A/N: A new chapter for you all. Working on the latest chapter of LUJ. It's coming, but slowly. I'm not giving up on either story though. Thank you SO much for all of you who take the time to encourage me to continue writing! I'm glad there are people out there enjoying these different takes on Christy.
Chapter 7:
"Ahhh" Adelaide felt like she could cry as she retrieved the burnt supper from the stove. She had been in the middle of feeding Simon when she smelled the smoke. Now, she had a screaming babe and a ruined supper.
"This stove will not defeat me. It won't. I refuse to let it" she said, gripping the pan of charred remains with a towel and placing it on top of the stove as Neil walked in the door.
"Talking to yourself is never a good sign" Neil laughed at her.
She turned towards him, trying to fan out the smoke with the towel so she could see him.
"Don't burn my cabin down, Adelaide" he told her, dryly.
"This is not the time for teasing, Doctor MacNeill" she told him as she picked up the pan again and walked past him and chucked the burnt remnants into the yard.
She came back to Neil trying to soothe a fussy Simon. "What's wrong with him?" he asked her, patting the baby's back firmly as he walked around the room with him.
"I stopped feeding him when I smelled smoke"
"Ah" he said, "no wonder the poor lad is so disgruntled"
"I'm disgruntled" she said, "What does he have to complain about? His food isn't ruined"
Neil shifted Simon, who was gnawing at his shoulder. "Maybe it is" he eyed her shirt, which was seeping through from stopping nursing midway through.
She looked to where he was staring.
"I hate being a woman. Hate it!" she cried.
"Sweetheart" Neil tried to fight a chuckle.
"I can't even stop feeding Simon for a minute without having to change my shirt. How am I supposed to help you with surgeries?"
"You'll take a break to feed the babe if you are feeling too full"
"Oh, it just sounds so simple, doesn't it? So easy for you to say" Adelaide retorted, "Now, give me back my son, please"
"Here you are" Neil handed the baby over quickly. His wife was in a mood and Adelaide was a force to be reckoned with at times. He wasn't afraid of her temper by any means and in a head to head of tempers, his was by far the stronger, but at the same time, he didn't wish to incite her unnecessarily.
Adelaide settled back on the couch and Simon quickly resumed nursing.
Neil eyed her carefully.
Adelaide looked at him, sharply, "Yes?"
Neil chuckled at the look she was giving him- it could have frozen water. "Ye are in a fine mood today, lass" he told her. "What is it?"
Her shoulders slumped forward as she relaxed. Neil, sensing an opening, came and sat next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders while she nursed the baby.
"I wanted to have supper ready for you when you got back from your visit and now it is just a disaster"
"It's alright" he said, "Let me show you the trick of the stove again when you are done with the lad"
"You aren't frustrated with me?" she asked.
He shook his head, "Why would I be frustrated, lass? I knew you were a terrible cook when I married you"
"Oh, thanks" she said, but managed to crack a smile.
"There is that smile" he told her as he squeezed the back of her neck, "Lighten up, Adelaide, it isn't the end of the world, woman"
"I'm trying" she said.
"Stop being a perfectionist" Neil advised. "I don't expect it"
"You do when I am your nurse"
"Hum" Neil kissed the side of her head, "It's different. People's lives are at stake and I know you are trained well and capable. You gave me fair warning about this though"
"I did" Adelaide sighed, "I hate not being good at something" She didn't say what else she was hated not being good at- best not go there unnecessarily.
"I know" Neil smiled. "It will come, sweetheart. Patience and persistence. You can do this"
Simon finished feeding and she put him in his cradle and ran upstairs to change her shirt. She came back downstairs and stood beside Neil as he walked her through using the stove again.
"It is tricky especially if you are used to those fancy stoves in Asheville" Neil said as Adelaide cooked them some eggs.
"I burnt our food in Asheville all the time too" Adelaide admitted. "Poor Simon"
Neil smiled, "I venture to say he didn't mind too badly"
She grinned, "He had his moments"
"What did he say?"
"About how I'm stubborn and we should have hired a cook so we could have a decent meal- it was as close as we came to having a fight"
"Well now" Neil poked at her side, "The stubborn part is entirely correct, but I think that tenacity will serve you well, Addie"
"I hope so" Adelaide said, "I also hope we aren't wasting too much money"
Neil wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him, "We are fine, sweetheart. Just try to get the hang of it sooner rather than later"
"I'll try"
"What did you do today while I was gone?" he asked. "I'm sorry about that by the way"
"No, it's okay" she said, "I understand what it is to be married to a doctor"
"So what did you do?" he asked as she plated their food.
