1833
Daniel felt happy when he returned to the school. It seemed like a long time ago that he had longed to go back to the mansion; he felt much more at home here beside the Canterbury Cathedral. Even the rambling and snoring of Benjamin didn't bother him as much any more. As long as Daniel was safe and far away from Henry, Henrietta and John, he was glad.
He was already halfway finished with the foundation of the house he had started to build in the Christmas vacation. Daniel had to admit that he was quite proud of himself; he had gotten better with the craft. It was starting to become a routine. But the whole time he was building, he couldn't stop thinking about the receiver of the gift - he hadn't gotten a letter from Serena at all since she went back to London. He was a bit worried. Maybe she had lost the address of his school. He pondered if he should send her a letter first, but refrained from the idea. Serena always sent the first letter.
Everything went back to normal quickly. Daniel still kept his distance from the other boys, and luckily they didn't seem to notice. Even Owen had apparently forgotten about his and Daniel's bonding back in the autumn half term.
Daniel woke up in the middle of the night after being half asleep for some two hours. The candle was still burning. Benjamin was grunting as usual; he lay on his back with his limbs spread out as if he was in the middle of performing a jumping jack, his mouth wide open.
Daniel sat up, rubbing his eyes. Slowly he got out of bed, grabbed the candle and went out into the hallway.
Everything was quiet. Daniel navigated down the hallway of the dorm till he reached the door leading to the courtyard. He quietly opened it and went outside to find the outhouse. It was not a long way from the main buildings. When he had finished his business, he went to go to his room again.
As he crossed the courtyard, he suddenly noticed the voices. He heard whispering and muffled laughter, the sound of footsteps in the gravel. Daniel frowned, suddenly feeling a lot more awake. He tiptoed through the rubble past the dorm building and peeked around the corner to where the churchyard of the cathedral was situated.
Five figures strolled away in direction of the church gates leading to the Buttermarket, two a great deal taller than the rest of them. The lanterns in the cemetery revealed their faces. "Come on, Harvey," Timmy laughed, patting the back of his shorter friend, "You're going to have a little drink, whether you like it or not!"
Christopher and Everett put an arm around each other's shoulders, Christopher sighing, "I've missed the ladies."
"I'm sure they've missed you too, Chris," Owen said, and the group of boys laughed.
Daniel saw them disappear through the gates, feeling as if he had just witnessed a scandalous crime. He shook himself and hurried back to the dormitory.
Daniel couldn't help but be reminded of what he had seen the previous night as the boys sat down by the morning table. Owen took a seat beside him, acting completely calm as if he hadn't just sneaked out the other night and broken the school rules. "Good morning, Daniel," Owen smiled, putting his plate with bread and butter down on the table.
The other eyed him suspiciously, "I assume it was a good night as well?"
Owen gazed at him, looking like a big question mark. "Pardon?"
Daniel sighed, leaning closer to the boy. "I saw you last night," he said, his voice a whisper, "You and Everett and the others. Where in heavens did you go?"
Owen's eyes widened – and then he laughed. "Oh, you should have been there, Daniel!" he chuckled, though also keeping his voice down, "It was so much fun!"
"I don't believe we're allowed to leave the school grounds at night!" Daniel hissed, hoping to make Owen see his point.
Owen merely waved his hand in a dismissive gesture, "Ah, what the old professors don't know won't harm them!"
He couldn't believe what his schoolmate was saying. He stared at him, almost accusatory, "I wasn't aware that you went to fool around with girls while in school!"
"Don't be such a mood killer, Daniel," Owen said, taking a bite of his roll, "You should come with us! It's really lively out in the town at night!"
"Thanks for the offer, but I must decline," Daniel said as he finished his tea. He gave Owen a stern look, "And I suggest you try to keep out of such activities, too." He turned to focus his attention on his own breakfast again. He felt Owen's eyes on him for a short while, but then he turned towards some of the other boys and started conversing with them instead.
Daniel finally received a letter from Serena in February. It was about time, he was really starting to worry that she might have lost the address. When the mail had been dealt among the boys, Daniel immediately hurried to his room; he sat down by the desk, broke the seal and tore open the envelope. Biting his lip in anticipation, he started to read.
My loving Daniel,
I apologise for not writing you sooner. Believe me, I have thought of you each and every day, but I have just been so busy! I will explain.
You know how my mother fusses over me because I am becoming a woman. I am finally reaching a suitable age to join ballrooms and attend grand dinners, is that not just exciting? You will not believe how much attention I receive. All of Father's friends comment on how lovely I am. They say I have such good manners and a pretty face, just like Mother. I think my face is glued still in a smile for all the times I have blushed at a compliment!
