Chapter 17 - Saying Goodbye

Dean planned a romantic dinner for New Year's Eve but when he asked Amanda out, she told him that she wasn't feeling well and intended to go to bed early that night. Later he found out from Dotty that she had gotten dressed up in a gown to go to some sort of party that one of her Client's put on. She had explained it to Dotty that they had a beautiful Collie who meant the world to them and the dog had fallen so madly in love with Amanda that they needed her there for the party or else the dog would be upset and bark at all the guests. Dean decided not to confront Amanda about how she was supposed to be sick in bed.

A week later, Dean called Amanda from Chicago and could tell she had been crying. "What's wrong honey?" He asked. Amanda replied "I'm okay Dean. It's just that one of my client's plants just died and I couldn't save it. I'm not sure I should be doing this business because I can't keep my feelings out of things."

Dean softened his voice and said "Oh Amanda, it is okay. It is only a plant. I'm sure they can buy another one." Amanda began sobbing harder and said "I don't think you can just replace something that easily. Some things just are one of a kind and when you grow fond of them, you can't just simply find another one to take its place. Dean, I have to go. I'll talk to you when you get home."

Dean stared at the phone for at least 5 minutes after Amanda hung up wondering if he had changed or if Amanda had changed because lately she just didn't seem herself at all.

When Dean returned from Chicago and stopped by Amanda's house, he asked her "So how did the plant situation work out?" Amanda looked at him with a blank look and said "huh? What plant situation?" Dean said "You know, the plant that died?"

"Ohhhhh, that plant situation. Well it turns out it wasn't dead after all. I was able to save it." Dean just stared at Amanda with his mouth open. Amanda was busy cleaning her kitchen so she didn't notice Dean's reaction at all.

Later Dean found some quiet time with Dotty and asked her "Does Amanda seem okay to you? I talked to her while I was in Chicago and she was all emotional about a plant that was totally dead but when I came back, the plant was suddenly resurrected. I don't know what is going on with her lately Dotty. She doesn't seem like the same person that I met nearly a year ago at all."

Dotty said "Oh Dean, you know how women are, she is just going through a stage. You still want to marry her don't you?"

Dean said "I think so but we never seem to spend any time together anymore and I'm getting to the point where she almost seems like a stranger to me. Do you think she met someone else? There are times when I feel like she is lying to me. I never felt that way before until recently. I just don't know what to think anymore."

Dotty pleaded with Dean "I know my daughter loves you deep down inside. Please don't give up on her. You are the best thing that has happened to her in a while. She needs a nice dependable man like you in her life. I know! Why don't we invite your Mother to lunch and that way if we can win your Mother over, Amanda will see that it is a good idea to marry you."

Dean shrugs and says "My Mother is not an easy person to deal with though. Quite honestly she is very jealous of my dating Amanda or any woman for that matter and she would love to find any reason to talk me out of marrying Amanda. Are you sure you want to put yourself through her critique?"

Dotty responded "Dean, I can handle anyone. I just know that if Amanda gets along with your Mother, she will realize that she should jump at the chance for a nice stable life. Can you please ask your Mother if she can come to lunch in a couple of days? That will give me time to go grocery shopping and buy some food that is a little fancier than what we normally eat. Does she like Watercress? How about eclairs? I make some really good homemade eclairs."

"That would be fine Dotty. She really doesn't eat very much. She likes to watch her figure most of the time. I will ask her if she can be at your house on Wednesday if that is okay?"

"That sounds fantastic, Dean. Thank you. I'll let Amanda know."

Wednesday arrived and he hoped that things had gone smoothly. It wasn't long before his Mother stormed into the house and asked Dean "Why in the world would you want to marry a girl who can't even show up to a luncheon date that she agreed to?"

Dean asked what happened and his Mother said that Amanda never showed up. Dotty had forced her to eat all kinds of food while they were waiting but Amanda was so irresponsible that she didn't show up and didn't have the decency to even call. She wasted her whole day on this luncheon date and was highly disappointed that this was the type of girl he thought he wanted to spend his life with.

Dean apologized for Amanda and said that that she was not normally like this and that there had to be an explanation for it.

As far as his Mother was concerned, the subject was closed. She would not give her blessing for this marriage and told Dean that she might even have to disown him if he chose to marry her as she was sure Amanda was just using him for his money.

