Author's Note: So I really got majorly stumped on this chapter... It's kind of all down hill for Rex. I promise things will get better for him if you keep reading. (Then worse. (Then better?)) I also apologize for the lack of Ahsoka, I miss her too. Enjoy –Em

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Chapter 9: Nightmares

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Some part of Rex's sleeping mind knew that it wasn't real—that he'd lived this moment before. Another part embraced the animated memory, savoring every detail. He could hear the far off sound of massive engines traveling through the walls and floor of the ship. He was back on the Resolute—home—but the bed he was lying on felt wrong, too wide and too high. It was a cot in the med-bay.

"Why did you do it, Rex?" his brother's voice said, filling the large empty space. But the med bay hadn't been empty—it was never empty.

"Coric?" Rex looked around for the voice but it wasn't Coric he saw striding over to his bedside.

"I think he's mad at you," Anakin said, grinning. His black leather tunic murmured and his lightsaber swung off his belt like it always did. Part of Rex's dreaming mind knew it was a strange sight from a long gone part of his life.

"That was quite a stunt you pulled down there. Saved a lot of men." When Rex could only stare back in confusion at his General, Skywalker laughed. "You didn't think I'd just leave you down there did you? And don't even bother telling me it was reckless and dangerous, that's what I have Obi-Wan for."

Rex remembered this conversation from his last trip on the Resolute. He had just woken up from his dip in bacta. Anakin came to see him minutes after Coric gave him the hard news. The word decommissioned was still echoing in Rex's head when his General congratulated him on his survival.

"Don't worry, Rex. You're gonna be fine." The Jedi assured him, reaching for something beside Rex's bed. Rex flinched when the wrist bindings were pulled tight. He found his legs were strapped down too at his ankles and knees. The tight band around his shoulders pushe his back against the hard hospital bed. He started shaking as useless adrenaline surged through his veins.

"Just relax, soldier." Rex snapped his head around to see an unfamiliar face and stormtrooper white armor. The trooper checked the tightness of Rex's bonds then stepped back and took his place beside the door. Another stormtrooper with an unfamiliar face was standing at attention on the other side, hand on his DeeCee and finger on the safety.

"I think I'd prefer the bullet if it's all the same," Rex heard himself say. The stoormtroopers couldn't even look him in the eye. Rex lay back and tried to still his shaking.

"I promise, it will only take a minute," a soft voice whispered at his elbow. Anakin was gone and the medbay had shrunk around him. He was in a lone bed int he center of a white, antiseptically clean room. Everything looked like the color had been scrubbed off, even the woman. Her dark skin was waxy and her dark hair lackluster and limp. Her eyes, set deep in her blank face, looked as out of place as the greasy, soot-streaked weapons; in the all pervasive whiteness they were two vividly blue orbs. They looked right back at Rex and didn't flinch away as guilt filled her face.

They aren't the right blue, Rex remembered thinking at that moment. She looked away to ready the large needle. Her fingertips on his bare arm were cold and hesitant. He couldn't tell if it was his own shudders he felt or hers. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye near the door then felt the cold sharp point of the needle on his arm. Rex's heart skipped a beat. He strained against the binders away from the deadly needle.

I always thought I would die with my brothers around me, he thought. I always thought I'd die beside her, protecting her… I don't want to be alone. Don't let me die alone!

"Wait!" Rex's heart skipped a beat at the word.

"There's been a new development," the stormtrooper who had tied him down stopped the woman. She remained frozen for a moment, fingers bruising Rex's arm with the force of her grip and the needle pricking the crook of his elbow. Then she released him as if his skin burned her. The storm troopers moved forward to release the restraints but Rex couldn't stop shaking.

He stood up and began walking, leaving the stormtroopers behind. There was somewhere he had to go, someone he had to see before he missed his chance. He was only going to be here for a short while and he had to make the most of it—whatever that turned out to be. It was a chance to leave behind some of that loneliness. Rex took a deep calming breath like he did before battle.

It shouldn't be this nerve racking! Pull it together, verd! He thought to himself. He came out of the hallway onto a long curving terrace with gracefully carved columns supporting the structure above. There was no railing separating him from the four-story drop beyond the edge and nothing interrupted the view all the way to the horizon from his high vantage point.

