Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truth
No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
ON THE HEAD OF A PIN
11 years ago
Dean's POV
I swallowed back the lump in my throat and glanced over to my left. I wasn't used to sitting in this spot, and it left a big bundle of nerves in my gut. The only person who looked more nervous than me was the person sitting next to me.
"So, uh, you ready?" I asked, the words dry and forced out of my mouth.
"Uh, yeah, sure…" Beth nodded, her ponytail bobbing hesitantly at the back of her neck.
"Okay, well, just uh, put her in drive, keeping your foot on the break, and then slowly lift your foot until you get going…" I muttered, cringing a little at the telephone fifty yards away at the end of the empty parking lot. Surely she couldn't hit that?
"You know Dean, maybe we should steal someone else's car to do this in?" Beth said suddenly, turning chocolate brown eyes to look urgently up at me. She started to bite her lower lip and I felt a little part of me melt.
"Nah, you'll do fine. I'm here, after all, just…. Just take it easy… you'll do fine." I reiterated it more for me than her, but I didn't let her see that. Flashing me a more confident smile Beth eased the shift into drive and with bated breath took her foot off the brake, pushing down on the gas pedal just a little.
Baby lurched forward with a little screech of the tires, and then she had it. We were moving slowly around the parking lot, and my heartbeat started to pound in my chest, my temples were thumping, surely I was having a heart attack?
"Okay, easy… easy…" I warned Beth as she turned the wheel and curved the direction of the car. "Slowly…. Easy…."
"Dean!" Beth yelled in frustration, glaring at me.
"Okay, I'm sorry I'm sorry," I said, sitting back. "You're doing great, really." And she was, so why was my heart pounding so hard?
Present Day
Beth's POV
Every car in the near vicinity was blaring as I followed a lone figure into the parking lot. I cringed at the noise and fought the desire to cover my ears, it was so loud, and the scene before me was just as loud. Cars were upturned as if a tornado had picked them up and dropped them, the whole area was in disarray. The flapping of wings sounded behind me and a familiar tan trenchcoat moved past me, seemingly oblivious to my presence. I watched as Castiel reached his arms out to the side and instantly the alarms fell silent, causing me to release a breath of relief.
The angel moved effortlessly through the wreckage, glancing around as if looking for something. I followed, my footsteps silent on the ground, as if a ghost. Stopping suddenly, Castiel knelt to the side of a woman. Lines of street lights were the only illumination around, and they eerily lit up a lone figure lying on the cold, wet pavement ahead of me. I walked over to look down. Spread in an almost unnatural position, a leg and arm twisted behind her, was a beautiful blonde woman in a chiffon white dress, and her hair lay spread under her across the ground as if she had been floating in water.
Staring down at her with a troubled expression, Castiel reached out a hand out to her neck. He brushed aside a light scarf to reveal a gaping bloody wound that marred her perfect porcelain skin. It almost seemed as if she had been executed, the wound was deep and deliberate.
"Goodbye sister," Castiel whispered, looking at her with the closest thing I'd ever seen to love in his eyes. Sirens blared behind us and I glanced up to see police cars arriving on the scene. Uniforms exited their cars and ran toward the body, looking all around them at the carnage. As on officer reached the body, I heard him utter an exclamation.
"What the hell?!"
What the Hell indeed? Castiel was gone, and I felt myself lifting into the air, looking down on the scene below. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw the outline of blackened wings seared into the asphalt. She'd been an angel, and she's just been murdered.
I awoke from the dream with a gasp, sitting up straight in the back seat of the family car that was our home.
"Ruby will meet us outside Cheyenne, she's been tracking some leads," Sam was saying to Dean, who was reclining in the passenger seat with a sour look on his face, at the sound of Ruby's name Dean groaned. "Look, I know she's not exactly on your Christmas list, but if she can help us get to Lilith…"
Dean scowled and rolled his eyes. "Hey, man, work with Ruby, don't," he said, turning to look at me. "I don't really give a rat's ass." His eyes met mine with concern. "You okay baby?"
I nodded, tossing him a smile which he almost returned with one of his own.
"What's your problem?" Sam asked, not realising, or maybe ignoring my sudden waking from slumber. Dean turned to look back at our little brother.
"Pamela didn't want anything to do with this and we dragged her back into it, Sam," Dean said, and just like that I felt the pangs of guilt and frustration seep back into my body.
"She knew what was at stake," Sam argued.
"Oh, yeah. Saving the world," I muttered, crossing my arms. "And we're doing such a damn good job of it," I added, meeting his eyes in the rear view mirror.
"Beth…" Sam sighed, a pained look in his eyes.
"I'm tired of burying friends, Sam," I added, turning to look out the window and leaning heavily on the door.
"Look, we catch a fresh tail…" Sam said, turning back to Dean.
"And we follow it," Dean cut in with a nod. "I know." He paused and glanced back at me before turning back to the road. "Like I said, I'm just – I'm just getting tired."
"Well, get angry," Sam said with an irritated tone. "Both of you!"
Motel Room
Beth's POV
The room was dark as Dean pushed open the door and stepped up to the silhouetted table, dropping his bag on it.
"Ah, home crappy home," Dean complained.
I flipped the light switch behind us as Sam took a few steps forward, and the room flooded with light revealing a familiar intimidating figure.
"Winchesters three," Uriel said with a smirk, looking us over.
"Oh come on!" Dean exclaimed, his brow instantly furrowing into a look of disdain.
"You are needed," Uriel continued, looking straight at me.
"Needed?" I asked, shaking my head and dropping my bag to the ground, closing the door behind us. "We just got back from needed." My sight fell to the dark-haired man in the back of the room, my uncle, my angelic lineage, and images from the dream earlier returned with a vengeance, flashing before me.
"Now, you mind your tone with me," Uriel warned.
"No, you mind your damn tone with us!" Dean snapped, his usual impossible self when it came to the angels, taking a step toward the dark skinned man.
"We just got back from Pamela's funeral," Sam said, advancing to cut Dean off with a warning hand to arm.
"Pamela. You know, psychic Pamela?" I said, looking over the boys' shoulders, the emotions of the day flooding back to wash over me in technicolour.
"You remember her," Dean chimed in, putting his arm around my waist and nodding. "Cas, you remember her. You burned her eyes out. Remember that? Good times! Yeah, then she died saving one of your precious seals. So maybe you can stop pushing us around like chess pieces for five freaking minutes!"
Uriel looked nonplussed. "We raised you out of hell for our purposes," he said softly, unintimidated.
"Yeah, what were those again?" I asked, stepping up between Dean and Sam. "What exactly did you want from Dean?"
"Start with gratitude," Uriel replied with a scowl, causing me to flinch a little.
"Oh she's got gratitude," Dean said with a laugh. "She's about the only one around here who does, so how about you…"
"Dean," Cas cut in from the background. "We know this is difficult to understand."
"And we…" Uriel interrupted with a stern look at Cas. "…don't care." He looked back to us and I felt Dean's arm tighten around me in the same way it always did when he knew we were cornered and facing very few options. I saw Dean's gaze drop to Cas, and followed it, noting how the angel was standing to attention all of a sudden, his eyes turned forward, as if he had just been reprimanded for what? Caring?
"Now, seven angels have been murdered, all of them from our garrison," Uriel said.
"The last one was killed tonight…" I finished, and he stopped to gaze curiously at me.
"How did you…?" Cas asked, stepping forward.
"I guessed," I said, shrugging. "Why else would you be here?"
Dean caught the lie, his fingers digging into the flesh at my hip in warning.
"So what? Is it demons?" He asked, changing the subject. Uriel inclined his head indicating yes.
"How are they doing it?" I questioned, recalling the vivid stab to the angels' throat.
"We don't know," Uriel confessed with a shake of his head.
"I'm sorry," Sam interrupted. "But what do you want us to do about it? I mean, a demon with the juice to ice angels has to be out of our league, right?"
