I feel like I say the words, 'Finally, it's here!' a lot. So instead I'm just going to say this; Enjoy, and I hope it was worth the wait :)
"If only for a second,
Let me have you
Tell me all your secrets,
Let me know you
Paint me all your pictures,
Hang them on my wall
Show me all your colors,
Show me all
Open up your eyes,
Open up your mind,
Fall in line with what you're meant to be
A fire burns into you,
Purifying all
And what I saw was opulence,
And that's not for me
Only in summertime
Only in summertime
Things will change with time
Only in summertime
Open up your eyes
Open up your mind
Fall in line with what you're meant to be
Only in summertime
Only in summertime
Things will change with time
Only in summertime"
- "Summer" by Imagine Dragons
Korra sat stationary, watching the sun set into the west, the shimmering sphere of heat slowly sinking below the horizon. Colours abound with the added effect of the spirits living within the city. Flecks of pink and purple dotted the lazy sky as the source of light steadily disappeared from sight. It was stunning, a breathtaking display of beauty and wonder found in such a mundane, daily occurrence. Easy to forget that with this magnificence came the dusk. And with it came the horror that lay within.
It was unsettling to see how few people were also seeing this. Already, from where she sat on the roof of the hospital, she saw a fraction of the people who would normally traverse the streets below. Sure, people still walked the pebbled stone and the graveled tarmac. Cars and bikes still screeched in the night. In the shadier parts of the city, where even the hardest of police would fear to tread, business probably resumed as normal. But there was an underlying feeling of tension that came with the night now. The whole city knew it.
She'd overheard Mako talking to one of the officers from his precinct. Another shriveled husk of a body had been found, lying face down in an alleyway. Hard to identify the victim, but incredibly easy to define the killer. Another life, snuffed out like a candle flame. How many more?
She fidgeted with the wraps around her elbows. They felt unwarranted, undeserved. Her joints were sore, but in a strange way the pain was a marker, a reminder of why she wouldn't, couldn't fail again. She'd held the fate of the innocent in her hands on many occasions. Never did the burden feel as heavy as it did now.
Two weeks was the official diagnosis for her. Two weeks to rest and heal, but she and the nurse both knew that the likelihood of her staying put was nought. These next two weeks could possibly have huge emotional ramifications. She could not sit aside for that.
She'd sat back and allowed things to escalate already. Even now, as the sun set in the wispy sky she could imagine Shin La rubbing his hands in delight at another prosperous night, free to decimate and dictate people's lives as he saw fit. Another night to grow in strength for his next venomous scheme.
She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't register the hand on her shoulder. "Earth to Korra?"
She snapped her head to the right, looking up to see the pretty face framed with black luscious locks smiling down at her. "You looked a million miles away," Asami said as she sat down beside her.
"I wouldn't be surprised," Korra replied, trying for a smile of her own but ultimately failing. She looked back out to the sky. The sun was just about to hit the horizon.
When the Avatar didn't say anything else, Asami decided to approach her from a different angle. "You gone into Opal yet?"
"No," Korra shook her head. "Have you?"
"Mako and I popped our heads in to see how she was doing. I think he's still in there. Figured he'd be better with the in-depth stuff," Asami sighed.
"I see," Korra said. "How's Opal?"
Asami shrugged her shoulders. Korra still had a faraway look in her eyes. "She'll live. Her injuries weren't life threatening. Just resting right now. She'll be fine, really. It's not like..." Asami trailed off, almost afraid to say the name.
"Lin," Korra finished for her, her face as gloomy as the situation.
"It isn't your fault," Asami said, turning to look her in the eye more intently. "You know that, right?"
"Sure," Korra replied. "That's what you think. I wouldn't say that the rest of them have the same view."
Asami sighed. "Bolin shouldn't have just ignored you like that. And Tenzin, Jinora, Mako, we understand. Bolin's just playing into Shin La's hand, using you as a scapegoat for the real perpetrator. Just as he wants."