The sunset across the rolling fields of red and white grasses was exactly the same as the first time he had seen it. Still, he was caught up in the burning patterns of light across the vast expanse of space above him. It looked as if the whole sky was set on fire and frozen in a second.

I really have to tell Jaina she's wrong about Shili. What could be more beautiful? He thought as he drank in the sight. Soft footsteps reached his ears, approaching from behind him. Rex could almost feel her small form through the empty air between them as she came up to his side.

"Don't worry Rex," she said.

"Worry about what?" He asked in confusion. In that moment he wasn't worried about anything. What would come would come. His future was brighter than it had ever been, because she was standing there next to him.

"It doesn't hurt," she assured him.

"What doesn…" Rex began to ask. Movement in the corner of his eye made him turn to see her knees buckling underneath her and her arms limply falling beside her. He lunged and reached, barely feeling her weight on the armor plates of his arms and chest. Her head fell back, eyes and lips open in a frozen expression of shock. He opened his mouth to cry out to her, but the air in his lungs became solid and suffocating as his eyes fell to the bleeding blackened burn that spread from her shoulder down her chest. It was still red hot from the superheated plasma that had burned straight through her flesh and bone.

NO! His mind screamed out silently.

Then Rex opened his eyes.

Even muscle of his body was tense and his heart pounded so hard he felt the vibrations in his chest. With every beat his back and his leg ached. The outline of the sprawling acid burn felt like burning tar on his skin and his deaf ear was ringing with a long gone explosion.

Rex was utterly sober, not even the dregs of a painkiller in his system, for the first time in months. He hadn't had a day this bad since the early weeks of his recovery. He had anger enough to dull the agony back then. There was nothing now but cold loneliness.

Slowly Rex managed to push the pain away with sheer will, until he could focus on something—anything else. He took in his dimly lit surroundings. A familiar, grey, nondescript bunk spread over his head at regulation height and a regulation distance separated him from the bunks on either side of the open bed. The familiar silhouette of a brother filled the bed to his left and another to his right but all the other bunks appeared empty. He was in an army Barracks again, one too big to be in Luke's apartment and too still and quiet to be on a cruiser.

For the first time in his life, Rex woke up with no idea what to do or where to go. He had no plans and no orders. It was almost as terrifying as the dream he'd awoken from.

What do I do now? He thought to himself. Looking up at the grey bottom of the bunk above him, Rex furiously tried to backtrack through the hazy fog of his memories and find his next move.

He could remember most of the evening with Darman in Dul's bar. He moved his jaw a little experimentally and found it still sore from the Commando's beating. The rest of the night was artificially distorted and ended in a vague memory of crashing in a bunk just like the one he was lying in.

But it wasn't the same one. Rex remembered the morning after and his strange visitors, the long transport home,… and Coric. Like in his dream, Rex felt like the air in his lungs had turned solid. As if it had been only minutes ago, he saw Coric's terrified and guilty face right before the hot blue flash of blaster fire filled his vision with sunspots.

How long has he been dead? Rex wondered. It had been at least a day, because he remembered receiving his demotion and transfer orders. They had come as a dull blow after the death of his oldest vod. It had been Coric who patched Rex up after Geonosis, before he had the name Rex, before he was a Captain, before he had figured out who he was. Coric had been his brother then. It only made sense Rex would request the medic for his own Company. Coric had been with Rex through it all—Teth, Umbara,… Ahsoka. No loss of rank could hurt more than that kind of grief.

But even in grief there was a glimmer of hope. Nia's hollow calm expression surfaced through his memories, so different from the vivacious woman who stared out of her personnel file. It seemed obvious in hindsight. All of the signs had been there for Rex to see, and he'd ignored them. If hadn't been for Walli's report, Rex would have been transferred out of Luke's guard and decommissioned before he had a chance to recognize Nia for who she really was. He wouldn't have had the chance to tell Darman how to find his wife. He wouldn't have been able to free Luke from the Empire's clutches. Rex remembered his short call to Kyrimorut—the last haven—the last hope for Rex to find some redemption in his short, bloody existence.