"We can handle the demons, thank you very much," Uriel said snidely.
"Once we find whoever it is," Cas chimed in.
"So you need our help hunting a demon?" I asked, frowning. It didn't sound that hard.
"Not quite," Cas replied, moving to stand next to Uriel. "We have Alastair." My blood stopped running and turned cold just at the mention of the demon's name, and I grimaced against the digging of Dean's fingers as he clutched at my side.
"Great," Dean said calmly, belying his discomfort. "He should be able to name your trigger man."
"But he won't talk," Cas said. "Alastair's will is very strong. We've arrived at an impasse."
Dean's arm fell to his side briefly before he moved to stand behind the dinging chair next to him, leaning on it and then looking up at the angels. "Yeah, well, he's like a black belt in torture," he said. "I mean, you guys are out of your league."
"That's why we've come to his student," Uriel said calmly. "You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we've got." Dean froze, it would have been imperceptible to anyone except Sam or myself, but he did. I could see the little pulse flickering at his throat as his jaw clenched and he looked down at his hands.
"No," I said, shaking my head and taking a step toward Dean, resting my hand on his arm.
"Dean, you are out best hope," Cas said, ignoring my protestations.
"No," I reiterated. "No way. You can't ask him to do this, Cas. Not this." I said, frowning at the angel.
Uriel walked up to us, towering over us by several feet.
"Who said anything about asking?" He said, and just like that, Dean and the angels were gone.
"Damn it!" Sam cursed, as I found my hand resting on thin air.
11 years ago
Dean's POV
I wiped over the hood of the car with the chamois, polishing the finish to a perfect sheen. I didn't hear him approach, but I wasn't surprised when Dad was suddenly standing behind me.
"How'd she go?" He asked, nodding toward the motel room where moments earlier Beth had skipped into the motel room to tell Sam about the driving lesson.
"Uhhh, how did what go?" I asked nonchalantly.
"Come on Dean, I know you both well enough to know that you're teaching Beth to drive," Dad chuckled, rubbing his hand across his chin.
"Uh, yeah," I said, grinning slightly and then leaning back against the car, my arms crossing in front of my chest. "She did good, she's a natural."
Dad smiled and nodded. "I knew she would be."
"What?"
"Listen, why don't I make myself scarce tomorrow, and you can take her out for another drive?" Dad suggested and I found myself wondering what his game was.
"Really?"
"Yeah, I mean the girl has to learn to drive sometime. But she's nervous enough with you, she'll be a wreck with me. Just give her a few runs until her confidence is up, then we can get her doing some of the long drives for practice, as a family."
"Yes, sir," I said, nodding and feeling slightly excited by the idea. I liked when I got to spend time with Beth on our own, without having to come up with a reason to do it.
"Good." Dad said with another nod. "Now make sure you give the car a good polish, don't want to ruin that finish." He turned back toward the motel room just as Beth came bounding back outside, her eyes sparkling and her ponytail swishing behind her head.
As Dad went back inside she sidled up next to me, a smile on her face, and then suddenly she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, her shy smile wavering for just a moment.
"What… what was that for?" I asked, smiling a little coyly back at her.
"For being such a great brother," she said, grinning up at me.
"Eh, don't push it," I countered, rolling my eyes.
"No, really!" She insisted, her eyes watching me intently.
"Don't get too used to it," I smirked. "Tomorrow I might be a complete ass."
Beth shrugged. "Not to me."
My heart stopped for a moment, and I wanted to sigh. One day I'd have to hurt her, I knew that, if we were to keep to Dad's orders. But for now, maybe I could just indulge a little. Reaching out I pulled her toward me with a hand to the back of my neck, her eyes widened with a little panic as I leaned in, placing a kiss on her forehead.
"Next time Dad has to go out, you want to do another drive then?" I asked, my hand still resting on her neck as I moved back a little. She nodded, a smile crossing her face.
"Okay, sis, let's get you driving," I said with a grin.
Present Day
Abandoned Warehouse
Dean's POV
I found myself standing in front of a rusty iron door with a small square window set into it. Through the glass I could see Alastair, my adversary, my teacher, hanging from a star of David inside a devil's trap.
"This devil's trap is old Enochian," Cas said from beside me. "He's bound completely."
"Fascinating," I uttered, feeling the rage rise up inside of me. I was sick and tired of being separated from Beth during moments like this, not only sick of it, but did they not see how I couldn't go through with this? My heart was beating out of my chest and I thought I might vomit at the thought of what I was being asked to do, the horrors I was being asked to relive. I turned away from the sight, shutting it out of my mind. I wouldn't do it. "Where the door?"
"Where are you going?" Cas asked, as I pushed past him, heading for the exit.
"Hitch back to Cheyenne, thank you very much!" I answered, walking past Uriel.
Within seconds I found myself face to face with a wall of angel. Uriel.
"Angels are dying, boy," he said with a warning tone.
"Everybody's dying these days. And hey, I get it. You're all-powerful. You can make me do whatever you want," I replied, turning back to Cas. "But you can't make me do this!"
"This is too much to ask, I know. But we have to ask it," Cas said walking up to face me. There was a haunted look in his eyes, he didn't want to do this. I watched him, seeing the same helplessness I was feeling reflected in his eyes. Slowly, I turned back to Uriel.
"I want to talk to Cas alone."
Uriel's eyes flicked from me to Cas, and there was a warning in his gaze. "I think I'll go seek revelation," he said finally. "We might have some further orders."
"Well, get some donuts while you're out," I quipped and Uriel laughed.
"Ah, this one just won't quit, will he?" He said, looking at Cas. "I think I'm starting to like you boy." He vanished into thin air and I rolled my eyes.
"You guys don't walk enough," I joked to Cas. "You're gonna get flabby." Nothing. I sighed, my joke falling on deaf ears.
"You know I'm starting to think junkless has a better sense of humour than you do," I said with a roll of my eyes.
Cas was nonplussed. "Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison," he answered. "Ask anyone."
I sighed, shaking my head. Poor innocent angels. Walking up to Cas I looked into his blue eyes, noting the strain in them.
"What's going on Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?" I asked, getting straight to the point.
"My superiors have begun to question my sympathies," Cas replied.
"Your sympathies?" I asked, confused.
"I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. Beth. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment." He did an about face, and stared at the wall, the stone cold expression returning to his hard jawline.
"Well, tell Uriel, or whoever…" I said, stepping past him to stare back at the iron door confining Alastair. "You do not want me doing this, trust me."
"Want it, no. But I have been told we need it," Cas replied in an emotionless voice.
There was a burning in my eyes as I thought about the ramifications of what they were asking. "You ask me to open that door and walk through it," I said quietly. "You will not like what walks back out."
"For what's worth," Cas replied. "I would give anything not to have you do this."
I closed my eyes, shutting out the reality that I was in. I could do this, I didn't have a choice. The consequences of not going it were much worse. They could kill me, or toss me back into the Pit. I couldn't do that. I owed it to myself, and to Beth.
At the thought of her, I felt her hand on my shoulder. It was a comfort, and I leaned into it, feeling it support me. That I wasn't expecting. I opened my eyes and turned my head to the side, finding familiar dark eyes and a cheeky smirk.
"Well, if he has to do it, he's not going to do it alone," Beth said, looking back at Cas.
"Beth, what… how?" I questioned, turning to grasp her hips in my hands.
"I hitched a ride with Ezekiel," she said with a grin, inclining her head to the spiky, dark-haired angel.
"Yes, we just had to wait for you to think about Beth to hone in on your location," Ezekiel replied.
"What about Sam?" I asked.
"Only one for the ride," Ezekiel explained. "My angel juice is limited right now."
"You shouldn't be here at all," Cas said, moving toward the angel.
"And I no longer am," he responded, "just setting things right, as much as I can."
With that he vanished and I once again rolled my eyes before letting them settle on my wife.
"You shouldn't be here. You don't want to watch this."
