A/N:Thanks again to all who take the time to review! Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! :)
DP Chapter 10:
"You are shivering again" Neil commented as he twisted a piece of her hair between his thumb and forefinger.
"The nights are still cold" Adelaide responded, clutching the sheet over her, unwilling to completely forgo her modesty.
"You weren't cold a few moments ago" he said, with a mischievous grin.
"You are quite proud of yourself, aren't you?" she chuckled as he reached down to pull quilt up and then settled her against his side.
"Of course" Neil said. "I love every minute of this between us...and I especially love bringing that passion out of you" he traced the edge of her face, "No, sweetheart, none of that" he chided as she blushed.
It had been two weeks since Neil admitting his feelings to her, almost a month since their marriage. He was gone most of the day, but when he was home...there was no denying that they had a certain chemistry together, which Neil was all too happy to help her explore often. The juxtaposition was amazing to Adeline- they had such an easiness between the two of them during the day, but the intensity certainly came out in those special times between them. He was considerate of her feelings, but was slowly pushing her to be bolder with him in a way that made her feel secure because she knew his feelings for her. She knew he expected her to talk with him about this openly and because of that, the stigma was slowly fading...but not entirely, which was the reason for the blush.
"You do bring that out of me" she admitted. "There is something special about this between us"
"I agree"
They fell into easy silence before Adelaide asked,
"May I ask you a private question?" she leaned up so she could look at him.
"Of course" Neil responded, waiting.
She searched for her words before asking, "How do you know so much about sex?"
"Oh, that's a loaded question if I have ever heard one, lassie" Neil said, scooting her gently over and then turning on his side towards her.
"Well" Adelaide settled back down on the bed and turned towards him, "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to" she reached over to squeeze his hand once, trying to signal to him that she was being sincere if he chose not to share with her.
"No, I don't mind" Neil answered, easily. "I read a lot. I am a doctor, so I also know things medically"
"Simon said the same thing"
"And I wager you believed him more than you believe me right now"
"No" Adelaide responded, "but I did know that I was Simon's first and you know Simon was my first..."
"Are you implying that there is a double standard between us?"
"Oh, absolutely" she responded, "A woman being promiscuous is far worse than a man...or so society says"
"And what says Adelaide?"
"It's equally worse"
"Because?"
"Because God reserved this for marriage"
"Hum, I don't see what He has anything to do with us"
She reached over and patted his cheek, playfully, "Just about everything"
"We had such a good time, let's not muddle it lass, with talk of your God" Neil said.
"Fair enough"
"But to answer your question, I met someone in medical school in Scotland"
"So" she shifted and Neil could sense she was uncomfortable, "she was your first?"
"Yes"
"Okay" she thought for a moment, "Did you love her?"
"I thought I did" he said, honestly.
"What happened?"
"Lack of compatibility, I think"
She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for sharing that with me"
"Are you upset?"
She shrugged, "I'm not overly surprised. It's only a woman's virtue that is supposed to be intact for marriage"
He raised an eyebrow, "I didn't take anything that wasn't offered to me" he told her, honestly.
"No, but just because she was willing to give didn't mean you should have taken" she countered. "How would you have felt if it was me?"
"I would have wanted to throttle the man that doesn't do right by you, love" he admitted, "but...it's different with you...even if most woman claim virtue, it's not necessarily genuine"
She sighed, "that is true"
"To compromise your virtue would have to involve manipulation and deceit and taking advantage of your innocence...none of that happened"
"Alright" she conceded.
"But all this still bothers you" he said, knowingly. "You can't hide your feelings from me"
She slid up so she was resting against the headboard and then arranged the sheets over her and crossed her arms, trapping the covers beneath, so she was completely hidden from him. "I wouldn't say that it bothers me per se"
He sat up as well. "You want a morally upstanding husband and the fact that I was sexually involved with women outside of marriage bothers you whether you chose to admit it or not"
"Women?" she paused, "as in plural?"
"Adelaide" his voice was low. "We are both adults here and this is long before I even knew you"
"I know that" she said, softly.
"I was introduced to society in medical school by some of my friends" Neil said, quietly, "And you know what shenanigans that can be- for as much of a stigma sex is for your set, much is done behind closed doors"
She blushed, "not everyone..."
"I didn't say that" he responded, patiently.
"You must think me horribly naïve"
"I think your parents sheltered you..."
She nodded, "I don't deny that...I think that is one of the main reasons they hated me going to nursing school"
"I can see that" he studied her, "This really upsets you. Why is it?"
"I really am not upset, Neil" she said, "It's just I hate that other women have had this with you, women you weren't married to"
"You are jealous"
She looked over at him, surprised, "I didn't think of it that way, but maybe"
"Are you worried about comparisons again?"
"No" She shook her head, "I just want better for you"
"What do you mean by that?" he asked.
