*Scratches back of neck* Yeah, I know it is Friday.

I don't want to do it but I will be changing the updating on Thursday to Friday for the time being. Just I am at uni all day on Thursday and I don't really like updating off my phone.

I have decided that next week this is going to go on to being updated three times a week. Hopefully this will get me writing.

If any of you are Doctor Who fans, I have two stories going to be published next weeks as well so keep your eyes open for those.

Please enjoy this chapter. :)

The Thoughts of a Breakup

Merlin jumped off his horse and ran up the stairs. Arthur and Morgana watched him with concern. He had been silent ever since they had left the Castle of Fryien and it was starting to worry them. He had hardly eaten as well, he just pushed the stew around the bowl.

"I will go and see Hunith." Morgana said. "I will see if she can get something out of him."

"I don't know what could be up with him. But are you alright? You have been quiet as well."

"I am fine."

It wasn't the truth, it was so far from the truth. Everything that Morgause had told her before she had been saved by him and Merlin just went around her head. The fact that Morgause said that she was her sister just blew her mind. More than the fact the Daegal, Merlin's uncle, could have killed her father. She had no idea if she should believe Morgause. A big part of her didn't want to believe her. But then she had little idea of who to ask to know if this was right.

"Gaius can I have a word?" Morgana said.

Gaius looked up from his book. "Of course my child."

Morgana took the seat next to him and sighed. "I don't know who else to ask and I hoped that you could shed some light on something I was told. Morgause was at the Castle of Fryien and she told me that she was … she said that our father was killed by Daegal. I am not asking if you know if that is true about Daegal but is Morgause my sister?"

The physician sighed. "It was never meant to be kept from you Morgana. Your parents wanted you to know but after your mother's death, it was your father's choice to tell you. He was going to. I know that. But he wanted you to know when you were older."

She stood up.

"What part of it is troubling you?"

"The Knights of Medhir, the spell that she put on me. The only way to stop that was for me to die. Why would my own sister do … do something like that? She wants me on her side and I think that she hoped that if she told me that, I would run over. We want the same thing. I cannot understand why she cannot see that Merlin is our best bet at it."

Gaius stayed silent for a while, so much so that Morgana wasn't sure whether he would reply or not.

"She would have had a time where she could have been herself and explored her magic. You have lived in fear of just the knowledge of your powers. To her, maybe she doesn't see that you understand what it is like. She survived the purge. Maybe she believes that because you have lived through the aftermath, you don't understand the need for magic to return. I have no idea Morgana but I do agree, she would be better off as an ally rather than an enemy."

Merlin racked his brains. There was something desperately wrong. It had been playing on his mind ever since the man came with the information that Odin knew of his father's plans. Other than the council, the only people that knew of the plans were Arthur, Morgana and Gwen. They had tried to keep the news of it low key because they didn't want to get anybody's hopes up. The council pushed the announcement of the legality of magic back as far as they could.

He could remember when his father had lost his temper and slammed his hand down on the table, telling them that he was going to announce it the next day as planned. After the council had be dismissed and left, Balinor had shaken his hand and said that it hurt when he did it.

It was realistically the last time he was with him.

It still saddened him that his father was gone but he knew that he should rejoice in the fact that he did know him and that he did have a year with him. If Uther had caught him when he was in Ealdor, Merlin would never have met him.

So how could have Odin have found out about it?

He must have known for sometime because he had to hire someone and to get him to Camelot. But then Balinor had been King for a year, he could have started to plan once he had heard the news of the Eorðdracas being back on the throne.

Merlin tried to bury himself in the thought of that rather than what Morgause had told Morgana.

He had no idea if it was right but if it was, Morgana wouldn't want to be around him. His uncle was responsible for her father's death.

He lent back in his chair and sighed loudly.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to know the truth. He wanted to know why someone was out to kill him. He just … He didn't want the weight of the crown to crush him. He didn't want the weight of his destiny to do the same. He felt so young, like a boy in a man's world. He was inexperienced in all of this.

And as the doubt started to sink in, Merlin thought that it may not have been best to meet his father.

"Merlin."

The young king looked up with watery eyes to see his mother, face full of concern. "I can't do it. I will end up like him."

"Merlin, what are you on about?"

"I don't know what I am doing half the time. You tell me that I am doing a good job. Arthur tells me that he would make the same decisions as I do. Morgana tells me that everything will be alright in the end. But what if I don't believe what you say?"

"Oh Merlin." Hunith said and opened her arms for him.

He didn't care that he was 20 and a king. He felt like he was five. He got up and walked into them, placing his arms underneath hers and his head on her shoulder.

"I just don't want to fail everyone."

"And you won't."

Merlin was walking the corridor from his chambers to the gardens. After his mother had held him while he cried, she had mentioned that some fresh air might do him some good. He hadn't protested as he usually did. He knew it would help but it wouldn't stop the thoughts that he was having. Nothing would.

"Merlin?"

He had been so lost in his thoughts that he had realised that Morgana had entered the corridor. It was the only person that he didn't want to run into.

"Morgana." He prayed that his eyes didn't look red.

"Are you okay?"

"Everything is fine." He said, giving her a smile.

"You can tell me when something is up."

"Nothing is up."

"You were silent for the whole trip back. You didn't eat. I know something is up and … I have a small suspicion that it has something to do with me. Are you afraid I am now on Morgause's side or what? Please tell me."

Merlin sighed loudly. "I understand if you … don't wish to court me any more."

"Why wouldn't I want to court you?"

"I heard what Morgause said. About my uncle killing your father. I do understand Morgana."

He didn't stay for her reply. It would only break his heart more than it already had done.