GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS! NEARLY 6000 WORDS?! I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS CAPABLE OF SOMETHING LIKE THIS!
Anyway, this is the sequel. No idea what to say about it - I did my best, took my time to write it, checked it, poured my heart into it. I don't think I have ever been this happy about writing a story. I don't think I will ever forget the feeling and how wonderful you guys are. I love you all so much and here is my gift of gratitude to you.
I read all of your reviews, they were funny, they were comforting, surprising, warming, they were everything I could wish for. I thank all of you so much, both silent readers and reviewers, I thank you so much.
Please stay healthy, happy and never lose hope. In the end, you will all meet a happy ending.
Until then, stay strong :)
And yet - you are my everything, just as I am yours.
"Karma, wake up."
The voice belonged to my mother. For some reason, she knocked at my doors to call me. I tiredly opened my eyes to see the time. Half past seven. Damn, I was late. Seems like staying up to three a.m. wasn't the best idea ever.
"I'm up," sluggishly standing up, I took on the school uniform. Mom just silently walked down the stairs.
Today, she seemed unusually happy. Or more like determined. She made me a breakfast and actually even giggled when I thanked her. Her eyes had something in them - a light? Maybe she finally found someone or something she was interested in. Good, since she had had enough of this horrible life. Of her useless son who did nothing but caused her pain.
"You look well," I remarked, taking a bite of toast. When I looked at her, for a second it felt as though I did something wrong. As if I hurt her again. I thought I saw something break underneath those eyes, killing the hope and happiness left. But it happened so quickly I was pretty sure it was only my imagination. With a bright smile, she smiled and nodded, giving me a glass of orange juice.
Indeed, today she was happy.
Well, why wouldn't she?
It was the day she committed suicide after all.
I shot up from my bed, drenched in sweat.
It happened again. Ever since my father moved in, the nightmares, memories of that time returned. The time when they started fighting, when he disappeared into America, when mom suffered alone and put on masks in front of me. And then when he left me with his bitchy ex-wife. Everything returned and it wouldn't let me have a proper good night sleep.
My head was fuzzy but it soon cleared after registring the pain in my lungs. I was breathing too rapidly again. I needed to calm down or I would get dizzy from the hyperventilation.
The clocks showed only 4:48 a.m. so I had more than two and half an hour before having to leave for school. There was no way I was getting any more sleep though, that much was obvious. But at least I wouldn't kill the time by doing nothing at all.
Koro-sensei and the others celebrated that I finally got rid of that whore. Nagisa-kun and Nakamura bought me lots of books (about 25 of them, you wouldn't be able to imagine how big the present box was) because they noticed how (allegedly) much of a bookworm I am. Honestly, I wasn't, I just had lots of free time and few ways to spend it.
Getting my butt to the desk, I opened the one I was currently reading (eleventh) and immersed into the literature.
Stories were beautiful. They showed us things that we always saw but never realized. Like feelings. Or our own thoughts. Thanks to them, everything disappeared and got replaced by the adventurous world where the main characters struggled, experienced all kinds of hardships and yet stayed strong. It was a motivation. But sometimes, it was a reminder that we are weak.
A good hour or two passed when I noticed the sun has finally started showing up. It was still winter - a month and half after I tried killing myself, a month after they helped me. Outside, white layers of snow covered the whole town and I stared out of the window, taking the scenery in.
So pure. So soothing.
Maybe I could make a snowman with class E.
Talking of the class, I missed them. I haven't seen them in only two days since it was weekend but even then, I missed them. Also, the things were still somewhat awkward at home between me and the old geezer. He tried his best but honestly, it was hard to forgive him or to call him "dad".
06:55
I could go out by now. After brushing teeth and dressing up, I went downstairs. Since it was cold, a single blazer surely wouldn't be enough so I added a winter jacket with scarf.
"Why are you up so early?" To my surprise a man sat in the kitchen, sipping on his cofee and eyeing me, taken aback.
Shrugging off the fact that he was up early too, I answered: "Dunno, just thought I would go enjoy the snow while I can."
And he nodded, standing up and heading towards the fridge. I knew what he was going to do so I stopped him in advance: "I'm not hugry today so let it be."
"You sure? According to your teacher-"
"Don't worry, he will surely stuff something into me anyway."
Confused? Me too. Kind of.
So to explain: After lots of shit, I agreed to go to the doctor with Koro-sensei in disguise. They took my blood to run some tests, measured my heart pressure, checked eyes, head coz of the injuries, etc, and last but not least, weighed me.