"You gave part of yourself to women- women you didn't care about"
"I did no such thing" Neil said. "It was physical"
"You know I do think that is an excuse"
"An excuse?"
"To justify your past behavior"
"Adelaide" Neil let out his breath, "Do you really think that?"
"I do" she paused at his temper rising, "but I also think you are good man" she added, her voice gentle "with some faults thrown in there"
"Do you doubt my character?"
"Absolutely not" she reassured him, adamantly, "And I am almost positive that once you commit to a woman, then that is it"
"I can assure you of that...I can't even think of another woman...you are it for me, Adelaide" he reached over to smooth down her hair, "and I have told you before, you are different than any other woman I have been with"
"Why do you say that?"
"I find I want to be a better man for you" he said, quietly, "I want to be worthy of you"
She paused, her heart thumping at his vulnerability. She scooted over to wrap her arms around his neck, "You are worthy of me" she told him, "Why would you think you are not?"
"I'm so different than what you did have...what you could have" he told her, truthfully, "you can't deny you married beneath you"
"By society's view, yes" Adelaide conceded, "but by my view, not at all"
"Do you wish I had Simon's faith?"
She looked into his eyes, "Truthfully?"
"Aye"
"Yes and no"
"Meaning?"
"I want you to have Neil's faith" she said, quietly. "yours, personal to you. I want you to know and believe God"
"Are you okay if that never happens?" he said.
"I..." she swallowed, "I want it to happen"
"I know" he pulled away from her. "I'm sorry to disappoint you"
"Wait a minute there" Adelaide pulled him back closer to her, "You don't disappoint me, Neil. And I don't want you to have faith for me, I want it for you. I want you to have peace. You are so bitter sometimes"
"I can't deny that" he said, "but I have a lot of reason to be"
She nodded, "You see the harshness and brokenness of the world firsthand here"
"You'll see it too" he told her, "Just wait"
A spark of fear and almost foreboding filled her as she broke their contact. She scooted down on the bed, her head plopping on the pillow, staring at the ceiling, lost in her thoughts.
"Hey there" Neil laid down again and reached for her, pulling him into his arms. He could feel her trembling and his grip tightened. "lass, I didn't mean to frighten you. I just want you to be prepared"
She swallowed hard, "I lost my husband in these mountains, Neil. I've known sorrow."
He nodded, "I know, love"
She wiggled out of his embrace and abruptly sat up to reach for her robe, shrugging it on, her back to him. "I'm going to go get Simon and carry him up here"
"Wait a minute" Neil reached for her hand, gently pulling it so she was sitting back on the bed, "What's wrong?"
"I know you think me to be brave, but I do have a lot of fears. What if it is you or Simon next?"
"Isn't that where your God is supposed to help?"
She met his eyes, "Yes, it is, but my faith lacks at times. I have worries and doubts and I have a hard time trusting in Him. This is where Simon would help"
"I don't believe what you do, but I can help too" Neil said, rubbing her shoulder. "Don't be anxious about things that aren't in front of us and when they are, we'll deal with it together. I am bitter and cynical about things, lass, but if you need a rock, I can be that for you"
"Is anybody sick in the Cove that I should know about?"
"No, sweetheart, everything is just fine for now"
She nodded.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so gloomy. I wasn't thinking how that would make you feel"
She bit her thumb, "Alright"
He reached to tug out her thumb. "This is not how I anticipated our night going. Are you upset?"
She shook her head, "No, I'm fine now"
"I feel like I botched this up"
"No, you really didn't" she said, quietly, "I'm glad you told me about part of yourself"
He nodded, "If you ask me things, I won't keep my past from you, Adelaide."
"The past is the past and I get to be your last...that's special too" she paused, "I suppose unless something happens to me"
He cupped the back of her head "don't talk like that, sweetheart. And even if that does happen, I'm pretty sure you are my last. There will never be another Adelaide. I'm completely spoiled by you"
"Such flattery" she teased, her lips forming into a small smile, "Are you itching for some more love making, Doctor MacNeill?"
He traced the seam of her lips with his thumb, "Is that an offer?"
She slowly untied the sash to her robe, dropping it off her shoulders. "Does that answer your question?" she asked.
His eyes drilled into hers. "You can't answer a question with another question" he chided.
"I think I just did" she said, boldly.
A hint of amusement, but his eyes clouded with a stronger emotion. "I think you just did" he said as he swiftly toppled her on the bed.
She giggled, the sound filling up the room.
He traced her side as he pulled away, "Now, you get the giggles?"
She laughed more, but her laughter faded as Neil began to kiss down her neck, continuing on, causing her to squirm.
"You are awfully quiet now" Neil said as he continued to kiss her.
"Hum...this is one way to distract me from my worries" she murmured.
