Chapter Nine: Clinics, Curse Words, and Cuddling
The frozen peas that Jethro had brought along were resting on Tony's eye as Jethro drove back towards the city, stopping briefly at the diner to pick up Abby's breakfast and some coffee for himself and Tony on the way. By the time he parked in his spot at NCIS, Tony was asleep in the passenger seat. The sight made Jethro feel guilty but there was no avoiding the inevitable doctor visit.
"Tony," Jethro said, urging the man awake by rubbing a hand across Tony's arm.
Tony fussed, leaned closer to Jethro and settled in again. "I like it better when you wake me up with kisses," he mumbled.
Jethro wrapped his arms around the lover he had nearly lost and tugged him closer, not missing the tensing of Tony's muscles or the quiet, pained grunts that Tony tried to hide. He pressed slow, sweet kisses all over Tony's face, urging him awake despite Tony's continued protests.
"My favorite is when you wake me up with your cock," Tony tried.
Jethro coughed as the coffee he attempted to swallow at that exact moment went down the wrong way. Once his coughing fit ended, he took another swig and cleared his throat. "That is not happening in the NCIS parking lot. You're just stalling because you don't wanna see Ducky," he accused lovingly.
"I like Ducky," Tony protested.
"As a friend. Not when he's playing doctor."
More disgruntled mumbles told Jethro he was right, even though he'd known he was right before Tony had made any noise at all. "I don't like anyone when they're playing doctor."
"I bet I could change your mind."
The thought piqued Tony's interest enough that he opened his eyes and looked curiously over at Jethro. "Yeah?"
"Yeah, but not here and not now. Come on, Tony, let's get this over with."
Tony followed Jethro out of the driver side door of the pickup truck and after a brief stop in Abby's lab, he found himself in the antiseptic smelling autopsy suite, greeting a tired looking Ducky. Just the smell of the room was enough to add to his lightheadedness. It'd be a miracle if he didn't pass out.
"Oh good heavens, Anthony," Ducky said when he saw the man.
"It looks worse than it is, Ducky," Tony grumped dismissively. "I'm fine."
"We'll see about that," Ducky replied. "Let's have a look."
"He's pissing blood, Duck," Jethro informed, ignoring Tony's mutinous glare.
"Alright," Ducky said, his tone all business. "What else? Besides the obvious."
"Well, let's see," Tony snarked and both other men in the room knew whatever was coming next would be sarcastic, "I was hit, kicked, thrown around, slammed into the wall and floor, electrocuted—"
"Electrocuted?" Ducky interrupted in shock.
"Yeah but I walked out of there under my own steam. I'm fine," Tony insisted.
"Take your clothes off, Anthony," Ducky said, ignoring Tony's protests.
Tony couldn't see his own face, thankfully, but he was sure his eyes were bugging out of his head. Even the one that was nearly swollen shut. "Excuse me?"
"Either you can strip or I can strip you, Tony," Jethro said, putting an end to Tony's protests.
Tony shot Jethro his second mutinous glare of the day as he stripped down to underwear.
"Where did they electrocute you, Tony?" Ducky asked as he gave the man a once over.
"I don't know." Tony's frustration was growing and being complicated by his exhaustion.
"What do you see, Duck?" Jethro asked.
"It's what I don't see," Ducky answered. "Electrocution causes an entrance wound where the current enters the body and an exit wound where it leaves the body. I'm not seeing either."
"I swear I was electrocuted," Tony insisted as both men looked him over closely. "I think I would know. I was there."
Jethro reached out and gave Tony's forearm a squeeze, hoping to settle him. It was clear they were all on edge which was making a bad situation worse.
"We need to get him to the hospital," Ducky said.
"What? No! I am notgoing to the hospital. I'm fine!"
"Is that really necessary, Ducky?" Jethro asked.
"Electrical currents are dangerous and unpredictable, Jethro. Tony needs to be checked out and monitored."
