Finally, this one is finished. I can't apologise enough for the delay. I had some personal issues to sort out lately, and some of this stuff I'm writing in this chapter hit a bit too close to home. I won't mince words, I've had a rough few weeks. And even now, I'm not 100% happy with this. But if I don't release it now, I'll never get it finished. I hope you enjoy, people.
The sun shone through the window, its rays peaking out beneath the wooden blinds. She focused on the little pitter-patter of the wind breezing through the room. It was the only thing she could concentrate on apart from her own failure.
"Stop fidgeting," the nurse scolded her, as she examined the Avatar. Korra looked at her, unaware her arms had been moving by their own accord in her restless state. She was an old woman. She'd probably seen it all. It didn't stop her complaining though.
"I don't see why I'm here," she muttered, loud enough for the woman to hear. "I got off fine. It's my friends you should be fussing over."
The nurse huffed at her disregard for her own health. "They are being looked after, don't you worry," she clipped, before she started to heal the small cuts and bruises she had sustained. "Just relax. Master Tenzin insisted you be looked at. Once we're done you can see them. Now, stay still."
She might have continued talking but Korra shut her out after that, lost in the whirling thoughts of her own head. She felt astray, a million miles away.
Several moments kept replaying in her mind. The flash of lightning from Mako's fingertips. Asami's cruel smile as she was stunned. And the evil gloating gaze that Bolin had held upon his face, belying the terrified conscience inside.
All of her friends, taken over by that monster. Shunted out of their own minds, forced to commit the most heinous acts of violence upon their own loved ones for the spirit's sadistic glee. And she failed them. All of them.
Tenzin would find it easy to excuse her. Others would say that it wasn't her fault. That there was nothing she could have done. But Korra couldn't accept that. She was the Avatar. At the end of the day, token placation wasn't good enough. Sure, her friends were alive. But that wasn't down to her. That was the Beifong's work. All she was responsible for her was dragging her closest ones away from home out into the doomed night in the first place.
And she was so woefully outmatched against Shin La. She possessed god like proportions of power and she was still swatted aside as if she were nothing. And the way he attacked... it was so insidious. He knew that, faced with the visage of a loved one, she would subconsciously hold back. He, however, didn't.
Or maybe he did. They were all still alive. He hadn't just been boasting as they left the warehouse and that torrid night behind. He really could have ended them any time he pleased. It was only his determination to see them suffer which stayed his spectral hand.
She must have fidgeted again, because she heard another annoyed "Stay still." With a sigh, she turned her head to offer a tired apology.
The countenance that greeted her jolted her into action.
"Yes," Shin La whispered, his evil glare contorted onto the nurse's face. "This will all be over quicker if you stay still!"
His hand grabbed her wrist, encasing it with a vice like grip. The intensity of his grasp was matched only by the malicious gleam in his eyes.
In an instant, she was upon him, grabbing him by the throat and slamming his mocking form into the side of the room. How did her keep following her? Korra decided it didn't matter. What did matter was making sure that he couldn't come after her again.
"Not again," she seethed, leaping forward and throwing her arms toward him in an aggressive movement, pinning the ghost against the wall. "Not again."
It was only after the red haze had left her eyes that she realised what she'd seen. Or to be more precise, what she hadn't seen.
"Wh-what?" the nurse stammered out, pinned to the wall by Korra's strong grasp, completely taken aback by the Avatar's snarling nature and intimidating stature. "Avatar Korra? I don't... I don't understand."
And nor did Korra. Blinking with surprise, she slowly removed her hand from her throat, uncertain that Shin La was not going to emerge from within the old woman. Honestly she wouldn't have been surprised if he did. With him, she never knew what to think.
She surmised that she probably looked like a madwoman, eying her carer so distrustfully. But she couldn't help it. Even as the scared old woman backed away from her, before opening the door and leaving as quickly as she could.
She swept her fingers through her hair. It had been a long night after all. Maybe she was just tired. Either way, now she was seeing things.
Great.