"Dean, you think you're going to get rid of me that easy?" She asked, shaking her head. "No, I'm in this, for better or worse. We do this together, or not at all."
Internal Room
Beth's POV
Dean pushed the cart full of devices he'd gotten from another room ahead of him, a dark cloth covering it in a foreboding manner. The set of his shoulders, the way he couldn't meet my eyes told me everything I needed to know. He was scared. I moved to follow him and found Cas gripping my arm as Dean opened the iron door into the room holding Alastair.
"Beth, you shouldn't go in there," Cas said and I pulled my arm free of his grasp.
"It's Dean you should be worried about," I said quietly, "You send him in there, you send me, end of story." He sighed, and nodded, knowing full well that I was going to argue this until I was blue in the face.
Turning back, I hurried after Dean who had crossed the threshold into the room beyond. Best to get into that room before he thinks to lock me out. But Dean didn't seem to be in any hurry to stop me from joining him. Alastair's eyes never left Dean as the wheeled cart moved slowly forward. As Dean got closer, the demon started to sing, moving somehow within the very chains that were holding him, as if he was dancing a jig. It sent a shudder down my spine. I was thankful that Cas had fixed the demon radar that had once caused me to feel intense nausea around a demon, because I was sure I'd be vomiting by now if he hadn't; Alastair just exuded everything it meant to be a demon.
"Heaven," Alastair started to sing. "I'm in Heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak. I seem to find the happiness I seek, when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek…"
Dean walked back to me, pulling me aside with a strong look and hand to my arm.
"Beth, you shouldn't stay," he said, but I knew from his look that he didn't mean it. "You might not like … you're not gonna like what I'm gonna have to do."
"Hey," I said, reaching up and placing a hand on his cheek. "This is me, I've seen your worst, I watched it all while you were in Hell. I'm not walking away now."
He let out a long sigh and closed his eyes, leaning slightly into my hand. "Just stay back, okay?" He said and I nodded. Alastair continued to sing and dance while this exchange happened and then finally Dean broke away.
He walked over to the cart and pulled the cloth off with slow deliberate movement. I was finally greeted to the sight of a variety of torture implements. Alastair laughed when he saw them, and a precursory glance at Dean revealed that he was doing his best to ignore the demon.
"I'm sorry," Alastair said in his husky voice. "This is a very serious, very emotional situation for you both. I shouldn't laugh, it's just that – I mean, are they serious? They sent you to torture me?" Dean had turned to face Alastair, and for the first time, he spoke.
"You got one chance," Dean said steadily. "One. Tell me who's killing the angels. I want a name."
"You think I'll see all your scary toys and spill my guts?" Alastair asked with a smug look.
"Oh, you'll spill your guts, one way or another. I just didn't wanna ruin my shoes," Dean threatened.
"Oh, yeah." Alastair conceded, looking at the ground with a half-smile.
"Now answer the question," Dean demanded.
"Or what?" Alastair questioned. "You'll work me over? But then, maybe you don't want to. Maybe you're, ah, scared to..." The last bit said in a sing-song tone. He thought he had Dean, he thought he knew us, that we would cave when push came to shove. He didn't know how wrong he was.
"I'm here, aren't I?" Dean asked.
"Not entirely," Alastair said thoughtfully. "You left part of yourself back in the Pit." He watched Dean quietly as we all contemplated this statement. "Let's see if we can get the two of you back together again, shall we? Although, I'm not sure the wife is gonna like it, two's company after all, but three?"
I glared at Alastair as he smiled over at me.
"You're gonna be disappointed," Dean said, walking over to the cart.
"You have not disappointed me so far," Alastair said proudly. "Come on. You gotta want a little payback for everything I did to you. For all the pokes and prods. Hmm? What about what I did to your wife?"
Dean shook his head. "It wasn't her," he said in response.
"No? True. But you didn't know that at the time, did you?" Alastair said, his eyes roaming over my body from head to toe. "All the times she was stripped, and… well you remember."
Dean remained staring at the demon, unresponsive as the blood in my body started to race, thundering behind my ears. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. I wouldn't break when Dean was keeping his cool. Dean had told me about what they put him through using my image, the way he'd had to watch as they raped another soul in my guise. If he could get through this, so could I.
"No?" Alastair asked with a raised eyebrow. "Um… then how about for all the things I did to your Daddy?"
Dean's head snapped up along with my own. John. Oh now it was on.
Motel Room
Sam's POV
It was still dark when Ruby knocked on the door. I had to admit that I wasn't disappointed to see her again, it had been too long.
"I can still smell them," she said, pushing past me into the room. "Seriously, Sam, I'm not exactly dying to tangle with angels again."
"I need you to find out where they took Dean, where Ezekiel took Beth."
"Not sure I see the problem," Ruby said with a raised eyebrow, dropping her bag on the table. "You know they have Alastair strung up six ways from Sunday. Dean cuts himself a slice, Beth watches over him, Al's reduced to a quivering heap, and the good guys get the goods. What's wrong with that?"
"He can't do it," I said, feeling a foreboding in my bones.
"Look. I get it, you don't want him going all torture master again," Ruby said.
"No. I mean, he can't do it," I said, shaking my head. "He can't get the job done. Something happened to him downstairs, I know Beth knows but she's being silent on it. Ruby. He's not what he used to be, he's been relying on Beth for months now, he's not strong enough."
"And you are?" Ruby questioned, looking me over.
I swallowed, staring at the pulse in her neck, feeling that familiar craving wash over me. "I will be." I replied to her smile.
11 years ago
Beth's POV
By the time we were finished with the driving lesson I was certain Dean was going to pass out. I chuckled as I finally pulled the car back into the parking lot, and he jumped out of the passenger door, scurrying around to open my door.
"Great, you did great," he said anxiously as I stepped out of the car. We stopped, just inches apart from each other, the door the only thing separating us in that moment.
"Yeah?" I asked a little breathlessly. "You really think so?"
"Yeah, I really do, you're gonna be a great driver," Dean replied with a smile, his eyes locking with mine and watching me intently.
"Thanks," I replied with a smile. "Well, I've got a great teacher," I flattered.
"Yes, you do," Dean said with a laugh, nodding. I could his breath softly caressing my face and closed my eyes, wanting to just lean in and kiss him. But we shouldn't, we can't.
"Well, it helps to have a big brother to watch over me as I'm learning," I said with a smile, forcing myself away.
Dean's eyes followed me as I moved to lean against the back door of the car. "Yeah, well, you'll always have me to watch over you. Anything you need, you know that," he said.
"Ditto," I replied. "Best friends forever right? There for each other in our darkest moments and all that?"
"Yeah," Dean laughed, leaning on the car door. "And all that."
Abandoned Warehouse
Beth's POV
"I had your pop on my rack for close to a century," Alastair bragged, smiling from Dean to me. I clenched my fist at my side, refusing to rise to the gibe as Dean went about selecting a tool from the cart.
"You can't stall forever," Dean said calmly, appearing a lot more in control than I felt right then.
"John Winchester. Made a good name for himself," Alastair continued as if Dean had said nothing. "A hundred years. After each session, I'd make him the same offer I made you. I'd put down my blade if he picked one up." Alastair's eyes glittered as he watched Dean carefully.
"Just give me the demon's name, Alastair," Dean pushed.
"But he said 'nein' each and every time," Alastair said with a disappointed tone. "Oh damned if I couldn't break him, he was something else, it was like he had something propping him up, keeping him going."
Dean shrugged out of his jacket, his eyes meeting mine briefly as he laid it down.
"I pulled out all the stops," Alastair prattled on. "But John, he was, well, made of something unique. The stuff of heroes. And then came Dean."
"Don't listen to him," I said quietly, as Dean rolled his eyes and took a swig out of a bottle of whiskey.
"Dean Winchester. I thought I was up against it again," Alastair said. "But Daddy's little girl, he broke. He broke in thirty." I laid my hand on Dean's arm, shaking my head.