He pulled away and leaned up to whisper in her ear, "By the way, it wasn't flattery for sex, Adelaide, it happens to be the truth. I love you lass"
She looked into his eyes and the words were on her tongue. They stared at each other for a few moments, him waiting patiently for her, sensing what she wanted to say. And she almost did, but still...the fear took over again. She leaned forward to kiss him instead, hoping that he understood. And the way he made love to her in the minutes that followed showed her that he did.
Neil was called away the next week and was gone overnight- the first night Adelaide was alone with Simon in the cabin. He returned home that evening for supper. He caught Adelaide up on his patients and she on what he missed with Simon. After supper, she gave the babe a bath and put him to bed. She sat down on the couch next to Neil.
"You look pale" he said, tracing the edge of her face, "are ye feeling well?"
"Not entirely"
"What is it?" he sat up, quickly.
"I'm fine, Neil" she said, just as quickly, her face getting red.
"Well?" he waited.
She frowned, "Just because you are a doctor, doesn't give you the right to my body"
He titled his head, "but being your husband does- isn't that what your bible says?"
"You can't use the Bible to make your point when you don't believe it" Adelaide said, her eyes wide.
"Aye" he grinned, "I can, because you believe it"
"Convenient" she said, dryly, "I'm fine"
He leaned over and kissed her, "Good, then you should feel good enough for us to make love. I missed you"
She put her hand on his chest and pushed him back. "Is that all you think of?"
"Aye" Neil said, solemnly, but his eyes twinkled. "I don't have a thought in my head besides sex. Who cares about doctoring or trachoma cures or all that other frivolous matters when I have Adelaide to keep me warm at night?"
"I'm pretty sure you keep me warm at night"
He chuckled, "We are working on that, now aren't we, wife of mine?"
"Oh, just hush" her hand was still applying pressure to his chest.
"Why don't you just tell me what hurts, Adelaide?" the twinkle increased significantly with her response.
"Because we are still working on that, that's why" she said, exasperated. "You can't expect me to be open with you all the time because I'm trying really hard, but I can't just give up years of how I was raised. But my pace isn't good enough, is it?" she accused as tears filled her eyes.
He was shocked by her sudden shift in mood. This was not normal at all. "Whoa, hold on. I'm honestly not criticizing you, love. You are taking it all wrong" Neil rubbed her arm, "Why so defensive?"
She shrugged.
"Do you really feel that poorly?"
"I told you I'm fine"
"Adelaide"
He paused at her silence, "You are going to make me guess, aren't you?"
"Feel free"
He leaned forward, resting his ear on her chest. "Breathe"
"Shouldn't you do this from the back?" she said, sassily.
"This is more fun" he said, rubbing her thigh.
She popped his head, "Neil MacNeill"
He straightened up, "Ye don't sound overly congested- a bit. Is that it?"
"Springtime always makes me a bit congested" she said, quietly, "but no, that's not it"
"Hum" he reached to feel her forehead, "Cool. You didn't eat much dinner. Does your stomach hurt?"
"Not exactly"
"How's that?" He paused, "Did you start your cycle?"
She nodded. "This morning"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm completely sure" she said, "Trust me, it's back"
"It's awfully soon after the babe" he said, questioning.
"Are you really questioning me about this?"
"Maybe you are spotting" he said, straight forward as usual. "Most woman it is a few months, even a year or so before they have a normal cycle"
It was all too much for Adelaide.
"Listen" Adelaide put a finger on his chest, poking him again, "I know what I'm talking about. And yes, I'm aware of how it is for most women. And I'm irritated about it, okay? I should have at least had another few months."
"I just...maybe something else is going on" he said, his eyes on her. "Are you sure it is not spotting?"
She looked stormy, "I'm not an idiot, Neil. And I've been having cycles since twelve years old, so I'm pretty sure even though I'm not a doctor, I know what they are. It's too much for spotting if you must know. And, I'm crampy...and my milk supply is low so Simon has been extra fussy...so on top of everything, I have a cranky baby which makes a cranky mama, which will only lead to trouble for you if you continue with this inane line of questioning. Am I making myself clear?"
Neil held up his hands in surrender, "Understood, wife"
"See that you do"
He stood, "Do you have the herbs that Opal gave you? I'll make you tea that should help with you nursing the wee one"
She nodded, "Now, that, Doctor MacNeill, would be very helpful"
He adjusted the pillow on the couch. "Lay down and see if that helps the cramps too"
Her eyes filled with tears as she sniffled, "You are being so sweet to me now"
"Oh dear God" Neil laughed, loudly, "Is this how you are every month?"
"Oh just hush" Adelaide swiped at him as he moved away from her.
He grinned, "I like this fire in you lass" he said, appreciatively. "It's fun"
She rolled her eyes, "I'll make sure it comes out more often for you then"
"Maybe not too often" he said, "maybe just enough to keep me amused"
"Very funny" Adelaide shook her head, as she watched him putting on the kettle.
