Chapter 23
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"Come on, please?" I pleaded, holding the spoon up, finding it was once again gently pushed away.
"I'm not hungry" Was Donnie's deep throaty reply as he shook his head, his eyes half closed. I knew he was tired, but-
"You need to eat something" I protested, trying to bring the bowl and spoon up together, but he once again pushed them away.
"I'll eat later"
"You said that last time" I frowned at him, and he sighed.
I was so happy hearing his voice for the first time, and knowing... knowing he now had a chance. Knowing he wasn't just teetering on the edge of life or death. I think I would have squashed him if I hadn't been so weak myself in that moment, hugging him as tightly as I could. He'd returned it... we'd all had a good cry...
Rtaia had suggested the best course of action was to start getting Donnie to eat as soon as possible, as the nutrients would build his strength up to a point where we wouldn't have to worry about him slipping backwards health wise. But... Donnie was making it difficult, to say the least.
"Rtaia told me this has what you need to get better"
"Jade, I know you mean well, but I really don't know if-"
"Donatello..." I warned, seeing him look at me now, almost annoyed. He painfully moved his arm up to his face, shifting his glasses up. It was the only thing he was allowed to wear...
"So when was the last time you ate? Or even slept for that matter? Look at you..." Now his warm hand was cupping my cheek, and I felt tears well in my eyes again... damn his hold on me...
He must have read something on my face, because his demeanor changed, and he worked his way into a sitting position, with a little help from me, taking my arm and pulling me close.
"Only until I say no more" He finally conceded, and I half curled up against his side on the bed, positioning the small bowl, dipping the spoon into it and moving it to his waiting mouth. He sipped at it slowly, humming a little.
I went to give him another, hope starting to fill my chest, seeing him now giving me a look again.
"You didn't answer my question"
"Don't... just... we're focusing on getting you better now" I swirled the spoon in the soup, bringing it up to try and give him another mouthful. He took it, finally going quiet and just letting me feed him.
When he was halfway through the bowl he stopped me, and I looked up at him again.
"When did you sleep last?"
I sighed, looking back at the soup in the bowl and swirling it around again, starting to get annoyed. He'd almost died... more than once... and he wanted to know how I was?
I was stuck between anger and wanting to burst into tears again.
"I... I don't remember" I told him honestly, looking towards the door and feeling tears spring back to my eyes. He was making this harder than it needed to be!
"Jade..."
I turned to meet his sweet caring eyes, biting my lip and finally just letting the tears flow.
"Donnie... I couldn't sleep, knowing you were probably going to die. The thought of loosing you-" My voice caught in my throat, finally putting the bowl on the table beside us and looking up at him. He cupped my cheek gently again, and I finally moved to curl into his side, putting my arms around him as his arm went around my waist. I laid my head on his chest, relieved to feel the warmth there as well.
"I'm sorry I scared you"
I shook my head "Don't you dare. Just... we need to work on getting you better"
He sighed, but didn't say anything else, and I continued "You just gotta let me take care of you now, okay? You've taken care of me... now it's my turn"
"I know, I just... want you to take care of yourself too. You look a mess"
I managed to snort "Well thanks. I thought you were meant to tell me I looked beautiful no matter what"
"You do"
I moved to look up at him, kissing his cheek before curling into his side again. It felt so nice to have him back... after so long...
I felt myself drifting, hearing Donnie letting out a small snoring sound, pulling me closer to him.
"Hey guys"
We both jerked awake to see Leo enter the room, an apologetic smile on his face as he moved to sit on the chair I'd just been on.
"Scare the crap outta us why don't you" I muttered, hearing Donnie make a sound of agreement as I moved to sit up, slightly pulling away from him.
"Sorry, I just... I wanted to check in and see how you were" He said softly, and the look on his face made me instantly forgive his intrusion.
The turtles and Splinter were overjoyed that Donnie had woken up, and for a lot of the two days beforehand they had been... I guess you could call it... hogging the time with Donnie. Which I didn't mind too much, just knowing he was all right...
And I could only guess Leo, being the oldest and most protective of his brothers... was still worried he might go backwards, so he was keeping a keen eye on Donnie. He'd been checking in every time Donnie had fallen silent. I knew he'd also probably been listening in on our conversation... and us falling silent had probably worried him...
Raph, I knew, had been trying to wrangle Mikey, as he'd become almost hyperactive when he'd found out Donnie had woken up. He'd been... a little too much for Donnie to handle straight off, so Raph had made it his duty to keep him in check, so he wouldn't stress Donnie out too much. I noticed it had also improved his mood, and I guess the distraction was good for him. Gave him something to focus on.