"It doesn't prove anything…"
"Oh, just not the man your Daddy wanted you to be, huh, Dean?" Alastair pushed.
"Shut up!" I snapped, before I could stop myself. "Just, shut, shut up!"
Dean didn't react, putting the bottle down with an ice cold expression in his eyes.
"Now…" Alastair said with a grin as my husband picked up a silver chalice and filled it from a bottle of holy water. "Now we're getting somewhere. Holy water? Come on," Alastair said sceptically. "Grasshopper, you're gonna have to get creative to impress me."
Dean looked up finally at the demon.
"You know something, Alastair?" Dean asked with a smirk. "I could still dream. Even in Hell. And over and over and over, you know what I dreamt? I dreamt of this moment."
Something in Dean's tone made me shiver, and the impact was not lost on the smug demon tied to the rack before us. He swallowed, watching as Dean picked up a huge needle that I could only imagine had to be used on horses or elephants at some point.
"And believe me," Dean said. "I got a few ideas." He placed the tip of the needle in the holy water and filled the barrel until it was full. Finally, taking it out, he sprayed a little for demonstration before walking over to the now nervous-looking Alastair.
"Let's get started."
I forced myself to watch as Dean inserted the needle into the side of Alastair's neck, injecting the holy water. If Dean could do this, I could damn well watch. Alastair's screams filled the room, and I could almost hear Cas flinch from the other room. This was not humane, this was not pleasant, this was war, and we were stuck in the thick of it.
Dean's POV
"Oh, man, ooh." Alastair was groaning from the tricks I'd just pulled, but I didn't have him, and I knew it. I couldn't let him see that however. I put the needle back on the cart with my other tools, and looked up, my eyes meeting Beth's. Her look said it all, we had nothing.
"Let me know if you want some more," I said in Alastair's direction, my eyes never leaving Beth's. "There's plenty left."
Alastair spluttered and chuckled. "Go directly to Hell," he said. "Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars."
Beth smirked, shaking her head, and I felt the frustration build a little.
With a shake of my own head I pulled out Ruby's knife, looking it over before holding it up in front of the demon. Alastair looked at it and laughed.
"There's that little pig-poker. I wondered where it went," he chuckled. I dipped a ladle into the bowl of holy water before me, and poured it over the blade. Time to get a little more creative.
"Do you really think this is gonna fix you?" Alastair asked. "Give you closure?" I held my breath for a moment. Maybe I did think that. I looked glanced over at Beth and she walked up to me, placing a hand on my cheek.
"Don't listen to him," she whispered, her eyes flicking over to the demon.
"That is sad," Alastair groaned. "That's really sad. Sad… sad…"
"You don't know anything about him," Beth spat at the demon, who responded with a whistle and laugh.
"Oooh she's a feisty one where you're concerned Dean, I always picked her for a bit of a mouse," he goaded.
Before I knew it Beth had deftly unarmed me, the knife taking a shine in her palm as she walked over and drove the knife into his side. There was sickening sizzle as the blessed blade ate into his flesh, and Beth's shoulders trembled with anger.
"Guess you were wrong," she sneered.
"I carved you… into a new animal, Dean." Alastair said, groaning as Beth twisted the knife into his side. His teeth grit and he looked me in the eyes. "There is no … going back."
I stepped up beside Beth, gingerly removing her trembling hand from the blade's handle. I ran my free hand down her back, comforting her and trying to release the tension in her body.
"Maybe you're right," I whispered, taking the blade in hand. "But not it's my turn to carve." I dug the knife in harder, severing some muscle from bone, and the crunching sound was obvious. Alastair whimpered a little, crying out, but he took it well given he'd been the one to teach me that trick.
Motel Room
Sam's POV
Ruby had stretched a map out on the table in front of us, and now she was setting it alight. I felt a rising panic in my gut as I watched the fire spread around the edges of the map until it looked like the entire map was setting the table on fire.
"Relax," Ruby instructed, looking at me. "The fire is our friend. Besides, the only part of the map we need is the "where's Dean?" part," she waited a few moments and then commanded the fire. "Out!"
The flames vanished, leaving only a small section of unburnt map.
"There. Your brother's there," Ruby said. "It's a good thing angels aren't concerned with hiding their dirty business. Not used to being spied on. I mean, who'd be stupid enough to try?"
I swallowed hard, nodding, then looking over at her. "Ruby," I started. "It's been weeks. I need it."
The craving was there, growing with each day. What had started out as a dull ache was now a raging inferno inside of me and I had to have it quenched.
"You don't seem too happy about it," Ruby pouted, raising her dark eyes to me.
"You think I wanna do this?" I asked, shaking my head. "This is the last thing I…." I sat on the bed, feeling the weight of what I was asking settle on my shoulders. Then I remembered Dean and Beth, I was doing this for them.
"But I need to be strong enough," I said, my voice almost breaking. I didn't know what I'd do if Ruby denied me, I needed her. She seemed to sense this as she was moving as I came to a stop. Straddling my lap, she ground her groin against mine.
"It's okay. It's okay, Sammy. You can have it," she said softly, kissing me as her hand wandered down her leg to a sheath tucked into her boot. In a moment she had pulled a knife from within and ran the edge along her arm, blood welling almost instantly.
It pulled me, called me. I suctioned my lips around the wound and drank ravenously from her, feeling the power flow through my body, the rush taking over. I was getting stronger, so much stronger. I could do this for my brother and sister, I could help save us.
Ruby stroked my hair, and it was comforting in these moments where I thought maybe I was turning into the very monster Dean worried about. As if reading my mind, Ruby whispered. "It's okay Sam," voicing the reassurance I needed and stroking my hair. "It's okay." It wasn't, but for a moment, as I sucked that blood into my mouth and swallowed the bitter, metallic taste of it, I wanted to believe her.
Beth's POV
Alastair continued to groan as I watched Dean methodically work at the demon, slicing him and dicing in ways that I'd have never imagined if I hadn't seen them all done to Dean while he was in Hell. I turned back to the cart and there was a flickering light from the other side of the door, reflected in the window as it happened.
I glanced back at Dean, but he was caught up in the work he was doing. It would only take me a moment to check it out. Without any further hesitation I walked over to the door, it swung open as I pushed on it and I was surprised to see a particular red head standing in front of Castiel. If Cas realised I was there he said nothing, not even his eyes sought out mine, as he faced the renegade angel.
"Anna," Cas said, his voice betraying nothing of his feelings.
"Hello, Castiel," she replied in a monotone voice.
"Your human body…"
"It was destroyed," Anna cut in. "I know. But I guess I'm sentimental. Called in some old favours and…"
Alastair elicited another strong cry and I realised holding the door open had made it all the more louder for the angels to hear. Fortunately Anna didn't turn around.
"You shouldn't be here. We still have orders to kill you." Cas said.
"Somehow I don't think you'll try," she answered. "Where's Uriel?"
"He went to receive revelation," Cas answered.
"Right," she smirked, turning around to look at me. Her eyes softened and I hesitated, not sure what I was supposed to do at this point.
"Why are you letting Dean do this?" Anna asked, turning back to Cas.
"He's doing God's work," Cas replied, turning away from Anna.
"Torturing?" Anna asked, looking back at me. "That's God's work?" And her words sunk in hard. She was right, who asked angels to do this? I had been faithful, I had been strong and pious, and they said that had been why Dean was chosen to be raised from perdition.
"Stop him, Cas, please. Before you ruin the one real weapon you have." Anna continued.
"Who are we to question the will of God?" Cas asked.
"Unless this isn't his will," Anna pushed.
"Then where do the orders come from?" I asked, both the angels turning to face me this time.
"I don't know," Anna confessed, shaking her head. "One of our superiors, maybe, but not Him."
I moved out of the room and closed the door behind me, stepping toward the angels as Cas turned to face Anna once again.