Korra shook her head doubtfully. "This is what he said would happen," she murmured, and Asami's ears had to strain to hear her words. "This is what Shin La implicitly promised he'd do. And now he has. And it was all so... easy. All he had to do was target Mako, target Opal and wham! He goes from being from one of my closest friends to hating my guts in a matter of days. And the worst part? I can't blame him. I can't reflect back on him. He's every right to despise me for what I've done."
"For what Shin La's done," Asami disagreed. "It's far too easy to blame you. You're here in front of him, able to communicate and soak up the abuse. To Bolin, Shin La is untouchable right now. Anything he says to spite him could result in more violence, at least in his eyes. Far better to play into his hands, do what he knows the demon wants him to do."
"Shin La took control of Opal," Korra responded. "He didn't make me do anything. Her actions were the result of the demon. My actions belong to myself, and only myself. Look at my hands, Asami," she said, opening her palms and flexing her fingers to show the dark spot on her palm and the bruised knuckles on her side. "That's the proof. No Avatar State or demon made these. Just me."
Asami opened her mouth to say something, but found her words drowned out by another. "Excuse me , young lady," Katara said as she walked up to them. "My apologies for interrupting. But if I could just have a moment of Korra's time?"
Asami looked back and forth, before nodding her approval. "Thanks, Katara," she smiled as she stood up. "Maybe you can convince her. I don't think I can right now." With that, her footsteps faded away as she opened the door behind them and went back down into the hospital.
Unlike Asami, Katara did not sit down next to her. Instead the old waterbender shared the same view of the sky as the sun went down.
Korra waited for her to speak, but for the longest time there was silence. She glanced up to see Katara thoughtfully looking out to the sea. She waited a few more moments before impatience won out. "Not going to ask how I'm doing?" she prodded.
Katara finally moved her head pensively, looking at her with a bit of surprise. "Why would I? I know exactly how you are doing, sweet."
"And how would you know that?"
"Because as different as you and Aang are," she smiled. "You do share some traits. The most obvious one being your ability to blame yourself for a perceived failure."
"Nothing perceived about it," Korra sighed. "I lost control. I allowed myself to become so focused on defeating Shin La that I completely forgot about Opal. And she paid the price for it."
"You know, the concept of blame has always fascinated me. We are so determined to have someone responsible for an action that we will destroy ourselves pointing the finger instead of trying to find solutions. That is all that is happening right now. Bolin is upset, and so are you. Give it time."
Korra looked at her sceptically. "That would be easier to believe if the Avatar State hadn't gone crazy on me," she sighed.
The first crease in Katara's forehead surfaced as she grimaced slightly. "The Avatar State did not abandon you, Korra. It simply did its job."
"What do you mean?"
"Contrary to popular belief, the Avatar State is not some otherworldly level of power you achieve in a fit of rage. It can certainly be called upon when angered, but it has many triggers and purposes," Katara explained. "Yes, fury can result in it. But also fear. Determination. And of course, when your life is in danger."
"That doesn't explain why I nearly killed Opal."
Yes, Korra, it does. This time, the Avatar State was called by your immense pain. It wasn't planned, you weren't ready or braced for it. It was a shock to you and your body, and with Aang and the rest of the Avatar's back it acted accordingly. And the Avatar State is always, always more dangerous untriggered."
"So... what?" Korra asked helplessly. "How do I stop something that turns my greatest weapon against me?"
"You could start by not blaming yourself for everything that's happened," Katara motioned kindly. "I suppose you and Aang are similar. You take the burden of the whole world on your shoulders, constantly refusing to lighten the load. I have lived a long time now, Korra. I've learnt a few things, and one of them is that, no matter how hard you try, bad things happen. Evil, evil men and women will continue to rise up and destroy. People will die. Friends will die. And sometimes, villains such as this Shin La simply cannot be stopped."
Korra looked at her, the small beacon of hope within slowly starting to sputter and fade. But Katara wasn't finished.