He turned to her, "You do know what this means, don't you?"
"That I'm cursed?" she asked, gloomily.
"No" he chuckled, "That you, my wife, can conceive sooner than we thought"
"Oh my" she shook her head, "If you get me pregnant when that babe upstairs is not even two months old, I'll cry"
He nodded, "We'll take measures to prevent"
"Good" She paused, "Just a few more months, okay? I know you must want a child"
"I do" he told her, honestly, "but we do have Simon"
"We do" she nodded, "I'm glad you feel that way" She paused, "Neil, am I alright to have another child?"
"I think we need to wait for sure" he told her, honestly. "Your body needs time to heal. I have seen so many woman's health waste away by having babe after babe without recovery time and with your delivery last time, I would worry if you got pregnant now, that's for sure"
"But..." she questioned, "that's not entirely answering my question"
"I think you will be fine to have another babe" he told her. "If I thought there was danger for you, I would insist that we use preventative measures"
"Even though you don't have a child yet?"
He put the tea to steep and turned to her, "Adelaide, I didn't marry you to bear my babes. And if it is between having babies and having you, I will always choose you, understood?" he asked, adamantly.
"I do" she said. "But I do want more children with you"
"You should be fine"
"Good" she nodded. He sat back down next to her. "Neil?"
"Aye?"
"Will you hold me while we wait for the tea to steep?"
"Absolutely" He put his arms around her, pulling her close. "I love holding you, lass"
Her heart swelled and she began to cry into his chest.
"My, these mood swings are hard to keep on top of" Neil chuckled.
"I don't even know why I am crying" she sobbed. "I missed you so much when you away"
"That's a good thing, sweet lass"
She leaned into him, breathing in his scent, "Somehow, you make everything better when you are here."
He smiled, "I'm glad you feel that way" he kissed her head. "Coming home to you is so much better too"
"We are finding our way in this marriage, aren't we?"
He stroked her hair, "Aye, we are"
"Does that make you happy?"
"Thrilled, lassie" Neil responded, "you have no idea how much"
"I think I might" she reached for his hand, and twined her fingers through his, "I want to give you a child one day. You deserve that and so much more"
"Sweet Adelaide" Neil kissed her head. "I don't deserve any of this, but I'm glad it found me"
"Me too" they sat in silence, until Neil rose to fetch her tea, them spending the rest of the night together, enjoying each other's company.
"Adelaide" Neil hollered from the yard.
"What is it?" Adelaide came out, juggling Simon in her arms.
Neil tethered Charlie off of the porch. "Orterball O'Teale developed trachoma. It's severe"
Adelaide shifted Simon, "Oh no. What do you need?"
"He's at the mission. I need supplies. We need to do the surgery as soon as possible"
Adelaide paused, "We?"
"Alice is away. I need your help. Do you think you can?"
"Yes, but what about the baby?"
"Christy said she will watch him" Neil said. "I could ask her to help if you think that would be better"
"Christy gets squirmy with blood" she said as she followed him into the lab, laying Simon on the bed and then helping him gather his medical supplies.
"Aye, I know" he retorted, evenly, "It's going to take a while though. You'll have to let me know when you need to feed the babe...and you will need to wash thoroughly. I don't want Simon exposed to any of the bacteria"
Adelaide faltered for a moment and Neil looked at her.
"If I thought there was a risk I would insist you stay home. I think it will be fine with appropriate precautions, lass. Take your apron and a change of clothes. He'll need considerable amount of post-surgical care but we deal with that then"
"Very well"
Adelaide winced as Simon started screaming again.
"You fed him before we started" Neil said, "Ignore him. Christy should be able to handle him"
It was the first time that Adelaide was confronted with being both a nurse and a mama and Neil could sense her tension and her distraction. She was usually so completely in tune and focused during surgeries, listening and questioning, anticipating his next move and this type of surgery was what she wanted to observe since she moved to the Cove.
"Adelaide" he glanced at her, "I need you focused now. The babe is fine"
She frowned, but directed her attention back to the task.
Simon continued to cry in the background, which Neil ignored completely, talking her through the surgical techniques. Adelaide shifted again on her feet, feeling quite uncomfortable.
"You should stop comfort feeding the babe" Neil said, quietly, "that is the problem" he placed the instrument back on the tray and picked up another one, "he doesn't know how to soothe himself"
"This isn't the time for that conversation" Adelaide countered as they heard a wagon drive up. Simon's wails increased her physical discomfort, but she didn't know how to tell Neil that. She felt so full and aching. She shifted again.
"Let's just focus" Neil reminded her, "See that here. We are going to scrape those layers and I'll show you them under the microscope later"
They worked for another few minutes, the door to the mission opening and closing.
