Chapter 4: Lies, damned lies and ballistics
Danny
For those of you who are new to Tokyo-3, a plugsuit is basically a scuba suit. It's an extremely high-tech layering of synthetic rubbers and polymers. It functions as a pilot suit, leather body armor. It's both an insulant and an electrical conductor where appropriate.
It's also form-fitting, to the extent that it's skintight. Keep this in mind when imagining certain female factors who are yet to be introduced wearing their plugsuits.
Plugsuits also come with hair clips. Electrically conductive, very useful to Evangelion piloting, but not very flattering to the male form, especially for a kid like Shinji, who hasn't had much access to testosterone yet, and so doesn't have much muscle to fill up his slight frame.
'Course, I'm not witnessing Shinji struggling to put on the plugsuit right now, because I'm stuck in Gendo Ikari's office, waiting for him to come talk to me.
The Commander's office is quite the place. The ceiling and floor are covered in ornate artistry. It looks like a religious tree thing. I'll have to ask Tucker about what it means as soon as this day is over. It's a miracle you can even see the beautiful art, though. The place is poorly lit, most likely on purpose as an intimidation tactic.
Gendo Ikari himself isn't here yet. I'm assuming he's out watching his son fight the... Angel in that giant purple abomination, the Evangelion. Just thinking about the sheer presence that thing exuded gives me the shivers all over again.
I suppress a shudder and have another look around. Hm, Ikari has a big desk with a big chair. The 'purposefully intimidating office' hypothesis is gaining credence by the minute. I'm starting to suspect that keeping me waiting is part of that package too.
I look up and to the side at the man standing in waiting next to Ikari's desk. He smiles back with a hint of apology. "You're Ikari's second?" I ask. The question echoes a little in the dark, musty office.
The man turns away from the window and looks at me. He's got grey, slicked back hair and a big nose. A quiet smile, he nods. "And you? Who are you?" he asks me. I think on that for a moment. What am I to him? And exactly how honest do I want to be?
Something clicks and I chuckle darkly. This guy is playing good cop to Ikari's bad cop... Er, or some permutation thereof anyway. Takes one hell of a bad cop to get inside your head without even being there. Damn bastard... I'm very happy to have supernatural powers right now.
Okay, right. I'm gonna tell this guy what Vlad told me and not an iota less. "I'm an agent of SEELE, sent here without a clue." I say, not bothering to hide my exteme annoyance at being thrown into this giant monster nonsense blind.
"I'm also the 'hero' of the Second Impact event at Amity, though I'm told you guys call it the Gomorrah incident." I add, trying to cut back on the sarcasm. I'm not sure, but I think I see the man's brow crease, even through the gloom.
Either way, my answer seems to satisfy mister good cop. He puts his inscrutable little smine back on and turns back toward the window, presumably to think on what I just said. Said window incidentally has its blinders on the 'moody Noir detective office' setting.
About a minute later, I hear him sigh deeply. He turns back toward me and I look him in the face. Backlit by the aforementioned blindered windows he looks even older then he probably is. "I'm doctor Fuyutsuki." He says to me in English, in a very British accent. "I try and help Commander Ikari run NERV and migitate his admittedly extreme measures."
I keep my jaw wired shut and nod stiffly. Fuyutsuki returns the nod, eyes closed, and continues. "This city, this Geofront is where we keep mankind from having to suffer a Third Impact. It is a grueling job, I assume you realize." His kind voice carries an undertone of bitterness. "Sometimes, sacrifices are genuinely necessary. Please keep that in mind as you pass judgement on us."
He steps forward, beyond the invisible line drawn by Ikari's desk, frowning deeply.
"You must however keep one thing in mind." He says quietly, without any malice. "If you interfere with our operations and make it more difficult for us to do our jobs..."
He pauses and exhales sharply. "...Ethical grey areas included..."
I clamp my jaw shut. I want to shut him up, tell him where he can stick his grey areas, but he'll see soon enough.
"...Then you are endangering Earth and humanity's very survival and will be punished accordingly." The grave tone in his voice is accentuated by the British accent. This subtle bastard knows a thing or two about gravitas. Good cop my ass.
I frown at him, but nod slowly. "I don't want humanity and Earth suffering another mass exctinction event." Involuntarily, my brow falls into a scowl and emotions kept at the back of my throat well up. "More then just not wanting," I correct myself, "There won't be a Third Impact! Not while I'm here to stop it!" I half shout.