"Simon and I went to the ladies sewing circle. Miss Alice was gone, but they still had it at the mission"
"I'm surprised you did that" Neil said, looking intently at Adelaide's flushed face. Something in her tone and the way her color heightened made him wonder exactly what happened at that sewing circle. The ladies could be quite the gossips and while usually Adelaide didn't take things like that to heart, she was extra sensitive these days with the changes of the new baby and their sudden marriage.
"I enjoy the ladies of the Cove" she said as Simon began to fuss again. She sighed and went over to pick him up, cradling him in her arm as she ate.
"Did you have a good time?" Neil asked.
"I did" Adelaide nodded. "Fairlight was there and Lizzie was there with the new baby"
"Good, Lizzie is an especially sweet one. You might want to think on a visit once we are settled in. She would love that. They are our nearest neighbors"
"I would like to get to know her better as well especially since our little ones are so close in age" Adelaide said, "And I think I might want to go for a quick visit with Opal tomorrow, if you don't mind. I know we are honeymooning or supposed to be, but I really want to see her. She wasn't there today."
"I don't mind" Neil said, easily. "I have plenty of work to do here if I don't get called away again"
"Good" she nodded.
After supper, she gave Simon a bath and fed him again, tucking him in. Neil was sitting on the couch, updating his medical records when she came downstairs. He patted the seat next to him, laying his work aside.
"How's the lad?" he asked, as he nuzzled into her neck.
"Sound asleep"
"Good" Neil said and began to kiss her. She frowned.
"Neil" she said and she tried to scoot away.
"What is it?" he asked, looking at her, surprised. While things still felt forced and awkward between them, Adelaide didn't outright push him away like that.
"I just think" Adelaide paused, "maybe...if we...not force the issue between us, things would be better"
"What does that mean?" he asked, incredulously.
"I need a break" she told him, honestly, "Can we just be ourselves tonight without the pressure of we should have sex because we are married?"
"I like having sex" Neil retorted evenly, "It's not a matter of should for me"
"That's not what I meant" she said, quietly.
"What do you mean then?"
"I just..." her voice trailed off as she shifted, uncomfortable.
"Is it a duty for you?" he asked, his voice low, "be honest with me"
"Yes" Adelaide said, softly. "especially with how awkward it is between us. Maybe I'm not ready. Maybe it's been too soon since the baby"
"Physically speaking, I don't think that is the case" Neil said.
"Emotionally then" she countered.
"You could have said no to begin with" he told her, quietly. "I would have still married you"
"I know"
"What changed?" he asked. "Something has changed to have you retreating like this"
She looked down at her hands.
"Did something happen today to make you uncomfortable?" he pressed. "You were such in a poor mood when I came home which really is unlike you"
She continued to study her hands, "I'm tired of trying to be someone I'm not and then feeling guilty when I'm not that person"
"Nobody is asking you to be anybody but yourself" Neil looked at her, in disbelief.
"But you are..." she bit her lip.
"No" Neil shook his head, swiftly. His voice was firm, "That's simply not the case. I've never asked you to hide what you are thinking or feeling or to be anything but genuine with me. You know that is true"
"I feel pressure to make love to you" Adelaide said, quietly. "in a way that pleases you"
"Hum" Neil reached for her hand, "If you feel that pressure, it's what you are putting on yourself, lass..."
"But you expect me to be your wife in this way" Adelaide pointed out.
"I want you to try" Neil said, applying a gentle pressure to her hand. "to give intimacy between us a chance to get better"
"But why can't we just let it go" Adelaide said, quietly. "Why do you even want it?"
Neil struggled to keep his tone patient, "Adelaide, you have been married before. You aren't totally unaware of why I would want intimacy with my wife."
"Yes of course" Adelaide said, "but..." she paused, not being able to formulate an excuse that seemed reasonable.
"And you yourself said that eventually you would like to have more children"
"I'm not saying never" Adelaide said.
"Then what are you saying?"
"I don't know" She gently tugged her hand away from his, "I just can't do this with you tonight, please don't ask me to"
His hand brushed across her cheek, "Are you really that stressed when you think of it?"
"Yes, more so now than ever"
"Why?"