With the door still swinging from the nurse's swift exit, she too departed the room. She had to go see her friends. And make sure that they weren't slipping into the same insanity she was.
"Are you okay?" Korra asked as soon as she walked in. They no longer dilly dallied around a subject if they needed to talk about it, and for that Asami was grateful. It meant she could get this over and done with.
"Not really," she said, offering a smile nevertheless as the Avatar hugged her, before she pulled back in concern for her injuries. "Oh, in that regard, fine," she reassured her. "Shin La... fixed everything."
Korra looked at her sceptically as she sat back down on the seat beside the bed. "I'm sorry?" she inquired, as if she'd misheard. Something positive about the monster was seldom said.
"Yeah," Asami scratched the back of her neck in thought. "Guess he had no use for a broken body after all."
They lapsed into uncomfortable silence. Unusual silence. They were always able to talk, always able to gauge how the other was feeling. That was no different now. The varying was that Korra didn't want to ask, and judging from Asami's silence, she didn't want to answer.
"I can't imagine what it was like with him... inside you, controlling you," Korra tried to soothe her. "But it won't happen again. Every action I make from this moment on is going to make sure of that."
Instead of the grateful smile that the Avatar was hoping for, she was left with a sigh of derision. "You can't promise that," Asami said, looking at her with pain in her eyes. "You can't. This guy is... so much worse than any of the others we've ever faced. I mean they were fierce, they were dangerous but they weren't him. He's... he's demented. He can't be bought, he can't be sold. And he won't just hurt us because we're in the way of his plan for world domination. No, he is coming for us. And he won't stop until he's satisfied." As she finished, Korra could hear a slight quaver in her voice, and her eyes brimmed with tears. "He won't stop until we're all dead."
"It's okay to be scared," Korra said gently, placing her hand in Asami's, as she reciprocated the gesture. But the woman shook her head.
"I'm not scared, Korra," she gulped, her throat dry. "I'm terrified. He hates you, Korra. I mean, seriously hates you. He'll stop at nothing to hurt you. He already has. And this will get worse before it gets better."
Asami hung her head low as she spoke, breaking eye contact. It pained Korra deep in her heart to see her like this. Asami had been damaged enough. What kind of friend would she be if she couldn't put her back together? Confused romantic feelings or not, she needed her.
"There's a reason he hates me so much," the waterbender replied resolutely. "It's because somewhere down the line, a long time ago, the Avatar defeated him. One of my past lives stopped his madness, imprisoned him with only his insanity for company. He was beaten once. I can do it again."
Asami looked back up at her, gazing into those bright blue eyes full of fire and determination. Korra meant what she said. She was going to defeat him. When she said it like that, Asami could believe her.
"Yeah, I hope so," Asami sighed, fidgeting in the hospital bed as she wiped her eyelids clean. "I'm sorry, it's just... I saw inside his soul, Korra. He opened himself to me just like I did to him and... it was horrifying. Like every single nightmare I've ever had, every ounce of pain I feel, amplified a million times. And the worst part is that he's getting stronger."
Korra looked at her with concern as she spoke, her eyebrows furrowing in response. "What do you mean?" she said, wondering what kind of terrors she had to face to find out.
"When he's... inside," Asami said, the words struggling to escape her lips, like even now Shin La was still in control. "You don't get pushed to the side. You're an active participant in your own abduction. When he tried to have power over you, it was violent. Because you've already merged with a spirit."
"That spirit being Raava," Korra nodded.
"Yes. But with me, and I'd say Mako and Bolin, it just happens. We don't have an entity within to protect us. And it's not like in the movers or the stories where the hero gets taken over by the bad guy and they have to dig deep and wrest back control. Shin La does not take over the conscious side of the brain, he merely uses your body as a puppet, to do whatever he commands. And you can do nothing but watch, imprisoned within your own skin."
The way she spoke sent shivers down Korra's spine. Her description was so surreal, so haunting, like a monster with an encroaching monster and no escape. "And that's how he's getting stronger?"