Fuyutsuki chuckles heartily and turns away again. "Big words, but I like the sentiment." He says into the stale air. "I hope Ikari gets here soon." He adds in a lower tone.
You and me both, old man. You and me both.
Shinji
I'm all but shoved into a dressing room by someone who looks almost as confused and panicked as I am. Not their fault, obviously. I wouldn't think a fourteen-year-old kid would be anyone's salvation either.
I'm told to put on what looks and feels like a rubber diving suit, complete with (apparently neuro-conductive) hair clips. I'm told to clamber into a large white tube and sit on the big metal pilot's chair.
These things I do without question, because these are smart people and they know what they're doing, even it seems to me... even if it would seem to the average person, that this entire situation is completely absurt... But I do what has to be done to try and help save the city. Can't really do much more.
So now I'm seated on the big metal pilot's chair in the large white tube known as the 'entry plug'. I'm guessing this is the part that goes into the giant robot. '...Artificial human'. I remember the half-insane scientist woman's ramblings and frown. Daniel, you better not break your promise.
I've kept my panic under control so far. But now thick, sticky orange fluid starts leaking into the entry plug from holes in the plug wall. I manage to resist the desire to jump off the chair and clamber onto the backrest to escape the warm, metallic-smelling liquid lapping at my thighs.
What the hell are these people doing? Is there a malfunction? Is this machine oil or something Is it going to drown me? I shout out in a panic, a garbled squeak that sounds more like 'Eeep, a mouse!' then anything manly.
Doctor Akagi's voice reverberates through the entry plug to answer my childish squeal."What you're seeing is LCL." She clarifies. "It's a hyper-oxygenated liquid that provides the pilot with the ideal enviroment for life. It is a shock absorbent, a-"
"Pardon, doctor Akagi..."
Normally, I am not comfortable interrupting my elders, but I remembered what Daniel said. None of this makes any sense. This entire city is insane.
But that doesn't matter right now because apparently I'm what they need.
And I will do my job. I will obey orders and do what I'm told today.
Because it's what has to be done. And maybe I can be Shinji again tomorrow. Maybe I can be scared again tomorrow. Maybe I can understand what the fuck- pardon... is going on tomorrow.
But today I have a job to do.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to know: 'hyper-oxygenated' means I'm supposed to just breathe it, yes?"
"Yes, Shinji." I can all but hear her smile at me though the radio.
"Don't worry. Take slow, controlled breaths. Every human spent their first nine months breathing liquid and the LCL is literally made for this task."
Technically true. The best kind of true. I choose not to remark to doctor Akagi that human children also have their umbilical cord to act as a snorkel during those first nine months, nor do I choose to remark that they might as well have called this stuff amniotic fluid. At least its presence in the entry plug helps explain the rubber suit.
Instead of arguing, I breathe in, then out, slowly. I'm trying trying to fill my blood and muscles with as much air as I can. I've had a few panic attacks when I was a kid. My Aunt taught me a breathing exercise. Wasn't always useful, but now it certainly comes in handy.
When the amniot- er, fine, LCL is up to my lips, I breathe out through my nose, slowly, eyes closed, then I slouch in my chair so that my mouth and nose are completely submerged and I slowly breathe in...
Only when my lungs are completely expanded do I allow my self to cough, and cough I do, into the syrupy, bloodlike soup of life.
Outside the purple Evangelion, technicians are busy thawing it out of cold storage.
Evangelions are stored in a freezer for two reasons. One, the artifical human's biologial components start rotting if left uncooled for too long. Two, active Evangelions are dangerous things, so it's best to minimize the amount of time needed for them to be up and mobile.
"You are about to be launched by magnetic catapult up to the surface. Once there, you will need to fight the Angel." Ritsuko Akagi says to me in her best attempt at a 'giving orders' voice.
Her fear that this will all go horribly wrong does seep through, though... I frown. As a soldier, as a responsible person, as the person who's gonna try to save this crazy person's life... It's my job to reassure her, isn't it?
"I will do my best, thank you for your help." ...Is what I would have said. But I'm underwater (or what passes for water) so no sound comes out. I try and palm my face in embarassed frustration.
And then I feel it.
I move my arm up, to palm my face again and... Oh wow. The Evangelion's arm just twitched. "Feels like I have two bodies... what is this?" I ask, again without sound.
