A/N Hi Guys thanks for reading, hope you enjoy this one, again alot of smush and drabble but i had fun writting it, and sorry its so long i didnt notice until i finshed fixing up for this, THANKS AGAIN

O/N I dont own CSI

POST EPISODE GRAVE DANGER; SEASON 5 EPISODE 25

After Nick was found Sara walked through the lab looking for Grissom, she wanted to find him, make sure he ok, she knew this case had affected him on a level that he had never reached before and she was worried about him. Usually it was Sara who couldn't hold it together and it scared her that he was traveling down a path that was all to familiar to her.
She walked though the lab looking for him but he was no where to be found. As she gave in and decided to go home, she flipped open her phone to call him. She let it ring until it reached his message bank. Sara sighed, she didn't know what she was going to do.
She got in her car and headed over to Grissoms, well these days it was just as much hers, she rarely went back to her apartment, spending almost every moment of her free time with Grissom.
When she got to the front she let herself in as always, not expecting to find him there, but just hoping he might be, she did a quick search of the house and didn't find him. She picked up the phone hoping she'd be able to reach him by now. When she heard the message again, a single tear fell from her eyes. Was Grissom avoiding her? Had she done something wrong? Worry began to seep into her, she had always thought that this, her and Grissom, was too good to last. She had thought that one day he'd wake up and realise that Sara wasn't all he thought she would be. Had Nick nearly dying opened his eyes, did he see what Sara knew all along? She didn't deserve him, he had tried so many times to push her away, perhaps he only gave in because of her persistence.
Sara didn't know any more, she thought they had a solid relationship but after this she wasn't so sure. Sara grabbed what few clothes she had and headed out the door. She thought she would make this easy for both of them, after all Sara was used to the pain and she knew this was best.

Grissom sat there staring at Nick, and although Nick was sleeping Grissom felt like he had to tell him everything he was thinking. Looking at him wired to the machines Grissom spoke

'well mate, this is some situation you got yourself in,' he started, he didn't know why it was always so hard for him just to say what he was thinking

'Nick, I'm really sorry this happened to you, it's all my fault, if I had been a better supervisor we would have all been together and this wouldn't have happened'

Grissom put his head into his hands and let the rest on his knees.

'any way Nick, i'd better leave you alone, I just wanted to tell you I was sorry'

Grissom stood up and headed out the door. As he got to the hospital entrance he felt his phone buzzing, picking it up he realised he had missed two calls from Sara. Sighing he dialled her number, she was probably asleep by now but he tried her anyway, it rang out.
Grissom was at his car by now, he got in and tried Sara one more time. It went to message bank again. He flipped the phone shut and headed towards his house, he felt like he hadn't been alone with Sara in forever, and he needed her, now, more then usual.

He reached the house in record time, pulling into the parking garage he realised Sara's car wasn't there. Strange he thought, maybe she had gone to get something to eat. He went inside his apartment. He looked around to make sure Sara wasn't there, he had a strange feeling but he couldn't explain it. He was a man of science and he very rarely let his emotions control him. But this time, he felt something strange. Just as he was contemplating this, something on the kitchen counter caught his eyes. The glistening in the light was a set of keys, he went over to the counter and there lying on the counter was a set of keys and a note.
Grissom picked up the keys, he felt his heart sink, these were Sara's, he'd had them cut for so she could come and go as she pleased. And the note Grissom held it in his hands for awhile to scared to open it, he knew what was coming but he couldn't face it. After what felt like hours he got the courage to open it.
Written in Sara's perfect handwriting was a short note the simply read,

Gil,
It's better this way
Sara

Grissom stared at the note, he felt the tears building behind his eyes. He was confused, what did Sara mean it was better? Better she was gone? He couldn't believe that, not for a second, it had taken him a long time to realize he couldn't live without Sara, and he knew he's life wouldn't be better like this.
He went and took a shower trying to process the last few days, why was it that he was so close to loosing people he cared for? He had fought to get Nick back, and now he would fight to get Sara back, as he showered he swore he would do what ever it took, he had spent to many years letting her walk away, and he wasn't going to make that mistake again.
Full of determination Grissom got dressed and headed out the door, he was ready for what ever lay ahead.

Sara unlocked the door and walked into her apartment, she hadn't spent a lot of time here it recent months, she had even considered asking Grissom if she could move in with him, and now she was glad she hadn't.
She went into the bedroom, she sat down on the bed to take her shoes off, this is the best thing for both of us, she thought, if I do the leaving i'm in control of the pain. She felt a tear run down her face. She wasn't sure she even believed the words she was saying, but she couldn't face the pain that he would reject her, so she had to be the one to leave.
Sara laid down on the bed and curled herself up in to a ball. She let her tears flow, she knew her life was going to change now, and she had no control over it or herself. At some point she drifted off to sleep, tears still pouring down her face.

Grissom decided Sara's flat was the first place he would look for her, after all where else would she go in the early hours of the morning. He unlocked the door, Sara had given him a key a long time ago, even before they were together so he could check up on her if he felt he needed to.
He opened the door slowly, he could see all the lights in the house where off, treading quietly through the house he headed towards Sara's room. He opened the bedroom door quietly, Sara was curled up in a ball asleep on the bed. Grissom knew from the way she was lying that she had been crying, Sara always tucked her legs under her chin when she was upset.
Grissom took of his shoes and got into bed next to Sara. He pulled her in tight to him, he had once told her he never wanted to wake up without her and he meant it, so now even though she wasn't awake he told her.
Grissom whispered quietly into Sara's ear '

Honey, its going to be ok, we're going to be ok, i promised that i would always wake up next to you, and i'm going to keep that promise'

He kissed her cheek gently and snuggled into her,

'I love you Sara, i always will'

Grissom closed his eyes, no matter what happened tomorrow, at least he would have this moment with Sara.