Miss Farrell and I have gone through the dance steps so many times now, I don't think I'll ever be able to forget how to dance the quadrille. The corners of my mouth are hurting, my feet are hurting and my ribcage is protesting against the tightness of the corsage, but I have never been so happy!
The best part is that so many men flock around me, standing in line to have the next dance at every single ball. And many of them are so charming, Daniel! They treat me so well. I never thought that I could attract the attention of real gentlemen, but here I am! Mother is so proud, I can tell! I am not old enough to get engaged, though. It will still be a while. Even Regina hasn't found a suitable husband yet, can you believe that?
I do not feel ugly any more, I do not feel like I am as horrible and disgusting as all those girls back at the school told me. It's hard to feel that way when multiple young, and might I say handsome, men tell you that you're stunning every single evening! Who knows, I might already find myself a suitor soon enough. Would that not be lovely, Daniel? A tall handsome gentleman perfect for me! I swoon by the mere thought.
Now you know why I haven't written you earlier. I am sorry, but as you have probably realised by now, I have been so very busy. I can only hope that you are doing as good as me at your new school, for I must say that I am feeling splendid at the moment!
With much love,
Serena da Silva
Daniel moistened his lips and brushed his long brown hair behind his ear, tapping the desk with his fingers. Something was odd. He didn't feel so excited, and it wasn't only because he hadn't been doing as good as Serena had. In fact, it had nothing to do with that at all. Under normal circumstances, he would have been elated to hear that she was so happy.
But something in the actual letter disheartened him.
The best part is that so many young men flock around me.
Multiple handsome men tell me that I'm stunning every single evening!
Who knows, I might already find myself a suitor soon enough. Would that not be lovely, Daniel?
For some reason Daniel didn't think that to be very lovely. It didn't sit well with him. Who were these gentlemen? How old were they? Were they really as well mannered as they made Serena think? He didn't trust it one bit. Serena thought that they were all so very charming and handsome. She had never told Daniel that he was handsome. It bothered Daniel more than it should.
He clenched his teeth and swallowed. His fingers were shaking a little bit, craving to just tear something apart, anything. But Daniel didn't tear Serena's letter. He slammed the paper down on the desk instead and stood up, pacing back and forth in the narrow room while being unable to figure out what to do with his hands. At last he stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the small space, placing his hands on his hips and taking a deep breath to quell his nerves. This wouldn't do.
Daniel looked at the letter on the desk again, contemplating. He would have to answer her at some point. He picked it up, skimming through it once more. As he read those lines again, his hands involuntarily curled into tight fists, his knuckles whitening. He made a decision.
Owen went through the main building. He was supposed to meet Harvey in just a minute, but not before he had left his books back in his room.
He walked quickly through the school yard, headed for the dormitory building. As he stepped inside and skipped down the hallway, he was suddenly grabbed by the arm. He spun around with a surprised look on his face.
"I'll go with you. If the offer still stands?"
Owen smiled widely, his warm brown eyes glinting. "Of course it still stands!" he said, patting his friend's shoulder, "I'm glad you came around!"
Daniel nodded with a slightly strained smile. If Serena was out meeting handsome gentlemen, then why shouldn't Daniel have some fun with the ladies?
Benjamin was snoring as loudly as ever. Daniel stared at the skinny boy. He was lying on his stomach, limbs hanging down from the bedside and mouth open wide. A little bit of drool even dripped down his chin. He turned his gaze to the burning candle. He had almost just lit it, but only to chase the darkness away. He was not going to sleep tonight.
The clock ticked. Five minutes to midnight. Daniel sighed. It was time.
He slowly sat up in bed, keeping an eye on his room mate. The boy grunted a bit, but did not move. He proceeded to put his feet down on the floor, as silently as possible. Still no movement from Benjamin. Daniel wondered how the other boys managed to sneak out of their rooms unnoticed. He didn't know if there were any secret passageways in the school. He was just going to do it the old-fashioned way.
He bit his lip in concentration as he pulled on his trousers, all the while keeping an eye on his sleeping room mate. He didn't know why he was so nervous; Benjamin wouldn't wake up, even if the whole of Canterbury was being bombed. But still, he wouldn't risk anything – especially not when he was about to do something as outrageous as breaking the school rules.
After having put on his clothes, he grabbed the candle and proceeded over to the door. Just as Daniel grabbed the door handle, Benjamin suddenly shot his arm up in the air, "Stop!"
Daniel froze in his spot and stared at the boy. The arm stayed erected, a finger pointing up as if Benjamin was about to say something important. A moment passed. Benjamin then turned in his bed to lie faced towards the wall. Daniel heard him mumble a few interesting words in his sleep before everything fell silent, "... In the name … of everything stinky..."