The following morning Rex had cleared out of his office and boarded the transport. He remembered the familiar feeling of the drives vibrating the durasteel under his feet and scanning the troopers in the transport for someone his height and build without finding a single one. But Rex couldn't remember landing or getting off the transport. His memories were foggy and incoherent. A few flashes of recollection came to mind but he wasn't sure if they were before or after he boarded the transport.

Why am I still alive? Rex asked himself. He understood why he felt the loss of purpose. There was nothing left for him to do. His life was over. Yet he still woke up.

Why? Rex lay in bed with that question floating in his mind for what felt like hours and seconds all at the same time. He jumped and sat up when the familiar alarm sounded through the barracks. His brother's woke immediately, like they had been trained to their whole lives.

The man on his left groaned. Rex thought he heard a stiffness even in the grunt of exertion. Fox scrubbed his face with his hands and looked around the barracks in confusion, his mouth slightly open and soundless.

The man on Rex's right was slow, fluid and absolutely silent as he sat up. He stared at Rex evenly and sat with such errie stillness Rex recognized him immediately.

"Walli."

"Rex."

"What the frack are you doing here?" Fox growled.

Before Rex had a chance to answer the door of the barracks hissed open and a stormtrooper Commander too tall to be a vod with a slightly lopsided gait marched in. The Commander snapped to attention at the end of Fox's bed and addressed the three of them.

"The Emperor has ordered your presence in his office at 0700. Transport leaves in three minutes from Hanger G-8. If you do not present for transport you will be escorted by force."

"Sir, yes, sir!" The three clones answered habitually, perfectly in sync.

The Commander remained frozen for a moment and Rex would swear he saw the man shudder. He promptly turned and left without a word. The clones became a flurry of practiced movement. Locating their gear in the storage lockers under their beds. Rex frowned when he opened the drawer to see the jumble within. He always packed his kit the same way—always. Even if he didn't remember how he arrived in this barracks, he knew he hadn't stowed his own gear. His helmet was conspicuously absent. From the annoyed tisk noise to his left Fox had found the same things in his own locker. Walli was silent but he didn't put on his helmet either.

There was no time for talk while they suited up. Rex defaulted to Fox's lead as they marched in file to the hanger, though he wasn't sure any of them retained their ranks at this point. Walli followed behind, his steps a bit hurried, out of sync by a fraction of a second. It was something others would overlook but clones heard like an alarm bell. Rex wished he had his bucket so he could ask Walli what was going on and what he was thinking. He wanted his HUD back so he could check the time and the date. Without it Rex felt even more deaf and blind than he already was.

The transport was waiting for them in hanger G-8 and it didn't waste time getting up into the air. The three of them were the only passengers besides the pilot and the Commander who had fetched them. They rose up nearly vertically and circled around into the open air above the controlled sky-lanes. It was restricted airspace, but the pilot plowed on as if it were routine, making a beeline through the mega-structures toward the Senate Building.

The Commander marched them straight up to what had once been the Chancellors office. Rex had stood outside it as Anakin's Captain waiting for his General, he'd passed it more than a hundred times when he worked as a technician in the Senate Building, and even more times as Jaina's Guard. By the time they reached the large, ornate doors, his back was one mass of agony, his leg throbbed with every step, and it was all he could do to keep up with the others. He struggled more with every passing minute to keep the pain off of his face, realizing he'd taken for granted how his helmet hid his expression and his groans of pain. All the way up he could feel Walli's scrutinizing eyes cataloging every falter and wince.

"We'll take it from here, Commander," The trooper stationed at the office doors said firmly. He was wearing the distinctive marks of the Emperor's Personal Guard on his white armor and Rex knew immediately he was a fellow clone. This clone spoke with a strange accent, more Coruscanti than any clone Rex had ever known. He worked hard to keep suspicion off his face which, was easier to do when he was already battling physical pain.

"The Emperor—" The Commander began but the clone guardsman cut him off.

"Only these three were summoned."

"Yes, of course," the Commander backtracked and then hurriedly saluted. He marched off stiffly down the hall, while Rex and his brothers were ushered into the somber office.

The Emperor sat at his impressive desk with the Coruscant skyline behind him in the large floor to ceiling windows. The man himself was hooded and cloaked, only the end of his disfigured chin distinguishable inside the shadows that shrouded his face. Rex swallowed back bile at the faint smell of rotting meat that hit him as he walked in. He wasn't entirely sure it was more than a memory, but it turned his empty stomach none-the-less. The three bareheaded clones lined up and clicked their heals together in perfect unison, standing at attention before their Commander in Chief. The door behind them closed with a solid thud and left ringing silence in it's wake.

