Chapter Four
Pulling my jacket around me, I was painfully aware of my wobbly body. As I walked into the studio I saw Niska giggling nastily in a corner with a couple of other girls. Of course she told them. What did you expect? This time, the voice sounded eerily like Lia. I'd never believed in ghosts but there I was, hearing Lia's voice inside my head. A voice that I'd hardly heard for over ten years. Well, at least Lia would teach me how to be thin, I thought.
"Naomi, are you alright? It's time to start class now." Miss Katherine, my dance teacher, broke me out of my daydreams. Hanging my bag on a coathook, I pulled on my ballet slippers and walked up to the bar. Other than Niska's gang the other girls were kind enough not to comment on my weight, but I was sure they were staring at me while my back was turned. Well, who wouldn't?
As we started the class my stomach grumbled, but luckily the classical music drowned it out. I tried to focus on the music, the ballet exercises, just anything other than food. It worked for a while but on our last exercise, with five minutes left until the end of class, my stomach grumbled again – this time embarrassingly loudly. A chorus of muffled giggles burst out around me, the loudest coming from Niska's corner of the room.
"Concentrate please, girls." Miss Katherine called.
Red-faced and trembling with shame, I hurriedly completed the last set of assemblés soutenus then rushed to grab my bag. As the other girls heading out of the door, Miss Katherine held Niska and I back.
"We haven't told any of your classmates yet, but I and the other members of staff are planning the annual show – and you two girls are our main considerations for the lead role. Unfortunately only one of you will achieve the role, but the other will definitely get a good part. Keep up the good work!" Miss Katherine delivered the news with a beaming smile, but her voice wavered when she reminded us that only one could achieve the lead role. She knew the unspoken rivalry between Niska and me, even before the weight incident.
Coming close to me, Niska whispers in my ear so nobody else can hear: "Mark my words, I'm going to get that part. They don't give the main roles to fat girls." With that, she stalked off to join her friends. I get into my mom's car and sit zoned-out for the whole journey home.
"Mom, what's for lunch?" I'd been meaning to avoid the subject of lunch so that I could skip it, but I was ravenous after 2 hours of ballet. As soon as I said it, I silently cursed myself.
"Whatever you want. I've got work to do so you'll have to make it yourself."
Something low-calorie. Sandwiches aren't diet food, sweetcheeks. Having these thoughts in my head is weird, I thought, but Lia's voice is really quite motivating and friendly. (Looking back, I almost laugh at how naïve I was.) having only basic knowledge of what was 'healthy' and low calorie, I thought hard and decided – salad. That's what most people eat on diets, right? Lettuce, tomato, cucumber, throw some ham in for protein – not too much, we don't need unnecessary calories – perfect. Well done. Encouraged by the praise from Lia, I chopped up the vegetables and took my meal into the dining room. Sitting down with my mother, she looked up from her work and seemed surprised by my meal choice.
"Rabbit food? That's not like you. My daughter on a health kick – who would have believed it!" Was my mom really that shocked that I was eating healthily?
"I'm just trying to eat a little bit healthier, that's all. Anyway, I like salad!" trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible, I speared a chunk of lettuce and put it in my mouth. The bland, watery leaves weren't exactly delicious but I was so hungry, the plate was clear within 5 minutes. Still feeling hungry, I put my plate in the dishwasher and appealed to the voice in my head: Lia, I'm hungry.
Water. No calories, fills you up, flushes out your system, stops hunger pains – if you want to be thinner, water is the way forward.
Obediently I filled a glass with cold water and took it up to my bedroom. I spent the afternoon doing homework and sipping water. Despite feeling slightly guilty, I ate the omelette my mom made for dinner and had a normal relaxing evening. Just as I was falling asleep, Lia whispered to me: Well done, you've made a good start – keep going, little one.
Author's note: I'd really appreciate some reviews and writing tips