"Ducky, this is ridiculous. Gibbs, will you tell Ducky this is ridiculous?"
"Ducky, this is ridiculous," Jethro repeated flatly.
"Yes, well, ridiculous or not, it's necessary. Put your clothes back on, Anthony. The quicker we go, the quicker we can get this over with."
NCIS Special Agent Balboa sat just outside the door to Director Morrow's office, waiting as patiently as he could manage for his turn to be seen. He wasn't very good at waiting. He preferred to use his time a bit more wisely than sitting. He processed things better when he was moving and doing but he'd been summoned and considering the man was his boss, he didn't have much of a choice about waiting.
The phone on Morrow's secretary's desk rang and after the woman hung up, she sent him in with a smile.
"Have a seat," Morrow said, motioning to one of the fancy, oversized chairs in front of his desk. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting."
"What can I do for you, Director?" Balboa asked.
"Agent DiNozzo was kidnapped and attacked last night," Morrow informed the man. "He escaped. He's at the hospital now. Dr. Mallard and Agent Gibbs are with him. I need you to coordinate with Agent Fornell on the investigation into the attack and I need your team to take over the case Gibbs opened last night. What evidence we have is down with Miss Sciuto."
"What evidence we have? What does that mean, Sir?"
"Agent DiNozzo was on his way back to NCIS with the bulk of the evidence when he was kidnapped," Morrow explained. "The car with the evidence in it is missing. I'm afraid you've got an uphill battle ahead of you but Gibbs will be around to help after he's done at the hospital and so will DiNozzo as soon as he's cleared for duty."
"We'll get it done," Balboa replied confidently. "Which hospital are Gibbs and DiNozzo at?"
"Washington General."
"Then that's where I'll be," Balboa replied before making his exit.
Jethro reached over and rested his hand on Tony's thigh as he drove towards Washington General. He could see that the man was deeply conflicted, maybe even troubled. "Why are you fighting this so hard, Tony?" he asked gently. "You got somewhere else to be?"
"You'd do the same," Tony accused. "I vaguely remember dragging your ass, kicking and screaming, to the ER not long ago."
"I was not kicking and screaming!" Jethro protested, "and I didn't fight it this hard."
"Yeah, well, you didn't have somewhere else you needed to be."
"And where do you need to be right now, other than the hospital?"
"Baltimore." The determination in Tony's voice struck Jethro. "There's no way in hell I'm gonna let them get away with this."
"And what exactly do you plan on doing?" Jethro asked. "Tony, I love you to death but Abby could take you out in the condition you're in."
"Abby could take me out at my best," Tony countered. "She's one chick you don't wanna mess with."
"Good point," Jethro obliged. He pulled into the hospital parking lot and found a spot as close to the front as he could, which ended up not being very close at all.
"Did you mean you love me to death like you love me or you love me to death as in you love me to death?" Tony asked, turning the first half of the question into something genuine and making the second half of the question dismissive. "Actually, never mind. Forget I asked," he added quickly.
Jethro gave Tony's thigh a final squeeze, relieved that Tony didn't want an answer to his question after all, a question he wasn't quite sure how to answer at that point, then slipped out of the truck and waited while Tony reluctantly followed behind him.
The ER waiting room was as busy as the parking lot but after a conversation between Ducky, one of the nurses and the receptionist, Tony was taken back to a room immediately.
There was no way Tony was going to complain about being moved to the front of the line but he did feel a little guilty. Despite what Ducky seemed to think, he was fine. There was no reason to be alarmed enough to cut in line. The receptionist handed Tony a clipboard with what seemed like a book of paperwork while the nurse, who'd introduced herself as Emma, laid a hospital gown on the exam table.
"This is so pointless," Tony grumped again. He rested his arm against the clipboard as he scribbled his name across the first line only to smear blood from his severely banged up wrists across the paper. The sight caused his frustration to grow until Jethro took the paperwork and pen from him.
