The summer vacation was over with the blink of an eye. Daniel didn't tell Serena about Hazel's worsening condition. He knew that she would try to get him money, and he didn't want her to worry about that. She had her own problems.

He felt sad by the thought that he wouldn't be able to spend as much time with Serena next summer, as he would have to work a lot more at the miller's. He knew that it was hopeless, but he wanted to do as much as he could to save Hazel. He wouldn't give in without a fight.

Serena travelled back to London, and Daniel started school again. He couldn't get his mind off of Hazel. He was constantly worried that she might be dead when he returned home from school or work. He barely got any sleep, and as if Hazel's poor health wasn't a big enough problem in itself, he soon would have even more to worry about. Already the first day Daniel returned to school, he was met by a new complication.

Daniel didn't even notice Henry standing around the corner. As soon as he walked by, Henry grabbed him and pulled him into an empty classroom, closing the door behind them.

"Wilkinson," Henry said and closed in on Daniel with a vicious smile, "I know about your dirty little secret!"

"What secret?" Daniel said, pressing himself against one of the tables, "I haven't done anything!"

Henry just laughed. "How stupid do you think I am?"

"I really don't know what you are talking about," Daniel said and gave Henry a defiant look.

The older boy grabbed Daniel's arm and roared into his face, "Don't mess around with me. I saw you!"

"What did you see?" Daniel yelled back, losing his patience. He was tired of being pushed around by Henry.

"I saw you holding hands with that girl!" said Henry furiously, "The girl from that rich family that visits Canterbury every summer!"

Daniel froze in his spot. "You don't know what you saw."

Henry began snickering again, almost maniacally this time. "You're fooling around with a girl of the upper class," he said, "It would be really bad if anyone found out."

"What do you want, Henry?" Daniel groaned, just wanting Henry to get to the point. Was this his revenge? He really hoped not.

"Finally we're getting somewhere," Henry rubbed his hands against each other, "Now, if you want me to keep quiet – and I'm pretty sure you do – I'll need you to do me some small favours."

This could not end well. Daniel gulped.

It couldn't be helped. Hazel was getting baptised, with or without John's blessing. Ever since Doctor Tate's treatment, Hazel hadn't done much other than sleep. Daniel did his best to keep her conscious as they walked to the Canterbury centre, hand in hand, but she was very weak. She barely noticed what was going on around her.

He normally didn't allow her out of the house, but he had gotten really worried now. He didn't want Hazel to be completely dead if she didn't survive this illness. He wanted her soul to live on with Christ. This was an emergency.

Hazel wasn't excited this time. Daniel hadn't told her that she was dying, but she knew herself. She could tell that the pain far exceeded what any other human being should feel on a regular basis. It felt serious. And the tension back home also was a give away.

Daniel looked down at his younger sister. She was quiet. He turned his gaze to the road and saw a coach come strolling towards them. "Look, Hazel," he said, "It's a carriage!"

Hazel only gave a bitter response, "I know, Danny, I have seen a carriage before."

He didn't say any more. Hazel's gloomy attitude wasn't making him feel better. He couldn't help but think that it was his fault that Hazel wouldn't grow up and lead a normal life, and that she was blaming him, too. He wasn't able to take care of her. He wasn't strong enough. He was weak.

Daniel bit his lip and tightened his grip around Hazel's hand. His inner demons were fighting. He forced them to stop. He would never let them win.

The Westgate came into sight and they walked over the bridge leading into the city. Once again, Daniel walked with Hazel directly down St. Peter's Street and went to the Buttermarket. This time he wasn't headed for Mrs. Bell's Treats and Sweets, though, but instead the building right across from it – Canterbury Cathedral.

Daniel and Hazel went through the church gate and walked the short distance to the entrance. Stepping inside they found themselves at the far end of the nave, looking towards the choir. It was Sunday, but people hadn't showed up for the service yet. It was still early. A few commoners could be seen sitting on the benches praying, while some tourists walked around, simply enjoying the architecture.

The Archbishop, William Howley stood by the choir, flipping through some pages in a thick book. Daniel moved towards him, determination in his steps. Hazel struggled to keep up with her older brother. "Excuse me, Bishop, sir," Daniel said as he got closer.

The elderly man turned towards the boy, confusion apparent in his face. "Good day, son," he said and gave Daniel a warm smile, "Can I help you?"

Daniel returned the smile, "We would like to have performed a christening."

Bishop Howley frowned and rubbed his chin, "Oh. When?"

"Now."

Howley's eyes widened. "Now?"

Daniel nodded. Hazel was distracted by the scenery. It was a really beautiful church. She vaguely remembered being inside of it before, but she must have been too young to get a clear image of it.