"I don't want to talk about it"
"Adelaide, be fair"
"Just a few days for me to get my head around it again"
He studied her, keenly aware the anxiety that she didn't bother to hide. He knew if he pressed her further, it would be a disaster. "Do you really think time will help you?"
"Maybe" she responded, "Please, Neil. I'm telling you that I need this"
He let out a long breath. "That's fine, Addie" he stood and gathered the papers he had set aside. "I'm going to try to finish some work"
"Neil" Adelaide's voice broke.
"It's okay, sweetheart. I'll see you in the morning" He leaned over to kiss her head and then walked into the lab, shutting the door behind him.
He came to bed much later that night and Adelaide rolled over to snuggle into him. "I'm sorry if you are upset with me" Her voice cracked. "I don't want you to be"
He sighed when he heard her distress and put his arm around her, pulling her close. "I'm not upset with you, lass"
"You seemed like you were"
"I was a little frustrated, but that was to be expected"
"Yes, of course" she acknowledged.
"I'll give you time if that is what you need- but not endless amounts. We will talk about this soon"
"Okay" she bit her lip.
"More than just the love making, it's the other things you said, Adelaide" Neil told her, "I needed to think. I'm sorry I withdrew too"
"It's alright" Adelaide said, "I understand"
"You do know that you aren't alone anymore- the things you are thinking and feeling, I want you to share with me"
"I know" she whispered.
"I want us to hash this out completely" Neil said, "You will do that with me, yes?"
"Alright"
"And tell me what happened to make you so anxious all the sudden?"
"Eventually"
"So there is something?"
"Maybe"
"I thought so" Neil said. "From the sewing circle?"
"Yes"
"Do you want to tell me what was said that has you all worked up?"
She buried her head against his side. "No, I really don't"
"When you are ready then" Neil squeezed her, "Now, go to sleep. The lad will be up soon"
She began to pull away, but he trapped her against him. "You are shivering. Are you cold?"
"Yes" she said.
"I think you need to start wearing flannel to bed. This cotton is much too light for the nights here. We are living on the mountain, not the level lands, woman" he teased.
She laughed at him, the sound lighting their mood and restoring peace between them.
"Do you not have the thicker nightgowns?" he asked her, holding her tightly against his side, trying to show her his acceptance of the situation.
"I had the flannel nightgowns made when I was expecting the baby and obviously they are swimming now, and mother brought me my other clothes appropriate for Cove life, but I can't quite fit into most of them. I figured out how to make it work for my day clothes and mother is sending back those dresses, but at night, I just wore my maternity clothes, but since we married, the thought made me feel" she paused and groaned, "well, I'm sure you can deduce..."
"Is it those feminine sensibilities coming in?" Neil chuckled.
"Something like that" she mumbled.
"For tonight, stay close to me until you fall asleep and we'll figure something out for you" he told her.
"We don't have to- the nights are getting warmer"
"We'll have weeks of this cooler weather at nights, lass" he told her, quietly, "and I want to make sure you are comfortable. Allow me to be your husband in this way at least, please"
"Of course" Adelaide responded, "I'm sorry- I just don't want to be a burden for you"
"You are no such thing, sweetheart" he told her, adamantly, "I'm glad you are my wife"
"Even after tonight?"
"Aye" he reassured her, rubbing his hand down her side, "Do you think the lad is warm enough?"
"He's closer to the fire and has his blankets" she said, "he should be fine"
"Good" he leaned over to kiss her head, "Night, Addie"
"Goodnight Neil"
They were silent for a few minutes, Adelaide relaxing against his warm side, "Neil?"
"Aye, lass?"
"Thank you for everything you are doing for me"
He rolled over to his side and put both arms around her, allowing her to rest her head against his chest. "It really is a pleasure, lass"
"Goodnight, Neil"
"Goodnight, Adelaide"
"I'm right surprised to see ye, Miz Addie" Opal said, stepping out on the porch. "Come sit a spell. Do ye want anything to drink?" she paused at Adelaide's white face. "What it is, Adelaide?"
"Opal, I'm so out of sorts" Adelaide confessed. "I should have never married the Doc. I'm not ready to do this again with anybody" she blurted out.
"Now just sit down here and tell me what is going on" Opal said, having a seat on the porch and patting the spot next to her. "Here let me take the babe" she took Simon in her arms, adjusting his blanket and snuggling him against her, patting his back, him settling for her, ready to fall asleep.
Adelaide sat down next to her, "I don't know where to begin"
"Is he being a bear?"