Splinter... well, Splinters relief was also mixed in with a horrible grief that I knew wouldn't leave him so easily. I knew what happened with April still plagued his mind. We'd only spoken about it once since then, and he had admitted he did feel responsible. But there was nothing anyone could say or do for him that would help him now. It would just take time, and possibly seeing his son improve...
"I'll forgive you... but only cause you're cute" I smiled at him, winking a little and seeing his eyes widen a little. I heard Donnie let out a strangled cough.
Leo shook his head, and I looked from him to Donnie, who was now wheezing a little from the effort to stop coughing.
"It was a joke guys... a really bad one I guess" I sighed, patting the side of Donnie's shell and watching as he finally just took a deep breath, settling back against the bed frame.
"I think you gave Donnie a heart attack" Leo tried to joke, and Donnie let out a small snort.
"No... but apparently I've already had a few of those..."
That seemed to solemn the mood, and we all sat there for a little, all of us just thinking.
"Hey hey!" We all looked towards the door to see Marco stride in, smiling as Ithiell and Mikey came in after him, Mikey carrying what looked like a small television. I noticed Raph stop by the doorway, his eyes on all three of them.
"Why are you guys so... chipper?" I asked, watching as they set the small tv down on the edge of the bed, Ithiell moving to turn it on, tuning it.
"Because with my moms help, we..." Marco indicated to the television, as a news report flashed onto the screen, and Ithiell moved away.
"-another giant ship has miraculously been destroyed. We believe this may have been due to a group of local vigalanties-"
I caught images of what looked like the Aerionna swooping down, then neatly shooting past another massive pool ship, taking a shot and seeing something blowing up. Then the camera zoomed in to what looked liked Visser- I mean, Marcos mum, on the roof of a building nearby, talking to someone via a headpiece that Ithiell had made, then came another explosion, this time from inside the ship...
"Whoa..." Was all I could say, looking at the three. Mikey looked like he wanted to jump all over his brother, but a noise from Raph stopped him.
"We managed to take back Marco's town" Ithiell smiled now "And this time with zero casualties. Vis- I mean, Marco's mother was able to pinpoint all the weak points which we could target. Even Sequae helped"
"Sequae?"
"He's offered to help us until this world has been taken back. Now he's back to his original size, he can get around alot more easily, and he's been trying to teach Kristiana a bit"
"Hows your mum going?" I turned to Marco, worried for a moment if the question would upset him. Instead a huge grin spread across his face, and he almost puffed his chest out.
"It's really wonderful to have my mom back! Her and dad are talking about where we're going to live... I got my family back" He surprised me by suddenly moving to my side, his arms around my shoulders in a quick hug.
"Thanks Jade... wouldn't have been able to do it without you"
I smiled myself, hugging him back before he pulled away.
"Its what we do, don't we?"
"So... maybe next time, you could let me in on your plan?" Leo finally looked at Ithiell, who nodded, looking a little sheepish.
"Sure, but we'll discuss that later. Right now..."
I saw him looking from me to Donnie, smiling a little.
"Right.. rest..." Leo turned to the two of us, and Ithiell and Marco both ushered Mikey out the door after he'd picked up the tv. Leo go up, patting his brother on the shoulder, then mine, before following them. I saw Raph move so they could get out, then stood back in the doorway.
His hard demeanor suddenly faltered, and he looked almost upset, smiling sadly at me.
"Get some sleep you two, and... no dying brother" With that, he left, and I turned to look back up at Donnie.
To my surprise he smiled at me, managing to scooch himself back down to lay comfortably on the bed, pulling me down with him and half covering us with the blanket.
"Donnie, I-"
"You heard our leaders" He said in a deep voice "We need to rest"
"I think they meant you" I told him, even as I curled myself up against him, feeling him pull me as close as he could without hurting himself. I felt my heart ache a little, realising again how much I'd actually missed him...
I felt him slowly pull his glasses off, moving to set them on the table next to the soup, then moved back to lay down, grunting a little from the effort.
I rested my arm across his waist, my head now on his chest and hearing his slow and almost relaxed beating of his heart.
I felt myself drifting, suddenly hearing "Jade?"
"Hmm?" I managed to move my head to look up at him, and into those beautiful green eyes.
"I love you"
For some reason, it made me smile "And I have always loved, and will always love you Donnie"
He laughed a little "Cheeky girl"
With that, we both slipped into a comfortable sleep.