Daniel stood still in front of the door, his hand still on the door handle. He held his breath, waiting to see if the other boy would move again and bust him on his way out of the room, but nothing happened. Benjamin had merely been talking in his sleep.
He moistened his lips and closed his eyes, trying to calm his nerves. Then he turned the door handle and silently made his way down the hallway of the dorm to meet up with the others.
"Good grief! What are you bringing that candle for? It'll get us caught!" Everett complained.
Daniel suddenly felt very small. He looked at the burning candle in his hands.
Christopher laughed and put his large hand on Daniel's shoulders, "Come on, Everett, give him a break. Without it, he would never stand a chance navigating the school grounds by himself!"
That wasn't true. Daniel could navigate the school grounds fine, but he just didn't like walking around when it was dark. He was not about to tell the others that, though. "All right, all right," Everett waved his hand in annoyance, "Let's just get going, shall we?"
Timmy put his arm around Daniel's shoulders, jumping up and down. Daniel suspected that he might have eaten too much sugar before going to bed. "Daniel, it's going to be so much fun! It's so great that you're coming with us!"
Daniel forced a smile, not feeling quite sure if he had made the right decision, but it was too late to back down now. The whole group of boys was already outside the cathedral, moving down Burgate. He blew out the candle and put it away in his jacket.
Owen had not been kidding. There was a greater commotion in the streets the further they moved down town. There were groups of grown men standing outside bars, laughing and conversing with drinks in their hands. Daniel wondered how the students of King's School were even able to sleep with so much going on right outside the gates. He shook himself, not feeling comfortable at all. He was not supposed to be here, and neither were the others. They were far from being old enough.
"Please, guys... You know I'm no good at handling the alcohol," Harvey said, blushing as the others laughed.
Owen nudged him in his side, "That is exactly why you should drink!"
Christopher looked around the streets, a big grin on his face. He seemed very comfortable in this environment. "I see our third home! McFadden Pub, here we come!"
Daniel turned his gaze to look where Christopher was pointing. A big sign over a large door read McFadden. A lot of men in nice coats were gathered outside, young as well as old. Daniel wondered if he and the boys were even allowed in there, but it seemed that they had been there before.
He didn't really listen to what the boys were talking about. He followed them into the pub silently, like a ghost observing everything around him. The light was dim; a few lanterns hung from the ceiling, purposely dulled to fit the mood. It was crowded. Both ladies and gentlemen filled the space, laughing, drinking, dancing. Everything was loud and obscure.
Daniel suddenly noticed that he was about to get lost from the boys in the mass. He hurried after them. Everett settled by the bar, laying a pouch on the desk. "All right, give me six jugs of your Irish beer, mate!" he bellowed. Owen put an arm around Daniel's neck, cheering along with the others.
The man behind the desk eyed them suspiciously. He was tall and broad, had no hair on his head and only one eye open; there was a scar over the other. Daniel couldn't help but wonder what had happened to it. He poured each of the boys a large glass of the alcohol, and Everett dealt it between the boys. Daniel was overwhelmed by the size of the glass; would he even be able to lift it to his mouth?
"Drink up, guys!" Christopher said and lifted his jug in a toast, "It's going to be a long night, and we need fuel!" The group cheered. Even Harvey looked excited to swallow it down, despite having protested against the idea the whole evening.
Daniel joined the toast, miraculously able to lift the drink. As he watched the others jug it down, he felt a moment of doubt. He had seen his father drink beer many times; he had seen how it affected him. He had become violent and ignorant. Daniel did not want to end up like that.
But then he looked at the others. They looked happy and satisfied. Besides, there were no violent men in the pub. They all held a glass, but none of them did other than laugh and have a good time. He closed his eyes and took a big gulp. It was cold and fizzy and had a bitter taste, but it was surprisingly refreshing. Not half bad.
"Do you like it, Daniel?" Timmy said and patted his shoulder. Daniel swallowed and nodded. The bitterness of the drink made him grimace, but he forced a smile.
"It's so bad for me, yet it's so good," Harvey sighed, clutching his glass, "Oh, the melancholy, the forbidden fruit..."
"All right, maybe he's had too much already," Owen said and flicked Harvey's nose, causing the others to laugh. Even Daniel couldn't help himself from chuckling.
Christopher put down his cup. It was already half finished. "What do you say we hit the dance floor? I want to find myself a dame!" he said and winked.
Everett grabbed his friend's shoulder and pointed across the room. "That fine woman has been looking over here for ages now. Someone should ask her to dance."