"I wonder who that is" Adelaide said, as Simon's wails continued to fill the air.
"I don't think Alice has returned yet" Neil said, "Maybe Opal or Fairlight stopped by?"
Simon stopped crying.
"Oh good" Adelaide visibly relaxed and Neil smiled.
"I told you he would be fine, lass" Neil said.
"Adelaide"
Adelaide nearly dropped the basin she was holding as she turned around towards the voice.
"Mother, what are you doing here?" she squeaked.
Julia gave her a disapproving look from the doorway as she held her grandson in her arms, him sucking on a wet washcloth.
"Wait, please tell me that is water, mother"
"Milk" Julia retorted, "If you can't spare time to feed your own son..."
"He's too young for that" Adelaide's eyes widened. "And he didn't need to be fed"
Neil continued to work, but Adelaide could sense his frustration.
"Adelaide, a little milk won't hurt the boy" he told her, quietly, carefully scraping the tissue he took from the eyelid into the basin.
"But, what if he refuses to nurse now?" Adelaide said, aghast. For one, she couldn't imagine the mess if she had to stop nursing Simon or where they would get milk fulltime, but she was also so aching, she needed relief. If Simon didn't feed, she would be miserable.
Neil took a breath, "Our first priority needs to be our patient"
"Your first priority needs to be your patient, Doctor MacNeill, my daughter's needs to be her son" Julia's voice barely contained her anger.
"We will talk about this later" Neil said, "Adelaide, why don't you wash up and go tend to the babe? Send David to help"
"But..." Adelaide began to protest, but Neil cut her off,
"Now, lass" Neil told her, firmly, "I need to concentrate and all of this is distracting"
She could tell that he wasn't going to budge.
"Fine" Adelaide sat the basin down and swept over to the water basin to begin to thoroughly scrub her hands. She took over her apron and then reached for her bag.
"Mother, I need to change, will you please hold Simon until I can?"
"Of course, darling" Julia said, smoothly, "he seems quite content now"
Neil glanced up long enough to see Adelaide shoot her mother the frostiest glare he had ever seen from her. This did not bode well.
Neil grunted as he glanced towards the doorway. Adelaide's voice was raised, abnormally so. She usually didn't make such a fuss, but she and her mother were having quite the heated discussion as he was trying to finish the surgery.
"Sounds like Addie is upset" David said casually, handing Neil the instrument he asked for.
"That's putting it mildly" Neil retorted. "Somebody needs to stop her before the whole Cove hears about it"
"I'm not interfering"
"Isn't that your job to resolve strife?"
David laughed, "Nice try. I think it is your job, Doc"
"Scared of Adelaide?"
He laughed harder, "I'm thankful Christy's temper isn't nearly that bad"
"You just have to know how to talk to her" Neil countered, "but still, this is ridiculous"
"Julia has quite the notions of how her daughters should behave" David murmured, "Christy complies well, but Adelaide..."
Neil nodded, "but she is my wife now and if I want her to assist with my surgeries, then that is our prerogative"
"No offense, Doc" David said, easily, "but I'm not sure it will be that easy"
"I didn't say it was going to be easy" Neil muttered, "There. Let's take OrterBall to recovery and I'll see if I can navigate the waters between my wife and mother in law"
"Good luck with that Doc" David said.
"You have no right to interfere" Adelaide repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time, "he's my son. Mine and Neil's"
"You should have never stayed here" Julia said, disapprovingly. "What kind of life are you giving him?"
"A life with a good man as his father" Adelaide countered.
"There is no doubting Neil is a good man" Julia said, "which is why your father didn't offer objection-"
"I'm sure Daddy got much grief for that decision" Adelaide retorted.
"You could have any man, Adelaide, even as a widow" Julia said, "all you had to do is conform just a little bit better to the ways of society"
"But I don't want to conform" Adelaide said, exasperated. "And if Neil is fine with me helping him with surgeries-"
"Your son was screaming" Julia's voice raised, abnormal for her. "Screaming for his mama"
"He was fine" Adelaide said, "we were trying to save Orterball's eyesight. Simon could wait a few minutes. I had just fed him not so long ago"
"He seemed to want to eat"
"He would always eat if I let him" Adelaide retorted, balling her fists.
Neil cleared his throat. "Ladies" He went over to pick up Simon who was lying on a blanket on the floor. "For the two of you arguing over who is showing Simon appropriate attention, ye are sure ignoring the lad right now"
"I was watching him" Adelaide said, as she reached to pick up the baby's sock and blanket, "He kicked this off"
"You were watching, though?" Neil asked, looking at her.
"You tell me not to watch him every moment" she slid the sock on the baby's foot and then gave the baby a kiss. "How's OrterBall?"