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I sighed, stepping out of the bathroom and pushing my damp hair back a little. Instantly my eyes were on the closed door, where Donnie was. I was a little annoyed the boys had booted me out, but Rtaia had told me he needed a thorough check over, and then Splinter and his brothers asked for some time with him.
I knew the real reason why they had booted me. Leo was concerned I had gone back to not eating, as he'd subtly told me to get something to eat as he hurriedly spoke about his brothers wanting to see him again.
I had to admit though, I had been... a little over protective of him. I'd barely left his side in over a month. In that time, Ithiell and Lowri had been working on getting more Chanaiben ships to divert to earth, to help us in our fight. So far, only two other ships had responded, but they were at least another week or two away. I honestly didn't know how long this war would last... we'd managed to get rid of two of the Yeerks pool ships, but there were still countless more all over the world. The only thing I could guess, was that we'd have to take back country by country.
We now had our city back, and the people in it were slowly starting to rebuild. Lowri and Mihra had been able to get some supplies to the people who were now there, and they had started to go back to the apartments and houses that were there.
"You smell much better now!" I jumped as I saw Amanda pop up beside me. She'd practically grabbed me, dragging me to the bathroom and telling me I stunk, and I had to have a shower straight away. So, when she'd given me the chance... I'd gone into Donnie's and my room, grabbing some things and going to stand in the running water. I had to admit, it did feel good to feel clean again.
I didn't realise how long it had been since I'd showered, until she'd pointed it out...
"So...thats.. good?" I responded, and she took my arm gently, leading me to the kitchen.
"Um... yes. Now..." She moved over to one of the fridges, opening it and humming, before pulling out some leftover food. She placed it on the counter in front of me, smiling a little as she then grabbed another plate of something.
"Now... you're going to try and eat something missy... and I won't hear no"
I groaned, moving and hitting my head on a wall, finding someone else was now there, pulling me away.
"What in the world are you doing?" Serah asked me, her dark eyes alight. I sighed, looking out-
"Jade, he's fine. He's with his turtle brothers and Splinter... and I'm sure when they're done you can have him back" Serah turned me around, practically shoving me back to the counter, where I looked at the two plates of food.
"I just..."
"Jade?"
I looked up into the big brown eyes of my oldest friend, seeing her scolding me without even saying anything... like she always did...
"All right, all right, I'll try. But if I'm sick I'm blaming you guys" I muttered, moving forward and picking some things on the plates, then feeling Serah take my shoulders and guide me into the dining room as Amanda reheated some of it for me.
She practically shoved me into my seat, going back to the kitchen, and I looked around the dining room. My eyes landed on the other person in the room, and I took in her appearance.
She was holding a mug tight in her hands, her eyes looking tired and puffy. She looked like she didn't even notice I was there...
"Hey Rach" I managed to get out, and she jerked, her head snapping around like she suddenly realised I was there. Then she sighed, closing her eyes a little.
"Hey Jade"
"Are... you okay?" I half regretted the words as soon as I said them, seeing tears welling up in her eyes, biting her lip. I was instantly up, almost jumping over the table and moving to wrap my arms around her shoulders as she put the mug on the table.
"I...I..."
"It's okay" I sat beside her so I could hug her properly, and she moved to dig her head into my shoulder, letting out a big sob.
I let her cry on my shoulder for a little, before I felt her tense up a little, moving back to wipe her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper.
"Sorry"
"Don't be" I told her, wanting to say more but knowing I had to be patient right now.
"I... it's just..." She went to grab her mug, seeming like having something in her hands was helping "I don't know what to do without Cassie.. she was my best friend... and then there's Jake..."
I was more than tempted to tell her everything I thought of him, but I held back.
"I know Jake was an asshole, and don't get me wrong near the end I wanted to strangle him as much as anyone else. But... he... he was my cousin. We grew up together... he..."
"I'm so sorry Rachel" I sighed, bringing her in for another hug, which she seemed more than happy to accept.
"Raph has tried to... and I've tried to be there for him... so don't think he hasn't tried to help me... but... well..."
"You both just need time to grieve separately?" I finished for her, and I felt her nod a little.
"How is Tobias going? Is he around?"
"I think he's in the hanger bay. I don't think he's doing too well... without Ax..."
I finally moved away from her, just sitting beside her "I doubt he would be. He and Ax were family. And now..."
"Maybe I'll talk to him later" I frowned, looking at her as she looked tiredly over at me. Obviously she'd had alot of trouble sleeping herself...