Dean sighed and said "Let me find out what happened Mother. I really care about her. She deserves to at least be heard."

That evening Dean called Dotty and found out that Amanda had been in a car accident and had partial amnesia. He rushed over to their house to see her and was shocked that she had no idea who he was. He reminded her of all the fun times they had spent together – the candlelight dinners, the bookends that he had brought back from New York. She just stared at him with a blank look while shrugging her shoulders at him. Then she said something that made his blood run cold. "I'm sorry Dean. I don't remember you. I don't remember Lee Stetson, I don't remember Billy. None of you."

Dean said "Lee? Billy? How many men are in your life Amanda?"

Amanda said "That's just it Dean. I don't even know. I just know that Lee showed up in my hospital room after the accident and I guess we were on a date and getting chili dogs and he went to make a phone call and I disappeared. I don't remember any of that."

Dean's face had turned white and he told Amanda that he thought he should go. She walked him out and told him she was sorry. "When I get my memory back, hopefully it will all make sense again Dean. I'm really sorry. I wish I could remember you but I just don't."

Dean whispered as he walked to his car "I'm sorry too Amanda."

It might have ended there but when Amanda got her memory back and realized what had happened, she felt awful. She knew that it was time to break it off with Dean when she couldn't remember him but she never wanted to hurt his feelings like that. The words that Lee had said to her during that meeting at the Chili dog stand kept repeating in her head "Are you still with that guy? I just don't see the two of you together." Sadly, she didn't see the two of them together either and knew that it was time to deal with this. It was something she should have done a long time ago. She called Dean up and asked him if he would please meet her in the park.

Dean had been sad since that day when he left her house. He felt like he should say no but at the same time, he knew he needed to hear the truth and he needed closure so he agreed to meet her.

They sat at a picnic table and Amanda gently took his hand in hers. "Dean, I never meant to hurt you. In fact, I have spent this whole time being afraid of hurting you. You are a very sweet and wonderful man and someday you are going to make some woman very happy. I'm just not that woman Dean. Now what I told you about Lee and Billy was not correct. I'm not dating anyone else. I didn't cheat on you ever. Lee is a friend and I wasn't even having lunch with him because I was going to have lunch with your Mother. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and Lee was there. None of that really matters though. I just want you to know Dean that I never meant to hurt you. There just was never really any sparks between us. I wanted there to be. I know you would have been good to me but Joe was good to me too at first but later it just wasn't enough. I want the man who makes me tingle and who makes my heart pound madly every time I look at him. It just isn't you. Now I know that hurts to hear that but one day you are going to find the woman who does all of that for you and you will understand what I'm talking about. Dean, you have changed so much. I hope that I have helped you be a little more social and be a little confident in yourself. You need to get out more. You need to go to social gatherings and talk to people. You would be amazed at how much more fun life will be when you do. Do you understand?"

Dean had lowered his head to look at the ground while Amanda was talking. She put her finger under his chin and said "Dean, please don't shut down. You have so much to give a woman. The right one will come along. I just know it. I will always remember the sweet moments we had fondly. I will always care about you but it really is time for us to both move on. I'm pretty sure you know this deep down too, don't you?"

Dean said in a small voice "Yes, I know it is over. Amanda, I'm going to miss you. I hope you are right and that my soul mate is out there somewhere. I'm sorry it didn't work between us. Please know that if there is anything you need, you can still call me. I hope we will remain friends." Dean got up before the tears began to form. Amanda stood up too and gave him the biggest hug that she had ever dared to give to him and they both let a few tears fall.

Dean said as he pulled away from her "Take care of yourself. I will miss the boys too. I hope they don't take my leaving too hard."

Amanda replied "I'll explain it to them Dean. They will be sad because they really are fond of you but it is best that we part now before it becomes harder for them. Someday I hope to hear all about the wonderful woman you marry because I know it is going to happen. Goodbye Dean"

"Goodbye Amanda"

They both walked back to their cars and drove away. Dean's heart was broken. He really didn't know how he would go on without her. Amanda on the other hand felt free for the first time in a long time. She felt awful that she had to hurt him but once the hurt had begun, she knew it was time to sever the cord as there never was going to be any real connection between them. She realized that her motherly instincts had kicked in all this time and she felt the need to protect him like she would a lost and confused puppy. It was not a way to have a healthy relationship. She really hoped he would find a nice woman that loved him as he was though.

TBC