Autumn had settled in good. The air in Canterbury was definitely not warm any more, but that is what one would expect when being so close to the Atlantic Ocean. At least Canterbury wasn't a seaport like Ramsgate or Dover.
Daniel stood in line between Owen and Timmy, nervously observing as the professor examined the horses. The class had already saddled them and brought them out to the riding ground. Now Professor Hill had to make sure that all of the horses had been curried thoroughly and that the girth was fastened correctly.
Daniel had been given a chestnut gelding named Charlie. In Daniel's opinion, the horse was way too tall for him, but Hill had assured him that he was the right size.
As Hill tucked on Charlie's saddle, he stopped. Daniel felt a pricking in his stomach. The professor seemed to study the horse a bit closer. "Whose horse is this?" he said, obviously having forgotten that he himself had assigned it to Daniel.
Daniel awkwardly held up his hand, "Um, it's mine, professor." Some of the other boys giggled.
Hill crossed his arms and nodded. "I see. Well, Mr. Wilkinson, will you please come and demonstrate how you mount your horse?"
Daniel gulped, not feeling like getting near the horse at all. Owen nudged him forward, giving him a reassuring smile. He took a deep breath and walked closer to Hill and the horse.
Everett poked at Christopher. They both snickered.
Daniel stopped in front of Charlie. His eyes were calm and gentle, much like Owen's. He did not look like he could harm anyone, but Daniel bitterly reminded himself of all the stories he had heard about people being trampled to death by horses.
"Will you please, Mr. Wilkinson?" Hill urged, gesturing to the stirrup on the gelding's right side.
"Eh..." Daniel laughed nervously and brushed his hair behind his ear, "I don't actually know how to mount a horse..." Again the other boys laughed, louder this time. Daniel thought that he heard Everett's laughter clearer than the others.
"You just place your foot in the stirrup and drag yourself up," Hill said, losing his patience, "Mount the horse, Wilkinson."
Daniel did as he was told. He carefully put his foot in the stirrup, but was corrected by Hill to place it further back so that only the toe would have hold on it and the heel could be pressed down. He took a deep breath and lifted himself off the ground to pull himself up on the horse – only to find himself falling backwards as the saddle sled sidewards to Charlie's flank. He landed on the ground, completely stunned, while Charlie stamped in discomfort.
Now the whole class was laughing hysterically. Even Timmy and Owen couldn't contain their laughter. Professor Hill chuckled, also very amused. "Do you see, Daniel?" he said, "That is the consequence of not tightening the girth correctly. Imagine if you had been galloping down the highway and suddenly fell off the horse!"
Daniel quickly stood up again, rubbing his arms. He had not felt so embarrassed in a long time. How was he supposed to know how to tighten the girth anyway? He had never been near a horse before!
"All right, all right," Hill laughed and gestured for the other boys to quiet down, "One of you boys, help Daniel tighten the saddle properly so we can start the class."
All of the boys went to their respective horses. Owen and Timmy walked over to Daniel. "Come on, Dan, it could have happened to the best of us," Timmy said encouragingly as Owen fixed the saddle. Daniel merely glared at him. That was easy enough for him to say, he hadn't just involuntarily been made the clown of the morning class.
Christopher walked up to the boys and patted Charlie on his neck, "Hey Daniel, are you all right? Professor Hill can be a bit crude at times."
Daniel sighed and caressed the horse's soft muzzle. "I'm fine. It's just that I've never had anything to do with horses before."
"Don't feel bad about it," Christopher smiled, "You'll learn it! Horses are kind and loyal animals. I'm sure you'll grow fond of them in no time."
"Hey, Daniel!" The boys turned around. Everett stood by the side of his majestic Hackney horse. "Do you want to see how one mounts their horse?" he laughed. He put his foot in the stirrup and elegantly pulled himself up on the horse with no kind of accident like that of Daniel's occurring.
Everyone laughed besides Daniel. "Come on, Everett," Christopher said, "Don't be a jerk!" Everett smiled brightly at Daniel. He couldn't tell if it was well meant, though.