She sighed, and just at that moment Serah and Amanda came out, bringing my plate of food out. Amanda noticed the two of us, going to sit beside me as Serah sat on the other side of Rachel.
"I knew you weren't okay" Serah muttered, a hand on her back. She sighed.
"You, eat" Amanda pointed to me, then pushed a fork into my hand "And you... you need to learn to trust us. I know we're not her, but... we can help"
"And me" I protested a little, but moved to poke a piece of meat with the fork I had been given. My stomach actually rumbled...
"I know" She said, finally taking a sip of what I guessed was coffee, then looked at the three of us "I just... she meant the world to me, and now shes gone. And... Jake..."
"Oh trust me honey, Jake-" Serah shut up when I shot her a look, and she cleared her throat instead.
"Jake was just really lost" Amanda said softly, and I muttered in agreement, almost gobbling down the plate in front of me, unable to stop myself.
"Yeah, he was really lost. I still-" She bit her lip, looking like she was trying not to cry.
"Go on honey, its okay" Serah rubbed her back gently.
"I just wish we'd been able to sort things out, and I hate knowing we left it in such a horrible way. I think the last thing I said to him was something around the lines of 'I wish you'd just jump off a cliff'. Boy do I regret that..." She took another swig of coffee, then rubbed her eyes a little.
"I think... Cassie... I feel the worst about... I thought she was behind me... I heard the roof collapsing behind me, but I just..."
"Oh sweety, please don't do that to yourself" We looked up to see Kristiana come into the room, sitting on the opposite side of the table with a mug in her own hands.
"How can I not. I didn't look back-"
"No, don't even" I turned to her, grabbing her arm as gently as I could and making her look at me.
"Don't you even think about blaming yourself. This was not your fault, none of it. Jake... well Jake was an ass... and I'm sure he regrets it wherever he ended up, and Cassie... Cassie could never hate you... or even think of blaming you..."
Tears welled up in her eyes again, and I instantly regretted saying anything, seeing Serah move to hug her now, letting her cry onto her shoulder.
"Rach... I could help you" Kristiana said slowly, leaning forward and looking at her when she had finally pulled away from Serah.
"No"
The answer seemed to take Kristiana by surprise.
"No... thank you, but... no. I need to feel this. I need to... I need to grieve over my friend and my cousin. I know you mean well but... I need this" Rachel continued, and Kristiana nodded, smiling a little.
"At least let us be here for you. And remember our pact with the boys all that time ago?" I asked her, hoping I wasn't about to make her cry again. She looked at me, smiling and nodding, taking my hand and squeezing it.
"I remember. I promised you... and I will. Just... don't be surprised if I follow you into the med bay at some point"
I laughed a little, shaking my head "I'm sure Donnie won't mind either. He's probably so sick of seeing me by now"
"Oh pish posh" Kristiana waved her hand dismissively "Donnie will never get sick of you"
"Did you.. just... pish posh me?" I blinked, unable to believe my ears.
To everyone's surprise Rachel burst out laughing, a happy laugh, patting both Serah's and my shoulders.
"You girls... I totally love you all!"
I don't think any of us knew what to say to that.
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After I'd helped the girls clean up, and Rachel finally decided to go do something with the other three, I managed to sneak out to the hanger bay, looking around for the illusive bird-boy.
"Tobias?" I called out, looking around and up above me, then under the tables...
I moved to head outside, looking around and seeing what looked like Sequae there, not far from the entrance, chilling out in what looked like his own kind of covered scoop. Like... Ax had...
HELLO JADE CREATURE He said in his big booming voice, although not as earth shattering, as the doors shut behind me, and I went over to him as he turned to greet me.
"Hey big guy, how you doing out there? Hope you're not lonely" I moved over, avoiding stepping on his tentacles and moving to touch his side. As soon as I did...
I am fine Jade creature. And I am glad to see your Donatello creature is going to be well as well He now spoke directly to my mind, and it was almost like we could see into one anothers minds. I moved my hand back, finally seeing everything normally again.
"You've done well. Sorry we couldn't take you straight back to your planet" I told him. I'd just seen... almost like I'd experienced... him fighting... and snatches of his time with the Yeerks...
AND YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH A HARD TIME, JADE CREATURE. YET NOW YOU ARE... LOOKING FOR...
"Tobias" I told him, seeing him move a little, pointing a tentacle in a certain direction.
HE IS IN THAT DIRECTION, IF YOU WISH TO SEARCH FOR HIM.
"Thanks Sequae. You... be good"
I saw Sequae's form jiggle a little,and a strange huffing sound come from him, realising he was laughing a little. He smiled at me, then used a tentacle to gently push me in Tobias's direction.