Rex felt sweat on his forehead and a tremor in his right hand. His teeth were gritted against the pain that was threatening to make him lightheaded.

"Treason!" The Emperor finally spoke and the word felt like a slap in the face, unexpected and sobering. "Treason is why you are here before us. You are all that remains of the select few we trusted with a vital mission. You have failed us, failed your empire but worse…"

Rex found himself thinking about his dream. Don't worry, Rex. It doesn't hurt. He could remember her words, but he couldn't remember the way her voice sounded as she said them. He wanted to hear her say those words again and make him believe them.

"… one of you betrayed your mission and your duty—spilled plans to our enemies and left the heir of this Empire to their mercies!" The Emperor spit out the last word with venomous rage. There was no remorse in his voice. He wasn't grieving the loss of a child. He was enraged at the loss of a tool.

Padme Amidala's son deserves better than that! At least mando'ade would treat him like a person—even if the rest of the galaxy would see him as nothing more than a mercenary. Rex felt bitter anger hotter than the pain in his back rising in his gut. A grim sense of satisfaction came over him at the news that Luke had gotten away. It was more satisfaction than he'd anticipated before dying. But it was short lived

"One of your squad has already paid for this traitor's actions with his life. IT-6779 died of his wounds sustained in the attack. We have already found out that IC-5584 and IC-5586 were a part of this conspiracy against us. They resisted arrest and made it necessary to use lethal force."

Kaden and Su'ratin are dead? Rex wondered in surprise. He would have though if anyone survived the fallout of his decision it would have been them. They were Mandalorians, true ramikade. They would have had a contingency plan for ba'slan shev'la, a silent retreat. They would have had a way to escape even the Empire's retribution.

"But they did not posses the information necessary to organize such a blow to us. Only two of you had access to that information: IT-1010 in your new post as Captain and IT-7567 in your previous post before your reassignment was processed both had access to this information. Yet IT-9991 possessed a copy of this information despite lacking authorization. Would you like to explain how this occurred, IT-9991?"

Walli! What have you done? Rex felt colder and heavier dread in his stomach smothering his rage and guilt. He couldn't stop himself from turning to Walli. Past Walli's profile he could see Fox had done the same. The accused trooper was frozen, his jaw dropped slightly and trembling. Rex could see sweat on his brother's neck and the red flush of his ears. A vein throbbed visibly in Walli's neck. Rex swallowed reflexively as his own pace sped up. His back throbbed in time with his pumping blood.

"N-no. I didn't—I didn't know the route until we left orbit, just like the rest of the squad." Walli looked frantically to Fox for some kind of support or affirmation. Fox's face was frozen in surprise and suspicion. Walli looked to Rex with an almost accusing look of disbelief. "I didn't," he said again in a soft, breathless voice. The Emperor let a long moment of silence hang, broken only by Walli's panting. The room seemed to get hotter by noticeable degrees with every second.

"The evidence is clear:" the disfigured monarch spoke with concrete surety, "One or both of these officers let sensitive information leave the security of our system—"

"Your system isn't secure," Walli said, in breach of every protocol. "Anyone in the Imperial Army could have sliced into that comm if they knew how. It… it might not—"

"And I suppose," the Emperor's raspy voice cut in, "you have such expertise or you would not know this?"

"I—I wasn't trained for that…"

"But your datapadd is filled with information from secure channels and your helmet systems pick up far more information than you should be privy to."

Rex and Fox just stared at Walli's mouth moving up and down helplessly.

"Furthermore, I find it hard to believe that your Commanding Officers would have no knowledge of your illicit behavior. Why then was it not reported?" Fox's breathing caught in his throat, a barely audible sound of terror. Rex gritted his teeth against the reflex to gag and hurl.

I can't be responsible for their deaths too! Fox and Walli had nothing to do with it! Rex thought. He turned back to the large regal desk, but before he could open his mouth to speak the memory of Nia's lips on his cheek flashed through his mind so vividly he nearly felt them. He hesitated for a split second, contemplating which brother to betray—the one that had a chance of living out Rex's own dreams or the one that had been his companion through the empty, cold days after the war. In that moment of indecision Walli spoke.