"I need you to take off all your clothes, sweetie, and put that hospital gown on for me," the nurse said.
"Everybody wants a peek at my goodies today," Tony muttered.
"I've got to run and grab something," the nurse said with a kind smile. "I'll give you some privacy."
"We will too," Ducky said, following the nurse out. He paused in the doorway when he realized Jethro wasn't right behind him and cleared his throat to get the man's attention.
Jethro remembered Ducky didn't know he and Tony went home together every night and was waiting for him to follow along. "We'll be right out here if you need us," he told Tony.
"Now everybody wants to be considerate of what I might want," Tony snarked. "Not when I say that a trip to the hospital is a waste of time."
"I realize we both want to mother hen Tony right now, Jethro," Ducky said after he'd closed the door to Tony's room, "but it's clear we're going to have to give him some space."
"Huh?"
"Well, like leaving him alone long enough to change, for instance."
"Oh, that. I just didn't hear you, Duck. I was busy filling out the paperwork." It seemed like a perfectly logical explanation, unlike I've seen Tony naked more times than I can count.
"I see."
"We're all running on no sleep, Duck. We just need to muscle through this until we get to a point where we can all go home and get some rest."
The door opened putting an end to the awkward conversation, and Tony poked his head out. "I'm all naked underneath my clothes," he reported. "You guys can come back in. And where's that nurse? I'm ready to get this over with."
It wasn't long before the nurse returned, right after Jethro had returned from giving Tony's paperwork back to the receptionist and explaining that some of the information was missing due to his missing wallet.
"Alright, Anthony—"
"Tony," Tony said, interrupting the nurse immediately.
"Tony," the woman corrected kindly. "Can you tell me what happened last night?"
"Well, I was handcuffed, berated, hit, kicked, electrocuted and then left on my own," Tony replied with a sarcastic overtone. "I didn't stick around to find out what they had planned for me next."
"Where were you hit and kicked, honey?" the nurse asked as she recorded everything Tony was saying in his file on the computer.
"Uhh," Tony took a moment to take stock of his injuries, "pretty much everywhere? My face," he said, pointing to his eye and then his lip, "my stomach, of course, because that's the most fun place to hit somebody. The back… I think. I don't really remember, doc."
"I'm the nurse, baby," the woman corrected, her patience never wavering. "Did you lose consciousness at all?"
"Yeah, I think so, when they electrocuted me."
"I couldn't find any signs of electrocution," Ducky interjected.
"No offense, Ducky, but you weren't there," Tony ground out. "I was and I swear to fuck I was electrocuted."
"Calm down, Tony," Jethro coaxed, reaching out and rubbing his hand over Tony's arm, "and watch your language."
"I'm sorry," Tony snapped, "but I'm telling you, I was electrocuted."
"Okay, Tony," the nurse said, her tone free of judgment, "we'll have a look."
"I was merely saying there's no evidence of that, Tony," Ducky tried. "I'm not trying to discount what you went through at all."
"We're all tired, Duck," Jethro said when he could feel Tony getting worked up again.
"Is there anything else I should know about, Tony?" the nurse asked.
"I don't think so but who knows. I'm sure I forgot something." Tony looked towards Jethro and Ducky for conformation.
"He's urinating blood," Jethro added, "enough that it's visible in the toilet."
"Does it hurt when you pee?"
Tony laughed outright. "It hurts when I breathe," he informed the woman. "Taking a—uh, uh, pee, is excruciating."
"You can say piss, honey," the nurse informed Tony with a cheery laugh. "I've heard it all before." She made one final note in the computer before moving over to Tony's side to start getting his vitals.
"I bet you have," Tony replied, trying to sit still while the nurse checked him over.
"Alright, Tony, I'll let the doctor know you're ready to be seen and we'll see if we can get you out of here so you can go home and get some rest."
"Thank you, nurse Emma."