The results? As expected, I'm anemic, a bit low blood pressure, eyes all fine, head more or less too. What however made my teacher plug his fake hair out was the fact that I was 53 kilos at 175 (which by the way is a normal weight of some models so I see no problem whatsoever). Anyway, he said it was way too little and therefore makes me eat every fucking time he has the chance to do so. Damn, it was insulting - in my opinion, being a fifteen years old guy, I could take care of my meals just fine.
Maybe.
Either way, no matter how many times I tried talking out of it, it was futile. Every hour, he cooked snacks and made me digest them. So even if I skipped breakfasts or dinners at homes, I never ate less then four times a day. And seeing that it was working out well (gained 2 kilos in just one and half month), he happily carried on.
Fuck that octopus. I wasn't a kid.
But today, I really wasn't hungry.
My stomach was getting upset because of the restless and stressful night. This time, the nightmare took place that day when I saw my mother for the last time. It was only now that I noticed some things I hadn't before.
Like the pen and paper she had on a desk on breakfast. The one that had a small Sorry. Goodbye. written in it later on. Or as I didn't dare to suspect that time - her mood that seemed like cheerfulness but actually meant resignation. She no longer cared, she no longer hoped, she just went with the flow and decided to end it all. Yes, that's the reason she seemed so untroubled - everything would be going to get better soon. And it did - for her.
And I realized that the words "You look well" which I told her hurt her the most of everything I have ever done. Because it meant that I accepted her fake self and ignored, never admitted that she felt depressed and desperate. It meant that I failed to help or at least encourage her. That's why that something in her broke. I broke it. I broke my mother.
Cold. The snow was cold and yet I lied on it, far away from our house. I haven't got rid of the he bit of spacing out. To be frank, there's little chance that I ever would. It wasn't easy to resist the urge to withdraw into my own world and forget, numb everything else.
Talking of numb, I couldn't feel my arms and legs. It was only now that I realized my clothes were already soaked and frozen by the snow... and that was pretty bad, considering that I had about twenty minutes to the start of first period and if I went home to change, I would be late. Which by the way was unthinkable since Koro-sensei and Nagisa-kun would make a fuss about it.
So yeah, why not take a three kilometers walk up a mountain with frozen pants and jacket in -5 degrees Celsius?
...
That was a rhetorical question.
And yet when I arrived to the classroom, I got an answer.
Because I don't want to be undressed by my teacher in front of the whole class.
"Karma-kun?! Why are your clothes wet?!" The yellow octopus's face changed into blue in shock as he spotted my dripping self entering.
Nakamura widened her eyes, touching my cheek and immediately pulling away: "Damn, you are going to turn into ice!"
Terasaka snorted, looking very amused: "He has probably being fooling around in the snow too much or something."
I grinned, giving off a murderous aura. He shut up.
"Either way, we can't leave you like this. You are going to catch a cold," the motherly Nagisa-kun sighed, turning at Koro-sensei to find a solution.
The green and yellow strips were enough of a bad sign. And then when he pulled out a brand-new school uniform, I dashed away from the room right away.
Unfortunately, he was quicker. In a second, he stopped me, undressed me, changed me into a shirt, school jacket and pants and then tied my hair into a fontain, securing it with a fucking bow.
"Cute," Nakamura had her phone out, probably hundrets of pictures already taken, dazzled by the sight.
I swear I saw Koro-sensei, Meahara-kun (WHY?!) and some girls blush.
"Never thought I would see Karma in a uniform." That was Sugino-kun, his face screaming pure gold.
And everyone madly nodded, making me feel so embarrassed I promised myself to never ever lie in the snow before class. Never again.
Well but at least the scene spare me an explanation as for how that happened. Today I felt like shit. The stomach ache (though bearable) already kicked in. But what troubled me the most was the fact that I wasn't able to focus. I would find myself thinking of "why"s and "if only"s every time my mind wandered off somewhere else but lessons or my friends.
Damn, I just had to have that dream today, right? Why not yesterday?! There would be enough of time to cope that way.
Suddenly, something really warm found its way into my mouth. Confused, I jerked my body and mind awake to realize that the yellow octopus walked to my desk with a dish full of steamed buns? Well it was a break so he probably had enough of time to cook it.
"○↕%&‼◙╣#¶§↨&↑↓→!" I tried to curse but the bun kind of disabled my tongue.