"But the good you do will always outweigh the bad. I had to explain this to Aang once. The pendulum of good and evil will always hang in the balance. If there is an abundance of darkness and desperation, heroes like yourself will rise to lighten up the world and bring back prosperity. In the days of peace, there will always be some warlord plotting to tear it all down. And what you fail to see right now Korra is that Shin La has not won. Not even in the slightest."
"How can you say that?" Korra asked. "He's attacked us, Lin, Opal and who knows how many other people in this city. And so far every time we cross paths it ends in defeat."
Katara pondered her words, before looking her right in the eye. "Let me ask you something," she said. "Are you alive?"
"Yes," Korra answered, not really understanding what the old waterbender meant.
"Good. Are Mako and Asami alive?"
"Yes, but-"
"Is Opal alive? Is Bolin alive? Has Lin been pronounced dead?"
"Well yes, and yes. But I nearly killed her! And Lin is in a coma!"
"There is nothing you could have done to prevent what happened to Lin," Katara remarked sadly. "But everything else there? Each time you faced down Shin La and emerged victorious. You survived his trap, without yielding to the impossible choice he provided you. You kept Opal alive when Shin La easily could have killed her. They do not sound like defeats to me."
Korra wanted to reply, but she was at a loss for words. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. She closed it and brought her hand to her head, deep in thought as the words sunk in.
"Do not be so hard on yourself," Katara advised, making as if to leave, like her work was done. "And do not be so apprehensive about facing Bolin over Opal. Tell him what has happened, and he will understand. He may not agree right away, but he will come around. Time heals all wounds."
With that, Katara left the rooftop, exiting through the same door Asami did earlier. Korra turned back to the sky. The pink clouds had turned spectral, as the moon began to shine.
Wordlessly, Korra got up from her sitting position and followed the old woman downstairs. She had someone to talk to.
The room was quiet, the blinds drawn down so only little peeps of grading sunshine crept through into the room. They bounced onto the floor, lines of golden wood illuminated while the rest lay cast in shadow. A fan rotated lazily in the corner, and the air was humid from a hot autumn eve. But there was layers to it also, all concentrating on the broken body and the steady rise and fall of the airbender strewn across the bed.
The atmosphere inside the room was thick with tension, like gravity had a stronger pull. Each glance was charged with words unspoken. Eye contact was piercing when connected, heavy when avoided. The little clicks and cracks of the nervous fidgeting of fingers echoed around the room, joined only by the ragged breathing of the woman slumbering in the centre of the room.
These heaving breaths kept Bolin sane. The sure sign of her chest going up and down, inhaling and exhaling, her body's way of subconsciously telling him, yes.
Yes. I am alive. I am still here. I'm alive.
And the presence of the man sitting across from him brought his wandering thoughts back to reality.
Mako hadn't spoken a word yet. Neither had he. They seemed caught on what to say, on what they could say. Or maybe they were both sick of arguing. Not too long ago, Bolin had been the one supporting him. Now, they were left in this awkward position, with his brother wanting to help him but refusing to blame the person responsible.
And Mako seemed to realise that too. Words would only result in blind insults that neither of them truly meant. If they started to talk, they would inevitably be led to that conversation. So, instead of talking, they said nothing, hoping that presence alone was enough.
For the longest time, they said nothing.
Their silence bubbled away inside them, sizzling in the dead heat of the evening. Until finally, after at least a half hour of captured stares and uneasy glances, Bolin broke the deadlock.
"Say it."
Mako looked up, almost startled by the sudden cut to the quiet. "What?" he said.
"Say it," Bolin repeated, not looking at him but at Opal, a sign of resignation on his face. "Say what I know you want to say. It's why you're here, isn't it?"
"I'm here to support my brother," Mako replied, "And you know that. Anything else right now is irrelevant."
"I see," Bolin said, clearly unconvinced. "Not going to defend Korra?"
Mako's jaw hardened. "What is there to say?" he replied. "We both know how this is going to go. You really want to talk about this?"