"Your mind is sychronizing with the Evangelion, at a ratio higher then what I expected. Doctor Akagi sounds pleasantly suprised. "In layman's terms, your intuitive motions contro the..." The blond scientist stops herself. I hear a frustrated sigh. "Er, in real layman's terms: Yes, the Evangelion is for all intents and purposes a second body for you now."
"Also, we can hear what you're trying to say. When you try to talk, the computer picks it up and talks for you. Nothing fancy, paralyzed peple have been able to do it for years." She says with a hint of pride in her voice. Good, that seems to have gotten her mind off the Kaiju outside for the moment. I give her a big smile and nod in thanks. They probably have cameras in this thing anyway, so she can probably see the gesture no problem.
One point for Soldier Shinji and we're not even out of the gate yet.
I try and focus on the Evangelion body outside my own to prepare for... what was it Akagi said again? Something about magnets? The sensation of having limbs the size of office buildings completely overwhelms my senses.
There's a comforting glow at the back of my head and apparently my mind alone is able to move around a giant 'artificial human' body. Which would explain the electroconductive properties of the plugsuit and the hair clips, I suppose.
A fist larger then a car squeezes shut. I feel a gigantic forearm tense up as I clench my fist... I see lights glitter in front of my eyes. It looks like a rainbow and gives me one hell of a headache. It's like staring into the sun... Ack... After a few painful moments, my mind-body adjusts and I am looking out the Eva's eyes... It's a wider field of view... In infrared and ultraviolet and... oh wow this is very impressive... And it feels like second nature already.
And then it hits me... Well of course it would feel natural. This 'artificial human' has a memory, and that's why it feels like I've done this all a thousand times before.
I swallow some of the briny fluid in a gulp. Well... This is not scary at all. Nope, just another asset Soldier Shinji can use to beat that Kaiju to death. Not existentially horrifying at all...
Suddenly, my Evangelion body is locked in place by... bolts? My train of thought is obliterated when I'm suddenly up to the surface at tremendous speeds. The feeling of having control over an Evangelion distracted me from Ritsuko's warning that I would be shot toward the surface by catapult.
So I am not prepared for the shock of sudden acceleration, amplified by the huge body I am now controlling. I squeak in suprise and panic again, unvocalized but certainly heard as I shoot up to the surface of Tokyo-3. Steel panels fly by as I rocket up the elevator shaft.
A memory at the back of my head fires. "Five, four, three, two, one... Thunderbirds are go..." A giant red rocket and marionettes...
The presence at the back of my head seems to twist and poof, the memory's gone...
As the rapid transit system comes to a sudden stop and the bolts unlock, I'm still too overwhelmed to wonder... Where the hell is Misato?
What I am able to think about, if only barely, is that I have to kill a giant monster. For most kids, this would be a childhood fantasy come true. Minus the smell of blood up my nose and the vertigo from the sensory dissonance, of course. I, however, have a problem when it comes to fighting stuff. Psychologically, I mean.
As a kid, I never had the experience of being 'stronger then X.' Except maybe animals, but I'm not going to hurt little animals to try and feel big. For Shinji Ikari, 'fight' has come to mean 'loss'.
I'm a smart kid prone to introspection, so I know that life has taught me to fear conflict, especially combat. But I have a duty I need to fulfill, so if I had to, I'd push through my fear and go insane with fear and rage if I had to...
I wonder what that Kaiju would do if a... what's the word... a berserker... a rage-warrior, came at it inside a sixty-foot metal monster. That would be an interesting thing to experience, and overall a nice way to die. But that's not plan A today.
Because I am trying so hard to focus on the words 'duty, for now' I've managed to synchronize with the Eva far better then I perhaps otherwise would have. So giving into my panic and fighting like a cornered rat is now officially plan B.
Plan A involves the Evangelion's mind-body, its experience and instincts. I can feel its anger, and something else... almost between that giant body and me... a cold fury. So there's fear-anger, hunger-anger and calculating anger all inside this giant purple monster that made even Daniel flinch.
I intend to discard what my body knows about fighting, instead focusing on those other presences to learn from them. The giant monster that I can feel in every muscle... the desire to beat and bash and slash... And the thing that sees, that calculates attack vectors... I'll let their instincts take charge, especially the second one. I'll focus as hard as I can on fighting smart.
Or if that goes wrong, I'll just go mad and fight stupid.
The Angel Sachiel steps into my field of view. I jerk my head an inch.. or, well, a few feet... to the side and size it up. We're about the same height, and have the same lanky build. ...We'll be wading through buildings... Oh god...
I try and take a step forward, my (Evangelion) foot lands wrong and I fall on my face.