Sensei nurufufufu-ed but his face soon softened: "It looks like you haven't had a breakfast yet. Also, you are a bit pale, are you still cold? Sensei can make fire and warm-"
Gulping the food, I stopped his rant, tired of it: "Sensei, you just dropped half of the dish to the ground."
"No? I didn-" and before he could even finish that, my hands pushed the tray of his tentacles.
"Yes, you did."
It was fast and merciless, I knew, but I just couldn't help it. My body was urging me to do something. Violence, fight, relief. Yes, I needed to relieve those bottled feelings, the past which was still haunting me. Maybe I still was really cold - from the inside, that is.
It seems like he wasn't able to even react or pick the buns up in the air from the shock, being easily flustered and all. Such a pity, they were good. For a while, the teacher only stood there with face blank, trying to process what has just happened but reaching the 'error' phase.
When he realized that his effort has gone in vane, he started crying: "KARMA-KUN?! WHY DID YOU DID THAT?! AFTER ALL MY LOVE AND CARE POURED INTO IT, HOW COULD YOU?!"
And he have pouted and cried for the entire period after.
"Sensei, are you going to teach us today?" Kayano-chan asked, her chin supported by hand. Apparently she was bored, the same was with the whole class. Some of the kids were eyeing me, maybe annoyed, but enjoying it nonetheless.
The octopus however could still be seen punching the walls with gloomy aura all around, nowhere near being capable of snap out of it.
Maybe I overdid it.
"Hey, Karma, was that really necessary? You know he was just trying to be nice," Nakamura sighed, laying on the desk and looking at me with those blue eyes of hers.
"Ah so?" I asked with an innocent smile even though inside, guilt was slowly burning me.
I know it was inconsiderate of me. No, ungrateful. They were just trying to help me. They were just being the good ones and here I was, taking it all on them. They wanted to help. And even though I knew that they could, for some reason, I push them away. Again. Haven't I learned my lesson yet?
Why was it so hard to be a good person?
Or could it be that... I just wasn't meant to be good?
That I have always been and always will be the destroyer? Of lives, love, friendship, trust, future, kindness.
I destroyed them all. Always.
"Shut up," unknown to myself, I muttered to stop the negative thoughts. This was no good, I haven't been freed from the abusive woman and hostile home only to get depressed again. I should be grateful. I have wonderful friends, wonderful teachers, a father who tries to improve our relationship. Peaceful home. No bruises or injuries whatsoever.
I have nothing to complain about.
I have no right to complain.
"Karma-kun?" Nagisa-kun was at my seat which I realized only now, hovering over me.
"Are you alright?"
Damn, I'm causing them trouble again.
"Yeah, sorry. It's just... some unpretty things popped in my head." I was honest. Unlike before, I stopped lying to them as in the end, they would be hurt. Thinking that they weren't worth my trust. Damn, I wasn't worth theirs. And yet they believed in me.
I saw some girls poking into Koro-sensei who started lightening up a bit. At least he wasn't that sad anymore.
"Unpretty?" The bluenette was concerned. Easy to tell - the eyes, the frown, the way his voice came out. Sheer concern. Which by the way now spread to Nakamura and Isogai-kun as well.
"I'm not having the best day yet, it's just that I remembered something. But you know, it's nothing worth worrying about." I reassured him with a weak smile because the stomach pain was getting worse to the point I was lying on the desk. As much as that was stupid, I still hated being seen as weak.
"We are always here to talk you know,"
I grinned. Of course I knew.
Now then, time to settle things with a certain two meters tall jello thing with seven tentacles. Standing up, I took a knife and swinged it at him. Barely dodging, he panicked: "Karma-kun?!"
"Ah sorry, maybe I should go a bit easier on you, you know, being the scaredy cat wimp and all." The mocking tone have always been convinient when taunting my enemy (in this case a pouting octopus). It made the oponent's blood boil and completly focus on my words and attitude.
It worked this time too. Sensei's veins popped, giving me a glare while crying, but soon the classmates sided with me and he got so embarrassed and nervous that the gloominess from before dissipated.
"Well then, if you excuse me. I ran out of juice. I shall buy some." before the start of English, fourth lesson, I stood up and casually walked out of the room. Bitch-sensei would surely bitch about it (excuse the pun) for the entire period which kind of made my mood, imagining her swearing in english and no one in class understanding her.
She usually did that.
Ah, the sweet taste of strawberries. I was chilling on the roof, the ether above my head and everything else far away from my mind. Soothing. Calming.