"They didn't!" He cried out in a panicked voice.

But I did! From day one, when I commed Gree I knew! I told him I'd protect Walli. I promised, Rex thought, but he couldn't work his jaw free to speak.

Huut'uun! Coward! He cursed at himself.

"Is this a confession?" the Emperor asked Walli.

"I-It is," Walli's voice broke. Rex had heard that tone before. It was the same tone Coric had when he spoke those final words.

"I sliced into the secure comm months ago."

Not again! Rex felt like screaming. Irrationally he was angry, furious. How could you, Walli? This wasn't your mission. You shouldn't have to die for this… for me!

"An impressive achievement for a standard Infantry Trooper," the Emperor said but his tone implied it was nothing near a compliment. He sounded as disappointed as a Kaminoan inspecting 'defective' product.

"I've never been standard. It was simple, just as easy as slicing into Separatist communications. An adapting-route cypher and a little common sense was all it took." Walli said with bitter pride and a tone of relief. "No point in denying it now." Even Gree hadn't been willing to voice the reality that Walli wasn't an average clone. He was different—and different in their manufactured lives was worse than treason.

"I am an aberrant clone. I'm not ashamed," Walli said, his voice getting horse and tight, "… and I have no regrets."

"Then embrace your fate. Seize him." Two guards descended on Walli and Rex turned before he could stop himself. Walli was on his bad side, next to his deaf ear and foggy eye. He only just saw his brother forced to his knees under the heavy gauntlets of the guards.

"IT-7567," Rex snapped back to attention at his designation. He dutifully looked over the Emperor's head out at the slowly brightening city planet out the window. "It was under your command that this treason occurred. As IT-9991's commanding officer, you will be the one to deliver his sentence."

"Yes, your majesty." The words were automatic, unconscious habit.

"Give him your weapon, trooper," the Emperor said with a wave of his hand to one of the clone guards that stood behind Walli. The white armored man stepped forward and drew his DeeCee 17 blaster pistol. He offered the grip to Rex obediently.

"For your treason, IT-9991, you are sentenced to death." The Emperor hissed out the last word with vicious satisfaction and something bordering on excited anticipation. Rex looked down at the weapon and saw his own hand rising up to take it. Past it he could see his bother's head upheld and the straightforward gaze of his glassy eyes.

Walli didn't do it! I need to confess; I can't let Walli die for my crime. One part of his mind yelled.

If you confess Darman and Etain will be hunted down. Kad will be taken away from them and used just like they would have used Luke—like they will use him if I let them find him again. I have to do this! I have to keep my silence! Another part urged.

His hand was poised over the grip and he had a sudden vision of Coric lying in a spreading pool of blood on the hard floor of his office. Everything had been over for him in a second.

It would be easy, his mind whispered. No more nightmares.

But as his hand fell on the familiar solidity of the grip, he remembered where the nightmares came from. They came from the war, the government, the Senate, the Emperor…the very room he was standing in. Rex was standing right before the man who created his life, tore it apart, condemned him to hell…

I wonder if I'd get off more than two shots before they take me down. Would that even make a Sith flinch? He wondered. He'd watched General Skywalker bat away volleys of blaster fire for years like they were no more than a child's snowballs.

"With all due respect, your majesty," Fox's voice made Rex freeze. "IT-9991 was under my command and it was my squad that unsuccessfully fought off the Mandalorian attack. If I might respectfully ask for the privilege; it was my man that died out there."

Rex stood frozen with his hand on the weapon but his grip only barely holding it. He didn't dare look up to peer into the Emperor's hood at the Sith's expression.

"Very well," The Emperor conceded somberly. Rex pulled his hand away from the weapon quickly like he had been released from someone's iron grip on his wrist.

What was I just about to do? He wondered, heart racing. He was still embroiled in his own confusion when he caught the movement in the corner of his bad eye—just a white blur.

A white armored figure slammed into the guard beside Rex and wrenched the offered weapon out of his hand. In a well-drilled, fluid move, Walli raised the stolen weapon toward the large desk and the hooded figure beyond it.