"In recovery" Neil said, "the surgery went well"
"I should have been there" Adelaide shot him a glare.
Neil gazed at her evenly, "You were distracted throughout the whole surgery, lass, and that is a fact"
Julia looked almost triumphant.
"That being said" Neil shifted Simon, "when you are not, you are the finest nurse I have ever had the privilege of working with and the finest mother to our son. I think we can find the balance of you doing both, but it will be something that you and the lad have to adjust too. I don't think we should give up with you helping me"
Adelaide opened her mouth to respond, but Neil quickly continued, his voice unyielding, "but we will talk about that further in private"
Julia just shook her head, wearily. "the boy was inconsolable, Neil"
"I am aware of how upset he was, Julia" Neil countered, "at the same time, Simon needs to learn that he can't always have what he wants when he wants it"
"He is so little though" Julia retorted, "surely at his age..."
"I wouldn't recommend it all the time at his age, but having him wait a bit will not irreversibly cause harm to him"
"Surely Adelaide being around disease is not good for either her or Simon"
"I believe that appropriate precautions were taken" Neil said, quietly, "but that is something I decide not only as the physician in this Cove, but Adelaide's husband"
"Of course, I wouldn't presume to interfere" Julia demurred.
"Since when have you not?"Adelaide laughed, but Neil swept over to her and squeezed her side before putting his arm around her waist, causing her to sober up.
"Did you feed Simon, lass?" he changed the subject.
"He didn't eat much" she said, her temper rising again, "thank mother for that one. If my milk dries up..."
"Adelaide, honestly" Julia admonished, "I raised you better than to be so coarse"
"Clearly not, mother" she said, even though Neil's arm tightened around her.
"I'm sure you will both be fine" Neil intervened, his voice soothing.
She pulled away from him, "Are you? Because I'm not"
"I think if you would step back and think about it, you would agree" Neil told her, quietly. "Your temper is up"
"Neil" she looked at him, aghast.
"Adelaide" he responded, evenly, continuing to pat Simon, "He's fine. I promise you it won't hurt him"
"And Doctor MacNeill is the professional" Julia added, "I'm sure he knows"
"I'm a nurse. I know too"
"Of course, darling" Julia conceded and Adelaide frowned.
"What are you doing here anyway?" she asked.
"Can't I see my daughters when I feel like it?" Julia asked.
"Of course you can, mother" Adelaide said, "just a warning would be nice at times"
"Which is why I came here so I wouldn't interrupt the newlyweds" Julia said, "I remember what young love was"
It was a dig and one that stung Adelaide's pride immensely. She knew that her mother knew better.
She balled her fists, "How thoughtful of you, mother" her tone was icy. "Thank you for being so considerate to my feelings, as always"
"I think it is time for you to go home, Adelaide" Neil said, reaching over to gently pull her back to his side, "I'll be home in a few hours when Alice returns to help with OrterBall's recovery"
Adelaide wouldn't meet his eyes, "I'll have supper ready for you"
"That would be nice" he said, putting Simon in her eyes and giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek.
Christy stepped into the room, "Leaving already, Adelaide? David and I were hoping you and Neil would stay for supper"
"Simon needs to rest" Neil said. "He was practically falling asleep on my shoulder. And I think Adelaide needs to rest as well"
Christy looked between the two of them, "Of course, I'm sure OrterBall's surgery was exhausting. Everything is alright with him, though, yes?"
"We will know more later" Neil told her.
"Come for lunch tomorrow then" Christy suggested, "I know mother and you want to spend time together"
"Of course" Adelaide said, smoothly, "Christy would you walk with me a bit?"
"Sure, Sissy. Let me get my shawl"
"Don't forget yours, lassie" Neil said, "and the bag for the lad"
"Yes, of course" Adelaide said, bending down for both. "I'll see you when you return"
He nodded and she left with Christy.
"What's wrong, sissy?" Christy asked as they stepped onto the porch.
"He took her side!"
She looked at her, sympathetically, "I'm sure he didn't truly. He was just probably trying to calm you both down"
"But he reprimanded me...not her"
Christy laughed, "Sissy, he can't exactly chide mother"
"It's unfair" She pouted and Christy rubbed her arm,
"You were being awfully loud about it. David said that Neil bothered by it"
"He made David take over for me- he said I was distracted"
"Were you?"
"Maybe a little"
"Your feelings are hurt" Christy commented. "I'm sure he didn't mean you were incompetent"
"He has never thought I've done a bad job helping him until today...has being a mother really made me incompetent as a nurse? Is that what he thinks?"
"Be fair to him" she responded, "he always sings your praises, Adelaide. He even told me he thinks you are brilliant and you are"
"I'm sure he didn't say brilliant"
"He did, actually" Christy said, "and if you were distracted by Simon crying, that's natural too. It doesn't mean you are a bad nurse or a bad mother, it just means you have to figure out how to balance everything"
"Mother doesn't see it that way"
"She was angry" Christy conceded.