"I'm sorry I snapped at you, Ducky," Tony said after the nurse had left. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just grumpy and I really don't wanna be here but it wasn't fair for me to take it out on you."
"I understand, dear boy," Ducky replied kindly. "I think we could all do with some rest."
The door opened again, way too fast for Emma to have gotten the doctor, causing all three men to glance towards it as Balboa stepped into the room. Jethro greeted his longtime friend but Tony saved the wise ass comment that came to mind, a little too intimidated by the man to be snarky. Balboa appeared to be around the same age as Gibbs and the man definitely had the same commanding presence that demanded respect. Tony hadn't had much of an opportunity to do more than say hello in passing.
"You look like hell," the agent informed Tony, poking around Tony's black eye. He let Tony push his hand away only to prod at Tony's busted up lip as soon as he let go.
Tony grumbled and turned away slightly, although he was a bit surprised by the gruff man's gentleness.
"Did you take some body shots too?" Balboa asked.
"I wouldn't be here for a black eye and a split lip," Tony answered.
"Mind if I have a look?"
Tony swallowed hard and glanced at Jethro, unsure about undressing once again in front of another new person. "Why the hell not?" he replied.
Balboa helped Tony ease his arms out of the hospital gown and carefully moved it down his torso, letting it pool in Tony's lap to protect his privacy. He didn't touch, like he'd done to Tony's face but took note of deepening colors that would turn much darker in the coming days.
"They left you cuffed?"
Tony nodded, looking at his bruised and cut up wrists. He missed the souring expression on Balboa's face.
"I'm headed to Baltimore to have a look around," Balboa said. "Anything specific I should look for?"
Tony half shrugged. "You won't find anything," he said. "The whole thing felt too planned."
Balboa nodded though he was just as determined. "You were held in their holding cell by Detectives Price and Calhoun and Major Raimey until you busted out the window and made your escape?" he confirmed, reading the notes he'd scribbled from the truncated report Director Morrow had given him.
"Yeah," Tony answered with a slight nod. "And Roderick Knight was guarding me. I left him with a little keepsake."
"Yeah, what's that?"
"I broke the window to get his attention," Tony answered, "and when he came in to stop me from escaping, I put him in a chokehold till he passed out so I could get the handcuff key off his belt. After I freed myself, I mighta punched the dude in the face for a little payback."
A proud smile spread across Balboa's face and Tony somehow felt he'd just earned the man's respect. He wouldn't have cared except Balboa was Jethro's friend and Tony wanted to make the man look good.
"We'll get 'em, Tony," Balboa said, winking at the man before turning towards Jethro. "Fornell 'll be waiting to question DiNozzo when you guys are done here. I'm headed to Baltimore before they can destroy all the evidence. I'll check in with you guys later."
"Thanks, Balboa," Jethro said, shaking the man's hand. If he couldn't investigate Tony's case, which he knew he couldn't, Balboa was on the very short list of people he wanted on the case.
Tony watched as the agent made his exit then looked towards Jethro as he redressed himself. "I thought he was gonna strip me naked too for a minute there," he told his lover. "Thought maybe he wanted a peek at my junk too."
"Balboa could care less about your junk," Jethro teased lightly.
Tony gasped in mock insult. "Well if he had any idea what I was packing down there, that wouldn't be the case."
"Yeah, you wish," Jethro continued, winking playfully at Tony. He was thankful for the lighter mood that seemed to be settling in the room. "Balboa was a medic on an Army Green Beret team. He's seen plenty of junk in his day and he's even patched me up a couple times when Ducky wasn't around."
"Oh," Tony said, growing slightly confused. "Wait, I thought you had to be in the Navy or Marines to work at NCIS."
Jethro watched Tony for a moment as a grin spread across his face. The man was clearly beyond exhausted if he was asking such questions. "Which branch did you serve in?"