The Bishop closed his book and put a hand on his hip. "I don't think that will be possible. I am going to start the service in just half an hour."

"Can you not fit in just a small ceremony?" Daniel said and gave him a pleading look, "It won't take long!"

Howley considered it, then said, "Only if you are willing to have a public christening during the service. I cannot offer a big ceremony today."

"A public christening will be just fine!" the young boy said and nodded eagerly.

"Who is getting baptised?"

Daniel gestured to Hazel. Howley's eyes widened once again. "Has she not been christened yet?" Daniel shook his head. The Bishop nodded thoughtfully, "Then it's about time. I'll fix the ceremony for you."

Daniel smiled, "Thank you, Bishop!"

By the time the service started, the church was filled with people. Daniel and Hazel sat on the front row, so that they could easily walk up to the altar when it was time for the baptism. Hazel looked around the church. A lot of people she hadn't seen before were present. It wasn't that unusual as she hadn't been out of the house a lot, so she didn't know many of the citizens in Canterbury.

Daniel noticed Hazel's curiosity. He whispered, "Do you know what you are going to pray for?"

Hazel looked up at Daniel. She shook her head.

"I want you to think really good about it," he said, "Not all prayers are fulfilled, but if the Lord finds yours to be meaningful enough, he will grant your wish."

Hazel gazed upon her brother, then looked up towards the altar again. "I know what I'm going to pray for."

Daniel tilted his head. "Really? What is it, then?"

She giggled, "I'm not going to tell you! Then it won't work!"

The older boy laughed and shook his head. He couldn't argue with that logic.

The service dragged on for a good forty minutes before the Bishop called Daniel and Hazel up to the altar. Daniel helped Hazel onto her feet; she had gotten some difficulties walking as of late. She blamed it on her lying in bed all day. She looked out at the many people sitting on the benches. The nave was long and the loft high. It all seemed very surreal to her.

"We are gathered here today to baptise and christen this child, the daughter of John Wilkinson and Evelyn James, and to recognise that she is the child of God," the Bishop spoke and brought Hazel closer to the small container filled with the holy water. She glanced at Daniel. He just nodded with a gentle smile.

Howley turned towards Daniel, "What name shall be given to this child?"

"Hazel Evelyn Wilkinson," Daniel said without hesitation.

The Bishop held a long speech, asking Daniel once in a while if he agreed to the conditions. When asked about godparents, Daniel told him that he was going to care for her if anything happened to their father. He already was – he didn't say that out loud, though. After the long ordeal, the Bishop turned towards the container and Hazel ducked her head. "I baptise you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit."

After the ceremony, Daniel and Hazel went back down the nave headed for the church exit, as Daniel suddenly overheard a conversation.

"Ah, Mrs. Evans! Have you come to visit the grave of your late husband?"

Daniel turned around. He saw a tall woman in a long, black dress talk to Archbishop William Howley. A long black veil covered the widow's face. "Yes, I thought I should bring him some flowers. The man was more fond of them than me."

Her voice was dry and she dragged on every syllable with a snarl. The Bishop laughed, but Mrs. Evans didn't. She turned around and looked at Daniel. Her glare could have turned the bravest of men to stone, even through the veil.

Daniel jumped a bit and immediately fled the scene with Hazel in hand. He was completely sure that she was the same woman he had heard the rumours of barely one year ago.

My dearest Daniel,

You are right about the museums. You should come here, you would love them. I went to a public exhibition surrounding the Vikings yesterday. Father told me I had to learn about my legacy. It was really interesting.

Sometimes this place is nice. I live close to Jem and Regina, so I usually go to visit them after school. Mother said it is fine as long as I am chaperoned by the governess. Yesterday we spent the whole evening reading the Juvenilia. It was very amusing. We made sketches out of the tales. Even their stepsister Natasha joined us!

But that does not mean that it has gotten easier. I try not to make myself noticed in class, but I still hear them talking. And the professors always ask me why I do not go out and play with the others. I usually sneak up to the hallways where the older classes reside. Miss Mary sometimes fancies playing with me, but only once in a while.

I do not think I am fit for this life. I cannot blend in. I know my parents are disappointed. I am probably the biggest disappointment of their lives. I might as well have never been born.

I apologise for being so depressing, I know that you must find it very tiring. I just wish I could be as strong as you, Daniel. I hope you are doing well. Send Hazel my best regards.

Yours sincerely,

Serena da Silva

One single sentence from Serena's letter kept echoing in Daniel's head.

I might as well have never been born.

Her voice resounding, clearly, clear as crystal.

Never been born.