"All right, it should be safe for you to mount good ol' Charlie now," Owen said and patted the horse's hindquarters.
Daniel smiled, "Thanks, Owen."
"Boys, will you please mount your horses now!" Professor Hill yelled.
Daniel's friends left to take care of their own horses. He took a deep breath and placed his foot in the stirrup once again. This time, he was able to drag himself up on the horse without any problems.
Daniel felt sort of estranged from the other boys after the incident. They treated it as if it were nothing, but he wasn't fine. In spite of Everett laughing at him, they still wanted to be around him, even Owen. But it didn't matter; he didn't come to make friends with everyone anyway. Daniel decided to follow his original plan and just focus on his grades and education. He didn't want to get in trouble, and he definitely didn't want to be humiliated once again.
As Daniel walked out of the main building to go to his room, he saw the boys in the yard. He quickly hid behind the corner. "Benjamin," Everett said, pulling at the small boy's blazer, "Tell me more about your snails."
The boys laughed. Benjamin's big eyes looked around them, searching. Everett pushed him, a bit too harshly in Daniel's opinion. Harvey grabbed Benjamin to keep him from falling, "Whoa, there you go."
"You don't still keep them, do you?" Christopher said, frowning.
Benjamin stepped closer to the tall boy, seeking comfort. "I do. I want to keep them always. I love them!"
Everett burst into a loud laughter. Christopher's expression changed into one of pity. "But I don't think they like being held captive, Benji. I think they would be happier if they were free. Snails are not meant to be pets."
Benjamin looked up at Christopher with big pleading brown eyes. Timmy patted his shoulder, "I think Chris is right, Benjamin."
Everett pushed Benjamin again in the direction of the stables. "Come, let's go set the snails free." As the boys followed Benjamin to find the snails, Everett sent the others a look of derision. Christopher elbowed his side, and the blond rolled his eyes.
Daniel shook himself. He was glad that the boys didn't notice him. He felt so bad for Benjamin. He didn't like Everett's behaviour one bit. How he always seemed to be mocking someone weaker than himself. He tried to block out what he had just seen. Hopefully it wasn't anything worse than friendly teasing among boys.
Later in the evening Benjamin returned to their room, apparently in a good mood again. Daniel couldn't figure him out at all. Benjamin skipped in, immediately starting to change into his pyjamas. "Hello Daniel, how has your day been?"
Daniel looked up from the desk where he was doing his homework. "Um, it has been good. What about yours?" he said, tapping his pencil against his cheek.
The boy made one of his strange jumps. "It has been just wonderful, I'm glad you asked!"
Green eyes observed him with a look of doubt. "Are you sure?"
Benjamin tilted his head, obviously completely oblivious to what Daniel was referring to. "Yes, I am. Why wouldn't I be?"
Daniel shook his head and turned towards his homework again. "Never mind."
He felt the big brown eyes stare at his back for a minute, but soon Benjamin continued to get ready for bed. As he disappeared out the door to go brush his teeth in the common bathroom, Daniel moved his focus from the sheets of paper in front of him to the moon outside the window and sighed.
Daniel wasn't pleased to find out that the Christmas vacation started just right after Hazel's birthday. He had assumed that he would be home to celebrate it with her, but there was no way that John and Henrietta would let him leave the school earlier.
It was not that he hadn't tried. He had talked to Headmaster Wallace about it, and he had said that if he could have a permission from his parents in writing with a signature, Daniel would be allowed to leave the school legally.
So Daniel wrote home in order to get one. He didn't want Hazel to be alone on her birthday. He had written in his last letter to her that he would be there. He couldn't just break his promise. Just a few days before his sister's birthday, he received his answer. He sat down by his desk and tore open the envelope to read it.
My darling Daniel,
I realise that it is very difficult for you to be away from your sister in such a time when she is weak, but you must attend to your school. I cannot allow you to go home just because you don't want to miss out on her birthday.
Don't feel that you are letting her down. I have talked to Hazel, and she is completely understanding of the situation. She knows just as well as you and I that your education is important.
This is why I won't send you a permission. I hope you understand. You'll see Hazel again in a week, Daniel. You can congratulate her on her nine years then.