"She made a comment about not bothering us because we are newlyweds"
Christy crossed her arms, "She is just annoyed, sissy. Don't worry about that"
"He said he loves me" she stopped in her tracks and then looked uncomfortable, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for..."
"I know he loves you, Adelaide" Christy responded, gently. "And he should. Is he pushing you?"
"No" she shook her head, swiftly, "he is so patient with me"
"Then be patient with yourself" she advised.
"Christy?" Adelaide looked over to her sister.
"Yes?"
"Would Simon...would he be angry with me?"
"For having feelings for Neil?" Christy asked and then shook her head, "No, Addie, I think he would be happy that you are opening your heart up again"
She thought for a moment as they walked further. "I'm still mad at him for taking mother's side"
Christy laughed, "Of course you are. I would expect nothing less from you. He can't get off so easily, now can he?"
Adelaide laughed as well now. "No, he cannot"
Adelaide brushed her hair out, with gusto. Neil watched her from his perch on their bed. They had come to bed thirty minutes ago and Adelaide had taken her time getting ready. The lad was still downstairs to allow them to get ready in the light.
"Adelaide, you are goin to pull out your hair if you keep it up" Neil said, frowning.
She continued with her efforts and Neil stifled a groan before asking, calmly, "are you angry?"
"Why would you think that?" Adelaide continued to brush.
"You barely said two words to me since I've gotten home"
"I'm sorry, I suppose I was distracted" Adelaide said, putting her brush down and then reaching for her lotion.
Neil grunted, "Lass"
She squirted the lotion in her hand and began to rub, methodically and swiftly.
"Yes?"
"You were distracted during the surgery and that's a fact"
"Yes, you said that before" she answered, still rubbing. "I forgot how much disinfectant dries out my hands"
Neil hopped off of bed and walked across to her, "Let me see"
He examined her red, cracked hands and then crossed the room to his drawer of the bureau. He took out a little container of cream and applied a generous helping to her hand.
"Stings?" he asked.
"A bit"
"It's healing then"
"Yes"
He dropped her hands and then gripped her face, "You are too sensitive these days, lass"
"I have you saying I'm a failure, my mother saying I'm a failure..."
"I never said anything like that" Neil retorted, "You can't take constructive criticism"
"Was I not doing my job?"
"No, you were" he said, quietly, "just I need you focused when you help me. You have been begging me to help with this and when the opportunity arose..."
"I let you down"
"Sweetheart, no" Neil looked into her eyes, "You have such a skill for nursing...but like anybody, when you are distracted, the chance for errors increases greatly. It's my job to make sure I'm giving my patients the best chance possible. I'm sorry if my reprimand hurt your feelings"
"You don't have to be sorry. I'm being a baby about it" she responded and then threw her arms around his shoulders. "Your good opinion has always matter so much to me...too much perhaps"
He sighed deeply and then wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him. "I love you, lass. And I'm thankful you want to please me, but you aren't going to every hour of every single day"
"I stayed here because I wanted to be a nurse even though I am a mother and I guess I'm realizing how hard it is"
He squeezed her tightly, "We'll figure it out for you to keep doing what you love. Honestly, one setback can't define you"
"My mother thinks it does"
"Your mother had no right to interfere"
"Yet, you took her side" she said.
"No, I was just trying to stop you before you did more damage to your relationship with your mother"
She pulled away, "she had no right to feed Simon"
"Perhaps he was hungry" he tweaked her nose, "a growth spurt"
She snorted, "Maybe, but Simon is my son, not my mother's"
"Our son, lassie"
"Our son" she amended. "she will not be happy until I am back in Asheville, managing a home and throwing tea parties and functions"
"She doesn't have say anymore, Adelaide" Neil told her, "you are my wife and we make the decisions for us now"
"She doesn't see it that way..." she responded, "She was always trying to interfere with Simon and turn him to her side. I'm a huge disappointment to her. I will never be who she wants me to be, Neil, and..." she paused, looking away. "I react out of anger to that"
"Here, let's sit" Neil reached for her hand and led her to the bed. "Adelaide"
She turned her head, her eyes meeting his.
"Even if you and your mother don't see eye to eye, she is still your mother" he told her, quietly.
She stilled, "Are you reprimanding me again?"
"Maybe giving you a reminder" Neil said, with a small smile.
"Neil" she groaned, "honestly, I'm not your child" she rose.
"No, don't do that" he reached back for her hand and pulled her down. "we both have tempers, lassie, and I understand why you lost yours, but..." he paused, struggling for the words to ease the sting, "you have to understand how I was raised too. I would never have spoken to my parents that way, even as an adult. And if other people, hear that...you weren't in the wrong in what you were saying, but the way you were saying it was wrong..."