That was not how she was supposed to feel. No one was supposed to feel like that, and definitely not Serena. He sat on his bed, trying his hardest to resist biting his nails. Never ... born...

Hazel was asleep again. She slept during the most of the day. Ever since Doctor Tate's special treatment, she had been very fatigued. But she hadn't had a seizure since then, so it must have been working.

Daniel didn't know how to respond to Serena. He couldn't comfort her. He felt useless. If he was in London, he could be there for her like he was for Hazel – but he wasn't. He gritted his teeth, feeling the inner demons churning. Someday, I'll be able to protect you too, Serena.

Crash. Finally the sculpture shattered.

"God dammit!" Daniel held his breath and kept still behind the worktable. John aggressively put the hammer and chisel on the desk and hit his fist against it. "Bloody hell!"

It had only been a matter of time. With the way John had cut hard into the stone, it never could've managed to withstand the violent strokes. Now the surface of the horse's left flank was broken.

The young boy remained hidden, just listening. He heard John cursing at himself and continue slamming his fist against the table a couple of times, but after a while the cursing turned to mumbling. "Not … good enough... Hopeless..."

Daniel peeked up from behind the worktable. John had his back turned against him, standing by the other desk across the room. Everything was eerily silent. He reached his hand up on the table to grab the smaller hammer, but he stopped in his tracks as he noticed something odd – John's shoulders were trembling. He frowned.

"Why... Why did you have to go …?" John whispered, "Evelyn…"

Daniel's heart sank all the way down to his stomach. He stared with wide eyes at his crying father. The man who had always said that real men did not weep. And somehow, it was one of the most awful things Daniel had ever witnessed.

He swallowed a lump in his throat, trying to suppress the nagging feeling of guilt. He took the hammer and silently made his way to the door again, giving his father some privacy.

John kept crying, eventually breaking completely down. He fell to his knees.

Hazel sat by the windowsill. The weather was lovely today, very unseasonable though it was obvious that autumn had settled in. The trees right outside Hazel's room had lost several of their leaves. Instead, they lay in a big pile of orange and yellow colours right underneath the window.

She sighed. How fun it could be to jump into the pile.

Suddenly she caught sight of a nice elderly lady walking around with a big dog. "Mrs. Phillips!" she yelled and waved excitedly.

Mrs. Phillips lifted her eyebrows, but then smiled and waved back at Hazel. The bloodhound ran over to the window and jumped right into the pile in an attempt to reach Hazel and lick her cheek. She laughed. "Calm down, Rufus!"

"Hazel, my darling!" Mrs. Phillips said as she took a firm grip around Rufus' collar, "How do you do?"

Hazel pursed her lips, considering what she was going to tell the nice lady. "I'm fine," she said, "What about you, Mrs. Phillips? Has Elizabeth foaled yet?"

Mrs. Phillips chuckled. "She did this summer. Now she has a beautiful little baby boy. Mr. Phillips wants to make a real premium stallion out of it, I tell you!"

Hazel gaped at her, "Oh, Daniel should have it! He needs a good horse!"

"When he might come of age and height," Mrs. Phillips said, "If he truly is his father's son, he will without a doubt grow into a tall young man!"

"He's not very tall now," Hazel giggled while rubbing Rufus behind his ear. The dog was ecstatic.

Mrs. Phillips chortled in response. "No, so far he looks more like his mother," she said, "Anyhow... How are you feeling, Hazel? Is the illness bothering you?"

Hazel's smile disappeared and she averted her gaze. "It's not that bad," she mumbled.

But she didn't fool Mrs. Phillips' keen eye. "What happened, Hazel?" she said.

Hazel sighed, "Well... I had a seizure in the summer... And I had a special treatment done because it was really severe. But I haven't experienced any seizures since then!" She nodded eagerly.

Mrs. Phillips gave Hazel a gentle and sympathetic smile. "Is that why you haven't been out? Are Daniel and your father keeping you at home?"

"Daniel is," Hazel said with bitterness. She was getting annoyed with her older brother. He kept her locked in at all times without her being able to have any fun, while he just ran out and fooled around with rich girls. It wasn't fair!

"Now, don't sulk! He is just trying to take care of you, sweetheart," Mrs. Phillips said and poked Hazel's nose.

Hazel giggled and sat up straight. "I won't, Mrs. Phillips! I'm just bored."

Again Mrs. Phillips gave her that compassionate look. "I guess you won't be able to help me out with Elizabeth and the foal today, am I right?"

Hazel reluctantly shook her head, "I guess not..."

Rufus looked up at Mrs. Phillips. She seemed to be as sad about the circumstances as Hazel. "Oh well, then," she said, "Take care of yourself, Hazel. And tell Daniel and your father I said hi!"