Enjoy the last few days at your school.
Best regards,
Henrietta Wilkinson
Daniel felt his blood boil. It was bad enough that he didn't get the permission, but it was even Henrietta that didn't give it to him. As if she had the authority to decide for herself if Daniel should have it or not without John's consent. He could almost hear her mocking, snobbish voice recite the letter to him.
He crumbled the paper and threw it in the dustbin. Such trash!
Hazel stared out of the window from her bed. It had started to snow. Everything was so bright and beautiful outside, a winter wonderland. She looked down at the letter from her brother again and sniffed. Her eyes were moist.
She knew that it was incredibly selfish of her to be sad, but she couldn't help it. She had really looked forward to seeing him again, and even if she only had to wait a few more days, it still hurt that he wasn't here on this particular day.
I apologise deeply, Hazel. I couldn't get the permission. I wish you a grand birthday, and I'll see you again soon. Please enjoy your special day, I'll be thinking of you.
Hazel wiped her eyes. How was she supposed to enjoy it? She couldn't even move out of her room. She was having seizures again, so Doctor Barton had ordered her to stay in bed.
She felt horrible. The fever wasn't as bad any more, but she had a constant headache, and her body was hurting as if she had lesions all over it. She wished that Doctor Tate was there to check up on her instead of Barton. She liked Tate better.
Just then, the door opened and Henrietta walked inside. She carried a tray with her. "How are you feeling, Hazel?" she said.
Hazel looked up at her with a blank expression to hide that she had been crying. "I'm fine, thank you."
Henrietta put down the tray on her bed stand. There was a cup of tea, a plate with a piece of cake, a spoon and a bottle filled with a red liquid on it. The bitter sweet smell of the liquid reached Hazel's nostrils and made them flare. Henrietta felt the young girl's forehead, "Your fever has diminished. How splendid."
Hazel nodded softly, eyeing the medicine bottle on the tray. It wasn't laudanum.
"Please eat, sweetheart," Henrietta said and handed her the plate.
"Thanks, Henrietta," Hazel mumbled and took a bite of the cake. It was delicious, but she wasn't hungry. She was going to throw it out when Henrietta left.
"I know that you are disappointed that Daniel couldn't be here. But you must understand how important it is that a young man get a proper education," Henrietta explained as she straightened one of Hazel's wild locks, "Daniel is going to be in need of it if he wants to do something with his future."
Hazel nodded, feeling even more selfish. She wanted Daniel to have a bright future, even if that meant that he was going to miss every single one of her birthdays. Henrietta tilted her head at the small girl. She poked her nose, "Now, don't be sad. It does not suit a young lady."
"Will I ever become a lady, Henrietta?" Hazel asked, looking up at the woman with glazed green eyes.
The madam eyed her with an appraising look, like she so often did. After a short while, she said, "Of course you will, darling." She stood up from the bed again and walked to the door to leave the room, leaving Hazel alone.
The girl looked out the window at the falling snow. Somewhere out there, Daniel was securing a future for himself, while Hazel was just sitting here, watching her future slowly melt away, like the snowflakes outside would once it would become summer again.
It felt like it had been an eternity since Daniel had seen Hazel – and when he finally saw her again, she looked even more awful than he had feared she would. She was bound to her bed, weak and her whole body sore. She had lost weight and the colour in her face had vanished. She looked close to a corpse.
It broke Daniel's heart. He knew that it was a bad idea to be sent away from her!
"Hello Daniel," Hazel said in an attempt to sound excited. She smiled and tried to sit up in her bed.
"Hazel, what has happened to you? You told me in the letters that it wasn't so serious!" Daniel exclaimed and sat down on the bedside. He caressed her cheek while studying her face.
Hazel put her hand over Daniel's, "Please, Daniel, not now. Give me a hug." Daniel sighed, biting his lip. He put his arms around her and pulled her into a warm embrace.
Returning home would turn out to be even worse than just staying at the school. Yes, he could look after Hazel now that he was back in the mansion, but he never really got the chance to spend time with her. He was constantly put to work; one would think that this wasn't a vacation at all!