Sara woke up slowly, the sun was poking through the curtains. She had no idea what time it was. As she became more aware of her surroundings, she noticed that there was someone warm in the bed with her. Turning over she saw Grissom.
She gasp slightly, he was the last person she had expected to see this morning, but here he was, just like every other morning, right beside her. Sara proped herself up on her elbows and touched Grissoms face, maybe she was wrong about everything, she didn't know now, everything was all jumbled inside her head. So this is what crazy feels like, she thought to herself, only half kidding.
She continued to stoke his face, thinking this might be the last time she would do this. Grissom started to wake, he could feel a soft hand on his face. Even with out looking he knew it was Sara, she was so familiar to him and her touch made his skin tingle every time.
He opened his eyes and saw her staring down at him, smiling slightly but also looking slightly worried. Grissom lifted himself into a sitting position, and took Sara's hands.

'Morning beautiful' He said to her softly 'You want to tell me why i had to drive half way across town to find you last night?'

Sara turned away, she felt really foolish now, over reacting when it was Grissom who needed help.

'I thought you were pushing me away again' She said to him quietly 'i didn't want to feel that again, so i left'

She couldn't look him in eyes '

Sara' he said pulling her head towards him so he could see her eyes 'What ever made you think that?'

He was concerned, he hadn't even realized he made her feel like that.

'At the lab yesterday, you snapped at me when i was just trying to find out how you were, Gil, you were nearly blown to pieces, i was so worried, i just needed to see you, and then i cant find you anywhere in the lab and your not answering your phone and then you weren't at home, i thought you were avoiding me. i thought this case made you see all the things you were missing out on with me, and what a big risk our relationship is to your career'

Sara's eyes filled with tears as she spoke. Grissom pulled her in to him, holding her as tight as he could, he said to her

'Sara, Honey, i'm sorry about snapping at you, i didn't mean it, the case just really got to me, and i took that out on you but that doesn't mean i don't love you, and i wasn't at the lab or home or answering my phone because i was at the hospital with Nick, i had to tell him i was sorry, but you know me Sara, it took me awhile to find the right words. But never would i ever think i'm missing anything with you, you've given me so much, something i never thought i could have, and you gave it to me. If any one is missing out Sara its you, you waited for years for me, you let life pass you by because you hoped i would get the courage to act on my feelings. If anyone should be scared, it should be me, that you will wake up one day and realize you wasted to much time on me'

Grissom kissed the top of Sara's head

'Sara i told you i never want to wake up without you, and thats just as true now as it was then, you are every thing to me, and if anything with Nick going missing, it made realize that i should tell you everyday how much you mean to me, I love you Sara and i will forever, thats a promise'

Sara looked up at Grissom, she wondered how she could have doubted him

'Gil' Sara stared in to his beautiful blue eyes 'i'm sorry, i over reacted, i'm just so scared of letting you down or disappointing you, i didn't mean to make you upset, not after everything with Nick, i should have been there for you. I am here for you, what ever you need to get through this, i'm here, I love you too Gil, i promise that wont change no matter what happens to us.'

Sara continued to look at him until he lent down to kiss her, as his lips reached hers she closed her eyes, to her this was heaven When he pulled away Sara spoke to him again

'Gil, are you ok? i mean with Nick and all that'

'You know Sara, i think i will be, i've got you and Ecklies putting the team back together so, in time, i will be back to my boring old self'

Grissom smiled, until he noticed the look on Sara's face

'What?' He asked her 'Ecklies putting the team back together? Surely with the guys around all the time someones going to notice,' She paused trying to find a word 'Us' she finished

'Sara, don't worry, as long as we stick to the rules we made, it will be fine, no one will notice' he reassured her.

She snuggled back into him and closed her eyes, she felt reassured, Grissom still loved her, she felt like she could take on an army and win. Grissom stroked her hair as she lay on his chest

'Sara, there's something else i want to ask you, don't get angry or anything and you can say no' Grissom said nervously

Sara was a bit worried now

'Spit it out Grissom, what do you need to ask me, your scaring me' Sara replied, she hoped it was nothing bad.

'Well i've been thinking a lot lately and well last night made up my mind, i think you should live with me, at my house, all the time, i don't want to drive around half the town looking for, i want to wake up with you in our home everyday forever'

He paused waiting for her reactions Sara laughed she sat up to face Grissom

'I thought i already was' She was beaming down at him, she lent in and kissed him softly 'but lets make it official, i will sell this place, and all my stuff and me can go and live at your place.'

She was still smiling, she couldn't help it Grissom was grinning from ear to ear,

'Sara' he said to her 'there's only one small problem' he was still smiling

'Oh' replied Sara 'And what, Gilbert, may i ask is that?' she said smiling back at him

Grissom reached over to the side table and grabbed something turning back toward Sara he held up her set of keys to his house

'You left your keys behind'

Giggling Sara lent into kiss him again, this time it lingered.

'I love you Gil' She said to him as he rolled her over on to her back