Daniel looked in the direction he was pointing. Sure enough, there was a very good looking woman; her hair was copper red and pinned up with many small hair clips. She was wearing a lovely dress that showed off her waist and bust nicely. The only problem Daniel could pinpoint about the woman right now was that she was exactly that – a woman. "Isn't she too old for you, Christopher?" he asked, frowning.
Christopher sent him a glance and raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting something, Dan?"
Daniel blushed, not entirely sure what he meant. "W-what? No!"
The others looked at each other as if they all knew exactly what each were thinking. Daniel looked around at them in confusion, jumping slightly when Everett put an arm around his shoulders. "I think that we owe you the honour, Daniel," he said with a sly smile, "You need to be … initiated."
Daniel's eyes widened. "Initiated?" Timmy and Harvey looked at each other with gleeful eyes. Owen bit his bottom lip. Christopher also looked as if something very interesting was about to happen, but the expression on Everett's face was the one that disturbed Daniel the most. "What does that mean, exactly?" he asked, not quite sure if he wanted to know the answer.
Everett sent the others a glance, then turned to Daniel again. "Ask the lady to dance, Danny."
Daniel nearly choked on his beer. "I can't do that!"
"Why not?" Everett said, looking profoundly shocked. The others chuckled.
The boy turned around to look at the woman again. She was chatting with some of her female friends, still glancing over at the group from time to time. He wondered if she knew how old they were. "I…" Daniel struggled to find the words, nervousness crippling at him. He looked at Everett again, "She'll probably refuse!"
They all laughed. "You really need to work on your self esteem, Daniel," Owen said.
"You're handsome, you know," Harvey nodded, "Give yourself some credit."
Everett nudged at his side, still eyeing the pretty woman at the other end of the pub. "And I think she agrees," he said, a wry grin apparent on his face, "She's waiting for you."
Daniel looked over in her direction again. It did seem that she was stealing glances at him. They locked eyes for a moment, but he couldn't bring himself to keep looking. He stared down at his feet, feeling like a fool.
"Come on, Daniel!" Christopher said and shoved him in her direction, "Go for it!" Daniel looked at the others. They stared at him, anticipative like a bunch of puppies. He had no choice.
He moistened his lips and turned around. The woman had separated from her friends and was taking a sip of her drink. Her glass was much smaller than his, much more elegant; much more fit for a lady. Daniel took a deep breath and approached her with something he hoped was determination in his steps. It could have just been panic and adrenalin, though.
She had seen him. Her eyes sparkled, but she quickly averted her gaze to the floor, pretending to be coy despite it being obvious that it was just an act. Daniel swallowed and mentally scolded himself. Why couldn't he be calm about it? A real man didn't become nervous around ladies. A real man made the ladies nervous instead.
It was hard to move through the crowd of drunk people, but he managed. As he got closer, he finally saw her face clearly. She wasn't incredibly beautiful; she was pretty average, but pretty nonetheless. Her nose was a bit crooked, her lips full and her eyes deep blue.
At last he stood before her. He noticed to his surprise that he was actually taller than her, but it didn't make him feel better; it seemed that the words were stuck in his throat. Luckily she said something first, "Hello, big boy, what are you doing here?"
For some reason, the way she addressed him made him feel even more nervous. It sounded crude and foul … as if she didn't have any self-respect. At least it pushed him to actually say something. "I… I came to ask you to dance," he said, his voice slightly higher than he would have liked.
She smiled, her eyes scanning him up and down. He didn't like it. It reminded him of how Henrietta always eyed him suspiciously with those cold eyes of hers, though this definitely was a bit more positive set. "I would love to," she said with a voice as sweet as syrup. She took his hand and dragged him with her out onto the dance floor.
Daniel felt victorious. He looked back to see if the others were watching, but to his surprise only Harvey and Timmy were still standing by the bar, and they weren't even looking his way. Timmy made large movements with several of his limbs, and Harvey looked as if he was sleeping with his eyes open. They had probably already gotten too much.
He turned his attention to the woman before him again. She put her hand on his shoulder, and he instantly remembered the time when he had danced with Serena. She had told him to place his left hand on the waist, for the right hand should lead the lady.
The small orchestra started a new melody. Instantly she spun around, and Daniel lost all control. He wasn't sure what he was doing, but he definitely wasn't leading the lady – she was rather leading him.
The music was fast. Everything seemed to be spinning around, the room disappearing in a blur. Her face lit up; she looked happy and anticipative. Daniel didn't know why she was happy. He just felt dizzy. Then, all of a sudden, it was all over. His legs felt like jelly. He grabbed a bit tightly on to her waist in an attempt to stay grounded, but she misunderstood his intentions and leaned forward. Daniel couldn't help but notice the prominent cleavage.