But he managed to sneak into her room every evening before they had to sleep and tell her fairy tales, just like back in the old days. No matter how tired he was, he would always tell her a story. The look on Hazel's face was worth every day of frustration and exhaustion. He was so happy to see her again.
The mystery of where John had been all this time was finally solved when he dragged Daniel into town. "So what do you think?" he said, placing his hands on his hips proudly, "It's amazing, isn't it?"
Daniel eyed the large space. Everything was clean and organised and brand new. Work desks, modern instruments and a lot of new materials. Everything that John could have ever needed.
John had built himself a new studio on Castle Street in the town centre. It really was perfect. This was what he had needed in all those years. A new studio to fit his needs, placed in a convenient place where a lot of customers would pass by.
But one thing rankled Daniel, though.
"Come on, say something, son."
He looked up at his tall father. Daniel himself was starting to catch up. Hazel had been the first to point out how much he had grown – and not only in height, he also appeared to be much bigger when he embraced his petite younger sister. He was not so skinny any more.
John stroked his thick beard. It was not at all as dirty and messy as it used to be. It was groomed and washed and shaved perfectly into shape. John could have been mistaken for being part of the higher society.
But he wasn't. It was Henrietta who had the money.
Daniel eyed the new studio. "It's... It's fantastic."
"Yes, isn't it?" John said satisfied and clapped his hands together in triumph. He walked into the studio, showing Daniel all of their new gear. "Look, a completely new grinder! And the tools, so thin and precise, do you realise just how many beautiful sculptures we'll be able to make with these? We're going to make a lot of money, Daniel, I tell you!"
Daniel watched his father ramble on and on about how great everything was. The instruments, the space, the location, the possibilities...
The money. In the end, it seemed like it all just came down to money. And that was what finally made Daniel ask what had been troubling him, "But how did you pay for it?"
John stopped in his tracks and looked at Daniel. It took a short while before he said, "Your stepmother offered me the money. What kind of question is that?" He crossed his arms.
"It's just..." Daniel moistened his lips and looked around the large new studio, "I don't think it's such a good idea to rely on her fortune too much." The man stared at him. The tension was so thick that one could slice a knife through it. Daniel felt himself start to trip, "Father..."
Then suddenly, in three quick steps, John stood in front of him. The slap was so hard and sudden he fell to the ground. Daniel placed a hand on the left side of his face; it was burning. He had almost forgotten how it felt, the stinging pain of his father's large hand knocking him down. He bit his lip hard.
"Why are you always so ungrateful?" John bellowed, shoving Daniel further to the ground, "Why can't you ever just appreciate what I do for you and your good-for-nothing sister? You always question everything! You should be happy that Henrietta is in our lives! You should be thankful for all that she has done for us! Stop acting like such a brat!"
"I'm sorry!" Daniel whimpered, covering his face with his arms. He didn't want to meet the belt, not after all this time. He had finally gotten used to not fearing it. He couldn't cope with it again.
John took a deep breath, eyeing his grown son. The thin arms and legs had become longer and more muscular. The shoulders were broader and his voice had become deeper. "You're almost an adult now, Daniel," he growled, "You should learn to show some respect."
He grabbed Daniel's arm and pulled him up on his feet. Daniel rubbed his arms, still shivering a bit. He nodded, mumbling, "Yes, Father."
It definitely wasn't a vacation returning home again. John decided that Daniel should help out as much as possible in the new studio. Daniel wanted to stay home and look after Hazel, but of course Henrietta said that she would take care of her. Daniel nearly commented that she obviously didn't know how, since Hazel's condition had worsened so much. But he knew that he probably wouldn't be spared from the belt this time around if he said that out loud.
When he was finally allowed time to spend at home, Henrietta would be there breathing down his neck. She probably thought that he would break something or make a mess or something like that. Always was he kept an eye on. It was frustrating; he quickly remembered why he hadn't spent so much time at home back in the summer, so little by little he returned to his old habits of staying away from the mansion as much as possible. He felt bad about leaving Hazel alone in her bedroom, but at least he told her fairy tales every evening. He hoped that she could forgive him.