"No!" Rex yelled and reacted on instinct, diving forward to restrain the rouge trooper. Fox lunged at the same time, grabbing Walli's arms and dragging his aim up, over the Emperor's head. Rex got his arms around Walli's torso, pulling him back and off balance. Amid the metallicsounds of raising weapons, disengaging safeties, and the hard smack of plastoid armor against plastoid, the bzaap of a discharging blaster went off, making Rex's good-ear ring. Walli sagged in his arms and the weapon in his hand clattered to the floor, cold. Rex could now see there wasn't even a power pack in it. The weapon was harmless.

So who fired? He wondered.

Walli gave a choking cough that could have been a laugh. Rex stared down at his friend and brother who was leaning into his arms. Walli had a tight grip on Fox's chest and shoulder plate. His wide terrified eyes looked right at Fox, unblinking and his lips struggled to form words. All that came out was a trickle of red liquid. Walli coughed again wetly, spraying droplets of red across Fox's pristine armor. Then he collapsed. Rex's arms gave way when Walli's weight wrenched his back into dizzying agony. Fox just let the body fall.

"I see justice has been served," the Emperor's paper dry voice broke the frozen moment. Fox and Rex looked up from the body at their feet simultaneously.

"I believe you have both shown your true colors today, and loyalty will be rewarded." The Emperor turned to his guards. "Have IT-1010 and IT-7567 escorted back to the barracks and their suspensions lifted."

"Yes, your Majesty," the guard who had held Walli down answered in his strange Coruscanti accent, as he engaged the safety on his faintly smoking blaster and holstered it.

The disarmed guard got to his feet and brushed himself off. He stepped irreverently over Walli's body and the shiny patch on the dark carpet. Rex wondered how much blood that floor it was hiding—how much of his brothers' blood… The guard retrieved his weapon and loaded a power pack before returning it to his belt.

"Dismissed," the Emperor said offhandedly. Both guards led Rex and Fox out of the Emperor's large office. As they passed through the heavy doors a cleaning droid was ushered in behind them. Rex watched it pass and forced himself not to look back at Walli's sprawled body on the floor. The doors closed with their resounding thud. Rex followed Fox mechanically trying to focus on the pain in his back and his leg and not the droid dragging his brother away like another piece of waste—a slaughtered animal killed for sport. He failed.

Fox and Rex were silent until they were put on the transport back to the barracks. This time there was only the pilot with them, shut away in his cockpit. Rex had lost consciousness of the world around him. He was trying to remember how he'd felt after his call to Kyrimorut. He was trying to remember how satisfied he'd felt knowing that Luke would soon be safely out of the Empire's reach. Desperately he searched for the peaceful feeling he'd gone to sleep with his last night in Luke's apartment. It all eluded him.

"It wasn't the Mandalorians."

"What?" Rex asked when Fox's voice pulled him out of thought.

"Ven. The Mandalorians didn't kill Ven. His wound wasn't fatal."

Rex looked over at Fox. His brother was staring across the empty bay of the transport at something beyond the durasteel hull. His brow was furrowed and his frown was pulling deep lines on his face.

"They shouldn't have died. None of them should have died."

For once, Rex heard his own voice in Fox. He could remember saying those same words many times.

They shouldn't have died and I should have. They're dead but I'm not. Where is the justice in that? Where is the reason? Rex found himself thinking. All his satisfaction and acceptance was gone, replaced with bitter guilt and a deep, slow, corrosive anger. He was angry with himself for not thinking of his brothers first, angry with himself for being powerless to save them, and angry at himself for surviving. Coric's dull eyed, sightless stare, Walli's blood splattering white plastoid, Fives' unfocused, searching gaze, burnt siena skin weeping plasma and blood… The cycle of nightmare recollections filled his eyes and no amount of rubbing would get them out. His back ached like there were knives in his spine. And the smell of burning flesh following him like a ghost, lingered in his nose.

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End Part I

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Author's Note: Ok sorry for the super-depressing end. For the kind reviewer who thought it was going to be Walli next, you were close! As for the Nulls, they are very hard shabuire to get rid of. Is it awful I made up all of those troopers on Rex's squad just to kill them? Maybe a little? I promise no one dies in the next few chapters… I think… ? I'm not always this depressing I swear. T.T I hope you enjoyed it anyway. –Em