"The Father you love," Anna pushed, looking at Cas. "You think he wants this? You think he'd ask this of you?" She glanced at me. "You think this is righteous?"
The screaming continued from the room behind us and I shuddered a little, letting the horror seep into me that I hadn't been able to show around Dean. Cas stared at the table in front of him.
"What you're feeling?" Anna said, stepping up to him. "It's called doubt." She reached out and touched his hand, and Cas peered up into her eyes.
"These orders are wrong and you both know it," she said, looking over at me before turning back to Cas. "But you can do the right thing. You're afraid, Cas. I was too. But together, we can still…"
"Together?" Cas interjected, almost flinching at the words. He yanked his hand away, moving around the table and pushing me back a little toward the door.
"I am nothing like you," he said to Anna. "You fell! Go!"
"Cas…" I said hesitantly, my own doubts starting to come to the surface. What if she was right?
"Go," Cas ordered me, a frown on his face. "Dean needs you in there."
Another scream and that was enough to spur me back into the room, just as Anna vanished, her pleas having fallen on deaf ears.
Dean's POV
Beth had gone to check on something in the other room. But I couldn't focus on that right now. I had to see this through. I pulled the knife out of my latest entry wound as Alastair's head fell forward. Ignoring the blood, I grabbed his chin, forcing his head back. Alastair's eyes met mine as he chuckled.
"Now it's your professionalism that I respect," he muttered. I rolled my eyes, turning away in disgust as I heard Alastair spit out blood on to the floor.
Before he knew what was coming, I grabbed a flask of holy water, spinning on my heel, the sound of the metal floor creaking beneath me. I tossed the water square in his face and he spluttered, the water causing him to gargle blood in his very mouth.
"Who's murdering the angels?!" I demanded as he choked. I felt Beth's presence come back behind me and it settled me for a moment.
Alastair spat out a mouthful of blood and holy water, his eyes bulging. I started to withdraw inside, to the darkness that had been sitting in my stomach since I got out. I pulled away from Beth, throwing another litre of water on him.
"You're just not getting deep enough," Alastair groaned. "Well, you lack the resources. Reality is just, I don't know, too concrete up here." I turned and watched as the salt poured from the container I was now holding into the piping bag I was holding.
"Honestly Dean…" Alastair continued, his voice grating on my last nerve like fingernails across a chalkboard.
"Shut up…" Beth whispered, staring at the blood-spattered demon.
"The whole bloody thing, Dean," he continued, ignoring her. "The reason Lilith wanted you there in the first place…"
"Well, then I'll just make you shut up," I grunted at him, grabbing his chin and squeezing, forcing him to look up at me.
"Lilith really…" Whatever Alastair was going to say was cut off by the sound of his own gargling as I shoved the nozzle of the bag down into his mouth. He tried to scream, but it just gave me the leverage I needed to pour more in.
Beth's POV
I was becoming more and more concerned by the look in Dean's eyes as he continued along this path, but I couldn't let him see that. I needed to be here, to support him, to know that I had his back regardless of how dark this went.
Alastair struggled against the salt, his whole body wrenching and gagging as it was held in place by the chains. He gasped for breath as he spit up yet more blood to join that which was already seeping into the floor beneath our feet.
"Something caught in my throat…" he gasped. "I think it's my throat."
Dean didn't laugh at the demon's attempt at humour, just turned those dead eyes back to him.
"Well, strap in, 'cause I'm just starting to have fun," Dean quipped, moving back to the cart with the implements on it.
"You know," Alastair said, apparently his throat not too bad that he couldn't shut the hell up! "It was supposed to be your father."
I glanced at Dean who was pouring more holy water out of a bottle.
"He was supposed to bring it on. But, in the end, it was you," he said with a chuckle.
"Bring what on?" I asked, my curiosity suddenly piqued.
"Oh, every night, the same offer…" Alastair said, looking over at Dean. "Remember? Same as your father." Dean was busy shaking salt on to Ruby's knife, ignoring him. "And finally you said, 'Sign me up!' Oh the first time you picked up my whip, the first time you sliced into the weeping bitch…"
The images of what I'd seen in Hell, the haunted look in Dean's eyes as he'd grasped that whip in his hand, standing before a crying soul begging to be released. The tiny 'I'm sorry' that had slipped from Dean's mouth as he had done something he thought he never would. Dean didn't seem to hear him, or at the least, he ignored him as he turned back toward Alastair.
"That was the first seal," the demon said, and I felt my heart skip a beat. The what?
Dean didn't react, at least not on the surface, but he'd been with me a long time, I could see in the way he paused for the slightest moment that something had snapped inside of him. Dean stepped closer to Alastair, meeting his gaze straight on.
"You're lying," he said with a smile.
Alastair straightened on the rack and stared deeply into Dean's unflinching eyes. "And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break."
I felt my heart starting to beat faster, recalling something, a long time ago about Dean being a righteous man. The demon. The one who had made the deal with us for Sam's life, she'd said it. Had she known? Had we played right into their hands and given them exactly what they wanted when we made that deal for Sam's life?
The same thoughts must have been running through Dean's mind as he turned away, first smirking at Alastair, but as soon as he was facing away his face showed the shock he was feeling.
"We had to break the first seal before any others. Only way to get the dominoes to fall, right? Topple the one at the front of the line," Alastair said, his voice smug and proud.
I shook my head, hurrying to face Dean, my hands resting on his shoulders as our eyes locked, his starting to brim with tears.
"Don't listen to him, he's a liar," I said, glancing back at the demon. "You all lie."
"When we win, when we bring on the apocalypse and burn this earth down, we'll owe it all to your husband, Beth. To the incredible Dean Winchester."
Dean's eyes fell closed as he fought not to react to what was being said. I blinked, shaking my head again.
"Believe me, son, I wouldn't lie about this," Alastair said. "It's kind of a religious sort of thing with me."
"No," Dean said, closing his eyes for a second before meeting mine again. "I don't think you're lying. But even if the demons do win…you won't be there to see it," Dean finished. Our eyes fell to the knife in Dean's hand and in a heartbeat he had turned to face the demon again.
Alastair grinned smugly at us and in a moment the chains binding him dropped to the floor.
"You should talk to your plumber about the pipes," he said.
I reacted, going to for the salt as Dean swung, his movement almost in slow motion, trying to get at the demon.
Alastair lashed out, his punch landing against Dean's face as I watched the latter crumple to the ground.
"No!" I yelled Alastair turned briefly to throw a hand in my direction. I felt myself lifted, tossing like a ragdoll through the air as I hit the far wall, the wind being knocked from my lungs. Alastair didn't even give me a passing look as he reached down and punched Dean in the face a few more times.
I rolled on to my knees while the demon lifted Dean effortlessly, thrusting him up against the rack and holding him suspended there around the neck. My eyesight wavered from hitting my head, but I pushed myself to my knees, the hard floor beneath me feeling solid and sturdy. Dean's gasps for air were echoing across to me and my heart pounded in my chest.
"Dean…" I muttered, climbing to my feet and taking a few wavering steps in their direction. My hands met with a container of holy water and in a desperation I threw it toward the demon. The water sizzled and popped, but accomplished no lasting damage.
The demon instead turned, and this time I met him with the knife. I'd hurt my arm, I couldn't lift it high enough to hit his arm, but it sank deep into his stomach and I twisted it as I stood face to face with him. Alastair shoved me back, dropping Dean to the ground who collapsed, unconscious.
"You two got a lot to learn…" Alastair said.
"Yeah?" I countered, wiping the blood from the corner of my mouth. "Why don't you teach me something then, asshole!"
Alastair smirked, reaching out for me. I was waiting for it. I ducked under his arm, my hand forming around the hilt of the knife and pulling it out before ramming it home once more – this time in the heart. But nothing happened. The knife sparkled gold for a moment, but did not kill him. Alastair grabbed me around the neck and I thrust forward with my momentum, headbutting him and ramming him into the rack. One, two, three cracks to the face and he spat out blood. But I knew it wasn't going to be good enough, it was like punching a brick wall. I just had to keep him away from Dean long enough for reinforcements to get in here.
