Reworking a bit of this chapter, it was posted initially about three weeks ago (actually on Dick Grayson's birthday as I recall); well on my way to completing the next chapter, hope to have it up soon...

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Double Take

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Chapter 86

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"Maybe I want you to press..." Dick murmured.

Kori froze. She turned away, curling up tighter in a ball as she lay on the bed. "You wish for me to ask you for your mother's ring back?"

"No... I mean yes..."

"You are most uncertain it appears," Kori replied mournfully.

"Would you take it back?"

Kori's eyes teared up, not that she gave Dick the opportunity to see. "I am unclear why we continue in the hypothetical... I mean, I guess it comes down to whether we are in a relationship or not, whether we are promised to each other anymore or not."

Dick got stuck on 'I guess it comes down to whether we are in a relationship or not', and his heart fell. He tightened his fists, channeling the anger he was feeling at that statement and to the situation. All the mistakes, all the misunderstandings, all his failures.

He sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. "Well, I am not getting the impression you are sure where we stand either."

Kori sighed heavily but it did not stop her silent tears. She knew he probably was aware that she was crying, but she didn't try to stop her tears, nor did she turn to look at him. "There are the obstacles that are preventing me from doing the insisting about having the ring back, about our future."

"Obstacles? Wait, our future?"

"Really Richard?"

"Huh?" He was so caught up in what she said and how she said it, he felt numb.

"There is something that is holding you back, as it holds me back."

"What is holding you back?"

Kori resisted the urge to get sarcastic, and was considering that running option again. "I have to hold back to protect myself; did you not do the hedging, not giving yourself only to me? You were in a relationship with Barbara!"

Dick nodded in agreement, not that Kori could see. "Well, I guess. Partially."

"You agree!" She had hoped he wouldn't confirm me so easily.

Dick knew what had at least in part triggered his infidelity, and blurted it out: "I saw my future and it scared me."

"And I was your future."

Kori's tone was matter of fact, and Dick considered that he would want to see her more upset or mournful, and his heart sank. "Not was."

"So you think I can still be your future?"

"I thought you were then, I think... I'd like to think that you are."

"But you were also in a relationship with Barbara. How could I be your future if you saw the need to turn to another... even before we truly began our lives together? Was it because we were not married yet? Or is it a playboy thing?"

"I was scared, but it wasn't that bad! It is not what you think! I never slept with her!"

Kori raised her voice but still did not turn toward him. "That does not mean you were not in a relationship that compromised ours! I saw you with her in the ER. That kiss was hardly your first. You had dinner with her nearly every day either before or after her therapy session. The fact that you were her sponsor at all."

"But you agreed to it!"

"I was the fool to have."

"No Kori-"

"I was."

"You were compassionate, a friend to her-"

"I was so naïve... but I am no longer that naïve... about many things..."

Dick frowned, not liking what that could mean. She had been away, did things happen between Kori and Ph'yzzon?

He fought to kept his tone even. "Can I see you while we're talking about this?" he asked, hoping to coax her to roll back over, preferably into his arms.

"It seems were are about to start doing the arguing."

"Kori, please, we are talking, finally, like we should have for weeks."

She complied and smiled when she saw his face, melting at the sight of the man she loved. "You are very distracting Dr. Grayson and perhaps that is why I wasn't looking at you."

"Are the memories overwhelming?"

"Not just the memories but the feelings... and desires."

Dick bit back a groan. Kori continued, "If we are being the truly honest-"

"Please be."

"I do remember considering that if I had shared myself with you that you would not have sought out the affections of Barbara."

"Oh Kori..."

"Would you deny that?"

He flopped onto his back and huffed out a frustrated sigh. "I'm not sure. I mean, was I frustrated? Yes. Because I desired you as my life partner, my wife..." He looked at her, "Don't doubt that, ever, that's where this was and hopefully still is going... Do you want honesty?"

"Of course, how else can we fix this?"

"Babs was a temptation, an outlet. But would I have wanted to be with Babs instead of you? No. But I guess I was trying to have it all."