"No," Asami shooke her head, as if now was the most difficult part to talk about. "You'd think that, when he merges with you, he takes over you. The reality is much more frightening. Instead of repelling the invasion, your body welcomes it. Shin La is all you need," she said, bowing her head almost in shame. "Your heart doesn't need to beat, your brain doesn't need to function. Your blood becomes the essence of the demon. And the worst thing is the feeling, it's... wonderful. All the grief, all the bad things you feel, they all just go away. Disappear. And without his influence, the pain is crippling. Like he's a drug, a sort of life saving medicine you can't give up. Until you are utterly reliant on him. He does not become you. You become him."
Tears started to fall from her shallow eyes. "He sucks the life out of you, Korra. Call it cliché, call it weak. But he does. You feel as if you can't live without him. And me, in all my grief, in all my despair, I couldn't fight him. All my demons, all my dark thoughts attracted him like a moth to a flame."
She had started to cry now, not heartbroken sobs or pitiful gasps. Just a pent up release of emotion, that had been no doubt bottled up for weeks now. Korra's heart twisted to see her in such pain as she wrapped her arms around her.
"I can't lose you," she said shakily.
"You won't," Korra reassured her.
Korra wanted to make her believe it. Wanted to see her smile again. She was tired of seeing Asami hurt.
Even so, she had no idea what to expect next from her encouragement.
So when Asami kissed her, she was flabbergasted.
It wasn't how she... expected. But then again, Korra had no idea what to feel. The only thing she felt were the moshpit of nerves and excitement settling in her stomach. She responded, getting over her surprise, feeling Asami's soft lips mesh with hers.
And as suddenly as she had kissed her, Asami pulled away.
The two women almost seemed to study each other, unsure of what to say or how to go forward. It had just been so... surprising. Was it bad? No. Certainly not. But different? Not what she expected?
She wished her mind would just hurry up and decide.
After about a minute of awkward silence and quiet staring, Asami spoke.
"I had to know," she said, this time her head remained unbowed, facing Korra as she revealed her heart to her. "I had to know what it felt like. We've faced death way too many times, and we're going to face it again real soon. I couldn't keep wondering, what if? I was losing my mind, sat here not knowing what I felt, how I felt, about you."
Korra gulped, eyes blinking in uncertainty. "And what did you find out?"
"That... I don't know," she shrugged, as she tried to pinpoint what she wanted to say. "I've seen the way you look at me. You never were subtle," she chuckled, providing much needed levity into the conversation. Even though she felt so open, so raw with emotion, Korra couldn't help but smile. "But I don't know if I feel the same way about you in that romantic way. I thought that would make it clear. But it didn't, and now I feel even more confused."
Korra was respectfully quiet. Even with her own racing heartbeat, she could appreciate where the woman was coming from. She'd just lost her father, after finally reconnecting with him after years of hate and estrangement. Then Shin La had shown up and kidnapped and tortured herself and her closest friends. Add in loads of indecisive feelings into the pot and you had a whirlpool of stress and confusion. No wonder Asami wanted answers.
"Let's get this simple," she said, jolting Korra out of her own thoughts. "I love you, Korra," she said, and for the first time in weeks a wide smile graced her lips. "You know that by now. I don't know if I can be your lover, your partner because... I don't know if I can feel that way with a woman. But that fact is crystal clear. I love you like the sister I never had. And I will not lose you against this demon," she finished resolutely, clasping the Avatar's hand with renewed strength.
Korra's wide blue eyes glistened with unshed tears. But they were happy ones. Because it felt like she had her friend back. And be what may, she agreed with her. She couldn't lose Asami either, whatever she would be in the future, partner or lover.
What neither of them saw was the pain in Mako's face as he stopped looking through the doorway and walked down the corridor.
Pain.
Mako was all too familiar with it. He'd first experienced it long ago, when ashes were all that remained of his family. He'd felt it when his firebending first manifested itself into something he couldn't control. He'd felt it physically and mentally, with the knife wound he had recently sustained only an example.