The demon laughed and lashed out with a kick, I rolled away and across the floor as he stalked after me. I just had to stay ahead of him, keep moving. Another kick which I barely avoided, then he grabbed my hair, dragging me to my feet and then throwing me back against a wall. I kicked back as he closed in on me, my spine braced by the wall, and I felt my ankle give.
Crying out in pain, I still managed to force him back a little, throwing my full body weight at the demon and punching him twice before he rolled me off him. I didn't know where it hurt more, but the pain of getting kicked in the gut brought all manner of memories back as I grunted, feeling myself lifted off the floor. Another kick and I couldn't stop myself, I was tumbling, rolling across the hard cement as he landed a third boot to my ribs.
"Ahh!" I cried out, whimpering as he grabbed me around the throat, holding me against the wall.
"Just a preview, my dear. So I'll see you, and your husband, back in class, bright and early, Monday morning!"
I could barely think straight, the breath leaving my body, spots flashing before my eyes. In a moment I telepathically sent a cry for help. "Cas!"
The angel appeared almost immediately and as Alastair turned to face the angel, he must have let me go. I was falling, that much I knew, I sinking, and then I hit something. Searing pain shuddered through my body as everything else turned black.
Dean's POV
I woke up just in time to see Beth fall to the ground. I struggled to catch my breath as Castiel fought to contain the escaped demon. All I could see was the matted dark hair across Beth's face, and I knew I had to get to her.
The knife was sticking out of Alastair's chest, but even that wasn't slowing him down. Alastair's smug smile could have lit up the room.
"Well, almost." He said with a grin, as Cas' gaze fell to the knife. "Looks like God is on my side today."
Cas didn't blink, lifting a hand and I watched the knife twist in Alastair's chest as I pulled myself toward Beth. The demon grunted, grasping the knife and pulling it from his chest, tossing it away before it could do more harm.
My mind was on getting to Beth, but I could barely move. I didn't know how we were going to get out of things this time. Like two bulls running at each other, the demon and angel charged.
The pair of them fought, each getting in a couple of good punches, Alastair getting the upper hand. He grabbed the trench coat the angel was wearing and pounded Castiel against the wall, choking him the same way he'd been choking me.
"Well, like roaches, you celestials…" He complained. "Now, I really wish I knew how to kill you… But all I can do is send you back to Heaven."
Alastair started to chant in Latin, and a blue light appeared in Castiel's eyes and mouth, like when we performed an exorcism on demons.
"God dammit," I cursed, trying to lift myself up, but I could barely move. I wasn't strong enough, I couldn't do this. Suddenly everything went black.
11 years ago
Dean's POV
"Sammy look out!" Beth called out as a part of the house came crashing down around us. She grabbed our brother and pulled him out of the way, both of them rolling to safety as I jumped to my feet, facing the ghoul before me. I twisted the machete in my hand and snarled at it.
"Come on, give me all you've got," I said, watching as the man's eyes narrowed and he charged.
"Dean!" I heard Beth's voice call out as the ghoul hit me, moving faster than I anticipated. I dropped the machete and took the ghoul with me, swinging out around and rolling several times. He had me pinned beneath him, but I wasn't letting that stop me. Lashing out, I punched him one, two, three times and each time his head snapped back with a resounding crack. But it wasn't going to be enough.
Suddenly there was a zinging as metal flashed through the air and hit bone. A warm spray of blood hit me across the face and I flinched just barely visibly, closing my eyes for a moment as the head of the ghoul rolled to the floor beside me.
As I pushed the body of the newly dead from me I looked up to see Beth smiling above me.
"Saved you," she said, reaching out a hand and pulling me to my feet.
"Yeah, yeah…" I muttered, flashing her a little smile just the same. "You got lucky."
"Pffft, lucky my ass, this here is skill!" She said with a grin, spinning her machete in a few circles.
"Sammy you ok?" I asked, looking over at our brother. That wall coming down had been close.
"Yeah," Sam said, nodding and crossing his arms.
"Let's get to Dad," I said, picking up my machete from the floor and walking toward the door. "That wall didn't come down by itself… good thing you were there Beth."
"Oh Sam can take care of himself," Beth said confidently, throwing him a smile.
"Yeah… I don't need you guys Dean, I'm just as good as you two." Sam said. I smirked.
"Yeah, sure," I said with a chuckle. Turning back toward the way Dad had gone, I shook my head. I couldn't imagine a day where Sam wasn't going to need us to back him up.
Sam's POV
Things weren't good by the time I arrived. Both Dean and Beth lay unconscious, sprawled across the floor, and Castiel was pinned to the wall, Alastair starting to exorcise him. I reached out with the newfound power within me and I felt the force slam him against the brick wall. He was pinned.
"Stupid pet tricks…" Alastair groaned at me, rolling his eyes.
"Who's murdering the angels? How are they doing it?" I demanded.
"You think I'm gonna tell you?" Alastair asked.
I smirked. "Yeah, I do," I answered. With that power pumping through my veins I reached a little harder, crushing the demon within its body. Alastair's eyes rolled to white and he started to choke.
"How are the demons killing angels?" I asked again.
Alastair grunted and spat out a breath. "I don't know!"
"Right," I snorted.
"It's not us…" Alastair groaned out, bones sounding like they were crunching as I squeezed psychically just a little harder on him. "We're not… doing… it…"
I glanced at Cas who looked as surprised. "I don't believe you," I replied.
"Lilith…is not… behind this!" Alastair insisted. "She wouldn't kill… seven angels…" He spat again, groaning as I pushed further. "Oh, she'd kill a hundred," he said with a laugh. "A thousand."
I stopped. He was right. Alastair leaned against the wall panting like a rabid dog.
"Oh, go ahead," he groaned. "Send me back, if you can."
I was going to go one better. "I'm stronger than that now," I said with a raised eyebrow. "Now I can kill."
The realisation of what I had said seemed to sink in as I once again reached out my hand, this time I wouldn't stop, this would be the last time this demon laid a finger on either Dean or Beth. Gold light started to flare inside of the demon and he screamed, a horrid, high pitched squeal that echoed through the room because his body collapsed to the floor, drained and dead. I stepped back, my breath coming in short bursts, I'd done it, I'd killed a demon. Castiel was watching me with a look of horror on his face, and then Dean coughed.
"Dean!" I said, rushing to kneel beside him.
Dean's POV
"Sammy…" I grunted, coming back to just as I saw Castiel disappear like the wind.
"I gotcha," Sam said, grabbing my arm and helping me sit up.
"Beth…" My eyes were instantly drawn to the dark haired woman unconscious not ten feet away from me. "Beth!" Ignoring the pain inside of me, I crawled the distance to her. She was so limp when I rolled her into my arms.
"Baby… baby wake up!" But her head just lolled to the side. I looked up at Sam urgently. "911, now!"
"Beth, don't leave me," I whispered, kissing her forehead. It felt cold and clammy, and she was covered in bruises starting to form, blood splattered across her face. "Don't leave me…"
I don't know how long it took, but it seemed like an eternity before Sam was back.
"Dean, they're on their way," Sam said, kneeling beside me, his eyes in a panic.
"Where's Cas?!" I demanded, looking around for the angel.
"I don't know," Sam said, shaking his head. "I don't know, he just left."
"Left?! He's the reason she's here in the first place! So help me if she doesn't pull through…"
"Dean, she's strong, she'll be okay," Sam said, grasping my shoulder.
Beth's breathing was shallow, but at least she was breathing. The wailing of the ambulance sounded and I grabbed her, stumbling with the weight.
"Here," Sam said, taking her from my arms. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah…" I muttered, nodding. I grabbed the knife lying on the ground, tucking it into my pants. "Let's hurry."
