no bra, but instead with cinnamon lotion coating my nether regions, making me squirm the whole night. Halfway through the party they'd just settled into armchairs with a cigar in one hand and a glass in the other when I noticed his leg twitch. A couple of minutes later it did it again, but this time I wasn't the only one to notice. On the other side, Theo took his eyes from mine to his, a frown marring his boyish features.

I don't know why I did it, but I felt that I had to cover for him, I had to keep this between us…

I grabbed the firewhisky and offered to refill Theo's glass. Form what I'd heard my past lover was slowly accepting his marital life, and so was his wife who seemed very much in love with him. Regardless, I knew his obsession hadn't completely faded, and me offering him a drink and smiling seemed to be enough to take his mind off of Draco and his imperfect self.

However I did later realize that my good act wouldn't be without consequence. Later in the evening I found myself face to face with Theo's puppy dog eyes.

'He isn't hurting you, right?'

I shook my head vigorously, not knowing if I was allowed to speak.

'I'm sorry.' He whispered. 'I still love you'

'Theo… please. I'm good. He's… bearable.' I grimaced at the end. 'I don't… I think I'm at least safe here.'

I excused myself after that. I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself.

When the last of his guests had left, I found myself pushed roughly into the door, a large hand between my shoulder blades. He smelled of firewhisky and smoke and something else, something expensive and velvety that I'd come to associate with Draco Malfoy.

'You're such a filthy whore, Granger' his whispered words weren't without malice this time, no this time around they were made to hurt. 'But you're MY filthy whore and the only cock you'll ever see and eventually worship is MINE.' He'd then made me kneel in front of him, still pressed against the entrance door and suck him off, but he didn't let me finish. He grabbed my hair and pulled me to the couch were mere moments ago he was conversing with his friends. He bent me over its arm and drove into me in one motion. He'd apparently forgotten about the cinnamon lotion and the consequent wetness he found, which in turn made him growl like a starved animal. It wasn't so much something in the force of his thrust, than in the force of his hold on my arms that made me realize Malfoy was jealous, and it might have been the now damaged psychological part of me that found that immensely erotic, but nevertheless it was my body that came undone under him. I heard him gasp and still for a moment before he himself coming.

He didn't say anything after that. I heard the zipper and then saw him ascend the stairs.

I didn't sleep that night. I took a long shower, scrubbing my skin raw and then spent a couple of hours chastising myself before getting out of bed and pacing my room.

Elf brought me my breakfast the next morning. And with it came the book. I stared at it for hours, not touching it. He was training me, like you would a dog. I knew that, I abhorred the notion and yet I couldn't resist. My hands trembled like an addict's gone into withdrawal when I went to grab the book. No, it wasn't by chance that it came that particular day.

N/A: Hey! Yes I still have this in my computer and yes I did write a chapter a year rofl. I don t expect the people that were reading it years ago to still read it, but I did say I'd finish it some day and while I don t write fanfiction anymore, I don t wanna leave my word hanging. So for those of you still reading and for those of you that stumbled upon this now, enjoy. Also I m still not comfortable writing sex scenes so… meh. Maybe some day far far away…