"No" Adelaide shook her head, "quite the opposite. He is so sweet to me, but my cooking is a disaster and...other things are a disaster as well"
"Other things?" Opal pondered it. "The love making?"
"I don't know what to do" Adelaide's face flushed. "It's just completely uncomfortable"
"Does it hurt?"
She nodded and Opal leaned over to pat her arm, "That will get better with time" she assured her, "Just try to relax with the Doc and let him help you with it"
"I know" she sighed, "it's just...making love to Neil is so different than Simon"
"I suspect it would be" Opal said, not mincing words, "ye marriage to the Doc is different- ye married him for different reasons than ye married Doc Simon"
She nodded, "he doesn't understand" she juggled Simon.
"He's a man- love makin' is different for them" Opal said. "It be more physical for them where for us, our heart be wrapped up in it"
"It bothers me that it isn't what he is used to" Adelaide confessed, "It bothers me a whole lot"
"What do ye mean?" Opal frowned.
"The ladies just indicated at the sewing circle that passion between Margaret and Neil characterized their marriage and it's missing in ours. If that is what he had with her and that's what made him happy with her, there is no way he could possibly be happy with me"
"Because ye knew that Doc was so passionate with Miss Margaret?"
She nodded, "He loved her so intensely, Opal. The good and the bad and all that passion, we'll never have that type of love"
"You don't know that" Opal said. "If you open your heart up..."
"But to open my heart up so soon, only to be rejected..."
"Rejected?" Opal raised her eyebrows in surprise.
"Yes" she nodded, solemnly, "he loves my sister and when looking at his two great loves, how can I compare with either of them?"
"Now ye can't think like that. Ye don't have to compare with anyone. Doc married you..."
"Because the Cove pressured him into it" her lip trembled, "not for any other reason"
"Give Doc a chance" Opal advised. "I honestly don't think he compares you with either of them"
"I hope you are right" Adelaide said, gloomily. "Truth is, even if he did care for me, I don't know if I'm ready to care for someone again. I love Simon still. I can't give that up"
"But ye wouldn't have to give it up" Opal said, "Just make room for the Doc. What does he say to all of this?"
"Do you think I can tell him this?" Adelaide shook her head, "Never, it's so embarrassing"
"I think if you want to have any sort of marriage, you'll share your fears with him" Opal said, "There be no shame in what ye are feeling. But just remember, the Doc and Miz Margaret had passion, but there be a lot of wounds from that marriage as well. And if the love making be bad, keep practicing until ye get it right. I'm sure the Doc is up for the challenge" Opal said, with a twinkle in her eyes, "I think if you let him he can bring the passion right out of you"
"How do you know?"
Opal smiled, "I've witnessed moments between the two of you. There be a spark there, Adelaide. Kindle it. Ye won't regret it. Them mountain men know how to romance their wives"
"But do you think it is wrong to enjoy it so when neither of us have feelings?"
"Ask the Doc and see what he says" Opal advised.
Adelaide sighed, "But then that will lead to a lecture"
"Maybe so" Opal chuckled. "Doc be a know it all at times"
Adelaide laughed then as well. "Yes, he is that"
They fell quiet, before Adelaide said, "I like him Opal"
"I know you do" Opal said. "And there be no shame in that either. Talk to the Doc soon, Adelaide. No sense fretting over things that the Doc be able to help you with"
"I'll try' Adelaide promised, but knew in her heart that it would be a few days before she could gather up the courage to confess all the ways she was struggling with him.
Neil was not there when she returned and eyed the large pile of laundry that had accumulated over the course of the week. She should have done some days ago.
Placing Simon down in his cradle for a nap she reached for the bucket to go down to the creek and begin to haul water, taking several trips filling the pots on the stove to boil the water.
She had never done laundry before. She had to admit that all of her life she had been absolutely spoiled by sending their laundry out or having a housekeeper do it. Even at the mission, Ruby Mae shooed her away from the laundry pail, pronouncing that it was earning her keep. When she got engaged to Neil, Adelaide took Ruby Mae aside and asked her to show her how it all worked, but even then, Ruby Mae insisted on doing the clothes and she just watched. She added the soda crystals, thankful that Neil was away, giving her privacy to figure this all out on her own.