"It's not that I want to," Bolin said, his head slanted to look at Opal while he kept Mako in the corner of his vision. "But some things have to be said. You agree with that, right?"
Mako stared at him for a second, before something seemed to click beneath his vision and he leant back in his chair. "I'm the wrong person to talk to about this," he said, looking at him the entire time. "Go up to Korra and say what has to be said. You'll find that won't be so easy for you."
"Easy," Bolin repeated, like he couldn't fathom the concept. "Easy. You think this is easy for me to speak the truth? No one wants to admit it except me! The reason I'm saying this to you is because for some spirits forsaken reason, you can't see past your unrequited affection. You can't admit that she's at fault, even when it's plain to see!"
"Korra shouldn't have lost control," Mako snapped, standing up to meet Bolin's heated gaze. "But she never would have in the first place if Shin La hadn't goaded Opal into attacking him. You want to say it to me, because it's easy to blame someone when they can't defend themselves. You want to say it to me because you know I won't argue with you, you know I understand where you're coming from. But don't for one second say that this is about me and her when clearly you have the issue."
"For damn good reason!" Bolin shouted, anger and frustration brewing but also desperation, like his fury was a defense mechanism as Mako got closer to the truth. "Look at her," he said, pointing at Opal's unconscious form. "I would love to say that this is Shin La's fault. I would love to say that Korra is blameless. But she isn't. When she was choosing Asami against you, I could understand. But this isn't like that! She had won! And instead of winding down, she pummelled the holy hell out of Opal till she couldn't even stand, couldn't even remain coherent because the pain was too much. How on Earth do you justify that?!"
"Stop looking at me like I have the answers!" Mako roared back. "You're right, Korra isn't blameless. But you've become so fixated on her that you're forgetting who the real enemy is. You don't even realise that you're doing exactly what he wants! Why do you think he took Opal? Why do you think he tried to kill me? Because he's getting at you, Bolin. He's tearing away at you until nothing but bitter resentment remains. And you're letting him."
Bolin was about to reply, his mouth already full of venom, but he stopped himself as he noticed the door was ajar. A rattled teenager in uniform stood in the hallway, waiting for them to stop. "What is it?" he asked, trying to take the bite out of his voice but not really succeeding. "What do you want?"
He seemed to gather himself as he was fully acknowledged. "I'm here for the Detective," he said, looking around the room at the two men. "One of the guys wanted to talk to him. Said something about electing a stand-in Chief."
Mako tried not to react, but he couldn't help the hands that came up to cover his face. "Oh great," he sighed. Everyone knew that it had to be done because of what happened, but he still didn't want to voice it, to give it definition. "Tell them I'll be right out."
The officer nodded his affirmative and promptly left, his shoes clacking against the floor as he walked, echoing down the hall. Mako turned back to say something to Bolin, but then decided against it. There wasn't anything to say.
"Going out there again?" Bolin asked as he turned to leave. "Detective Mako, on a mission to save the world."
"No," Mako dismissed. Maybe he was wrong. There was more to say. "I'm doing my job. I'm going to talk to my colleagues, the good men and women protecting this city, about electing a temporary chief because our old one was rendered comatose by a crazy, psychopathic serial killer. And while I do that, try to convince yourself Korra's the one to blame and he isn't." And with that, he opened the door and left, the wooden frame left swinging from his departure.
Bolin opened his mouth to respond, but then he closed it. Maybe he'd said enough. Or maybe he was wrong. Or was he right? The points for and against kept swirling around in his head and they refused to leave, just drumming against the inside of his skull.
He needed time to think.
For the first time in a long while, the night wind was cold against their skin.
A clear black sheet adorned the sky, with sprinkles of stars layered throughout, punctuated with a brilliant white moon. No clouds came close to blocking its light, and the tides cresting against the sandy shores of Republic City came and went with it.
Asami shivered.
"You don't have to be out here, you know," Mako said over his shoulder. "It's probably a lot warmer inside."
"Oh, I don't mind," Asami replied. "It's funny. I never really appreciated how peaceful the night can be. Now we're lucky if it doesn't swallow us whole."