I needed time for myself. Just to, like,... sort things out. Maybe it was childish and awkward to dwell on nightmares and all but still, they hurt. They stang quite a lot and they just wouldn't let me be. And besides, catching up to sleep couldn't have been such a bad idea either.
But of course it was.
"It's your fault, Karma." There she lied, in the river, face white as sheet, eyes dead, and yet staring into me as though her stare could kill. Maybe it could. And yet the body stayed motionless, life long gone. The water was swallowing her whole body but her messy face twisted in hatred was very well visible, reminding me of the sin I have commited.
"If you haven't been so imcompetent. If you had helped me, supported me, if you had been a son I desired, it would have been different."
I was twelve again. There were people sitting behind me and I was wearing a black suit with cravat, standing on a stair which lead to a large white coffin. I was looking at her lifeless body, so peaceful it made me realize just how beautiful she was when all the worry and despair left her. How beautiful my mother was. And I just lost her.
My hands were holding a single white rose. It felt right to give it to her - as a goodbye, as a gift, as an apology, as a punishment for myself.
Then, the pale cold fingers grabbed my wrist and pulled me in.
"You deserve it." It was the voice of both my mother and that whore.
Dark. I couldn't see a thing but felt an icy skin on mine and frames which restrained my movement. I tried screaming, hitting the walls or whatever it was, but to no avail.
The voice and me were closed inside the coffin and I could hear the people throwing clay on us. Burying us. One minute. Two minutes. Five minutes. One hour. I yelled, but soon realized why there was no sound.
"You deserve it." The mixture of both womans hissed, nails digging into my skin and bruising my throat. I couldn't breath. I couldn't see. I couldn't do anything at all, just suffer for their sake.
"Do you know how I felt now?" My mother's dazzling face hanged over mine, still strangling me. There was no darkness anymore. Instead, a white nothingness which made her figure and expression even more clear and recognizable. Tears fell on my cheeks and I felt them mixing with mine.
I wanted to hold her. Take her into my arms, say sorry, say that I have always loved. To tell her not to leave.
I stabbed her.
Out of nowhere, a knife formed in my hand and I mindlessly jabbed it into her stomach. Not knowing how and why. I didn't want to. I didn't mean to. And even though it was her who was injured, the wound hurt me.
I stabbed her again.
And again.
And again.
Bloody mess on the dround, my hands, my legs, my clothes. They were all stained red.
I cried.
But mom smiled.
"Because... isn't this what you have always been doing to me?"
And with a last blow, I pierced her heart.
If I haven't been awake by now, I would have probably hit the ground real hard from falling off the roof and got myself another concusion. But the fall wasn't comforable either. My whole body was shaking, hands so weak I barely managed to get myself of the ground. But as soon as I did, I collapsed down.
Wonderful, I just got the second attire wet.
It hurt to breath. As though mom was still on top and blocking the airways. My vision so blurry that it felt as though I got blinded with void surrounding me. Like the dead confined in a coffin. White, black, it was hard to see the the difference, it was hard to see the reality. The sensation of snow reminded me of the touch of her corpse.
I was scared. I don't know what had happened, maybe I just silently wheezed or maybe screamed like mad, I have no idea at all. My whole body was paralyzed and mind hazy.
Suddenly, something warm wrapped around me. I couldn't see it but the words found their way to my ears.
"Calm down,"
I remembered now. The warmth of friendship, of care and love. This was my teacher and the ones holding my hand were my friends.
My eyes were closed and yet it was easy to say who was there. Nakamura on my left, her gentle hand holding mine, Nagisa-kun on the right, his firm grip securing me. Koro-sensei under me, having me lie on his lap and fondling my hair.
"We are here," they said it together. So affectionately, so truthfully.
The fear left me. My head cleared up a little and body loosened up. It was warm. And that's all I needed at this time.
"Hello, sleeping beauty." Nakamura remarked as soon as I dared to see the world again. It wasn't so ugly.
There was worry written all over their faces but they let me take a breath before demanding an explanation.
"Can you sit up?" Nagisa-kun asked considerately.
I nodded but had to use their help anyway. Koro-sensei in the end decided to take me himself since I would "freeze to death before getting inside". Not that he wasn't right. I felt the hypothermia coming. Though it would be less disturbing if he hadn't been holding me like a princess.
Judging from the fact that the whole class was all chattery and that they took me straight to the offce, it was probably lunch time. As soon as they placed me on the oh so familiar couch and got a me a heater and blanket, they started with the interrogation: "What's wrong?"