Time slows. I feel my Evangelion body hit the (literal) deck. Asphalt scatters and concrete cracks. I feel a sting of pain on my face.
My real face. My lip... ow! My upper lip is torn. How did that happen? I feel that Unit 01 is hurt in the same spot, but a little worse then me, despite the armor.
"Your mental synchronization with Unit 01 means that if the Evangelion is damaged, you will suffer psychostigmatic injuries." Doctor Akagi adds out of the blue, startling me a little.
Doesn't she mean psychosomatic... Wait, what?
"Say again?"
A groan of annoyance from Akagi. "If the Evangelion gets hurt, so will you."
Yeah, I thought that was was she said...
"Eh, yeah, thanks..."
Oh god, I'm not even safe inside the giant robot... Artificial Human. Robots don't have tendons, and I can feel Unit 01's tendons flex as I try and push myself up from the street.
By this point, evening has fallen and the sky is orange-red. A shadow falls over Unit 01. I look up through the Evangelion's eyes at the source of the shadow that's fallen over me and see the Angel Sachiel walking toward me.
I shiver in fear. I've got someone's attention. I'm in a new body, with hundreds of people counting on me, and all I can think of is a handful of memories where someone took notice of me and beat me up for whatever stupid reason bullies have.
I generally prefer to avoid attention... I hate being in the spotlight. Still, I've gotta defend myself, I suppose. I'm stuck in this position anyway, so I might as well give it a try. They've built the Eva, and they think I can do it, so...
Hm, Eva. good abbreviation, I'm keeping it.
Then something clicks. My body's fears are replaced with Unit-01's near endless anger.
My body shakily stumbles to its feet. The presence at the back of my head is cold as ice, looking through my eyes. Unit 01 huffs a challenge at the Angel, lifting its head out of the Angel's shadow. The the sun's orange light shines into my eyes and I realize: I'm standing up!
YES! It's working! The Eva will sort itself out. All I have to do is stay focused on the-
WHAM.
It all goes white for a moment. Then black. Biological and synthetic systems recalibrate and my vision returns.
My jaw, my real jaw just suffered a hairline fracture. Evangelion Unit 01's jaw pretty much got shattered by Sachiel's uppercut. The pain is dazed by a mix of adrenaline, willpower and an injection of combat stimulants, but the momentary dizziness causes me to fall backward onto and into a not-completely-empty building. Images are captured by the cold presence at the back of my head, but are kept in reserve. The beast wouldn't care and the child is busy suffering.
Unaware that the Angel punched me into someone's home, I shift my weight and jump back up, only to have my shoulder pieced by a lance of pink, liquid light. I can feel the searing plasma boil through the sinew around my Evangelion shoulder joint. My real shoulder is similairly hurt. My vision narrows, I see a tunnel of black form around my eyes.
And my Evangelion's vision is briefly replaced with a short string of... pictures, impressions... that flew across my field of view just moments ago.
A building's façade, the Eva's giant purple face reflected in all the windows.
Shattered concrete, rebar and glass.
Flying furniture, water and gas bursting from hoses, cables snapping.
A little girl, an old woman, a young married couple, a cat and its owner, a bunch of people...
All falling, covered in rubble, knocked into the back wall or... oh god...
I can feel my hand grip the side of a parking garage to arrest my fall and I come to a conclusion.
This monster has to die. It won't be hard to kill it. Not for my body, my mind or my soul. I can see Sachiel rear back for another punch. I don't panic. The images are in my head, clear as glass.
I move, with reflexes my real body doesn't have and a strength that can tear apart skyscrapers. No thought in it, nor any fear. This is a new body, not burdened by Shinji Ikari's learned response, but instead gifted with implanted targeting computers.
I catch its claw in my hands, inches from my face. I feel my forearms take the shock, and I see a different kind of shock from Sachiel as its expressionless mask tilts sideways a fraction. It's suprised.
"First time for everything..." I quip voicelessly, without really meaning to verbalize, but I can hear Ritsuko chuckle over the radio. Behind her, I hear cheering. I can't help but smile a little despite the pain.
Sachiel suddenly yanks its arm back, but I'm still holding on, or at least straining to.
Whoa, this guy is even stronger then expected! Unit 01 stumbles forward, struggling to find grip on the city streets as the Angel tries to yank its arm free.
I don't track its other arm. Rookie mistake. He bonks me over the head with it and despite my best efforts my vision goes black again.