"At least people are learning," Mako shrugged, as he gazed at the night sky. "With Shin La around, on top of the usual crimes around here, the police are pretty stretched. Good to know that people are taking the curfew seriously. Not like we could enforce it at the moment."
"At least Raiko didn't rescind it," she mused. "I don't want to think about what could happen if he didn't take it seriously."
"Oh he's not taking it seriously," Mako snorted in response. "Shin La may as well be a villain in a story book to them. The Council were humming and hawing and Lin just decided that the city just couldn't wait for them. Said the city had a right to know. Raiko probably would have chewed her out for it but..." At the mention of Lin his voice grew weary and a bit choked. He had to take a moment before regaining his composure. "Well she was proved right wasn't she? He wasn't going to argue after that. At least not publically."
Asami's expression turned sympathetic. "Have you visited her since?"
"Yeah," he mumbled, almost to himself. He'd stopped inspecting the body. "I poked my head in after Korra told us what happened. It was um... bad."
"I know what that feels like," Asami nodded her head. There was sorrow in her tone, but understanding at the same time. "How bad was it?"
"They... The doctors me that they're doing everything they can. I mean, most of the swelling in the muscle has gone down. And they said that with every passing day, as we learn more about proper medicine and use scientific experiments instead of old wives tales as a basis to go on, anything is possible. But she still needs assisted breathing. And that's after Katara came in to see her. They fear that she... even if she wakes up, they say..." There was something in his voice, something he didn't want to admit. Like if he spoke the words it gave them meaning and made it real.
"What?" she asked. Her voice was soft. She'd put a hand on his shoulder. "What do they say?"
"They think she'll be... paralysed," he whispered, his gaze a million miles away. "She... she might not walk again."
Asami gasped as Mako looked up at her, his face conflicted with the fact that she might live, and the kind of life she'd have to adjust to. For a woman of action like Lin, it would be crushing.
Asami had known there was something wrong with him, somehow. The fight with Bolin had only been a trigger to light his frustrations alight. And now that anger at the world had been spent, fury faded into uncertainty. For an analytic detective, that would be a nightmare.
"I'm sorry, Mako," she said solemnly. "I know how much she means to you."
"Yeah," he nodded sadly. "It's like... I'm caught between being happy that she's alive and devastated that something like that may happen. And the worst part is... Shin La's gotten away with it. No one's going to bring him in; no one's going to stop him, at least not yet. No one can. Asami, he's winning. He drops into our lives and plays with them like a kid with dolls. He could be watching us, right now, laughing at our struggle, and we'd be none the wiser. How do you fight something like that?"
"Faith, Mako," Asami responded immediately. "We can't start doubting ourselves, and we can't start doubting Korra. She's pulled through before every single time we needed her. She'll do it again. You have to believe that."
"Oh I do," Mako replied, shaking his head. "But how long? In a matter of days Bolin and Korra went from being best friends to worst enemies. And it doesn't matter that it's not really her fault. Because even if it isn't, and before you say anything, yes there was nothing more she could do," he said hastily, putting out a placating hand to her, before laying his head low and sighing. "It doesn't matter. I see it in his eyes, Asami. Bolin can't help it. He doesn't want to hate her; he doesn't want to blame her. But there's this block of resentment and bitterness inside him at what she did. Even if she couldn't help it, he sees the evidence every time he looks at Opal. And even though I'd follow Korra to the end of the earth if she asked, I... don't know how she can stop him."
"Then help her, Mako," Asami said, softly but firmly. "Help her defeat him. Teach her lightning, head that task force. Anything you can. But you can't let doubt wriggle into your mind like that, just because you're scared."
Mako swallowed the trickles of saliva down his dry throat. Despite the cold, he'd started to sweat. He didn't know why he was pouring his heart out like this. All he knew was that it felt good to relieve the burden a bit. "I'm not scared, Asami," he said. "I'm terrified. My family's here. Korra's here. You are here. Everything I care about is ripe for the picking, any time Shin La so wishes. You've been inside his head too. How does that not unnerve you?"