The fierce determined eyes - how could I resist them? The answer was easy: I couldn't.
I decided that this fight wasn't goint to end well if I were to take it on myself. But it was so hard to talk about my own problems. Didn't I say? I had a good life ahead, why did I dare to complain?
"It's okay not to be okay, Karma. That's why you have us." The blond declared, her words genuine and kind.
Hearing her say that, it made me gather some courage. It's okay not to be okay, she said. It's okay to be weak, she meant? Or to rely on others? But anyway, what did it matter, being weak or relying? Wasn't it them that I promised to protect and cherish?
Inhaling, I briefly explained: "I have been having nightmares. Is all."
They tried imagining what exactly the nightmares could be about. In my opinion, they weren't that far but not quite there either.
"Is that why you are so tired lately?" Koro-sensei wondered, giving me a hot chocolate. This time I accepted gratefully.
Well, seems like I really failed at reassuring them: "You noticed?"
"Of course! Why do you think I have been doing so much food all the time? Food is the cure! Food is justice!"
I stared in surprise, trying to remember the last weeks. Fuzzy. Actually, I couldn't recall what I have been even doing yesterday, not to mention the others. It was frustrating, scary. How come I never noticed that there was something wrong with me? Was I really that dense?
My gaze wandered off to the surface of the chocolate. I saw my miserable self, once again, reflected on the surface. The grim face and tired eyes which I have been so sick of. That was me.
"I think I need help." defeated, I whispered. It's not like I had any other option though - they would find their way to my heart anyway.
And they did.
Or rather, they forced themselves into my house.
"Karma? Who are they?" The old geezer asked as I opened the doors to reveal a certain blond and bluenette behind me. Koro-sensei went along too but he decided not to show up in front of my father and to get in by the window.
"Friends," I simply answered while taking off my shoes. Even though an hour has already passed, my limbs still felt shaky. I'm sure that the two of them knew but they said nothing and thankfully my father didn't have enough of courage to look at me when I was staring at him.
"Hello," Nagisa-kun and Nakamura greeted with a bow.
The man nodded and turned at me: "Are you hungry? I just made-"
But I really wasn't in the mood to deal with him.
"No, thanks." and I dashed away, leaving him all to himself, face twisted in sorrow. My friends seemed hesitant to turn away but I was already in my room so whatever it was that they told him, I did not hear it.
After three knocks but no reply, they opened the doors. My body felt heavy so if I haven't lied down on my bed, I would probably hit he floor face first again. And I did not wish to clean off blood stains again. Though I could have found a better position, this way I was almost suffocating myself (lying on the aching stomach wasn't most comfortable either).
They approached me and the girl started playing with my hair: "Karma, don't be so mean to your father,"
Weird that it came from her. Wasn't it her and Nagisa-kun who swore to never let anyone who hurt me near? Maybe it wasn't really that man who hurt me but he was the cause of all this shit happening.
Or was I blaming everything on others again?
My stomach hurt.
"Karma-kun?"
I ignored them, eyes shut and doing my best to withstand the spasm burning my abdomen. This has occured many times before and I knew it was from stress but it's not like I could do anything with it. Just withstand it. Bite my lips, taste the blood and wait until the pain either knocks me out or stops.
My bed suddenly deformed as someone else decided to hop in. The two of them were lying on my sides, Nakamura on the edge, Nagisa by the wall and me in the middle. I didn't have the strenght to mock them for doing it and I didn't even want to because they wrapped their hands around me and it felt so reassuring, so safe and soothing that it made my whole body relax. Even the agony from before disappeared and slowly gave in to the embrace that lulled me to sleep.
"Don't worry, Karma-kun. We will always be by your side." Nagisa-kun's voice resonated in my head, forcing the negative feelings and thoughts away.
"We're friends, right? Trust us. We will protect you, just like you always did." Nakamura chuckled, her voice a little embarrassed.
It was so nice. And yet, my answer was obvious: "I don't deserve it."
They both took my hands with no intention of letting go. It felt as though they were at war with me, war which would decide if I'm worth them or not. The only war out there that was meant to save: "You deserve all the love,"
Do I? Why was it that with those words, as if everything fell off my shoulders? Why did these words get adressed to me, of all people?
"None of what had happened is your fault. You are the victim. And you have the right to be helped, to be happy."
They were still here. My dear precious friends, the reason to live. I still had them.