But none stung quite like this.
This was soul shattering. Mind destroying. He'd rather be possessed a thousand times by Shin La in place of this. And he had no idea it would hurt this much.
And so, instead of walking into the room like he planned, he left. Instead of consoling his brother, he walked by. Opal was in there anyway, and he didn't want to see them together. Their interactions brought too many familiar memories to the surface, memories he thought he'd buried.
He had a pale complexion, but even so he probably looked like a ghost. It would reflect how he felt. Empty, hollow.
Lifeless.
He walked and walked, ignoring the various people in the hallway. Lin looked at him sceptically as he passed but he paid her no notice. He wanted, needed, to be alone right now.
His legs kept walking until he had scaled the roof, the open window allowing him to climb up onto the tiles. The warm morning air brushed his hair in a light breeze. The sun shone lazily, making it's slow ascent of the sky. He stared. For the longest time, he just stared.
And then he let it all out in one horrible wail.
Arms outstretched, head thrown to the sky, he let it all out in one fiery scream. All his pain, all his heartbreak. There might have even been a couple of tears. Mako didn't cry often. He didn't cry when they broke up the first time. He was now.
When he finished, his whole body shook with exhaustion. His body had been through too much in one night. He hadn't got any sleep, save the unconsciousness Shin La had forced on him. His mind, his form, they had been under too much strain.
He leant forward precariously, his figure nearly tipping over the edge. He scrambled back quickly, before he lost his footing. He didn't know what the answer was. Mistakenly killing himself was not even a remote one.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed that he'd had help recovering his balance.
"You okay?" Lin asked grimly, as she retracted the wire. She got no response.
"All right, let me rephrase that," she said. "You do not look even remotely fine. Your eyes are puffy, something I've never seen. And you damn nearly killed yourself with that little tantrum of yours. You're going to tell me why."
Mako was in no mood to talk. And she knew that. "Go away."
"If it's Korra, then tough luck kid. You had your chance, now you just have to deal with it."
"How the fuck am I supposed to deal with it?" he retorted aggressively, suddenly stalking towards her, so lost in his heart wrenching fury that he had forgotten who he was talking to. "How the hell would you know anyway?!"
Immediately, he felt ashamed. Of course she knew what it felt like. Lin's harsh stare bore into him, studying him, like he was a suspect ready for an interrogation, and she had to decide which angle to approach him from.
"I know perfectly well, Mako," she replied, the fact that she was using his name indicating the sincerity of the conversation. "I know more than anybody how it feels to see the one you love in the arms of another."
"I... I'm sorry," he said after a minute, his rage receding. "I shouldn't have shouted like that."
"No, you shouldn't have," she responded, her eyebrow arching. "But I'll excuse it. I know your pain."
"If you do, then how... how am I supposed to deal with all this? How can I watch the two of them together and just..." he trailed off, almost afraid to confirm it with his own words.
"You may just be jumping to conclusions, kid. But if you aren't, then I can't lie. It's going to be tough. You see them, and your thoughts just run away from you. You think about all the times you had together, all the times that you now will never see again. Could have beens and maybes dominate your mind, until you can't think. You want to hate them, but you can't. You want to love them, but you feel betrayed because they chose another. And then you feel ashamed for ever feeling that way."
Mako stayed quiet at her words. "And I can see you love her," she continued. "That will not make it any easier."
He was silent for a long time, stoic but calmer. "Thanks," he mumbled after a while.
"No problem," she said. "But that wasn't the reason I followed you up here. I've got something to keep your mind off it if you want. But I have to warn you. You may not like what we're hearing."
"What is it?" he asked, as he sued his sleeve to wipe the tears away.
"We have reports of a spirit causing chaos in the upper levels of the city," she said grimly. "And a trail of bodies lay in his wake. It's Shin La, Mako, and he's growing more powerful. And we think we know why."
Pain. Mako had experienced too much of it in too short a time. He gritted his teeth, even as his blood chilled cold. Shin La would answer for that pain.