Before her lips could meet his, he leaned back. "Um, what is your name?"
She stopped in her tracks. For a moment she didn't say anything, but then she gave him a sceptical look, "You want to know my name?"
Daniel frowned in confusion, but nodded. She stuck her tongue in her mouth cavity, eyeing him up and down once again. "So that's how we play, is it?" He didn't know what she meant by that, and fortunately he didn't have to answer. A new song had already begun, but they did not start to dance. "My name is Rosetta," she said briefly, "You can't have my last name, and I don't want to know yours."
Daniel raised his eyebrows. He didn't understand why she was being so brash, but he decided to try and change the subject, "Oh, Rosetta. I understand." Rosetta frowned at him. He gestured to her head, "Like your hair, right?"
She rolled her eyes. "All right, this is getting boring. Have a nice life, pumpkin," she said, afterwards turning on her heel and walking away. It only took a moment before she was gone in the crowd.
Daniel was dumbfounded. He had just chased a woman away merely by asking her name. That was so sad that it was almost hilarious. He stood for a moment, contemplating what to do. People around him were having a good time, and frankly he was just taking up space on the dance floor. He couldn't just stand there like some other idiot. He sighed and began making his way back to the bar.
Harvey had finally fallen asleep. His jug was nearly empty, but Daniel didn't know if it was his first, second or even third. Timmy had also gone silent; he rested his chin in his palm and stared out at nothing, seemingly lost in his own world.
Owen had returned to the others. He stood by the desk and ordered another glass of beer. Daniel wondered how much the boy could manage. He hadn't even finished his first glass himself, yet he felt light-headed already! Owen turned around and smiled as he saw Daniel approach them. "Hey you! Did you have fun with your lady?" he grinned, offering some of his glass.
Daniel took a sip of the foaming liquid. "It was … interesting."
He didn't ask any more about it. Instead he pointed out to the dance floor. "Look, it seems like Christopher and Everett found themselves some damsels, too!"
Daniel turned around. It took a while before he recognised his two friends. Christopher was out on the dance floor; he had a good hold on a young lady, definitely a lot younger than the one they sent Daniel at. Everett was in one of the corners, surrounded by multiple girls who also looked too young to be in a place like this.
Where did these girls come from? Were they of wealthy or poor families? High-class or middle-class? Daniel couldn't determine it. They looked quite exquisite in their dresses, but they behaved crude and obscene like the beggars in the gutter. He really couldn't imagine Serena behaving like that, or even be allowed to join such a party. He turned towards Owen, "Do you actually know any of these people?"
Owen shook his head, still looking out at the crowd. "I'm the worst to ask. I'm not from the area, and new people come here every night!" That was a good point.
"But…" Daniel hesitated, not sure if he wanted say what was on his mind.
"What is it?" Owen said, tilting his head.
"Those girls… Are they prostitutes?"
Owen pursed his lips and looked back at the crowd. He studied the ladies in the pub, pondering Daniel's words. "Not all of them," he finally said, "Some of them might be, but then they're here with one of the gentlemen. This is a bar, not a brothel."
The younger boy sighed. "I think the woman I danced with was one," he mumbled, "I bet Everett did it on purpose."
"Now, don't jump to conclusions!" Owen laughed and nudged Daniel's side, "I'm sure Everett had no idea. But why would you think such a thing anyway?" His brown eyes widened, "Did you go all the way already?"
Daniel frantically shook his head. "No, of course not! She was just … very eager."
Owen relaxed and smiled, "As we told you earlier, you're a handsome guy, Daniel." He looked out to the dance floor. Daniel followed his gaze, noticing that Christopher and his lass had disappeared. He wondered if they had gone to somewhere more private to do ... carnal acts.
"What about those, Dan?"
Daniel looked up at where Owen was pointing. Out on the floor was a group of girls. They were probably still a little older than Daniel and Owen, but they were definitely a more suitable age and seemed to be more decent than Rosetta. Also, they were very charming. Owen turned his gaze to Daniel. "We can go together," he said and grinned, "I want one, too!"
Daniel laughed, feeling a little better. He felt more confident when talking to Owen; he supported and encouraged him, even if he got distracted sometimes. All in all, Owen seemed like a really loyal, dependable lad. He nodded, "All right, then. But no more than dancing!"
Owen shook his head with a wry smile as they started to make their way over to the pretty ladies, leaving a smashed Harvey and Timmy behind at the bar. "Dancing is merely the first act, Daniel!"