2 hours later
Beth's POV
It wasn't looking so good for me. I was lying in a bed, heavily bandaged and breathing through a tube, an IV drip attached to my arm. Sam was sitting next to me while Dean paced the end of the room, limping on a twisted ankle.
Suddenly I felt a presence beside me and turned to see Castiel standing next to me.
"Beth…" he said in his monotone voice.
"Where have you been?" I asked, staring at my battered body on the bed.
"Where the hell is Cas?" Dean asked, as if he'd heard the very question I asked. He flopped down next to me in a chair, reaching out for my hand and squeezing it between his own. "Come on Beth, wake up."
"Dean…" I whispered, turning to Cas. "Get in there, heal my body. Miracle, Cas."
"I can't," Cas said sadly, looking at me.
"What do you mean, you can't? You and Uriel, you put Dean in that room, you put me in there!" I frowned at him, showing my clear displeasure. It was one thing to pull us in when they needed us, to separate us, put us at risk, that was hardly fair.
"Beth…"
"What the Hell Cas? You lot can't even keep a simple devil's trap together?" I muttered, crossing my arms in front of me.
"I don't know what happened. That trap… it shouldn't have broken. I am sorry." Cas replied, looking at me with his bright blue eyes.
"This whole thing was pointless," Sam said in disgust, and I turned to look at him.
"What is he saying?" I asked, looking at Cas. "Why was it pointless?"
"The demons aren't doing this," Sam said to Dean, who looked over at our brother. "Something else is killing the angels."
"Is that true?" I asked, spinning to face Cas. "Is he right?"
"Perhaps Alastair was lying," Cas said.
"Yeah, well, we don't know that for sure. Alastair could have been lying," Dean said in perfect synchronicity.
"No, he wasn't," Sam said adamantly. I gaped, looking back at Cas, who was starting to look distressed.
"Cas, you need to heal me, you can't leave me here, I won't go with the reaper when it shows up. I'm not leaving Dean." I said. Cas sighed and nodded, tapping me on the forehead.
"Rest, Beth. When you wake up, you'll be with Dean again," he said, and the room started to tremble like watercolours washing down a canvas. I felt myself fading, and then everything went white again.
Children's Playground
Castiel's POV
I found Uriel sitting on a familiar park bench, one we often used to communicate at. I was standing in a park, with a grey sky overhead.
"Castiel, I received revelation from our superiors," Uriel said from his seat on the park bench. "Our brothers and sisters are dying and they… they want us to stop hunting the demon responsible." He sounded upset, and distressed by the new orders, something I hadn't seen in some time from him.
I sat on the bench next to him, my shoulders feeling heavy and burdened.
"Something is wrong up there," Uriel said. "I mean, can you feel it?"
"The murders. Maybe they aren't demonic," I started, looking at my brother. "Sam Winchester said the demons had nothing to do with it."
"If not the demons, what could it be?" Uriel asked, looking at me in anger.
"The will of Heaven," I suggested, looking over. "We are failing, Uriel. We are losing the war. Perhaps the garrison is being punished."
It didn't make a lot of sense, but it was all I could think of. Even at the Third Temple when we were attacked, Ezekiel had said that there was something more going on. He'd sent angels directly to Michael for assistance and backup. Something was happening in Heaven, Uriel was right.
Uriel seemed to be wondering the same thing. "You think our Father would…."
"I think maybe our father isn't giving the orders anymore," I interrupted. "Maybe there is something wrong."
Uriel stood up suddenly, looking up to the sky. "Well I won't wait to be gutted!" He vanished suddenly, leaving me curious about just what was going on.
Several hours later, darkness had fallen. I was standing under a streetlight in a deserted street, pondering my options.
"Anna," I called out. "Anna, please." The streetlight flickered above me, and I knew she had arrived. I turned, the redhead standing behind me, her arms hanging loosely at her sides.
"Decided to kill me after all?" She asked.
"I'm alone," I replied.
"What do you want from me, Castiel?" Anna asked.
"I'm considering disobedience," I said, the words sticking in my throat.
Anna nodding, considering what I had to say. "Good."
"No, it isn't," I said, shaking my head. "For the first time, I feel…" I couldn't even finish the sentence. I felt so much, more than I had ever felt, and it was frightening.
"It gets worse," she said, walking toward me. "Choosing your own course of action is confusing, terrifying." She came to a stop in front of me and put her hand on my shoulder. I looked at the hand, and she dropped it, rejection in her eyes.
"That's right. You're too good for my help. I'm just trash. A walking blasphemy," she sneered, turning and walking away.
"Anna," I said, and she stopped in her tracks.
"I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do."
She turned around to look at me, dark eyes watching. "Like the old days?" She asked. "No. I'm sorry. It's time to think for yourself." And then she was gone, leaving me alone again. I sighed, my eyes falling to a drinking fountain next to me, and a pipe that was sticking out of it. Just how had the devil's trap broken in the first place?
In almost an instant, I was back inside the prison room where we had held Alastair. I moved to the devil's trap, examining it, and the chalk on the floor where there was a broken line. Looking up a pipe seemed to be dripping. I reached out a hand and turned the faucet off without even needing to touch it. Hell, I wouldn't have even needed to be in the room to do that, and that disturbed me. I sent out a mental call and immediately the sound of my brother's arrival echoed in the room and Uriel was suddenly standing in front of me.
"You called?" He said, walking in front of me. "What do you say, Castiel? Will you join me? Will you fight with me?"
"Strange," I answered. "Strange how a leaky pipe can undo the work of angels when we ourselves are supposed to be the agents of fate."
"Alastair was much more powerful than we had imagined," Uriel replied, his brow furrowing.
"No. No demon can overpower that trap. I made it myself," I said, shaking my head. "We've been friends for a long time, Uriel. Fought by each other's sides, served together away from home, for what seems like… forever. We're brothers, Uriel. Pay me that respect. Tell me the truth."
Uriel didn't even blink. "The truth is, the only thing that can kill an angel..." My eyes fell to Uriel's angel sword, as the silver slide out of Uriel's sleeve into his hand. "…is another angel."
"You," I whispered, shocked.
"And you broke the devil's trap, set Alastair on Dean, on Beth?" I asked.
"Alastair should never have been taken alive. Really inconvenient, Cas. Yes, I did turn the screw a little. Alastair should have killed Dean and Beth and escaped, and you should have gone on happily scapegoating the demons," Uriel said.
"For the murders of our kin?"
"Not murders, Castiel. No. My work … is conversion. How long have we waited here? How long have we played this game? By rules that make no sense?" Uriel asked.
"It is our father's world, Uriel," I said adamantly, turning away in disguest. What was his game here?
"Our father? He stopped being that, if he ever was, the moment he created them. Humanity, his favourites. This whining, puking larvae," he said with contempt.
"Are you trying to convert me?" I asked, turning back.
"I wanted you to join me. And I still do. With you, we can be powerful enough to…"
"To…?" I asked.
"To raise our brother," Uriel replied.
The realisation of what he was saying hit me like a tonne of bricks. He couldn't mean it, surely he was mad?
"Lucifer." I stated.
"You do remember him?" Uriel asked, walking past me, looking up as if in a daydream. "How strong he was? How beautiful? And he didn't bow to humanity. He was punished for defending us. Now, if you want to believe in something, Cas, believe in him."
"Lucifer is not God," I replied.
"God isn't God anymore. He doesn't care what we do. I am proof of that," Uriel replied like a mad man.
"But this? What were you gonna do, Uriel? Were you gonna kill the whole garrison?" I asked.
"I only killed the ones who said no." This didn't sound good at all. Who had turned? I knew the ones who hadn't, they were dead. "Others have joined me, Cas. Now, please, brother, don't fight me. Help me. Help me spread the word. Help me bring on the apocalypse. All you have to do is be unafraid."