"Thanks, you too, Mrs. Phillips," Hazel said and waved after the plump lady and her big dog. She sighed.

The weather wasn't as harsh this December as it had been the past couple of years, but it began to snow midway through the month, just before Hazel's birthday as per usual, and soon the whole of England was covered in a white blanket. Daniel had asked for a shorter shift at the mill so he could return home early and celebrate Hazel. It was a surprise, so she hadn't been expecting it. She was very happy to see him.

Daniel allowed Hazel out into the front yard just this one day. He made sure that she was wearing a lot of warm clothes so she wouldn't catch a cold, and afterwards they spent several hours building snow men and making snow angels. Hazel tried to pick a snowball fight with Daniel, but he said that she shouldn't run around too much.

John had stayed home the whole day and slept. It was no wonder. He had been up more nights than Daniel could count, working in the studio till he dropped with fatigue. After what Daniel had seen the last time he was there, he finally knew why his father spent so much time alone.

It had been almost five months since Hazel had had a seizure, the last one being on Daniel's birthday. He felt hopeful. Doctor Tate had really helped a lot.

"Danny, we need something for the snowman's nose," Hazel said. She clapped her hands.

Daniel looked around, then picked up a small pebble and put it in the middle of the snowman's face. "There you go, Mr. Snow," he said satisfied.

Hazel giggled. "Really, that was rather poor, Daniel."

"Now, don't you give me any cheek," he laughed and made a move to chase her, "or I'll come after you!"

"You can't! It's my birthday!" Hazel gasped.

"Do you think the big bad brother is going to care about that?" He gave her a playful smile.

Hazel screamed and began running. Daniel set after her. It did not take long before he caught her around the waist and they both fell down into the snow, laughing. "You're bad! You cheated!" Hazel said, though still grinning.

"I did not cheat," Daniel chuckled, "My legs have just gotten longer." They both continued laughing for a little while before calming down and just staring up at the sky. It was completely white.

"Happy birthday, Hazel."

"Thank you, Danny."

John had been awake for about half an hour. He looked out the window from his bedroom. His son and daughter were playing outside and having a good time, so it seemed. It was Hazel's birthday today. John never forgot, for this was also the day Evelyn had died seven years ago.

He observed the scene. He never understood how the siblings had become so attached to one another. Probably because they never had known Evelyn like he had. They couldn't see how miserable the world was without her.

John frowned. Something was happening.

Hazel sat up and leaned forward. Daniel also sat up and patted her back, looking at her confused. All of a sudden the white snow turned red. The young boy shot up to his feet in a haste.

It had been five months, but now it was happening again. John fisted his hands. Would it ever have an end?

"No, no, no, no..." Daniel mumbled as he lifted Hazel up from the ground and carried her towards the front door, "Hazel, stay with me!"

Hazel's vision was a blur. She only heard Daniel's muffled voice and a piercing timbre in her ears. Her whole body ached, especially her chest.

Daniel was about to kick open the door, but it opened from the other side.

"Hurry, let me take her," John said and reached for Hazel. Daniel nodded obediently with wide eyes and let John carry her to the couch. While he took care of Hazel, Daniel ran to fetch the laudanum. He didn't understand what was going on with his father. He never cared about Hazel before. Why suddenly now?

Daniel shook his head and grabbed a spoon from the drawer in the kitchen. He couldn't be bothered to think about that right now. When Daniel came back into the living room and started filling the spoon with the medicine, John said, "Doctor Tate is not in town, right?"

The artisan's son shook his head. "No, he's only here when on schedule."

Hazel's seizure wasn't too bad. She was not choking. It had started with a bit of vomiting, but now she was just coughing up blood and slime. Daniel tried to feed her the spoon, but Hazel resisted once again and threw it up. "Oh no, Hazel!" Daniel said panicked, and tried to fill the spoon again.

"Don't feed it to her," John growled, "Here, use this cloth." He handed Daniel a handkerchief.

Daniel shot it a confused glance. "But … how …?"

"Let me do it." John took the laudanum and emptied some of it onto the cloth. Then he pressed it against Hazel's nose and mouth. Hazel frowned, but soon her eyes became drowsy and she relaxed. A couple more seconds and she was asleep.

Daniel stared. He hadn't thought about that method. He didn't know that laudanum could be used like that.

John removed his large hand from Hazel's face and observed her for a while with his usual gloomy expression. Then he stood up and moved to put on his boots and jacket. Daniel didn't know where he would go, but he had a feeling. "Thanks, Dad," he managed to say before the slamming of the door.

There was silence in the house for a while. Then he added, "Tell Mother I said hi."