I closed my eyes, and with alot of difficulty, managed to shift into a golden eagle, lifting into the sky as I said (Just... if they ask... tell them where I am for me?"
OF COURSE, JADE... FRIEND.
I smiled inwardly, taking off above the treeline and heading in the direction he had pointed, surprised to see and image of Tobias in my head, before I actually reached him. It must have had something to do with my link with Sequae...
Surprisingly, he was sitting by the same stream I'd found Jake at those months earlier, morphed into a human of all things. He was looking out over the water, a lost look in his eyes.
(Tobias?) He jerked when I landed beside him, starting to slowly rise from the ground as I shifted back.
"Jeez! You scared me" He muttered, rubbing his eyes a little. I smiled sheepishly at him when I was myself again.
"Sorry, didn't mean to" With that, I moved to sit beside him, looking quietly out at the slow moving water.
We fell silent, before I finally asked "How long have you been sitting here for?"
"Uh... a while. I just... needed to be human for a little while"
"Tobias... have you gone over the two hour-"
He shook his head "No, but if it makes you feel any better, I'll demorph then remorph"
Before I could answer him, he was starting to shrink, and I was soon looking into the hard face of a hawk. He hadn't said it with any malice, more... more sadness...
Before I knew it he was a human again, and he sighed, stretching his legs out before laying down, his arms dropping down on the ground above his head.
"Tobias?"
"I forgot what it was like to have arms and legs. Or even how long my arms and legs used to be. Feels so weird..."
"So... you going to tell me why you're out here, in the middle of no where... morphed?"
He sat up, moving himself a little so he could look at me, a frown on his face.
"Honestly Jade? I don't even know what I'm doing"
I tiled my head at him a little, and he sighed, looking back out at the water "I don't know what to do anymore. I just... Ax was a big part of my life, and I felt like I had a family with him. Yeah I know, he was an Andalite, and I don't know how all the morphing stuff works still but... well, he was my family. And now all that is just... gone"
"I know it doesn't mean much... but you got another kind of family back at the base. Worried about you, wondering if you're okay"
"It's not the same" He said plainly, and I sighed "I know"
We fell silent again, just sitting there and listening to the sounds of the forest around us.
"I'm sorry Jade. You really are a great friend, and I enjoy just talking to you. I just..." He seemed to have trouble finding the right words, before continuing "I feel like you're the only one I can talk to that isn't going to judge me"
I blinked, looking at him, surprised he'd made such a comment.
"Tobias?"
"Well... it's kinda true. Rachel is all gung ho, and Marco just makes dark jokes to get through all the bad times. Even now... I know he's hurting, but he won't admit it... it's like... hes in complete denial about Ax... and Cassie... and Jake..."
"Well, thank you I guess" Was all I could think to say, waiting patiently for him to continue.
"I... I miss Cassie too. I mean... she did take care of me and make sure I was all right and that. And just... I just feel like we abandoned her there. I was first out of that place, out of the three of us... and I just... I kept going, until Rachel asked where Cassie was..."
"Don't you go blaming yourself too" I blurted before I could stop myself, realising I now had to explain my comment when Tobias gave me a strange look.
"Rachel is in tatters over all of it. She's not really as gung ho as you think"
He sighed, putting his head in his hands and staying there for a long time.
"I... I want to cry Jade, but I... it's been so long, and I just think I've forgotten..."
I put a hand on his back, rubbing it gently "You'll get there. I think.. I think it's the best way to get it out"
He sighed, looking out over the water, and we both fell silent again, me rubbing his back and him looking hurt and torn.
Eventually, after what seemed like half an hour or so... the tears finally started to flow.
"Tobias?" Was all I could say, as he brought his knees up to his chest, hugging his legs and digging his face into his kneecaps.
I finally heard a sob, and I put my arm around his back, resting my head half on his shoulder as he finally let all the pain out, comforting him as best I could.
"You'll be okay Tobias" I told him, watching as the sun started to finally rise above the treeline, the sky turning a pretty shade of pink as it hit the clouds.
After a while, I heard his sobs die down a little, and I gathered the courage to say something to him.
"Want to go for a morning fly?"
I saw him lift his head, turning to me and nodding, his face streaked with tears from crying. I gave him another big hug, before standing up and awkwardly pulling him to his feet.
I became a red-tailed hawk this time, and he demorphed, both of us now taking off and up towards the brightening sky.
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Another big chapter... but I hope you enjoyed!
Constructive Criticism appreciated!