She began the arduous task of dollying the clothes and then scrubbing them against the washboard, rising and repeating the task before wringing out each piece of clothing, placing them inside by the fire to dry and sneak upstairs to do the same with the upstairs fire. It took the longest time and by the time she was done, her muscles ached from the work and her hands, not used to the task, were rubbed raw. She winced. Mother would not be pleased, she thought as she came back downstairs and started supper.
Simon started screaming half way through and Adelaide sighed. This is how she burned supper the night before. Thankfully, she heard Charlie on the way and Neil came in, a few minutes later.
"Smells good" Neil commented as he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Laundry today?" he asked.
"Uh huh" Adelaide continued working, "Can you get..." she trailed off as she realized that Neil was already taking the steps two at a time to retrieve the babe. She was constantly amazed at how hands on he was as a father without her even having to prompt. She knew most men weren't quite like this with their children and Simon wasn't even Neil's biological child.
She looked down at her hands, "Oh no" she winced, realizing why they were so painful to cook with. Blisters were forming.
Neil came downstairs and she quickly continued cooking. "Lad is hungry again. I'll take over while you feed"
She nodded, wiping her hands and trying to hide her grimace at how it felt to dry her raw, blistered hands against the rough fabric.
"Come here, Simon, love" Adelaide took the baby from her and settled at the table to nurse, while watching Neil in the kitchen. They sat for a few minutes before Adelaide asked, "How are your patients?"
"Becky O'Teale's eyes are bothering her again" Neil said, grunting. "If she develops the trachoma again, I don't know what I will do..."
Adelaide grimaced. "Should I go try to pay Swannie a visit?"
He shook his head, "Not with the babe this young. Alice said she would talk to Swannie again. Oh, and the Allens are fighting sore throats and colds, but Granny's remedies seem to be working for now"
"That's good"
"Creed is aching for a visit with Isaak. I said as soon as he is well, you'd love to see him"
"I would" Adelaide looked down at Simon. "Um, Neil?"
He turned towards her.
"After supper, could you look at something for me?" she put the baby up to burp.
"Something as in...?" he asked.
"Medically related"
"Why don't we look at it now?" Neil said, "Supper can simmer for a bit"
"Okay" she bit her lip.
"Let me take the babe" Neil told her and he took Simon from her and placed him on a blanket on the floor before sitting back with Adelaide. "You look nervous. Do you feel unwell?" he studied her, carefully.
"No, nothing like that" she winced as her hands became stiff. "I'm embarrassed about it, truly"
"Woman issues?" Neil inclined his head.
"No, thankfully not that" she swallowed hard. "I don't think I would come to you for that"
"You most certainly will" Neil told her, firmly, "as it is nothing to be embarrassed about"
"Neil" she grunted, "come now, it is entirely something to be embarrassed about"
"You come now" he countered. "It absolutely is not. You will come to me if you have those problems. I want to know"
"Okay, I will, but maybe I'll do so by leaving you a note in your lab and then going to hide upstairs under the covers" she said.
He looked at her and then she smiled, titling her head.
"I think you are teasing me, but I'm not sure" he said, raising an eyebrow.
"We'll have to see when it happens" she retorted, "but honestly, it's not anything like that"
"Well, don't keep me guessing then" Neil told her and she put her hands in his, palms up. He looked down, "Oh, Adelaide, sweetheart"
Her lip trembled, "Can you help?"
"Of course" he studied her hands, "Your mama is going to have my hide though if you go home with hands like this"
"I just did laundry"
He sighed, "Unfortunately, laundry does have to be done"
"And cooking and cleaning" Adelaide said, "Honestly, I don't mind. I want to keep your home and be your wife. I just have to toughen up a bit" She rolled her shoulders as they were stiffening by the way she was sitting.
"Your muscles are aching?" he asked, not missing anything.
"Horribly" she blushed, "It's embarrassing"
"Nah" Neil held her hands in his. "Thank you for doing my laundry, sweet wife and telling me about your hands before I noticed them myself" he paused at her look, "Do you really hate being vulnerable?"
She nodded, "I want you to think I'm strong and can handle this life"
"You need to give that up now. I think you are strong, know you can handle things, but also know that this life has too much hardship and grief to bear alone- whether in the Cove or in Asheville. Be honest with me, Adelaide"
"I will"
"Good girl" He rose. "I'm going to put ointment on and then wrap them for you. Tonight you get a bath and I'll rub your shoulders and back and see if I can work the kinks out of those stiff muscles"
"Don't spoil me" she said, softly.