"For the first time in a long time… I am," I said. I stilled myself, and then in a swift movement, I flung my energy at Uriel, punching him and sending him flying backward through the brick wall at his back. Uriel stood up, and moved back, hitting me, and we struggled back and forth, exchanging a right hook here, a left jab there. Uriel threw me across the room but it was nothing, I rolled back to my feet and walked toward him, throwing another punch as he fell back on to a box. Uriel grabbed a metal bar, and swung, the metallic ring of it hitting me echoed through the room as I fell to the ground.
The room was spinning. I had no weapon to kill him. What was I going to do?
"You can't win, Uriel," I said, feeling blood starting to trickle down along my nose. "I still serve God."
Uriel took a fistful of my hair, yanking my head back. "You haven't even met the man!" He sneered. "There is no will," Uriel said, striking me again. "No wrath," another punch sent pain rippling through my face. "No God!" He raised his fist and just as I wondered if this would be my turn to fall, like my brothers and sisters before me, the silver of our swords stabbed through Uriel's throat from behind.
I looked up to see the spikey hair of Ezekiel flash black in the darkened room. "Maybe," he said softly. "Maybe not. But there's still me," he said, pulling Uriel's sword from our brother's throat. Ezekiel moved to my side, helping me stand as the blinding white light flared in Uriel's eyes and mouth. It exploded forth and out of the building in a split second, and then it was gone. All that was before us was Uriel's dead body, his wings seared in a blackened outline across the devil's trap. Our brother was dead.
Hospital
Beth's POV
True to his word, I awoke some time later to immense pain, but I was alive. Dean was passed out in the chair next to me, his head resting on the mattress beside me, his arms splayed across my legs and under his head. I lifted my left hand and tentatively ran it through his hair.
"Dean…"
He stirred, not waking completely, so I moved my hand again. "Dean!"
With a startle Dean pulled back, looking up at me with weary green eyes. "Beth!" he said, moving close. "Oh God… oh thank god," he said, even though I knew the words to mean very little to him.
"You're all right," he whispered, pulling me into him, holding my head to his firm chest. I smiled, slowly wrapping my arms around his waist.
"I'm okay," I agreed, reveling in the warmth of his body.
His chest made way for lips as he uncharacteristically peppered my face with soft kisses and looked at me with all the fear I knew he had to have been feeling.
"Are you okay?" He whispered, his hands caressing along my jaw and neck, his eyes searching me over.
"Yeah, yeah…" I said with a nod, noting that little movement hurt, but I would survive.
Suddenly there was the flapping sound of wings and Castiel was standing next to us.
"Are you all right?" He asked, looking at me.
"No thanks to you," Dean muttered, glaring at the angel.
Castiel ignored his comment, turning to look at Dean. "You need to be more careful."
"You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap," Dean snapped in reply.
"That's not what I mean," Cas replied. "Uriel is dead."
"Was it the demons?" I asked, not feeling nearly as sad about Uriel's death as I should have.
"It was disobedience. He was working against us," Cas replied. My thoughts fell to the last few missions I'd been on with Ezekiel as his host.
"Is it true?" Dean asked, looking up at Cas. "Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?" There was a horror in his voice, a sadness and resignation. He already believed he did.
"No…" I said, shaking my head and regretting it almost immediately.
"Yes," Cas contradicted me, looking saddened. "When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to Hell, and we fought our way to get to you before you…"
"Jump started the apocalypse," Dean finished, his voice almost breaking.
"Even with me going in a back door with Beth… we were too late," Cas said.
"Why didn't you just leave me there, then?" Dean asked.
"I promised Beth," Cas said, looking at me in the bed.
"It's not blame that falls on you Dean, it's fate," Cas continued, sitting down in the chair on the other side of the bed. "The righteous man who begins it, is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it."
"Lucifer?" Dean asked, emptiness showing in his eyes. "The apocalypse? What does that mean?" He asked. Cas didn't reply, looking away.
"Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch!" Dean snapped, drawing Cas's attention back to us. "What does that mean?!"
"I don't know," Cas answered.
"Bull!" Dean snapped.
"I don't," Cas insisted. "Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you."
Dean's voice was wavering. He sunk back down into the chair beside me, his hand grasping at mine, shaking a little although no one would have seen.
"Well, then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big." He said, much to my surprise. "Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not—I'm not strong enough."
"No… Dean…" I protested, squeezing his hand. He shook his head, tears glittering beneath his eyelashes.
"It's true Beth," he said, looking at me. "It's true. I'm not strong enough. I couldn't protect you in there, I couldn't protect myself… how am I going to stop a whole apocalypse?"
He looked over at Cas, shaking his head.
"Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me." Dean said, a single tear running down his cheek. In that moment there was more despair in Dean than I'd seen in a lifetime. He hadn't expressed just how broken he was until now, but in one fell swoop we were pushing the odds. Destiny was in front of us, how on earth were we going to see this through? There was only one answer I had for that, we would do it together.
11 years ago
Dean's POV
I watched from a distance as the rolling waves in front of Beth washed back out to sea. She stood, ankle-deep in the sand as I watched that undertow pull the flowers she'd laid down in the water out to see. I watched as the sun sank beneath the horizon to produce a painting of pinks, purples and reds.
Three years had passed, and not a day went by that she didn't miss him. She would talk about those caring eyes, and that smile the told her everything would be all right. I had done my best to ease that ache in her heart, and two days ago we'd celebrated my birthday and it had been one of the best I'd had yet. Somewhere I'd hoped maybe this year would be different.
Yet here we were. The sunset replacing the promise of sunrise, and plummeting Beth into a darkness she rarely allowed herself to feel. As if on cue, as the skies turned dark purple, I started alert as she suddenly fell to her knees in the waves, a crying pitch escaping the previously silent girl.
I raced toward her, my heart skipping a beat, and before she could protest, I pulled her into my arms. This girl I knew I loved. This girl that I had loved for months now. She didn't fight, quite the opposite, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me close as I folded her into my arms.
"It's okay Bethie," I whispered into her hair, tucking her head under my chin. "It's all right."
The water was cold, but I didn't move us. Instead I held her, letting the tears come, letting her sob into my chest as she released the grief that was always with her.
"I can't do this Dean," she whispered. "I'm not strong enough."
"Yes you are," I replied, kissing her forehead. "You are, and I'm right here. It's going to be all right. I promise."
She nodded silently, tears still threatening to spill from her eyes again. I kissed her eyelids quickly, before I could convince myself not to, and she let out a shuddering sigh.
"You're strong enough Beth. You're stronger than me. I'll get you through this, together." And in that moment I knew I'd never leave her, I'd be here until the end.
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Song for this chapter is: "Demons" by Imagine Dragons
A lot going on for me right now. Work restructuring, taking on more hours to see that through, plus extra work commitments outside of my actual paid employment – this one more my community work, and keeping me very busy.
I do appreciate all the PMs I get from everyone. I can't always reply, especially if it's just a "hope you're well, update soon" but don't see that as a negative, it just means I'm busy. If anything, I SHOULD probably be putting this on hiatus, but I don't want to. So updates will be slow, but I won't stop. Thank you for your patience.
Next up is an original, which might take me a while to get out, but hopefully not two months!
I'm also kind of dreading the new SPN season, and what's happening with Dean, but I have a few ideas around how I'm going to write in Beth for it, and it should be fun! It's not easy planning that far ahead, but I think I'm getting there.
I'm also thinking of getting involved in the National Novel Writing Month which may either be Jefferson's story getting told, since it will be pretty much completely original writing. OR I will be putting my efforts into my own novel that has been sitting on the back burner for a while. So, there might not be much of an update HERE for November. Check out my account over at FictionPress , username belladonna78 . There's nothing there yet, but there will be when I get a start on it, so follow for updates!
Finally, a big thank you to all the new readers who have sent in reviews and comments – I LOVE THEM! Also to my regular readers, THANK YOU for your PATIENCE! I haven't given up on this story, and want to see it through to the end, I just have a lot going on right now. Please leave a review, you know it totally makes my day!