"Because I've already lost all that I care about," she answered back simply. "Korra and you guys are the only thing I have left. I'd fall apart at the thought of losing that. So I don't think about it. Otherwise you're right. If we don't believe we can beat him he's already won."
"Yeah, you're right," Mako conceded. "It's just... so damn easy to give in to despair. It's funny. I spent years on the streets, almost becoming desensitised to everything out there. And then when Korra came into my life, I thought I'd seen everything. Boy was I wrong."
"I can only imagine," Asami agreed, before they lapsed into silence once more. There was a question lingering in the air, and Mako knew it. He'd divulged his frustrations to her and now it was his turn to listen.
"Listen, Mako," Asami said, as she gathered her courage. What she was about to say needed to be said. "I have a question to ask you. You don't have to answer it. But I'd like to ask it nevertheless. I feel like I need to."
Mako shrugged. "Sure, go ahead."
"Do you still love Korra?"
The impact was marked. Mako almost seemed to snap his head acutely at her, his neck twisting so he could look at her properly. His eyes were wide.
"Wh-What?" he stumbled, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. He looked like he'd just been knocked on his ass in a pro-bending match. He was at a complete loss.
Asami considered dropping it, but she said it once more. "Do you still love Korra?" she repeated.
Mako visibly stiffened as she said the words again, the colour draining from his face. "Um, I... I..." he said, mumbling his words like he was struggling to come up with them. His brain wouldn't function, wrapped in... Anxiety? Nerves? What did he have to be nervous about in this situation?
You're an adult, his subconscious snapped at him. Act like one.
He took a moment to gather himself, but he responded. "Do you?"
"I... do," Asami replied. "Yeah, I do."
"Then there's your answer," he replied. "Why did you want to know?"
"No reason," Asami said, even as Mako eyed her suspiciously. "I just... think that that fact is going to become more and more important in the next few weeks. We can't let her down," she added, shuffling with her coat as she made her way back inside.
"Agreed," Mako said, as she left him with smile as the door swung at her departure.
"May the best man or woman win," he muttered to himself. It was half sadness, half determination.
Unlike earlier, her steps made no sound. The soles of her shoes settled against the bare floor. The night had crept in while she'd talked with Katara, escaping her notice as time ticked by and the sun went down with a moment's notice. Now, the moon gleamed in shades through the blinds on the closed windows. Overhead ceiling lights hummed in energy, making the white walls appear yellow.
She felt cold. Autumn was starting to take effect. Where did summertime go?
All these thoughts didn't create much of a distraction, but they were enough for her to ignore the fluttering sensation of uncertainty in the bottom of her stomach, at least until she reached the door. Room JD. The one assigned to Opal Beifong.
She wasn't looking forward to it. Who would be? A million different things he could say went through her head. A million different replied came back. Should she be deeply apologetic? Take whatever words of forgiveness she could get, even if it was layered in abuse? Or should she be cold, mechanical, practical? And how would he actually react? Oh Spirits...
Get a grip, she chastised herself. This won't be the first time. It may not be the last either.
With her shaky hands since steadied, she turned the handle and stepped into the room.
Bolin was sitting beside the bed. He cocked his head up as if he was about to say something, but whatever words that he intended to speak died in his throat as he realised who had stepped foot into the room. Maybe he'd been expecting Mako, or an orderly, she wondered. Judging by the way his shock expression turned to steel within a second, he wasn't expecting her.
Without a word, she took the seat across from him on the other side of the bed. The chair was still warm, and an officer's coat hung on the back of it. Definitely Mako.
She wanted to speak, but the silence was thick like a fog. It was almost as if mere words weren't enough to penetrate it.
"Hey," she said simply, hoping that the polite greeting was the best way to start.
"Hey," Bolin replied, establishing eye contact before swiftly avoiding it, like he was unsure of how to proceed or what she was doing.