"It's spoiling me because I'm giving you the bath and I'm not going allow you to dress until after I rub you down" Neil said. "I can't wait actually"
She titled her head.
"I promised a reprieve from sex, not from other things...and those other things you and I can enjoy quite well without actually having sex" he said as he went into the lab. She shook her head. He came back out and sat next to her.
He placed a towel on the table. "Put your hands on the towel and I'll clean it out. It looks like you have a few scrapes and cuts as well"
"Okay" she placed her hands, palm up on the towel.
"Sorry, it's going to burn the open sores" he told her.
"I know" she nodded. "Go ahead"
He poured antiseptic on her hands, causing her to sharply intake her breath.
"Oh, goodness" she grunted as Neil held her hand steady, from her attempts to yank it away.
"It will sting just a moment longer. Hang in there, lass" he told her. "Okay there?" Neil asked, lightly as he began to cool it down with the ointment.
"Yes" she smiled at him. "I just had a baby. You think this wouldn't be so bad"
"Nah" Neil chuckled, "It's all comparative. Now, if I was doing this in the middle of a contraction, you probably wouldn't even notice"
"Isn't that the truth?"
He finished by wrapping them in a cloth and tying it off. He lifted her hands to his mouth and kissed them, tenderly.
"I'll do dishes tonight so I won't have to rewrap"
"You don't have to" she told him.
He stood and gathered up the bottles to take back to the lab. "No, but I want to, so you'll let me, yes?"
"Yes" her heart stirred as she watched his retreating figure. He had such a kind heart.
"I'll change the babe" Neil said, after she finished feeding him as they sat on their bed together.
"You don't have to" she protested, "if I am taking a bath, we'll have to rewrap my hands anyway"
"Still, I told you I would do so from time to time...call this one of those times" he winked at her as he reached for her son, "Come here, son"
Neil laid him on the bed and then changed his diaper and clothes with such tenderness that Adelaide's heart immediately overflowed.
Neil locked eyes with hers. "What is it, lass?" he asked as he saw her tears.
"You are just such a good father"
He leaned over and kissed her cheek and then wrapped up the babe placing him in the cradle. "Come on now. I'll show you what a good husband I can be"
He took her bandaged hand in his and gently tugged her off the bed, leading her downstairs to their living room, her stomach twisting up in knots.
"Sit on the couch while I get the water ready" he instructed, pushing her down. He went to work straight away- Adelaide watching him intently as he poured the water into the bath tub, testing it out and adding the bath scents that she loved.
"Okay, let's get you undressed" Neil looked up at her and crossed the room, confidently. He paused at her look, "Are you nervous?"
She nodded.
"Why?"
"Baths are something private" Adelaide said, meeting his eyes.
He paused, "but they can be incredibly fun to share with your spouse, right?"
She bit her lip hard, "are they?"
He studied her, "I think so"
"Okay" Adelaide said, slowly.
"You have too many inhibitions, Addie" Neil told her, seriously.
"I know"
He continued to study her, carefully, trying to figure out what was causing her anxiety.
"Here let's unwrap your hands" he tenderly unwrapped the bandages from her hands, taking a moment to examine them. "The hot water might be sore for a bit, but it should soothe them too. We'll let them breathe overnight and I'll treat them again in the morning"
"Thank you"
"I'll be back in a few minutes" Neil said, "I forgot towels. You go ahead and get in the bath"
"Really?"
Neil laughed. "I have seen you naked before, woman, but if you are going to be suddenly shy about it, I'm not going to force it...not tonight at least"
Adelaide blushed, "I know you think I'm ridiculous..."
He kissed her, silencing her. He pulled away, looking deeply into her eyes, "I think you are struggling something awful. There is a time for challenging and a time to just accept where you are at in this moment. I'm choosing the latter right now. Go ahead and take your bath, lass. The water will get cold soon" he kissed her briefly again before leaving her alone.
Adelaide scooped up some bubbles in her hand. The ointment Neil put on had helped immensely, but at the moment, her blisters were the least of her worries. She was occupied with thoughts of Neil and their marriage.
In the past few months, she had seen his heart and she truly cared for him. He was being so patient with her too, surprising her and stirring her heart towards him. He was trying so hard to be good to her and she knew she was thwarting his effort. Opal was right, she needed to talk to him about her fears, but the thought of doing that, she was scared that her fears would just be confirmed. She knew when compared to Margaret and Christy, she did fall horribly short in many ways. From what she could tell, Margaret was a free spirit, that quality which drew Neil to her like a moth to a flame. Christy had such an innocent like freedom to her as well, which again Neil was drawn to. She was nothing like that. She couldn't help the tears that flowed as she thought about it all. She was feeling so defeated.