"And I wasn't enough?"

"You were, you are. I was under so much pressure from the press, worrying about you, worrying about her... I was weak to my needs."

"And I was not fulfilling all your needs."

"Ouch. Well, I guess I thought... maybe that you weren't. I'm sorry, I'm trying to tell the truth."

Kori let the tears fall. "You are being honest. That is all I can ask. Are we broken? This really is unfamiliar..."

"We can fix this. We can do anything together."

Kori nodded and hugged herself, and choked back a sob. She did not want to look at him again. "Dick, can I have a few minutes? Actually, more than that, can I have an hour or so to think about some things? Then we will do the talking. I still have to go through my memories... and as I said you are the distracting."

Dick nodded, but was very unsettled. "I'll run some errands."

"I think that will be the good idea. I will see you later then?"

"Of course." Dick kissed her cheek and got up. Before stopping to put on his boots, he turned back to you. "I love you Kori and I know I messed things up. And it wasn't that you weren't enough, aren't enough, please know that. I just let the pressure and the temptation get to me, and I'm going to always hate myself for it. I know I can never make up for it, but I want to."

"We will talk more later, Richardgrayson." Kori said in Tamaranian.

"I love you, Koriand'r.

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Kori was not holding back, crying before the door was shut. She loved him. There wasn't an easy solution to all of this and she wasn't sure she could face hard work for their relationship. After a few minutes, she collected herself. She went through her memories, her thoughts and then pulled out her journal. Pouring over her own words, reliving her experiences over the past few months she gained more insight as well as some hope: It was a special relationship, one worth fighting for, working for, but Dick would have to earn her trust again.

She knew her memories were still coming back, but she knew enough to know what she wanted.

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Dick returned after an hour in the gym to find Kori looking through her backpack. He was relieved that she wasn't still crying.

"Richard?" Kori asked, her tone businesslike. "I wanted to talk about some of the things I had forgotten, but when I was going through my backpack, I found some drafts of letters that I wrote you."

"Letters? You keep talking about them, but I never received them."

Kori knitted her brow. She stood up to face him and even in her current state after being so ill, the way she crossed her arms and looked him in the eye let him know that she was no longer weak. "That does not make the sense, Richard. I am certain the address is correct, I mean, of course it was. Why did you not receive them?"

She wondered if it were true or not, and then hated herself for thinking that he could lie to her about the letters. But he had deceived her about Babs...

Dick placed his hand on her arm and gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm sure you sent them Kori, but I didn't receive them and they couldn't have taken this long to get here. We'll figure it out, I'm sure. I'd love to know what you wrote. Will you show me the drafts?"

Kori felt a bit awkward about it; she wasn't sure if she'd like to see him reading the drafts. She wanted him to know what she was thinking about when she was gone but to see his reaction would be painful at this point.

Dick saw Kori worrying her lip, not answering right away, wondering more about where those letters got to. An image of Barbara visiting daily, recalling Alfred's voice thanking her for taking in the mail again... No, Babs wouldn't stoop that low, would she? God she would...

Dick's face turned so dark it was frightening.

"Richard?" Kori asked quietly.

He didn't answer right away, wondering how to confront Babs with the possibility.

"I've got to go."

"Richard... all right." She wanted to talk more, she wanted to see what could be worked out, X'hal help her she did... and he had just come back after leaving before, but his mood concerned her. Kori just as soon have him leave so she could remember, to gain perspective. And pack.

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Dick wasn't sure if his hand was up for taking out the motorcycle, but he was beyond caring. It had been months since he'd taken it out, but it suited his mood, as did the black leathers he wore when riding it.

When he was changing his clothes for this important errand, his anger was bubbling up and there was something about taking his bike out that might help clear his head.

And he'd need a clear head to deal with Babs given what he was about to ask her.

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To be continued...

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Thank you for reading and reviews are always appreciated.

Chapter 87 should be up sometime this weekend in ffnet behaves.