Tony's face turned a healthy shade of red as he realized what he'd said. "Oh, yeah," he said quietly. "Pain meds make me kinda loopy. I think that nice nurse slipped me something when I wasn't looking."
Jethro lovingly chucked the man under the chin, letting him off the hook as the door opened and nurse Emma walked in followed by Dr. Daniel Grafton.
After introductions were made, the nurse sent Tony into the bathroom for a urine sample while the doctor looked over the information that had been collected so far.
"It might be best if we step out, Jethro," Ducky said. "They're going to want to have a look at Tony… all of Tony."
"We stripped him down to his skivvies in autopsy before we left," Jethro protested. He was tired of being kicked out of Tony's room when he'd seen all of Tony on more than one occasion anyway. He really didn't want to miss any of what the doctor had to say or wait in the waiting room while his lover was being tended to.
"We're all guys here," Tony said, "and I'm not shy. Just grumpy."
Jethro sat in an out of the way chair, making his intentions clear, leaving Ducky standing in the middle of the room, confused. He looked back and forth between the two men before lowering himself into the seat next to Jethro.
"Here's my pee, Nurse Emma," Tony said, offering the specimen collection jar to her, "at least everything I managed to squeeze out before I passed out from the pain."
"Should be enough," the nurse replied. "Go ahead and have a seat on the exam table."
"Is there a reason these tables are so high?" Tony grumped as his sore body protested his efforts to ease himself onto the table.
"It saves my back," Dr. Grafton answered, stepping closer to Tony and smiling at his newest patient. "Any trouble breathing, Anthony?"
"It's Tony and only when I was taking gut punches."
The doctor nodded and huffed onto his stethoscope to warm it before pressing it to Tony's back, moving it around to a few different places and then repeating the process on his front. The man poked and prodded at bruises and sore spots, moved joints to test dexterity and asked a few more questions before an unsettling extended moment of silence elapsed while he added to the notes in Tony's record.
"Alright," he said when he'd finished, "I'm going to send you for an x-ray on your right shoulder. I don't like how stiff and tender that is and after that I want you to have an EEG."
"An EEG?" Tony asked. "'cause I was electrocuted?"
"I don't think you were electrocuted, Tony," Dr. Grafton said. "Did you lose control of your bladder at all?"
"What do you mean? Like, wet my pants? I'm not two!" Tony's protest came out with a sting of insult but he mostly just felt embarrassed.
"It's a common occurrence," the doctor assured Tony.
"Nothing to be ashamed of, Tony," Jethro reminded the man nonchalantly.
Tony huffed dramatically and rolled his eyes but finally came clean. "Fine, yes. On top of everything else that happened last night, I pissed my pants like a two year old."
"That's because you had no control, Tony," Dr. Grafton said. "From what you've told me, I suspect your head bouncing off the concrete wall caused a seizure which can sometimes feel like you're being electrocuted."
"But I walked out of there under my own power," Tony countered. "I'm fine!"
"I'm sure your adrenaline had spiked and I'm guessing your fight or flight response had kicked in," Dr. Grafton explained. "Your body's capable of all kinds of things when there's an imminent threat."
"What will an EEG tell you?" Jethro asked, growing more concerned at the new development.
"At this point, probably nothing," the doctor answered. "I suspect he had a complex partial seizure which would only show up on an EEG if he were hooked up while he was having it. It will rule out a Grand Mal seizure, however, which would be more serious."
"What if it is just one of the first kind of seizures you mentioned?" Tony asked.
"If it is and it was caused by the blows to your head then there's a high likelihood that you won't have any further problems but I would recommend staying with someone for the next couple days who can keep an eye on you just to be on the safe side. Let's see what your brain scans show though, before we get too far into the home care."
Over an hour later, after long, quiet waits that had been interrupted by text message pictures of Tony with electrodes attached to his head and playful pleas of desperation about the creatures attempting to eat his brains, Tony was wheeled back into his room and reunited with Jethro.