And yet at the same time, Neil drew her out of herself. He was her best friend. She could let go of her inhibitions a bit.
"You are deep in thought, woman" Neil said, quietly.
She jumped, shifting the water, it splashing over the sides.
"Easy there" Neil came up beside her, "I have towels. Have you washed yet?"
"No" she wiped at her eyes.
"Sweetheart" Neil's voice was tender, "What's the matter?"
"I'm just thinking"
"There is danger in that" Neil said, seriously, "you are too pensive for your own good"
"I do tend to be" she affirmed, "I often need someone to help draw me out of it"
"Will you let me be that person?"
"Whether you know it or not, you have been that person for months"
Neil's smile was wide, "I'm glad, lass"
She nodded, "I will confide in you soon, I promise"
"Good" Neil responded. "Now, how can I help you?"
Adelaide knew that this was the perfect opportunity. She took a breath, her heart racing.
"Hum" Adelaide reached for a washcloth and handed it to him, "If you want" she said, shyly.
"Is this where your pensive thinking led you?" Neil asked, amused.
"Partly" she gave him a small smile. "I don't want to fully..."
"I know" Neil told her as he dipped the cloth under the water and then began to wash her, tenderly. "So tense, wife" he chided. "Close your eyes, Adelaide"
She closed her eyes, allowing herself to focus on the sensations Neil was evoking as he washed her. He knew what he was doing. And she was responding so strongly to it.
"Oh"
"Good?"
"Yes"
He leaned over to whisper in her ear, "Good"
He continued his efforts, watching her reaction intently, learning the ways to stir her, opening her to him. He could tell that she was losing herself to him when she opened her eyes and squirmed, "I think I'm washed enough"
"Why?"he asked, careful to keep his tone moderate.
"I..." her voice trailed off as she thought how she could possibly explain this to him. They were so different in this regard.
"It's okay to allow yourself pleasure especially with me"
"I know" she shivered, suddenly aware of the cool temperature of the water.
He gently massaged her shoulders with his fingers. "You would be more comfortable if it was dark and I couldn't see how much you enjoy this"
"Infinitely more comfortable"
"Soon you will have to be open with me, Adelaide" he told her, quietly. "I want that so much"
"Why?"
"Because for all your talk, it shows you really trust me" he told her, twisting a tendril of hair in his finger. "Does your hair need to be washed?" he asked, changing the subject.
"No, it should be fine" Adelaide said, "I'll be too chilled if we try to do that now. I think I shouldn't have been so lost in my thoughts. I wasted all the warm water"
"No, the soaking was probably good to relax your muscles" Neil reached for the towel and handed it to her. "I'm going to go get your lotion to rub into your arms and back" He tossed her a blanket. "Wrap up in this too if you are cold"
"Or if I'm feeling particularly modest?"
Neil chuckled, "That too"
He left her and she stepped out of the water, wrapping herself in the towel, and throwing the blanket over her too.
Neil came back with her bottle of lotion. "Here lay down"
"I'm going to get the sofa soaked" Adelaide protested.
"Fair point" Neil scooted over the oversized fur rug closer to the fire. "Lie there"
"Um" she looked at it, wearily.
Neil laughed heartedly, "It's clean, lass, promise and you can put the towel under you. It will be softer than the sofa too"
She frowned, "but then..." she stopped, trying to work it out in her mind how she could still maintain her modesty.
"You are going to have to have some vulnerability here" Neil said, quietly.
"You're right" Adelaide eased down to sit on the rug and he sat next to her.
"Go ahead and lie on your stomach and I'll work the kinks out of those muscles"
She slid down and turned over, Neil not so quickly putting the blanket over her bottom half.
He poured the lotion on his hands and then began to massage it into her back causing her to groan.
"Too rough?"
"No" Adelaide said, "it hurts but in a good way. I didn't realize how tense I was"
"I did" Neil said, wryly.
"I was referring to my sore muscles from the laundry, Dr. MacNeill" Adelaide said, and Neil heard the teasing in her voice.
They fell silent, Neil rubbing her back and shoulders and arms.
"Tell me something about you, lass" Neil said, quietly. "Something nobody else knows"
She thought for a few moments.