"Be happy,"
And those were the last words I heard before departing to the dreamland. At last, I knew that this time, there would be no corpses and no death, blaming the misery on me.
I woke up to a click of camera. Immediately knowing what it meant, I shot my eyes open to see a certain yellow octopus taking photos of me, Nakamura and Nagisa-kun sleeping in the same bed.
Fuck.
Did this all really happen?
Did they have no shame at all?!
"SENSEI!" I threw a pillow at him but the thing already flew away.
He was now standing by the doors, his face completly pink: "So cute~"
The two idiots stirred and soon woke up as well, confused about all the commotion. The second they however spotted our pink teacher with the device in his hands, they emitted a murderous aura and followed my example, throwing everything by hand at him.
"DIE! DIE! STUPID OCTOPUS!" Both me and Nakamura yelled while Nagisa-kun already calmed down a little and did his best to stop us before we would damage anything.
I noticed it was already dawn. The outside was colored in orange, traces of the soon-gone daylight still reflected in the snow and making it shine brightly, resembling diamonds. My clocks showed only 17:09 but taking into account that it was winter, it wouldn't take long before the stars would come out.
"You guys should probably go now," I sighed and got up from the bed, feeling refreshed for the first time in who knows how long.
The two of them glanced at the time and made a grimace. Apparently they didn't want to leave me alone but I was fine now, thanks to them. So I gave them a smile: "I'm okay, I promise."
Maybe I wasn't convincing enough because they frowned a bit, eyeing me from head to toes, searching for anything that would say otherwise. They did not find it.
"I have been blaming myself for my mother's death and no matter how much I tried, the feeling never left." I started, looking down and playing with the hem of my shirt. "What if I have been more considerate? What if I had talked to her every day instead of hiding in my room and making her struggle on her own? Why haven't I helped when I could?"
Even though it hurt, I carried on talking.
"I know that it's useless to dwell on past but it won't let me go. It won't stop reminding me of my mistakes."
There were tears in my eyes and I tried fighting them back. They fell anyway.
"It's painful because I never wanted to admit it. The truth is... I want her back. I want my family back."
They stayed quiet. They were giving me the opportunity to let everything out.
Doing my best to stop the current of tears, I decided to look into their eyes and show them that my words were no longer lies. That what I told them before was truth.
"But now, I have you. I have a mother-hen teacher, caring and loyal friends who see me as someone worth of life. I have class E which always helps each other, a place to belong. That's why, now,... I am alright."
The two kids rubbed their eyes, probably moved by my words. They laughed and jumped at me, making us fall on the bed. They hugged me and poked my cheeks and Koro-sensei took us all into his tentacles so in the end, we resembled a big uneven ball. We stayed like that for half an hour, appreciating each other's presence.
But time flew and it was already dark, my friends had to go home. Sensei disappeared through the window, just like he came in. Unwillingly leaving, they sent me grins and waved before their figures got lost in afar. Closing the door, I turned around and headed to the kitchen. I was determined - no more hiding. No more mistakes, lost opportunities or cowardice. I had no intention of regretting my actions anymore.
"Karma? What are you-" he didn't even manage to complete the sentece from the shock when I took out two bowls and pairs of chopsticks.
"I'm hungry," my face was burning but I hid it by keeping my head low. But still, I could see his delighted face. The old geezer was about to cry, he sniffed and without hesitation threw his arms around me. That took me aback as I wasn't able to do anything else but widen my eyes and stay in the oh so passionate and strong hold.
"Karma," he chanted again and again, as if I would vanish into thin air any time. His shoulders were covering half of my face, him being about ten centimeters taller than me. However, this time he was the smaller one as he let his head fall on me.
"Thank you so much," he whispered gratefully. I know what it meant. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for giving me another you for accepting me. Thank you for moving on. Thank you for being able to free yourself from the past.
I did not break away. I finally had my father's love. I finally had my family back.
"Stupid dad," I said and with that, the stream of tears got stronger. Both him and me were dying to hear that word for so long. Dad. I had a dad. He was my dad. Once again.
My shirt was getting wet but I said nothing. This time, I would let it slide. His pathetic behaviour, his mistakes from past. Koro-sensei's inappropriate timing and photos, Nakamura's shamelessness, Nagisa-kun's stubborness. I would let it all slide. Because in the end, it was them and their nature that created our memories. It was their loudness that shooed away my dark intentions.
They were my reason to fight.
My reason to stay.
To live.
They were my everything.