Korra was pretty sure the conversation would collapse if they lapsed into silence, so she gathered her words and cleared her throat. "How is she?"
"She's... fine," Bolin managed, like the words were struggling to leave his lips. "No lasting damage. Katara was in here earlier actually. Gave her a full evaluation. Along with the nurse's help, she'll be up and about in a day or so. Apparently it's the... psychological scars that will take longest to heal."
"Oh, okay," Korra nodded her head. The tension was palpable. Thick and thin in the air. Easy to feel, not so easy to cut through. And it was all leading up to one word. "Sorry."
Bolin looked up. Korra's eyes were gleaming. He knew she was sincere. Whether that was enough for him she didn't know.
"I'm sorry," she said again. "I'm sorry for all that's happened. I was so focused on stopping Shin La that I didn't see Opal. I didn't see that he'd relinquished control and I'm sorry for that. And I'm sorry for everything else involving Mako too. I'm sorry."
The apology hung still in the air, like the words themselves had to make the journey across the bed to reach the earthbender. He stared at her, like he had no idea what to say. His lower lip trembled, in either anger or grief. He swallowed audibly before he could reply.
"I... accept your apology," he said, but he couldn't look at her as he said it. His eyes skittered away from her glance and his feet tapped the floor. "Now, I would like it if... Please go, Korra. I don't think I can talk to you right now."
Korra couldn't help the stab of pain that pierced her heart. He'd accepted her apology, but he hadn't acknowledged it properly. He had to know that she meant it.
"Okay," she responded. "Just... I am truly sorry, Bolin. You have got to believe that."
"I believe you're sorry," Bolin said, his gaze still squarely on the floor. "I don't think you've quite acknowledged that you're responsible."
Now her apologetic thoughts turned to confusion. "What do you mean by that?" she asked, her tone changing slightly.
"Please, just go Korra," he said, his voice becoming more guttural, thick with emotion. "I don't want to talk to you. You've apologised, that's all you needed to do. Now, please just leave us alone."
"You've got an issue with me, I get it," Korra tried to soothe him. "But this... it's the best I can do. I can't turn back time and I can't erase what's happened. All I can do is let you know how sorry I am for-"
"For Spirit's sake Korra!" Bolin barked as he stood up, unshed tears in his eyes. "You're sorry, I get it. But these apologies... they don't mean anything. They're not for me, they're for you. So you can feel better. They won't help me, they won't help Opal. You want my forgiveness but I can't give it to you. Not now and I don't know when. Sorry will not make this better!"
Korra stood up also, her expression changing from apologetic to questioning. "Then what will, Bolin? I've done all I can do. Is it my fault that Shin La's decided to make his presence known? Is it my fault we're getting punished for a past Avatar's deed? What more do you want from me?"
"Look at her, Korra," Bolin replied. His eyes were red, and the waterworks really were threatening to break through at any second. "Look at her! I don't know if there's anything you could say to make me forgive you for this. I put my faith in you. I believed you would save her. When Shin La took her and you went bounding after her, Mako and Asami, they told me that you'd save her. They told me that Opal would make it back because of you. And I believed them. They made me believe them because the only thing in my head, at that moment, was yes, Korra. Save her. Save her and all is forgiven!"
That did it. A single salty tear slowly escaped the damp prison of his eyelid and rolled down his cheek as Bolin took heaving breaths and sorrowful sighs. But then he gathered himself to speak once more. Korra didn't stop him. She just watched.
"But you didn't. You left her in as worse a state as she would have been left with that madman. And not because of Shin La. Because when the time came, you took the easy way out. You let the Avatar State decide."
Korra opened her mouth to reply, to apologise once more, but something stopped her. "I'm sorry?" she said instead. "What did you say?" she said disbelievingly.
"You heard me, Korra," Bolin replied. "You could have taken control, but you didn't. You let it happen. You took the easy way out."
For a moment, she had nothing. Nothing at all. But all of a sudden, words rushed to her mind. And the balance of the conversation seemed to shift.