Even if he had nothing to do with Mako's real torment.
The library's bookshelves were vast, filled to the brim with knowledge. Information of legends long ago and stories of the distant future littered the shelves, while archaic texts competed on how history had shaped the world. Questions and answers about the origin of bending, the mystery of the Spirit World and the often told tale of the Great War.
It was so boring.
Shin La surmised that mortals were dull, always needing something to fill their shallow little minds, be it fact or fiction. Was this how they escaped their own pitiful lives, by immersing themselves in a world of folly and fantasy? Projecting themselves onto their favourite heroes, wishing they could be similar to their made up perception of beauty and courage. Sad, sad beings, he thought.
But that wasn't what was disheartening. No, the real tragedy was the lack of truth within the walls. The sheer amount of estimations and falsehoods about the Spirit World astounded Shin La. Humans had active imaginations. They'd used them.
What was worse, and what he feared, was the lack of a very real presence.
Himself.
Not one tome, not one book or measly chapter could he find about himself. It was like he'd never existed. He knew he was old, but... did mortals really forget that easily?
"Excuse me, young man," the librarian interrupted his inner musings. "Can I help you with something?"
Shin La glance at the man, Tan Shi, the label on his cloak giving the name away. The way he spoke annoyed Shin La. He was an old man, kept up only by his creaking bones and arrogant demeanour. His cloak, a long green and yellow garment, covered his tired wizened body. Even Shin La didn't want to find out his secrets. He was decrepit, something the demon wanted to avoid altogether.
He frowned at the 'young man' part before he looked down. Ah yes, he thought. The young man's body he'd borrowed indeed fit that description. Scruffy cloak and muddy shoes. A rough accent, one the librarian was not accustomed to. A boy, really, who had a lot of life to give.
"As a matter of fact, yes," he answered, not missing the look of surprise from the librarian. "Have you ever heard of the name Shin La?"
His reaction was not one the demon liked. Instead of crushing despair, instead of horrible dread the old man reacted with a little chuckle. "I'd imagine you would have more experience with that," he pointed out snidely. "Shin La is nothing but a cautionary children's tale, boy. And not a very good one, at that. He would wear the guise of others, stealing the young that strayed too far from their homes. A story to ward kids off strangers. Nothing more."
He kept up a calm facade, but inside Shin La was quaking in anger. Was that all he was to them? A forgotten bogeyman, to be laughed at and considered fiction?! "Nothing more," he echoed, almost unaware that the librarian was still present, the young man's lighter tone smothered in the dark growl the phantom possessed.
"Quite," the librarian agreed. "Now, if you don't mind. I would ask that you leave. Your presence is upsetting the others."
Shin La was not in the mood to be trifled with. Just because the body he chose didn't meet the old man's criteria was not something he wanted to deal it. "I am upsetting you, am I?" he chuckled, looking beyond to see men and women dressed in fancy clothes, eying him with trepidation. "Well, you have just upset me. And you ask me to leave, when I would prefer I stay. Why, might I ask?" he said, the formal words at odds with the street accent.
"You have brought mud in on the floor, you have unkempt clothing and your staring into the distance has unsettled the other people here. I would ask that you leave quietly, before I am forced to take more drastic action," the librarian warned with frustration, ignorant of the knowledge that he was cautioning one of the most dangerous creatures in existence.
Shin La merely laughed. "Do you know why I came here?" he asked, completely disregarding the threat. "I wanted to see what you know, what you think you know. And I have come away unsurprisingly disappointed. But what has been new to me, I found very interesting."
"I shall call the-"
"You see, right now I need you piteous little creatures," he interrupted him, his smile growing wider as he made his way to windows. "But I am going to bring about a world where I don't. I will be active all the time, free to show my true form whenever I wish," he continued, as the old man signalled for security. "But for now, I shall rectify your mistake. I shall show you how Shin La deals with the insolence beneath him."
And with that, he yanked the curtains closed, the early morning light shut out of the room of the library, just as the security arrived.