He wandered around the village he used to live in. Soon he walked past the grounds where his family's old house used to be; no one wanted to buy the shabby old shed, so it had been demolished instead. The grounds were still for sale.
Daniel sighed. His mother used to tell him fairy tales on that very spot. She had told him about Hazel, the morning star that had saved the world from eternal darkness. It seemed like a faint memory now.
He continued past the grounds and walked out of the village towards the Blean. He was a bit curious to see if Henry and his friends had occupied the clubhouse yet. Henry had picked a more remote location for the haunt, which made sense since he wanted it to be a secret. It still stood there, as nice and solid as when Daniel had finished it, though snow covered its roof now. He peeked inside the single window he had left in the rightmost wall. Confusion hit him immediately.
There was nothing there. No balls, no books, no toys, not anything. It was empty.
Daniel couldn't believe it. It had been six months since he finished it. He had spent nearly two years building that clubhouse, and Henry wasn't even using it. He bit his lip hard, his body shaking with sheer anger. That Henry...
That was when he heard the sound of snow crackling. He turned around, only to be face to face with the devil himself. "Ah Wilkinson," Henry's laughter dripped with mockery, "So you've decided to return?"
"What is this, Henry?" Daniel exclaimed, pointing at the clubhouse, "Why did I even build this?"
Henry approached Daniel, eyeing him with a look that should have warned the young boy, but he was too angry to notice. "Was it just so you could have an excuse to nag me? So that I could keep wasting my time and energy on some damned playhouse that you weren't even going to use? What is wrong with- ?"
Daniel stopped his rambling at once when Henry grabbed his collar. He spoke with a low voice, "Watch your mouth."
Daniel didn't get the chance to answer as he was immediately thrown onto the ground. Luckily the thick layer of snow softened his landing – but there was nothing to shield him from the kick he would receive in his stomach afterwards. All the air in his lungs was knocked out of him. For a second all sound around him diminished and he only heard his own pulse pounding, faster and faster. Daniel gasped for air, the memories of his childhood hitting him like a hammer.
Henry wasn't done. He grabbed the lean boy and lifted him up again. "Do you think I'm just playing around, Daniel? Do you think that this is all just for our amusement?"
Daniel still struggled to breathe. That kick had had a great impact, and Henry tightening the collar around his throat didn't help. He grabbed Henry's wrist, but of course that made no difference either. "I've been waiting for you, Wilkinson," Henry said through clenched teeth, "I've waited six long months for you to show your disgusting face here again. Perhaps you thought that you were too good for the old village, huh?"
Daniel shook his head vigorously. He managed to stammer out a few words, "N-no … Henry, please..." Henry punched him in the stomach. His eyes widened as the small amount of air he had regained left his lungs again.
"I'm amazed at your courage!" Henry roared, his eyes blinded by something resembling madness, "To think that you actually dared come back!"
His fist met the side of Daniel's face with an audible clash. Daniel's vision blurred. The world around him seemed to vanish in segments of red, blue and black. All he could feel was the stinging pain, a strong taste of iron lingering in his mouth.
Henry had definitely become stronger. He kept punching Daniel multiple times all over his body, not caring if he might break his bones in the process. "You sure have some guts for a coward! Just running away to some high class school, moving away from the village into a high class mansion, just leaving everyone else behind who actually deserves what you got more than you!"
Daniel was thrown onto the ground again. It did not take long before a small pool of red formed underneath him in the white snow. He couldn't tell where it came from, all of his body felt numb from pain.
His former classmate did not care. As Daniel tried to crawl away, he was merely kicked onto the ground again, struck in the ribs this time. "You – ungrateful – bastard!" Henry yelled between each and every kick he served the younger boy, "You – don't – deserve -!"
"Did she hurt you again, Henry ...?"
It was nothing more than a soft murmur, but Henry heard it clearly. He stopped in his tracks, breathing heavily as he stared at the bruised figure lying in the snow.