"I greatly prefer Adelaide to Addie" she said.
"Really now?" Neil asked, surprised, "I asked you that a long time ago"
"Well, you know...I hate being fussy over things" Adelaide said, "And I really truly don't mind Addie, especially from Daddy or the people of the Cove, but..."
"Does it make you feel childish at times?"
"Yes"
"I see" Neil continued to rub her shoulders. "I'll call you Adelaide from now on"
"You do mostly anyway"
"I do, don't I?" he said, "truth be told, I prefer Adelaide to Addie as well"
"I like when you say my name"
Neil couldn't hide his grin, but Adelaide couldn't see it.
"Oh, bother" Adelaide tried to get up, "Did I really say that?"
"Aye, Adelaide"
"Don't tease" she struggled, but Neil's hand was holding her down.
"I'm not" Neil retorted, "I want you to like things about me, sweet lass"
"I do like things about you, Neil"
"Like what?"
"Besides the way you doctor?"
He continued to rub her lower back, "I'd hope as your husband, you would see the man"
"I do" Adelaide assured him, "I love how you have accepted Simon as your own, how you help me with him without me asking you to, how patient you have been with me..."
"Those are all fine qualities..."
"But I could have said that even before we married"
"Possibly" Neil's tone was guarded.
"You want to know if I see you as a husband"
"Aye"
"Because I imposed this restriction on our love making"
"Partly" he sighed, "I'm not fishing for compliments, Adelaide"
"I know" Adelaide shifted. "I like how in the middle of the night, you hold me close to you"
"I like that too" Neil said, his voice low.
"I like how broad you are" she said, "you are so strong, but when you hold me or we make love, you are so gentle. You have this stalwart presence wherever you go" she thought for a moment, "and I love your hair"
"My hair?" Neil chuckled, "it's an unruly mess"
"It fits you perfectly" Adelaide smiled as she turned around, pulling up the blanket as she did, making sure it covered her. "I can see our little girl having curls just like yours"
"Poor lassie"
"And that same unruly personality, which I am also attracted too" she admitted with a blush.
"You like the less refined?"
"I wish I could be more like you" she offered, "more open, more free with my feelings emotions, not as shy and reserved"
"You are only shy and reserved at times"
"True" She gave him a wry smile. "I like your temper"
Neil snorted, "My temper?"
"Yes" Adelaide said, with a grin. "You are infuriating, but you challenge me and I like that"
"You challenge me back only in a sweet way. I'll never forget the first few times you stood up to me temper. The look in your eyes..." he looked into her eyes, "truth be told, I was attracted to you then, Adelaide"
She stilled, not understanding what he was saying.
"But you were in love with my sister then"
"Aye" he nodded.
"I don't understand" she paused and swallowed hard, comprehension dawning, "oh, because I reminded you of Margaret"
His eyes grew wide, "No"
"Yes" Adelaide challenged.
"You are so different from her"
"But you like that fire in a woman, Neil"
"Adelaide" his voice was pained, "I was trying to be complimentary and you are ruining it"
She was chastised, "I'm sorry, I wasn't meaning to"
Things had suddenly become quite tense between them.
"Did I hit the truth?" her voice contained a hint of a quiver, but she managed to keep it mostly even.
He hesitated, sensing the importance of his words. "I really don't believe so" he finally said.
"She was the love of your life, it's only natural considering the resemblance and that was before we really knew each other well" she offered.
"I honestly don't see Margaret when I look at you...you are so different from her personality wise...and I'm not sure Margaret was the love of my life"
She nodded, "I understand"
"Do you?"
She tried to swallow down the huge lump in her throat at the thought that her sister was the love of his life. "Of course" she leaned over to kiss his cheek, "Thank you for the bath and rubbing my back. I feel much better"
"Somehow I doubt that"
She gave him a small smile, "I'm sleepy. I'll dump out the water and then I'm going to bed. Are you coming?"
He shook his head, "I'll take care of the water, lass. It's too heavy for you and it will pain your hands to drag the bath outside."
"Yes, thank you"
"DOC!" there was a holler in the yard.
She kissed him quickly before hopping up to take refuge upstairs, "I'll see you when you get back"
"Hopefully it won't be all night"
"Good" she said, "Be careful"
"Aye, I will" Neil said before going outside to deal with the latest emergency in the Cove, hoping that he could at least be more successful there than he was being here, trying to figure out his new wife...and the way into her heart.
A/N: please review! :)