"Did I?" Korra shot back, anger starting to take hold of her voice. "I took the easy way out? Wow, Bolin. Wow. I don't know what I expected when I came down here to talk but I didn't expect this."
"What? You thought I'd blindly let it go? You made the decision that was easiest for you. You-"
"I did the only thing I could have done!" Korra shouted, her body quivering with anger at the notion that she didn't try her damnedest to get Opal back. "I'm sorry, were you there? Do you have the slightest clue as to how hard I tried to keep Shin La from murdering your precious Opal? You're so mired in frustration that you haven't even imagined the pain I went through to keep her alive!"
Korra's voice was becoming more shrill by the minute. "What went down was the best outcome you could have gotten. And not just with Opal but with Mako and Asami too! Do you have any idea how agonising that decision was? To measure the lives of the two people closest to you against each other and be responsible for who lives and who dies?!"
Her words were met with stony silence. For the first time since she'd entered the room, Bolin didn't know what to say. But Korra wasn't finished.
"No, you don't. And you're so quick to play the wounded party when everyone else around you is hurting too. Mako may well have lost the only parental figure he ever had after his parents died. Asami is still struggling with the fact that she is now an orphan. And I have to deal with the knowledge that an evil, crazy, revenge-fuelled nightmare is coming to destroy everything that has ever mattered to me," she said, her inhalation short as she finally drew a breath. She'd clenched her fists so hard she may well have made her palms bleed. "Does that sound like I'm taking the easy way out to you?" she finally asked, an honest question buried beneath indignation and disbelief.
For the longest time, Bolin just looked at her. A million different emotions seemed to flitter across his face. He opened his mouth then closed it so many times before finally the words left his mouth.
"Let's say that I see your point," Bolin standing up to face her. "Let's say that I'm 'overreacting', because of course, who would do that after the person they love has been nearly bludgeoned to death by someone you called a friend. Let's pretend that, throughout that entire speech, not once did you acknowledge that you lost control. There's one thing that still doesn't change. You are the Avatar, all right? That means you are responsible for the Avatar State, like it or not. I may not know what it's like to hold a god's power in my hands but sure as hell know that isn't an excuse to make when you're in charge of that power," Bolin said, looking her right in the eye. "I just got one question, Korra. That's it. That's all I need. And no sugar coating. No bullshit. Just cold honesty. If Tenzin and Jinora hadn't arrived when they did, would you have killed Opal? Would you have ended her, right there and then? And I need an answer. It's the least I deserve."
Korra stood there, still quavering from her speech, her teeth still gritted and her fingers still stuck to her palms. But she couldn't say what she wanted to say. He wanted an honest answer. She had to give him one.
I... I don't know.
"I don't know," Korra said, genuine uncertainty in her voice. "I don't know."
She watched Bolin's face carefully. His anger seemed to dissipate, leaving only broken doubt and fruitless questions. He seemed like he wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come out. Whatever he was thinking, he couldn't express it. She didn't blame him.
Neither could she.
"I'm going to go," she said, turning to the door. He didn't stop her.
"Tell me when she wakes up."
He barely nodded as she left. And once more he looked back to the broken but healing form before him. And he silently wondered how much of his blame was actually from his own volition and not the hatred Shin La wanted him to exhibit.
"Damn you, Shin La," he said, putting his hands on the bed to steady himself. "Damn you."
I hope it was worth the wait. I sincerely do.
This one was tough to write, mainly because there was no action. No set piece to insert or tantalising teaser for the next chapter. Just the emotional fallout following from the aftermath of the last few chapters. Tests and Assignments are coming thick and fast now too, plus I was held up by the Tales From the Borderlands finale (Quick segway: Play it. Just play it. You'll thank me for it). Still, that isn't much of an excuse to have you wait more time than is necessary, and for that I apologise.
God help me when Fallout 4 comes out.
Anyway, after that mini-speech, I hope you can take the one second needed to review and give some feedback. Even if it's only one word, I'll take it :)
Until next time folks :)