"You are piercing my pride tonight, Neil"
"I know, sweetheart" he told her, leaning over to kiss her head, "Control your temper"
"This is so ironic, coming from you" she said, wearily, "and part of it was me defending you"
"I know"
"You do?"
"I do" Neil said, "and we'll work to prove to your mother that this is the best life for you, by showing her how happy you and Simon both are. And you don't need your mother's approval to know you are a good mother"
"But I do" she said, quietly. "Deep down, I do"
"Listen to me" he squeezed her hand, "Your mother is reacting to our situation, not to you. She is worried about you and the babe"
"Why is that?"
"Sweetheart, look at where you came from and where you are now. She is your mother. She has every right to be concerned. Be patient with her and show her that we are fine. She even told me when you left that she knew that you are a great mother. Stop being so sensitive and start trying to think of things through her perspective instead of getting your feathers so ruffled"
"Why are you being so even keeled about this?"
Neil laughed and then traced her face, "Someone has to be right now"
"You aren't the least bit put out by her comments?"
"A little" he conceded, "but I'm used to that. Thicker skin, Adelaide"
She showed him her hands, which were definitely not as soft and smooth as they once were. "I'm developing it"
Neil smacked her playfully, "That's not what I meant, sassy lass"
She smiled at him, her eyes brightening for the first time that night.
And there it was again, the feeling deep in her stomach, twisting as her heart hammered. She felt so much for this man. He soothed her pride. He made her feel secure. But he also tried to help her become better, smoothing away the rough edges to her heart, just as she knew she was beginning to do to him.
He looked at her, again, his eyes understanding, until she finally said, "Thank you" she leaned over to give him a hug.
"You're welcome" he replied, easily, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"I'm not a failure?"
"Of course not, love" he said.
"Christy said you told her I was brilliant"
Neil pulled away and then laughed at her expression. "Christy shouldn't have repeated that. We wouldn't want it to go to that pretty head of yours"
Her smile was wide, "Do you think I'm pretty too?"
He poked her side, "Enough" and then he pulled her into him, "and of course I do"
She hugged him tightly again, clinging to him. "I'm glad I married you, Neil"
"I'm glad too, Adelaide"
They were silent for a few moments, just holding each other before Adelaide asked,
"Can I look at the skin layers under the microscope?"
Neil pulled back, surprised, "Now?"
"I've been waiting forever to do so"
"Well, why didn't you say something after we put the lad in bed instead of sulk?" he asked.
She shrugged, "I suppose I was in a mood"
"That's an understatement" Neil said, "but yes, let's go"
"And will you explain it to me?" she asked.
"Of course"
"And I have loads of questions from the surgery today"
He paused, turning around from her, in the doorway. "Do you?"
"Of course, I was paying attention, Neil" she said, "and I was taking it all in..." she paused. She couldn't quite say the words to him yet, but she could show him that she trusted him and felt comfortable with him. She reached for his hand, "I was distracted not so much because Simon was crying, but because my breasts were so full and uncomfortable the more he cried." she told him, bluntly.
His eyes widened slightly, "I should have thought. Why didn't you say something to me?"
"I didn't want you to think I couldn't do both- that all of this was just too complicated"
"I see. You still should have told me. We were there by ourselves, nobody else would have heard"
"I know, Neil"
"Did he nurse well later to give you some relief?"
"Thankfully" she said, "I was worried that I would explode. Now that wouldn't have been sanitary at all"
"Granny does say breast milk has healing powers" He threw back his head and laughed, "Next time just tell me that's what distracting you. I would have sent you up to feed him even if he had just eaten an hour before."
"Really?"
"Of course" he told her, squeezing her hand, "there are so often times that our needs have to be put aside for the good of the Cove, but this was not one of those times. And in the future if you assist me on more surgeries, I promise to be mindful of that" He reached to smooth down a stray hair, "there are problems that can arise for you, if you skip feedings too often, lass, and I don't want you to become ill or in pain"
"I'm sorry I gave you the cold shoulder tonight" She told him, "After you answer all my questions, I can try to make it up to you if you aren't too tired"
He smiled at her, "I look forward to that"
They went downstairs and passed a sleeping Simon, entering the lab. "Neil?" she said as he began to prepare the slide and she watched him work from her spot on the bed.
"Aye?"
"I'm sorry I'm..." she paused, "I wish I could give you more right now"
"You will when you are ready and besides that you give me enough, Adelaide" he looked up from his work, "Never doubt that."
"Thank you"
"You're welcome" Neil said, easily, "Now, get yourself over here so I can show you this. I'm curious about all your questions"
She hopped off the bed and made her way to his side, leaning over for a kiss before looking into the microscope, her heart full.
A/N: Would love thoughts!