"Time for you to leave!" the security woman said, taking a bending stance just in case. It wouldn't do her much good.
"Don't worry," Shin La replied. "I will."
What happened next was something that neither the guard nor librarian could explain. They could only watch in confusion and growing horror as the figure in front of them went rigid, neck snapped up to the ceiling, an empty expression in his eyes.
Before them, the healthy young man began to age. He grew taller, the moan in his throat growing deeper, his shoulders broadening. Then rapidly, too rapidly, his back began to crack, hunching in old age. Wrinkles spread through his skin, the healthy tanned skin fading to rich brown, growing dusty with old age. His black hair greyed and his teeth grew rotten, before finally his groans came to a halt.
In an instant, a young man of twenty five became a man of ninety. He took one step, before he collapsed in front of them.
The door behind the stunned people shut, leaving them alone with the demon. The guard conjured up a flame to illuminate the darkness.
"Ah," they heard a figure sigh, before the shadow of Shin La began to emerge from behind the decrepit old corpse, walking slowly to maximise their terror. "Delicious."
And in an instant, the bogeyman of a cautionary children's tale stood before them, his ceremonial cloak covering his dark form, in all his spectral glory. "Tell me," he asked, his deep, confident voice back. "In your stories, did I look like this?"
The guard wasted no more time, summoning a fireball to lob at the monster.
Shin La merely flinched as it passed harmlessly through him, continuing on to hit the bookshelf behind, setting the tomes alight. In retaliation, a tendril emerged from behind his back and slammed into the guard, sending her crashing through the door.
"Go," he said tonelessly.
She didn't try to come at him again. Instead she ran, yelling at the rest of the people to get out. The librarian, after a moment of shock, followed her example.
"Not you."
He never got there. With one arm raised Shin La commanded the door to his will, bringing it back and covering the exit, leaving the old man to weakly hit the door in desperation.
It didn't budge. All he could do was turn back and pray for mercy.
"Who-who are you?" the librarian asked, all irritable snark absent from his voice, replaced with trembling fear.
"You know," Shin La responded. "You probably wished you knew sooner. But then again, you might have laughed."
The librarian fell to his knees, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. "Please," he stammered, crawling towards the spirit. "Spare me. I'm an old man, what could you possibly gain from taking my life?"
"You are old, with not much power left in you to begin with. That will not stop me taking it."
"Power?" Tan Shi said in disbelief. "What power? I'm not even a bender! What power could I possess worth taking?"
"There is power in all things," Shin La dismissed. "Something you as a race barely understand. Zaheer was impertinent, but he was informed. The rest of you are so ignorant, willing to accept these things in ways that only you can see them. I'm not just taking your life, I'm taking your soul."
"I can help you," he pleaded. He backed up into the door as Shin La approached. The demon put out his hand.
"Yes, you can."
And then the old man saw black. Years of memories, years of life fell into the void that was Shin La. And just before he consumed him entirely, the phantom stopped. Something, a little nugget of knowledge in the corner of Tan Shi's brain interested him.
Hmmm... Intriguing.
Tan Shi was not a man who knew of spirits. Therefore he was of no use to Shin La. But he knew someone who did. He scoured his brain for any worthwhile information, any clue how to find him.
He was on honeymoon. Due back, coincidently, tomorrow. A man who had worked with the female dictator Shin La kept hearing about, a man who had figured out how to harness the energy of the spirit vines.
And then, finally he unearthed his name.
Varrick.
Shin La smiled. He had found his next target.
So, I'm going to sort a few things out now. Have I gone full Korrasami? No. Will I end up going for Makorra? I'm not sure yet. The reason that kiss happened is because of the story. I say this because I don't want people to stop reading simply because they believe their favourite couple will not be presented. I'm still deciding on which one to go for. That moment will be a factor in both Korra's relationship with them.
Also, to any people who may think it will be a three way relationship... Em, no. Just... Ew. Not what I'm going for. Just in case that needed clearing up :)
Thanks for reading, and please do review!