"Where's Ducky?" Tony asked as he moved from the wheelchair to the exam table.
"I sent him home," Jethro answered. "He was falling asleep in the chair. How are you?"
"I don't know," Tony answered, "still alive, I guess. They said the doc'll be back after he looks at my x-rays and the EEG thingy."
"Hopefully that won't take too long," Jethro said tiredly.
Tony eased down from the exam table, settled in the chair next to Jethro and rested his head on his lover's shoulder. "I'm glad you sent Ducky home," he said quietly around a yawn. "That means I get you all to myself."
Jethro kissed the top of Tony's head then rested his head against Tony's, enjoying the intimate moment before they were interrupted again. By the time the doctor and nurse returned, Tony was asleep and Jethro was nearly so.
"What'd you find?" Jethro asked, his deep voice echoing in Tony's ear and waking him.
"Sorry, Doc," Tony said, rubbing a hand roughly over his face in an attempt to wake himself before moving back over to the exam table.
"I'm almost ready to discharge you," Dr. Grafton said. "I looked at your x-ray and your right shoulder was separated which means the ligaments between your collarbone and shoulder blade were torn. It probably happened in the struggle, most likely from your hands being restrained behind your back. Our body's natural response is to throw our hands up in defense, which you, of course, couldn't do. It'll heal with a little rest, ice for the pain and swelling and this." He revealed a sling, making Tony groan. "I know but it's better than surgery."
"At least there's a bright side," Tony muttered, watching as the doctor slipped it in place and fitted it appropriately. "What about my brain, Doc?"
"Your EEG came back normal," the doctor answered. "I'm comfortable diagnosing a partial seizure but if you feel like you're being electrocuted again or anything strange like that—staring off into space, losing time, a strange déjà vu feeling, come back and see me immediately and I'd still like you to stay with someone who can keep an eye on you."
"That's a relief," Tony said, glancing at Jethro to find he was just as relieved. "I don't live alone, doc, so we're good there."
"Will you document and photograph his injuries for the criminal investigation?" Jethro requested.
"I've got everything documented," the doctor answered. "Emma can take photographs. Will you be needing a copy or should we be expecting someone or…"
"Someone will be by shortly to pick everything up," Jethro answered, knowing that if he took them, especially with Tony with him, a good defense attorney might cry contamination.
"We'll make sure it's ready for them."
"Thanks for all your help, Dr. Grafton," Jethro said sincerely.
"It was my pleasure," the doctor replied. "Emma will take those pictures, go over the discharge instructions and then you guys will be free to go but don't hesitate to return if need be."
It was surprisingly easy to get in to see Major Frank Raimey after arriving in Baltimore. In fact, it was entirely too easy, almost as if the Major had been expecting someone to show up but Balboa rolled with the punches and didn't say anything. He wasn't even two seconds in to his questions when he realized the Baltimore Police Department would be denying everything and stonewalling. That was neither unexpected or a surprise.
"So Anthony DiNozzo, your former officer, wasn't here last night?" Balboa confirmed. He knew he had to tread lightly or risk being shut out completely.
"Son, you'll soon come to realize that DiNozzo's nothing but trouble," Raimey confirmed. "He's not all he presents himself as and I'm truly sorry NCIS has now been saddled with him. No, he wasn't here last night and he most certainly wasn't locked up in our holding cell."
The Major sounded sincere and maybe even convincing but all that meant to Balboa was that he was a good bull shitter, a con man.
"He showed back up in DC this morning, beat to hell," Balboa informed the man lightly. "Any ideas how that might've happened?"
"Knowing DiNozzo, he probably did that to himself or had someone else do it to frame us," Raimey replied confidently.
"Do you mind if I have a look around?" Balboa asked.
"Absolutely," Raimey answered without hesitation. "I have to run but I'll have one of my officers take you anywhere you'd like to go and get anything you want—security footage, last night's records, anything."
"Thank you, Major."