Guest Requested: overprotective!sirius fic for when fem!harry starts dating

(There is no attack on Mr. Weasley. Also made Sirius a bit loopy. And added Brotherly!Twins )

Life was… okay for Sirius Orion Black. He was out of Azkaban, he was reasonably sane (and ignoring anything Remus had to say about the fact), and his Goddaughter didn't hate his guts. On the other hand, he was a fugitive (and couldn't even use this fact to pick up pretty witches!), couldn't leave his hated house, his precious Goddaughter couldn't live with him, and she was believed to be a liar by the majority of the Wizarding World.

Obviously life had been better for Sirius.

But Sirius couldn't let those thoughts depress him. His angelic little Goddaughter was coming to spend the Holidays with him! (And Moony and the Weasleys but mainly him because it was his house). He could tell he stories and she could talk about her time at Hogwarts and he could give her the awesomest Christmas present ever! (Wait, do 15 year old girls still like ponies*? Maybe he should stick with communication mirrors?)

The door swung open with a screech from Mrs. Black and Sirius practically raced to the door. A he arrived, his blood turned to ice from hearing one of the worst things a father figure can hear.

"Harri's got a boyfriend, Harri's got a boyfriend!" Fred and George chanted. Harri's face was redder than George's hair.

"Boyfriend?" Sirius growled. His Precious goddaughter can't date until she's married! He and James strictly agreed on this on her first birthday (even though Lily laughed at us and Remus shook his head at our ideas)!

"Sirius!" Harri squealed. She ran over to him and gave him a hug. Sirius hugged back, despite the thoughts of ripping some boy to shreds flew through his minds.

"What's this about a boyfriend?" Sirius growled, tightening his hold on his sweet little goddaughter.

"Sirius," Harri dragged out his name with a small laugh. Sirius' heart panged; Lily used to do that too, "Relax! Ron was just telling everyone how Colin Creevey came up and asked me if he could owl me over break. The guy is more like an annoying cousin that anything else." Sirius' grip loosened. Good. There was still time to ship Harri to a nunnery (wait, don't they burn witches? Damn it, new plan!)

"If it had been Terry Boot asking, you would have been tripping over your robes to agree." Ron teased.

"RONALD BILLIUS WEAS LEY!" Harri screamed, (waking up Mrs. Black again, who added her own screeches to the mix) with an even redder face than before.

Sirius' heart fell into his stomach once more. His precious, angelic, innocent, little goddaughter LIKED A BOY! Boys are evil creatures who only want one thing! And he's be killed by James in the afterlife if he let a boy ANYTHING like he had been anywhere near Harri.

" Fred, George, I need to speak to you, NOW!" Sirius barked, releasing his goddaughter and stomping into the next room."

After the duo walked in, Sirius caste anti-listening charms and a few locks on the door. He turned to the twins.

"You see Harri as another sister, correct?" Sirius asked.

"Of course!"

"We do our best,"

"To prank and watch,"

"Over her as much,"

"As we do for,"

"Our dear Ginny!" They chorused. (Sirius wondered how they did that? He, James and Remus could have driven the professors NUTS!)

"Okay, then I need your assistance a VERY important matter. You will need to scheme, plan, and sabotage like NEVER before!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Are we pranking Snape?" Asked Fred.

"Or McGonagall?" inquired George.

"Or Umbitch?" begged Fred.

"Or Dumbledore?" questioned George.

"No, no, no! I need you to do something bigger than pranking –but it will involve pranking of course- something bigger than that!" Sirius insisted.

"What could that be?" Question Fred.

"I need your help to protect my precious goddaughter from the evils of boys!" Sirius shrieked. Fred and George looked at each other before turning back to Sirius.

"But we,"

"Already,"

"Do that," The two explained. Sirius shook his head.

"Boys, I know Hogwarts hasn't changed that much since I've been there. We all know that while some dating happens in Third or Fourth year, Fifth year is when the boys really start going after the ladies! I became the player I used to be in my Fifth year. You have to step up your game, make sure EVERY boy knows that Harri is off limits." Sirius preached. George and Fred exchanged nervous looks.

"But we have to be careful! We can't do too much to the boys or else it will get back to Harri." George explained.

"She won't be happy that we are messing with her dating life. Plus, she's really good at defense." Fred told Sirius.

"We don't want to end up as testing dummies for her spell casting." George added.

"Well, then set someone else up for the fall, like Malfoy or something. He's always up to something and Harri will be quicker to blame him than you two." Sirius offered. Fred pulled George to the side and they began to discuss their options. They come to an agreement and turn to Sirius.

"We may have some reasons to test certain new projects on boys who look at Harri the wrong way, if we were to get a little funding and a man to help up get potions ingredients a bit easier." George offered. Sirius smirked.

"And someone to distract your mother while you make new ones over break, I'd wager?" Sirius asked. Fred smiled.

"Well, if you're offering, we'll take it!"

"Ask Mum I Harri looks a bit too skinny to her. That'll set her on a path to fatten her up and rant your eat off." George explained.

"Alright! I'll get you the money tomorrow." Sirius promised. He shook both their hands and undid the spells on the door.

"We have one question though," Said Fred.

"What?"

"What will you do once we graduate?" Asked George.

Sirius turn pale. "Shit!"

Just when he thought he had it all planned out!

*For a lovely story about Sirius freaking out over a Horse related present to Fem!Harry, please see Would She Like Pink? by Hatheny Lurey Dralaw s/7188346/1/Would-She-Like-Pink