Daniel didn't look up at Henry. He stared out between the trees at nothing, his whole body shivering. He felt metallic tasting liquid drip down his chin, but he didn't make an effort to wipe it away.
"What did you say?"
The silence in the forest was deafening.
He coughed a bit before continuing with a hoarse voice, "It was your mother again... Wasn't it?" He closed his eyes and prepared himself for what was to come.
But it didn't come. After a few seconds of nothing happening, Daniel opened his eyes again and looked up at Henry. The tall blond boy was shaking violently. He bit his bottom lip hard. Daniel felt his whole body turn cold when he noticed the tears streaming down his face.
Henry finally snapped, "YOU KNOW NOTHING!" Daniel received a last aggressive kick that he could feel all the way into his core. Then Henry turned around and ran away, leaving the beaten boy to bleed in the snow.
There was a lot of noise downstairs. Henrietta and John's guests had showed up. Voices could be heard all the way up through the closed door to Hazel's bedroom.
Daniel flinched by the sting. Hazel drew the cotton pad back, frowning. "Keep still, Danny, else I'll never get you cleaned up."
The boy was currently not wearing anything else but his trousers. His whole body was bruised after the meeting with Henry; the bleeding had stopped the previous day, but the wounds still needed to be cleaned up a bit. Henrietta could not have Daniel attend the Christmas dinner looking like a beaten dog who had just returned home from a fight in the alley.
Daniel let out a sarcastic chuckle. "It's all right, Hazel. I don't really feel like joining the dinner anyway…"
Hazel gave him a stern look and crossed her arms, "Don't be like that, Daniel! You should enjoy the dinner for the both of us!" He looked at his little sister with a small grin, unable to take that grave look on her face seriously. She pouted and slapped his arm, "Don't laugh at me!"
"I'm sorry, Hazel," Daniel said as he stifled his laughter, "It's just... There's no reason for me to even be there. I don't know anyone, and I don't want you to just lie here all alone on Christmas Eve…" He moved his gaze to Hazel's duvet, his smile fading.
The small girl smiled gently and reached for a new cotton pad, "Don't worry about me, Daniel. I'll be fine."
"But you're not fine," Daniel pressed on, his eyes filled with concern, "You're so weak that you can't even attend the dinner with everyone else!"
Hazel avoided his gaze as she wetted the cotton pad with alcohol, "If I attend the dinner, I won't ever be fine..."
Daniel bit his lip as she started cleaning the wound on his temple again. It stung incredibly. The siblings kept silent while Hazel dabbed the cotton pad on it. When she finally drew back and reached for the cloth in the bowl of hot water, Daniel said, "I don't think that you'll ever be fine if you stay in here."
Hazel looked at Daniel. "Then why did you keep me locked up for so many years?" she said quietly.
Daniel didn't answer. He looked blankly at his younger sister, feeling nothing but a pain that didn't originate from one of the many gashes on his body.
Her bottom lip started to quiver. "Daniel..." she whispered, but she was interrupted.
The bedroom door opened. John looked at his two children, a hand placed on his hip. "Daniel, haven't you even changed yet? Get some clothes on, the dinner starts now!"
Daniel hesitated for a moment, but then nodded and stood up from Hazel's bed. "I'm sorry, Father. I'll get dressed now." He looked back at Hazel one last time. Hazel did her best to bite the tears back as he turned around and left the room without a word.
Daniel didn't want to stay at home at all. It was unbearable to be there. Everywhere he went in the mansion, there would be nothing but scolding, reprimanding or questioning, and he couldn't even look Hazel in the eyes any more. Luckily he had something else to focus his energy on.
He had picked a location even more solitary than Henry's haunt. It was placed far back into the Blean woods, almost out where Canterbury ended and Faversham started. It would take a while to walk there, but at least no one would find it.
He put the toolbox and the wooden boards down and looked around at the place. It was a small clearing, but it was large enough. He might even be able to make it bigger than the first one he had built.
Daniel sighed and picked one of the wooden boards. He checked his blueprint before measuring the board. Then he picked the saw and started to cut the wood.
He spent the rest of his Christmas vacation out in the Blean, getting started on his project for Serena.